Lmfaoooo. From personal experience, this is the best case scenario. It's worse when they come up to you with their own theories and you have to sit there politely and listen to a 4 year old explain that babies fall out of buttholes in extreme detail.

But to answer the ask!!!

Jem: feels extremely awkward, but also as a healer he feels highly responsible about health education, so he's gunna sit that kid down and explain everything in a short and concise way. He only stutters twice when saying the word 'vulva'.

Raena: Uhmmmmmmm... they grow on trees! That's all you need to know for now, sweetling!

Vana: A very curt, "From mommies." And then she's gone.

Linzel: ascribes to the elder passing knowledge idea, so tries to find someone older, wiser and willing to have this talk. Immediately asks the Guildmaster to do it with terrible results.

Maymie: sits down and gives her kiddo the rough and dirty of sex without any issue. She'd been desensitized to it since she was a kid herself.

Aslo: awkward laughter and deflects: "Hey are you hungry?"

@vikinglumberjack thanks for the ask! This would take forever if I went with all of them, so I’m only answering for Alessa (Lance and Mila), Freya (Cypress, Sage, and Magnolia), and Zira (Masha and Vaurie). Credit to @catboyrosethorn for helping to come up with names and traits. 

4. What are the meanings behind the children’s names, if they DO have meanings? Were they named after someone?

Lance was chosen simply because I like the name, and always have. It just sounded regal to me when I heard it when I was little and I’ve liked it since.

Mila is short for Militsa, which means “dear, kind, loving” from what I could tell. 

Cypress, Sage, and Magnolia were all chosen because they are plant names and Vlastomil likes gardening. Those names being amongst their favorite plants. While Freya’s favorite is almond grass for the smell, it doesn’t make a good baby name. 

Masha already had the name when Zira found her, but its another name I’ve personally liked for a while. If I’m being honest though she was partially named after one of the Little Sisters from Bioshock, and i had drawn her in a dress that resembles theirs. 

Vaurie was named after the Vaurie’s nightjar, a type of bird. We just thought the name was cool, and they thusly have a nightjar as a familiar, but also a jar with “night time” inside of it. Like lightning in a  bottle but much easier to catch.  

7. The children’s first words?

Lance and Mila both said “dada” and made Julian cry for hours. 

Vlastomil swears Cypress’s first word was “worm” though Freya thinks it was just him mumbling gibberish, she doesn’t have the heart to say otherwise.

Sage said “Papa”.

Magnolia said “bug”.

Zira was not around for Masha’s first words, since Masha was adopted when she was around four earth years old, but in her orphanage it was “baby”, said after looking in a mirror. 

Vaurie’s first word was “mama”, followed closely by “Ren” (said as wen), Valdemar’s parental name. 

22. What kind of people do the children grow up to be? What do they do?

Lance would grow up to be a great fighter and end up joining the royal guard. He is a very kind hearted and compassionate person, but also a bit of a smart-ass. It’s all in good fun so he tries not to take it too far, but you might just have to tell him when. 

Mila would probably take a while to figure out what she likes most. She loves magic, but running the shop seems boring to her. She likes studying medicine, but is horribly squeamish. She would probably be a “jack-of-all-trades” sort and end up doing a bunch of things. Her own business she runs becomes something of a mall, with her running all the businesses. As a person she is also very caring, but has her mothers fiery temper. She is very creative and always puts 100% into whatever she’s doing. 

Cypress would find an interest in history and Fjodr culture like his mother. He takes great pride in his heritage and is eager to tell others about it. He may even become a teacher. He was always a good student and could soak up information like a sponge, but easily explain it to others. He may end up accidentally coming off as snobbish, however, due to his blunt nature. 

Sage would have an interest in gardening and might open a flower shop/stall at the market with fresh produce. He’s sensitive, and emotionally intelligent. He is a big believer in charity, as are his siblings, and he donates food to the children on the docks often. He also gives them odd jobs to do for money.

Magnolia is very stubborn. Try telling her what to do and its a sure fire way to get her not to do something. She isn’t stupid, however, and if you tell her not to do something like sweep the floor, she gladly won’t do it and say “I’m just doing what you told me to!” Despite this, she is not a very rude person. Her stubbornness shows  mostly when she feels cheated or gets in an argument with someone. She would become something of an entomologist, as she grew up loving bugs and wanting to mess with them and learn about them. 

Masha is interested in so many things, but being in Vesuvia, a completely different world from her own, her interests went crazy! There is just... so much stuff to learn! All the time, theres something new! New animals, new cultures, new food; its so much! She finds a deeper interest in archeology and zoology. She was always interested of the animals here and in her home dimension, but after growing up a little bit and discovering old and ruined buildings she discovered a love of archeology. 

(link to the whole scenario being mentioned)

M has kept tabs on their child. Of course they did! Even if they couldn’t be involved in their life, they wanted to make sure their child was safe and happy and raised by good people. That being said, keeping track of their child is not the same as seeing them. For many years, this child has been words on paper to them, real but also more of a concept than a physical being. In person. It would be a moment of realization for them that this is a real person with thought and dreams and desires that they helped make. They wouldn’t dare approach them, but they might make a habit of stopping in that same area more often for a chance to see them again.

L, to be honest, tried their best to not remember their child. Don’t get me wrong, they love them, they love them very dearly just for existing, and have since they were born. But they can never…. Well they can never be there for them like they want to be, so they shove the memory and the feeling deep down and try their best not to acknowledge them. In person it would be much more difficult to do that. In person they can’t hide the way they choke up at the sound of their child’s voice. They’d try their best to keep their cool in public and then quietly slip away. They’d cry when no one else is around and hope the baby blanket they made is enough for a child forced to be forgotten.

So this is in reference to this ask and the entire pursuing thread of events. (Which shoutout to that one anon writing a fanfic for it) 

Okay, so I read and answered this ask as if you’d asked what would happen if the situation was reversed and L or M were the one pregnant. My bad, but I did answer the question. Now you’ve just got bonus content. Hopefully this gives some insight into them and their thought processes?

I’m putting this under a read more, because it’s a sensitive subject and also it’s long: