Of Hell
What happens when Hell says she's pregnant? Out of the blue months later. After you only had carnal knowledge of each other only twice? After you made sure contraception was involved and the cemented compliance you've both said you didn't want children. After the brief encounter and she got clingy and posessive. After you calmly explained what the future would detail. Then, after that. Months without talking she starts stalking you again. Except now she's malicious and malevolent, with nothing but detriment and harmful intent towards me. Me. I was polite and courteous. I was up front and honest. Yes, when she told me I reacted with panic. I had assumed she would also have that preconceived notion of imminent doom and death, a potential life spoiled by misery on the horizon. But no. Hell wants to keep it. Hell wants to suck the financial blood from my proverbial veins. She has no job. Her family is fucked with convicts, drug addiction, and various other detriments. Come to find this out later. It doesn't help with the double standard that the choice was out of my hands. I'm going to have to suffer for the consequences of someone else's decision to bring a life into this world. A miserable life that I, in my heart of hearts, want nothing to do with. No one asked me if I wanted to be a father. She got that choice and said Yes. I say no. So now, I'm going to suffer. I'm going to start saving money for a passport. I loved being a soldier. Perhaps I can attempt the FFL. I refuse to be brought low by another. I'm the only mother fucker that runs my life and I say who's in and who's out. Ahh, my pride.
