#cheating bastard

My bio dad claims that I am either from mum's ex husband or her now (but used to be before) boyfriend. Not only does the timing not make sense but they and mum have blue eyes.

Simple explanation: the gene for blue eyes is b and brown is B. Blue is recessive so it needs to be "bb" in order to present, brown on the other hand only needs 1 to present so it could be homozygous dominant (BB) or heterozygous dominant (Bb). Either way if there's a B it's gonna be brown.

Bio dad has brown eyes (and so are his parents) so he's BB, mum is bb because she's got blue eyes.

A simple punnet square would look like (not screenreader friendly)

B | B

b| Bb| Bb

b| Bb| Bb

So there is absolutely no chance I would have mums blue eyes. Furthermore, if I was either stepdads or her ex husbands, I'd have fucking blue eyes.

pairing: Bjorn Ironside x Y/N

Summary: you are the wife of Bjorn Ironside, the cousin of Harald Finehair and the Queen of both cities, you loved your husband more than anything, however, Bjorn is what Bjorn is, you caught your husband cheating and now, you must make a statement.

warnings: cheating, murder.

word count: 1302

You are not just a queen, you are the queen, supported by king Harald Finehair, married to Bjorn Ironside, loved by the people of Norway, admired by warriors, two summers since you’ve been married, two summers and you gave him a true heir, with another on the way, yet, it was never enough for your beloved husband.

He looks at every other girl in the room, he’d flirt whenever you take your eyes off of him, you weren’t ugly, you were beautiful, everyone praised your grace, you weren’t stupid, you were smart, Ivar the boneless himself valued your intelligence, your company was entertaining, your stories were delightful, but Bjorn… he’s always searching for everything but you.

The two of you married of love, or at least, that’s what it was two summers ago, Bjorn proposed, after divorcing his wife Gunnhild, you told him you’d agree if your uncle, Harald, would, and with your marriage, the two kingdoms were reunited once and for all.

Bjorn was much like Ragnar, curious, never wanting to settle down, he’d get a woman, get bored, and change her like she was a toy, but on your wedding day he swore, he swore that he’d never do anything to hurt you, he swore that you’re his one true love, the woman that matches his soul, so much for keeping a vow that he made to you and to the gods.

You’ve been distrusting him for a while now, wanting anything to prove you wrong, the way he was talking to that slave woman, the way he looked at her, the sparkle in his eyes, you were familiar with that, he used to look at you with the same spark, it was nothing strange when you asked one of your most trusted men Nye the Brave, to follow Bjorn around and confirm your suspicions, and it was no surprise when he returned and told you that your beloved husband was fooling around with the slave.

You could endure many things, but cheating wasn’t one of them, you ordered your men to kidnap them both and tie them for you, they did, you put them in a cave, tied with no escape for two days, then you paid them a visit, with your men, you motioned to Nye to remove their blindfold and gags when they did, Bjorn looked at you shocked and confused.

“Y/N, you came to free us?” he asked, still unable to process why his wife was there, with her guards “No dear husband, I’m the one who brought you here, I hope the men fed you well and treated you like… well, like a king” you smiled sinfully, Bjorn’s eyes were filled with confusion and anger, why would his wife do that to him? She loves him! He loves her too! Part of him does.

“What’s the meaning of this?” he demanded, the woman started begging for forgiveness immediately, but one glare from you, made her as quiet as a rat, “I would ask you the same thing, Bjorn, I gave you everything a man could ever want, yet, here we are, I should’ve listened to Harald’s warnings about you, Ironside, or should I say… Iron dick? I gave you love, a family, wealth, and a kingdom, what else do you need to be given you greedy bastard?” you said, calm, yet agony was already in your voice.

“Y/N, I…” you interrupted “you’re nothing Bjorn! Nothing! You are a man who can’t keep a promise! And a man who can’t keep a promise is nothing! My father warned me about men like you, thinking they are smarter than everyone else like everyone owes them the world, you are only here because you climbed on your father’s reputation! A bad king, a reckless Viking, a neglecting father, and an unfaithful husband, tell me where’s the honor in that?” you spat on the floor.

Bjorn looked down ashamed of himself, you glanced at the slave girl who was sobbing, and motioned for your guards to bring her to you, you examined her well, then looked at Bjorn “tell me, what is that has and I don’t?” you asked as you glimpsed at him again, he mumbled something but you couldn’t hear it “the queen asked you a question” Nye said as he kicked Bjorn in the stomach, your husband fell of the ground grumbling.

“Nothing, she has nothing more than you!” you approved “you’re right” Nye handed you a blade and you stabbed the woman in the heart, Bjorn watching you the whole time horrified, “I told you what I would do if I find you with another” you reminded him of your many, many, warnings, the guards picked Bjorn up and forced him to stand then took off his pants, Bjorn tried to fight them but they were stronger, they were bigger.

“Y/N! This is insane, I demand you to stop! I’m your husband! The father of your children! Think about our son, Torvald, what will you tell him?” he said, panic in his eyes, you smirked and held the knife closer to his private member, “Y/N, I love you” he said frantically, you made a big cut near his dick that made him squeal “here is your only warning Bjorn Ironside, if I ever glance at you looking at a woman, I’ll cut it off whole, and this time, you won’t find mercy from me” your men left him on the floor, to suffer and bleed.

The eyes of his scared, dead mistress haunting him everywhere, beautiful, yet she crossed her lines with you, that you cannot allow, “my queen, shall we help him?” one of your men asked, you shook your head no “take me back home at once, husband needs time to think of his action, I’d kiss you goodbye, but I fear it’s hard for me to lean down with our second child in my stomach” you wrapped your arms around your bump and with that, your guards led the way back to Kattegat.

“My queen?” you heard a manly voice, you sighed “yes Nye?” you questioned, “why didn’t you follow with your threat?” he asked confused “because my dearest friend, Bjorn Ironside is still, the father of my child, and the one to be born, he doesn’t deserve mercy, I’m aware, but what’s at stake is more important, our people rely on this alliance, many Norwaygien’s will die in vain if I start a war” he nodded understandingly, you laughed a little “people dying because Ragnarsson couldn’t keep his cock in his pants, so his wife solved the problem” you laughed again.

You were never fond of violence, if things could be solved with no blood, you’d do it, you truly cared about the people, and your sons’ rights to rule both the kingdoms.

Two days later, Bjorn Ironside returned to the main hall, limping, bloodstains all over his pants “Bjorn!” Ubbe said as he rushed to help him, you were on your throne, with your son on your lap, you carried him and went to your husband “call in the healer!” you ordered, leading Bjorn and Ubbe to your bedroom that once belonged to King Ragnar himself.

The healer came and treated his wounds, he had more than the ones you caused him, your husband passed out of pain right after drinking mead and medicine, when he woke up, his brothers were there, so were you, worried about him “how are you feeling husband?” you asked, he looked at you without replying, you were worried about his state, but didn’t forgive him quite yet, he nodded “what happened Bjorn?” Ubbe asked him, he took a deep breath “my own foolishness brother, my own foolishness” his eyes focused on you as if he’s waiting for your next move.

“No, that makes you look like a middle-age housewife,” Ava said, and draped herself over the chair, nose scrunched in distaste. “Nope. Definitely not.”

“I AM a middle aged housewife,” Judy pointed out, and looked down at the dress. It was a lovely blue. It did look a little frumpy. “It’s a pretty color?”

“For a tablecloth, it’s perfect,” Ava said, and pointed imperiously at the changing room. Judy went. “You are on a romantic Parisian vacation. You should not look like a tablecloth!”

“You’re my husband’s mistress!” Judy yelled out of the changing room. “Why do you even care?”

“I was your husband’s girlfriend,” Ava yelled back, but Judy could hear her laughing too. “Now I am your coconspirator, and you are going to have some fun on this trip if it kills us both!”

“Death doesn’t sound fun!”

“Depends on how you go about it. Are you changed yet?”

She was, but Judy was definitely not sure she wanted to go out in public wearing the next dress. 

The front was fine, demurely high. 

The back plunged almost low enough to show her ass. 

“Hurry up! We have eighteen more dresses to try!”

Maybe this dress was fine after all. 

“It’s not fair,” Judy grumped as she stepped back out of the changing room, skirts gathered in her hands so she didn’t trip over them. “You look perfect in anything.”

“Oh,” Ava was just a little breathless when Judy stepped out of the changing room. “We might just have a winner.”

“I’m not sure I like showing this much skin.”

“The back is amazing.”

“It doesn’t have a back! And why do you care?”

“Because you don’t,” Ava said, and stood to circle her. “And anyone who can deal with finding her husband’s mistress in her bed, should have something pretty for formal night. Turn.”

Judy turned. She had to admit, the dress was stunning. It was an odd shade of rich red that somehow shimmered gold when the light hit it. Red crystal beads lined the hem and glittered brightly.

“You need heels,” Ava said, and lunged for the nearest rack of shockingly expensive designer shoes. “That dress needs heels. Your butt needs heels.”

“My butt does not need heels,” Judy muttered rebelliously. “I don’t like heels, Ava.”

“Is it because they’re pretty and you’re embarrassed to be stunning, or because they make your feet hurt?”

“I’m not embarrassed of anything but the no-back of this dress!”

“Embarrassed. Gotcha. Heels it is. Hike up your skirt.”

Ava was taking no prisoners, and returned with gold heels in hand. 

There was no way Judy could run for it, wrapped in beaded silk. She hiked up her skirts and let Ava fasten one heel, and then the other over her feet.

“How are you so good at this?” She asked as Ava steadied her. “The fashion stuff I mean.”

“I’m a designer,” Ava admitted with a smile. “There, done. I specialize in formals. You know, I’d kill to have a model like you. Do you know how great your measurements are?”

“Uh,” Judy said, not sure how to take that. “Thanks? I eat healthy and like rock climbing.”

“You should model for me. I want to make stuff for you. Jewelry. You need jewelry.”

“What? No!”

Ava went for the jewelry counter, and Judy took a minute to admire herself in the mirror. 

She wasn’t sure she could walk, but she sure looked pretty. 

“Gold or red?” Ava returned, trailing a dazed-looking salesman and holding two necklaces. “I like the gold better.”

“Me too,” Judy admitted, and tried not to laugh at the poor salesman. Ava was a solid twelve on a bad day, and she wasn’t having a bad day. Poor guy. 

“There,” Ava said, and fastened it around Judy’s neck after thrusting the other necklace at the salesman. “You were perfect already, and now you’re sparkly too. I would sleep with you.”

“I’m not looking for a boyfriend!”

“Well, more for me. My last boyfriend was an ass.”

“Your last boyfriend is my husband!”

“Yup. And he’s a cheating bastard. Go buy that dress. We still need to get your hair done.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?!”

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Between Us Girls:

Sometimes a cheating husband gets more than they expect, and true love figures itself out along the way.

Surprises Abroad

The Red Dress

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Fantasy Masterlist

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I don't want to be crying into your shirt.

I don't want to be questioning if we should still be doing this.

I never ever wanted this.

I wanted you

I wanted us