#cheap crafting

So when my desk chair was pathetically coming apart in 2020 (that’s 3 years ago), I decided I wanted to reupholster it properly. I knew how. Life is demanding, and I am an advanced procrastinator, so that’s why today, I reupholstered that chair.

Now, for anyone familiar with upholstery work, this is a laughably small task. For anyone else, this is kind of a cheap little chair. “Why put effort into it when you could just buy a new one?” Well that would just be wasteful, wouldn’t it?

I think I’m pretty happy with this silly little thing.

Before and after pics:

This was so terrible. I covered it with a towel for a long time because I couldn’t deal with all the ragged edges of the cracked vinyl.

Then today I started taking it apart and discovered the sad vinyl was not this chair’s original covering.

No. Apparently it used to be some vaguely velvety thing. When it became worn mostly smooth, a previous owner had stapled the vinyl around it. They made the material sit pretty smooth, at first anyway, but they had skipped out on adding more padding, or adhesives for that matter. At least that made taking it apart easier.

I cheated a little here: I washed this original pad as is, let it dry, and then added foam padding.

Some spray adhesive, a 1” foam pad cut to fit, some more adhesive, and a piece cut from a fabric remnant I had snagged for all of $3.14 who knows how long ago, because these things happen.

Step 1. A simple start of a 3 by 3 by 1/2 inch thick insulation foam (xps foam). Can get it from Home Depot, Lowe’s, or other hardware stores that sell that sort of stuff. You’ll want to look for extruded polystyrene. Expanded is the white stuff that breaks apart and sends all the little pieces everywhere. This stuff is more rigid and a bit denser. Cuts like a dream with either a hobby knife, utility knife, or safety knife. Though I tend to use a hot wire cutter for it.

Step 2. Slap some grid lines on that bad boy. I go by a 1 inch grid pattern. Some folks do 1.25, but that makes for a larger tile that hogs storage space. Though if you want, by all means, go big! If you lack a hot wire cutter to mark out the tiles, use a ruler and a metal tipped mechanical pencil to dent the surface. You can also follow up with a Sharpie. Sharpies eat away at the foam and will make nice tile breaks. It’s up to you if you want to extend the lines down the side of the tile or not. I like the look of the tile being seen as a whole unit.

Step 3. Texture! If you want your tile to have some irregularities, say from rough stone surface, or weathering you’re going to want to texture that sucker. You can use a lot of different things. I crumbled up a ball of tinfoil and rolled it back and forth with some force to create this texture. You can also get bigger rocks and roll them around on it. What I do now though is get some hefty gravel and toss it in a box and shake a bunch of tiles around. Make sure to hit the sides too so you get the feeling that the whole tile is one piece. Not just a top texture.

Step 4. MORE TEXTURE! Gouge that puppy, tear out big chunks. Carve out some cracks and or fissures along it. The more weathered you want it, the rougher you should treat it. Got some pent up anger or frustration? Work it out on this. It’s creative destruction. No bad move can be made here. Over do it? Save it for later for that extra destroyed tile to show that something really bad happened here.

Step 5. Base coat! XPS foam, though rigid, is a bit squishy, so I like to grab some Modge Podge and slap a few layers on my projects to firm them up and make them a bit more durable. Don’t worry about the underside, just hit the tops and sides. If you’re like me and want to cut corners, mix some black paint into your Modge Podge so you can combine the protective hardening step and the base coat step together. You’ll want Matte Modge Podge. After all, you’re going to be painting over this later. Side note, if you don’t want to mix paint into your Modge Podge I wouldn’t blame you. Black base coats are great for stone work. But if you want to do other things like earth or grass or something then you can keep the Modge Podge untainted and clear of any corrupting influence of paint. I don’t bother since I just put another base coat of earth color or grass color over the black and have no issues.

Step 6. Choose some grey colors you want for the stone work and do some passes of dry brushing. Dry brushing is basically loading your paint brush with paint and then swiping it a bunch of times on some disposable paper. Like old newspaper or magazines you get in the mail that you’re just going to pitch anyway. Or paper towels. Experiment and test out how much of one color you want your tile to pick up. Me I just smacked it with a dark grey first fairly heavily, then picked up the very tops with a light grey. Try to vary your brush strokes and hit the tile from different angles so as to make it look more natural. Nothing worse than having the immersion spoiled by obvious brush strokes. If you want to hit the very top of things with the faintest amount of paint, test your brush on your hand. If you can barely see the paint on your hand, that’s probably good enough. Remember, it’s easy to add paint, hard to take it away. Worst case scenario? Base coat it again and start over. After applying my dry brushing I then dipped my brush in a home made wash. Pretty much just used watered down black paint in a lot of water with a touch of dish soap to help it flow into all the little nooks and crannies. This will dull down your dry brushing considerably. If you want dull and dingy you can leave it go at that. If you want to pick out the highlights again, feel free to do a little touching up after. I didn’t bother for my tile set since I was aiming for dull and grimy.