#cheery things

@zacksfairest @soartfullydone

[lies down so hard I clip through the floor]

And the kid goes, “HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY, THEN!”

And the teacher flips her shit because “Well, hold on, Peter, there’s nothing happy about Good Friday. It’s the saddest day in the Catholic calendar.”

And fucking first grade Peter goes, “Happy Saddest Day in the Catholic Calendar!”

POWERPOINT DIDN’T COME OUT UNTIL 1987 WHICH MEANS THAT THE POWERPOINT SLIDE TRANSITIONS IN STAR WARS CAME FIRST.

and I’m kinda grumbly because I hate it when people come in that close to close--I’m trying to finish up all my closing tasks and mop and finish dishes and put snacks away and you want me to make you tea which makes more dishes ugh get out--but they’re really excited! and nice! and so I’m like “aight, you’re allowed to be here 20 minutes before close I forgive you”

and then the lady is like “I need...chocolate tea. Because Reasons.” And her husband is shaking his head and he just stares at me deadpan and goes, “she won’t shut up about chocolate tea it’s been a Thing all day”

So we get her her chocolate tea and she turns to her husband and goes, “You’re getting something too.” And he’s like, “I am?” and she’s like, “Yes, come on.” And he just stares at the wall and goes, “there’s too many.”

So he turns to me and he’s like, “what’s your name, I’ll look for your magnet and just have whatever is your Choice!”

and I was like “welp. I ....still don’t have a magnet. the coworker who makes the magnets is on vacation. But if I did have a magnet, it would be on this one, this one, or this one and here’s why.”

and anyway, we pick a tea and he’s like “You decide if it’s hot or iced, I blindly trust you, surprise me” and I’m like “welp, okay then”

So I’m making their tea, and I have Pandora on in the shop because it was just me and Zero customers for an hour so I’m blasting Bastille Radio, and then Sail by awolnation comes on and the lady bursts out laughing and just grabs her husband and they start waltzing around the teashop to Sail.

And it’s fucking adorable.

So, I finish their tea and go hand it to them and they’re like, “we’ve been looking at all the teapots and mugs and trying to pick out which one the other one of us likes best.”

And was I like, “sorry what”

and she was like, “Well, I think he likes this one or this one best.” and he was like “And I’m pretty sure she likes this one best.” and they both laugh because they were both wrong, but not by much. and then he turns to me and he’s like “which one is your favorite?”

so I tell them and we start chatting about teaware and stuff and then he asks me how I knew he’d like the tea I recommended for him and how I recommend teas, so I took him through my Narrowing Down process and he was, like...genuinely interested in how we match tea to people and it was A Good Convo, and then he looks at his wife and he’s like, “I need to spend 30 bucks so I don’t pay off the house tonight.”

and she was like “you’re not spending it on me!”

and I was like “uuuhhh this seems like a you problem?”

and he was like “okay, so I have enough money to pay off my house, but if I do that, then I won’t have money for food, so I need to spend just enough money to discourage me from paying for the house until the next paycheck. So I’m going to get this bowl she thought was my favorite but wasn’t and then I’m going to buy her some tea.”

and she was like “no, you’re not”

and he was like, “yes, I’m buying you a pound of tea.”

and she was like, “that’s wayy too much.”

and he was like, “you’ve done nothing but talk about how you are staying away from chocolate and sugar, and this tea is chocolate tea but it’s not sugar so you can actually enjoy it, so I’m getting you some.”

and she was like, “not a pound, dear god”

So they got four ounces of chocolate tea and the bowl that wasn’t his favorite but she thought was, and while they were paying, he was like, “sorry, you probably want us to leave, since we’re keeping you here.”

and I was like, “you have 3 more minutes until close, which means you are not keeping me here, and tbh you’re my favorite customers I’ve had all week, so it’s really not a big deal, you guys are adorable and great and I would not even be mad if you were keeping me late.”

and they were super cute and walked out holding hands and I went back to finishing up closing and it took me 40 minutes and it was awful, but I didn’t even care because they were waltzing to Sail and it was so great and I’m so glad these two people exist, they were so nice and awesome.