#charlesisa

So we start the episode with the Liars running through Radley. This place again. *eye roll* Why is a derelict asylum so easy to get into? Should this place not be boarded up? Wait, who are we kidding, Radley wasn't exactly a difficult place to get into when it was open. I'm surprised there isn't a doorman ushering people in and out as they please. So the Liars burst onto the roof, where A is standing on the edge ready to jump. I assume this means we're at the end of the episode in true PLL fashion. I mean weren't they just at prom? The police surround the building (detective Tanner nowhere to be seen - maybe she's gone back to police school so she can actually learn how to investigate properly) while the Liars try and stop A from jumping to a messy death. Watching this for the first time I'm a little confused. Who could A possibly be that they're trying to convince him to not jump? This is a person that has tortured you girls constantly. Emily, they drove a car into your house! I don't care if Charles/A turns out to be your best friend, let him jump.

Of course the police aim their guns at A from the ground. Well done, Rosewood PD. When someone threatens to jump off a roof the best way to stop them is to shoot them. Fuck. Anyway. Emily chimes in with "don't do this to your sister", clearly forgetting the giant hole Charles put in her house with a car, when Hannah pipes up with "You've been such a bitch to us, but we've heard your story. We understand." Hold up. Firstly, bitch? So now we know A is either a female or a sassy gay guy. We're literally a minute into the episode. USE A DIFFERENT WORD. Secondly, unless Charles literally comes out halfway through this episode and says "I was under the Imperius curse" there is no reason for them to be this sympathetic to A. Stop this, all of you! Then A moves as if to jump, cuing one of the best faces from Alison I have ever seen, before we get the titles. Buckle up

Why didn't everyone just hide from A in Alison's mouth?

While the title rolls, I can't help but think, will they redo the credits for 6B/5 Years Later? None of them look like this anymore, except Spencer I guess, who I assume must be reaching middle age by now.

Okay, here we go. "Earlier that night". Cut back to them at their lavish prom which I can only assume cost more than my house to decorate. What school do they go to that their production values include a maze inside their hall? With TREES! Hanna is called the DiLaurentis house, which gives me one of my favourite scenes; the drunkard mums in the basement screaming for help. Drunk Mum Adventure was honestly one of the best storylines in this series. Ridiculous, yes, but amusing ("A is after our children and also has a thing for proms. I know, let's put all our unsupervised children in a barn on prom night, get drunk, and then wonder over to A's dad's house!" Not your smartest move, Mrs Hastings).

Honestly, no wonder Alison is failing, all the money is being spent on proms instead of learning materials.

Emily is, quite rightly, freaking out. Aria tries to calm her down by saying they have to believe A would never hurt Ali. Aria? Are you okay? Are you watching the same show I've been watching? And... yes, there we have it. "A drove a car through my house, Aria, I believe he'll hurt anybody who gets in his way." Good! You do remember Emily! Keep that bit of information in your head for later. Then Red Coat appears in a mirror and the Liars decide to follow through what I can only describe as a hidden door (at their prom, in their school), because that seems safe, only to find that it wasn't Red Coat. It was Little Red Mona who is slaying the room with her look tonight. Finally a bit of Mona! The only one in the group who seems to have their shit together. "You knew he was a cop?" "Aria, maybe you thought he was always happy to see you but I could never get past the bulge in his pants." Serve it, Mona.

"What do you MEAN why did I wear red? Is that someone else's colour?"

What's this? Oh, Mona has been bluesnarfing Alison since she returned to Rosewood. Of course. Being a 17 year old hacker is nothing out of the ordinary in Rosewood. Mona decrypts the cellular network that A seems to own (Charles has to be a billionaire) and they find out that A's lair is at the Carrisimi group. "Rhys is Charles" offers Hannah, but I'm not buying it. As soon as they suggest someone is A in PLL it always turns out to not be them. Anyone remember Melissa? Jena? ANDREW?

Cut to A dragging an apparently dead Jason through the halls of Radley. Meh. What did he really add to the show anyway? 90's boyband hair. Then Alison wakes up in a bed as if she is Snow White taking a nap in a hollow tree. What is it with these girls waking up in strange places and being so calm about it? Why is her makeup still flawless? Bitch just got kidnapped and dragged to an abandoned mental asylum. I want bits of twig in her hair, not Sleeping Beauty. Even looking around her cell she's surprisingly calm until she notices dead daddy D just outside.

Honestly. Does she think she's sleeping beauty? I get there's a fairytail theme but c'mon, her eyeliner should be all over her face by now.

The Liars pull up outside the Carrisimi group to see police loading a van with random bags. Hanna, in wonderful Hanna style, suggests that the bags could be full of "chopped up bits of Alison's body". We can only hope, Hanna. Still, why are the police unloading stuff from Carrismi? You know what? Let's not even think about it. They are probably never going to address this ever again. PLL is infamous for plot points that never get addressed again.

The Liars bust into the building, which is apparently not guarded either, and then try and break into a coded room by... guessing the password. That was your plan? Guess? Lucky Sara is around to tell you all some bullshit story that no one is buying except you Liars so you can actually storm A's lair. "See, we are smarter than Charles." No Mona. You just tried to hack a pin code by guessing. Just go into the room.

So they do. They go into the room, to which Hanna profoundly asks "Did we just walk inside A's brain?" No Hanna. I can only assume that you've walked onto a different show because this room is clearly a spaceship. Is this a PLL sci-fi spin off, like when they did that weird supernatural one? Why are these girls suddenly in the future? No time to contemplate that because Shady Sara has decided to not come into the room which conveniently locks her out. I swear, if this bitch is A, I'm going to hunt down the writers. We all soon forget about Shady Sara though because a fucking HOLOGRAM decides to appear, showing the room that Ali is in. That's right kids, an actual Hologram. Hanna even touches it. WHAT SCI FI BULLSHIT AM I WATCHING? "This is a live feed". I actually thought Mona was being a super Hacker again but it's actually just written on the magic science screen in front of them.

"It's a live feed. I know that because I'm a hacker." "It says it right there, Mona." "HACKER!!!"

So using the magic science screen, they find a good angle, because A has very kindly set up loads of cameras all around the place for them to get good coverage. This is it. This is the moment where we find out who A is. We we're all sat on the edge of our seat. A IS TURNING AROUND...................... and it's Cece Fucking Drake? What? This must be bullshit. Clearly Cece is /working/ for Charles, because we've seen pictures of Charles and Charles is a boy. Cece is not a boy. Unless... no, no, no. Don't do this PLL. You're above this. You've learnt from the mistakes of other shows. You're not going to create yourself problems here, are you? Transgender Charles, that's your plan? Insert the only transgender character into PLL and make them a psychopathic, torturing megalomaniac? And now she's singing? Honestly, I have no idea right now. I want to switch it off. I can't handle sitting through whatever explanation they have for Cece Drake being Charles DiLaurentis. Whatever it is, it's going to be problematic. Not even to mention this terrible green screen they keep using.

"I'm not wearing makeup so you know I mean business."

The Liars begin to wonder where the police are, but Mona (being the voice of reason), points out that the police probably aren't coming. Tanner is probably working for Cece. Cece did escape police custody already. Not that it matters; we're thankful the police aren't coming because we want to hear Cece's story, whatever bullshit explanation the writers have given her. Cue flashbacks to baby Alison crying and Cece - then Charles - deciding that the best way to cheer her up is to drop her into a scalding bath. We all know the story, Mr D told us before, but now Cece is playing it off like it was an accident? Okay, I could get on board with that. Still, it's not reason enough to lock your child in an asylum. Can you even put a child into an assulym? Don't they do analyses on children? Or does someone just say "By the way, my child dropped our baby in the bath so if you could do us a favour and lock them away for life, that'd be great"? No, wait, Cece explains it was because she was trans that Mr D locked her up. Well, that explains it! Honestly... they're trying to make us feel sympathety for A. Nothing I've learnt over the last 5 and a half seasons could make me feel anything close to sympathy for A. Yes, it's very horrible your transphobic father locked you in an asylum, but you also tortured people. You locked Mona in a well without food. I don't feel sorry for you.

Why does Baby Alison have an en-suite bathroom with a bath in it? She's not even 1.

The yellow dress and top gets explained here. Remember that yellow top? That FUCKING yellow top. Well it turns out Mrs D buys the same clothes for Ali that she does for Cece. I guess that means Ali's dream (remember that Christmas one, with the two presents?) wasn't a dream after all. Then we cut to another flashback of a young Charles in the dress hanging out with Bethany Young in Radley. So they were friends! What an interesting plot point! Toby's mum appears - remember that storyline that no one cared about and never got solved, about Toby's mum killing herself and then it was actually Charles? Well turns out an angry Bethany Young pushed her off the roof and blamed it on Charles. So Charles was never crazy, it seems, just wrongly accused. Which actually is worse because now we have even less justification for why A has done all the things she's done over the years. I really can feel this "sympathy for A" thing trying to be forced on me and I'm really not on board. Why is no one calling her out on her bullshit?Alison even apologises to Cece that these horrible things that have happened to her and Hanna has to remind everyone that A is a psychopath. Thank God for Hanna.

Also, can I just point out that Ali visited Toby's house once in a flashback and she was like 16. Now 13 year old Bethany Young has killed Toby's mum? That would have put Ali at about 7. Sort out your timelines, PLL!!

Charles' gravestone gets explained by Cece saying it was a "symbolic grave" to put Charles to rest when she transitioned. Apparently that's a thing people do. Not that you can focus on it for too long because a motion detector has gone off and reveals none other than Red Coat. At this point I was kind of hoping Cece would say she was Red Coat and A was someone else that she's working for, but now we've actually see Red Coat, so I guess that's out the window. Of course, Red Coat setting up a bomb to blow Radley into the sky. Cece continues telling her story, as if she's not actually planning to blow her and her sister up, and now we get a half-assed explanation for why A is a genius. Cece studied loads in Radley. Yep. That's all. She studied. Radley has even allowed her to go to UPenn; remember, that school even Spencer couldn't get into? Spencer, who can solve mysteries in her sleep. Yeah, Psycho Cece is going there.

Good thing A set up cameras ALL OVER ROSEWOOD so that the Liars can conveniently see where the bomb is being set.

One day Cece's classes at UPenn are cancelled ("Alright, I called in a bomb scare") and Cece goes to the high school to visit her brother Jason and gets a yearbook photo taken, crudely explaining why Cece was in the yearbook (although not really because surely someone would be like who the fuck is this stranger). They also address the biggest question we've all been wondering. "I know what you're thinking, it's screwed up I dated my brother." Yes, Cece. That's what we're ALL thinking. Don't worry, though! Cece assures us they didn't bang. That's fine then, I was starting to worry this might have been a bit weird... NO CECE. You knowingly dated your brother! For an extended period of time! You guys have at least made out!

What's a harmless makeout session between siblings?

But, like most reveals in PLL, this is soon forgotten about when Ali ending up in the ground is explained. So far what we think we know is this: Mona hit Ali with a shovel out of anger. Someone buried her, thinking she was dead, but she was alive and escaped the pit with Grunwald's help. Then someone unknown hit Bethany Young over the head, thinking it was Ali (because they were wearing the same clothes), but Melissa thought she was dead so she also buried her in the ground to protect Spencer who she thought was the one to hit Ali in her drugged up state.

What Cece Drake reveals: Cece hit Ali with a brick, thinking it was Bethany Young, and Mrs D saw. (Rightfully) upset, she buries Ali in the ground and then pays off Wildon to protect Cece, who gets sent back to Radley. Later, Mona hits Bethany Young with a shovel, thinking it was Ali, and then Melissa buries her alive for the same reason (to protect Spencer).

tl;dr: Mona thought she killed Ali but it was Bethany. Cece thought she killed Bethany but it was Ali. Everyone else needs to start checking pulses before they bury people in the ground.

Even buried in the ground she looks like Sleeping Beauty.

Rightly so, both Cece and Mona are crying, which completely contradicts everything we know about both of these characters. I do feel compelled to remind everyone that A) Cece is A. A is the one that has been torturing these girls, physically and mentally, for the past few years and now she's crying because she thought she killed Ali, and B) Mona was the original A that Cece stole the game from. She didn't feel remorseful that she might have killed Ali, why is she suddenly crying about killing some random girl who was a psycho? These things do not add up. Is it some weird attempt to humanise the characters? Sympathy for the A's? The Liars are falling for it, apparently. Also, why is Wildon taking Cece back to Radley? Didn't they date at one point? And didn't Cece as Red Coat kill him? Also wasn't Wildon the one that was hounding the girls about the Ali investigation? Why do that if you know (or think you know) that she's buried in the DiLaurentis backyard? Honestly I have no idea any more. This show doesn't make any fucking sense.

Spencer kindly reminds everyone that they actually need to get out of this room because there is a bomb in Radley (thank you Spencer, I love you even though you're 40). Whilst looking for a way out, Mona finds Cece's stocks and shares on the magic science screen, explaining how an asylum patient is a billionaire able to afford all this fancy technology. Cue another flashback to Cece meeting Mona in Radley, explaining that Red Coat was originally just Red Bathrobe. Cece also brings up a valid point. "I could never trust Mona. She was Hanna's legit friend and she ran her over a car, where's the loyalty in that." Finally someone is remember Mona used to be A. Not Hanna though, who forgives her immediately. Cece talks about bumping into the Liars for the first time which gives rise to the worst green screen in PLL history. Honestly. The picture does not do it justice.

When you actually watch it, it's like she's in front of a chocolate frog card. It's so bad.

We get a little into why Cece took over the A game from Mona. She hated the Liars for their apparent happiness at Ali's death and she, as a loving sister, wanted revenge. She also suspected Ali to be alive so instead of trying to send her a message like a normal person, she decided to lock the girls in a burning house to lure her out, using... Sara as a bait Red Coat! Knew it, Shady Sara was Red Coat. How disappointing. Someone who has literally been in the show for about a week is one of the main antagonists.

Ali, who has somehow turned into the voice of reason, asks another important question. "If you really cared about me, why did you keep playing the game?" And finally, Psycho Cece is revealed. Because she enjoyed it. I mean, never mind that we just saw a whole human side to Cece and that she was only doing stuff for revenge. This was fun, and she loves all her "dolls". Really, do the writers just take a page each and go with it? This feels so disjointed right now. One minute Cece is framed as being mental, then she actually is. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

They eventually decide to escape (even though they had decided to do that ages ago) and Monda reveals her knife-shoe. Of course Mona has a knife shoe. I wouldn't be surprised if all her shoes didn't have knives in the heel, just in case. She smashes through the space ship wall to let the Liars escape, but she decides to stick around, because it's Mona and she's a nosy bitch. Also plot. Cece reveals that she wasn't the one to kill Jessica DiLaurentis; someone else killed her mother, but instead of calling it, she decided to bury her beneath the hydrangeas. Honestly, does no one here call the Hospital when someone dies? Do they just get pleasure knowing their loved ones are safe and sound in the back garden? Call a fucking morgue!!

"Don't be silly, Aria, of course I have my knife shoes on. I'm not a barbarian."

The Liars arrive at Radley in seconds because apparently Rosewood is only about 1x1 mile, where they find Shady Sara about to activate the bomb (didn't she set that up like half an hour ago? What has she been doing that whole time?). Cece presses the button to blow them all up, but fear not, Middle-Aged Spencer uses her expert knowledge to deactivate the bomb. I bet UPenn are kick themselves now. Ali runs out to let them know that Cece has legged it to the roof and Emily does the best thing she has ever done in an entire 5 and a half seasons of PLL. She smacks Sara in the face. Shady Sara goes down for the count. Then we're back at the beginning of the episode, with Cece about to jump off the roof, and... she doesn't. She steps down and hands herself in, again contradicting everything we know about A. A has managed to avoid police countless times, a few squad cars out the front of Radley wouldn't stop her.

Fast forward to Labor Day Weekend which means absolutely nothing to UK people but is apparently the time when kids drive off to college. Everyone's packing up their cars for the departure to college, except Ali, who didn't finish high school. No worries, though, because she gets to stand on the porch dressed like a mum and wave her kids off. They also talk about Sara who is conveniently released from hospital on this day. What happened to Sara? She got punched in the face she wasn't thrown into a pit of lava. Maybe she tried to escape and got shot? Rosewood PD do love their guns. That won't get expanded on until Season 8 anyway when Sara randomly comes back for revenge. It's an emotional goodbye but they deserve a little happiness. A is gone. The end.

"I love all my children equally. Except Emily. That lesbian thing really disappointed me."

But wait! Suddenly, it's five years later, because no one wants to pay attention to those boring college years. This makes the girls about 23. Ali is somehow a teacher at a school and married, even though she only complete high school about 4 years ago. In runs Aria, who has exactly the same hairstyle, except it's slightly lighter. "He's coming for you!" Of course he is. Whoever he is. It's not like that could be the end. Then the rest of the Liars run in. Hanna is looking good with long, thick hair. Emily looks exactly the same except she's wearing a pant suit. Spencer has a fringe. I mean, we have to show that they've aged somehow. And even though they just finished college they all have respectable jobs, because the job market in Rosewood is so fluid. Look at Ezra. He went from being a school teacher to a coffee shop owner to a volunteer working in Taiwan in less than 5 months. Still, I guess it gives them something to talk about for the next few season.

Mrs Rolly Poly. Because let's face it, she has been dressing like an overweight mum recently.

Overall thoughts

My original prediction was that A was Aria, because nothing bad ever happens to Aria. Emily got a car driven into her house, Spencer got locked in Radley, Hanna couldn't afford college (although why her mother didn't just sell that mansion they lived in I'll never know). What's the worst thing that happened to Aria? A locked her in the dollhouse and gave her a bob? Not a stylish, perfectly cut bob! Such a hard life, Aria.

I guess that was wrong, though. It was a messed up "using-trans-people-as-plot-device storyline". Putting trans people into shows as psychopaths is problematic. There is already enough stigma that being transgender is the product of a dysfunctional mind so creating this character whose whole reason for being this crazy is based on her being trans is... I don't know. I honestly think this storyline will be the break for PLL. How do they come back from this? Not to mention that some of the plot holes were filled with lazy explanations AND the fact that Sara was both Black Widow and Red Coat 2. I can't.

What I Say: It was good.

I’m bAck bitches! Okay, if you somehow remember an account by the name of rexisadinosaurrawr writing these after every PLL finale, you’re in luck because that was my old account. Wow. May I just say I am in total awe of Marlene fucking King and Vanessa Ray who played Cece (who I may add CAME TO MY FUCKING HOMETOWN LAST YEAR). It’s been how many seasons now? 5x2 which equals TEN and I can finally say I am satisfied. It’s no AHS or thrones finale but I’ll take what I can get. 

Thoughts:

When Cece first turned around my initial reaction was “ugh, really? I was betting on Caleb being adopted as a major clue.” But as soon as that thought circled my brain I realized I had been right all along. When we found out that “Charles” was in fact a DiLaurentis I was very confused. Why was Mrs D sending girls clothes to someone and giving matching ones to Ali? Hence why my initial theory following the season 5a finale was that Charles was trans. I flip flopped between thinking he/she went from girl to boy and vice versa, but I get a damn gold fucking star for that. Also, if you forgot about the episode where the girls went to the stable and found out that Mrs D was taking “Bethany” there and having her refer to her as “Aunt Jessie,” well I remember. I think she was actually taking Cece and when the guy said he remembered the pair visiting, the girls thought he meant Bethany when he mentioned a blonde girl. Pardon my gloating but I’m still excited about knowing the trans part. Okay, back to the rant. So Sarah Harvey. Wtf? I get that she was a runaway but I’m still confused on where her storyline meets Cece’s and what was going on with her. I mean, I knew something was up with her from the beginning but I actually thought she was Bethany for a time (I know, she’s dead, let’s forget I said that). Although I was slightly off, I knew something was up with her. And when she told Emily at prom that no matter what happens she still cared about her? Duh! That’s textbook for “I’m bad and got to know and actually started to like you. But I’m still bad.” Kinda like Ezra. To finish this shit off, let’s touch upon the five year jump. Okay, so when Sasha came out saying she was “so shocked about her storyline” and shit, I had a feeling she would be a teacher and would stay in Rosewood. First of all, they didn’t introduce the storyline with her helping kids for nothing. Secondly, she had a shitty upbringing in Rosewood so I thought she would stay to create “normalcy,” which was a also hint from Sasha. Also, I thought the last name change was a nice touch. Was it Rollins or something? I have no idea what Lorenzo’s last name is but we all knew she would find love to also create that normalcy effect. 

So here are some things/theories I got right (some weren’t mentioned above):

Charles is trans.

Sarah is a bad bitch.

Cece comes back and is also a bad bitch.

Reese isn’t bad.

Clarke isn’t bad.

Ali becomes a teacher after the five year time jump and stays in Rosewood.

And here are the things/theories I got wrong:

Caleb is A because he was adopted, I don’t recall meeting his parents, he’s an avid hacker and can do anything with technology, he kind of appeared out of nowhere when he was first introduced, and he was the only significant other to not have his/her loyalties questioned at one point.

Hannah is A because she’s actually wicked smaht (remember when she pronounced sats wrong? like come on, girl) when she pretends to be extremely dumb. Idk I had more reasons but I forget. Sorry not sorry.

Jason and Charles were swapped like Ali and Courtney (FYI, in the books Ali and Courtney are twins, please look up this story because it’ll take too long to tell) to make the twin thing actually happen, so real Jason wants revenge? Idk I let this one go because it doesn’t make sense. 

*This one is way far off and I disregarded it after the first episode of 5b* Charles and Bethany are brother and sister because Bethany is actually older than Ali (remember in the video where Mrs D is like kiss your sister? Well the age difference should’ve been way bigger so I assumed it wasn’t actually Ali, it was Bethany), and Jason and Ali are their cousins. That’s why she said kiss your sister to Charles. When Bethany died Charles hated the girls because she used them to switch places with Ali and died by accident and he also hated Mrs D because she buried her? Idk.

Questions?

-Why did Bethany draw those weird pictures of Mrs D in Radley?

-How does Sarah actually connect to all this?

-Jenna? Idk i’ve been asking this question for a while.

-Noel? Also been asking this one for a long time.

-Leslie/Radley/Charles/Bethany plot?

-What happened to Jason and Mr D?

-So Cece was actually the CEO of the Karasimi (idk how to spell it) group because she was so good at stocks? Why did she give Hannah the scholarship/what happened to that?

-Why was Sarah looking all guilty and disheveled when feeding the girls in the flashbacks when they were held captive?