#chris pine fluff

"What you gave me three days ago made me wake up after four hours with a nightmare from hell. I'm still seeing ghosts in broad daylight."

He pursed his lips. "Please stop by the medbay at 2200 hours. We'll try something else."

I sighed, knowing that there was only one thing that would help, and it was not something our Chief Medical Officer could provide no matter how good he was. But I nodded. "Yes, doc." Then I pulled myself to my feet, grabbed the tray and went to put it back in the replicator for recycling.

For as long as I could remember, I'd had some form of insomnia. It hadn't been a problem when I was younger, I had been more energetic, more durable, not to mention more careless. But as I got older it got worse. Most of the time I managed to keep it under control, but sometimes it took on a life of its own. And when it did that, there was no medication, meditation or treatment that worked better than the captain of the ship, my boyfriend.

There was just something about Jim that calmed my mind like nothing else.

Funnily enough, insomnia was what brought us together. I had been wandering around the ship one night, after several nights of little sleep. Finding myself in the briefing room, I had sat down in the chair reserved for the captain, put my feet up on the table and gazed out at the streaking stars. After a few minutes of silence, the door had slid open and Captain Kirk had walked in. We were already on friendly terms, so I hadn't bothered taking my feet off the table or giving him the chair, even when he made a joke about it being his.

He'd been having trouble sleeping too, claiming his mind was running at warp 5 after an exhausting meeting in that very briefing room earlier in the day. He'd chosen to go back there in the hopes that it would clear his head.

We sat next to each other, him in the First Officer's chair and I kept occupying his, and chatted for a while. All the while we both seemed to gravitate more and more towards each other and I got sleepier at the same time, until I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder. He had gathered me up in his arms and ordered a site to site transport, dropped me off on my bed and pulled a blanket over me, before going back to his quarters, falling asleep as well. After that, our friendship had shifted and things escalated quickly from there.

Now though, he and Spock and several admirals were trying to work out a peace treaty between the Federation and the Klingon Empire. We had dropped them off on a colony near the Neutral Zone and had then gone off to survey a newborn nebula a couple of systems over. We weren't scheduled to go back for them for another two or three days, the trip itself took a whole day. And my body was kind enough to refuse to sleep properly without Jim now, no matter how much in control of the insomnia I was.

I made it through the day somehow, with at least two more disgusting cups of coffee. Thankfully, there was more than enough to do in Engineering that I decided to not leave once my shift was over, it was better to keep working than sitting in my quarters and feeling like I had been in the middle of a warp core breach. As soon as Jim and Spock came back, Starfleet wanted us to check out an uninhabited planet that a passing cargo ship had detected held large deposits of deuterium and our long-range sensors had detected too much atmospheric disturbance for transporting, so we had to adjust the shielding on several shuttlepods. I was barely conscious when I stumbled into the medbay at 2200 hours.

"Not looking any better, I see." Bones appeared out of nowhere and would have scared the daylights out of me if I hadn't been so sluggish.

"Your bedside manners are always so lovely."

He ushered me over to a biobed and pulled a tricorder from one of his pockets.

"There's no need to scan me. We both know what's wrong. Just give me what you think I need and I'll be off." I looked at the tricorder with annoyance.

He didn't answer but started scanning me anyway, so I sat there patiently, closing my tired eyes and listening to the whirring of the device. "It's a wonder they haven't found a cure for this yet, after 200 years of research," he muttered to himself.

I looked up at him and saw him analysing the results. "You've found a cure for some pretty serious viruses on your career, why don't you find the cure for this?" I argued.

"This isn't a virus, sweetheart."

"Still, I'm sure you're brilliant enough to find a solution." Bones always said that flattery would get you nowhere with him, but I found that more often than not, he enjoyed having his ego stroked. He was that good too.

He just huffed and went over to a cabinet. I saw him pull out a vial and fill up a hypospray. "I know you have tried this before and it didn't work so well. But that was a few years ago, it might work better for you now." I nodded and obediently bared my neck to him. One touch of the cold metal to my skin and it was done. "I want you to go straight to bed now. It should work quickly and you have to be in bed when it does."

"Yes, sir."

It did not work. Or, I did sleep through the night, but the dreams had me waking up more exhausted than if I hadn't slept at all. It had been worse than last time, the irrational, weird and disgusting dreams had just come at me, one after the other. I would honestly prefer good old-fashioned nightmares over this. I called Bones as soon as I had showered away the night and he was at my door by the time I had dressed.

"Sit down," he barked, the tricorder out and a deep furrow between his brows. "What happened?"

I told him all about the night, even gave him some snippets of the nasty dreams for emphasis, each one of them still crystal clear and disturbing in my mind. The way he cringed at some of it, told me just how disturbing they had been. It wasn't normal to dream that you're pooping out severed arms, after all. *

"This is very strange," he said after he was done scanning. "Barely any light or deep sleep at all. Dream sleep almost all night. I've heard about a few phenomena that cause a person to not have any dream sleep at all, but not nothing but dream sleep. You're not getting any more of this medication, and I'm making a note in your medical file."

I sighed, trying to think about what I could do to help myself that night. But Bones had suddenly gone very quiet. I looked up at him and there was a deep furrow between his brows, his eyes gazing down at the tricorder, but it looked like he was mentally lightyears away. "What's wrong, doc?"

He didn't react right away, but then he blinked and looked down at me. "There is something we can try, but it can be highly addictive if the dosage is off by even a fraction. Call Scotty and tell him you'll be a bit late. I need to take some blood for analysing."

All through that day, I felt a bit apprehensive about what Bones was planning on giving me later. And I missed Jim so much it ached. This was the worst it had been without him and it was also the longest we had gone without each other since we got together. I missed him because of his absence, of course. But in my sleep-deprived state, it felt a million times worse. It felt like there was a gaping, bleeding hole inside me where he should be. I needed him to calm my mind, to kiss me and tell me it's okay if I can't sleep, that I'll sleep when I'm ready and he would be there with me all the while. I needed him to breathe with me. I needed to feel him. He was able to relax me enough that I could function.

After working well past my shift again and forcing down too many cups of coffee, I forced back tears of exhaustion and desperation and went to the medbay, got the mysterious hypospray and went straight to bed.

Apart from the fact that I woke up every ten to fifteen minutes, this one worked a lot better. In the morning, I felt less like I had been hit with a meteor shower and more like I had just tumbled through a thick atmosphere without a spacesuit. Bones came to check up on me in engineering after lunch and I asked if I could get a higher dosage, hoping that maybe that would finally be what helped me sleep through the night. But he refused, he had given me as much as my body could handle without becoming addicted or suffering other nasty side effects. In defeat, I told him if I couldn't have a higher dosage, I didn't want it at all. Then I started counting the hours until Jim came home, and drank all the coffee I could stomach so I wouldn't feel like a zombie.

I was just starting to doze off. It was probably just an hour or so until my alarm, but I let sleep take me. I would take anything I could get. What felt like just a minute later though, the computer spoke to me.

"The time is 0630 hours. The time is 0630 hours."

"No no no," I moaned in annoyance, screwing my eyes shut to the illumination in the room becoming stronger. But then a pair of lips landed on my cheek.

"Forgot to turn that off," someone said.

I didn't process this right away, but in the back of my head I knew that voice and knew it was important, so I forced myself to open my eyes to the way too bright room. Jim was there next to me and judging by his one barely open eye, he had just woken up too. "Hi..."

My heart was beating wildly in my chest, the room seemed to be spinning a little, my vision getting blurry, but then he smiled with his eyes closed and started to clumsily kiss my cheek and jaw and everything cleared up.

"When did you come home?" I whispered.

Jim didn't answer but kept trying to kiss me, but he was struggling, he too seemed exhausted, not able to aim. "A while. Laid down minutes ago. Tired. Want lips."

I made a happy sound and rolled around to face him. He opened his eyes a fraction, revealing the brilliant blue I loved so much. His lips landed on my nose, then my cheek before finally finding my lips. The gaping aching hole inside me seemed to vanish. I moved closer, pressing my lips and my body to his and everything inside me seemed to settle down, mind was quiet, all tension washed away. When I needed air, I pulled back just enough so I could stare into his eyes and see every little shade of blue in them. "You're home."

"The time is 0635 hours. The time is 0635 hours."

"Home and tired." His breath washed over me when he spoke and I wanted to breathe nothing but him for the rest of my life.

"Ditto. Haven't slept since you left."

"I know, Bones told me. I'm so sorry, Supernova."

"'s okay. Just missed you." My voice broke, and all the frustrations from the past week made a few tears fall. Jim snuck one of his arms around my waist and I moved even closer, burying my face into his neck, breathing in the smell of stars and nebulas and galaxies. "How were the peace talks?" I asked between lazy kisses to the soft skin on the side of his neck.

Jim didn't reply right away. Instead, he kissed my hair, breathing it in for a moment. "Exhausting. I'll tell you all about it later."

"The time is 0640 hours. The time is 0640 hours."

"Have to get up," I mumbled against his skin, but my entire body felt like lead in Jim's arms.

"Computer, turn off the alarm." A gentle beep confirmed it was now turned off. Then Jim pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. "Bones told me to tell you that he has declared you not fit for duty today and that he has ordered bed rest, and if you disobey his orders, he will not hesitate to have you strapped to a biobed with a force field."

I blinked. "But..."

"And your Captain concurs. He recommends you spend the day with him in bed and sleep." He was grinning at me. "He's been flying fancy admirals in a shuttle all night and is in need of some tender loving care from the love of his life."

I knew there were things I had to do in Engineering. It would take time and almost all the Engineering staff to get the shuttlepods ready in time for exploring the deuterium planet. But as I looked into Jim's eyes, I felt exhaustion all the way to my bone marrow, and there was no point arguing with that, or the Captain and the Chief Medical Officer. I teared up with relief and buried my face in Jim's neck again.

Jim settled down on his back and pulled me halfway on top of him. I swallowed down my emotions and rested my head on his shoulder, tangled my legs with his, and laid my arm across his stomach. Peace filled me and I barely had time to mumble love you before I was fast asleep.

I wasn't too much of a fan of the mistletoes, but I was still hoping Jim would catch me under one. We'd been dancing around each other for far too long. We were both clear on what we wanted, having had our relationship grow naturally from fellow students to colleagues to friends to friends wanting more. But for some reason, neither one of us took that next step. Why I didn't do it, I wasn't entirely sure, but I was starting to think he took some perverse pleasure in watching me sweat and squirm. But I kind of loved making him sweat and squirm too, so that made it bearable.

So far, I hadn't even seen Jim when I had been near a mistletoe. Everyone had put them to good use and I had even caught a kiss on the cheek from a blushing Ensign, from Nyota, and one of Bones' nurses. It wasn't until Christmas Eve that I got close. That morning, I had stopped to have a quick chat with Lieutenant Tanager from the biology department on my way out of the mess hall after breakfast. Scotty had appeared and surprised me with a kiss on the cheek, I hadn't even realised I was under a mistletoe. Jim had wandered in after my boss, but he had just smiled at me and gone straight for the replicator. I had blinked in surprise, said goodbye to Lieutenant Tanager and left for Engineering to start my shift.

Insecurities grew in me as the day wore on. Especially after seeing Jim kiss the top of Nyota's head as I grabbed a satsuma on the way to my quarters to change after my shift. Not feeling very much like dinner with everyone anymore, I replicated some toast and started packing for a couple of days of shore leave the next day.

Starfleet had invited their senior officers to an informal Christmas party on Deep Space Station K-7 and we were scheduled to arrive bright and early on Christmas Day. Jim was taking all of his senior bridge crew, and chiefs and assistant chiefs of all the ship's departments and divisions. I was looking forward to some change of scenery and real alcohol. Sometimes synthehol just didn't cut it.

Deep Space Station K-7 had a few restaurants, a couple of bars, one giant mess hall, a few observation decks, but small quarters. It wasn't designed for having guests staying long, as it was right beside the Klingon border. But it was enough for two days and one night. Jim would never have us stay longer – he wasn't exactly a fan of being this close to the Klingon Empire.

The party would be on the observation deck, the mess hall and the closest bar. I decided to start in the mess hall, where most of the food would be. Classical Christmas music could be heard down the hall and I felt the spirit of it all sneak into me a bit, the music was catchy. The mess hall was beautifully decorated, elegant and classy and wondrous, but also infested with those wretched mistletoes. They were above doorways and snack tables. I was careful not to linger in the doorway too long, and thankfully Tanager and Nyota hailed me the moment I stepped inside.

"These cheese fritters are delicious!" Tanager announced, leaning back against a tall round table, holding up a small plate with several round golden balls on it, a couple of different dipping sauces on the side.

I snatched one off her plate and ate it before she knew what happened. "So they are." I grinned and went to grab some, careful not to stay near a mistletoe for more than a quarter of a second. I also found the drinks table and got the strongest one I could recognize.

"Trying to forget something?" Uhura asked, one eyebrow raised, nodding at the glass in my hand.

I took a large gulp of the drink, emptying almost half the glass in one go and shuddered at the burning in my throat. "Just in a drinking mood," I replied with a shrug.

The three of us chatted for a while, getting through a bunch more cheese fritters, pork ribs, fruit cake, borscht, prawns and cookies. Not to mention I had two more of those drinks, and not even all that food could soak up enough of the booze flowing through my veins. I was well and truly tipsy already.

After a while, both Nyota and Tanager headed off to check out the observation deck, and I was left with my third drink. That's when Jim came in. The new female personnel officer we picked up at har last starbase pit stop halted him by the door, right under the mistletoe. Even from across the room, I could see her flirting shamelessly with him, her hand on his arm, batting her eyelashes and giggling. I rolled my eyes and made a face as if I had tasted something disgusting. Some goddamn personnel officer. When Jim bent down and kissed her on the cheek, I turned around and downed what was left of the drink Nyota had left behind and went to refill both her glass and mine.

"Too damn close to Klingon borders," someone muttered on my left. I looked around and saw Jim, looking handsome in civvies, dark jeans, black t-shirt and leather jacket, quite a long way from his Starfleet issued trousers and golden shirt. "Hi," he said and gently bumped his shoulder into mine.

"Hello," I said, pursing my lips. I corked the bottle and lifted both glasses.

"You here with someone?" Jim asked, eyeing the two drinks.

"Nope. Both mine."

He chuckled and poured one for himself. "Thirsty?"

"You could say that." Without another word, I turned around and started towards my table again, but it was now occupied by none other than that personnel officer and her friends. "Well fuck."

Jim turned around and followed my gaze. "Your table?"

"Yep."

We were silent for a few moments and I downed half of one of the drinks while glaring at my occupied table, before Jim bumped into my shoulder again and leaned in. "You okay? I've barely seen you for the past few days. I miss you."

I tried not to let the obvious worry in his voice get to me. "I'm fine. Just been busy getting into the Christmas spirit." Before he could dig further, my comm went off and Tanager called me over to the observation deck. I downed the rest of the glass and set it down. "See you later, Jim," I said with a smile and hurried off with the full glass.

This time, I wasn't quick enough to duck away from the mistletoe by the door, and a Chief Engineering officer I recognized from my Academy days who had tried to chat me up back then, cornered me. The alcohol had clouded my judgement, and before he had time to say anything else than "hi", I dragged him down by the collar of his shirt and planted my lips on his. He only took a split second to kiss me back, but when he tried to slip his tongue into my mouth, I pulled back and pushed him gently away. Then I winked and disappeared from the mess hall.

By the time I got to the observation deck, Tanager was gone and Uhura was nowhere to be seen either. But I didn't mind, as I found a makeshift bar and ordered two more drinks since the one I had brought with me was empty already. I grabbed one in each hand and found a comfortable seat overlooking the stars outside.

All the drinks had made my mind pleasantly fuzzy and gooey. Soon, I realised I was sitting directly below a mistletoe as someone kissed my cheeks. I snapped my head around and the room spun for a moment, but thankfully it was just Scotty again. He and a few of our senior Engineering officers joined me and we had a fun time embarrassing each other with stories from work and Scotty was kind enough to fetch me one more drink. Once that was gone, the stars in the window seemed to be blinking and moving and were making me dizzy. Some rational part of my brain that had somehow managed to not have drowned in alcohol figured it was best to call it a night.

I said my goodbyes and stumble towards the door and curse loudly when someone knocked into me right in the doorway. "Not another fucking mistletoe," I whined.

"Shhhhh," someone said and dragged me away. I stumbled after the person and only when they stopped, did I see that it was Jim, and he had his hands full of mistletoes. "Help me hide these," he slurred while looking down at the green branches and red bows.

"Did you take down all of them?"

"I think so. Can we hide them in your room? I can't be seen with them."

"Sure," I said and staggered towards the turbolift. It was already there and we got in, Jim leaning back against the wall, holding the mistletoes up to his chest. It took me a moment to remember the number of the deck my room was on, and I hoped it was right when the turbolift took off. "Why'd you take them?"

Jim frowned down at the branches, looking at them as if they'd insulted his entire family. "Don't like 'em."

Something pricked at my cheek and woke me up the next morning. I frowned and groaned and moved my head, but the pricking feeling didn't quite go away. I opened my eyes but shut them quickly at the too bright light in the room. I must have forgotten to turn them down before I fell asleep.

"Computer, lights down to 10 %." Behind my eyelids, I saw the light dim and dared to open my eyes again. Then I felt around my face for whatever was pricking me. I pulled something from my hair and held it up, staring at, feeling very confused. It was mistletoe. I tossed it to the floor and when my arm fell down on the mattress, I noticed there was more there. I sat up and looked around.

There were mistletoes everywhere on my bed. And that's when it came back to me. Jim had stolen all the mistletoes around the Christmas party and we had staggered into my room and he had dropped them on the bed. He had hugged me goodnight, stumbling a little and then left. In my drunken and dazed state, I had collapsed onto the bed and slept in the mistletoes.

I didn't have the energy to deal with them just then. My stomach growled like a bear and I saw it was around the time we had agreed to meet for breakfast. I changed my clothes, splashed cold water onto my face, brushed my teeth, hurriedly pulled my fingers through my hair and headed out. Something fatty and salty for breakfast, and then I would grab a shower and a bath before we went back to the Enterprise.

Out in the hall, Jim, Nyota, Scotty, Tanager, Bones and Sulu were also coming out of their rooms. They all looked just as terrible as I felt. I caught up with them, falling into step next to Jim.

"Morning," he said with a smile.

"Good morning." I was still feeling a little insecure from everything that had happened the last few days, so different from how he had been the last few months.

As we rounded the corner to the stairs, Sulu cleared his throat behind us. "It appears you have branches in your hair, Lieutenant," he said amusedly.

I stopped and felt the back of my head, finding nothing, looking questioningly at Sulu. Jim had paused to look too. He chuckled and pulled away a mistletoe.

Chekov cleared his throat and looked amused and Nyota smirked. I felt myself blush.

"So that's what happened to all the mistletoes," Tanager said. "Did you two have sex on them or something?"

I blushed even harder and shook my head. "I don't know how that got there."

"Sure." She raised her eyebrows and looked up before she and Sulu walked past us.

I looked up and Jim was holding the mistletoe above my head. Then I looked at him, his blue eyes sparkling in an otherwise pale and tired face, staring at me. Then he too looked up, before turning back to me with a wink. I rolled my eyes, it was so cheesy. But I remembered how he said he had missed me yesterday and I had to kiss him at least once in my life, so I slipped one hand behind his neck, the other grabbing his collar and pulled him down. Our lips met and the others whistled and laughed.

Jim threw the mistletoe away and slipped his arms around my waist, pushing us back around the corner, away from everyone. As soon as we were out of sight, his lips were on mine again. I pressed myself against him, months of frustrations needing a release. His tongue pushed against mine and he tasted like minty toothpaste. I was close to jumping up to straddle his waist right there in the hall when my stomach roared like an animal again.

I pulled away with a breathy chuckle. Jim leant his forehead against mine, breathing hard. "Replicator breakfast?" I asked.

"Replicator breakfast."

The usual sound of the door unlocking could be heard and then it slid to the side. I blinked and my heart rate sped up. I managed to step inside before the door could close again. The room was the same as before, Jim's uniform scattered in a path towards the bathroom, empty coffee cups next to the replicator, a few PADDs lying around. I don't know why I had expected it to be different.

But then I heard something I had never heard before. A male voice was singing acapella. I looked around but it didn't look like Jim had put any music on. But as I walked further into the room, I realised the voice was Jim's and it was coming from the bathroom. I stepped carefully closer, listening intently.

He was good. Really good. His voice could melt me on any given day, but his singing was even better. I could listen to this all day.

I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. He was in the sonic shower, voice echoing around the room in soothing notes. I didn't recognize the song, but it sounded like some of the old music he liked.

Jim didn't notice me standing there, leaning against the door, arms crossed over my chest until he switched the shower off and turned around.

"Hi, how long have you been standing there?" A blush crept down from his face to his chest.

"Long enough to know you have a career to fall back on should this Captain-lark not work out. You're really good."

He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, stepping closer to me. "You have heart-eyes."

"As I said, you're good."

He walked even closer and I pushed myself off from the wall. He grabbed my waist and pulled me close, planting his lips to mine for a moment. Then he looked straight into my eyes. "If you tell anyone, I will have to kill you."

"Deal." I slid my hands across his shoulders and buried my fingers in his post-shower mess of a hair. "But I'm going to need you to sing to me now."

He seemed to consider but was quick to call it a deal. "I see you came in without problems?"

I hummed and leaned my forehead against his. "Going to sneak in on you singing in the shower all the time now."

"When are you giving me automatic access to your quarters?"

I kissed him quickly. "Thought my quarters were too small for you. I'm just a lowly lieutenant after all. Besides, you've had access to my quarters for some time now, Captain. I thought you had already figured that out, and that you just like using the doorbell."

He leaned his head back and looked at me. "You are a devious little thing."

"And you love it."

I knew they'd be down again today, and I was going to open up one of our sensor probes and see if I couldn't increase the range of it for the mission we were going on after we dropped off the Coridanites. I needed to concentrate and knew it would be hard with them walking around. So that morning, I dug out a pair of old headphones from deep in my closet, loaded them with one of my favourite Klingon operas and went off to work.

It was much easier to work like this, being surrounded by the grand symphonies and the dramatic singing, not hearing anything of what was going on around me. I did get some weird looks from a few of the other officers, but I ignored it. They're just jealous, I thought to myself.

I was losing myself in my work, the insides of the sensor probe laid out around me on the floor and the desk, a few tools within reach. I was connecting my PADD to the sensor's computer to run some simulations when there was a tap on my shoulder. I started and nearly dropped the PADD, probably made a noise too, but I couldn't be sure, as the Klingon singer in my ears was reaching the height of the song.

Spinning around, I saw Jim standing there with an amused look on his face, the Coridanites behind him looking puzzled. I promptly removed the headphones and stood up. "Captain Kirk. Officers." I nodded in greeting. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"At ease, Lieutenant. Our visitors were just curious about the noise coming from this corner." He nodded towards the headphones on the desk.

"Oh, my apologies." I looked towards the Coridanites and spoke to them. "I'm working on something that requires my complete focus, and listening to my favourite music helps."

"It's Klingon opera," Jim explained with a slight shake of his head.

"Yes, I recognized the screaming," one of the Coridanite officers said. "How can you work in that noise?"

"Is it very audible to the rest of the room?" I was suddenly afraid I had bothered my fellow officers all day.

"We don't mind," Commander Kyle shot in as he walked past, balancing what looked like ten PADDs in his arms. I smiled at him in thanks.

"We should move on. Commander Scott promised to show us the warp core," Jim said, pointing towards Scotty, waiting by the door. As the Coridanites headed towards the Chief Engineer, Jim lingered. "I know they have some questions about the warp drive that I think you will be able to answer better than most, would you join us for lunch later?"

"Sure." I reached for my headphones, ready to get back to work.