#checkinguponmahmen

Co-written with @HisLeelanNalla.

Nalla: *I wake up after I don’t know how long, feeling rested enough to get on with things. But before I go back to Uncle Wrath’s office to try to dive into paperwork again, I need to check up on my family. I slide out of bed, being careful not to wake up my sleeping hellren as I disentangle myself from him. I shower quickly and dress, then go down the hall to my parents’ suite and knock on the door softly.* Mahmen? Are you awake? @BellaAhgony

Bella: *It was getting a little harder for me to wake up in the mornings these last few days. I’m dreaming about my childhood growing up with Rehv and remember all the good times we had. He had always been there for me, from the time I could walk, when I scraped my knee, falling off my bike, to my first crush, then my first breakup. I shook my head laughing at that last one. Oh man, were the parents of that male furious when he came home with a broken arm. 

A knock at the door, breaking my daydreaming as I got up from the bed wearing a t-shirt and some yoga pants. #Zsadist had already been up and showered as it seems if the indication of the warm mist in the room was evident. Opening the door, I find my daughter.* Hey, Nalla.

Nalla: *I hadn’t seen my mahmen since Dad had taken her out of the Clinic just after he’d told us about Uncle Rehv. She looked a little pale and worn out, though I knew Dad had to have been trying to make sure she ate and took care of herself, like LW had been doing with me. I open my mouth to say something, but as grief rears up to choke me, I find myself stepping forward and just wrapping Mahmen in a tight hug instead first. After a minute, I step back with a sniffle and give a watery smile.* Hi Mahmen. How are you holding up?

Bella: *I felt a little more energy seeing Nalla. I wanted to be more put together around her but as she came to me in a tight hug … I found myself tearing up slightly after having thought I had no more. 

After a few moments, she thoughtfully asked how I was feeling. How was I feeling? After spending decades with my brother and now having him gone … it was heartbreaking. I thought of Ehlena and how she must be feeling as well and knew that we weren’t alone in our grief.*

I’m feeling ok. It’s been hard … but it's that way for all of us. Come, let's go down to first meal with the family. It’s been a while.

Nalla: *I’m a little surprised by her suggestion at first, but then I realize how much sense it makes. I’d been thinking we might hang out in her and Dad’s suite for a while, talking or watching a movie or something, spending some time together just the two of us. But we’d just had our world seriously shaken up, and maybe doing something normal would help us regain our balance a bit. And surrounding ourselves with family, people who love us and have always been there for us will help too. I smile softly and kiss her cheek as I wrap an arm around her shoulder.* Great idea Mahmen! I wonder what the doggen have cooked today ...

Bella: I’m sure #Fred has something delicious prepared as always. I have to admit, having someone else cook for you is always better. I have to admit, I burned a few pans back in my day when I lived in my cottage across from your Aunt Mary. *I chuckled thinking about the phone calls from my big brother when the smoke alarm sounded and the idle threats to either come home back to his home or for him to send me a permanent doggen. I rolled my eyes at the age old arguments. Then, swallowed my tears knowing that I wouldn’t hear him yell at me anymore.*

Then, we can go see Aunt Ehlena and the cousins to see what needs to be done. Hmmm?

Nalla: *Smiles* And that’s why you never helped out when Auntie Beth managed to get around #Fritz to give us kids cooking lessons! *I wrap an arm around your waist when I see the sadness fall across your face again, knowing what you were thinking. No more nagging, overprotective big brother … no more Uncle Rehv.* Yeah, we should definitely go see Auntie Ehlena and her young. She and Maddy, especially, both have a lot resting on their shoulders right now… *I drop my arm as we walk through the door of the dining room and look around to see who else is there.*

Bella: *We were the first ones to arrive as the doggen set our the food on the tables and counters. They had prepared lamb with vegetables, @PurebredMthrFkr’s favorite. I hoped he would come down and dine with us. He’s been really preoccupied lately with all that’s been going on. I don’t blame him … and I hoped he didn’t blame himself either. The only one to blame was the #Omega. 

I grabbed a plate and started to place various dishes on my plate. I knew if I didn’t than #Zsadist would promptly do so, being the protective male that he is. I wonder what he was doing at the moment. As soon as I sat down at the table, I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text about First Meal and that I missed him.*

Nalla: *I fill a plate and sit next to mahmen, noting that Dad and LW are both absent. I don’t know where Dad is, I didn’t hear him in the room when mahmen had opened the door-hopefully he’s following his son-in-law’s example and getting some rest. Goodness knows everyone could use a break around here! I decide that if LW doesn’t make it down here during the meal, I’ll make up a plate to take up to him. Try to make sure he eats something this evening - and maybe feeds too. Stubborn ass ... But in the meantime, I smile and chat with mahmen and everyone else that was there. 

Bella: *My plate is filled with all kinds of delicious food I’m sure the doggen have prepared … but I could not taste anything. I took a few bites and tries to avoid any conversations and just listened. I wasn’t sure where Zsadist was … but then again I’ve been in my own world the last few days. 

It was so difficult for me not to wallow in my heartbreak, I missed my brother. I tried to take a deep breath and concentrate on the conversations around me so I could avoid retreating into my thoughts again.

Nalla: *As I refill my plate, I notice that Mahmen isn’t really saying much. I look over and see that she has a thoughtful, kind of faraway look in her eyes. I know she’s got to be thinking of Uncle Rehv, as I am. How could she not be? Then she seems to snap out of it, looking around and seeming like she’s trying to focus on what’s going on around us. I reach out and squeeze her hand.* How are you doing, Mahmen?

Bella: *I squeeze Nalla’s hand in comfort.* I’m fine. *I lied and smiled and turned to pay more attention to Mary and Rhage’s conversation about what happened with Mary’s session with Lyric. I needed to try and focus on the present and with the people that I could help. I turned to Nalla with a sudden idea.* 

Nalla, you should visit with Lyric. You guys played together so much, almost 24/7, when you guys were little.  I know she will probably not remember you since she was a baby. *It was beyond a long shot since Lyric was so young but perhaps someone closer to her age would bring some kind of memory back.*

Nalla: *I can tell that mahmen is just BSing me when she says that she’s ok, but I let it go for now. Sometimes the comfort of a lie is all that gets you through, even if you know it’s a lie. “Fake it till you make it” and all that. I say nothing as she turns back towards Uncle Rhage and Auntie Mary, but then she turns back to me and blurts out an idea about me visiting with Lyric. 

“Hmmm … that’s an idea. I mean, I don’t know how much good it might do since like you said she probably doesn’t even remember me at all, but I’m happy to do whatever I can to help her. I’ll talk to Auntie Mary about it. 

Bella: Good. *I replied knowing it may be a lost cause but who knows … Scribe knows we could use more miracles after all the heartbreak. I thought back over the years with all the family has been through. All the losses and it made it hard to breathe. I picked up my plate and delivered it to the sink to the doggen’s dismay and excused myself and left the dining room to make my way through the foyer and out the vestibule doors. 

I needed to get fresh air and take steady breaths to prevent myself from breaking down. It’s been a long few nights and I knew it may just be the beginning with all the new changes coming. We all needed to be strong and pitch in.