#chorva

We met online, not knowing that was the first step to know you better. It started out sending out comments and posting on our Tambay thread with the rest of the Filipinos in the community we were in. Remember when there was an issue about ‘racism’ and one of the admins (from another country) seemed like had a nerve with us Filipinos? I even convinced you to extend your time at the net cafe you're in for help via supporting our argument since your time was about to stop.

We started exchanging numbers to keep in touch a few days or weeks after that issue. I was in high school back then and was to graduate. I was an aspiring UP student then, yet unfortunately my GPA was low to pass the exam (and I was too late to have myself reconsider at UP). You even comforted me that there were other schools better than UP, so I stopped ranting and started thinking for second plans. Came college, and I was super excited that I even texted you about it. I was already asking about college stuff since I was looking forward to it since I was studying for UPCAT. You even gave me tips to survive the pre-zombie life.

Remember our first telebabad night? Yup, that was my 17th birthday. I was busy revising our research papers for FILI 7 and ENGL2 subjects. As far as I can remember, you asked for my permission that night to call me, and I said yes. I didn’t know how and why but as I realized, we began sharing our stories with each other, with some restrictions though. You even asked me, “Kelan kaya tayo magkikita sa personal?” and I answered, “Siguro after five years” cos I was a civil engineering back then, on the verge of shifting on another course. I already knew that, I was blinded with all those “tiwala lang” thoughts.

So it happened. My pre-CE career ended. I was depressed and unsure of what course to take as a shiftee (I knew my family would not let me enroll to another school out of Cavite, so I pursued another program within the university I’m in). A few days after those depressing days of my life, you together with Tine and her ex Erol gave me a surprise visit. I was shocked because Tine brought you along here in Cavite. Never would have thought that I’d see you a month after our first telebabad. We had fun having our hangout though it was two to three hours long.

Minutes after we parted ways, you texted me “Kumusta naman pagkikita natin sa personal? :)” and it started all. Never a day did we not send text messages to each other. We even had our second telebabad night wherein we opened up to each other via asking questions. You even invited me to a date. I was so uncertain of what to response because that was a first. Never did a guy invite me to a date until you came. I was already having second thoughts if you like me or not, because I knew guys who are this way. So I convinced myself, “nope, he’s not the one”, yet I agreed to your proposed date.

Came our first date. You even fetched me at our village gate just to ascertain my safety. I was fidgety and quiet especially when you pinched my sides resulting from a one-sided hug during the bus ride. I was really shocked that I miscalculated your “breezy” moves. You even held my hand and hugged me nth times, you even snatched a kiss from me! All of those during our first date. Wow, ang breezy mo nga talaga!

Remember when Tine and Erol together with Tine’s friend named Ian visited me on our village? You were utterly jealous of Ian since Tine and Erol teasingly matched us up. That was also when Erol gave me a warning to cut my ties off with you due to your crazy clingy ex. But as a stubborn moth curiously want to stay close with the fire; I failed to consider his warning which resulted to a newly born relationship full of ups and downs.

I did fell. Hard. No, harder than I ever imagined. I began being adventurous, e.g., going on Manila trips without the consent of my parents just to see you. I altruistically shared my money whenever you’re in need which you do as well (kahit na sure na kong maglalakad pauwi). I also began taking risks without worrying about people’s opinion about us. You taught me how to keep my cool when pressured, think twice (or thrice) before doing a specific action, even mull over personal happiness instead of obligations in this world.

Iyan yung tanong ng nanay ko na hindi ko pa rin nasasagutan hanggang ngayon. Daig pa nito yung mga tanong sa exams sa major subjects ko nung nag-aaral pa ko sa kolehiyo, na kahit pag-aralan ko ay kamote pa rin ang makukuha ko. Dinaig pa nito yung hirap ng problem sets sa Theory of Interest, na kahit tumingin sa iba ay mali pa rin ang sagot. At mas lalong daig pa nito ang panggigisa ng mga panel habang nagdedefend ng thesis, na hindi ko maipaliwanag ang isasagot. Bagkus, tinikom ko na lang ang aking bibig at napaisip.

Ano nga ba ang plano ko sa buhay?

Ang daling sabihing magtrabaho pero mahirap ipaliwanag kung anong klaseng trabaho. Ang daling sabihing mag-aaral ng master's degree pero mahirap pag-isipan kung anong larangan ang tatahakin, idagdag pa ang gastos sa pag-aaral. Ang daling sabihing tumambay muna pero kung iisipin ang mahabang termino ay nakakapagod din dahil magiging balisa habang iniisip kung ano ba ang dapat sa iyo; yung pinapangarap mo sa buhay.

Ang daling sabihin nang bata pa tayo kung ano ang gusto natin sa buhay. May iba nais maging doktor, ang iba nama'y inhinyero, broadcaster, at guro. Siguro ay hindi pa natin alintana ang mga balakid at u-turns noong bata pa tayo kaya madali lang sa atin ang magsabi kung ano ba ang gusto natin makamit. Kumbaga tila kabisado mo ang tatahakin mo. Pero unti-unti kang malilito habang dumadagdag ang edad, at mapapakamot na lang habang napapaisip sa isang tabi, "Eto nga ba talaga ang gusto ko?"

I am enthusiastic of contributing well to the company. In short, all around po ako. Encoder/janitress/taga-timpla ng kape/fax machine girl/masahista/etc.

Did you know that by hiring me lessens the unemployment rate of about 3%? Works wonders, right?

As a breadwinner, I need a job to support my family's needs specifically food, education and bills.

Via hiring me, I might discover new skills and hone them in such a way to contribute to the company.

I am confidently dexterous with a heart.

I think this company/institution needs a new talent to soar skies.

In need of money po para maka-graduate at ma-clear ang clearance.

Okay lang kahit di maayos kilay mo, basta maayos thesis mo.

Sa paggawa ng thesis nagsisimula ang pagbabago. Di ka na nakakakain ng maayos. Nagiging anti-social ka na. Kung minsan ay daig pa ang babaeng dinalaw ng kabuwanan sa pagwawalang madedelete ang ginagawa mo kahit tinapik ka lang sa balikat ng iyong kaibigan. Ito talaga ang #ChangeisComing.

You will far exceed your limitations. Yung akala mong di mo kayang gawin, nagagawa mo in the name of thesis.

Ginto na ang dalawang oras na tulog. Choosy ka pa ba?

Bumagyo, lumindol, magkatsunami… Magunaw man ang mundo, tuloy pa rin kakarevise. Mas priority thesis kaysa sa buhay mo.

Ang thesis parang virus. Dapat ikinakalat for backup (not kidding, this really comes handy).

Okay lang magkamali at magkulang. Tanda yan na tao ka lang at may mga limitasyon ka. Maitatama at mapupunan rin yan (ng technical critic).