jason never really took care of himself after dying. his body was so hopelessly out of rhythm, everything slightly wrong and out of place. his bones creak underneath his skin, his muscles, which had nearly rotted and decayed, could never quite figure out how to relax. sometimes heâd forget to breathe, or blink, the actions no longer involuntary, and before you? he didnât have it in himself to care. his health had fallen to the least of his worries.
but you were always so worried about him. you noticed things about himself he hadnât even realized, how he winced when he chewed with the left side of his mouth, how he squinted at street signs whenever you went on walks, how his muscles were always tense until you massaged them into relaxation. you pointed them out, pouting whenever heâd shrug it off. to him, it was nothing, he was used to the pain, the inconvenience; he didnât consider his own wellbeing important enough to pay any mind to.
to you, it was torture. watching the man you loved so dearly treat himself with so little care had you ruined. all you wanted for him was happiness and safety, for him to have what he had given you so freely, what he guarded himself from so intensely. he didnât realize how much you cared until he noticed how much you finally pushed him to treat himself better.
âi scheduled you a dentist appointment.â you said, matter-of-factly setting down a few documents in front of him begging his patient history. he looked up to you, eyebrow raised, entirely confused. you answered his question before he could even think to ask it. âyou wince when you chew.â
he wouldnât say no to you. despite his disdain regarding the idea of a check up, he went. you came with him, fiercly speaking a language of medicine he didnât understand. when he left the dentist, you gave him a lollipop. âiâm not five.â he ate it anyways, savoring the taste between strawberry-stained lips as you drove him home.
he stopped noticing when you made him appointments to get shots, or when you subtly slipped the card of a dermatologist behind the picture of you he kept in his wallet. he started actually caring about what he did to his bodyâ gut health and all that. yes, he was jacked, his body had been built like a machine ever since it had patched itself back together in the lazarus pit, but he couldnât remember the last time he ate a piece of fruit.
he didnât realize how much better he felt until dick pointed it out for him. âyou got glasses?â he asked, pointing to the thick black frames that sat on the bridge of his nose.
he nodded. he does wear glasses. he has silver caps on two of his teeth. he has a nice layer of body fat covering his muscles because he eats three well-balanced meals a day. he has a standing appointment with a chiropractor every other wednesday at two, and another with a therapist on mondays at one. he gets a checkup every six months and goes to the dentist every four, heâs been to the dermatologist three times in two years, he has all of his shots up to date, he takes vitamins in the morning and he sleeps at least five hours every night.
he cares about himself. he puts effort into making sure he stays healthyâ and at first it was for you. only for you, to ease your constant worry about him. but now itâs second nature, your guiding hand has healed him, made him want to stay alive and healthy and whole, not for just you, but for himself.
the moment the realization washes over him of just how much youâve given him, he rushes home and tells you in no less than a thousand ways just how grateful he is to have your love.
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you're a teacher, currently trying to fill up your summer vacation with freelance work when you stumble into not one, but two situationships with clark kent, the adorkable reporter from the daily planet, and superman, the hero you can't stop running into. overall? you're having a very interesting break.
wk: 14.8k (worth it i pinky swear)
the best and the worst part of teaching is that you never stop having summer breakâ two and a half months of pure boredom and relaxation that always go the same. you find a job, you visit family, you take random classes at the community center just to get yourself out of the house. you really did not expect this year to be any different, any better. you expected the same boredom, the same routine, the same desperation to find someone to occupy your time.Â
however, you didnât count on clark kent to stumble into your life and take your world by storm.Â
you met in late may, the first time you came around the daily planet selling pictures for the paper. you spent a lot of your free time behind a camera, capturing moments you didnât want to loseâ and you really needed some extra cash. metropolis might pay better than most cities, but at the end of the day, a teacherâs salary is a teacherâs salary.Â
you were hopelessly turned around, clutching a small, manilla file that was nearly overflowing with the photographs you felt were relevant enough to submit with one hand and biting your freshly manicured thumbnail with the other, staring up at the very useless building directory, reading the names and numbers with little understanding. the receptionist had told you to go to perry whiteâs office for your meetingâ but she hadnât been so kind to tell you exactly where you could find it.Â
the signs were no help. you are embarrassingly lost, andâ
âneed any help?â
you turn around, dropping your hands to your sides. youâre met kindly with the direct view of a manâs chest, forcing you to tilt your head up to meet his gaze.
and there he was. six foot four, built like a linebacker and stuffed into a suit, wearing glasses that looked a bit too small and a smile that seemed a bit too warm. the man you would come to know as clark kentâ the center of your universe.
and those eyes. bluer than the ocean, captivating you so wholly you forgot to breathe. oneâs that looked to you with such unequivocal kindness, coupled with a smile that was breathtakingly gentleâ you forgot how to breathe.Â
heâs staring down at you as if heâs not the only one who needs to catch his breath. as though he finds something about you to be just as overwhelming as you find him.Â
he pauses, clearing his throat. âi just meanâ ah, sorry, you look lost. i-i can help you. i work here. uh, reporterâ um, i meanââ he takes a deep breath, extending a hand. âclark kent.âÂ
god, heâs adorable.Â
you smile up at him, taking his hand in yours and giving it a gentle shake. you note how large and uncalloused his hand is, and try to ignore the shocks of electricity you feel with that first, all-consuming touch. you tell him your name, thankful that you donât manage to stumble over your words, and he jots it down in the back of his head like itâs sacred. âiâm looking for mr. whiteâs office? i have some pictures for the paper.â you explain, holding up your file.Â
âoh, yeah, thatâs my boss. iâll walk you there.â he says, looking down at you with a soft grin that renders you so useless you nearly forget why youâre here. carefully, he motions for you to follow him, and you oblige, walking slowly down the arched hallways of the daily planet at his side. your heart begins to pound out of your chest.
thereâs a beat of silence as you walk, before he breaks it with, âcan i see them?â
he points to the folder in your hands, the one that youâre clutching like a lifeline. you hand it over without a second thoughtâ how are you supposed to say no to the ridiculously cute, dorky guy guiding you through the building? youâre just not.Â
he cards through them carefully, commenting on the quality, the angles, the color grading, basically just complimenting every picture while you try not to swoon. he pulls one of the prints out of the file, a rare picture of superman you managed to get two weeks ago. you consider it the strongest picture in your portfolio. most of the photos of superman are blurs of red and blue, or shaky selfies heâs taken with fans. this one is still, certainâ hopeful. you took it candidly. he was crouched with a kid, one of your students, helping him fix his broken project with gentle hands.Â
you think about that moment every now and then. it changed you from a casual viewer of supermanâs heroics to someone who supported him completely. you watched him stop, and with hands capable of much greater things, sooth the worries of a child when he could have been doing anything else. it instilled a kind of faith in humanity you hadnât felt in a long time.Â
âi like this one.â he mumbles, sliding it out of the folder, staring at it like it means as much to him as it does to you. superman fan, noted.Â
he pauses, staring at it a second longer than he did your other pictures, memorizing every detail before sliding it back inside the folder. âi donât see how perry wouldnât buy theseâ youâre an amazing photographer.â he says with a smile, handing you back the file.Â
you do your best not to turn completely red at the compliment, looking up to meet his gaze. âiâm a teacher, actually.â you explain, bouncing on the balls of your feet. âjust looking for a side hustle. that picture of superman? heâs helping one of my kids.âÂ
âreallyâ? wow thatâs really, uh, very cool.â he says, wearing a smile that you try your best not to read into. you both stop in front of an office with the name Perry White stamped across the door in shiny silver lettering. as anxious as you are to start the meeting, your heart sinks when you realize your time with clark is over. âwell⌠good luck.â he says, all shy and dorky in a way that makes your knees weak. âi have a feeling iâm gonna see you around.â
you canât help but grin, thanking him for walking youâ and for the vote of confidence. you really donât want to say goodbye, not when one look from him already disarms you.
he opens the door for you, and heâs lucky enough that you donât realize how long he lingers by the office, memorizing every detail he can catalogueâ the way you stand so confidently, yet with a demeanor that is so kind and genuine it makes him reevaluate everything heâs been looking for, the way the draft from the vent in perryâs office blows through your hair and makes you look like a movie star, the way you speak like itâs your favorite thing to do.Â
you leave the meeting with a steady freelance gig, and a yellow post-it note you hadnât noticed earlier, tucked into an interior pocket inside your file.Â
i really hope you call me (xxx-xxx-xxx)Â
-clark :)
youâre in your apartment when you find the note, and you canât help but giggle like a schoolgirl, heat rising to your ears and dusting your face a rosy shade of pink. you waste no time dialing that number.
ââ
you meet superman before you see you clark again. actually, youâre on your way home to get ready for your first date with clark, trying to not let the nerves and anticipation shake you.Â
youâre excited. likeâ bouncing off of the walls, canât stop thinking about him kind of excited. you text constantly, and he calls you like talking to you is the highlight of his day, not some chore he has to do to maintain a relationship. youâve been talking for about a week, and all the time with him has done is confirm your many blooming suspicions about him: heâs sweet, gentle, incredibly well-spoken and not afraid to be open about his interest in you in this shy, dorky kind of way that makes you kind of want to melt.Â
youâre practically skipping down the street when it happens. itâs barely sunset, but you suppose crime doesnât really depend on time of day anymore, not in the era of aliens and meta-humans. a hand darts out of the alleyway, grabs your arm, and pulls you into the shadows. before you can think to scream, to ask for help, anythingâ thereâs a knife at your throat and you realize that your silence is a lot more valuable than your survival instinct.
âwallet, now.â you can barely see himâ a combination of the dark alleyway and blurry vision. you make out dark clothes, dark eyes, and an expression that tells you to comply with whatever he says.Â
your heart is beating so loudly you can feel it in your fingers. youâre shaking like a leafâ fumbling with your wallet, trying to hand it to the mugger.Â
it drops from your hands. you look up at the man, eyes wide with the overwhelming fear for your life. you fucked up. itâs over. you can practically envision your funeral: sad, sparse, the death of someone whoâs never really lived. you slam your eyes shut.
but then thereâs a gust of wind, and the knife disappears from your neck.
it takes a moment for you to breathe, to process, to blink open yours and face a blue chest with a red and yellow emblem.
âare you okay, maâam?âÂ
your gaze moves up to meet his. youâre not all there yet. thereâs still adrenaline moving like shocks of lightning down your veins and the phantom breath of death sticking up the hairs on your neck. all you can really focus on is his eyes. impossibly blue like the deep sea, captivating you so wholly you forget yourself for a beat too long.
âmaâam?â he repeats, and his voice less authoritative. instead a gentle, concerned call to your senses, breaking out of your haze.Â
you down, taking a deep breath. âyes, uhâŚâ your hand darts to your neck, feeling for any imprint the knife couldâve left. youâre grateful to find nothing but untainted skin, like it had never happened at all. âiâm fine.âÂ
he nods, but thereâs something in his expression that tells you he isnât totally convinced. he hands you your wallet, a small, green leather clutch youâve carried around since you were eighteen. somehow it had become the last thing on your mind.
âyouâre safe, i promise.â he says, and his voice is so tender it makes you nearly forget that itâs superman standing in front of you, making sure that youâre okay. âthe dangerâs gone.â
you look up at him, eyes wide, brimming with tears you donât know if you can hold back for much longer. he leans in a little closer, just enough for you to notice, his eyes checking over you carefully. maybe youâre just thrown off, because of the whole⌠mugging situation. but he almost looks a little scared, maybe a little relieved, like you mean a bit more to him than a civilian he saved.
you shake the thought. youâve heard heâs like that anyways, kind, caring, a boy scout through and through. the look youâre seeing now canât be anything more than that.Â
he clears his throat, leaning back, taking on a more official, heroic posture. âcan i take you home, maâam?â and just like that, the momentâs over.
you nod, letting him guide you out of the alleyway with a touch that is impossibly gentle for someone youâve seen pummel aliens into the ground with a single punch. a comfortable silence hangs between you, and youâre grateful the streets are empty enough for no one to pay the pair of you any mind.Â
you must look ridiculous together. the thought makes you smile, and your adrenaline-induced panic is officially over.
 âthank you.â you say, breaking the silence. you smile up at him, craning your head to meet his gaze. he honestly looks a bit surprised that youâre thanking him. âfor⌠yâknow, saving me.â
âof course. iâm glad i made it in time.â he says with a quiet nod, his eyes meeting yours. his smile is so genuine, so human, you wonder how anyone could really hate him.Â
you miss the lovestruck look in his eyes.Â
you laugh. âme too.â you say, your hands swinging freely at your sides. âi know you donât normally handle, uh, muggings, so⌠i feel pretty lucky.âÂ
his eyes dart away, looking around at the blockâ anywhere but you, really, but he doesnât stop smiling. âwell, i try to keep an eye on the street. yâknow, on the rare days when aliens and robots donât tear apart the city.âÂ
you grin, his eyes meeting yours again. âyeah, i know.â you say, looking up at him with wide, starry eyes that make him forget heâs superman and not anything besides the man lucky enough to be by your side.
your eyes are so focused on the god beside you that you miss a step, losing your balance because the tip of your heel got caught in a sidewalk crack. you fall into himâ no, you practically dive into him, because of course you do.Â
âwoah there.â he says. his hands, which are just warm and huge and tender, carefully grab your sides and he steadies you, lifting you back onto your feet.Â
you pause, flush with embarrassment. âiâm so sorry,â you cringe, looking up at him. âmy heel got stuck because i had to humiliate myself and ruin the moment.âÂ
he laughs, sliding his hands away and looking down at you with a soft smile. âno harm done. just glad i caught you, miss.â
you pause, returning his smile with a grin that you just canât seem to push down.Â
âi saw you once, with one my students. he broke his history project, a popsicle stick model of the golden gate bridge?â
âi rememberâ jackson, right?â he asks, and thereâs something so touching about him knowing the name of the random child he helpedâ it makes you want to melt. âsmart kid, iâve never met someone so knowledgeable about geography.â he says, nodding towards you.Â
âright? heâs a little genius. iâm pushing him into architecture. i teach third grade, which is, i think, the best, âcause you get to see their passions develop in real time.â you say. youâre not sure why talking with him feels so easy, so natural. maybe itâs the whole superhero thing, or his impeccable bedside mannerâ but whatever the reason is, you canât remember the last time you smiled so much.
âthat sounds very rewarding.â he says, a gust of wind blowing his cape through the air. âi wanted to be a teacher, once.â
âgot busy?â you ask, gesturing to the suit.Â
he laughs in the sort of way where his shoulders shake and his voice booms throughout the street, even though you didnât say anything particularly hilarious.Â
âyou could say that. howâs jackson doing now?â
âheâs on his way to becoming a very talented fourth grader.â you hesitate, before you continue. âi got a picture of you two, when you helped him.â you pause, stopping in front of your apartment building. ânot in like a creepy stalker wayâ iâm a photographer too. kind of. hence the photo.âÂ
he pauses, peering down at you curiously. âmay i see it?â he asks.Â
you stop, your eyes locked with his. you canât kick that feelingâ how familiar he is. you canât quite place it, so you push it back down deep for another day. âyeah.â you say, softly, pressing on the door. âiâll be right back.â
it only takes you about a minute to retrieve the photo, digging through that same manilla file for your spare copy, the same file that clark stuck his number in. godâ you were supposed to start getting ready, like, fifteen minutes ago.Â
you pray clark is late.Â
thereâs a shadow over your window before you start heading back downstairs. right. flying. superman can fly. not crazy at all. you stumble over towards your fire escape, grinning up at him while you slide up the window.
you stick your head out, leaning on your arms, halfway out the window.Â
âhere, uh, this just a print.â you say, handing him the picture. he takes it gently, his fingers brushing against yours. he stares at it for awhile, his eyes tracing over every detail.Â
âcould i⌠keep this?â he asks, looking up at you like youâre the most important thing in the worldâ in a way that knocks the air out of your lungs.Â
you nod, because really, how could you say no when heâs staring at you like that? you didnât have a choice.
âthank you.â he says, before clearing his throat, floating back out towards the alleyway. âi, uh, i should be going.âÂ
âyou got big plans tonight?â you ask, raising an eyebrow.Â
he laughs, a soft chuckle that rings like wedding bells in your ears. âsomething like that.â he pauses again, looking back down at the picture and then up to you. ââŚsee you around⌠miss.âÂ
thereâs a burst of wind and just like that, heâs gone.Â
and maybe, just maybe, you have a tiny crush on superman.Â
ââ
your date with clark was an awkward, disastrous, messâ in all the best ways. the flowers he brought you had somehow gotten smushed, even though he insisted they came from the little shop on the corner right by your apartmentâ but they were your favorites. the restaurant lost your reservation, so you ended up having a picnic with food from the best food truck youâve ever been to. the conversation was bumpy, at times a little difficult to navigate, but by the end, you had never laughed so hard in your life.Â
you really had never met anybody like clark kent.Â
heâs a gentle giant, a man who, despite being extremely built, you truly incapable of hurting a fly. heâs also the perfect gentleman, the definition of a man. for the entire evening, he refused to let you open a door, or pay, and when you started feeling a little chilly when he was walking you back to your apartment, late at night, he tucked his jacket over your shoulders before you even had the chance to complain. heâs also just⌠kind, plain and simple. he stopped to help an old woman cross the street, to ask a kid where his mom was and led him back to his parents, and, no shit, he literally rescued a cat from a tree. mind you, all in the span of four hours. heâs a good person, the kind of guy you read about in fairytales and grow up thinking doesnât exist.
but here he is.Â
âi had a really good time tonight.â he says, lingering by your door. you nodded in absolute agreement, looking up at him with a giant, uncontrollable smile that he returns in full.Â
âyeah, me too.â you respond. the distance between you closes quickly, you lean in just enough to feel clarkâs breath ghost on your face.Â
he flushes and looks down to his feet, like heâs working himself up for somethingâ before his eyes dart back to yours. âi, uh⌠i really want to kiss you right now.âÂ
you can feel a red hot fire spread to your cheeks, and you pray that the dim light of your apartment prevents him from seeing it. your eyes meet his, staring through his glasses into a sea of endless blue.Â
youâve never actually wanted someone to kiss you more than you do right now.Â
âyeah?â you ask, your voice teasing him ever-so-slightly while you move in closer, your fingertips brushing against his.Â
âmay i?â he asks, sliding his unbelievably large hands on your sides then down to your waist, leaning over you in a way that makes you feel incredibly warm. you have to physically tilt your head back to meet his eyes, and your mood nearly sours at the idea that at some point youâll have to pull away.Â
you nod, and slowly, delicately, he leans inâ pulling your body gently against him, his lips pressing into yours. it isnât an eruption of passion, or some overwhelmingly fervent kiss, no. itâs soft, slow, sensual, an agonizingly perfect connection that makes you knees go weak when youâre in his arms.Â
itâs too short, thatâs your only complaint. he pulls away breathless, smiling down at you with a pink tint dusting his cheeks, ushers you back into your apartment and demands that you have a wonderful night, insisting that heâll call you in the morning.Â
you go to bed that night an hour later, only certain of two things.
this was going to be the best summer ever
you like clark kent so much it makes your head hurt
you want to see if superman is as good a kisser as clark
ââ
âhere.â
clark pushes a cup of coffee that is somehow still piping hot into your hands, smiling down at you. youâre not sure how he even knew you were coming to the planet today, much less when to meet you at the door, but you liked that about clark. he always knows a lot more than he lets on. you chalk it up to the investigative journalist in him.Â
âyou got me coffee?â you ask, feeling the warmth from the cup spread through your hand. apparently, no matter how hot it is outside, none of that leaks into the planet. itâs freezing.Â
âyeah, i didnât know what you liked, uh, so thereâs cream and sugarâ not too much, though, uh, well, i mean, hopefully thereâs enoughââ
you press a kiss against his cheek and that effectively cuts off his rambling and leaves him quietly flushed, his eyes focused only on you. âthanks, clark.â you say, taking a sip. itâs a bit too sweet, but so incredibly thoughtful you might just start taking your coffee this way.Â
he smiles, going red from his neck to is earsâ god, heâs so cute. âyouâre seeing perry today?â he asks, walking with you down the hall. you nod.Â
âapparently he likes my work so much i get a daily planet issued camera.â you say excitedly. clark chooses to leave out the part where he practically begged perry to lend you one, a privilege freelancers donât usually receive. he has to do an extra mountain of paperwork every night for a monthâ but gosh was it worth it to see you so giddy.
âmakes sense.â he muses. âperry rewards the incredibly talented.â
he says it in a silly way, but you can tell heâs completely serious. heâs so sweet it literally makes your teeth hurt.Â
youâve been on three other dates since the first, and youâve bumped into each other at the daily planet a couple times before thisâ everything is going extremely well. heâs so caring, thoughtful, and the more you learn about him the more infatuated you get. you swear, when he puts his hands on you it makes you dizzy.Â
itâs perfect. he is. thereâs only one issue: his constant tardiness, and his tendency to cancel last minute, or just not show up at all. it bugs you, when youâve gotten all dolled up just to have to fight back tears at midnight, forced to leave an angry voicemail or two after youâve downed a glass of box chardonnay, stuck alone, in your living room.Â
but he makes up for it with a thousand apologies and small gestures that make you wonder why you were ever mad.Â
itâs frustratingâ the doubt creeping in about whether or not he likes you, the anger of being left behind without so much as a call, the loneliness that swallows you like a black hole. but when youâre with clark, he makes sure that his feelings for you are never in doubt, swearing up and down that he just has supremely bad luck and it doesnât have a thing to do with you. still, it makes you wonder: what makes clark kent so busy?
âmy lunch break is at one,â he says, taking your folder like it makes all the sense in the world for him to carry it and not you, âif you want to hang around a bit after your meeting, we could grab something together?âÂ
you nod, looking up at him as you approach perryâs office. âthatâs perfect. i was gonna stop at the bookstore down the street and grab something for my momâs birthday. pick me up there?âÂ
âyes maâam,â he says in a way that is all too familiar, and he hands you back your folder, tucking it underneath your arm, his hand ghosting at your side. âgood luck.â
âdonât need it. iâve got you.â you say, opening the door and heading in. you donât see the way clark flushes, this time redder than a tomato, nor jimmy laughing at him from all the way from across the building.
ââ
youâre on your way to the bookstore when it happensâ the sky opens up, a giant alien-whatever pops down and starts wreaking havoc on the skyline of metropolis. the event is far enough away to where you would normally just shrug and continue on your path towards the bookstore while the people wait for superman to show up.Â
except that youâre a photographer now. professionally. and professional photographers run towards their killer shot, not away from it. besides, your meeting with perry didnât go⌠the greatest. he said most of your shots were unusableâ and he wanted more pictures of superman.
but it would be stupid to run into danger like thatâ clark would disapprove, so would probably anyone with common sense. the ground is literally shaking because that demon thing knocked a skyscraper over like legosâ you really should walk away.Â
so, obviously, you end up climbing a tree about a hundred yards away from the creature (and superman, who stepped in about a minute ago), trying to find your perfect shot. itâs stupid, really, the way that youâre about twenty feet off the ground, perched just right on the branch so that if you can get superman and the alien to stay still for half a secondâ youâll have your picture.Â
unfortunately, you hadnât accounted for the monster to have giant fireballs spewing out of its fingertips, with one specially aimed at you. foolishly, you expected it to be the normal kind of cryptid.Â
so, you shut your eyes and brace yourself, praying that youâll be the sexy kind of burn victim and not a crisp, dead oneâ but the impact never comes. instead, a pair of arms wraps around you and youâre on a rooftopâ ridiculously far away from the scene with no way down.Â
âstay here,â superman says, flying back with a harsh burst of air. he sounded⌠angry, probably from the fight but⌠you canât shake his eyes met yours in that single glimpse, before he had gone back into the fray.Â
the fight takes four minutes. youâre like, a mile away, on top of some random building with a pretty subpar view of the actionâ but you manage to still make out the flashes of blue and red that surround the being and shoot him back off to space.Â
you frown, peering over the edge of the building. thereâs no rooftop access, no door, nothing. youâre kind of just stuckâ which is perfect, because itâs 12:55 and clarkâs about to get off for lunch, so heâll get stood up while you figure out how to get down.Â
âyou need to be more careful.â a voice behind you says, and you jump, nearly toppling over the side of the building.Â
a hand grabs your arm and spins you around to face him, steadying youâ itâs superman. thank god.Â
you nod. âyeah. probably.â he looks unconvinced, and maybe a little pissed. his arm drops back to his side and he shoots you a stern look.Â
âitâs irresponsible to run into danger like that. you could have died, maâam.â he says. his hair looks a bit windswept, curling around the edges like clarkâs does when he tries to tame it. his eyes zero in on the camera hanging around your neck. âno picture is worth your life, okay?â
you nod, looking down, a tad embarrassed. âyeah⌠adrenaline kinda beat me on this one.âÂ
he shakes his head. âpromise me you wonât do anything like that again.â he says. when you look up at him, he doesnât look angry anymore. he looks scared. its the kind of thing that makes your heart jump into your throat.
âplease?â he asks quietly, his gaze locked with yours.Â
you nod, swallowing down the strange feelings twisting around in your gut. âokay. i promise.â
thereâs a beat of silence before he steps towards you, beaming down at you like youâre any other citizen. âlet me get you down from here.âÂ
âplease do.â you agree, and he lifts you by the waist like youâre featherlight, slowly flying you down until your toes touch the concrete.Â
âby the way,â he begins, speaking quietly as you land, stepping back, âi framed that picture you gave me. thank you.â
heâs gone before you can say âyouâre welcome,â just a blur of red and blue that disappears into the sky like a shooting star.
he remembered you.Â
he probably remembers everyone he meets on the streetâ heâs known for stuff like that, being so kind, so hopeful.Â
but he remembered you. and that feels different.Â
your phone rings and you shake off whatever youâre feeling, because clark, the guy that you really really like and who really really likes you is calling and thereâs no reason you should be thinking about someone as untouchable as superman in the way that you are right now.Â
âclark, you will never believe what just happenedââ
ââ
today is july first.
your one month anniversary with clark. the day that marks one of the best months of your life coming to a closeâ and hopefully a sign that these next months are going to be just as good, if not better.Â
this month, clark kent has literally swept you off your feet. perfect dates, amazing chemistry, gentlemanlike in a way that all seems too good to be true. and maybe it is.Â
because, well, itâs three hours after your date was supposed to start. clark had been talking about today all week, texting you every free second about the amazing evening he had plannedâ but heâs not here. he couldnât even send you a text, âhey, so sorry i canât make it. raincheck?â nothing.Â
you wonder what the excuse is, this time. had to work late? ma called and he lost track of time? you hate it, how small you feel when he forgets about you. you suddenly wish it was august again, so you could have school and a whole new pack of students to occupy your time withâ you wouldnât even have to think about clark, youâd be so busy.
right as you reach for another glass of wine, thereâs a knock at your door.Â
you frown, tiptoeing silently towards the peephole like you donât already know who it is.Â
itâs clarkâ and he looks rough.Â
thereâs a nasty shiner on his eye, and heâs got blood peeking out from under his collar, and you wonder what other injuries his clothes are hiding. it takes you half a second to swing the door open, your hands flying to his face.Â
âholy shit clarkâ are you okay?â you ask, eyes wide, checking every inch of his face to see just how bad it is. youâve never seen him have so much as an odd bruise before, but nowâŚ? he looks beat. âwhat happened?â
his eyes donât follow your hands, or your movements, they donât stick to the ground, they just find yours and hold your gaze once youâre done giving him an extremely thorough once-over for any prevailing injuries. âyou were crying.â he frowns, looking down at you.Â
you pause, lowering your hands. âyeah, butââ
he handsâ which are notably shaky, press against your biceps, wrapping around your upper arms as if to ground himself.Â
âiâm so sorry.â his voice is so tender it practically kills you, pure, genuine guilt and sadness that makes you feel like a jerk for even being mad in the first place. and those eyesâ god, those eyes. they take you and they refuse to let go.Â
âclark, you look like shit, iâm not upsetââ you start, biting down on your lip. he cuts you off by pulling you into a suffocating embrace, holding you so close and so tight he practically knocks the air out of your lungs, not that you mind.
he traps your lips in a kissâ one that isnât soft, or gentle, not the way that clark usually kisses you. itâs fervent, sloppy and overwhelmingâ he surges into you like he never thought heâd be able to do it again.Â
what you donât know isâ with the battle he had, the one he lost, that was exactly what was on his mind.Â
âiâm sorry i missed our date. i promise iâll make it up to you.â he mumbles as he pulls away. he buries his face in the crook of your neck, squeezing you like he canât get you close enough. you have no idea whatâs going on, but you like the way you feel when he holds you, so you donât stop him.Â
you tentatively wrap your hands around him, unaware of the fallen god that has you in his arms. âwhat happened?â you ask quietly, your voice just a whisper against his ear.Â
he gives you a final squeeze that toed on the line of breaking your ribs before pulling back, looking down at you. âuh, i just⌠this lady got her purse stolen, picked a fight i couldnât win. iâm fine, promise.âÂ
you nod, your heart swelling with both concern and pride. you picked the guy whoâd risk his own safety to help an old lady get her purse backâ the thought makes you all warm and fuzzy, especially now that you know heâs okay.Â
you have to push down the feeling that thereâs more to the story than heâs letting on.Â
âdo you wanna come in?â you ask, tilting your head. he shakes his head.Â
âi uh, i canât. gonna sleep this offâ but iâm gonna make this up to you. i swearâ you can take that to the bank. i just didnât want you to think i flaked for no reason.âÂ
you smile up at him, shaking your head. heâs too damn sweet for his own good.Â
âokay, well, get home safe, okay?â you say, pressing a kiss on his cheek before sending him away with the promise that everything will be fine in the morning.Â
ââ
you didnât think that âiâm gonna make this up to you. i swearâ you can take that to the bank.â meant breaking into your apartment to make you breakfast, but apparently that was clarkâs exact line of thought.Â
you didnât even register the sound of him in your apartment when you stepped out of your bedroomâ your hair a mess, makeup peeled off, wearing nothing but an oversized sleep shirt and your panties. you yawned, stretched, then nearly jumped out of your own skin when you noticed him staring at you from over your stove like you were the most beautiful girl heâd ever seen.Â
âwhat are you doing here?!â you yelled, darting back into your room, searching frantically for a hairbrush.Â
âuh, i, umâ i wanted to make you breakfast?â he starts, putting his hand to his face and shaking his head. âstarting to realize how creepy this is.âÂ
you sigh, laughing softly to yourself, the shock slowly wearing off. âitâs really sweet, clark, just give me a minute to look⌠presentable.â you say through the door.
âyou look beautifulâ but, sorry. take all the time you need.âÂ
you emerge ten minutes later with your rats nest combed out, your makeup done, and wearing a pair of shorts that fit snuggly around your thighs. clark smiles at you in a sort of, iâm-sorry-for-breaking-in-but-hey-hereâs-some-breakfast, kind of way.Â
you shake your head, walking over to him and letting him wrap an arm around you, taking a deep breath to smell the absurd amount of pancakes he made for the two of you. seriously, thereâs like, three stacks and half a bowl of batter left. you lean against him, enjoying the warmth.Â
âsorry for freaking out.â you say as he presses a kiss against the top of your forehead.Â
he shrugs. âsorry for breaking into your apartment.â
you laugh. âyeahâ how long have you been here, and how did you get inââ you pause, looking up at him, noticing how clean his face is for the first time. âyour bruise is gone.âÂ
he leans back, rubbing his neck. âyeah, uh⌠iâm a fast healer.â he pauses and shrugs like thatâs the only answer he can give you. âiâve been here for like, thirty minutes. your neighbor let me in. mrs. stilinsky?âÂ
you nodâ decide not to question anything, moving back to lean on the countertop. you note the way he shifts in the back of your head and move on.Â
âi still feel bad about last night,â he starts, pausing to lift you up and onto the counter like youâre featherlight. you giggle, leaning in to press a quick kiss on his lips. âhence the breakfast. if youâre not busy today, iâd like to make it up to you.â
you raise a brow. âyou know you donât have to make up âgetting jumpedâ to me, right? i kind of get that one.â
he leans back to flip another pancake, shaking his head. âthis is non-negotiable, honey.â
you roll your eyes, grabbing a pancake off of one of the stacks. âactually, i could use another set of hands to help me decorate my classroomâŚâ you say, taking a bite of the pancake, looking up at him. âgod, this is goodâ how did you make this?â you ask, mid-bite.Â
he laughs, a motion that moves through his shoulders. âkent family recipe. ma would kill me if i shared.âÂ
ââis there pumpkin spice in this?âÂ
ââ
clark insisted on being the only one to carry anythingâ so youâre mapping out your classroom while he hauls stuff from your car, little by little.Â
youâre switching to second grade this year, so you have a newer, slightly crappier classroom a mile farther from the teacherâs lounge, and a new curriculum to teachâ but you donât particularly mind. eight is a good age, youâll just need to practice a little more crowd control during your lectures.Â
most of your stuff was brought over from your old classroom last week, this is just the stuff you bought with your daily planet money to get a fresh new look for your class.Â
clark drops the last of the junk gently by the door, smiling down at you as he approaches. he hooks an arm around your waist and presses a kiss atop your head, giving you a quick squeeze. âso, what are we doing today?âÂ
you grin up at him, leaning into his side while you begin rambling about your big plans for the room.Â
you kinda prefer this to big dates. thereâs something special about the mundane when you get to do it with clark. you just like being around him, basking in that sweet farm boy energy that has you totally whipped.
âokay, so, iâm gonna move my bookshelf to this corner, and then iâm gonna put up a bunch of posters in this area and make it, like, a reading corner, right. iâm gonna put up one of my big art wall things here and the other over there, andââ
youâre cut off by an earthquake.Â
clark instinctively tightens his grip on you, looking up and around for any danger. your frown, leaning into him.Â
he looks up at the ceiling for what seems like a beat too long when the ground shakes again. a couple trinkets fall off of a bookshelf, and one of your boxes topples over. he looks down at you, ushering you out of the classroom. âis there somewhere safe to hide?â he asks, looking up and down the hall.Â
âhere, câmon,â you start, leading him down the hall. âkids go in the gym for tornado drillsâ itâs kind of the same thing?â
he nods, following you with his hand tightly interlaced with yours. the ground shakes again and little bits of drywall fall from the ceilingâ none big enough to do any real damage, but enough to spook you.Â
you and clark make it to the gym, where the infrastructure seems a lot more sturdy. you run insideâ but he hangs by the door. âiâm gonna see if anyone else needs help, okay? iâll be back.â
âclarkâ!â you start, but heâs already gone.Â
you frown. the school is empty save for the two of you. he should be back in two, maybe three minutes.Â
but heâs not. heâs not back in five. or ten.Â
by the twelve minute mark youâre worried in a way that is all-consumingâ and the building keeps shaking. you nearly got smashed by a ceiling tile that came loose, and youâve spent the last few minutes half focused on clarkâs survival and your own.Â
you give up on waiting, going to the administrative office to check the cameras for him, a relatively easy journey. you flip through them all twice. you give time for him to leave any blindspot. he isnât thereâ he just ditched you.Â
you try not to throw the computer across the room. you could, logistically, and you could blame the damage on the whatever going on outsideâ but you donât. you just storm out of the building, looking up at the sky.Â
supermanâs fifty feet above your school fighting some robot-looking thing mid-air. to be fair, heâs winning, but not enough for you to be particularly thrilled about the sighting. you look around for clark, and heâs nowhere, which is just great.Â
âclark!â you call out, looking for him, ducking debris from the action above you. you turn the corner of the building, looking around by the dumpster, trying to see if he was hiding with some sweet old lady or doing anything besides running away and abandoning you.Â
you rush past the wallâ and maybe if you were a bit less panicked and a bit more observant you would have noticed the pile of clothes peeking out from under the dumpster, or the glasses that belonged to clark kent reflecting sunlight onto the stack of bricks behind you.Â
but you continue, rushing out to the courtyard, met with a great big field filled with nothing but astroturf and gym supplies.Â
âclark!â you call again. heâs not thereâ you know he isnât and youâre really, really freaking out. what if he got caught under a chunk of debris? what if that robot monster up there crashed into him? what if he really did just abandon you and leave you to fend for yourself?
you brush that last one off. he wouldnât do that. you know him well enough to know that. heâs good to his core, heâs not the type of guy to run from danger.Â
you look up at the fight above you. superman is pummeling into the robot like thereâs no tomorrow, getting closer and closer towards the ground. heâs right above the field youâre hanging around, andâ
oh shit.Â
they both crash against the ground, knocking a literal crater into the field. the impact of the collision knocks you onto your ass, and despite being fifty feet away, the yelp you let out when you hit pavement attracts supermanâs attentionâ and the thing heâs fighting.Â
it happens in slow motion: you, with wide eyes, scrambling to get up on shaky legs, the robot, hurling towards you impossibly fast, and superman, an inch behind, trying to stop it
youâre frozen. you canât run, or fight, or even moveâ youâre just stuck, shaking, your heart beating out of your chest, adrenaline shooting through your veins like fire.Â
you think itâs the end, but superman grabs hold of the thing when itâs an inch away, pulling it back and throwing it across the field so hard the boom that follows sounds like a missile strike. you just stare, your breaths uneven and panicked, watching with teary eyes as superman punches that thing into the ground, ripping the machineâs head off with bare hands, tearing it apart until itâs nothing but scrap metal and wire.Â
and then he turns to you, moving faster than the speed of light across the field to gently help you up.Â
âare you alright?â he asks, taking your hand. your legs are shaking so bad that he has to practically hold you upright, but he doesnât seem to mind.Â
you nod. âyeah, iâm okay.â you say, taking a deep breath, swallowing down your panic.Â
he checks you over for any injuries, the same way he did the first night that you met. âyou shouldnât have been out here.â he says, and he sounds frustratedâ you feel bad. bad that he always seems to be saving you, and that you seem to be his least favorite regular. heâs saved you once a week for the last month at least, sometimes when youâre taking pictures for the planet, sometimes when trouble just seems to follow you home. either wayâ you have seen a lot of superman lately.Â
âi uh, yeah, i was looking for⌠clark kent? i know heâs interviewed you before, have you seen him?âÂ
his gaze softens, and he takes a breath, looking down and shaking his head softly like heâs having a conversation in his head you arenât privy to.
âheâs fine.â he says, looking up at you. youâre captivatedâ itâs always those damn eyes. bluer than the pacific, you donât know how a man so perfect can exist.âi, uh, he was about to get crushed by some debris, so i moved him half a mile west.â
you breath a sigh of relief. âthank you.â you say, steady enough to stand a bit taller. he doesnât let go.Â
âyou get into a lot of trouble, donât you?â he asksâ not in a, ha-ha we run into each other a lot way, but in a, hey iâm kind of concerned about your well-being kind of way. your heart leaps to your chest.Â
âyeah. kept my promise though. didnât come out here for a picture.âÂ
he smilesâ you almost swoonâ and shakes his head. âdo i have to start keeping a special eye on you, miss?âÂ
you try not to blush. you fail. âwith my luck, that might just be necessary.â you say, smiling up at him.Â
you pause.Â
you are totally flirting with superman. and even crazierâ superman is totally flirting with you.Â
you have clark. loving, caring, sweet, handsome clark.Â
but can it really hurt to indulge in the fantasy for a minute longer?Â
âwell, if you need anything, maâam, call out for superman, and iâll be there.â he says.
âanything?â you ask, raising an eyebrow. âi might just take advantage of that.â
he laughsâ a laugh that seems too familiar. âi hope you do.â
you look up at him, tilting your head. âthank you, again, for saving me.â
he smiles, looking down at you, giving your hand a final squeeze before he lets you go. he leans in a bit closer, smiling down at you in a way that makes your heart jump to your throat. âiâm always gonna save you. i promise.â
the way he says you gives you pause. it makes your knees want to buckle. it makes this whole thing seem completely unreal.Â
because heâs talking about you like you mean a lot more to him than a pedestrian heâs had to save a couple times. like youâre someone he cares aboutâ which confuses you a lot more than you care to admit.Â
he leans back, clears his throat, acts like he said a bit more than he should have and returns to that superman persona he let slip for half a second. âyou try to stay safe, okay?â he says, raising an eyebrow, and you nod, a little dazed.Â
âon it.â
he steps back and shoots back off into the sky, and you stare until heâs completely gone, now just a whisper of blue in the skyline of metropolis.Â
âhey! there you are!â clarkâs voice echoes from behind you. you spin around, overwhelmed with relief that heâs safe and running back towards you.Â
you practically crash into him, simply relieved that he is safe and not smushed under a building or something like that. his arms wrap around you so tight you can barely breathe, and you hold him so close you think your arms might break.Â
âi got so scared when you didnât come back.â you mumble into the fabric of his shirt. he nods, pulling back, looking down at you.Â
âyeah, uh, i was looking for others and this giant piece of wall almost got meâ superman swiped me out and took me like, three blocks away.â he says, taking a deep breath. âiâm really glad youâre okay.â
you nod, swallowing down the guilt forming in your chest. here clark is, all worried about you, who literally ran back from half a mile away to come and get you, and you were just flirting with superman.Â
âyeah, uh, superman saved me too. guess we both got lucky.â you say, chewing on your lip. you feel horrible.Â
he frowns. âa-are you okay?â he asks, tilting his head. you hate how he can read you like that.
you nod. âyeah, uh, i think i just want to go home.â
ââ
that night you sent clark home, promising you would call him in the morning. you told him that you were just a bit shakenâ and you were. but not from the whole⌠robot trying to kill you thing. from the superman one.Â
you just felt guilty about it. confused on what made superman so keen on you. youâve felt confused a lot, lately. about clark, superman, your own feelings.Â
to make it clear: you are 100% whipped for clark. he is your perfect man, and he has never made you doubt for one second that he likes you just as much as you like him. the whole superman thing feels like a fantasy come trueâ having some angelic, godlike protector single you out. itâs probably very human to have some feelings, to get a little flustered when someone like superman flirts with you.Â
thereâs just something about superman that feels achingly familiar, in the kind of way that bugs you wholly. his laugh, his voice, his eyes. the eyes get you the mostâ like thereâs something right in front of you that you just canât see.Â
you take another sip of your beer, looking out at the moonlit skyline from your fire escape.Â
âare you alright?âÂ
you jump, whipping your head around to see superman floating ahead, approaching you slowly, like heâs afraid youâll scare. he smiles, leaning against the railing of the fire escape, looking down at you with this weird, soft look in his eye. like heâs worried.Â
you nod. âwhat are you doing here?â
he shrugs. âi wanted to make sure you were okay, after today.â he says, staring at you with those impossibly familiar blue eyes.Â
you raise an eyebrow. âdo you check up on all the people you save?â
he chuckles, and shakes his head. âjust the lucky ones.â
you pause, offering him a beer. he waves his hands no, climbing over the rail to sit with you.Â
âyouâre real friendly.â you observe, taking another swig of your drink. he shrugs.
âjust concerned.âÂ
thereâs a long beat of silence before either of you speak again. youâre not really sure what to say, how to proceed. you can feel him staring at you, while your eyes trace over the buildings around you.Â
âhowâs your day going?â you ask, blinking back up at him. he stares for a second, then smilesâ and those eyes capture you once more.Â
âbeen an odd day. yâknow, stray robot attacks and all.â he pauses, giving you a once over. âyou?âÂ
you shrug. âoddâs probably the best word for it.â
âwould you like to talk about it?â he offers. âiâve been told that iâm a good listener.âÂ
do you wanna talk about it? itâs kind of been an emotional roller coaster of a day. of course, itâs the kind of thing that would only happen to you, having superman on your porch step, asking how you feel. at first, all the running into each other seemed like dumb coincidenceâ now it all feels a lot heavier.Â
âiâve been seeing a lot of you lately.â you say, tilting back your head to get a better look at him.Â
he nods. âis that a bad thing?â
you shrug in response. âitâs an odd one. especially âcauseââ you start, cutting yourself off. you look down, chewing on your lip so you donât confront superman for being a huge flirt.Â
he looks at you inquisitively, a small frown playing on his lips. ââcause?â
you take a deep breath, looking down. âi have a boyfriend. wellâ heâs not technically my boyfriend, yet. he hasnât asked, but like, yâknow. i really like him.â
you look back up and heâs smiling, almost like heâs trying to suppress a grin, which confuses you even more, because, like, two minutes ago he was acting all into you.
âand how are things going with your not-boyfriend?â he asks, leaning back.Â
âgreat. so i need you to stop flirting with me.âÂ
he laughsâ he actually laughs, with his full chest. acts like you saying that is the silliest thing in the world. like he didnât randomly show up at your apartment to âcheck on you.â
he smiles up at you with this weird, knowing twinkle in his eye. âyouâre right. iâve got no business getting between you and clark.âÂ
you pause, your eyebrows knitting together. you didnât mention anything about clark.Â
âhowâd you know it was clark?â you ask, frowning.Â
he pausesâ like his body stutters. âuh, wellââ he starts, stumbling in a way that seems so familiar, just like everything else he does. god, what is it about him? âi assumed, since he was who you were looking for at the school.â
you nod, training your eyes on the loose curl sitting on his forehead. you guess that makes sense, at least, enough for you to not dwell on it any longer. yet, coupled with everything else youâve noticed, itâs all just⌠very strange.
âiâm onto you, superman.â you say, looking up at him, eyebrows raised. you see it, just the briefest, tiniest moment of panic in his eyes before the superhero persona sets back in. itâs just enough to let you know that youâre not crazy.Â
âonto me?â he asks, slightly incredulous. âwhat for?âÂ
you shrug, leaning back against the railing, taking another quick sip of your beer before placing it down against the barred floor of your fire escape. âjust whatever it is that youâre hiding from me.â
he nods, like heâs barely entertaining the idea. âi could just stop running into you.â he says, a bit more serious now than he was a minute ago. âif i was hiding something.âÂ
you smile, shaking your head, standing up and leaning back against the railing. âyou could. i doubt you will.â you say, flashing him a grin, hoisting yourself up to sit on the railing.Â
he tilts his head. âwhyâs that?âÂ
now, you wouldnât do this if you werenât at least two beers deep, and right now, youâre three and a half in, so your judgement is maybe⌠slightly impaired. besides, itâs not like this is the farthest youâve ever gone to prove a point.Â
you slide your legs over the rail, and without a single thought or hesitation, you push yourself off.Â
you plummet for a bit longer than you thought you wouldâ not like the drop would kill you, anyways, you live three stories up, but youâre a lot closer to the ground than you thought youâd be when he catches you.Â
his arms wrap around you bridal styleâ and he looks kind of pissed. he doesnât quite look at you, not until youâre back up safely on the fire escape and heâs floating back out in the alleyway.Â
âthat was, goshââ he starts, looking down at you, arms crossed. âwhy would you do that?â
âi knew you would catch me.â you say, your eyes glancing up to find his.Â
he shakes his head. âpromise me you wonât do that again. ever.â he asks, eyebrows firmly knit together.Â
you nod, which, doesnât seem to be good enough for him, because he tilts his head and looks at you with a gaze that is incredibly stern. you reach out your hand, extending your pinky finger out towards him.Â
âi pinky swear.âÂ
he smiles, locking his finger with yours. âthank you.â
thereâs a boom somewhere off in the distance, one loud enough to attract his attention. his hand slips away from yours, and with a nod, heâs gone.Â
youâre gonna figure him out.Â
ââ
itâs been two weeks since that nightâ and that was the last time you saw superman, a new record for you and him. you enjoyed the space as much as it infuriated youâ so your time has been spent cataloguing every interaction, sorting through everything that bugged you, even slightly.Â
you donât tell clark about it. it canât feel good to hear that your girl is constantly thinking about another guyâ especially one that is a god amongst men.Â
you and clark do have a good rhythm, though. he spends most nights at your place now, and he spoils you with two âreal datesâ (as he calls them) a week. itâs nice, having him around. someone you can force feed your baking to and cuddle up with when watching scary movies.
itâs nights like tonight, actually, that make you so into him it scares you. he came over after work, and after making you a pasta salad that tasted like heaven on your fork, you sat together on the couch to watch some random sitcom he liked. his arms wrapped around you immediately, and he held you so close and so tight it was basically impossible not to fall asleep in those big, bulky arms of his.Â
you blink awake now, soft light and sound still playing on your television despite how quiet everything else seems. you listen to clarkâs breathing, steady and even, snoring softly with his grasp loose around you.Â
you slide out of his arms quietly, surprised that you didnât manage to wake him when you knocked into the table behind you on your way to the bathroom. you come back two minutes later, wiping your hands on your sleep shirt and looking down at him.Â
he looks so peaceful, so relaxed. it makes you smile. carefully, as to not wake him up, you slide his glasses off of his face and put them on your coffee table, and grab a blanket off of your armchair to throw over him.Â
in this motion, you realize youâve never actually seen clark without his glasses before. you look down at him, tilting your head, squinting for whatever shapes you can make out with such little lighting.Â
you didnât realize how strong his prescription was, because he looks quite different. likeâ noticeably different.Â
huh. he looks a lot like superman.Â
you frown. squint a little harder. besides the hair, heâs nearly identical.Â
you shake the thought. it has to be some weird coincidence, right? clark, your clark? not possible. youâre too sleepy to give it much thought, anyways.Â
still, it bugs you. it bugs you the next morning, when he makes you breakfast. it bugs you the day after, when you see him at the planet. it bugs you for another week, because the similarity is just too damning.Â
you stare down at that picture you have of superman. of him, helping your student. the one that inadvertently led you to clark. the one that superman himself framed. youâre looking at all the similarities of note between clark and him. sure, theyâre different, but everything different is something easily changed. hairstyles, tone of voice, hell, even posture.Â
you chew on your lip. itâs 5:30, clarkâs supposed to pick you up in two hours.Â
but, hypothetically, if you went to his place now and looked around when he wasnât expecting you⌠would you find this picture hung up somewhere?Â
it would be just to get the thought out of your head. youâre like, 95% sure there is no way in hell that clark kent can be superman. especially because, if he was, and heâd been flirting with you as superman? youâd be beyond pissed.Â
you knock twice on the door. âclark?â
you hear a shuffle and a pause. it takes thirty agonizingly long seconds for him to open the door, but when he does itâs all smiles and laughterâ âhey, what are you doing here? thought i was picking you up later.â
he urges you in and gently shuts the door behind you, smiling down at you. your eyes trace every inch of the apartment, looking for something you pray you donât find.Â
âi didnât want to wait any longer,â you say, looking back up at him, âi missed you.â
he grins, wrapping an arm around you and giving you a squeeze. he looks niceâ white button up, black slacks, his hair impossibly perfect. you lean into him, nearly forgetting about your mission.Â
âdo you want to just hang out here tonight? skip the date?â he asks, sliding your purse off of your shoulder and setting it down on his mahogany front tableâ one that he made himself when he still lived in smallville.Â
âactually,â you say, uncertainly, sliding off your jacket. âthat sounds perfect. i wanna talk.âÂ
he raises a brow, taking your jacket and hooking it the coat rack. you lead him to the living room, flopping down on the couch. âdo i need to be worried?âÂ
he sets himself behind you, leaning against the back of the couch, smiling down at you. you look around, still looking for that pictureâ one youâre sure you wonât see amongst the decor of his apartment.Â
âyeah, maybe.â you say, your eyes meeting his. his smile fades, and those ocean blue eyes stare down at you with just enough concern to make your heart skip a beat. âwhat are we?âÂ
you donât know why you picked that question to stall for time, but here you are.Â
he takes a breath, like that question somehow relieves himâ what an odd guy.Â
âwhat do you want us to be?âÂ
he asks it gently, hopefully, like heâs easing you into it. he isâ he wants you, bad. more than just a summer situationship. clark isnât built for that. but he understands hesitation, he understands if you want to take your time. heâs got all the time in the world.Â
you pause, taking a breath. âwell, i really like you clark.â you say, scooting back on the couch, patting the empty space next to you as a signal. he dances around the side of the couch, extra careful not to knock into anything and disrupt a moment like this one. the couch dips beside you and you sit with your legs crossed, facing him.Â
âi really like you, too.â he says, quietly, like it kills him not to say more.Â
you nod, chewing on your lip. âand i want to be your girlfriend.âÂ
he breaks out into a grin, leaning back, looking at you with nothing but love in those ridiculously blue eyes. âyeah?â
ânot that you donât still have to ask me, cause you do, and you have to make it, like, the most romantic thing iâve ever seen.â you say, smiling up at him. he nodsâ super serious, like one of your kids planning out an assignment in their head.
âi promise.â he says, leaning in. âiâm gonna romance your socks off, babe.âÂ
you laugh, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him against you. he presses a quick kiss against your lipsâ one youâre careful not to get sucked into; youâre not done yet.
ânow that thatâs settled,â you say, forcing him back with a playful push that elicits a groan from him. âif iâm gonna be with youâ you canât hide anything. i need complete, open honesty.âÂ
he nods, looking away. you frown. âis there anything you havenât told me? anything important?âÂ
he pauses, his eyes trained to the wall, like heâs deliberating on something super important.Â
were you right? is clark really⌠superman?Â
he looks back at you, smiling, like that moment didnât happen. like everything is alright. âi stole one the toys from your classroom.â he shrugs, laughing a bit. âthe stuffed deer? it reminded me of you.âÂ
you gasp, feigning offense. âiâve been looking for him everywhere!â you exclaim in fake horror, but you canât help but giggle.Â
what were you thinking? clark, superman? sweet, adorkable clark? itâs more likely that heâs secretly mother teresa.Â
his laugh grounds you, and he slings an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him. âiâll let you know if anything else comes to mind.â he says, pressing a kiss to your temple. âwanna watch a movie?âÂ
you nod, looking up at him. âiâll let you pick it if you make popcorn.â you grin, pressing a kiss against his jawline.Â
âyes maâam.â he says, standing up, lingering in your touch a second too long before leaving for the kitchen.Â
you watch him, unable to suppress a giant, dorky smile. god, you love him.Â
oh god, you love him.Â
you decide to table that thought for when you get home.Â
âiâm gonna change into one of your shirts!â you call out, standing up and heading towards his room. youâre still in date night attire, and you would much rather be dwarfed by one of clarkâs nice, cotton, smallville t-shirts than brave the night in jeans and a tube top.Â
âhave fun!â he calls back, and you can hear the sporadic popping of the popcorn from the kitchen.Â
you make it to his closet, filtering through the half-dozen tees he keeps hung up. he doesnât have that many clothes, you note, a few dress shirts, a couple cheap suits, two pairs of jeans, and a box of ties below it. you look around a bit more, noting the weird amount of dress shoes he has lined up on the ground when you notice a pair of black wingtips sat above a silver, face-down picture frame.Â
huh.Â
maybe if you were a bit more trusting and a bit less suspicious you would have left it aloneâ but that isnât you.Â
your eyes flicker to the doorway, which is empty, and back to the frame. carefully, you crouch down, sliding the shoes down to the ground, tentatively picking up the frame and flipping it towards you.Â
your heart beats out of your chest.Â
itâs the picture.Â
itâs the picture.Â
the one you took of superman, the one you gave him that first night, the one he told you he framedâ the one that you decidedly did not give to clark, the one that clark never told you he framed, the one that clark would have no reason to hide exceptâ
that heâs superman.Â
that you were right.Â
that he lied to you.Â
you take the picture. hold it so tight your knuckles turn white. walk out of the closet, out of the bedroom, into the kitchen. drop it on the countertop so clark can see it.Â
the look on his face tells you everything you need to know. he looks shocked, caught, then scared, guilty. his eyes dart from the picture to you in an instant. the microwave beeps three times, the popping slows to a stop. itâs over.Â
âi can explain.âÂ
you shake your head. he doesnât need toâ itâs pretty open and shut. he lied to you, and if it was just him hiding the superman thing, you could understand. âyou talked to me as supermanâ flirted with me, asked personal stuffâ you lied. youâve been lying, this entire time, iââ you take a deep breath, fighting tears. âi should go.â you say, spinning around on your heels.
he grabs your hand before you can move, squeezing it gently. âplease, waitâ let me explain it. please. you donât understand.â
you pull away, looking at him with nothing but hurt in your eyesâ because you are hurt, you feel betrayed and broken and everything you thought you wouldnât feel with clark. you stare at him, trying your hardest not to cryâ not in front of him. he looks hopeless, half-defeated, uncertain, and lost in a way that overwhelms him.
you sniffle, shaking your head. âi understand fine, clark.â you say, swallowing down your heartbreak and peeling towards the door.Â
âthis is over.â
ââ
the days that follow are bleak. all you have to show for the breakup are dark, lonely hours wasted in pints of ice cream and dirty tissues. your only solace is scrolling through article after articleâ either ones written by clark, or ones written about him.Â
you push yourself through it with everything you can muster, praying that he doesnât hear your sobs from across the city. you love him. loved him. and youâre not sure youâll ever be so in love again.Â
but he betrayed you, he lied to youâ he hurt you in a way that you canât explain. you donât want to let that push you down any more than it already has.Â
so, you push back. get up, out of bed, get dressed, call your friends, make plans. put yourself in a situation where you donât have to think, especially about clark. itâs been ten days since you stormed out of his apartment and you have to move forward. itâs the last day of summer before you go backâ you canât have let it all been a waste.Â
you club. you party. you convince yourself that youâre having fun. you drink too much and then you spend an hour sobering yourself up before you home. you kiss your friends goodbye and toss the numbers you had pocketed in the trash outside your apartment. you head upstairs, taking a deep breath to try an avoid letting yourself think about the silence.
about clark.Â
and, when you get to your door, fumbling for your keysâ you notice a piece of neatly-folded card stock taped below your peephole, your name encircled by a heart on the front of it.Â
carefully, you take it down, removing the tape with little tear and opening the letter, recognizing the handwriting before you can even read a word.Â
to start this, you were right. i shouldnât have lied, i shouldnât have pretended i wasnât lying, i shouldnât have spoken to you under false pretenses. the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt you, and for that, i am so sorry.Â
i hope, for you, this past week hasnât been as miserable as it has been for me. i hoped to have seen you at the planet, or bump into you on the corner, or find some way to see you and try and redeem myselfâ but i couldnât wait any longer to explain.
yes, i am superman. i was born on the planet krypton, sent here as an infant, and adopted by my parents, john and martha kent. i have a cousin who too, is from krypton, but remembers much more than me about home, and i take care of her superpowered dog, krypto, in a secret fortress in the arctic. i can fly, i can move incredibly fast, i have inhuman strength, x-ray vision, laser vision from my eyes and breath that can freeze nearly anything, all given to me by the earthâs yellow sun.Â
i came to you as superman at first by accident. the night i saved you from the mugger, before our first date. i had spent the days leading up to our date spiraling. you, who are so perfect, so beautiful, and so kind, were going out with me, and i was terrified to mess it up. i realized how easy it was for me to talk to you as superman, when it was difficult for clark kent. the times i saved you, i shouldnât have lingered. the times i spoke to you as him, i shouldnât have been there. at first, it had been a crutch, but by the last time, it had become a compulsion.Â
i had to see you. to make sure that you were safe, and warm, and happy. i realize now that i violated you in a way i cannot make up for. for this and for everything else, i am truly sorry. while my betrayal is inexcusable, know that i did it because i love you. this summer has been the best of my life, i have never met someone as compassionate, hilarious, talented, and beautiful as you, i have never wanted to be around someone more than you, i have never had someone plague my thoughts and dreams the way you do. you have quickly become my everything, my reason for waking up, for helping people, for pushing through every day.
you asked me, the day of our fight, to make my request for you to be my girlfriend the most romantic thing youâve ever seen. and i promised you that i would.Â
and while i have lied to you, hidden things from you, and hurt you, i have never broken a promise.Â
open the door, please.Â
you look up from the note, wiping away a river of tears that had just poured out of you. carefully, your hands wrap around the doorknob, slowly turning it and pushing the door open.Â
and there he is.Â
standing in the center of the room, surrounded by a thousand rose petals, holding a giant bouquet with an iron grip. candles litter the foyer, giving his face an ethereal glow in the low light. his glasses are gone. his curls are out. heâs someone between clark kent and superman now, someone who you desperately want to know.Â
he clears his throat, his gaze holding yours hostage with those infinity blue eyes captivating you so wholly.Â
âi promise never to hurt you again. never to lie to you, or hide things from you, or betray your trustâ if youâll let me be yours again.â he says, smiling down at you like heâs on the verge of tears. âwill you be my girlfriend?â he asks, as you approach taking in the entire set up slowly, trying not to lose what little composure of yours you still have.Â
you take a breath, your eyes locking with his once more.Â
âyes.â you say, grinning while tearsâ happy ones, slip from your eyes. he smiles wider than youâve ever seen, practically throwing the bouquet so he can wrap his arms around you in a giant bear hug.Â
he lifts you up and spins you off of the ground, pulling an exciting giggle from your lips. it takes you a second to realize heâs off the ground too, that youâre both mid-air inside your tiny apartmentâ but youâre too focused on clark to mind.Â
he holds you close, leaning in just enough to warm your face with his breath.
âi love you.â he says, quietly, like if saying it any louder would have scared you away.Â
âi love you too.â you say, smiling.Â
he grins, leaning into you and crashing against you with a kiss so fervent it nearly topples you overâ so passionate it makes your chest explode with warmth.Â
and suddenly, just for a moment, just for nowâ everything is okay again. and you know that as long as you have clark at your side, it always will be.Â
ââ
there are two quick knocks on the door, followed by a rasp âhoney? you okay?â
you tremble, sat with your back against the door, bunched up in your wedding dress, trying to force the tears to stop falling to avoid messing up your ridiculously expensive bridal makeup. ten minutes ago the pressure got to you, and five minutes ago you sent your entire partyâ bridesmaids, stylists, even your mom âout the door so you could properly break down.Â
âyeah.â you say, sniffling. your voice shakes so much that the lie isnât even half-convincing. clark can see right through you anyways (literally), so itâs not like you were really trying to lie. you just didnât want him all concerned. itâs his wedding day too, you want it to be the happiest day of his life, even if your own experience is a train wreck.Â
you can practically hear his frown. âkara told me what happened.â he says, softly.Â
oh. yeah. your bridezilla breakdown. not one of your best moments. you arenât exactly proud of screaming at your mom to stop messing with your hair, or your aunt for commenting on the fit of your dress, or your bridesmaids for giving you all sorts of unsolicited advice. you yelled, threw a fit, and pushed everyone out of the room so you could sob mascara into your veil.Â
âcan i come in?â he asks, gently, and you let out a weak laugh.Â
âthe groom canât see the bride before the wedding, remember?â you say. he groans, sliding down against the door, his back to you.Â
âthatâs a silly rule.â he says, and you smile. you love how much he makes you smile.Â
âi donât need any more bad luck.â you wince. âdid kara tell you about my bitch fit?âÂ
you hear him snort a little bit through the door. âshe used nicer words.â he says, pausing. âwanna talk about it?â
god yes. itâs all you want to talk about. but you donât want to bring clark down any further than you already have. you want him to have the perfect wedding, even if you are decidedly not.Â
âitâs fine. i just needed a minute.â you say, your voice shaking againâ enough to where you know clark wonât drop it now. you bury your head in your dress, taking a deep breath.Â
âcâmon. iâm your husband in like, ten minutes. you can talk to me.â he says. his voice is so sweet and syrupyâ youâre not sure how you can refuse him.Â
you lean up, back against the door, shutting your eyes so tight it hurts. the words spill out of you so fast you donât even think about them before they do. âi wanna be married to you so bad. but godâ i know we spent so much on this and we spent so much time planning it but⌠i just want this over with. my dress is so goddamn tight and nobody can leave me alone for half a second without telling me something i need to be doing or something iâm doing wrong. and i justâ it all got to be too much. and now my mom is probably gonna storm out âcause i yelled at her and then my dad wonât be there to walk me down the aisle, and i just ruined everything for no good reason.âÂ
the end of your rant is met with a beat of silence. a terrifying, overwhelming, moment where you think you might have finally scared off clark.Â
of course, you didnât. you couldnât. âhey, honeyâ nothingâs ruined. look, donât think about what your mom wants, or what your bridesmaids want, or even what i want. whatâs gonna make you happy? âcause i could fly you off to a courthouse right now and ditch the party. all i want is to married to youâ you could be in your pajamas for all i care and you would never have looked more beautiful. i justâ darn it, i want you to be happy.â
youâre crying again, but this time youâre smiling, because god, your fiancĂŠ is just so sweet it makes your knees weak.Â
âwhat do you want, sweetheart?â he asks again, his voice so soft and tender it makes you turn to putty.Â
you sniffle again, wiping your tears with your fingers while trying not to further destroy your $120 makeup. âi really want a hug.â you mumble, staring down at your mascara-stained hands.Â
âon it.â he says, and you hear him stand up and try for the doorâ which is still very much locked.Â
you giggle a bit, standing up with him âi canât let you in, though. the rule?âÂ
he scoffs. âthat rule is just plainâ gosh, itâs just ridiculous. let me in, please, or Iâm gonna break this door down.âÂ
you laughâ god, it feels so good to laugh. you havenât seen him all day and it felt like you were drowning.Â
you pause, giving in and slowly turning the lock, but you donât quite open the door yet.Â
âpromise me youâll keep your eyes shut?â you ask, knowing how silly it sounds. god help you, youâre a bit superstitious.Â
âscouts honor.â he confirms, and you slowly open the door, peeking out to see clark, who looks breathtakingly stunning, with his tie wrapped around his eyes like a blindfold.Â
you laugh, smiling so wide the muscles in your mouth start to get sore.Â
âthere she is.â he says, reaching out blindly for you, his handsâ impossibly warm, feeling around for your shoulders. âyou feel very beautiful.âÂ
you laugh, wrapping your arms around him and burying yourself against him, your head in his chest. his arms circle your body and he squeezes you so tight you might faintâ exactly the kind of hug you needed.Â
you do your best not to let yourself cry, but clark has a way of forcing the tension out of you, one way or another. one hand presses into the small of your back, the other strokes your hair softly. little praises and comforts slip from his lips like sugar, while you sob into him.
âi love you so much.â he whispers, giving you another squeeze.
âi love you too.â you cry, holding him so tightly your arms ache. âi am so excited to be married to youâ this is not cold feet i promise.â
he laughs, nodding against you. âi know, honey, i know.â he says, and god, he knows just how to sooth every one of your worries away.Â
finally, you pull away, looking up at him. his glasses are tucked into his pocket, his hair is slicked back with one little curl popped out against his forehead. his suit is a deep black, with a navy blue tie (still covering his eyes) and a matching pocket square that makes him look irresistible.Â
âyou look really nice.â you say, sniffling, but you canât wipe the smile off of your face.Â
he shrugs. âiâm sure itâs nothing compared to you.â and he says it like you arenât already a mess and youâre not blushing like, well, a bride.Â
you grab the edge of his sleeve and use it to wipe away your tears. his thumb brushes against your cheek, falling to your bicep when you let his sleeve go.
âso, whatâs the plan, gorgeous?â he asks, grinning down at you with that five-star smile that gets you every time. âare we sneaking out and going downtown?â
you take a deep breath, shaking your head. âno, no weâre doing this.â you say, leaning into his touch. âbut if you, say, asked one of your superhero friends to slip a roach down my momâs dress, i think iâd skip down the aisle.âÂ
he laughs, squeezing your arm and pulling away. âiâll see what i can do.âÂ
you smile, memorizing how dorky he looks with that tie around his eyes and his cute open mouth smile.Â
âsee you on the other side?â you ask, tilting your head.Â
âsee you on the other side.â he confirms, stepping back with just enough uncertainty to let you know that heâs not using any x-ray vision.Â
you watch him through the crack in the door until heâs gone, smiling so wide you might be stuck that way.Â
half an hour later the music starts, your dad takes your hand, and youâre walking down the aisle like nothing ever went wrong.
first you eye the crowd, looking over the array of friends, family, and superheroes that showed up. thank goodness clark is a reporter and not, say, an office worker, because you donât know how else you could explain the random celebrities like bruce wayne and oliver queen who are sat in the audience.Â
then you look at your feet, which, are hidden beneath the dress, but you want to make sure you donât stumble and embarrass yourself with a hundred pairs of eyes on you.Â
finally, you look up at clark, whoâs staring at you in the sort of way that makes you feel faint. like youâre the most beautiful woman in the world. like youâre about to make his knees buckle. like heâs in pure awe. he doesnât even look nervousâ a trait which you envy, because youâre an absolute mess right now. he just looks captivated.
you make up to the alter, looking up at him with a healthy mix of nerves and excitement. heâs looking down at you like heâs never been more certain of anything in his life.Â
âi love you.â he mouths, grinning at you.
âi love you more.â you mouth back, and he shakes his head with glee.
ââyou may now share your vows.â the officiant says, looking to clark.
he smiles, looking down at his feet, taking a deep breath before looking back up at you.
âfor⌠for a long time i didnât know what to write. i had about six⌠thousand drafts, but i donât think thereâs any way i can put into words how much i love you. how much i depend on you, how much of my happiness is thanks to you. i have so much purpose now. because if i can make you happyâ if i can make you safe, if i can make you feel loved and supported and half as good as you make me feel every day by just being you⌠iâll have accomplished more than iâve ever dreamed of. i love you, honey, so much it makes my chest hurt. and i am the luckiest man in the world to be the man who gets to marry youâ my soulmate.â he looks back up at you with stars in his eyesâ your spaceman.
thereâs like, five tears sliding down your cheeks by the end of that speech. you literally cannot stop smiling. you expected a lotâ his job is writing for chrissakesâ but wow.
wow.
âi, uh, wow. i donât think i can top that.â you say, and a gentle laugh echoes from the crowd. you take a deep breath. âclark, iâ i spent a lifetime thinking iâd never find someone like you. youâre, literally my knight in shining armor. when we met, and you walked me to perryâs office when i was so, horribly lost, i remember thinking how much i wanted this guy to ask me out. and then i found your number in my files, and i didnât even realize how lucky i was. clarkâ my life has become so much better because youâre in it. having you, my rock, my best friend, my soulmateâ i donât have to dream any more. every morning with you is one come true. you are the incredibly dorky, adorable, and unfathomably amazing love of my life, and marrying you is the best thing i will ever do. iâve never been certain of anything, but for this i have no doubt: i love you, clark kent, and i will love you no matter what life throws at usâ i know that despite any tragedy or circumstance, i am yours, always and forever.â
you smile up at clark, droplets of water falling further down your face while a single tear drops from his eye. he smiles at you like youâre all he could ever want. you are.
âby the power vested in me by the state, i now pronounce you mr. and mrs. clark kent, husband and wife. you may now kiss the bride.â
clark grins at you and leans in, his lips pressing gently against yours, his hands pulling you in by your sides. the music plays, the church erupts in applause, and your husband knocks the breath out of you and for one moment, just one, everything is completely perfect.
this is so easily the longest fic i've ever written.... i am very proud of her though i very much hope you all enjoy!!
jason todd x yapper!reader (i mean really, you never shut the fuck up. he likes it though!)
--
all jason was looking for in a shitty, crime alley slum was a place to liveâ never in a millionyears did he expect to find you.
you being his neighbor, who never shut the fuck up.
like, not once, not ever. you were allergic to silence, treading around it like it physically hurt you to sit with stillness in the air for more than five seconds.Â
âhey, jason, right? do you know anything about plants? my mom sent me a ficus, iâm not really sure why, or if itâs actually a ficus or some other plant, but I cannot garden for the life of me. iâm good with animals, but every plant i get seems to die after two weeks, even the unkillable ones. i had a cactus, famously not an easy thing to mess up, but i over-watered itâ can you believe that thatâs even a thing? i canât. anyways, it died after three weeks, which was an embarrassing thing to admit to my coworker who bought me the damn thing, yâknow? so iâm trying to make it work with my new ficus, which is why iâm really hopeful someone in this building has some advice for me.â
mind you, jason stepped off of the elevator ten minutes ago, and he hasnât been able to get a word out.Â
and normally, that would annoy him to no end. if you were anyone else heâd have blown you off and be long gone by now. he isnât sure why he canât tear himself away, why he doesnât seem to mind your endless, ultimately meaningless yapping, or why he wants to hear more of it.Â
lets face it, heâs an intimidating guy. he knows what he looks like, and heâs pretty intentionally with the vibe he gives offâ the sort of loner, donât mess with me aura heâs curated. most people look at him and look away, but you? you didnât even hesitate, you just smiled at him and treated him like he was anyone else.Â
âwhat book is that?â you ask, looking down at the small plastic bag in his hand from the bookstore he had just come from.Â
he carefully peels back the plastic giving you a glimpse. â1984.â
you nod, pulling a faceâ which makes him grin like an idiot, for some reason.Â
âi didnât like 1984, no, i hated it. i read it for school in like, my sophomore year of high school and it was awful. maybe i was too young to appreciate it, but like, i mean, i got the messaging, surveillance state whatever, but it was just so boring and so freaking long. i liked animal farm, though, so i donât hate george orwell, but what i liked about animal farm is that it was concise. 1984 just went on and on and on and isnât it just all regurgitated stuff from like, russian literature? i mean, no hate if you like it, a lot of people do, i just suffered through it. although maybe iâd like it more now that iâm not fifteen and my perspective has matured a bit. you read a lot, donât you? i feel like i see you around with books a lot. my mom loved to read, and i loved it when i was a kid but i got so busy and exhausted all the time i just didnât have it in me to read something that wasnât for school, and now iâm working and i have even less time so, yâknow, it isnât great to get back into it. plus, iâd hate to start a book and put all of my time into it for it to just be a dud. but itâs really cool that you have a hobby like that, i bet itâs very relaxing. i bake, which is supposed to be therapeutic, but in reality itâs so stressful. i tried to make cinnamon rolls last night for this morning, and my good for nothing glass pan exploded. can you believe that? everywhere. iâm still finding glass shards in my kitchen. speaking of which, do you have a vacuum i could borrow? mine broke last night.âÂ
jason nods, unconsciously following you down the hallway towards your apartment, which happens to be right next to his. âyeah, you can borrow mine.âÂ
you grin, a gesture that makes his heart twist in his chest.
âthank you so much. here, you should come in. my cinnamon rolls may have been a failure, but i made some brownies that will kill you dead theyâre so goodâ so long as you have a respectable tolerance for cocoa powder. and i promise, these ones donât have any glass in them.â
somehow, jason finds himself sitting in your kitchen, eating a ridiculously good brownie and sipping on a glass of fresh lemonade.Â
even weirder, he keeps finding himself in the same place, day after day, week after week. the desserts change, but you never do.Â
âhave you seen the construction going on down on 8th street? the whole road is blocked off because like, clayface or someone went crazy, which, like, why live in gotham if you canât handle the insanity, but my commute to work is an extra half hour now for god knows how long. know i have to get up at like, six in the morning, which means i go to bed before my show is on which is so annoying.â
âmy boss, who is just the worst, i mean real awful guy, yâknow, he came back from this two month âsabbaticalâ where he probably did nothing but jerk himself off and abuse local wait staff, but he came back with the worst toupee youâve ever seen. i mean, who did that install? you can see the glue. and you canât stare at it for too long or else heâll start yelling, but like, câmon, its four shades lighter than the rest of his head!â
âdo you think its unethical that im still on my exâs spotify family plan? he hasnât booted me yet, yâknow, and it isnât like i need the expense, but my conscience keeps yelling at me about it. maybe i should cancel it. i need to cancel my netflix, i havenât opened it in months. maybe i should switch to peacock, they have all the sitcoms i like. man, i should rewatch modern family.â
itâs weird. he doesnât normally like noise. he likes peace, he likes the quiet. he likes to take up as little space as possible when heâs in a room. and youâre⌠the opposite. you are big and loud and you take up all the extra space heâs left for you.Â
but he likes that it isnât empty anymore.Â
the realization that heâs in love with you hits him like a semi-truck.Â
heâs in your kitchen, licking the spoon you just covered in chocolate cake batter, baking with him for his birthday, music lightly flowing in the room.Â
ââoh my gosh and the discount this girl gave meââ you stop your rant in your tracks, your eyes meeting his, smiling softly at him. âyou have some on your nose.â you say, making your way across the too small kitchen before he can even think to wipe it off.
and the you kiss him.
right there, just like that, right on his nose. like that doesnât stun him, like that isnât a little crazy, like itâs all normal.
you go back to your station like nothing happened. like you didnât just totally flip his world upside-down. itâs then that it hits himâ heâs spent so many hours here, listening to you talk about nothing, when he could have been doing literally anything else.
and thereâs nowhere else heâd rather be.
because he wants you so bad it hurts. so bad that a simple kiss on the nose sets him on fire. so bad that heâd spend every hour of every day trying to get a word in just so he could spend it with you.
âanyways, she only charged twenty dollars,â you start, as if everything was completely normal, âwhich, i gave her forty, because they took her two hours and sheâs just so talentedââ
thereâs no way you just snapped back into yapping like you didnât just turn him tomato red. only you would treat that moment like the most normal thing in the world.
no, thatâs not happening.
before either of you can think about it, jasonâs crossed the room, planted his hands on your hips, and has finally found a way to shut you up.
you look up at him like you donât know what to say. neither does he, really, but he leans in close. close enough that you can feel your breath mingling with his, close enough that you donât think youâd ever want to pull away.
and then he kisses you. itâs soft, gentle, like heâs scared to do it wrong. heâs not a big moves kind of guy, he isnât practiced in this sort of thing, but god, it feels right.
when he does pull away, an action that feels like agony, all he does is smile. you do the same.
âi, uh⌠iâmâŚâ you stutter, because for once, you canât think of anything to say.
his smile becomes a grin, and he slings his arm around you, pulling you closer. âiâve never heard you this quiet.â he says, planting another kiss against your temple, smiling at the subsequent flush of your cheeks.
you roll your eyes, shooting him a faux glare before going into another long winded rant about whatever the hell just happened, and all the things you want to happen after.
and while heâd never admit it, jason liked the world a lot better when it was filled with your voice.
clark kent who never lets you wake up to anything but a freshly made breakfastâ and he can cook. he knows just about every kent family recipe ma could teach him and he never lets you lift a finger in the kitchen. he insists that the view of you, in one if his old smallville t-shirts, bleary-eyed and giggly in the soft lull of the morning is worth the labor of a thousand breakfasts.
clark kent who is the perfect gentleman. before you even realize youâre cold he has his gray cotton suit jacket around your shoulders and an arm tight around your waist. you two go grocery shopping? he wonât even let you touch a bag, carrying them like itâs a badge of honor after youâve long since given up on trying to help him. if thereâs a puddle on the sidewalk? he lifts you by the waist like youâre featherlight, twirling you over it so your shoes donât get wet and pressing a kiss atop your head once he sets you down.Â
clark kent who canât keep himself off of you, like, ever. his hands, which are huge compared to yours, are always holding you, your hands, your waist, your thighs, etc. his fingers card through your hair constantly, and his nose presses into the crook of your neck like it belongs there. he wraps himself around you in giant bear hugs, refusing to let go for hours on end (not that you mind). itâs almost a compulsion, how close he has to be to you at all times to ground himself, to remind himself that you, the person he loves most in this world and any other, are real and somehow love him as much as he loves you.Â
clark kent who is really good with kids, in the kind of way that makes your heart just melt to see. he takes conversations with children seriously, nodding along as they babble on like itâs the most important thing in the world, helping them without a second thought. when he meets your niece, it only takes about five minutes for him to swing her on his shoulders and earn the title of âuncle clark!â the whole thing makes you swoon.Â
clark kent who is a giant dork and makes sure you know it. he practically pins you down against him and forces you to watch all six of the star wars movies in an order that seems completely random to you when you make the mistake of telling him that youâve never seen them. he spoons you on the couch, arms wrapped around you, softly whispering his favorite lines along with the movie, his breath warm against your ear.Â
clark kent who sees you as a literal goddess. he thinks youâre ethereal, full of warmth and made of light. he loves you like itâs worship, tending to you like itâs his divine purposeâ because it is. heâs so gentle with you, large hands capable of great destruction ghosting over your body like youâre something fragile. he keeps you safe, happy, and warm with everything he has. youâre his girl, by some grace of god, and heâd rather die than let you feel anything but absolutely beloved.Â
clark kent who kisses you like he forgets you have to breatheâ because he does. after crashing into you, he gets so lost in the waves that it takes you nearly passing out for him to pull back, giving you a million apologies while you catch your breath, but you pull him back into it before he can feel any real guilt.Â
clark kent who is undeniably the love of your life, in a way that is permanent and unbelievable. you have him whipped, barely able to think about anything but you and the way you glow like starlight in his eyes. perfection cannot begin to describe what you are to him, they way you make him weak in his knees and dizzy when he smells your perfume on his skin. he doesnât need to travel to distant planets with red suns to get wasted when the sound of your voice makes him drunker than any beverage could hope to. yes, you, the woman of his dreams, are the owner of clarkâs heart and if shattering it would make you smile heâd glue it back together so you could do it all over again.Â
-------
he is all i can think about i think ate ive read over 100 fics about my sweet beautiful princess he is so beautiful to me. this obsession is a sickness but hot damn
â aka jason knows better than to let anyone get away with hurting you
âââ
your eyes trace the brown-yellow bruise forming on your wrist, the consequence of some asshole on the street too drunk to remember it isnât polite to grab pretty girls. you wouldâve let it go, really, itâs gotham, this kind of thing happens. unfortunately for the poor bastard, he had the misfortune of forgetting his sense in front of jason todd.
you try to hide the bruise before your boyfriend can see it, sliding the tarnished patch of skin under the sleeve of your jacket with hasteâ but he catches it anyways. of course he does. you can faintly see shocks of green lightning crackling in his ocean blue eyes, a precursor to the white hot rage stemming from his chest to the rest of his body.
you gently squeeze his arm, noting how tense the muscles in his bicep are. you know jason. you know he loves you differentlyâ like youâre something fragile. he worships you, taking care of you like youâre a marble statue and heâs terrified of finding cracks. so something as small as a bruise, no matter how tiny or how minor, it makes him lose control.
he gently removes your hand from his arm, pressing a chaste kiss against your bruise. âwhy donât you go back to that cafĂŠ, yeah? iâll join you in a minute.â he says, looking down at you with a soft smile. if you didnât know him any better, youâd think heâd completely gotten over the situation, happy as a clam.
but you do know him, and you know that the way his shoulders are tensed and his free hand is fisted in the pocket of his jacket means that heâs enraged.
âjayââ
he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, giving you a gentle smile. âplease, baby. i donât want you to see this.â
you should stop it. you should try. but heâs looking at you like that and your morals suddenly become incredibly loose. you hesitate, remembering the waves of repulsion you felt moments ago when that idiot bastard yanked you towards him. âjust⌠donât hurt him bad.â
jason nods, turning you around and guiding you forward, watching until you turn towards the cafe before he focuses his attention on the man, who is still too piss drunk to comprehend how badly he had fucked up. you hear jason before the door fully closes behind you, an echo of âso you think thatâs how you should treat a woman?â
heâs terrifying. that drunk idiot must be terrified.
and heâs yours. scary dog privileges and all that. it makes you feel warm, safe, loved, protectedâ youâre irrevocably in love with that. with him.
he comes back in a few minutes, maybe fifteen? the wait stretched on for hours in your mind. his knuckles are bloody, but none of it is his. he cleans up in the bathroom before sliding next to you on the cushioned side of your half-booth, wrapping an arm and your shoulder, breathing you in like a man starved.
âheâs fine.â he says quietly, so only you can hear it. âjust made sure he learned to keep his hands to himself.â
you close your eyes, leaning into him, into his warmth. you donât say anythingâ you donât have to, the way you bury yourself against him is admission enough. his arms wrap around you and the bruise fades back into your skin. your heart beats with more love than you thought it capable of producing, your chest swelling like itâs about to burst.
you press a gentle kiss against his chest and everything makes sense again.
âââ
itâs always when i say iâm not gonna write that inspiration strikes
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things with jason are new, fun, romantic. like a dream come true, really. however, there is one thing you haven't quite warned him about. behind the door to your apartment are at least a dozen animals in your care, all of which have a tendency to scare off potential partners.
--
âyou should know something about me.â you say, staring down very hard at jasonâs shoes. theyâre very nice, actually. black leather combat boots, fairly worn but not falling apart. the kind that are expensive, but not in the designer brand, frivolous, gucci coach the devil wears prada sort of way, expensive like the kind of boots that last ten years without a crack in the soles bought from a really respectable brand of cobbler.Â
you and jay have been on two dates so far, proceeded by eight months of awful flirting and excruciating pining taking place on both ends. he, the regular at your bar, constantly pressing you for information on your more⌠colorful clientele in a way he thought was subtle. you, a woman scorned by the brood of men produced by gotham, somehow finding yourself falling for a man who checks every box on your list of red flags.Â
and then, finally, after months and months of âyou shouldnât wear that unless you want guys to bother you,â and âdo you visit all your informants this much?â, he asked you out.Â
well, he rescued you from an ill-fated encounter with a guy you over-served after closing, subsequently revealing his identity as red hood, making out with you, and then asking you out, insisting he did things âthe proper way.â
the proper way meaning two incredible dates. like, take every perfect romcom moment and shoot them somewhere out past the moon because they have nothing on jason todd.Â
the funny thing is, the dates themselves arenât a spectacle. coffee first, followed by walking around the market, and then dinner at a quaint thai food place with the best fried rice youâve ever had. both events entirely unremarkable, and yet⌠youâve never felt this way before. the conversation is so easy, itâs like talking to an old friend, but one that makes your stomach erupt in butterflies and oftentimes gives you the compulsion to squeeze your thighs together with a simple touch on your back or shoulder, or with the stupid things he says now that he isnât afraid to flirt with you like a sailor on leave.Â
and now, following your dinner at the thai restaurant, youâre standing outside your apartment, staring down at his very nice boots, contemplating whether or not to let him in. because you really do want this evening not to end, but youâre afraid that what lies behind that door might freak him out.Â
not like, make him think youâre completely insane or desperately need to be institutionalized, but he will, at the very least, be concerned.Â
because, behind that door, he will find a small colony of cats, three hamsters, a rabbit, five kinds of fish, and two very old senior dogs.
your apartment is a zoo. youâre some kind of wannabe doctor doolittle. when he comes in, heâs gonna think youâre some kind of crackedâ in the insane asylum sense of the word.Â
âwhatâs that?â he asks, his voice agonizingly gentle, but you can tell heâs at least a tad concerned about your mental state. Â
you take a deep breath, swallowing your pride and bringing yourself to meet his eyes. you suppose that the things you have to say would be better shown than spoken.Â
âokay, so,â you start, slotting the key into your lock, âbefore you make any judgements, just let me explain this first.â you say, chewing on your lip.Â
you open the door, just a crack as to ensure no wild animals in your care try to make an escape. youâre sure the smell hits him, while you have been long since desensitized to it, the crinkles of noses from neighbors past make you aware that it exists, and it is particularly pungent.Â
you grab jasonâs hand, yanking him in before deaf and blind, your aptly named senior dobermans, come and poke their noses through the gap in the door.Â
an array of woofs and meows greet the two of you, with three of your five cats coming to meet the stranger standing awkwardly in your foyer.Â
you take a deep breath. âso,â you start, trying to gauge his reaction, but he expression is annoyingly unfazed. âi foster animals. a lot of themâ well, not my fish, theyâre harder to foster, but the cats and the dogs, theyâre mostly senior, except two of the cats, which i found in the alley behind the bar. i have some hamsters too, but iâm doing my best to rehome them before they get eaten.â
he nods, not like what youâre saying is completely normal and everything is 100% okay, but like he isnât running out the door yet.Â
you take a deep breath, kneeling down to pet comet, your newest cat, a jet black shadow who is as stupid as he is social.Â
âso, my apartment always has a minimum of ten animals. and most of them are really old and a couple of them wear diapers but i just really believe that these animals are deserving of end of life careâ i mean, they would be getting put down in the pound right now because nobody takes in senior animals and they really need homes and i understand this makes me seem a little crazyââ
he smiles, leaning down to pet comet when he ditches your leg for the new guyâs. ââi like animals.â he says, quietly, looking up at you. âand i donât think it makes you seem crazy. iâm really⌠wowed.â
you smile. âwow like, i need to get out of the insane asylum kind of wowed, or..?â
he leans back up sliding his hand against your side, pulling you closer. you hate how tall he is. no matter the position, itâs like heâs always towering over you, especially now, when heâs getting closer and closer and yet still so high above you.Â
âwow like, iâm amazed this incredible woman let me into her apartment.â he says softly, pressing a gentle kiss on your temple.Â
you blush like an idiot, trying your hardest not to make a complete fool of yourself. âarenât we good at sweet talk?â you ask, placing your hand on his chest, lightly pressing on the firm muscle hidden underneath the fabric so cruelly covering his chest.
he leans down, pressing another kiss by your ear. âyou make it easy.â he says, his voice soft and low. âif your biggest flaw is that you take care of animals,â he continues, kissing next to your opposite ear, âthen i am one lucky guy.â his breath ghosts over your lips, warm and unbelievably enticing.Â
you grin, lifting yourself up on your toes to get just a bit closer. âyou are a nice, nice man.â you mumble, bridging the gap between the two of you with a kiss so slow and gentle it rivals every rom-com kiss youâve ever seen, in fact, it blows every single one of them out of the water.Â
you pull away first, only to come up for air. youâre almost too distracted to hear the kerplunck coming from across the room, followed by an array of angry meows that pull you both awayâ and just like that, your romantic evening lives on forever in infamy as the night your tabby found her way into your fish tank and massacred two goldfish and a good chunk of jasonâs forearm.Â
-- aka sex with clark before you know he's superman. warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral fem receiving, p in v, overstimulation, lwk size kink
------
clark is a perfect boyfriend, besides a tendency to disappear in the middle of the day or show up an hour late for half of your dates, heâs sweet, caring, and the perfect gentleman. yet there are some things about him you just canât seem to explain.Â
normally heâs clumsy in his affection, soft and careful like everything he does is practiced. but in bed, when heâs not holding back, does things a little too fast, a little too strongâ not in a bad way, god, no, but in an inexplicable one. wimpy, nerdy clark has a way of losing control when heâs tongue deep in your pussy that you canât quite understand.
he always starts slow, licking long, wet strips up and down the length of your core, circling your clit agonizingly slow, always insisting you need to be properly prepped for him. he stares down at you like he can see how wet you are before you he even does anything, like he has some supernatural sense of the best places to touch you.Â
he starts out with near-surgical precision, sticking two fingers in and licking gentle circles around your clitâ but when you moan out âmmâ clark!â he loses all control. he gets sloppyâ greedy, licking and sucking until you canât remember your own nameâ just his. he doesnât stop after one orgasm, no, it barely registers to him. his lips are full of little praises, âyouâre doing so good for me,â and âjust one more baby, just one,â (even though it never is just one more).
when you writhe under him, itâs like he has some superhuman strength, pinning you down with one hand pressed against your tummy, rendering you nearly immobile. and he tries to be gentle, even when heâs pussy drunk and half gone. but the moment he starts pushing it inside of you, when youâre already two and a half orgasms in and completely overstimulated, any semblance of your nerdy, sweet clarky disappears into pure animalistic instinct.Â
clark is big. sure, he has a big frame, 6â4, 250 pounds with the build of a linebacker, youâd expect him to be hungâ but itâs almost inhuman just how large it is. you gasp every time he slides in the tipâ somehow youâre already completely gone and heâs just getting started.Â
he slides it in slowly, trying his best not to split you in half, his hands slide up and down your thighs with soft praises falling down his lips. âyouâre soâ god, youâre so tight.â he breathes out, barely a whimper as he slowly slides in every inch, making you all dumb on his cock. all you can do is moan and whimper, unable to form any coherent thought when youâre taking every overwhelming inch of his length.Â
he also has more stamina than you think any normal human does. he drives himself in and out of you like a man possessed, pushing you down into the bed like its his divine purpose, thrusting right into your sweet spot until youâre seeing stars. you cum around himâ he doesnât stop, he just whispers more praises into your ear, encouraging you to give him just a little more. he uses his free hand to rub soft circles against your clit, a sensation that practically ruins you.Â
youâve lost all coherence by the time he gets close, and youâve long since lost count of the orgasms heâs given you. your legs are shaking and all you can do is whimper out with every collision, too dumb to comprehend the near-superhuman speed or the overwhelming force of which he uses to drive into you.
when heâs finally close, he presses against you, staring down into your dazed eyes, begging you to finish one more time around him, pressing his face into your neck and breathing you in, pressing soft kisses underneath your jaw. âplease, baby, pleaseââ he begs, circling your clit while he pushes into youâ inexplicably faster and harder than before. âcum for me, just one more time, please baby.â
and it works, one last time you completely unravel, eyes rolling in the back of your head, your legs spasming around him with a tidal wave of pleasure that just ruins youâ and you feel him too. his strangled moans, the warmth of his load bursting inside of you, the way he finally, finally seems to succumb to the exhaustion youâve been feeling for the past three orgasms, collapsing against you and taking deep, heaving breaths.Â
âyou did so good for me, so good.â he mumbles, finally sitting up, picking you up like youâre lighter than a feather and placing you more comfortably on the bed. âiâ are you okay?â he asks, when you look up at him all dazed. âdid i go too far?â
he looks at you with a desperate sort of guilt you canât quite place, and you shake your head, smiling up at him, soothing his worries with a quiet nod.Â
after, heâs the king of after care, cleaning you up, drawing you a bath, making you food and carrying you around when youâre too weak to walk. he tends to you like its his full time job and you canât even imagine that the clark that holds you in his arms until you fall asleep is in any way the same being that railed you so hard the mattress tore.Â
-------
all i can think about is david's clark superman was so peak and wow isn't he just so dreamy
you and clark have loved each other as long as you've known each other-- so clark knows when something is wrong. but how do you tell a man that loves you so much that you're scared he'll realize how much better he can do?
you and clark kent have known each other since you were five-and-three-quarters and he was six -and-a-half. youâre both proud alumni of smallvilleâs tiny elementary school, and itâs only slightly larger counterpart: smallville high.Â
you and clark have shared homework answers, first kisses, and every single secret there was to tell (including the super ones). itâs always been you and clark, a simple of fact of life. when you stopped being friends and became something more? no one batted an eyeâ because nobody made more sense than you and him.
but clark went to the esteemed university of metropolis, and you went to central kansas state. clark became a reporter of great renown and the incredible superman, while you became an er nurse at smallville general.
neither of you wanted to do long distance.
neither of you ever stopped loving each other, either.
so, after seven years apart, the second a job opened in metropolis, your bags were packed. because your life didnât feel like it was worth living when your other half was across the country.
clark asked you to move in with him the second he heard you were coming back. you couldnât think of anything to say but yes. god, and being back together? it was like college never happened, the distance, the breakup, the days spent pretending other people could mean as much to you as you meant to each other. all of that was over:
you were in love. plain and simple.
at leastâ you love him. so much that your chest hurts and you canât think about anything but him half of the time.Â
and yes, heâs the perfect boyfriend. caring, doting, trying his best to balance your happiness with his two amazing jobs. he completes you, wholly and trulyâ but itâs hard sometimes to feel like youâre good enough for him. you feel like he deserves more than the girl who comes home too exhausted to cook and thinks herself far too plain for a god like superman.
that insecurityâ while entirely baseless, takes root. no, it takes over. half the time itâs all you think about, how much happier you think heâd be with someone a lot more metropolis and a lot less smallville. he should be with some high powered woman who can match him and challenge himâ it makes you wonder⌠what does he see in you?
it doesnât take too long for clark to notice. the way your smile stops reaching your eyes, the way you stop waiting up for him at night when his other job keeps him busy. the way you look at yourself in pictures like youâre less than. it tells him that something is very, very wrong.
for awhile, he prays itâll pass, whatever it is. he takes you out on extra dates and surprises you with flowers and gifts and home cooked meals as often as he can. you hug him and smile and let him hold you close and tight like youâre his whole world (you are)â but he sees it in your eyes. itâs like youâre hanging back, talking and laughing like everythingâs normal while part of you, arguably the most important part, suffers in silence.
the girl he fell in love with isnât gone. but sheâs hurting, he knows that much.
he doesnât want this for you. it kills him to see you like this, stuck knowing he has no idea whatâs going on in that head of yours. so eventually, he stops dancing around it, he stops avoiding the confrontation he knows has to happen. he canât see you living like this anymore. it just ruins himâ because for a man with all the power in the world, he canât make the woman he loves most happy.Â
and whatâs worse than that?
so he sits you down on the bed, putting a healthy amount of distance between you so you donât feel too pressured or too smothered by him. heâs kind like that. he takes a deep breath and catches your gaze with his, trying to convey how seriously heâs taking this, how much he wants you to open up to him again.
âwhatâs going on?â you ask, tilting your head, looking up at him with this soft, tender glint in your eye that makes him want to melt back into your arms and go back to the way things were in smallville, when all there was was you and him and a couple inexplicable superpowers that cropped up every now and then.
but this is now. and you need him. so heâll be as strong as he has to be.
he takes a deep breath. âi uh⌠gosh, i wanted to talk to you. make sure youâre doing okay.â
you shrug, shaking your head. âiâm fine.â you say it casually, like he canât hear your heartbeat speed up just enough to tell him itâs a nervous, knee-jerk lie.
he sighs. âhoney, i⌠i want you to talk to me, please. iâm worried about you.â he says quietly, leaning in. his sets his hand on your knee, rubbing his thumb back and forth, trying to coax the truth out of you.
you take a deep breath, biting on the inside of your mouth. you look down, unsure of what to say, of how to tell him that youâre so insecure youâre letting it ruin your relationship. that you love him so much you donât think youâre enough for him anymore.
âplease?â he begs, and your walls come crashing down with that gentle plea.
âsometimes⌠i justâ i feel like....â you hesitate, looking down, fidgeting with your thumbs, pulling on the loose skin around your fingernails.Â
you can feel him looking at you, deep blue eyes burning a hole into your skin. the confession doesnât come easily for you, no, it pulls like sandpaper out of your throat. but if you donât say it now, you never will.Â
so you take a deep breath, praying you can hold off your tears just a moment more so you can get this out before you turn to a sobbing, blubbering mess. ââŚlike youâre superman. and the equally amazing clark kent. and one day, youâre gonna realize that you can have anybody you wantâ and then you wonât want me anymore. andââ the tears start coming out before you can stop them, but you persevere. ââi love you, and i want you to be with someone who deserves you, someone better than me. youâre a lot bigger now than smallville, and⌠and iâm not.â
silence hangs heavy in the air. you sniffle, wipe your tears on your sleeve, and take a shaky breath before you finally peer up to look at clark.Â
he looks horrified. his eyes are wide and his mouth sits slightly agape, like heâs watching his worst nightmare come to fruition.Â
a single tear drops from the ocean of his eye, rolling slowly down his cheek. he feels sick.
he takes a deep breath, swallowing down the frog that had jumped to his throat. âplease⌠please donât tell me youâve thought thisâ that youâve been thinking this⌠this whole time?â he asks. you elect not to speak.Â
it takes half a second before clark is on top of you, knocking you back into the bed, holding onto you so tightly in a giant bear hug it knocks the air out of your lungs.Â
he lets you cry. long enough for you to get it all out of your system, until the sobs that wrack your body subside into soft waves of melancholy. then he pulls back, sitting you both up on the bed, tucking a loose strand of your hair back behind your ear. his eyes captivate yours, control your gaze, make sure that you focus on him and only him until heâs ready to let you go.Â
he smiles, softly. he could yell and scream and cry about how ridiculous that is, that he could never want anyone but you, that there is no one âbetterâ than you. he could fly you around the entire world and show you why youâre the only girl he wants to come home to every night. but he knows that wouldnât do much good in convincing you, he knows you better than he knows himself these days. so his hands linger with comforting touches on your body, and he opens his mouth to speak so softly and soothingly his words could lull you to sleep if you let them.
âi can hear anything on this planetâ you know this.â he starts, using his thumb to rub gentle circles into your thigh. âif i hone into it. thereâs a lot of things i can listen to, when iâm tired or bored or sad. thereâs a jazz club down the street, best music in town, in my opinion. i could zone into the crabjoyâs rehearsals in california, or maybe focus on justice gang small talk. butâŚâ he says, smiling down at you like youâre made of yellow sunshine. âi spend just about all my free time listening to you.âÂ
you pause, tilting your head up at him. the numbness thatâs been sitting in your chest slowly melts into the kind of warmth that only clark kent could make you feel.
âwhen you hum the songs playing in your head to yourself, i get excited, maybe a bit sappy. and when you tell stories, i get so distracted i forget where i am. just the sound of your heartbeatâ steady, rhythmic, how it goes fast and then slow and then fast again, it grounds me. makes me feel like iâm home.â
youâre crying again. not in the bad way, this time. the tears just canât help but to fall.Â
âyouâre my girl. i donât think i could ever want someone else. i donât think someone better could even exist, okay? just âcause iâm superman, just âcause i could, doesnât mean iâd ever want to. you are my soulmate. my world revolves around you. and⌠gosh, iâm so sorry iâve ever made you think otherwise.â he says, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. âwithout you, i wouldnât be superman. iâd have nothing to protect if i didnât have the hope in the world that you give me. nobody else could ever hold a candle to you, okay?â he says, smiling. âplease tell me you believe me. please?â
you nod, sniffling again, smiling back up at him with something he would describe as radiance.
âi do.â
he breathes out a soft sigh of relief. âthen please, for my sanity, donât ever think like that again. it kills meâ i think i felt a part of my soul die.âÂ
you giggle, leaning into him. he wraps his arms around you, pulling your back into his chest, swaying you back and forth against him, tucking his head against your shoulder, blowing raspberries into the crook of your neck until all you are is smiles and laughter and you forget you were ever insecure about your relationship in the first place.