#cheese machine

Cheese loves Chocolate. 

Coulson loves Fury, Rhodes, Trip.

Yessss. Phil looks like the good cop but he has questionable impulse control and likes having fun too much to be the good cop ALL the time. Or even some of the time :p.

I feel like SHIELD was something that grounded Phil, so in a world without SHIELD you have Phil going straight from being a cocky Ranger to being a secretly cocky cop. 

And like, poor Rhodey gets stuck with him, and at first its great because Phil plays by all the rules, but then he gets comfortable around Rhodey and the kid gloves come off. 

He's still a good cop, and he still wears his suits and does his paperwork, but he'll do whatever it takes to get the job done. 

Rhodey groans about it, but I feel like he would be pleased by the fact that they actually catch the bad guys most of the time, even if he feels like he's going to die every time he gets in the passenger seat with Phil driving. 

Things I see them arguing about:

food

sports

protocol 

paper work/work

who is the better driver

beer

movies 

"No." Phil pauses and gives James a questioning glance. "You are not allowed to drive." 

"I always drive though." Phil reaches into his coat pocket and frowns when he doesn’t find his keys. When he looks up he sees them dangling from James’ hand. "Give me back my keys Rhodes."

"No. I am never, ever letting you drive again. You ran through three red lights, clipped another cop car," James’ arms are in the air, and his voice is in hysterics. "And you drove through a fucking building! Cheese you do not drive through fucking buildings!" 

"Well we caught the guy’s didn’t we? I just took a short cut." James takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and Phil takes the opportunity to steal back his keys. 

"Aren’t you supposed to be the one that’s by the rules?" Phil shrugs, but that seems to only infuriate James more."You’re supposed to follow protocol not drive through buildings like some James Bond wannabe!"

"Are you done yelling at me know, because I’d really like to get something to eat." Phil sits in the car, starts the engine, and waits for James to join him. He waits a good thirty seconds before James opens the door and sits beside him with a huff. 

"You’re fucking crazy, and I get to pick out where we eat. None of that deep dish shit you call pizza." Phil nods, because he can agree with the crazy part. 

"I wouldn’t insult a Chicago man’s pizza James."

HDM au - after defrosting, Steve’s daemon has the sniffles. Cheese Machine trying to have a date and Tony ringing them claiming he’s dying.

Steve startled when besides him Ari sneezed. 

"Are you alright?" His daemon glared at him slightly from her spot, her feathers ruffling and her talons digging into the SHIELD issued desk chair. 

"No. I am not alright," Steve moved to get up, but the glare sent his way made him decide to sit back down. He's been on the other end of Ari's talons several times and super soldier or not, it was still painful. "You had to get our sorry asses stuck in ice, and I have a cold." 

"It's not like I did it on purpose." Ari opened her beak to probably call Steve an idiot again, but all that came out was another violent sneeze. "I really am sorry Ari, for what its worth.

"Yeah yeah," Ari looked less irritated and more fond, and Steve figured he was partially forgiven when Ari flew over to perch on his shoulder. "It's just my luck that the human I got stuck with has a big heart." 

Steve smiled and scratched under Ari's chin, and for a moment he could forget the fact that his whole life had changed.

...

Rhodey cringed when the obnoxious sounds of Tony's ringtone filled the restaurant. Besides him Sam whined and put her pawn over her head. 

"James, I thought you told me Stark was going to be too preoccupied to interrupt?" Phil wasn't usually one to show much emotion out in public, and sometimes Rhodey even had a hard time knowing what the man was thinking, but at the moment it was clear that Phil was angry. 

"I"ll tell him off, then turn off my phone, promise." Phil rolled his eyes and ignored Rhodey in favor of looing at the menu. 

"Tony this had better be good or so help me..."

"I'm dying Rhodey."

"Tony..." Rhodey felt the begining of a familiar Tony Stark shaped headache forming. 

"Well I'm not actually dying, though the thought of you on a date with Agent of all people may cause me to go into shock, and oh god I bet you he's a kinky son of a bitch I mean have you seen his..."

"Tony. This. Has. Better. Be. Good." Rhodey looked over at Phil, expecting a sympathetic look, but was not actually shocked to see the other man trying to hide his smile behind his menu. 

"Well excuse a guy for being interested in his friend's dating lives." There was a sound like an explosion in the background. "Right, life and death. So I think I may be trapped inside my lab, and Pepper is in New York, and I may need rescuing." 

"Do you have your suit?"

"Yes, of course I do."

" Then no."

"What?"

"You heard me. No." Rhodey hung up the phone and turned it off, and was glad that he had refused to bye a StarkPhone, knowing Tony would have been able to hack it somehow. 

Phil's own phone started playing obscene moaning sounds. Apparently, he was not so lucky in his decision to buy the latest StarkPhone.

"Stark, have I ever mentioned the fact that I own a very nice taser?"

Tony said something that caused Phil to have a pained look on his face, one that Rhodey suspects he has had on his own many times. 

"Fine, but I'm expecting something nice for this." Phil hung up his phone, and for a few seconds Rhodey wondered if Phil was going to smash it into the table. "Let's go rescue the idiot." 

The cabin was rough and that was being generous. The weather report had said snow so they’d prepared, just in case. Wood for the stove, inventory of rations they’d had with them and canned food that seemed to be left there for hunters and skiers and hikers that happened to end up this far in. But for all that, Rhodey still hadn’t expected the snow to cover the windows completely by morning. 

He moved into the main room to see Phil fiddling with the radio. “I’m not getting a signal.” The defeat in his voice made Rhodey smirk. If there was one thing this man was not good at, it was being idle. “I should put more wood on the fire.”

"Let it sit. God only knows how long we’ll be here and I sure as hell am not going out there to get more wood." Rhodey tossed a blanket from the beat up old couch toward Phil. "Marcus is going to be pissed he missed this."

That got a laugh and Phil moved to the couch, watching the fired under Rhodey sat down next to him. Slowly, inch by inch they ended up curled up together. “He hates the cold.”

"So do you, Cheese."

"Well yeah…" He dragged the word out before lifting his head and pressing a soft kiss to Rhodey’s lips. "But this way you don’t have to keep us both warm."

"I wouldn’t mind. You know that too."

"I do."

Rhodey smirked before pinning Phil to the couch. “This is for your own good.”

"Mm. Of course it is." Phil pulled the blanket up over Rhodey’s shoulders before kissing him again. "Nobody should have to go outside in that mess to get more firewood."

Cheese Machine