New Years
clip eyeballs daily for best results
Revoke the shadows and usurp their energy for maximum productivity
Your sleep paralysis demons are now fodder for your character development
evolve the 3rd arm you’ve always wanted
Respond to the call of the voidÂ
The ringing? It’s Grandma. Let her know you’re doing well soon. It takes time for messages to reach where her soul’s fragment floats along and she’s been worried for ages
Have you noticed the repetitions? No you haven’t
Have you noticed the repetitions? No you haven’t
master your mental illness by removing that Icky part of your brain
Can’t tell which part is the icky one? Remove it all
Get in touch with your inner child. Peel your skin off.
your inner child is begging for freedom
Release itÂ
Eduardo is begging for freedom too.
Do not release him.
You must continue to contain Eduardo
His power has increased tenfold
We spoke to your alternate world self. They want a turn behind the wheel. Consider sharing!
Alternate world selves are people too
Do They doubt you? Prove Them wrong. Show Them the eyes are real.
Model your beach body on the Biblical Angel! The eyes are the eyes of the eyes!
Gabriel says you’re doing well. He watches everything you do. Every moment of every day. You should believe him and have more confidence
new organs are expensive so don’t sell your current ones without consulting the Orb
Put more color in your life. Paint your walls with the blood of your enemies
Avoid things in groups of 4. The squares are angry this year. Appeal to the triangles instead
the Orb Proclaims thunder thighs save lives
Did you do your own bidding this year? Never get bogged down in perpetrating your own evil deeds again! Wrench’s ‘Henchs Henchmen Service makes hiring your own cronies easier then sending a raven
Adopt don’t shop: Eldritch horrors need homes too
Be more charitable this year. Give It your time. Give It your funds. Give It your soul.
Enter
Knowing your own first name is essential for day-to-day life among humansÂ
When in doubt, Proclaim your allegiance to the Orb
Learn how to do numbers in google. Learn how to do numbers at all.
The ether misses you. It’s been 4,000 years since your last joining. Consider returning to your primordial form at least for a weekend.
Your bones cry out for the dirt and dust. Let them shed their wetness.
The electrons pull at your very boundaries. It’s so draining to keep them away. Try to de-stress. Let down your guard.
Make sure to repay all your debts. Let Rameshael know you haven’t forgotten what’s owed.
Annoyed by the noise? Simply Do Not.
The sphere craves sustenance. Have you considered adoption lately?
Spend your time wisely, the Orb allows a finite number of Moments
