#charotera

Pakyu series ver. 2 by lamoksakulambo

“Where do you see yourself ten years from now?” “Honestly, I still don’t know.”

I am not a fan of daydreaming.

Once, when I was fifteen, I daydreamed of a particular day being perfect and extraordinary, but the moment that day came, I just found myself disappointed and upset. I realized that it’s not that day being not perfect and extraordinary that made me upset, it was the mere fact that my expectations and standards were not met, so all the lines that I built on my complex mind came crashing down on me.

So when people ask me, “Where do you see yourself ten years from now?” I usually answer, “Honestly, I still don’t know.”

Maybe, I am still working my butt off to finally finish Medicine, carrying tons of books and reading them all once I get home, desperately praying for enough sleep while I mumble those scientists’ and microorganisms’ names inside my head, highlighting all those important terms in my encyclopedia which for me, is basically everything.

Maybe I now have a job that is flexible enough for me to keep on traveling from places to places, exploring beaches after beaches, climbing mountains and shouting my heart out once I reach the top, hopefully riding a first class on my way to another country, exploring different cultures and trying them out.

Maybe I am now a working girl still finding her way to be the boss, wearing the typical pencil cut skirt paired with a button down blouse and maybe a bag that shouts an absolute professionalism, having my own money stuck on my bank account and a pad full of fashionista clothes and chocolates.

Maybe I am now a ‘Mrs.’ to someone (ayyiiee) and a ‘Mom’ to my cute little kid/s. Maybe I can now cook, or maybe I have now accomplished my goal to be a chef when I was fifteen, not for the public but for my own family.

Or maybe I can have all that in one.

I can see myself on different types of clothes that labels my role in the society, but at the end of the day, I find myself succumbing to the sea of uncertainty. I find myself drowning in this sea of questions that are clouding my mind, like: What if I fail? What if I don’t make it? What if it’s not meant for me?

Maybe daydreaming is not my thing.

I am still seventeen, and I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot of options and choices laid down in front of me. Maybe a month from now, or two, or maybe a year, through the help of this university I am currently enrolled in, and through this strand I chose, I’d be able to choose which path should I take and work really hard to reach my destination.

I maybe uncertain on a lot of things, but there is one thing that I am sure of, we don’t know what the future holds, but we all have the options to choose the best path and wade our way through the future that we have always dreamed of.