#choosing paths

https://ko-fi.com/bichcarito

Being scared and determinated at the same time is a weird combination. I guess everyone who actually chases their dreams knows it very well. You sign up for being constantly anxious; as if you were lighten up on fire. Or are about to. Every second. The path you're choosing to cross will exhaust you. It's going to defy you in every way possible, turning your life into a strong inconsistancy. A danger to one's mental health. You'll always doubt your capacity. You'll wish you were born an economist instead of an artist. It will get close to drive you mad. Anxiety. A lot of it. On a daily basis. But... What about that idea in your head? The one you saw so clearly you could almost smell it, that day going home in the everyday bus drive boredom. It's yours and no one will deliver it the same way that you could. Are you going to let it die and fade away for an office, an assured amount of money? Is this really the easy way through adult life? The path you're choosing to cross will drive you mad. Into utter regret. You'll always doubt your life choices. Depression. A lot of it. On a daily basis. Instead, you could just write. Write like you're running out of time.

So troubled is the man with endless possibilities that it should benefit he to commit suicide,for with one gulp, lash, or jump the act of choosing a destiny is lost and no more thoughts of worry will pass through his mind. Although today this is rational, it is true sadness is situational. With one hand to hold and voice of reason tomorrows hours could give rebirth to a new meaning of breathing; for the one who cries for change only needs it to be known that they do not long for it alone. Yet, I’ll continue to starve myself with bread and water, but search for the wine that gives my blood color. Many mistake love for reason-- but because I know I am loved, I must find a reason to be so. Troubled is he that searches for a reason to live, that he wastes the time thinking instead of being.