#char:lain

Lain: When I awoke I was grasping a gun. The smell of death and metal woke me. I don’t understand it anymore. I’m absolutely crazy. I got scared. I took the gun, put it in a shopping bag, and hid it in a desk drawer. There’s a key to the drawer, but it isn’t any good. I know. I’ll hide it inside of Dad.

Lain: Do you know where I'm going?... I don't know either. That's because I'm going to be born soon. Will I become a more evolved human being? If I think so I might as well think so. A human without a body isn't human? There are people who have bodies that aren't human. Is that me? I'm not human? Lain is Lain. What is it to be human? You're human if you have a body? I'm me. Am I just conglomerated with my body? I need a body if I'm going to live in the real world. Suicide would be stupid. It would be better to just die naturally. I don't need it. I might need it someday. That might be true. I won't need a body to live in the Wired. I'll need the recollections of the body. How about the recollections of a body that grows older? My point of view may change? Is there a need for it to change? There's no guarantee that that will be you. Lain, what do I need to be on the Wired? Existence and will. The rest is just data.

Lain: Even when I’m not dying, my body feels fear. Mysterious. Is the reason that I have the potential to feel fear no matter what I do because of what’s recorded in my genes? I don’t need those kind of genes. This is a small world that seems large only to parasites.

Lain: Do I have a sad existence? I guess people think so. I don’t mind that much. I don’t need a backup. That would be useless. The me on the Net also had a sad existence. That’s why I killed her. Hey, did that hurt?

Lain: You people who want to know me, why do you want to know me? Will you benefit from knowing me? Am I for your research? For a stupid TV show?

Lain: From the standpoint of many religions, won’t I go to hell? Who will pass judgment on the me on the Net? How about me? Will God pass judgment on me? At any rate, I don’t need my body anymore.

Lain: I took my last walk. As I walked around town all day, I noticed Mom. She didn’t notice me at all. She looked at me like a total stranger. I can’t forgive her for that. I don’t have to worry about her anymore.

Lain: Lain, what do you want? Pleasure? Excitement? Friends? Me? What I need right now is someone who wants to know me. Touko-san promised me. She said that she would understand me. She said that she would choose me.