YAAY! well in that case, here's mine. [01:34] jeonghan + "we cant be friends anymore...i will always see you as something else". genre and event/set-up is on you bb, i know i'll like whatever u come up with 🌟
something else. jeonghan. angst, fluff. 731 words.
notes. thank you for requesting this, chi! i’ll do my darnedest! I hope you will like it! 😣💗
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“I think… we can’t be friends anymore.”
You feel your body freeze upon Jeonghan’s words reaching your ears through the gravelly noise of his television, heart immediately twisting in your chest and unease tingling as it ascends beneath your skin. All while the heaviest of weights relieves your shoulders and you feel like you might begin floating.
Without turning your head, you glance at Jeonghan and the way blue light casts flattering shadows along the curves of his profile. You watch his heavy eyelids, the defined angle of his nose, the endearing pout of his lips that were buried between your legs less than an hour ago.
It had started with slow kisses, as it does on most nights. And progressed until your pants were left unwanted on the floor and his dark head of hair was clutched by your trained hands while he drew licks across your sex with a warm tongue. Until you clenched around his slender fingers when your body was thrown into its release and he shifted you until you were straddling his lap as he sunk into the couch. Until you were all but bouncing atop his length, reveling in the homely way it reached unnamed corners inside you and caused the muscles in your abdomen to tighten and curl. Until he pushed you down and climbed on top of you, occupying your mouth with his tongue as your respective moans mingled and his hips rolled to fuck into you from another angle. Until the accidental “I love you” he muttered against your neck before diving head first into a climax of his own, figure shaking in tremors above you and warming your stiffened body from within.
You lied still as he panted heavily atop your frame, wondering if he knew that you had heard his unintentional confession. Which you are not sure counts as a confession considering that he has said it before. A long enough time ago for you to have forgotten what his voice sounds like while saying it. For it to maybe count as a confession again. For it to make your heart stop.
Jeonghan acted as though nothing abnormal had been said and you followed suit, dressing yourself like he and conversing comfortably like he. You tried to ignore the clock that obnoxiously ticked in the back of your mind, nagging at you to ask, to say, to clarify, to make sure. Like a friend would do.
As you watch his chest grow and shrink beneath the increasing heaviness of his breaths, his eyes refuse to turn and meet yours halfway, like how they usually do. Finally you see, he is breaking.
You were boyfriend and girlfriend. You are exes. You are friends. But you cannot be that anymore, Jeonghan says.
You are not sure of what pushed him to say this now.
“Because,” He breathes and collects himself. Works to gather all the scattered shards of his being and letting them cut him in the process. “I just, I will always see you as something else.”
He is not breaking, you correct. He is broken.
Tears are what bleed, spilling from the inner corners of his eyes and onto the palms that soon cover his face. He trembles under strained sobs, glued together pieces falling apart atop the cushions of his couch and exposing his cries that have been stored away. His wails vibrate through dense air and turn every other sound into white, mundane noise.
And you only stare, limbs rigid and raucous heartbeat threatening to render you deaf. Jeonghan wilts before you and becomes the man you broke up with nine months ago and you only stare. You think you should hug him and you do not. You thought you should have let him go and you did not. You know you should take responsibility for his prolonged pain and you cannot.
The heartbreak that you have helped craft overflows under your unerring glare and Jeonghan cries and cries and cries until he drowns out even your stressing heart.
You are not sure of what pushed him to say this now. But it is time, you would guess. Too much time. That has now run out. The clock stops.
A nod bobs your head as you wince beneath a severed heart’s howl.
No, you cannot be friends anymore. And you haven’t been. Not for a very long time.
