#chitterchat

‘Buvaloo?’

I’ve always been self-conscious about my freckles. They aren’t the rosy dappled patches on cheeks and shoulder like redheads get. Properly, they are ‘moles’, even the ones level with the surface of my skin. I have memories of my mom scrubbing my legs after playing in the mud only to realize the spots weren’t all coming off. As I’ve gotten older, they just keep appearing, more on my left arm from driving a car, etc. So it’s been a huge boost to my self-image to see a famous person who famously has many moles like mine and is admired because of them, as an added attribute, rather than despite. (Disclaimer: Connor Storrie is also baseline a beautiful person so that may influence public perception.) I’m actually, for the first time in my 34 years, thinking of them as a positive rather than a flaw.

>> @doctorhealthyself

I made a new friend at work

So, I was at the Blues v Newcastle game, October 2004. My season ticket seat then was in the Kop, right by the half way line and eight rows from the front. I was in the kind of position that when it went quiet, you could hear what the players said on the pitch if they were loud about it. Anyway, there was a break in play for injury, and the players not involved were standing around, as you do. I've never liked Alan Shearer particularly; I always thought he was a bit of a cheat with his elbows and a bit of a prat in general. So I yelled at him "oi, Mary Poppins. Put your fucking elbows away". Shearer looks at me, right in the eye. Emboldened by this and a couple of pints of beer swishing around my system, I continued with "you fucking heard me, you cheating prick" or similar. I also made the standard "elbows" gesture - ie stood up, and nudging my elbow away from my body. Shearer laughs, points at me, makes the gesture for spectacles (finger and thumb around his eyes), and then using his hands makes a gesture to imply I might be describable as rotund. Cue laughter around me. I of course had to respond with the elbows gesture, and calling him Mary Poppins, as he continued to make the fat jokes. Play restarted, and it was all forgotten.