#chesterville

It didn't help that his thoughts for Jo weren't entirely brotherly, as much as he tried to convince himself. He saw what happened to the women that became involved with the Winchester men. He didn't want to subject Jo to the same fate as his mom and Jessica.

It was clear the girl he was looking at with the seeping neck wound and the stained collar was not the one that moved so effortlessly around the Roadhouse.

This wasn't Jo that wore the pale pink shirts and styled her hair in curls to attract tips from patrons. As much as she hated to be reminded, she was no longer the naive Jo that yearned to be a hunter and follow in her father's footsteps.

As much as Dean had admired Jo and her drive, he sometimes resented it for her. He remembered hunting the ghost of Holmes and being haunted by the thought a girl like Jo could have a different life. It was clear that was what Ellen wanted. She had a parent that wanted more for her. A mother that wasn't pushing a need for revenge.

He knew his mind was clouded from his dad's death back then. A huge part of that played in how he acted back then had created that wedge between him and Jo. Because despite her naivety, she was a good hunter despite Ellen's insistence she wasn't.

Dean knew that had he met Jo even a couple of months earlier, he would have most definitely tried to get into her pants. But after his dad's death, Dean stopped imagining a life outside of hunting. Those fleeting dreams he had of Lisa when he found out she had Ben, the possibility of him leaving a legacy, were just a fantasy.

He knew he had been in the life for too long to simply just walk away. Between seeing Bobby and Ellen, unlike his Dad's life on the road, he knew it was possible to have a base. As much as he loved Baby, even she needed rest for a while. But even the thought of having four walls as a home seemed impossible. He became resigned to hotel rooms being his stowaway home.

It was after Hell, when he didn't know know what was going on with Sam and the pressure of the angels when he truly did entertain what life could be. He had resigned to the fact hunting would always be in his Life. Dean turned to dreams to escape his realities. So he dreamed of owning a house near Bobby, of course. He could work in the junkyard and help expand the car side of Bobby's business. Dean thought he would like to work in restoration.

As business boomed, it would only make sense for Jo to be their secretary. She would do a good job of manning the phones for the legitimate business and the hunting one. He could imagine her sitting in the office with her feet up chewing someone out. As much as she would be terse and blunt it wouldn't affect business. Heck, Dean would believe it would drive up business. He would flirtily suggest that they should use her for a billboard advertisement.

He didn't know if Jo could cook, but he could imagine her cutting a piece of pie for him on his birthday with a candle burning brightly in the middle.

It was the quieter moments that provided an intimacy he could only imagine, or chased in fleeting moments with strangers, in motel rooms that had him wading in dangerous territory.

Territory that would only get her hurt in the end. He told himself it was out of respect for Ellen he had buried those feelings deep for Jo and the possibility. Besides, there was a curse attached to the Winchesters.

But in the end, it seemed none of his well wishes mattered. His choices had led her to be in that church and nearly a vampire chew toy.

Her teeth were stained with blood as she hissed. The vampire had got her good.

"It's good to see you, Dean." The tension in his body faded a bit. He hadn't heard her voice in so long and the memories didn't do her justice.

"You too, Jo." His voice was rough, but his throat was thick as he worked to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over.

He held her bloody hand the whole ride home.

Dean didn't know what to expect with Jo back in his life and vicinity.

He knew they wouldn't go back to their old camaraderie despite wanting to. He wouldn't admit that despite Cas' gentle prodding. At times, Dean wished Cas could still read minds and be blunt. He didn't care for the hippie Cas that was mindful of feelings. He knew Jo had questions. He could tell by the occasional glances they would share. If she was asking questions they were not being answered through him.

It seemed Jo was doing everything in her power not to be in close quarters with him anyways. At first, he thought she was keeping her distance to prove herself. He recalled what Ellen has said about Jo not being made for the life when they crossed paths back in River Pass, Colorado. He wondered if those small comments Jo knew Ellen made were fueling Jo to always volunteer for patrol, weapons training, and runs. Since she was cleared by Med Bay for duty, it seemed Jo didn't know how to sit still. So when they did happen to cross paths all those talks were superficial about logistics and security. They were all impersonal.

In ways, she did know him better than Cas so just the head nods and brief talks on who was taking shifts on watch were a blessing.

But even if he didn't want to think about Jo, it was damn near impossible with how much everyone gushed about her.

He heard a million times a day about how she was amazing and sweet. Easy to talk to too. The younger girls in camp loved her while the boys leered. The apocalypse did not change how she filled out her jeans. Dean shook his head. The last thing he needed was to be having those thoughts in the middle of the day distracting him.

He squinted as he looked at the camp. The camp was rapidly expanding and soon new cabins would be needed. They needed to expand their crops. Invest in more greenhouses. With the winter, they needed to get material to combat the cold. The last thing they needed was a sickness to run through their camp.

He moved along the parameter making sure everything was reinforced. All the sigils were still in tack when he came across Krissy Chambers. He never met her father, Lee. He didn't think he ever heard of a Chambers family. From the rundown he got, it did seem they were friends with Bobby. It wasn't surprising he and Sam weren't the only kids to darken Bobby's footsteps.

Just based on the backstory, it made sense that Jo and she would have some sort of hybrid mother-and-sister relationship. It was clear that Krissy admired Jo. Just from the way the teenage girl dressed and moved, he could see Jo's mannerisms in her. He knew that had to be some sort of ego boost for Jo, but he also knew the crushing weight of having someone wanting to emulate them.

"Hey, Dean," Krissy greeted.

Unlike Jo, Krissy had no problem talking to him. It took him a while to get used to her deadpan tone and to decipher when she was fucking with him and being serious. But no matter what, she was a pain in his ass with her constant challenging of him. He didn't know if he was speaking with Krissy or Jo half the time.

"Krissy," he replied gruffly.

"I need you to talk to Jo. She is acting like an overprotective mother."

Dean snorted. Oh, how have the tables turned he thought. "Why would anything I have to say matter?"

He had no weight in how Jo decided to raise Krissy. Krissy was her ward. He knew Jo was feeling the responsibility of keeping another person alive. He wasn't going to interfere with that. It wasn't his place or business.

Krissy didn't reply, but she leveled him with a look. A look he would see in Jo's eyes that she clearly inherited from Ellen. It was a look that made him squirm in his pants even as a grown-ass adult.

Dean huffed. "Fucking fine, but I'm not making any promises."

A smile came across the girl's features. The smile showcased that she was a teenager. It softened her as she trailed off to the two other new teens that arrived at camp before Jo and Krissy did. Aiden and Josephine were orphans they found living in a storage unit. They were like Krissy eager to learn and overzealous with proving their worth.

He didn't seek Jo out immediately. One, he knew she was busy working in the Med Bay. He noticed Jo was always working in different areas. She didn't have a specialty per see. She had no problem learning different skill sets to make the camp run. So the first night he didn't bother in seeking her out to have a conversation she would probably chew him out for.

On the second day he was scheduled for a run and by the time they came back two days later, he slept for 12 hours after that.

He decided before Krissy was banging on his door that he should hold up the end of his deal. He ignored Cas and Chuck's cheeky gazes as he inquired where Jo was. He noticed that Jo had become very close with these two, especially Chuck.

He wondered what the prophet was telling her, but he decided he didn't want to know. He never really inquired why Chuck didn't publish books with Ellen and Jo, or if he even wrote about them.

He made the journey to Jo's cabin which was more secluded than the rest. She had a semblance of privacy. Unlike his cabin, he was more in the center. If something were to happen he needed to be on the scene quickly.

As he made the trek through some overgrown grass, he thought maybe they should try to do some landscaping. He didn't care for the appearance of things, but with the increasing flow of kids, he knew they deserved to have some semblance of normalcy. For all intent and purposes, this was their home. No matter what he felt about it, it was about everyone else. The kids needed a home.

He wasn't going to this meeting empty-handed though. He managed to find some M&Ms and grabbed two bottles of beer. He wasn't above bribing to soften her up.

He knocked on the red door of her cabin, which was opened almost immediately. If she was shocked to see him, she didn't show it. Her blonde hair was in a messy bun. She had a grey long-sleeve shirt on with a pair of black tight-fitting jeans. She looked relaxed and comfortable. She didn't say anything as she opened the door wider to let him in.

Her cabin was vastly different from his. His cabin was used just for rest and to store weapons. He didn't have much. He prioritized just keeping the necessities.

So it was slightly surprising to see Jo's cabin. They had a loveseat with an afghan draped over it. There were books on the coffin table. He noticed a small bookshelf that had even more books and board games. He even spotted candles lining surfaces. Not just the plain unscented white, red, and black ones, but those fancy candles he would see in department stores. It smelled like cinnamon and honey.

It was homey. It was her home. It made him think of what she said when she first arrived about her traveling from place to place since the start of this. It made him wonder if she finally felt safe.

"What's up?" She asked as she spotted the M&Ms and beer.

"Housewarming gift."

Jo raised an eyebrow. "You are going to have to do better than that."

Dean passed over a beer. "Just wanted to make sure you are okay."

Jo opened her beer bottle with practice ease against her countertop. "I mean all things considered I can't complain. Are you okay?"

"Right as rain," Dean replied as he popped open his bottle of beer and took a swing.

Jo eyed him but didn't say anything. She took a sip of the warm beer and sat on her couch.

Dean tried his best to not think about the last time he shared a beer with Jo. Instead of pushing Sam away, he would've asked him to stay. Maybe even suggested, instead of just hunting between the two of them, to tag along with Ellen and Jo. Go back and help Bobby get settled in more after losing his ability to walk.

Instead, he had let Sam leave. He sulked in his motel room and licked his wounds. He had already been prepared for Jo to knock on his door. He thought he got lucky that it was her rather than Ellen. The smack he received from the Harvelle matriarch had been enough for him. He thought maybe Jo would ask where Sam was, but knowing his brother, he probably downloaded the two Harvelle women about what was going on.

It immediately had him irritated as he looked at the blonde. He remembered grabbing the offered beer from her, but his mood was already set. He was still reeling from hell and knowing he broke the first seal had him spiraling even more. Now Sam was dealing with a demon blood addiction and his dad's words were echoing in his head about how if he couldn't save his brother he would have to kill him.

So the last thing he wanted was Jo worrying about him. He didn't need her getting sucked into the Winchester family drama. So it left him more irritable especially as she smiled as she opened both of their beers and made herself comfortable on the empty bed. Because everything he touched got ruined and he didn't need Jo on the list of things he would bring ruin to.

He didn't know exactly what he said, but it was enough for Jo to look at him with angry brown eyes. She didn't slam the door on the way out, but unlike Ellen, who wished him goodbye, her daughter was nowhere to be seen the following morning as they parted ways.

"You're not ones for personal visits, Dean."

He took a swing of his beer to hide his wince. "Krissy asked me to stop by."

Jo only nodded her head. She didn't seem surprised or mad. She took a long sip of her beer. "In a weird twist of fate, I think I understand where my mom was coming from with wanting to hunt."

"You think she isn't ready?"

"Depends on what it is. She's good. She needs to learn. But with everything going on, one mistake wouldn't get her killed, but someone else."

"She wouldn't be on any serious runs. She's been doing real good on perimeter watch."

Jo smirked. "Dean, she acts like me. I'm sure I was embarrassingly cringy know it all on that first hunt."

A ghost of a smile came over Dean's lip. Sure, at the time, he had been pissed Jo had conned her way into the hunt. There were mistakes not from the tactical aspect. Clearly, she knew how to handle a weapon and was very pragmatic. She knew how to make a case file as well. He thought she could have done that for a living. He wouldn't have minded getting cases from her with how many details she put into it and catching patterns.

As with most first-time hunters, it was that tinge of cockiness. Jo had that in spades because of what she thought the job was. That urge to follow in her father's footsteps sometimes blinded them to the reality that not everyone should follow in their parent's footsteps.

"You handled yourself well. Impressed me."

Jo snorted. "I'm sure I did."

Dean played with the bottle cap. "You know I would look out for her, Jo."

"I know," Jo agreed. "But I don't want that on your shoulders."

Dean didn't know what to say about that. Maybe this was why he was avoiding Jo. She never bullshitted him. Even Cas went along with his plans and avoidance of things, but Jo wouldn't. If she had been here from the start then maybe he wouldn't be the way he was now.

He didn't have a response for her. The beer for once made his stomach feel heavy. He could feel it sloshing around. He left her cabin.

She didn't stop him.

Jo thought the camp was set up nicely. She didn't have much to compare it to as every camp she had come across got wiped out despite having walls. So the fact Dean has been able to keep a group of survivors alive and well with minimal attacks was a miracle.

On top of that, everyone seemed to be happy. There were kids laughing and playing. She would see groups of elderly knitting and gardening. There was a small school set up for education in Math, English, and even hunting.

This was a camp that would be written in the History books when hopefully this would end. Although there was the fear that maybe this wouldn't end. This was the new normal for the world. She didn't know what was worse knowing how things were before or growing up thinking things were normal.

But she was proud of Dean even if she knew that he didn't really have the option of not putting all of this on his shoulders.

This exterior Dean had built was not of the Dean she last encountered. In fact, Jo felt the only time she ever really got a glimpse of the real Dean was their first couple encounters when he admitted he was too far in his grief to flirt with her and they both admitted it was the wrong time and wrong place. But after that, in other encounters with Dean, she could see the performances he gave everyone.

And with time away, her crush for Dean had dulled. She grew up and became embarrassed by how forward she was. After all, the words that the demon possessing Sam taunted to her rang in her ears of her being a little schoolgirl that Dean only saw as a sister. The fact that Dean never called her after that incident was proof enough that she needed to grow up.

And she did. Despite what others had to say, she proved herself more than capable.

She paused in her walk around the perimeter to pull up the collar of her jacket to fight the chill. She needed to invest in a hat as her ears were getting cold.

The night was turning an inky black. Sometimes it was eerie with how dark the night could be not that there were no streetlights illuminating corners. She squinted as her eyes spotted an outline of a shape in the dying foliage surrounding the camp. She made the detour to what she deduced was an outline of a car.

More accurately the ruins of a car.

Her hand reached out and touched the frame of what she recognized as Baby. She had assumed Dean had put the car somewhere in storage. Most likely in the graveyard of metal at Bobby's place. She never expected to see the car gutted and empty.

The metal was cold and rusted. A dilapidated shadow of its former glory. Jo stuffed her hands into her pockets and resumed her walk around the perimeter.

And as much as things have changed, it seemed something hadn't as Jo watched two girls fight over some men including Dean.

Jo had already got sized up by Risa regarding Dean. She wasn't sure where that came from as Jo didn't deny that she knew Dean before through hunting, but that was all she gave away regarding any type of relationship with Dean. Nothing for Risa to feel threatened over. She had ignored Chuck's knowing eyes after that interaction. It was weird to know that he knew her before she even met him. He had written about her and Dean's first meeting and knew about most if not all of their interactions.

Although apparently what he wrote wasn't deemed good or important enough to be published.

The drama was a nice distraction. It provided a sense of normalcy from the world before.

And it was not always doom and gloom.

It was a particularly sunny day despite it leaking furthermore into winter. Jo wasn't listed for anything. She had a day off so to speak. She had found a small clearing with a picnic bench to relax on. She placed a blanket on the tabletop and relaxed.

She sighed feeling the warmth the sun was providing. She was going to miss the summer and being able to sunbathe in a bikini.

She couldn't have been laying out for more than 10 minutes when she heard the sound of boots walking towards her. She knew the person was being loud on purpose.

She knew it was Dean.

Things were different between them. She could admit with her arrival at camp she was avoiding him. She didn't really understand the reasons why. Just everything was so different and the history between them was so loaded. It was clear the Dean she knew wasn't the Dean that people knew. This Dean was colder. This Dean was a soldier.

It was easier to assimilate into the camp without being in Dean's shadow because she knew how Dean could be.

She knew he was avoiding her too so it seemed to be a mutual feeling. That was until Krissy. Jo knew she was being slightly overprotective when it came to Krissy. She knew what Krissy was capable of. Yet, as much as the girl insisted she was ready, Jo knew that Krissy was not ready for the long runs when it came to clearing out big department stores. There was more risk in coming across herds of many creatures. She didn't feel Krissy was there yet. The girl felt she had too much to prove and it could lead to mistakes. Jo knew that from experience.

She wasn't surprised Krissy had turned to Dean. Yet, somehow that had been the bridge to thaw whatever they thought was needed in not speaking to one another.

"Better be careful," Dean warned. "We don't have a stockpile of sunscreen."

Jo snorted.

The bench creaked beneath Dean's weight. She assumed he was keeping watch over her. She was sure that wasn't going to help with Risa's attitude. But Jo allowed herself to relax completely.

She liked how Dean was okay with the silence.

It was an impromptu run. As they found more people and the camp became more optimistic about the lack of accidents, they were longing for the old days. The celebrations of holidays and all the decorations that came with it. The camp needed arts and crafts essentially. Something that Dean didn't consider too much of a priority.

However, he was itching to get out of the camp. Besides, he never knew when they could come across a gold mine of goods.

With the rush of the run, it meant that he and Jo would be on the same run team. This one could only be for the most skilled people. They were going to be in and out. A quick run with no room for mistakes.

He wasn't surprised that it was all business with Jo. There was a nervous energy when they first got in his truck. Yet, Jo had slid in an REO Speedwagon CD, and the smile she had thrown him had unthawed that last piece of barrier between them.

He listened while Jo sang along with Kevin Cronin. He may have joined in on a song or two. During the run itself, he got to witness firsthand how much Jo has grown. He was telling the truth that she wasn't a bad hunter. It was clear she had the skills to be a hunter. She moved effortlessly through the store. She was able to quickly find what they needed.

He didn't have to direct or worry. He didn't have that same feeling he had on that first hunt with her in wanting to keep a strict eye on her. For some reason, he didn't know if he felt relieved or disappointed. What he did know for sure was that Ellen would be proud. He knew Ellen didn't support Jo wanting to hunt, but she was a natural. He couldn't imagine how Jo felt not having that true support for what she wanted.

But Jo was good out in the field. Better than anyone probably gave her credit for. It made him wonder if he had called Jo after Sam got possessed by Meg if things would have gone differently. He knew deep down probably not considering what the angels - God - had in store for his family. Yet, maybe the world wouldn't be in the state it was because of his circle not just being his brother. Maybe he could've shouldered the weight of the world better if he had the warmth of Jo at his side.

Dean laughed as Jo bounced over to his truck with a canvas bag under her arm. They had looted a Wal-Mart. She was proudly displaying a CD that had the Greatest Hits of Journey.

Dean didn't bother knocking as he pushed the door open to Jo's cabin. Since that run, Jo had seemed to become his number two. Even with Cas being his most trusted confidant, Dean never formally delegated he had a second in command. He didn't see the need to or maybe no one really fit the role in how he needed them to until Jo came back into his life.

That meant he needed unlimited access to his second in command. It meant more time for them together with their heads pressed together on how to really fortify the camp. How to expand and live again. Maybe Jo was thawing him a bit.

So he didn't see the point in knocking on Jo's door. They were going to have a quick meeting and she should have been there. What he didn't expect was to find Krissy and Aiden on the couch making out and hands underneath clothing.

Krissy didn't look apologetic, which almost made him snort. Aiden, on the other hand, looked as if he was going to shit a brick. It was nice knowing Dean could have some people cowering in his presence.

"Where's Jo?" He asked gruffly.

"Chuck grabbed her regarding a leaky cabin," Krissy informed him succinctly.

Dean nodded his head. He eyed the two teenagers and calculated his next move. Dean had a fondness for Krissy. She was eager to learn and be a part of the team. She had Jo's determination. He was slightly shocked that she would be making out with Aiden as she gave off an air of disinterest when it came to things outside of hunting and runs.

"How long has this been going on?" He asked looking back and forth between the two.

Krissy huffed. "Are we really doing this?"

Dean ignored Krissy's words as he turned and stared at Aiden. The kid looked back and forth from him to Krissy. "Do you want to deal with me or Jo?" Dean probed.

Aiden scratched the back of his head. "A month or so."

"Hmmm and Jo knows?"

Aiden's cheeks turn pink and he looked at Krissy for answers. Dean gathered Jo didn't know about the romantic aspect of this relationship.

"You guys having sex?"

"Dean!" Krissy yelled, her cheeks now an apple red.

"Hey, the last thing we need is an unplanned pregnancy. I can't tell you guys what to do, but you need to be safe." Dean informed them. He wasn't their parent and he was not going to try to be. He knew at the end of the day, they were going to do what they wanted in regard to this. The very least was they could be safe about it.

Krissy pursed her lips in a tight line. Aiden's leg was bouncing.

Neither seemed to want to answer. Before Dean could threaten sentry duty and maybe put them on shifts at the daycare, Jo walked through the door.

He watched as she assessed the room. "What's going on?" Her voice was cool, calm, and collected.

He looked at the two teens to give them a chance to speak, but neither seemed interested in volunteering.

Dean sighed. "Caught these two making out on the couch."

Jo raised an eyebrow. She threw a look that asked was that all. Dean wiggled his fingers indicating that their hands were definitely exploring.

Jo sighed. "Are you two having sex, Aiden?"

Dean watched as Aiden shook his head and Krissy's face turned sour.

"Aiden, I think it's best you go home," Jo said gently. "No more visits unsupervised for now."

Aiden didn't need to be told twice as he scrambled off the couch and out of the cabin. Dean was sort of confused that Krissy would be attracted to a guy like Aiden. But maybe Aiden was the soft edge she was missing in her life.

Jo kissed her teeth as she watched the boy scramble out of the cabin. "Do you have anything to say, Krissy?"

Krissy sighed deeply. "It was just kissing."

"I'm sure it was," Jo agreed. "But I don't appreciate you sneaking him into the cabin for the past two weeks."

Dean watched as Krissy turned crimson all the way down to her neck.

"We also know about the parties you teens throw in the woods," Jo added.

"That -...nothing happens there," Krissy said lamely.

"Yeah, I'm sure considering the bathroom brew Ollie makes really doesn't dull the senses." Jo countered back. Damn, Dean thought, Jo really was Ellen's daughter.

"So what's my punishment?"

"I don't know yet," Jo looked at him. "We'll have to figure something out. But for now, you can go in your room and work on the sigil assignment from class."

Dean hid his surprise at being included in this. Krissy didn't object as marched into her room.

Jo eyed the couch and scrunched her nose. "Do I even want to sit on that couch?"

Dean chuckled as he stood behind the couch. "They didn't get that far." Jo fixed the afghan on the couch and began tidying up the place. It seemed all very domestic. "You know you handled that well."

Jo paused what she was doing and looked up at him with a look of disbelief. "They weren't being as slick as they thought. Besides, I've done worst."

Dean had no doubt that Jo had done worse. He imagined how that went under Ellen's nose. "So you going to put her on sentry duty?"

"Nah, I was thinking about maybe two weeks at the daycare," Jo smirked. She stood next to him and leaned against the couch. "I mean as long as they are being careful, I'm not going too crazy about it. Considering how everything is…it's nice to know teenage hormones are still rampant in the apocalypse."

"I don't think hedonism is ever going out of style."

Jo nudged him with her elbow. "And you would know all about that, right?"

Dean snorted. Yes, the apocalypse didn't stop him from having a cold bed. He didn't think he would ever abandon his vices of alcohol and sex. At least with sex, it wasn't a selfish act with him. At least someone else was benefiting too.

He wrapped his around her shoulders bringing her to his side. "Well, at least I have you to keep me on the straight and narrow." Jo shook her head. "No one here is tempting you down the path of hedonism."

Jo rolled her eyes and he wouldn't be surprised if she saw her brain. "Be serious, Dean."

"I am. What?"

Jo shook her head. "Nothing."

Dean decided not to press her or the fact that she hadn't removed herself from his hold. He didn't want to ponder too much how she felt nice in his hold. He cleared his throat. It was time to get back to business. "So Krissy said you were dealing with a leaky cabin."

Even if they didn't keep track of the dates, Dean's body was just conditioned to know certain dates. He knew today was just November 2nd.

He knew he was in a foul mood. He had snapped at people for no reason. He was stomping around camp and people were giving him a wide berth. Worse, he could see people were hurt he had turned back into their cold, heartless leader.

But he didn't think time would ever dull the ache this day created in him.

Instead of souring the atmosphere, he marched back into his cabin. He grabbed his cache of weapons from his guns to knives. He decided to sharpen the knives and clean the guns not like he didn't do that at least every other day to kill time.

The sun was setting when he heard familiar footsteps coming up his stairs. The person didn't bother knocking as they let themselves in.

Jo walked in bringing in the cool air. She had a plate of food for him that she set in front of him. She pointedly ignored his huff of annoyance as she placed it in front of the gun parts he had laid out.

Jo took the seat opposite him. She didn't bother helping him clean his weapons. She only put her feet up on the table and leaned back in her chair. He was sure she got comments about his mood. The blonde probably got a full rundown of every misdemeanor he did today.

"I know I am an asshole, Jo."

Jo didn't disagree with his statement.

Dean clenched his jaw as he placed his gun down and looked at the dinner before him. The meals were simple. It was rice with some jerky. He took a couple of bites of the rice before he returned his focus back to Jo. She was cleaning her nails with her knife.

"Is it Sam and your Mom?"

Dean gave a broken sigh. He didn't even know at this point with his family. Everything was so complicated when it came to them. He didn't want to be a 34-year-old man crying about how he missed his mom. But he did. He didn't know what was worst the fact he still had some memories of what life was like before she died or the fact he got to meet his mother and learned she wanted out of this Life. She didn't want this for her family. Then her death propelled his dad on a path his mother fought hard to leave.

At this point, he couldn't really hold his anger at his dad for that. He could be angry about how his dad treated him and Sam. His dad took monopoly on the grief over their mom. His father acted like he was the only that lost her.

And some days he didn't know if he was jealous that Sam didn't have memories of his mom. He couldn't miss something he never had. Sure, Dean could talk about her and repeat that she loved him. But Sam only had an idea of who she was. He wasn't denying that Sam missed their mom. He knew Sam did in a way Dean wouldn't be able to understand.

"My whole family," he finally answered. Maybe that was the anger and guilt that came because he blamed his family. He tried to be the good son, the protector of Sam, and the perfect soldier for none of it to matter in the end. "You ever feel mad at your dad about being in the Life."

"Of course," Jo admitted. "Anger is a part of grieving. I still get angry. At both him and my mom."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm mad at my dad for just hunting. Mad at my mom for still operating a hunter bar, but then trying to stop me from hunting."

"But you wouldn't know the truth."

Jo clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Yeah, Catch 22, right?"

Dean hummed in agreement. "I think…I'm just mad at Sam," Dean admitted. He had been mad at his brother since he figured out he had gone to Ruby and allowed her to manipulate him to drink demon blood. He knew that Ruby took advantage of his brother. And at this point, the world was working against Sam to make the right choice. Dean knew that. He knew that Sam had been pushed to a decision that had already been set for him.

Yet, he didn't know why Sam would say yes. He didn't know why his brother would allow the devil to jump into him after everything.

"River Pass was the last time you saw him?"

Dean nodded his head. Now he felt shame and guilt because he didn't follow his dad's orders. For once, Dean wanted to be selfish with his pain. He couldn't sweep the pain of Sam's action under the rug.

"It's okay to be angry, Dean. Angry and sad. The two are like mutually exclusive."

"I'm sorry. I didn't tell you about it," he told her. He knew Cas had been the one. No one really knew about Sam. Most knew he had a brother, but most of the camp survivors didn't know the full context of how the Winchesters played a role in this new world.

Jo gave him a small smile. "Just don't be afraid to talk to me, Dean."

"I'm sorry about your mom."

Since Jo came to camp, she hadn't mentioned anything about her mom. He only got that she was gone. She never divulged the details and he wasn't going to press.

Jo went quiet as her fingertips tapped the tabletop. "I'm sorry about Bobby."

Jo moved up from her chair to give him back his privacy.

"Stay." He said before his brain realized what he had done.

"You sure?"

Dean nodded his head as he finished his dinner.

Jo stayed the rest of the night.

Dean didn't really have off days. There was something that always needed to be done. Having idle hands shouldn't be a concept. However, somehow, Cas had somehow managed to give him a couple of free hours at least once a week, on what they concluded was Sunday. He decided to ignore Cas' reasoning behind that.

He preferred not being in Cas's sex cabin so the fallen angel would come over to his cabin. They usually just played cards. The currency was candy, toilet paper, and beer. However, Dean had been weary of placing beer as a wager considering Cas' not-so-hidden pill addiction. Still, Dean did happen to enjoy those couple hours of playing cards especially as Cas did get gradually better. His poker face still sucked ass though.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Joanna Harvelle," Cas stated bluntly. They had switched to playing Go Fish of all things.

Dean picked up a card. He wasn't going to answer a question Cas already knew the answer to.

"Risa's been pissy lately too," Cas added.

Dean rolled his eyes. It wasn't even as if they were exclusive. Dean didn't want to be an asshole about things, but he never made Risa any promises. Besides, it wasn't as if he slept with every newcomer that came into the camp. He wasn't that much of a leech. "Are we gossiping now?"

Cas didn't respond as he picked up a card.

Dean scowled as a thought popped into his head. "And don't try to recruit Jo for your orgies."

Cas' lips twitched. "I'm all about consent, Dean."

Dean raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to think too deep how angels thrived off consent despite it leaning on the dubious side, but demons didn't.

"You know Dean, sometimes good things do happen."

Cas had told him those words before and Dean tried to cling to that.

But look where it got him.

Christmas came quickly and they were rewarded with a White Christmas. The kids were out laughing and having snowball fights. They were able to pick up various toys and gifts for parents to pick through for small gift exchanges. The adults were keeping watch and making sure that they kept up traditions with the decorated trees, Yule log, and Egg Nog.

Dean thought about the last time he celebrated Christmas with Sam. He knew Sam did it more for his benefit than anything. And when he came back from Hell, they didn't do anything.

Dean did partake in some of the festivities. He knew that there was a party happening for the teens and young adults. Jo had been the force behind that one as it was happening in the bar they had set up. It was basically another version of the Roadhouse. At first, he didn't see the benefit to have a bar built. Yet, it helped with morale and was a hot spot for people to wind down at.

Dean was trudging along the perimeter as he didn't have much to do. His Christmas gift was to actually have a day off as if that could ever happen. So he was making sure everyone on watch was doing their job. He was going to probably head to his cabin and drink the bottle of Jim Bean Cas had gotten him.

"I thought we told you no work today?"

Dean turned to find Jo in a new pink knitted beanie with a matching scarf courtesy of Krissy, who had also knitted him a black hat and scarf.

"Just enjoying a nice walk."

"Sure," Jo said not believing him.

"Shouldn't you be at the party?"

"Not my age group, Dean," she replied. "Besides, I need to give you your gift."

Dean frowned. "I thought we agreed to no gifts."

"And what made you think that I would listen?"

"You're a pain in my ass, Jo," he grumbled as he followed her to her cabin.

Dean tapped his snow-covered boots and quickly unlaced them. He placed them on the rug next to Jo's. She had disappeared into her room for his gift. He wandered into her kitchen hoping she had some beer. He was surprised to find a six-pack.

"Merry Christmas."

Dean turned to find Jo holding out a wrapped square present. He raised an eyebrow as he accepted the lite gift. He knew from weight and shape alone that it was a vinyl record.

Dean tore off the piece of wrapping paper and he immediately recognized the crumpling wall of the album art.

A six-pack. Zeppelin IV.

Dean smirked. All that was missing was the pizza.

"Is it still the wrong time, wrong place?" Jo asked.

Dean licked his lips as he placed the album on her countertop. He was quick as he swept Jo in his arms. He pressed a bruising kiss onto her lips, which she eagerly returned.

He repeated Cas words to himself on a loop.