Most of the time I think my cheskmayin fics and ideas have had Ayin and Hokma together before Chesed joins the polycule, but I've started thinking more of Chesed and Hokma who've cone together out of a shared grief, and ability to overcome their traumas, as well as similar things they find important (faith and trust).
And then Ayin somehow comes back inti their lives and they have to maneuver around that, figure out how to make things work without it all falling to pieces.
Hokma feeling the guilt that he thought he'd overcome, because that was back when he thought he'd never see Ayin again, and now Ayin is right here.
Ayin coming back after all this time and on the one hand he's happy, because he isn't being turned away, and that's big, that's huge, he's been thinking that'd be how things went, that if Angela didn't refuse him entry then even some of the Librarians, the old Sephirot, would barely be civil to him now that they're completely moved on from needing him.
But then there's how whenever he sees Ben and Chesed together, he now feels like he's intruding, like they were able to move on without him, and they don't need him anymore.
Maybe he even wonders if it'd be easier for everyone if he just found his own place elsewhere, with other people. Maybe that's what would be better for all of them.
I would say that it'd be a Chesed idea, but honestly? I like the thought that it's actually Ayin's former agents and even Binah who start up this mission of getting Ayin to see that he has a place to belong, and that they aren't just leaving him behind.
The assistant librarians miss their Manager, and think that it'd be way too much fun to play matchmaker for the him.
Binah thinks that he's running away again - and she isn't even wrong. Hod is delighted by the plan, because it reads like one of those idealistic love romance novels, and the City has so very few happy endings. Netzach joins in because if Ayin doesn't get his shit together, he's not gonna let him live it down.
Some of them are just on the sidelines, watching with popcorn or pretending they don't know what's going on.
Roland finds the whole thing rather sweet, really, even if two of them are still growing on him. Like moss. Or mould.
Angela feels... conflicted. Because on the one hand, this is Ayin, who created her and neglected her, but it is also the same Ayin who recognised her and praised her. On the other hand it is Hokma, who is also Benjamin, who always treated her as a person no matter what, and Chesed, who she hurt, no matter if it was for the script or not, and...
...and perhaps, just a little, it feels strange seeing them dance around their feelings toward each other like children when she's only ever seen them act as adults around her. One of the assistants says that it's gotta be like watching your parents flirt, and the idea disgusts her until she realises that no, that's exactly what it feels like.
Ayiin gradually coming to realise that this is his place, his home, and that Benjamin only came to care about Chesed the way he has because Chesed could understand his priorities... because Daniel wouldn't have been so betrayed if he hadn't cared about him so much.
