Yet more fun with P:WOTR Translation
I was revisiting the localizations of Daeran's final quests and. Grrr. Below the cut because spoilers. I'm side-eyeing whoever was the narrative director for the English localization or PWOTR.
(My other posts on PWOTR localizations can be found here and here.)
So for Daeran, compare: "Прекрасно..."Дейран избегает смотреть вам в глаза. "Мне дали еще немного времени повоевать с отвратительными демонами в самом отвратительном месте Голариона, чтобы потом упрятать в застенок. Можем мы наконец уйти отсюда? Это место... меня нервирует" vs "Just wonderful..." Daeran avoids looking you in the eye. "I have been granted a little more time to keep fighting heinous demons in the most heinous region of Golarion, so that I may then be incarcerated afterward. Can we finally leave this place? It... unsettles me." NO. NYET. In the original, Daeran shifts registers into ironic colloquialism and deliberately is written as petulant. Most of this is lexical choice, in this case, but compare it to a closer register-focused translation below (how I'd go about it anyway, feel free to make suggestions):
"Marvelous..." Daeran avoids looking you in the eye. "They've given me a little while longer to fight revolting demons in the most revolting place in Golarion before tucking me away in a dungeon. Can we get out of here already? This place is..." He looks away. "...rather trying." Note here that нервировать is a marked calque in Russian. It's not "this place makes me nervous" or "it unsettles me", the fact of it being a calque from French gives it a very specific connotation regarding that KIND of person who would use it. This is a social register (a kind of aristocratic euphemism/understatement, it's a bit "precious" in the French literary sense of préciosité, as in performing refinement). TLDR: By not attending to the sort of register Daeran uses, the characterization changes from petulant (perhaps ironically so, but still petulant) where he is using both colloquialisms and hyperbole and understatements to convey his state of mind, to frankly kind of flat. To my ear, it's losing a fairly important layer, especially in the emotional context of that quest. And then we have this: For Regill, compare: "Ты чем-то недоволен, преступник? К тебе и без того уже проявили слишком много снисходительности. Командор, он опасен и даже не помышляет о раскаянии. С ним следует покончить здесь и сейчас."
vs "You dare to complain, criminal? You have already been shown too much leniency. Commander, he is dangerous and had no intention of repenting. He should be dealt with here and now."
Huh. No. Nyet. Those are just quite significantly different, starting with what tense is used. So a closer translation that conserves Regill's register and speech pattern would be something like this: "Something displeases you, criminal? You have already been shown more leniency than was warranted. Commander, he is dangerous and does not even contemplate repentance. The proper course is to end this here and now."
TLDR: One of the biggest differences here, is that Regill is talking in the present tense in the Russian version, noting that Daeran is unrepentant RIGHT NOW, in context of his previous utterance, he is making absolutely no inferences about whether in the past Daeran had intended repentance. And don't get me started on how помышлять and to intend are just not the same meaning. My overall sense of this is that Daeran's English localization polishes away some of his sharper edges, while the English version of Regill erases quite a bit of his sardonic wit and also makes him sound more crudely authoritarian than deductive / legalistic. And this is why translation is fun.
