#charmedwords

Lup wasn’t stupid. Her brother was a world class liar but he couldn’t lie to her. At least, she thought he couldn’t. But everything was new and different now. The old Lup would have rushed in on that summer afternoon, pushed and prodded until Taako told her about every scar. The old Lup had never been as patient as Taako. He could hang back, wait years for the perfect opportunity if he had to, but Lup was made for action.

A decade in an umbrella had changed that. Now, she was patient.

Well, patient to a point. She waited while Angus left for school, waited while Taako got settled with his own school. She waited for months, had to be certain Taako wouldn’t bolt the first time she brought it up. She didn’t even bring it up today! Just hinted at it. She supposed it was foolish to hope he was forgetful in same way he had pretended she wasn’t perceptive.

So she had to wait. Again. That was fine, she tried to tell herself. The cheering had turned into drinking around the fire from the massive keg Merle and Davenport had brought, but Lup wasn’t really in the Solstice mood anymore. This wasn’t her tradition yet, still too new, just like everything else. Barry gave her a look as she passed by. She hoped her smile said enough, and it must have. He gave her a soft smile of his own, but didn’t follow her as she snuck in through the side of the house, not wanting to pass through the kitchen.

“You’ve been hiding a limp all day.” Angus sounded confident, voice echoing through the empty house in the same way he talked about his successful cases with the Neverwinter PD. Lup had planned to curl up in bed, but this… this might be worth waiting to hear. Taako said something, but she was too far away to hear it. Then there was shouting.

“It’s not bullshit when someone’s keeping secrets!”

“Watch your fucking language!”

Then Silence, powerful arcane energy that stopped her midstep, just before the doorframe of the kitchen. She saw Taako and Angus keep talking, but she couldn’t read their lips. The tension her brother had been carrying all day seeped out of his shoulders. Whatever was happening in there, she needed to wait to see its end.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been waiting, but the spell started to crackle out of existence.

“I don’t want that. You shouldn’t even know about this. No one was supposed to know.” Taako sounded just like he did when he told her everyone was dust.

“You should at least tell Lup.” Angus said. Candlenights was late on the calendar this year, but Lup was buying this kid every Caleb Cleveland novel she could get her hands on. She’d kidnap the author and gift wrap them for Angus if she had to.

“I can’t tell Lup.”

A decade in an umbrella, a year of listening to her brother and not being able to say a thing; Lup had patience now, but only so much. Coming out from behind the door frame, she threw on a smirk she didn’t feel and finally rushed in.

She wasn’t really sure what she expected. Taako’s Dex mod used to be higher than hers and she was never really good at Stealth rolls anyway, so it was rare that she could surprise him. Even now, he didn’t jump, didn’t squawk and yell at her the way he used when she and Magnus could prank him. He froze and didn’t even look at her. He looked at Angus.

Lup thought she’d seen every emotion cross her twin’s face, the thousands of matching expressions they shared, but she’d never seen this. It wasn’t anger, wasn’t even surprise. He looked almost empty, filled with nothing but bone deep betrayal. She could almost see his “I trust no one and nothing except Angus McDonald” crumbling to dust in their kitchen and she felt sick.

“He didn’t know,” she said before thinking twice about it. There was a flicker of something and then the hallowed out look of loss was gone and Taako was smirking at her, make up perfect and a hand on his hip.

“Ooh, so you were eavesdropping?” He clicked his tongue a few times, shaking his head. “Davenport would be so disappointed you didn’t pay attention to his Boundaries In Close Quarters powerpoint from cycle seven.”

He was waiting for her to take the bait, to point out the only reason they had to watch the powerpoint that cycle was because of him. As the seconds dragged on though, she could see his smirk falter. The silence stretched further and she still couldn’t speak. Now was her moment, this is what she’d been waiting for! There was so much she needed to say and yet the only thing that came out of her mouth was a broken, “Taako.”

“Nope.” He turned right around, picking up a spoon and furiously stirring something.

“Sir, should I go…” Angus started but Taako just picked up the potato peeler and handed it to him without looking.

“You are staying right here and peeling those potatoes, Agnes.”

“Taako,” Lup tried to say something else but that’s all that could be said. She took a shaky step forward but her brother still wouldn’t look at her. “Taako, please, I know something’s going on.”

“Uh-uh. I am not doing this today, Lulu. I know you’re new to this planar system but this feast is– oof!” She nearly knocked Taako into the counter as she collided with him, wrapping her arms around him in a crushing hug. “Lulu…”

“You’re soft. Need soft.” She murmured into the back of his sweater. When she first got her body, they spent days like this. Taako let her feel every fabric he owned, his softest silk blouses and his most scuffed up leather boots. She ran her fingers through his hair for hours. There were still some nights when she’d sneak into his room, shove Kravitz out of the way, and hold him close just because she finally could. She hadn’t had a bad night like that in weeks, but maybe Taako forgot.

“I can’t do this today, Lup.” He whispered, seeing right through her in a way she used to be able to do too. At least he didn’t push her off, slowly stirring whatever mixture he was working on for dinner. Angus had the peeler on a potato, but hadn’t moved.

“Tomorrow?” She asked.

The silence that followed, she could truly see her brother again. Angus must have seen it too. He relaxed and got through two more potatoes as they both pretend not to watch Taako run the numbers. Could he fake a school emergency tomorrow? What were the odds she’d believe he had the flu? Maybe if he Blinked enough times in a row, she wouldn’t be able to follow him. Anything to get out of this conversation. He slumped a little and Lup tried not to laugh. He couldn’t avoid her forever, they both knew it. At least not everything was new and different.

“Fine,” Taako surrendered. “But I seriously have to get cooking.” She didn’t move. “Are you just going to hang off of me all day?”

“Maybe.”

“Taako! Can I help with dinner?” Angus asked, following him into the house.

“I don’t know, squirt, this is kind of a one elf job.” Taako wasn’t looking at him, busying himself with taking a roast out to thaw.

“Well that’s perfect, because I’m not an elf!”

Taako sighed, but didn’t shoo him away. He didn’t turn around either and Angus couldn’t get any new notes for this case if Taako wouldn’t look at him. His Insight mod was high, but not that high. “Besides, I’ve been gone for a while. I’m sure you’ve got new spells to teach me.”

That made Taako pause. They had both decidedly spent the last few days of summer pretending nothing had happened and, at that time, Angus was fine with that. But The World’s Greatest Detective could only wait so long before the need for answers weighed more than the need to keep the peace with his family.

Taako still wouldn’t turn around though. He gave a blunt laugh before gathering a few more dishes that had been frozen overnight. “So this is how we’re going to do this, huh?”

“Either like this, or I can cast Zone of Truth,” Angus offered, perhaps leaning too heavily into his ‘cheerily helpful’ disposition.

“Aglet,” Taako’s voice was sharp and so was his expression when finally turned to face Angus. He was still leaning back on the counter, faux casual, but his eyeshadow was a different color. The Disguise Self must have worn off- how did he recast it without Angus even noticing? “What part of ‘you didn’t see anything’ did you not understand?”

“The part where you’ve been hiding a limp all day.”

Taako scoffed and rolled his eyes.“I thought Magnus talked to you about doing this detective bullshit on the family.” Angus knew he was going to lose this lead unless he made a bigger move.

“It’s not bullshit when someone’s keeping secrets–”

“Watch your fucking language–”

“You’re the one who said no one was supposed to keep secrets anymore!” Angus hadn’t mean to raise his voice, wasn’t really aware that he’d done it until it was done. He never used to do that. He was pretty sure he had to increase his volume after spending as much time around a family that constantly talked over each other.

He heard the change before he felt the magic settle over the room. Before Angus became a wizard, he had a few different items that could cast Silence for him, but the spell had a different power behind it when cast by one of the most talented mages in the multiverse.

He was so distracted by the spell that he didn’t notice Taako walk across the kitchen until he was towering over Angus. The boy had grown a little, during his semester away, but not enough to really forget how much shorter he was than everyone except Merle and Davenport.

“I don’t know what game you’re trying to play, but I promise you, McDonald, you will lose.”

This lead was absolutely getting away from him. He needed to change tactics, try a different approach, maybe make good on his threat for Zone of Truth. His spell DC might be high enough, despite how charismatic Taako was. He was the World’s Greatest Detective, he could still crack this case.

Instead, he panicked. “Are you okay?”

That made Taako take a step back, nearly stumbling before grabbing onto the back of one of the kitchen chairs. “What?”

“I want to know what happened.” Angus took a bold step forward, but Taako only laughed, the same harsh sound he made first time Angus called him and the others on their horseshit back on the Rockport Limited.

“You’re barely ten years old, you don’t know what you want!”

“I’m twelve!”

“So I’ve got a whole year before you can start this teenage rebellion bullshit. Ango, this feast is not going to cook itself and I–”

Taako started to turn away. This was his last chance. “My parents died in the Relic Wars.”

If Taako had looked horrified when Angus saw his scars, if he’d been confused when Angus asked if he was okay, those were nothing compared to this. For a moment, he wondered if he’d stopped speaking Common, but any other language he could possibly know, he’s sure Taako would have understood.

“That. Um.” Taako’s left leg seemed to buckle for a second before he grabbed the back of the chair again. With a defeated sigh, he sat down. “I’m going to ruin dinner because of this.”

“Probably not, sir, you’re a very good chef.”

“Obviously,” Taako muttered, scrubbing a hand across his face. His make up didn’t smudge, but with a snap of his fingers, it was gone completely. His hair fell loose around his shoulders and his freckles stopped shimmering in imaginary starlight. “Fine, okay, let’s turn this into a teachable moment. Barry and Lup are liches, right?”

“Yes…” Angus wasn’t sure where this was going, but at least it was going somewhere. He pulled out another chair and sat down.

“You better pray Istus never fates you to meet any others. Others liches are what did this to me. And to Merle and to Magnus.”

The Wonderland mission had been a nightmare. Having the Reclaimers drop off the map, then Magnus not coming home. Merle had an eyepatch and Taako… With the chaos that followed, the literal end of the world, Angus hadn’t noticed anything different about Taako.

“I’m the worst detective,” he mumbled, but Taako put hand on his shoulder bringing him back to the present.

“Hey.” For the first time since Silence was cast, Taako didn’t seem angry with him anymore. “You are the best detective. World’s Greatest. How’d you get started with all that anyway?”

“Tried to find out what happened with my parents.”

“Bet Cresha didn’t make that easy for you.”

“No, she did not.” They shared a small laugh, though Angus assumed for different reasons. A non-magical silence lingered for a moment before Angus was able to look at Taako again. “Does it hurt?”

“Gotta be more specific than that, kiddo.” Taako stretched and Angus heard several joints pop.

“You face?”

“Physically, no.”

“Emotionally?”

“Uh-uh-uh!” Taako shook a finger so close to Angus’s face that he nearly went cross eyed. When he focused on Taako again, the elf was grinning. “I already let you slip two questions in on that turn. Don’t try to pull a fast one on a flip wizard. Taako’s turn now. Where’d you get that scar?” He pointed to the back of Angus’s hand.

“My grandfather stabbed me with a fork.”

Taako nearly choked, strained and genuine laugh squeezing through his throat. “The fuck? What did you do?”

“It was an accident. Where’d you get your scar?”

“Gotta be more specific. Why’d you ask me to teach you magic?”

Angus huffed, and crossed his arms over his chest. “You are not making this easy.”

“Didn’t say I would.” Taako mirrored his posture, smirking in a way that Angus found strangely comforting. “Answer my question.”

Angus shrugged. “What you did on the train was pretty cool.”

“Hey, am I bullshitting on my answers? No, I’m not. Do not make me cast Zone of Truth, young man.”

“You don’t have that spell.”

“Fuck you, I don’t have that spell. I’ve got whatever fucking spell I want.” Taako moved to stand, but seemed to think better of it and slouched back down. Angus still didn’t say anything. Taako, surprisingly, stayed quiet, waiting him out. All his detective training had prepared him pretty well for being on the other side of interrogations, but he found himself fidgeting in the silence after only a minute.

“Grandpa wasn’t… all there? I guess. You guys were the first people to… I don’t know.” For all the books Angus had read, not many of them offered a word for what that feeling had been. “I asked Magnus to teach me to fight, but he said I was too young. And, uh, Merle wasn’t…”

“Yeah, no, I remember how Merle was.”

“Was he not like that on the Starblaster?”

“You still haven’t answered my question, but I’ll give you a freebee.” Taako leaned back. He’d been paying pretty close attention when Angus was speaking, but now he seemed to focus on something off in the distance. “No, he wasn’t like that on the Starblaster. Was your grandpa mad when you didn’t bring the silverware?”

“He was dead before I got there.”

Taako’s attention slid back to him, but his posture stayed loose. “You don’t seem very upset about that.”

Angus shrugged. “What happened to your legs?”

“Washing machine fell on me.”

Angus tried not to react to that. It was surprisingly easy, mostly because the idea was so hard to imagine he couldn’t really react at all. He leaned back in his chair, mirroring Taako to the best of his ability despite his feet not reaching the floor. “You don’t seem very upset about that.”

“Oh trust me, I am. It’s just,” Taako barked out a laugh, “It’s so stupid? Like it didn’t even make any sense? This big dumb thing just fell on me out of nowhere!” He laughed again, shaking his head and staring at nothing again. “Do you miss your parents?”

“I didn’t really know them, so no, not really. Do you miss your home planet?”

Taako scoffed. “Definitely not. Why’d you go to Lucas’s shitty school?”

Angus thought about bullshitting an answer again. It would have been easy to say he’d already been enrolled in The Academy before Taako announced he was opening a school. And that wouldn’t even be a lie! It’s what had happened. But he could have talked to Lucas, could have found a way to transfer. He had considered doing so, but something had stopped him. That same feeling he didn’t really have a word for.

“Because I’m already in your school.”

Taako didn’t react at first, just blinking at nothing, but then he was blinking at Angus. He tilted his head, as if a different angle could help him better see through a lie that wasn’t there. Angus shrugged at Taako’s unasked question and Taako broke into a grin. “And that’s exactly what I want to hear from my favorite student.”

Angus found himself matching the smile, enjoying the unexpected success before he remembered why he started this game in the first place. “Why were you mad when I cast Dispel Magic?”

Taako shook his head. “Wasn’t mad. You scared the fuck outta me. Where’d you learn that spell?”

“Barry taught me.”

“Son of a bitch…”

Angus pressed on. “Do your legs hurt?”

Taako’s grin slid off his face, but he kept staring at Angus. There was something brighter about his eyes, focused like this and without the glamour. He was quiet for a long time before sighing and nodding a little. He looked down, at the way his legs draped out from the chair, unposed, as close to comfortable as it was possible to be in a kitchen chair. When he looked back at Angus, he seemed strangely determined.

“All the damn time.”

“Why don’t you tell anyone?”

Taako held up his index finger again, smile returned. “Uh-uh! Not your turn.” When Taako didn’t follow with a question, Angus tried not to get inpatient. He really seemed to be thinking about it before leveling Angus was a surprisingly serious, but focused, expression. “Are you okay?”

Taako had asked him this question only twice before. The rest of the Birds asked him pretty often, but it was different when it came from Taako. When Lucretia asked Angus if he was okay, he expected it. She had brought an eleven-year-old onto a secret moonbase; she thought he was her responsibility, like the rest of the weight of the world was. Davenport asked because he was the Captain and Captains made sure their crew was okay. Magnus wore his heart on his sleeve, so did Lup and Barry. They asked in that familiar, comforting way. Merle was a cleric, he usually asked if Angus was okay in regards to exclusively physical matters.

For all Taako pretend to be “good out here,” to be an idiot wizard, that disguise was flimsy within minutes of Angus meeting him, much more so after all his memories returned. Despite Lucretia being his Boss and Davenport as the family’s Captain, Taako was his Mentor.

The first time Taako had asked if he was okay was after The Story and Song. He was standing on shaky legs after fighting for his life and struggling to focus on anything in front of him after a century was shoved into his mind. Taako had put a hand on his shoulder and the world held together just a little bit longer.

The second time Taako had asked if he was okay was the day after The Detect Magic Incident.

“Yes Taako. I’m okay.”

“Good.” Taako gave a small smile, before clapping his hands together and starting to stand. His grip on the back of the chair turned his knuckles white, but he was steady on his feet. He didn’t bother looking at Angus’s concerned expression. “And before you ask, no, it is not always this bad. Holiday had me on my feet a lot.”

“One last question?” Angus asked anyway.

Taako sighed, rolling not just his eyes but lolling his whole body in a put-upon motion. “Fiiine. But you’re peeling all the potatoes.”

“That’s fair.” Angus hopped out of his seat and Taako handed him the potato peeler. He got through the first one, letting Taako focus on seasoning the roast. “Why wont you tell anyone?”

Taako didn’t answer for a while, but Angus didn’t feel impatient anymore. He went through three more potatoes before Taako finally said, “They’re all…” He sighed, and Angus tried to look at him without turning his head, despite his glasses not clearing that part of his vision. Taako was making the sort of hand gesture he usually used when talking about his family. “Because they’re stupid.” He finally settled on that and Angus put down the potato peeler to put his hands on his hips.

“That’s a bullshit answer.”

“Well it’s true!”

Angus didn’t budge and Taako laughed. “Istus, you’d be adorable like that if I didn’t know you knew Zone of Truth. Okay, yeah. Cresha’s already a mess, I don’t really need to dunk more guilt on her because she is, in fact, the idiot who sent us there. Dav is… Dav, so he’s always weird about when we get hurt. Barry and Magnus and Merle were all there and– and Lup was too. They’re going to be weird about it.

“And it’s not like on the Starblaster where we’d get hurt but it was better next cycle. There is no next cycle. I’m going to be like this forever. And Krav, he hasn’t said anything about it yet, but I know he wants to see ‘the real me’ or whatever stupid sappy thing that you are too young to understand–”

“I’m twelve, I understand how basic decency works.”

“Shut up. And everyone is going to want it to be all the time and I don’t… I don’t want that.”

“You don’t have to tell everyone.”

Taako just shook his head. “You shouldn’t even know about this. No one was supposed to know.”

“I won’t tell anyone. But you should at least tell Lup.” He didn’t need a hundred years of memories in his head to know that, despite how close everyone on the Starblaster was, the twins were something else.

“I can’t tell Lup.”

Taako whined, drunk enough to not put up a fight, but not enough to forget how much he didn’t want to do this. Lup just laughed, hoisting him over her shoulder in a fireman carry. “Hey!”

“Lup,” Kravitz was trying not to laugh, watching his boyfriend flail about. “I can take him upstairs if you want to keep dancing.”

“Thanks Bone Boy, but it’s twin time. Catch you nerds in the morning!” There were a few scattered goodbyes that faded behind them as Lup carried Taako inside and up the stairs, dropping him onto her bed.

“What’s up with your legs?” She dropped down next to him with a bounce, keeping her tone light. Taako just rolled over and glared at her.

“There’s nothing wrong with my legs.”

“I didn’t ask what was wrong, I asked what was up.” She grinned and he cursed. “Come on, Taaks, I know Dispel Magic too.”

He sat up, matching her posture, and Lup expected more of a fight. Taako didn’t say anything, though, just looked at her. He looked so tired. For a split second, Lup almost wanted to wait until the morning for this conversation.

“Why can’t--” Taako started, but then he shook his head and couldn’t look at Lup anymore. “I don’t want to do this.”

Lup put her hand on his cheek and, thank the gods, he leaned into it. She wasn’t sure how long they sat like that, before Taako scooted closer to her. They shifted around, curling together until Taako rested his head on her shoulder. Their fingers laced together after, with a flick of her wrist, Lup dropped the lights to a few flickering candles.

“Didn’t have this on the ’blaster,” he whispered, stretching his legs out along the soft duvet of the massive bed.

“Yeah.” More silence, before Lup whispered. “What are you scared of?”

Taako scoffed, butting his head against her shoulder. “Fuck you, I’m not scared of anything.”

She rolled her eyes, but waited. He snuggled closer, squeezing her hand, but she stayed silent.

“Besides, it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it,” he said.

“Do about what?”

Taako didn’t seem to hear her. “They’re already dead. It doesn’t matter. There’s, like, nothing to do about it.”

“I mean, it kind of matters. Angus said something about you limping--”

“And I don’t even care!” Taako sat up, suddenly, and winced. “I’m fine with it, so no one else should give a shit.”

“You’re clearly not fine.”

“Look at me!” He gestured to his face. Despite all the drinking and dancing, not a hair was out of place. His lipstick looked like he just put it on. “Of course I’m fine!”

The old Lup would have shouted back at him, would have just cast Dispel Magic and finally gotten her questions answered. She opened her mouth, tempted to give in, but instead she pursed her lips and pointed to her own face. “I’m not fine.”

Taako deflated instantly, anger rushing out of him. “Lu…”

“No, shut up.” She moved her hand back to his cheek, guiding him to curl up with her again as she spoke. “I was in an umbrella for an eternity and now I see death crimes that haunt me. And I’m, like, a dimensionally famous death criminal, so you know that shit is fucked up. My captain won't talk to my sister, my body is still new, I’m in a world I still don’t understand, and my brother has been lying to me. I am not fine.”

Taako tried to sit up again, but Lup held him down. It wasn’t much of a struggle. “I wasn’t lying to you.”

“You made the secret keeping rule.”

“That was for Cresha! Not me!” Again, she let her silence answer him. “Fuck, okay fine whatever. It’s not like my secret was hurting anyone. And you were keeping secrets too! I didn’t… I didn’t know you were still..”

“It’s not a secret,” Lup said, “I talk to Barry about it. And Cresha and Dav and Magnus and, I mean for fuck’s sake Taako, I talk to you about it all the time. I even talk to Kravitz about the death stuff and he’s a really good listener.”

“I’m not telling him about this.”

Patience, she reminded herself. That wasn’t a battle she could win right now, so she tried to say focused. “Everytime we sat together, you and me out on the porch or that one time cleaning out the Starblaster, and I cried and you held me, every time. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I’m not… Lup, I’m not gonna-- come on, I thought you didn’t by into my whole spotlight stealing bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, you’re an absolute diva.”

He laughed and things felt a little lighter. They shifted again and Taako stretched his legs.

“There’s no spotlight right now,” Lup whispered. “It’s just me.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the problem.” Taako sighed and stretched again, twisting a little until something popped and he relaxed against her. Her arm was curled around him, his back pressed into her side. When they were little, they always faced each other. There weren’t many secrets to tell, but they whispered together, looking into the mirror of their own faces. She wondered if after a decade of having no one to look at, looking at nothing was easier for him.

“I miss the umbrastaff,” he continued unprompted and Lup jolted.

“What?”

“Fuck, no not like-- you know not like that but--”

“Okay, but like, what?”

He squirmed around, trying to put his arms around her, but she pushed him off. They both fidgeted, starting and stopping as they moved, until they were lying down, heads together and feet dangling off opposite sides of the bed. He stared at the ceiling and Lup stared him.

“I know it was only a year but, before I got my memories back, it was the best year of my life. Everything that felt wrong about me suddenly felt right. And I think… I think the umbrastaff was part of that? And, Lulu, brand wise? It was absolutely the best! Easy to carry, dope as fuck spell focus, could lean on it whenever--”

“It’d probably help your legs.” She didn’t mean to rush in, but the way Taako froze, she was dead right.

He opened his mouth and she was expecting to be told off. The way his brows knit together was just like every time he cussed out Merle for having his plants too close to the kitchen on the ship. But the expression faded away and Taako stared at the ceiling, face blank. “Yeah, actually, it would probably help my legs.”

“Do you want to start with those or start with your face?”

“I mean, it’s kind of a package deal.”

She bumped her shoulder into his and he gave a weak laugh. She felt a spark of arcane energy and scrambled to sit up, patience long gone. But his face was still glamoured, he’d simply transformed his leggings into pajama shorts. He didn’t bother sitting up, managing to look up at her, arching a brow. “It’s really not that exciting, Lu.”

“If you drag this out any longer, I’m going to cast it.”

He rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else. Watching the spell fade away, she didn’t really notice much? His nose was a little thinner, eyes a little more sunken in, but it was the same face. He looked like he belonged on Faerun, less alien and more like the other elves she’d seen walking about Neverwinter.

“That’s what you were so worried about?”

Taako squawked and propped himself up on his elbows. “Fucking excuse you! I’m sorry my fucked up face isn’t shocking enough for you!”

“Oh please, you still look gorgeous.”

He blinked at her, brows knitted together in confusion. Those were a little thicker now too, like they both used to have before they came into money and then tweezers. She liked them that way. Since her body was tied to The Raven Queen, it didn’t change much anymore, but maybe she could pencil her eyebrows in to match his. “Lup,” Taako sounded annoyed, so she tried to focus. “I don’t look like you anymore.”

All this waiting and she was really ruining this whole moment, because at that? Lup had to laugh. “We haven’t looked the same since we were sixty! Are you kidding me?”

Taako tried to sit up, but gave up halfway through and collapsed back down, scrubbing his hands over his face. “That’s not what I mean.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I know it’s important to you.” She patted his leg and--

Lup had watched Taako exactly five times during the stolen century. Twice he died on an away mission she wasn’t on, and once with the judges they died at the same time. And four of those five times, she died with him. Explosions, arrows to the heart, that one time on that ice planet where they ran out of spell slots and froze to death. But on cycle fifty-three, he got hit with this blast of magic and Merle had already died in Parley. They’d managed to get him away from their attackers, but it was too late. It wasn’t a slow death, only a half hour, yet it felt like a lifetime. The agony on Taako’s face still frequented her nightmares. He’d shouted when he got hit, had this horrible gurgling sound like he was drowning when he tried to speak, and with his final breath, a tragic whimper that Lup would give anything to unhear. Through all of that, he never made a sound like this.

When Lup put her hand on Taako’s knee, he gasped like she’d stabbed him. She pulled her hand away and Taako was already curling up on himself. “Taako, fuck, I’m so sorry. Are you--”

“I’m fine, just don’t…” His eyes were squeezed shut as she laid down next to him, face next to his.

“You’re not fine. And that’s okay.”

“Lulu, can we not do that right now?”

“What do you need?”

“It’s not usually this bad.”

“What can I do?”

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

She knew he didn’t mean forever, she knew he was hurting, but those words burned. She sat back up, spine too straight, and scooted away from him. Taako’s breathing evened out and he eventually uncurled. His sweater had rode up and now Lup could see the rest of the ‘package deal’.

“What happened to you?”

Taako gave a strange laugh that rattled his whole body until he winced when something must have moved the wrong way. “Washing machine fell on me.”

“The fuck?”

He sighed and pulled the sweater down. Lup looked at the scars on his legs, hundreds of little ones and bruises all around his knees. “Where the fuck was Merle? Was this from when you were doing that cooking show?”

Another horrible laugh and Lup couldn’t stand it anymore. She put a hand over his mouth and Taako opened his eyes to look at her. “This isn’t funny,” she said. She waited another second, making sure he wouldn’t start cackling again, before leaning back and resuming her distant spot.

“I mean, it’s kind of funny?”

“No.”

“Lulu…”

“No! Why the fuck didn’t Merle heal you?”

Taako glanced to the door before looking back at her and shrugging. “He tried?”

“Now, hold on just a second, what do you think you’re doing? There’s no healing in Wonderland.”

The memory hit her like a freight train and she didn’t notice the fire in her hands until Taako was frantically patting out a burn on the duvet. She put out the flames and scrambled to hold his hand in hers, squeezing until her knuckles turned white, trying to remember how to feel anything that wasn’t those fucking curtains.

“Lup? Lup, come on, take a breath.” She wasn’t sure when Taako managed to sit up. Her eyes focused on him and he wasn’t wearing the glamour, which was soothing as much as it was strange. It’s her brother’s face and also not. It’s new. “Lup, you with me?”

She managed to speak, through the rage, through the pain, even though her voice was hoarse and everything was blurry. “I was there.”

“We only need a few more minutes to wrap up this game.”

“Oh my gods, fine!” Taako pulled out a third chair and dropped down into it. “Cap’n’s going to win.”

“You don’t know that…” Merle muttered, but he was probably right. He couldn’t remember the last time Taako had joined in a game of cards, let alone just sat and watched the two of them play. Of course Merle thought their games were interesting, two masterminds battling it out, but none of the crew usually agreed with him.

He threw the game. Davenport knew it, Taako did too, but Merle couldn’t really care less. “Next time, Dav.”

“Of course, Merle.” Their Captain looked at Taako for a moment, then left the kitchen.

“This really isn’t the best place to do this…” Taako had leaned his body back, tilting the chair dangerously as Davenport left. The house was still full of people, some packing after a long week of Candlenights, but Merle was sure the majority of them were going to be here for the foreseeable future. It was nice that Dav was staying as long as he had been.

“What exactly are we doing, Taako?” Merle didn’t bother beating around the bush. He wouldn’t be aggressive with any bush, for that matter. He knew Taako would rather dance around the subject, but if it was cards watching serious, Taako must be in a hurry too.

He still wouldn’t look at him, though. The chair was back on four legs but Taako was focused on the door. “Hey, Barrold!”

“Hm?” Barry walked back from halfway down the hall until he could poke his head through the kitchen door. His eyes shifted between the two of them before his eyebrows shot into his receding hairline. Merle had thought for sure that the pack bond or whatever with the Raven Queen would fix that. He’d picked his god for the looks, among other things. He was surprised Barry hadn’t developed the deadly cheekbones Kravitz seemed blessed with.

“Oh.” Barry seemed to know what was going on.

“Yeah. We need a lift to my office.”

“I can do that.”

“Okay hold on.” Merle held up his hands. “The last time you two needed me to do something, I was getting stabbed with forks.”

Barry rolled his eyes but Taako nodded. “No, no, the old man has a point.” At least one of these kids had sense. Taako looked up from where he’d been focused on the umbrastaff, still in his grip. Oh shit, this really was important. Merle sat up a little straighter, missing the gleam in Taako’s eyes of a goof on the horizon. “Merle, I know you’ve literally never done this before, but we need you to pretend to be a cleric.”

Merle huffed, sliding off the chair. “Ha ha, very funny. Now what is going on.”

Barry had already carved open a rip between the planes and Merle was walking through it. The Astral Plane, if this one was anything like what they’d studied back at the IPRE, was technically closer to the Celestial Plane than the Prime Material was. Geographically speaking, he should feel closer to Pan. Maybe this reality was different than their homeworld’s, maybe not, but Merle never really liked the Astral Plane. The crisp chill from walking across it lingered, long after the portal closed. At least Kravitz didn’t have death radiating off of him like this, despite being Death.

“Not that I don’t love spending time with Barry, but why isn’t your boyfriend plane-hopping with you?” Merle asked as the portal closed up and Taako pushed aside a few papers on his desk. He nearly dropped something, before aiming the umbrastaff at the office door and Mage Handing it closed. “Pan damnit, if you two wanted more blood, you really didn’t have to kidnap me.”

“I don’t want your fucking blood!” Taako snapped, but Barry put a hand on his shoulder. The scythe was gone, just their regular goth boy in denim, looking more grim than he ever did when he told Merle about his work. Taako placed his hand over Barry’s, squeezing once, before pushing him off. He took a deep breath. “Merle, you remember Wonderland, right?”

“Been trying not to.” The words slipped out before he could think twice about them. But it was true! That quest was easily their worst. Sure, Pan’s radio silence wasn’t caused by the liches, but Merle didn’t know that at the time. And everyone can say what they want about his healing abilities but…

At the end of the day, they were all alive. That’s what mattered, that’s what he tried to remember. It was a little hard, knowing they all got their memories back and Magnus still had some missing. Aside from that though, they didn’t lose too much. Right?

Merle hadn’t even realized he’d glanced down at his feet, face twisted in frustration before intentionally smoothing back out again, until he looked back up at Taako.

He’d meant it when he offered to take the extra spin for Taako. He really wished one of them had followed through; Magnus could have afforded to lose another finger since he got his whole body back anyway.

Taako looked fine, better than that if Merle’s being honest. What had Taako said, looking better than ninety percent of Faerun? It was true, still was. But he’d be very plain if they’d gone back to their original plane. The difference was significant, now that Merle could compare him to Lup.

“I can’t--”

“Not that.” Taako stepped around from the desk. Ah, shorts and a crop top in winter made a lot more sense now. Not that Merle knew much about winter fashion-- it was always shorts weather back at Merlegaritaville.

“Those do not look good.” He stepped closer and Taako met him half way, Barry right behind him.

“I promise you, they feel worse.” That would explain the new umbrastaff. Merle looked at Barry. Of course Taako told Lup, but why did Barry know first? It wasn’t like they could kill Taako and bring him back with a new body. Who else knew?

“Okay, could you not with the face? I’m sure you can do your cleric shit with my spell still up, this is a courtesy.”

“It would be a lot harder without a visual reference,” Barry tried, but Merle had heard enough.

“Don’t tell me how to do my job.” He held his soulwood arm to the gash across Taako’s stomach and the budding leaves curled backwards. “Any issues with this one?”

“Uuh, dex mostly. Loss of appetite? That could be from other stuff though.”

Barry made an inquisitive noise at that, which made Merle feel at least a little bit better. Taako had talked to him about that already. Merle let the two of them go on whatever half spoken face journey they were going on, and focused on the biggest wound at hand. The knees were important, but this one was near vital organs. Merle had seen first hand how many hit points this had knocked out and it somehow managed to look worse than it did before.

“Barry and I figured it’s necrotic scarring.” Taako rushed out, Barry grumbling something beside him.

“Yeah,” Merle nodded softly. What he was finding aligned with that. He took a step back, able to look Taako in the eye without craning his neck. “I’m not death domain, Taako. I can’t reverse this. We could try to find a cleric who is--”

“They wouldn’t have a hundred cycles of experience. I’m not interested in letting them look at this.”

Huh. Merle didn’t bother to fight down the smile pulling at the edges of his beard. Taako didn’t return it by any means, but he scoffed and rolled his eyes, which Merle knew was basically the same thing.

“Merle, I…” Barry started, fidgeting with nothing for a moment. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m worried he’s getting worse.”

Just based on what he was seeing, what he knew of the wounds, that sounded right. But Merle looked to Taako instead. He seemed occupied fixing the hem of his shirt, fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeves. He didn’t notice the silence right away. When he did, he frowned. “What?”

“Has it been getting worse?” Merle asked.

If it had been literally any other conversation, Merle could have laughed at the face Taako pulled. Even with how serious he knew this conversation was, he was still tempted. Taako shifted his weight, leaning back slightly on the umbrastaff like he used to.

“It’s… uh…” His eyes seemed to go unfocused for a moment, as he stared at Merle. Merle knew that look from a copy he was familiar with over his own face. Seeing two versions of the same person, one you shared a century with and the other was your strange adventuring buddy.

Sometimes it was easier when they were just three idiots running around collecting magical items and laughing together as they nearly avoided death.

The person he was, when he met Taako the second time, was not someone Taako would trust with this confession. Merle wasn’t proud of that, but it was what it was. All he could do was take a deep breath and wait for which version of him Taako saw today.

Instead, Taako closed his eyes. They were screwed up tight, like if he couldn’t see, no one would hear his confession. “It’s worse. I didn’t have trouble walking a year ago.”

“Alright, glad we’re on the same page.” Taako opened one eye, glaring at Merle without much heat, but Merle continued. “And I’m glad you’re not waiting another year to tell me because this thing is going to kill you.”

Barry blanched at that, though Merle didn’t really understand his shock. The guy was a necromancer, this was how that arcana worked. Hell, he made the dang Bell, didn’t he know what it did?

Taako opened both eyes, expression blank for a moment until he moved the umbrastaff in front of him and leaning forward. His stance, his voice, his face, all of it was more certain and serious that Merle had heard in a while. “I don’t want to die.”

“Party was fun.” Usually Taako made conversation. Tonight seemed like it would be Barry’s responsibility. “I had, uh, one or two Solstices when I had a body, never really understood it though. Guess it’s different when you’re drinking alone in a tavern than when you’re drinking Highchurch brewed mead.” He let himself laugh, stopping only when he heard Taako whine. “Taako?”

“It’s my fault this time.”

“Bud, you’re the one who told me–”

“I know what I said, Barold!” Taako snapped. Barry didn’t even flinch, just reaching out and taking Taako’s free hand in his own. He squeezed and Taako squeezed back, so that was a step in the right direction. “You know what happened in Wonderland.”

“A lot happened in Wonderland.”

Taako rolled his eyes. “No shit. I mean with me.”

“Some of it? Your face doesn’t look too bad, ya know.”

Taako gave a strangled laugh and Lup whined, catching both of their attention. “Wow, she really doesn’t think this is funny.”

“Well,” Barry started, sharing a smile with Taako. He looked the most relaxed Barry had seen him all night.

“This is why you’re my favorite,” Taako looked away as he spoke, smile falling away slowly. “You can keep a secret, right?”

He should probably be concerned. Taako was the one who made the No Secrets Rule, but Barry found himself saying “Of course, bud” without thinking twice about it.

“It’s more than my face.”

“I know.”

“More than the, the uh… modifier stuff.”

“You can fix that, you know.” All the sacrifices had been hard to watch, but there was something particularly painful about watching Taako, the elf who invented something so dexerious as surfing, stumble from room to room after that.“No, uh, actually I don’t think so.”

“I know they had the no healing, what’s given can’t be taken back, thing.” All of Edward and Lydia’s schtick seemed so cliche to Barry. Everyone thought necromancers were sadist, why did they have to live the stereotype? At least they’d stayed away from black robes and chanting, but glitz and glitter didn’t really feel like an improvement.

Lup whined at his words and Barry winced, rubbing his thumb along the back of her palm. At least she could still hear them. “Sorry babe.” He looked back to Taako. “But, uh, I’ve been looking into that. I think if I rewire some of the– Oh, don’t tell Kravitz about this.”

Another strained laugh, the sort of manic emptiness Barry hadn’t heard from his best friend since the later cycles. “That goes both ways, kemosabe.”

“I thought you showed Kravitz your face?”

Instead of explaining, Taako just nodded his head down. It was hard to see in the candle light, much dimmer after what he imagined was a pretty extensive flare up from Lup, but the shape of bruises were still there. “…what?”

“Yeah.”

“No, no, that doesn’t make sense. Why do you have bruises from over a year ago? Your blood doesn’t work like that.” Barry probably should have asked first, honestly should be focusing on bringing Lup back to them, but curiosity won out. His hand left Taako’s and he reached towards the bruises, inches away until Taako slapped his hand back.

“I’m not one of your experiments.”

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t–”

“Don’t apologize, it’s fine.”

Barry sighed, but held out his hand, palm up. Taako slapped his own back into it. They sat in silence for a moment, a small circle of connection in the candlelight, and it was almost peaceful. Barry hated that this still happened, of course he did, but he sometimes wondered if the twins appreciated these moments together. Then again, Barry didn’t really appreciate them like he should have until they were stolen for a decade.

Taako wouldn’t look at him so Barry’s attention drifted back to Lup. Her ears twitched but she stared ahead at the wall, unfocused. “We should probably keep talking if we want to bring her back,” he whispered.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Both the twins ears flipped down and Barry tried not to laugh.

“Come on, Taako, I rolled an eleven, you have to tell me.”

“Bullshit you did!” Taako broke into a grin but it was chased away just as fast when he realized how loud he’d been. Lup didn’t seem to react to the noise. “Talking about it is what did this to her.”

“No, a bunch of bad luck–” Both twins winced and Barry bit back a curse. “Sorry. A lot of shitty coincidences did this to her. And other people, bad people, did this to her. Not you.”

Taako shook his head, but Barry was already saying the same thing each of them had all been tasked with saying before. “We didn’t cause this. We’re just trying to survive it.”

It was hard to watch Taako squeeze his eyes shut, easier to feel the pain of him squeezing Barry’s hand. It was like he was going to say something, but he couldn’t move his mouth past the first syllable.

“I mean, it’s not like she’s going to get worse,” Barry prompted, “You might as well talk about it now.”

“You might get worse,” Taako whispered and Barry squeezed his hand.

“Whether Lup believes it or not, she did everything she could to help you. So did I. I don’t regret that.”

Taako looked up at him, still so tired. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

It took a second to figure out what he meant, and Barry almost felt bad when he smiled and Taako glowered at him. “I don’t regret that either.”

“Look, I don’t want to make you feel bad but how–”

“At the time, it was our best shot at survival.” Barry pressed on. “I don’t regret making the Animus Bell. I haven’t for years.” He’d said that before, to himself in the mirror of the cave he had to call home. It was hard to say then, but once he did it felt like a weight off his shoulders. It felt important. And it still felt so good to say it again now.

“Yeah, well, I guess you had time to for all that self growth,” Taako grumbled and Barry tried not to roll his eyes. He felt Lup’s fingers twitch in his and failed to hold down a smile. Maybe the two of them had been lucky, of everyone dealing with Lucretia’s choice. It felt easy to forgive her. And it was frustrating watching everyone else drag their feet about it.

“I’m not mad at her either,” Barry continued, despite Taako’s clear irritation. “I never really was. She was doing what she thought was the only option. Just like me and Lup had our hands tied in Wonderland. We were all trying our best.”

He watched Taako grind his teeth, backed into a corner where he couldn’t hurt Lucretia without hurting everyone else too. It probably shouldn’t be entertaining but, well, Taako usually had the upper hand in all their interactions, it was nice to finally mark a tally in the win column for Barry.

“You’re a dick.”

“Yeah.” Barry just shrugged, absolutely unrepentant. “So you want to list your symptoms for me or should I just ask Merle? He gave me a list of stuff to work on for Magnus. His is a lot more mental, but the base arcana is still the same.”

Taako’s ears twitched and he looked down at his bruised knees. “I figured that’s why they still look so bad. Merle tried to heal me but the…” He swallowed heavily, like the thought alone was bile in his mouth. “The un-healing I think left some necrotic scarring.”

“That would do it.” Barry gently loosened his grip from Taako’s hand and hovered over the knee. “May I?”

“Yeah just don’t… it’s acting up because of the holiday.”

“I’m amazed you were dancing on it,” Barry said as he checked the arcana. Taako’s proficiency in the category was high, of course, but Barry was a necromancy expert.

“It’s probably what made it hurt so much when Lup touched it. It’s never been this bad before.”

Barry frowned, staring at the runes he could see around the wound, running the numbers in his head. “It’ll get worse if you don’t take it easy.”

“What?”

“You’re right about the necrotic scarring. It’s completely preventing any healing, even the minor stuff our bodies do to recover from day to day wear. Your own system has… I guess the only word is absorbed the magic? The damage is really in there.”

Taako just shrugged. “Told ya you couldn’t fix it.”

Barry felt frustration prickle under his skin. With the blessing of his Queen, he wasn’t prone to fits of red crackling energy, but the wild magic the made his soul was still more volatile than most. “I can still help. But I might have had a better shot if you told someone about it sooner.”

Taako gestured to Lup, making a face like Barry was an idiot, and that only irritated him more. “She’s going to be fine, Taako. If anything, she’s mostly going to be pissed you lied to her.”

“I didn’t lie to anyone!”

“What are you other symptoms?” Barry challenged and Taako nearly snarled at him. “How can Merle and I start working on treatment if we don’t know what we’re treating?”

“You told me you weren’t going to tell anyone about this.”

That threw Barry for a loop and he felt the tremor in his fingertips ease up. “Merle doesn’t know?”

They had all been close on the Starblaster. In different small groups, shuffled in different combinations, each with their own jokes and special moments, though most stories connected everyone together. After the Bureau of Balance, Barry had assumed ‘Tres Horny Boys’ still shared that unique connection.

“Barry,” Taako took his hand back and squeezed lightly. “You can’t tell them.”

“You made the secret keeping rule,” he tried but it sounded weak even to his own ears.

“I know what I said.” Taako broke their gaze and took a deep breath. “It’s mostly just my legs. They took the weight of the washing machine and I think the brunt of the Dex loss. Everything else isn’t really important. My face sucks but it’s– I mean Lup’s right. We still look related. I mostly just keep it up because I don’t want people poking around asking questions like you idiots.” Barry smiled and Taako managed to look up at him, relaxing again. His smile faded away but he kept looking at Barry “When you said it’ll get worse…” he trailed off, fingers twitching in Barry’s grip.

“Taako, I’m not a healer–”

“Necromancy is just late healing,” Lup’s voice was gravel, but sounded like a siren’s call to Barry. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back, but her eyes stayed foggy. He watched Taako’s leg started bouncing, fighting down the urge both of them struggled with to tackle Lup in a hug when she came back. These quiet moments of comfort used to be just messy piles of cuddling back on the Starblaster. They were still like that when Barry was the one having a bad day. But after the umbrella, after a hundred things Taako still wont talk about, too much touch could be overwhelming. So they squeezed Lup’s hands and she squeezed back. That was enough for now.

“Welcome back,” Barry whispered and she smiled.

“Thanks. I think we’re getting better at this.”

Taako barked a laugh and Lup broke her hand from his to punch his shoulder. She didn’t need to look at him for her aim to be true. “Ow! I was only gonna say that we might be better if Barry and I didn’t spend the whole time fighting.”

“We weren’t fighting, we were discussing.”

Taako just rolled his eyes, taking his hand away from Barry to rub at his shoulder.

“Barry’s right though,” Lup continued, still staring ahead. “The three of us are the best arcanist in the multiverse, but our biological knowledge is pretty limited.”

“I don’t know if I’d trust Merle’s biological knowledge,” Taako grumbled.

“Even if you did, you’re worried about telling him.”

“Oh, now you get an insight modifier, huh Barold? Fuck off.”

Barry just sighed and reached for Taako’s hands. He put one back in Lup’s and took the other in his own. “I’m not trying to put you on blast. You’ve got a good point. Merle’s losses were mostly physical, like yours. I don’t know what he’s deal with. But I think I know who does.”

“Nooo.” Taako whined in a way that meant he knew exactly who Barry was talking about. He tilted his head back, then his whole body, leaning his weight to pull at everyone’s arms. Lup started leaning with him, but pulled herself back up. She blinked once, twice, and finally shifted her gaze to Barry. She pushed forward, letting Taako bobble behind her, as she kissed Barry on the cheek.

“See, Lup agrees with me. You gotta tell Cap’nport.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s the captain. He’ll know what to do.”

He watched the emotions play out over Taako’s face and mentally took a second tally in the Barry win column. “Fine,” Taako admitted. “But not today.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s tomorrow,” Barry shrugged and Lup laughed, kissing him again.

“I hate both of you. I’m not doing this until after Candlenights.”

“Come on, Cap’n, it’s a big week! Memorize that schedule!” Ah, so it was Taako then. The forced cheer in his voice was something to look into, but not now. Davenport wasn’t awake enough for that yet, and despite ignoring the flyer, he already knew they had a big Candlenights’ week ahead of them. There was a formal gala in Neverwinter tonight, the speech for which Davenport wrote before he even docked his boat, and another event in Goldcliff tomorrow. Parties from Merle’s bar to Raven’s Roost littered the rest of the week, ending with one final massive celebration here.

They were saving gifts for the eighth day, so Davenport figured he could stay that long. Maybe he’d stay until Angus went back to school. How their crew adopted a child, he would never understand. Half of them were still children themselves, Magnus and Lucre–

He tried not to crack the empty mug when he put it in the sink a little harder than he should have. Might as well get this over with.

“I’d say that was a successful Candlenights,” Taako mumbled, a week later. He was curled around the literal Grim Reaper, something Davenport didn’t have the brain power to continue to be baffled by, since he felt as hungover as Taako sounded.

“It ain’t over yet!” Lup cheered and the remaining mortals of the crew groaned at the noise. She was unfazed, plucking out packages from under the dimly glowing Candlenights bush and tossing them towards whatever name was scrawled across their tags. It wasn’t long until the living room transformed into a sea of crumpled wrapping paper and emptied boxes.

“I thought we fuckin’ talked about this!” Merle laughed, gesturing to Angus, who was surrounded with five copies of the latest Caleb Cleveland novel. The boy didn’t seem to mind, chattering with Mavis about having copies to lend to his friends. Lup had already put on the “Liches Get Kisses” shirt Davenport had gotten her, trying to convince Barry to stop cleaning up and wear his matching shirt with her. Mookie jumped into whatever attempt at cleaning had been started, as though it were a pile of leaves in autumn.

It felt right, seeing his family enjoying themselves like this. Strange, but right, like the universe had been shifted just a degree to the left this whole time and had finally clicked into place. Davenport wondered if he could stay here forever, laughing with them.

“Thank you,” Lucretia whispered, sitting in an armchair to his left, and Davenport was suddenly reminded that he definitely needed more coffee. That he definitely wasn’t going to stay on shore forever. She was clutching the ship in a bottle he’d given her like it was more precious than any of her journals, but Davenport didn’t respond. He kept his eyes forward, hopped off the couch, and walked right past her. She didn’t follow.

“I just don’t get it. Lup was really insistent about it.” Magnus and Taako were sitting together, voices low. Or at least, low for Magnus. He was gathering a collection of wrapping paper into a trash bag, and Taako seemed to be ‘supervising’. The hand carved umbrella was sitting in his lap, the odd gift from Lup and Magnus. “I thought the two of you would never look at another umbrella again.”

“It was probably a joke. Lup’s weird like that.”

“She asked for the sturdiest oak I had. We had to make an extra trip to Raven’s Roost for it. Not that I mind but it seemed pretty elaborate for a joke.”

“What do you want me to say, Mags?” Taako’s voice was strained, the same nervousness Davenport heard a week before. “It’s a great gift, I like it. Would you stop bugging me about it?”

The couch shifted and Taako was standing, walking past Davenport without seeming to notice him as he went upstairs. Magnus didn’t follow, neither did Davenport, though both of them wanted to.

Being retired had several drawbacks, Davenport was realizing. He definitely couldn’t leave until he figured out what was going on– not just with Taako, but both twins and Barry seemed more squirrelly than usual. When they were on the Starblaster, he was fine with waiting. Secrets were hard to keep for very long when they all lived so close. Now though, he might be halfway around the world by the time someone felt comfortable enough to talk. If he has to wait around long enough for this crew to have an emotionally vulnerable conversation, he might as well burn his boat.

So in the quiet of the next morning, he was in no rush as he prepared his coffee. It wasn’t long before whispering started, just outside the kitchen, and Davenport grinned into his mug. If those three were at least talking to each other, it was a push in the right direction.

Literally, in this case, as Taako nearly fell into the kitchen. The strange gift caught him, his knuckles turning white as they gripped the wooden handle and the tip of the umbrella scrapped against the tile floor. “Yeah! Great idea! Fucking push me, after we just–” Taako stopped shouting with a wince, turning to look at who they pushed him into before glaring back at the door to the kitchen. Davenport tilted his head just enough to see Lup and Barry give Taako a thumbs up before darting away.

Taako turned back to Davenport, squinting at him with the kind of focus he gave to any particularly challenging transmutation requests. Curious, calculating, with a glimmer of determination. All that melted away and Taako sighed, collapsing bonelessly into the chair across from Davenport.

For a while, he just kept his eyes closed. Davenport watched, between sips of his coffee, as Taako intentionally slowed down his breathing until he opened his eyes to meet Davenport’s gaze. He didn’t mean to turn it into a staring contest, but Taako sat forward, staring more intently now, biting back to the edge of a grin. He blinked first though, everyone in the crew always did, immediately huffing out a laugh at himself and leaning back in the chair. Less boneless from exhaustion now, more boneless in the way the twins seemed able to turn themselves from solid to liquid at will.

Just to really rub it in, Davenport continued to stare at him, unblinking, for another thirty seconds. That sent Taako into a fit of giggles and only then did Davenport blink, letting a soft smile smooth across his previously blank expression. Taako quieted down, but kept smiling. Not the performer’s grin Davenport had seen all week, but the smile he gave when Lucretia used to bring them cucumber sandwiches after they all spent too long in the labs. Davenport was pretty sure that it was a smile Taako expected no one to have seen.

The joyful look faded away, whatever Taako had been sent in here to discuss coming back to the forefront of his mind. He broke eye contact, glancing down at the new umbrastaff he was still clutching. There was the sharp smell of magic, just for a second, before it drifted away like mist, then Taako was looking at him again.

Davenport had more than a lifetime to memorize his crew, but even that didn’t spare him from the power of the Voidfish. When Taako, Merle, and Magnus walked into the Bureau of Balance, Davenport couldn’t recognize them. He couldn’t express it at the time, and he maybe still couldn’t really find the words to explain it now, but the arcane energy around them was familiar, even if their faces were just static.

So when Taako came back from their final mission, when the Hunger became a story to tell around campfires, Davenport could sense the energy lingering on his crew. It was stronger now. Their connections to each other had once powered the bond engine, and now the bond engine had returned that gift. The seven of them, and all those that they’d brought into their strange little family, were vibrant with that arcana, especially to Davenport, who’d dedicated his life to the study of that magic.

Illusion magic had been a hobby before the Starblaster. With a century of time on his hands, and the rest of the wizards in his crew already having claim to the other schools of magic, Davenport could sense the shifts in that arcana too, even if he couldn’t see them.

When Taako came back from their last mission, it wasn’t just bond energy on him. The dropping of this altered Disguise Self spell wasn’t really shocking to Davenport. The results weren’t either– this face was more familiar than the static had been. He could see why Taako was upset though, could see that Taako had been upset, rather recently if the smudged mascara and deep bags under his eyes were anything to go by.

At the end of it all, though, the face was the same. Tired, curious, determined. Davenport held his gaze, and nodded. Taako laughed, softly, like that was funny in a way he hadn’t expected and couldn’t explain. He stood up, rather suddenly, but Davenport wasn’t confused for long. He let out a low whistle, didn’t need to roll a high arcana check to know scarring like that was the least pleasant kind of dark magic. Taako rolled his eyes, leaning on the umbrastaff, trying for casual and missing it by just a few inches.

Davenport was up now too, moving around Taako before he really realized what he was doing. Taako rolled his eyes again, whole body moving with him, but he didn’t walk away. Just let Davenport check him over, like this was just another mission as they sped through the stars. It didn’t matter that they’d stopped running, Davenport was still his Captain.

“So I’m pretty sure it’s scurvy,” Taako broke the silence and Davenport, satisfied that Taako wasn’t about to immediately keel over, burst out with a deep laugh that nearly knocked him off his own feet. He sat back down and Taako joined him, twisting his wrist to transmute his shorts back to long, soft flannel.

“But…” he started again, trailing off. Davenport watched a few different emotions play across this almost familiar face, each half-formed before flowing into the next. Nervousness of a few different kinds, for probably a few hundred reasons, finally settled into a sheepish play at determination. New face or not, the twins were still exactly the same. “I think I’d like for Merle to look at it?”

Davenport nodded, reaching for his coffee before realizing the mug was empty. When he looked back at Taako, his expression had twisted back up with a fake smile and too wide eyes.

“How is Merle doing?” He asked, laughing to try and elevate the weight of the words. Davenport leveled Taako with another unblinking expression, not as neutral as before, brow arching when Taako still didn’t cave. It took longer than Davenport would have liked, but Taako eventually slouched over.

“He doesn’t know. I haven’t told him.” There was a sharp scraping sound that made them both jump, before Taako lifted the wooden umbrastaff and placed it carefully on the table. He glanced down, but Davenport was sure whatever scuff he’d made against the tile would come off with half a cantrip.

When Taako looked back at him, still rattled from the noise or the confession, Davenport sighed. “We’re family, Taako. Ten years doesn’t change that. We always know, even if we don’t know exactly what it is or how we know it.”

Taako looked away, fingers twitching along the handle of his spell focus. “It was that obvious, huh?”

“No, your magic is good. You learned from the best after all.” Davenport grinned and Taako managed to do so as well. He let the moment linger before he got up to refill his coffee mug. “If you want to know how Merle’s doing,” he said, not looking back. He already knew how Taako would respond to this. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Taako groaned, loud and over dramatic and predictable. When Davenport turned around, the elf’s face was pressed against the table.

“Am I wrong?”

“No,” Taako whined.

Silence spread over the kitchen again. It had been comfortable before, and it still was now, but it felt lighter. After some time, Davenport wasn’t really sure how long, Taako peeled himself off the table and prepared what smelled like oolong. Davenport raised an eyebrow and Taako just flapped a hand at him. A story for another time.

The silence was punctured by Taako slurping at the last dregs of his tea. Davenport realized his own coffee had gone cold. He wasn’t surprised he’d lost track of time, another side effect of the last decade, but he was trying not to let it bother him as much.

“Lup wants you to talk to Cresha.”

Davenport wasn’t exactly sure what face he pulled, but Taako huffed a laugh at it. So much for not letting it bother him. “Look, Cap, I agree. I’m just saying.”

“And why isn’t Lup telling me this herself?”

Taako opened his mouth but seemed to realize he didn’t have an answer. He ticked through the same emotions he came in here with. Curiosity, frustration, grim determination. Davenport didn’t need him to say whatever answer he’d come to.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he offered and Taako nodded.

It seemed like he had something more to say, but he didn’t open his mouth again. Instead, he stretched out his legs and took the umbrastaff off the table. It’s point clicked a single, clear note against the floor as he stood. He didn’t immediately leave. Davenport realized, dully, that he wasn’t going to be able to leave either. The itch to explore was deep in his bones, back with a vengeance after so many years dormant, but the world would still be waiting for him in a few more days. Weeks, maybe. The least Davenport could do was take his own advice.

He reached a hand out, gripping Taako’s wrist. There was only a moment of confusion on his expression before Taako placed his own hand on Davenport’s outstretched arm. He seemed sturdy, comfortable in this kitchen he and Lup had crafted together. With only the faintest squeeze around his wrist, Davenport loosened his grip and Taako did the same.

More sharp, focused clicks from the umbrastaff against the tile and Taako was gone. It was nearly noon though, so the lingering silence was short lived.

“So how’d it go?” Lup’s voice rang through the house.

They didn’t often bring up the strangely intimate details they’d shared during that strangely intimate meeting-turned-date at the Chug N’ Squeeze, but when they did, only a few things had changed. Taako still often felt out of place, but he knew he had people who wanted him around. Kravtiz’s undeath still hadn’t really been his choice, but he was content with what he’d been given.

Content wasn’t enough though, not in Taako’s opinion. With two new reapers on the force, Kravitz had enough time for a live among mortals. He had enough time to keep up with the insanity of being part of the Starblaster family, surely he could find time to follow his calling from life. But any time Taako brought it up, tried to get him to play the piano that sat in their living room or the guitar that Magnus had made a few candlenights ago, Kravitz hesitated. He’d make some excuse about professions and destinies and “oh is that the Queen calling?”

Taako was done toeing around the subject. His husband was going to get everything he ever wanted, whatever anxieties holding him back from asking for it be damned. There was nothing to hold Taako back, not when he was an interplanar celebrity with all the resources either of them could dream of.

“So Ren got it all worked together and the kids seem thrilled, bunch of tiny nerds. But for the life of me, I still can’t find a conductor.” Taako was impressed with his own poker face- Kravitz always said he had a tell when his cards were good, but right now the reaper didn’t suspect a thing. His fork had been frozen, hanging with half spooled pasta ever since Taako had mentioned a “new music department.”

He let the natural pause draw out a little unnaturally, until Kravitz seemed to snap back to reality, spooling the rest of his pasta a little too frantically. “That’s very exciting, love. I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“What about you?” He could help but show his metaphorical cards as he grinned.

“What?”

“How would you like to conduct the Taako’s School of Wizardry, Cantrips and other Magicks academic orchestra? It’s not exactly Fantasy Carnegie Hall, most of the kids are fairly below your skill level, but you’ll still have fun.”

“Taako, I can’t.” Kravitz shook his head.

“Flex scheduling. If you’ve got work, the kids can have a study hall.” He’d played this discussion out in his mind a thousand times already, every counterpoint was accounted for. “I’ll have a substitute for when you go on longer missions.”

Kravitz put his fork down. “I have sworn my time to my Queen.”

“Who has repeated told you and me and Lup and Barold and literally anyone who will listen that she wishes her ‘best reaper and favorite child’ would take more time for himself.”

Kravitz laughed at Taako’s poor impression of a goddess and Taako grinned. At least his husband didn’t look so tense anymore. He almost looked like he was considering the offer.

“I really am out of practice though.”

“They’re kids, they’re learning too.”

“What if they don’t—“

Taako put his hand over Kravitz’s, almost uncharacteristically serious as they locked eyes. “They will love you. You’re going to be amazing.” He felt an echo of his own goddess through him and Taako pulled back, running that same hand, now shaking, through his hair. “Besides,” he tried for causal, “they can’t give you a hard time because your husband is the headmaster. They’ll have detention for life if you they so much as look at you wrong. You’ve got nothing to worry about, my man.”

“I—“ Kravitz looked at where Taako’s hand had been, like he felt the brief swell of ethereal power too. He looked back at his pasta and tried to fight down a grin. Discussion won, game over, all chips to Taako. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, most folks I hire usually ask when they start, and I already checked with bird mom— your first day’s Monday.”

Kravitz blinked at his pasta, then looked up to Taako. “What day is it today?” He tilted his head, birdlike. That and his disastrous inability to understand time on the material plane shouldn’t be so damn adorable, but it was.

“Saturday.”

“What?!” Kravitz stood so quickly, his chair fell over. He righted it, before making his way out of the dining room. “Sorry, love.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have to lesson plan!” He was halfway into the living room, but turned around to quickly kiss Taako on the cheek. “Dinner was amazing, thank you, love.” And he was gone again. There was some shuffling through their vast record collection and some muttering about which composers to start with. Taako couldn’t even be mad about getting stuck with the dishes, not when Kravitz grinned at him like he really was the only reason his undead heart was beating.

“It’s about time I check out with this music department is doing! Make sure it’s worth keeping around!” Taako made his way through the halls of his school, Ren at his side and rolling her eyes. The students who overheard, tuning their instruments outside one of the building's rehearsal spaces, seemed unfazed. The semester had only started two months ago, but that was more than enough time to know their headmaster was often over dramatic with very little true intent behind it. The arts would never lose funding at this school.

Taako let the double doors slam open to announce his entrance, ignoring Ren lecturing about damages and the odds of a good strength roll. Kravitz was in one of the audience seats, next to a young cellist. The sharp sound had him on his feet, but whatever half motion he’d started to summon his scythe stopped when he saw Taako.

“Hello darling.” He grinned as he made his way up the amphitheater stairs and gave Taako a quick kiss on the cheek. The elf’s heeled boots were so tall, Kravitz didn’t even need to lean down to reach him.

“Hi babe,” Taako dropped his ruthless headmaster facade for a moment, before brushing past his husband. “So, your spring concert is coming up.”

“Yes,” Kravitz followed him back down the stairs, trying to follow his train of thought.

“I wanna see it.” He moved into the center of the third row, kicking up his boots onto the back of the chair in front of him. Ren sat next to him, immediately shoving his boots back to the floor. “Or hear it, whatever. Sneak preview for you boss.”

“Oh, I was unaware the Raven Queen was on campus.” Kravitz’s cheeky grin almost broke through Taako’s facade again, a smile twitching on the edge of his lips before he steeled his expression.

“Don’t get cute with me, Mr. Kravitz. I sign your paycheck.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure Ren signs them.” Kravitz shot her a wink and she laughed while Taako gave a frustrated groan.

“Whatever,” he dragged out the word as far as it could go, kicking his feet up again. “Make with the music.”

Kravitz gathered his students on the stage, whispering a pep talk as they set up their instruments. “I’m so proud” “It’s just Headmaster Taako, nothing to worry about, trust me,” and other endearing snippets that Taako could only barely hear from his seat, but they were enough to win a smile out of him. Kravitz tuned back to the audience, locking eyes with Taako and all but beaming. He fidgeted with the lines of his suit, with the conductor’s baton in his hand, but the nerves were nothing compared to the obvious outpouring of joy. Taako never had any doubts his plan was flawless, but seeing just how happy Kravitz was to be on the stage again was something else entirely.

Kravitz always seemed to glow when he smiled, eyes closing and cheekbones doing all the right things as his perfect lips showed off his perfect teeth. Taako knew he could never look like that. He was more comfortable with a smirk, a scowl, or sharp words on his lips. He had fierce smiles for the press, charming looks for photos with the crew, but whatever was happening to his face when he saw Kravitz like this felt completely out of his control. His nose was scrunched up, his eyes showed his age. His smile was goofy and lopsided but, surprisingly, he was okay with that. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t Taako™, but sharing a moment like this with Kravitz felt good.

The moment passed when Kravitz turned back towards his students, but the warm feeling lingered even as the first cheerful notes filled the space. It sounded flawless, even without any musical training Taako could tell that much. Yet he couldn’t focus on the music; Kravitz held his attention. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Before their century across the cosmos, Taako and Lup didn’t exactly have the means to see live music beyond a drunken bard in some bar. Even at Legato, Taako didn’t spend any time with the musicians. And after the stolen century was basically like before.

Maybe he thought it would be sharp, neat movements, like the flawless lines of Kravitz’s suit. He’d keep time with the same dedication to order that he kept the laws of life and death with.

It was nothing like that. It was chaos and passion. While Lup and Barry had turned a worldwide performance into a space where only the two of them existed, Kravitz turned a rehearsal into a screaming declaration of every emotion anyone could dare to imagine. The braids of his hair were flying in all directions as he used both hands to ramp up the music. His whole body chased crescendos and it looked like a beautiful mess of movement to someone like Taako, who didn’t have a clue how conducting actually worked.

Honestly, without the swell of notes following his command, Kravitz would look ridiculous. It was more passion than Taako every willingly put into anything he did. Kravitz gave himself over to the art, to the melody of sound, so eagerly, excited to have his heart on display, treating an audience of two as though they were two million. Taako had never felt more in love. It was like the cheerful spring symphony was rising up in him too and suddenly he had to see Kravitz’s face.

Rolling high on his stealth check, Taako got out of his seat and out of the aisle. He took the stairs at the stage left wing and found himself staring.

Kravitz had been a bard in life, Taako knew that, but now he understood it. He was so intrinsically linked with the music. It commanded his expressions, his whole body. Or maybe the other way around. The smallest twitch of Kravitz’s fingers called for violins, the rise of his brow brought trumpets, a twist of his wrist gave life to a humble page of notes. As the song came to an end, peaceful as each gentle cord faded away, Kravitz’s serene smile remained.

Taako couldn’t help himself; the final note landed and he had already sprinted across the stage to kiss his husband. Ren was laughing, the students were laughing, it was all so joyful but all that sound was merely background noise to Taako. He could hear nothing but the echo of Kravitz’s music until he broke away to breathe.

“Not bad, Professor Kravitz, not bad.”

Now Kravitz joined the laughter with his perfect face and his perfect smile all perfectly scrunched up. “Thank you, love.” There was weight behind the words, more than just grace in receiving a compliment. He may not have noticed Taako’s plan as it first began those months ago at dinner, but it was obvious to see now. Did a music department make sense at a non-bardic institution? Not exactly, but nothing like ‘academic standards’ would get in the way of Taako making sure Kravitz had everything he ever wanted. Right now though, with his husband in his arms and the sound of joyful friends around him, Kravitz couldn’t imagine anything he wanted more.