#cheezzzi

Tried looking for the owner of this art I referenced for lil remy but I couldn't find them, so if anyone knows who it is please tell me :')

Here's the og piece, there's a name at the bottom but I can't read it well and I don't even know if it's a user handle or on what platform :'D

König is DEFINITELY a cocky little shit (well... he's not very little but yk what I mean). He would not miss an opportunity to try and "teach you the ropes".

Imagine him trying to teach you how to hold the gun correctly in the middle of the game only for him to get hit by a paintball? He'd probably pause, and slowly look down at the paint now on his clothes with the driest, most unimpressed look. Judging the splatter so hard like it insulted him and his entire bloodline of ancestors, while you're trying to hold back a cackle because god help you if you make fun of him on something he prides himself on.

Bonus point if it's on the back of his head so it hits his oh so precious hood and then he'll later grumble about how acrylic paint is so hard to get out of fabric or something... as if he doesn't have at least five other shirts he's cut up into hoods...

But he'd also be so freaking sweet. Like yes he's trying to show off, but he'd also want to have fun with you because, well... it's a date. He'd probably try to protect you somehow. Like this whole idea started with my treacherous brain imagining König in his sniping nest and AAAAAAAAA kicking my feet just thinking about this.

Lemme share the feet kicking material,

Imagine that at the paintball game (I'm imagining this as woodsball), König would make a sniper nest or something. He'd pull you along with him, of course, you're there together. As you both lay there hidden in the nest, watching out for enemy players, he'd pull you as close as possible –like, you're "under his arm, side stuck to his, never felt warmer" type of close. And since you both gotta keep quiet not to get discovered, he'd probably be whispering so close to your ears.

Let me just go bury myself in the concrete of the wall that witnessed me write this.

Also while writing that last part my brain kept going off on me about how realistically König would very much be touch averted (or however you say that) and he would not like to be that close to someone... but then I told my brain to shut up and let itself dream saur.... enjoy lol

The "always being a sniper" thing can maybe be a parallel to always being alone and misunderstood for König -more on that in a bit.

It's like, König has always been a "lone sniper". He's used to being the only one in his head, always used to looking out for himself on his own, never could let his guard down... and then comes the spotter he's paired with -he'd probably be annoyed by it. Maybe like "another one?" type of thinking.

But then they'd go on their first mission together. This time König can focus on his shot instead of having to juggle between precision and watching his own back. Now there's someone to fill that gap in for him. Maybe he eventually gets more comfortable around this spotter because for the first time someone is focusing on the man they're working with instead of focusing on the height and the hood and how intimidating he can be.

Bonus points if on one mission something makes them switch where König has to spot instead. Bonus bonus point of it's during conflict between König and reader -basically when König was a sniper he was "alone" and reader being the spotter meant they were trying to "figure König out" (like spot him Imao). So now that they switched roles, they switch perspectives too: now König is trying to figure reader out, while reader feels alone because of the conflict between them.

Extra bonus bonus point for using this thing I discovered called a "sniper log book" or something along the lines. Basically, it's to log the precision of the shot during what type of weather and visibility and stuff like that, so the sniper can adjust their rifle accordingly. It's like reader kept writing König's "history" in that log in a way to try and figure König out. AND when König is spotting and he has to log reader's shots it's the first time he has to actually try and figure someone out instead of running away.

Man the braincells are fighting eachother today...

So like picture me this: you and König are already in a relationship, right? Right.

You're coming down the stairs or coming out of a room and you spot your hunk of a boyfriend sitting there on the couch, just doing something absolutely mundane like, idk, watching the TV or having a snack.

And he looks so. stinking. CUTE. How? How can this 6 foot something guy look so adorable while doing something so mundane? Him and his stupid blue eyes and his stupidly adorable way of looking at everything... jee...

So, you're here, he's there. You're staring at him from behind the couch, stuck in place a couple of feet away, feeling the affection build into cuteness agression and then it's just agression.

You sneak up on him, and once you're close enough you bite him. On the shoulder, pushing the neck of his shirt away so you can reach the soft skin near his shoulder blades.

And even though, lord help him, you've done this a million times before... you still manage to catch him off guard. This... highly trained military man. And he lets his guard so well around you, that you manage to pull this off all the time.

At first he's just whining about it. For exactly 5 seconds, before he decides enough is enough..

He catches you by the shoulders and pulls, making you fall forward onto the couch with him, laying there under him... and thus starts a play fight.

Have you ever won one of these play fights? Well, no... but he does give you a minute or two to try before he traps your arms and gets his revenge by biting your cheek.

Welp... there goes a productive afternoon. Lost to the fact that both of you are dorks who can't just squeeze eachother in hugs and say something oh so cheesy like "I love you" or something. No, why would you? Obviously.

You wanna know why it doesn't make sense? I'll tell you why. People with dark hair/light eyes or light hair/dark eyes SUPPOSEDLY (from my research) are most commonly from either the Solomon Islands, or Northern and Eastern Europe.

You know where the UK is located? NEITHER IN THE SOLOMON ISLANDS, NOR IS IT IN NORTHERN AND EASTERN EUROPE. IT'S IN WESTERN EUROPE.

And while I won't rule out the fact that sometimes there's that ONE special case... hear me out.

In that scene we can see that the lighting is very orange, very dim. Okay? Keep that in mind... pls :')

Throwing any explanation of colour theories or light colour theories or whatever out the window because I'm not an expert on that, I present to you: albinism.

People with albinism typically have eyes that appear this pale red due to a lack of pigment or melanin or whatever. Under specific lights. Keep up.

Put that pale red (which is basically a lack of colour because the pale red is there due to the blood behind the iris being visible, which is BASICALLY like a blank canvas) under orange light and you can imagine what colour you get: BROWN. DUN DUN DUUUUUN. Or light brown. I think... yeah.

So yeah basically I'm saying Simon maybe, possibly, just in theory, has albinism.

Either Simon is a special case or Simon is a... special case also. Ghost is just a special case either way ig.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.