#choptalk

WOW!!! Just wow...  Tiya Sircar just knocked it out of the park...

This episode was sooo well done but WAAAYYYYYY too short. I wanted more.

The emotion in this episode stroke me rather hard on a personal level because...not an hour ago, I was sitting in a room with my two managers and being told that I’m not doing a good job where I work...this after a genuine effort on my part, though hardly perfect. It’s not the first time either. Their patience with me continues to dwindle to nothing. Apparently, I’m an investment to them and they want to avoid turn around. At least that’s what they told me. They gave me all these examples of things I was doing wrong. How the job isn’t that hard. How my logical choice of doing the work is wrong. etc etc. But for my part. All I kept thinking was “I thought I was doing better.”

I walked out of it wanting to do better but it only echos what I’ve heard at previous jobs... I doubt I’ll be able to do better. Shattered confidence will be what breaks me (again).

No matter how good my intention is...I feel I don’t have a place in the world. I’m just existing...hoping to do the best I can...much like Sabine.

Unlike her though my isssues aren’t an Empire or a traitorous family...I have ADHD anxiety depression and Asperger’s.

I wish I had a Bendu to talk to...or a Yoda. But I must come back to reality at the end of the day...I have to keep trying to find my place in the world.

I keep asking to whatever higher power there is for a miracle to help me find where i belong. A guide. I don’t want anything handed to me...I want to earn it. To be able to wield my own darksaber.

CHOPTALK #2