#chaptertwelve

PULSE POINT • 12 • NOT DONE YET

Summary: What could have ended doesn’t. Instead, the day stretches—easy, deliberate, and chosen. Outside the structure that once defined them, they begin to learn what this could be when neither of them steps back.

Warnings / Content Notes:

workplace power dynamic (attending / resident)

slow-burn romantic relationship

emotional vulnerability

consensual physical intimacy (kissing)

references to injury/disability (non-graphic)

shifting personal/professional boundaries

mild language

Previous Chapter(s): | Chpt. 1 | Chpt. 2 | Chpt. 3 | Chpt.4 | Chpt. 5 | Chpt. 6 | Chpt. 7 | Chpt. 8 | Chpt. 9 | Chpt. 10 | Chpt. 11 |

Recommended Listening:

Reader's Song: Wilder Mind – Mumford & Sons

Jack's Song: Northern Attitude – Noah Kahan

Bonus Track: Holocene- Bon Iver

Chapter 12: Not Done Yet

been trying keep busy in my free time so I reignited finishing libros 2. got a lil done, mutuals. yeet

Augustin lived about a nine minute walk away from Notre Dame. In the morning, the bells of the cathedral could be heard ringing as people were waking up and shops were opening. He would set out from his building and head out and walk towards the cathedral and cross to the other side of the river to look for something to do. One morning he noticed that some gypsy dancers and musicians had…

Spencer The thing about permanency is that no matter what, it is there, for all of eternity.  Though it may fade through the years, the existence will still be as concrete as it ever was.  There are means of covering up something that is permanent.  You can cloak it, disguise it, and turn it into something that it wasn’t meant to be.  There are markings that are permanent that were not chosen, and then there are those that were self-inflicted.  Those are the ones that we wanted there.  We wanted that permanency upon our flesh.  For many, it is a tattoo or a piercing.  For Spencer Reese James, she adorns no ink.  She has standard ear piercings, but nothing more.  There appears to the naked eye that the girl has no story to tell, yet it couldn’t be further from the truth.  There is but one man who has laid eyes upon the story her flesh tells, though even he does not know the reasons behind the marks she intentionally bears.  He has never asked and she has never told, yet eventually that day will come.  Little did she know that day would be September 17, 2015.  

The same routine had been met time after time, though over the last three months, not a singular new mark would be laid to her flesh outside of those at the hands of John James in the heated sexual moments that transpired between the two nightly.  The landscape of her flesh was ever the same to him.  Unquestioned.  Unchanging.  Her first time, it had been in the home of her parent’s house in McKinney, Texas.  What seemed like a million years ago, she held the blade between her fingers as tears streamed down her face, stricken with guilt, needing to feel the full wrath of what she had done that day.  The music within her ears was that of Judas Khrist, as usual, but this time, she was turning to some form of outlet for what she had done that day.  She could not speak of the take, for it laid tarnish to the badge she had once been so proud of.  She could tell not a soul of the payoff she had accepted that day, but she had in fact done just that.  An envelope of cash laid upon her nightstand to be given to her parents the next day.  A lie that would be told as to where the amount of cash had come from ready against her tongue, though the truth remained.  The up and coming Officer Spencer Reese had accepted a bribe. The years that had passed left their marks against her flesh.  Today would stand to add another notch to her belt, though not one she was proud of.  The fact of the ritual was set and had been in stone for years, so when she took the payoff that day at work, she knew the fate that would await her that evening upon arriving home.  Three shots and a stream of blood.  Her penance for that which she had done.  Spencer didn’t have to take the bribes any longer.  Her father was out of the woods.  The finances were mostly solid within her parent’s home and truthfully, since her marriage to John, they weren’t much speaking to her these days.  There was no reason for accepting the envelope, yet she did.  A stash of cash had been on hold for months as the detective reported for work daily, doing nothing more than her job, then returning home to her husband.  But any habit can only be put down for a certain period of time before it will rear its sometimes ugly head and take the addicted back down a path once more, proving in that moment that it had not been merely circumstance that had placed tarnish upon her badge.  The truth was laid out for her that day.  She was not just a dirty cop with a firm reason.  She was no longer redeemable in her actions.  The truth was, she was a dirty cop.  She had a price.  She could be bought, as well as her silence.  She could be paid to turn that blind eye.  She could sell inside information.  It should have been a show of power, yet it made her feel more and more dead inside.  There was no reason for her take now.  Instead, just filth.  Worthlessness.  Disgrace.

For the last several months, the department was shifting officers and detectives around constantly.  Statewide cutbacks resulted in not enough hands on deck which resulted in the need for ‘flexibility’ as it was pitched to the Homicide unit three months before.  ‘Trying something new’ sounded fine at the time, yet what it really meant was working Homicide while combining with Organized Crime.  Many times, the two crossed over anyways, yet not always.  Spencer confessed to Kenneth in the privacy of their unmarked car that morning it had been pitched.  “I’m out of my element here, Ryan.  I know sh*t about organized crime.”  Ryan assured her that she’d be fine and the take would be good.  To enjoy the ride.  It never lasts that long.  Besides, if they did well enough, they could get shifted to that department permanently and then they’d really be rolling in it.  Take opportunities weren’t high in homicide.  But Organized Crime?  It was a gold mine.  Spencer swept the thought away almost as quickly as it had begun, reporting to work, doing what she should do.  Once the badge was tarnished, could it be cleaned up?  She didn’t know, but since her marriage to John, she’d taken nothing, living a clean life in that regard.  But today, that all changed.  Today, she would face a payout with her partner at her side.  After speaking to a man personally, she turned to motion Kenneth over to them.  “Five K.  Nothing less.”  She offered; her pitch, her score.  Kenneth lifted his chin, backing up the tiny cop’s offer.  A draw the two had been working towards, yet why did she feel like shit the instant the words left her lips? The man hummed and hawed to the point Spencer shrugged her shoulders.  “Let’s go.”  She stated, turning on her heels before her arm was grabbed with a command to stop.  A subtle grin up to her partner that dissipated as she turned back around.  She was cute.  Hard to reason or bargain with.  She laid it out like it was, as she had done a million times before, yet it didn’t sit right with her.  “Change of heart?”  She asked, tilting her head to one side.  “Now it’s six.”  She added, the man quickly scrambling before she upped the price any further.  Once he had six grand within his grasp, she held out her hand, waiting until the money had transferred hands.  “Raid is set for 4.  I’d probably be ready by 1.  They like to shift their schedule about and come a few hours earlier to avoid corruption and tip offs.  Pleasure doing business with you.”  She slipped the money within her pocket, stepping alongside Kenneth towards the unmarked patrol.  She nudged her elbow into his ribs, realizing what he had told her months before was becoming true.  There was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.  Instant remorse, though she showed no signs of it.  She worked in a completely corrupted department.  Nearly every badge carried with it the sins that hers did.  So she took the payout and interfered with the raid.  There would be another one in just a few weeks’ time.  The price for that would double.  Eventually, she’d not be privy to the information and the raid would happen anyways.  The department would ultimately lock them away and all this day would have been was a payoff for more time on the outside. It was different than the self-protecting schemes she ran with her marriage to John.  She was protecting herself as much as she was him in that manner.  Both of them would see prison time, thus beating the system was necessary.  And thus far, they had.  It was different than when she was accepting payouts for medical expenses of her family.  That was understandable, even to the most judgmental of eyes.  This time, it couldn’t be blamed on protection or financial needs.  It couldn’t be blamed on anything aside from her true self showing through.  An act driven by a painful reminder of what broke looked like.  Spencer wouldn’t be broke again.  She wouldn’t lose it all again.  If she was to take, it would be by choice, not necessity.  Progress?  Perhaps.  She had been raised to plan for the future, but somehow she knew this wasn’t what her parents meant.  Spencer had changed in the last several years.  She was unrecognizable.  She had pulled away from those who once mattered the most.  She had ceased communication with people who had been the closest to her.  When she did speak to them, those who knew her now would not recognize her as the switch flipped and she turned on the former Spencer Reese Dallas charm.  Her accent would show itself.  She’d use a sweeter tone.  Which one was the real Spencer, she couldn’t say.  She wasn’t sure if there was a solid answer to that anymore, yet as she unlocked the door to the apartment, she was coming face to face with who she was now.   John’s bike was not outside in his normal hiding place for it.  She was fairly certain he was still at the club, but hadn’t heard from him that afternoon to be certain.  As she unloaded her person of items to the counter top as she so often did, she slipped into the guest room that had been meant to be her room before she turned John’s world on an axis.  Within a box in the corner of the room, where many of her personal effects were still stored, was the last of her bathroom items.  Most of them had taken up residence in John’s bathroom, the daily items.  But what laid within the bag in this box was anything but daily.  There had been times that it had been a daily resource, but it hadn’t been reached for since she married John James.  Withdrawing the small bag, she unzipped it, finding the contents just as she had left them.  She took the bag from the room, laying it down on the end of the sofa as she entered into the bedroom she shared with her husband.  A few minutes later, she would return in her ceremonial attire.  A pair of yoga pants and a black sports bra, a stretchy black tank top overtop of the two.  She made her way into the kitchen, lifting her knee to the countertop so that she could lift herself up onto the counter, reaching upwards to the shelf that housed the bottles of liquor.   Armed with the collection of items, she sat down against the sofa, withdrawing three shot glasses from the bag.  Each one was placed against the coffee table, filled to the brim with the substance before her.  As she stared at the glasses, she took a slow breath in through her nostrils.  The first shot was brought to her lips, taking within her the full shot, swallowing it down as quickly as possible.  The burn was strong, though she knew each shot after would go down a bit more smoothly.  The second shot, the third.  After all three shots were within her system, she reached for the bag once more, withdrawing a package of bandages, laying the box against her thigh.  A small container of alcohol pads.  The last item remaining within the bag was a small ziploc bag of blades.  With a hard bite to her lower lip, she withdrew one blade from within.  It had been so long since she last graced her flesh with the sharp edge of that blade, yet here she was again, staring at it as if it held within it the release she would need.  Paying dues for that which she had done.  Silent punishments that no one else would see.  Leaning back against the sofa, she rested the blade against her opposite thigh. Folding her tank top up over the sports bra beneath, baring her mid-section, she glanced down at the collection of scars against her ribs.  Some molded into others, creating stronger lines.  In some places, her skin had seemingly changed tone, a near continuous scar from previous takes.  She could almost count them, marking every bribe she had accepted since the first.  The proof laid against her flesh for all of the wrong she had done behind the badge of justice.  Another dirty cop, yet this one with a conscience.  Staring down at her own flesh, she had been sorry for each one of them.  She had an addiction, be it to the take or the blade, she wasn’t yet sure.  For years, it hadn’t been about the take or the cut that would follow.  It had been about helping her father.  It had been about doing what needed to be done.  Yet this time, she lifted the shining blade from her thigh, holding it between her fingers, twisting it around, simply staring down at it.  The release and freedom it would provide was comparable to nothing else.  She needed this. With a small hand, she reached for the bottle, bringing it to her lips, saying to hell with the shot glasses.  They were holding her back.  It would be nothing for John to arrive home and find her drunk.  It was easily explained away with the line of work she was in.  It was no different than her need to be controlled and possessed by the man.  She needed to be out of control.  She needed another in control.  She needed John.  The blade.  The bottle.  This stood no different.  She needed to get outside of her own head as her thoughts were constantly contradictory.  With the bottle in one hand, the blade was found in her other.  She leaned back against the back of the sofa again, finally bringing the corner of the blade to her flesh.  The sharp tip pressed against her flesh, forming a puncture in one of the few completely unscarred places against her side.  At one time, she had favored her right side.  Now she was at her left.  Only a few other marks were etched there, this one spaced closely to the last.  She had realized rather quickly that she’d have to do this in a certain manner if she was to continue.  The scar to the lower right side had nearly faded completely from the first take years before, lightening a little more every day.  By the time she got there again, it might just be gone completely.  At the lower side of her ribcage, she made the puncture.  “Fuckkk.”  She whined as she tugged her lower lip between her teeth, closing her eyes, wincing at the piercing.  Dragging the blade against formerly perfect flesh, she applied pressure, forcing the blade to slice through the top layers of her flesh until she could withstand no more.  Dragging the blade across, the incision was made, blood instantly forming at the initial puncture spot, a stream developing there against her flesh, slowed by the alteration of gravity.  She had a process.  She had become far too good at doing this to herself, defacing her body, paying her penance  After a two and a half inch gash was made, she laid the blade against her taut stomach, remaining in the laid back position as she ceremoniously watched the stream of blood as payment. The burn was intense.  Her side throbbed as the tissue beneath became swollen with irritation.  A natural immune reaction as her vessels continued to pump her blood, through the opening, to collect in a crimson stream down her side.  It would be several minutes before this feeling would subside, though she wished it could last longer.  In the meantime, she took to the bottle again.  Drinking the substance as if it were water, she finished off the formerly half full bottle.  There was no longer a burn within her throat, as predicted.  As the red stream of blood trailed just down from the incision, her tears welled within her eyes, the release so blissful it expelled from her eyes in the form of tears.  Within just a few minutes, she was lowering the bottle to the coffee table, careful not to allow the blood to trail to the three month old furniture she sat upon.  Her sins paid for.  The release felt and passing as her blood formed a loose clot over the cut.  An alcohol pad was withdrawn from the bag at her side, ripped open by her teeth, tending to the stream of blood down her side.  Another reached for and opened in the same manner, again tending to the residual trail left behind.  The alcohol pad was left to rest against her stomach beside the blade, eventually to be used to finish cleaning up beneath where the blade laid.  Opening the box of bandages at her thigh, she withdrew a package, opening it.  The trash laid upon the sofa beside her as the 4x3 bandage was pulled from its flimsy backing.  With careful fingers, she placed it against her side, encompassing the gash at her side.  As she placed it firmly in place, the door of the apartment, directly to her side of where she sat, opened at John’s control.  
 There was no time for cleaning up her mess. There was no time for anything. Instead, she only had the time to turn her head, meeting his eyes from the sofa with her own tear stained eyes. A bandage at her side. A blade at her stomach. A stain of her own blood beneath the blade. The alcohol had given her the bravery to inflict the wound, yet she felt instantly sober when seeing the man enter the apartment. She did not attempt to scramble; he knew of the scars. Surely he knew they were put there by her own hand. Yet how long ago had they been? In his eyes, they could have been the outlet of a depressed prom queen who took to her own skin to feel. They could have been from years past, but this solitary moment would prove these were not the outcries of a teenager, but of a young woman paying her dues. With the subject never breeched before, she wasn’t sure she wanted to enter into it this way. She always knew that maybe one day they would speak on it, but now? Now she internally reprimanded herself for being so stupid as to do it when John could enter at any time. Why had she not done so in her car or the locked bathroom that night post intimacy when she wouldn’t have been caught with a bandage at her side? Instead, she was caught red-handed, quite literally. “John…” a name but a whisper at her lips. A gasp of air drawn in after the one syllable name. Emotional was weak and she knew she spent enough time appearing weak before him, yet the shame painted across her features spoke volumes. John wouldn’t be familiar with this self-loathing ritual at the hand of his wife, nor would she know how to react to his first observation of it. This would stand to be the only observation that had ever occurred since her dirty habit began years before in Texas. Instead, she was frozen in place. The liberation and retribution she had felt moments before was now replaced with deep rooted disgrace for that which she had done. The relief not enough to cover for the guilt that she would now be stricken with. She could make no attempt to move as she remained in her prior position, leaned back against the sofa, items strewn about her as her hand remained pressed at the bandage at her side. A long moment of her eyes locked to his before her head hung in disgust at the situation at hand. She couldn’t begin to explain it away, as she knew to anyone else her reasons would sound unreasonable. The tough little cop, On the Take, corrupt, had a dirty little secret that flawed herself in the reckoning of her sins. Though in this moment, she felt remorse for the actions after the take, the remorse of the payout, all culminating into the loss painted all over the young woman before him.  John Meeting her eyes, Johnny’s back pressed to the door. The click locking. Mildly stunned. To think, he had been having a decent day to. Somewhat excited to get home. Now the air had been clean stolen out of him. Her too? He had walked in on his brother, better yet, dragged his brother’s bleeding and barely conscious body from stage to stage. This same act, only she did not have a stage to cater to. Watching her look away from him. The air thick, moments passing by like hours as he finally dragged himself towards her. Standing in front of her, hand finding the bandage to inspect the damage. Amazed he didn’t piece that one together sooner.

 Spence As John moved from the door, Spencer did not see him, though she could hear his booted steps through the space towards her.  She kept her head down, not daring to speak as she had nothing she could say.  She was ashamed that he had found her like this.  Her guilt radiated off her pores into the space around her.  As he came to her, leaning down to reach for the bandage at her side, she slowly removed her hand.  There was no fighting him.  He was going to look.  She knew him well enough to anticipate this.  Her eyes still diverted away from his, she took a sharp breath as the bandage was pulled from her side.  The words ‘I’m fine’ were there against her tongue, a reassurance she had given him a million times for other incidents, yet this time she couldn’t find the words to speak.

 John Watching her as she didn’t even look at him, as if he had done something wrong here. He didn’t know what to think as his teeth found his bottom lip. Pulling back the bandage, inspecting the damage as he pressed the pressure back to the cut. He had seen too much blood to be squeamish now. He leaned up, leaving her to hold it as he cleaned up her crime scene. The blade specifically went with him to the trash and anything else around her he could find. Still saying nothing.

 Spence The exchange of no words between them left her fearing what would be said when he did finally break his silence.  As he pressed the bandage back to her side, she held it in place as he lifted the blade and alcohol pads from her stomach, collecting the wrappers from the seat of the couch cushion.  It wasn’t until he walked away to dispose of everything that she finally lifted her head slightly, watching him from behind his back.  The bite at her own lower lip keeping her silenced as she remained in the reclined position against the sofa.  Every item taken, even those unused, she could only assume he was putting an end to her rituals in that moment.

 John Tossing everything into a trash bag that he pulled out of the can, tying it off as he kicked it onto the floor to be taken out. Re-entering the room as he glanced around to assure he wasn’t missing anything there before he was heading into the bathroom. Popping open the medicine cabinet and subsequent drawers. Finding anything and everything with a remote edge on it that he tossed into a nearby box that was taken to the bedroom. Sat on the bed to be sorted through. Razors and the like to be loaded into his safe. She’d have to ask for those items as far as he was concerned as he walked towards the dressers that had been assigned to her. Nearly flipping the room upside down in the hunt for anything else she could use against herself.

 Spence The noise in the other room couldn’t be denied.  She slowly rose from the sofa where she had sat for the duration, easing into the bedroom where John was turning the place upside down.  Her eyes grew wide as she stood holding the bandage to her side, her tank top still upturned, acting as if she were some kind of drug addict and he was in search of her secret stash.  “John?  What are you doing?”  She asked, the confusion clearly there against her features.  She approached him as he tossed through her dresser, grabbing his arm with her free hand.  “What are you looking for?”  She asked, finally having broken her silence in sheer shock at the mess he was making in search of what?  

 John Hearing her first question, he didn’t seem to hear her. Eyes glowing wildly as he grabbed each drawer. Pulling it from the track and dumping its contents, tossing the empty drawer back onto the track before he was at the other. Making it clear that he was intending to go through each article of her clothing. Not even noticing she was there as she grabbed at one of his arms, the way she asked reminding him of so many that went before. All those nights rooting through his mom’s shit and Judas’ and even Nat’s. They all had that tone of subtle guilt. “You know what the fuck I’m looking for.” He reminded her deeply, nearly a growl as he tossed out another drawer.

 Spence Her hand at his arm was of no use as he was far stronger than she was, continuing on the mission he was on to be sure there were no hidden blades.  She took a step back, resolving to what he was doing.  “John, there’s nothing else.  It was a bag in one of the boxes in the other room from my apartment that has never been unpacked.”  She offered the information, though she knew he wouldn’t take it.  If she were in his shoes, she wouldn’t take it.  But he was completely missing what was right in front of him.  She wasn’t hooked on cutting.  She didn’t do it for recreational sport.  But if he wanted to believe that in her now, then she was going to let him do what he felt necessary.  “I’m not some closet cutter, John.”

 John He heard her yet he didn’t all at once, dumping out each drawer until they were empty. Turning around and facing the mountain of clothing, he didn’t know what to believe but it wasn’t her in that moment. He knew addicts, he knew addiction in every form. All he could think that he was now sharing a bed with another, even as she spoke. “I don’t know what you are right now.” He stated, tone not inviting conversation. He had nothing to say to her as he began to sort through her belongings.

 Spence Spencer knew John would find not another single blade in her possession, aside from the razor from the bathroom he had already found.  There were no others aside from the bag of them in her items that he had already tossed in the garbage.  She stood beside the dresser, leaning against the wall, waiting for him to come to the same conclusion.  She knew his behavior and that there was nothing she could say or do to stop him.  He had to see for himself that she was telling the truth.  When he was done, maybe he’d actually hear her out on why he saw what he did, but for now, she had to let him see her as an addict, as he could see nothing else.  Silence befell her as she waited, knowing to buck against him would only further his speculations.

 John Finishing in silence, nothing more than the sound of ragged, anger induced breathing as he combed through her clothing yet still knew she could still be hiding something. He fell just short of ransacking the entire room. Flipping mattresses, pulling things out from the wall though his entire body wanted to do so as the dog walked in somewhere amongst the chaos. Suspicious of what he was hearing as Johnny finally pulled back.

 Spence Watching the entire process, Spencer knew her role in this.  She stood idly by, waiting.  She’d make not a move, nor speak a word as she let him continue on.  When finally he stopped, she remained just as she had been beside the door.  She knew what he had seen when he walked in must look like she was addicted to the blade the way so many were to their various addictions, yet he couldn’t be further from the truth.  She did not hold this against him as she saw what he was doing as a testament to the level of just how much the man cared for her, even if it went unsaid.  The anger in his eyes was unlike anything she had seen in him, but she would give him that as well.  “If you’re done…” she whispered in a submissive tone, requesting permission to clean up her things that were now strewn about the room, the only thing not searched being her personal cavities.

 John Not sure whether he was satisfied having come up with nothing, the crazed need to find just something as he heard her question. Hands raised as he took a step back. Letting her have at it as he pulled out of the bedroom. Walking to the living room where his thoughts only intensified. Not sure whether he was on the verge of a psychotic break or a panic attack. The heat of the room penetrating through. Visibly sweating bullets as he forced open the window. Chest tightening all at once. His head finding the side of the wall. Smacking his forehead into the drywall several times over. Just trying to combat this beast taking over him.

 Spence As she stepped forward to begin sorting through the mess at the floor, she caught the glimpse of John leaving the room from the corner of her eye.  As the sound echoed of him crashing his head into the wall time after time, she dropped the bandage at her side to run into the living space where he was.  A moment she normally would have paused in to assess the situation, she passed up on.  Racing over to him, slipping herself between him and the wall.  If he thrust his head forward again, it would be into her own forehead.  Lifting both hands to his face, she forced him to look down at her.  “John.  It’s not what you think.  Stop.  Listen to me.  Sit down and listen to me.”  Her reasoning may have been lost, but she liked to think within her own mind that their connection had drawn deep enough that she could stop him now that he had found nothing, now that he had seen the proof that it was isolated to the one bag she had in the living space.  “Just listen to me.”  She pleaded, eyes truthful to his.

 John By the time he felt her hands to his face, his hands were already pushing hers down. His vision darkening. Be it from the hit to the head or the shortness of breath. He didn’t want to talk to her or to listen to her. Thinking she would most likely just lie to him to save her own ass. There was no listening for the man, much less relaxing as his hands left hers. Pulling out of her grasp as he walked down the hall and into the bathroom of his bedroom. Closing and locking the door behind it. Leaning to it as he slipped down to sit at its foot against the tile floor.

 Spence A connection she thought was there, an attempt to draw him in, had only resulted in him walking away from her, going into the bathroom.  The moment the bathroom door closed, the sound forced the tears from her eyes.  She had held it together as he ransacked the place, knowing he had to do it.  But when he wouldn’t hear her, that was when she completely fell apart.  She couldn’t chase him down if he didn’t want to be near her.  She loathed herself in that moment that the now exposed cut had been made, so why shouldn’t he loathe her now?  He didn’t want to speak, therefore she had no other choice but to go into the bedroom and start to clean up the mess throughout the room.  Starting first with her clothes, folding them one by one and replacing them into the dresser through the falling of tears that left her eyes.  

 John Keeping his back to the door, his head thumped to it. The back of his skull going what he had been doing minutes before as he was alone and permitted such a thing. His throat seeming to close up as he gave up a few coughs. Now recognizing this as a full-out panic attack as he tried to regulate his breathing. Standing up where he walked to the sink, shaking hands turning on the water as he splashed cold water on his face. Attempting to lure himself back from the panic only to feel the anger underneath.

 Spence The sound of his head hitting the door had Spencer jumping with each blow.  The coughing noise to follow had her at the door, turning the locked knob.  “John?  John c’mon.  Open the door.”  She pleaded again.  Her hand at the knob more incessant.  She knew she could gain entry to the bathroom should she wish, but she was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here to open it.  “John we have to talk.  You’re going to hurt yourself.  Please open the goddamn door!”  

 John Hearing her at the door, he shook his head to himself. Reaching down to remove the now soaked shirt of both sweat and water. An equally hot trickle down the back of his neck had his fingers idly searching. The thick blood coating his fingers as he looked them over. The smear of blood to the bathroom door where he had evidently opened himself up. Much like her though this was by sheer accident as he returned to the sink. Unable to be bothered much by it, too busy focusing on breathing and how rigid his lungs felt in that moment.

 Spence “John, please?”  She asked again, her words low toned, something familiar.  With John still refusing to answer her at the door, she released the handle.  She took a step back to lower the tank top down against her midsection.  Words there at her lips, yet she said not another.  Allowing the apartment to fall silent.  She sank to the floor beside the door, taking slow deep breaths to attempt to calm herself, knowing if she was upset that wasn’t going to help him in the slightest.  “If you can’t look at me, I get it.  Sometimes I can’t look at me either.  Sometimes I do things and I can’t make them right, so instead, I pay for them, one cut at a time.  You’ve seen them before.  Each one is in payment for my sins.  Today I took a bribe, John.  That’s it.  I pay for my sin and the bag goes away until there is another.  You didn’t marry an addict.  You married a corrupt cop with a conscience.”

 John He shook his head at her explanation, it wasn’t computing with him through the door. It made no sense. He was a criminal in his own right. Bribing cops was part of the lifestyle. There was no logic that could find him in that moment. He couldn’t be spoken down. Eyes dilating through the panic attack, every inch of him tightening as his hand found his stomach. Attempting to force out an exhale before the tightness of his chest and inability to breathe pushed him back to the floor. Pressing his head between his knees, elbows pressed there at the tops of his kneed as his hands passed down the back of his bleeding head.

 Spence The silence throughout the apartment allowed Spencer to catch the sound of John’s breathing within.  The sounds were faint, but enough that she could hear him.  “It started when my dad was shot.  The department was of no help.  The insurance money wasn’t enough.  I was two years out of the academy.  I moved home to help pay the bills, but it wasn’t enough.  The first time I took a bribe, I was weighed with guilt, yet could tell no one.  My father’s a cop.  He’s all I ever wanted to be.  And I spat on the badge he wore the day I took money to help him.  That night, I didn’t know what to do.  I drank until I couldn’t see straight and then I did it.  Every time since then, it’s been my way of releasing the guilt.  You can believe me or you can call me a liar, but either way, John?  Please open the door.  Please.”  A final plea from her lips as she pressed her hand to the floor beside her, her fingertips slipping just beneath the door to attempt to reach out to him in the only way she knew how.  Only when she did, she felt a warmth against her hand.  Withdrawing her hand, she was faced with crimson fingertips.  This immediately had her on her feet, looking around the ransacked room.  “John!  Open the door!  Open the door, John!”  She demanded, searching and finally grabbing for the metal lamp that sat bedside, knowing it would be enough to knock the doorknob off and she could then gain entry without risking her normal procedure of shooting off the handle.  

 John Not realizing she saw anything and not seeing a huge amount of blood in the process considering most of it had begun to trail down his back and through his fingers. Focusing on his breathing, those deep exhales. Not remembering an anxiety attack like this since he had been a child. Then, he had been haunted by them. Since then, he had thought he had overcome them as his eyes found the door. Finally listening though everything sounded faint and he was blacking out. Able to project that the door just might be coming down and his defenses would be sieged.

 Spence “John…” her words were pleading, not wanting to enter this way, but the slightest amount of blood on her fingertips told her he was hurt.  There was nothing that was going to stop her from getting to him in that moment, even if it meant having to take the door down herself.  Closing her eyes tightly, she gripped the lamp in her hands.  It wasn’t as reliable as her gun would be, but there was no way she was firing off a round at the handle just to hit him in the process.  Her hands joined around the lamp, she lifted it above the handle, delivering two firm blows before the inexpensive fixture snapped and fell to the floor.  Dropping the lamp to her feet, she quickly worked her fingers within the metal mechanism within to unlatch the door and pull it opened.  Stepping inside, she immediately fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around his head, dragging his head onto her lap.  The medical training she did had escaped her seeing him like this.  The tears from before had given way to that which she had to do, yet had now returned.  She had done this to him, another cross for her to bear.  “John… please say something.  Can you hear me?”  She asked, knowing she should be searching for the injury, yet her need to get him to speak, to prove to her that he was at least okay enough for that, had overwhelmed her.

 John It was all fading off for him, barely even hearing the door being broken into before her voice. Being pulled easily wherever she wanted. Not fighting as his eyes vacantly stared. Summoning up a short breath as he shook his head. Fighting a losing battle to the fogginess. His hand finding the source of his tight lungs against his chest. Raking his nails to his skin as if that could help him, giving up another deep cough as he rolled onto his stomach and off of her lap. The tightness finally breaking up as he took in a deep gasp of air. As if he had never breathed it before. The audible suction of breath and another series of deep, racking coughs as the oxygen finally filtered through.

 Spence Finding his eyes, she knew what this was.  She had the training for it, yet when it was someone you love, all training goes clean out the window.  His nails against his skin, an attempt to open an airway straight through his flesh, would bring her back to that which she needed to do.  “It’s going to be okay, John.”  She assured, even hearing the fresh breath he took in, followed by the coughs.  He was opening up, but she knew she could help him further.  Dragging a stack of towels from the cabinet, she positioned them beneath his feet, raising his feet up and allowing him to lie on his back.  Though he may hate her in that moment, she wasn’t leaving him.  She knew that serious progress had to be made in a matter of minutes or he would be right back on the verge of a blackout, at which point she would have no choice but to call for emergency services, which neither of them truly wanted with the condition of the apartment looking like a domestic violence call.  

 John Taking in those first few breaths if oxygen as he was pushed to his back. It was like being born all over again as each bit of oxygen brought his color back from that intense red that had crept over him. Each vein raised under his skin and he shook like a leaf. Freezing though he was profusely sweating. Managing to have cut his chest open with his nails, laying on the growing pool of his blood as the black faded around his eyes. Breathing still ragged and out of breath but improving with each drive for air.

 Spence As the color began to even out on his features, Spencer was able to sigh a sigh of relief.  The tears still ran down her face as she looked down over him, having gone from frustrated to upset to angry to scared to death all too quickly.  She had been holding her tongue for days on end now over her affections for him, knowing he knew them, but holding them out of respect for him to feel no pressure at her emotions.  Yet in this moment, there was simply no restraint.  She drew close to him, taking his hand in her own, though she truly wanted to wrap her entire body around his.  Her hand clutching tightly to his, her sobs taking over as she watched him slowly come back.  “Damn it, John.  You can’t leave me.  You can be mad at me, but there’s a no death clause here.  I love you.”  She stated through clenched shut eyes, her tears falling against his own flesh as she sat close to him, hovering just above.

 John Feeling her at his hand, his eyes closed. Overwhelmingly exhausted after that as his breathing finally found some regularity. Everything in him hurt, the storm of it had left him with nothing as heavy lids slowly opened. Hearing her statement, having known that for some time now. He swallowed hard as his eyes closed again. Giving no indication as to his own feelings even if he physically wanted to.

 Spence The silence beneath her did not come as a surprise.  She never expected him to reciprocate, though he needed to know it.  She may have shown him her own heavy imperfection, but she loved him through all of his.  She couldn’t turn it off and she wouldn’t even try to.  Sitting beside him on the bathroom floor, his blood staining her own lap and hands, she didn’t care.  Just to be with him and be sure that he was okay, even if he hated her in the end of it.  It didn’t matter.  She said not another word, allowing only the sounds of their mutual breathing and her tears to be heard as she waited out the storm with him, watching over him while clutching that hand tighter within hers.

 John Just when it all seemed to be leaving him, abruptly his thoughts channeled another deep racking cough as if it was all about to happen again. His eyes meeting hers. Hand tightening within hers as if he was attempting to tell her something but in a moment? His intense anxiety and all around fear would br understood. It swelled up, it needed to be released. “I love you…” he confessed weakly, voice barely able to be heard. Not sure she had even heard it but there it was. Out in the open. Suddenly explaining it all.

 Spence The sound of his cough had her staring down to him, ready to bolt for the phone to call for emergency services, despite the condition of the apartment.  His eyes caught hers and she nodded her head, reading him all wrong as she thought he was asking for help.  Just as she initiated the movement in her knees that would lift her up, she felt that hand tightening within her own.  She paused, refusing to leave his side if that was where he wanted her.  When he spoke, his voice so quiet, she almost thought she was imagining things.  Hearing things that weren’t really there.  Convincing herself of something again that wasn’t necessarily true.  Yet his lips moved.  The proof was there beneath her.  All of his actions in the bedroom, in the living room, the bathroom, they all made sense to her in that moment.  “John…” she whispered, wanting more than anything to press her lips to his, yet refraining as she had to be sure he was okay first.  “One more time?”  She asked, the slightest light behind her eyes shining through, the hope that she hadn’t heard something that wasn’t there, asking him for confirmation.

 John The way he merely looked at her said it all. Pleading with her to not toy with him that moment. To indulge herself. She had heard him and he knew she had. But he wasn’t in the spot at the moment as he sucked in another sharp breath. This was bad enough for him, he didn’t need any of her help as the warmth of his own blood seeped over his head. Drying within his hair and down the back of his neck and back.

 Spence That look said more than words needed to say.  Leaning down over him, she pressed her lips to his forehead, holding a kiss there against his flesh.  “I love you too.”  She finally replied, still holding on to his hand as if to her own life.  Her own emotions still taking over, an exchange of words through tear filled eyes as she sat with him.  “Let me take a look at your head?”  She asked, her hand finally releasing his as she reached for his neck.  She would not lift without his help, though now that he was breathing somewhat regularly again, she needed to see just how bad it was.  Head wounds, no matter how small, seemed to gush, so there was no way to gauge it on the amount of blood loss.

 John Hearing her return the phrase, he was a man who was conditioned to think those three words were a gateway into being treated badly. An anchor. An excuse. No one had ever dislodged that idea from his head and he wasn’t sure anyone could at this point as she requested to see his head. The mere action of rolling to his side using up what little energy he possessed.

 Spence As John turned to his side, she hadn’t meant for him to use so much energy to do so when she might’ve been able to get a look from just lifting his head.  “Okay…” she spoke softly as she carefully brought her fingertips through his hair.  A gentle touch kept very slow as she did not want to come upon the wound suddenly.  Following the mass of blood collected in one area, she nodded her head, though he couldn’t see her.  “I have a first aid kit in the car…” she spoke, gnawing at her lower lip.  She didn’t want to leave him, but she knew she could tend to the wounds herself if she did.  “Here…” she spoke, hands searching his pockets to find his phone still within.  “I’m calling my phone.  I’ll stay on with you while I run downstairs.”  She pressed the phone into his hand as she stood up, leaving another kiss at his forehead.  “Two minutes. Tops.”  She explained as she stepped out of the bathroom, looking over at him.  “Two minutes.”  She confirmed, running to the kitchen counter where her personal items were.  Grabbing her phone, connecting the call, as she grabbed her car keys.  

 John Hearing her mention her first aid kit, he nodded weakly. Feeling her place the phone in his hand and dialing her number. That was one way to prove to him that she wasn’t leaving. That it had all gotten very intense very fast and she was discovering a window out. He heard her confirmation. Hand weakly holding the phone by his ear as he took a deep breath. Barely able to stay awake.

 Spence Hearing him breathe through the phone would have to be enough.  The man had barely managed the three most difficult words for him to ever speak, more than likely expelling all of his energy on bringing them forth.  The sound of the door slamming to the building could be heard, directly followed by that of her unlocking her car.  “You still with me, John?”  She asked as she popped the trunk, retrieving the first aid kit within.  With no regard to the bloody mess of clothes she had on, she slammed the trunk closed to turn and run back towards the building.

 John Grunting lowly in response, a sound she recognized as he used it often enough to answer her question. Hearing the car door in the background. “You know…” he begun weakly, throat clearing. A little more of a voice but not much. “It’s still not too late to turn around and forget all about this place…” he reminded her, all about him, about everything that had happened to her in his city that chewed people up and spit them back out. Still surprised she wasn’t running towards the hills yet.

 Spence Hearing his grunt, she had to smile through tear stained cheeks as she pulled open the door to the building.  Clearing double stairs at a time, she kept the phone pressed to her ear.  His words coming through low, but loud enough that she heard them.  “Mmm…” she hummed as she got up to the apartment door, swinging it opened, coming around through the bedroom door to the bathroom entry way.  His body turned towards the door, she had to smile as she met those eyes.  “Not a chance in hell.”  She assured as she spoke both through the phone and to his face all at the same time.  Lowering the phone to hang it up, she let it fall to the floor, not much caring about it in the moment.  Coming around behind him as she had been before, she laid out the first aid kit as she propped his head to the side against her bent knees.  “It’s gonna hurt, but I need you to stay as still as you can.  Okay?”  She asked as she pulled out an alcohol pad, a bottle of liquid bandage, and several butterfly bandages.  “Just bear with me…” she added, ripping the package opened with her teeth as she brought it to his head wound.

 John Letting his phone slide across the bathroom floor in a similar fashion, feeling her guiding him to where she wanted him. Though he was all dead weight, he wasn’t fighting her. Hearing her instructions and knowing them well. No stranger to this process. Hearing the package open as he closed his eyes. Feeling the sharp sting but not seeming to react. Not having the energy to do much more than he was.

 Spence After the space was cleaned, she could see what she was actually dealing with, relieved that her plan would work quite nicely.  “Alright.  That wasn’t so bad.”  She spoke calmly, uncapping the liquid bandage, which would prove to be another thing all in itself.  She made a line of the product between the opening of his flesh, taking a deep breath as this would be the part that would be most painful for him.  Pressing the two sides close together, she held her hands firmly, allowing the liquid to somewhat set.  The force of her hands strong, though they had to be in that moment to minimize the gap there.

 John That much he felt as he usually did. Years of crazy gluing wounds shut always came down to this similar feeling as she sealed the cut close. Feeling it was bigger than what he had expected but still not that bad for a man who had broken his femur in 3 places, after all. His hand balled to a fist, resting at her knee close to his own chin.

 Spence Amazed at his pain tolerance, she leaned down to blow cool breath against the drying liquid, aiding in its setting time.  After a moment, she reached over, pulling up a bandage.  The package opened, she placed it against his head, doing her best to do so gingerly.  Once it was in place, she removed her hands from his head, meeting that fist at her knee.  “Alright.  I guess you’ll live.”  She offered teasingly, though nothing about the condition of the man, nor the apartment, was a laughing matter.  Surveying through the opened bathroom door at the mess, she had to let out a heavy breath.  “You think you can stand if I help you?”  She asked, eyes searching for his.  She knew he needed to rest this off, but it wasn’t going to be happening there.  The bed was in shambles.  The other bedroom was an option.  Or she could try to get him somewhere else.  A hotel.  Something.  But she had to get him off the bathroom floor and out of the pool of blood that had transpired beneath where he had laid.

 John Unclenching his back teeth as she spoke, feeling the stinging subsiding as the bandage was applied. Only able to remember that that would be a complete and utter bitch to pull off but he wasn’t there yet. He leaned his head into her lap, hearing her asking her question about asking. He maybe could have laughed at her but didn’t have the energy. Still, the idea of her helping much of anything was laughable given their size difference. He grunted in response, slowly lifting his head as his hands found the floor. Palms pressed to the tile.

 Spence Without a firm answer, the grunt stood as something she could somewhat understand.  As he lifted from her lap, pressing his palms against the floor, she scrambled to stand beside him, slipping against the blood on the floor.  “Be careful…” she offered, finding the bottom of the cabinet to brace her bare foot against.  Both hands coming beneath his head.  She may not be able to lift the man from the floor, but should he fall, she could keep him from injuring his head any further.  Moving one hand beneath his back, she offered a push upward to guide him, perhaps a little stronger than she looked, yet still trying to let him do it himself with her there more as a spotter than anything.

 John Feeling her at his back as his hands pressed to the floor, bracing as his feet found the ground. In a push up position until he was pressing to his knees, reaching out for the edge of the tub as he lifted. One foot at a time. Feeling a bit more strength out of the woman than he had expected as he finally stood up. Hands finding the steel bolted shower rod. Finding his balance as the room momentarily spun and he closed his eyes.

 Spence Moving with him every step of the way, she stood behind him at the edge of the tub, hands still against his back.  “Not bad, not bad at all,” she encouraged as she turned to look over her shoulder at the mess on the floor.  Leaving in this condition just wasn’t an option.  His head wound had allowed for quite a stained mess against their clothes and flesh.  She could help him stand to some degree, but managing much more than that would pose difficult, but she was up for it.  Bringing her hands around in front of him, she paused at the button of his jeans.  “Think we can get you out of these clothes and either into fresh ones or into the tub?  It’s that or the guest room and right now… I’m thinking a change of scenery might be needed for the both of us.”  She bargained, putting out the two options within her mind, not sure which way he would go with it.

 John Hearing her question, he leaned his head into one of his forearms as he held onto the shower rod, feeling her hand to the button of his jeans. Finally opening his eyes to witness the slowed spinning as he took a moment to speak. “Whatever you want to do.” surrendering to her thought process and what she wanted. She seemed to be more together than he was in that moment as his hands tightened at the shower rod. Glancing down towards the floor, attempting to make sense of the block tiles stained with the red. There seemed to be a lot of blood going around today between them both.

 Spence With a deep breath at her lips, she pressed her forehead against his blood stained back.  She needed to think for just a moment, figuring it wouldn’t hurt him to have a moment of pause either.  “Alright…” she whispered, gathering her thoughts before unfastening his pants.  “Alright.  Fresh clothes.  I’ll clean up the floor enough for us to pass without soiling the new ones… Uhm… Face and hands, neck, wash cloth…” thinking out loud as she did at work when working a case, she’d find her plan through those quiet words.  Unfastening his jeans, she guided them down much unlike her normal manner of undressing the man.  Helping him to step free of them, trusting his grip on the shower rod.  “Just stay right there, okay?  If you feel dizzy, sit on the edge or on the toilet lid… but don’t try to walk yet.”  Her instructions given in a soft tone as she went to the pile of towels she had propped his feet with, using them against the floor to create a barrier between them and the slippery substance.  Into the bedroom, blood stained footprints leaving indication on the carpet of this night, she went to his dresser, returning with fresh clothes.  Holding them to her chest, she reached for a wash cloth, getting it damp to attempt to rid most of the blood from his flesh that would be seen.

 John Still standing with his fingers curled around the shower rod by the time she returned, not even able to move if he wanted to and he did want to. He was getting antsy, the concept of being taken care of was a difficult one for Johnny. He was used to doing the taking care of. His mother, his brother, his ex. People between. it was always him. Opening his eyes to watch her with a handful of his clothes. Hand finding his eyes. Getting brave in the grasp of just one hand to the shower rod for a small bit of support. Steadying himself to his feet.

 Spence Placing the clothes to the countertop, she brought the damp cloth to the back of his neck, speaking before she touched him.  “It’s warm, I promise.”  She assured as she lowered the cloth to his flesh, wiping against his skin gently, stepping over the edge of the tub to stand on the edge of it before him as she did the same with the cloth against his face at his hair line.  “I’m not going to try with your hair… so we’ll need a hat or something… but this will at least get us into a hotel without them calling the cops.”  She offered as she brought the cloth down over his face, one hand behind his neck for her own stability at the edge of the tub.  “One handing it, huh?  Think you’re getting all fancy on me now?”  She flashed him a half smile, trying to get both of their spirits up.  “Alright, that should do.  Hands.”

 John Hearing her mention a hat, there was certainly no shortage of those in his wardrobe as he felt her against his face. Washing the blood off of him somewhat effectively considering. Not quite sure why she was choosing to have them leave but letting her do as she wanted. Rubbing at his eye as he heard her question, snorting softly at her as she asked for his hands. Not sure how she was managing a sense of humor in that moment as his hand dropped. Standing stable on his own two feet and turning his palms towards her.

 Spence The cloth working at his palms, then the backs of his hands, she took a deep breath, still calming down from everything that had transpired herself, the emotional overload being just too much.  Once he was mostly clean, she took her hands to the lower edge of his shirt, easing it up and over his head, careful of that head wound.  He seemed steady enough, otherwise it would be the guest room, but she truly had no desire to look at the remnants of that which the two of them had managed to do that night.  “Alright…”  She whispered as she stepped down off the edge of the tub.  Retrieving his fresh pants and shirt.  “You think you can, or do you want me to?”  She asked, not wanting to push him too much, but also trying to gauge how steady he was becoming.

 John Hearing her question, his hands slipped down his face and over the facial hair at his chin and jawline. Meeting her eyes, a moment of thought before he reached for the jeans she had pulled for him. Thinking to himself that this was her first and only opportunity to have him in something presentable and she had opted for his norm. An amusing thought for another time as he used the shower rod once again for any assistance, pulling the jeans on that he buttoned in front of him. Needing to do it for his own state of mind at least. “What are we going to do with Scrappy? Leave him here?” he finally asked lowly.

 Spence Watching for a moment as John began dressing, she started to take off her own blood stained clothes, leaving her pants and tank in a pile on the floor with everything else that would need to be tossed.  “No, we’ll bring him with us.  No one belongs here right now.”  She stated with a convincing nod of her head.  Truth be told, she had long forgotten the dog was even in the apartment during all of the commotion between the two of them, surely off hiding somewhere.  Lifting the cloth and dampening it again, she tended to her own flesh, abdomen, chest, thighs, feet, hands, anywhere the crimson substance had stained, her own wound slightly open, yet ignoring it completely at this point.  “I’ll call ahead, be sure we get a room that takes pets.  Stay a few days’ time.  Call it a mini-vacation.  Let you get some rest and I’ll get this place… taken care of.”  She stated, implying it wouldn’t be her taking care of it.

 John Hearing that they would bring Scrappy, he gave her a slow nod. No time for disagreement. He was giving her control. Entirely. Something he wasn’t sure she quite wanted but there it was as he watched her against her own cut. Examining his own hands which were still shaking. He’d offer to help but he wasn’t sure he could plant a band aid on her right now with a sniper laser scope and a held breath. “You should put something on that…” he remarked, voice still nearly in the back of his throat before she mentioned getting it ‘taken care of.’ It wasn’t past him being able to clean. Not the clothes or the blood stains. Truthfully, it was of his doing.

 Spence “I’m fine.”  She quickly responded, caring little about her own minor wound that was fully self-inflicted and a lot more about his.  Stepping into the bedroom, she surveyed the mounds of clothing strewn about, grabbing for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, slipping into them within the bedroom.  “I’m gonna grab a few things and we can find the dog… if he’ll come out from where he’s hiding… and then we can go.  If you think you can walk to the car?”  She asked, glancing over her shoulder as she worked the fasten of her own jeans.  “What do you need if we aren’t to be back here for say… three days?”

 John Hearing her question, his mind working a little slower than before. His hand again to his face. Everything still feeling a bit off to him in that moment, as if he was trying to warm it back up. “My wallet, my gun, my knife, my dog, my wife…” he hummed, fingers rubbing into his now throbbing temples. Hand slipping from the shower rod once more as he took a slow step towards the door frame, hand finding it. Stabilizing himself before he was pushing into the room. Maybe a little faster than she would have it but getting there.

 Spence The sequence of items he needed came as no surprise until he threw in the word ‘wife’.  It wasn’t often she heard that one from his lips.  She had to flash a smile, though she had turned her back to begin collecting items.  With a handful, she went to the sofa in the living room, forming a small pile of his and her clothing, his requested items, along with a matching set of her own, minus the knife and the dog.  Once she was mostly ready, she looked over at him standing in the doorway, holding to the frame.  “John, wait.”  She requested, going and grabbing a bag from the spare bedroom, returning and cramming the items within, leaving the wallets and guns free.  Still needing to find the dog, hoping the dog would eventually find them.  Hoisting the bag over her shoulder, she grabbed her chained badge, putting it around her neck, just in case there were any questions asked, her gun at her hip in its rightful place.  Grabbing Scrappy’s leash, she went back for John.  “You aren’t going to let me help you… are you?”  She asked, not wanting to push him, but offering the assistance if he so wanted it from her, though one more uneasy step and he’d not have a choice in the matter.

 John Hearing her question as she returned, he shrugged as he pushed up. Standing a bit straighter as he watched her. “There’s only so much you can do right now.” he reminded her, she couldn’t carry him. He had to walk. Though his body felt like he’d crumble in on himself, he knew the best way to combat that was to just move. Reaching out for Scrappy’s leash, he pulled from the bedroom and down the wall. Using his hand to stabilize himself as he whistled for the dog. Not seeing him anywhere but knowing his hiding spot all too well.

 Spence “John…” she sighed, coming over to him after relinquishing the leash to his control.  Slipping underneath of his arm, wrapping her own arm around his waist.  “You do know I take men down your size for a living, right?”  She reminded him, though it was different, it didn’t matter.  She wasn’t going to let him deal with this on his own, as it was all her fault.  That and the fact that she couldn’t bear to see him in pain.  “Let’s just get you to the car… I’ll come back for him.”  She offered, looking up at him, realizing for the first time just how deeply she actually loved the man.  She knew she loved him, but she didn’t exactly know how much until the dust settled there.

 John “I realize but the job is not to take me down, it’s to keep me up. You got gravity on your side when you are doin’ that.” he reminded her, hearing her statement. Stubbornly shaking his head. “I’m not leaving him.”  That dog was like his child, he hated knowing that he was afraid somewhere in the apartment and even more the idea of leaving him. Walking to the edge of the couch, managing the strength to nudge it from the wall where he glanced down. Spotting the poor little guy in a ball, wedged between the wall and the couch. Whining, scared. Leaning in, his hand hooking his tiny abdomen as he pulled him to himself. Granted, he was getting a little bigger everyday but was still easy to gather up. Feeling him shake within his arms.

 Spence Spence hadn’t meant to leave him entirely, just to get John to the car and then she’d come back, but she had to let John do what John wanted to do in that moment and his love for that dog was plain as day.  She held his arm as he reached down for the dog, still not ready to let him go on his own as if he went down, she didn’t know that she could get him back up again.  “Okay…” she whispered once John was standing again, the dog tucked under his arm.  Reaching over herself, she grabbed for his gun and wallet that she had left on the sofa, then for the keys.  She’d tend to the sweet dog as well once they were in the car, but right now, she just wanted to put this place, and everything that had transpired, behind them.  Kicking the trash bag out from in front of the door, she pulled the door open.  “Is he okay?” She asked, leading John and Scrappy out of the apartment to the hall, locking the door behind them.

 John Grabbing a hat from the couch on the way out as he carried the dog out to the hallway, hearing her question. He nodded. “Just little shaky.” he explained, holding the dog to his chest as he pressed his lips over one of his ears. Feeling intensely bad for stirring the dog the way he had as he waited for the go ahead from his wife who was taking this role of being in control seriously. Very seriously.

 Spence Spencer was in work mode, there was nothing more to it.  She knew how to do what had to be done when it had to be done.  Determined.  Once a plan was laid out, she could follow through with it.  Truthfully, she hated control, but it was engrained in her professionally.  “Alright.  He’ll be okay.  Maybe he needs to get out of there too.”  She offered, slightly pulling out from under his arm, staying close.  Taking his hand, she placed it to her shoulder, her hand over top of it as she stepped down the steps before him, intentionally so that if he should fall, it would be on her, not on the unforgiving stairs.  

 John Eying her as she stepped in front of him, head tilting. Knowing what she was after. Ironically, she was giving him more drive to keep himself upright just given the option of walking on his own or relying on her. Hand finding the railing as he negotiated each step. Scrappy in his other arm to his chest, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze as they arrive to the bottom of the steps.

 Spence With the success at the staircase, she wouldn’t slip beneath his arm again.  It had been for him, but it had also been a bit of a test as well with the added incentive of not wanting to fall on her in the process.  A bit sneaky, but that she was.  Once they were at the bottom and she felt that squeeze at her shoulder, she glanced back with a smile, allowing him the space to go to the car on his own, should he wish.  Unlocking from the remote, she made her way to the back seat to put their bag in the trunk.  “You’re good?”  She asked, not meaning to badger him, making a promise to herself to try to refrain from asking again, at least for a little while.

 John “Never better.” an abrupt joke disguised as a lie she’d be able to recognize as she opened the door with the remote. Arriving to the passenger side, opening the unlocked door as she let him out on his own. Shifting Scrappy up his shoulder as he readied himself for the duck under the car. Arguably the most difficult thing here as he ducked his head under. Shifting to his side but managing to smack his shin against the bottom of the car. Warranting a grunt from him as he forced that leg into the car. “Fuck me.” he groaned to himself as he sat back. Closing his eyes before reaching out to close the door.

 Spence Spence was just at the driver’s side door as she heard the grunt and expression from John’s lips.  “I know you say you’ve never been better, but a fuck?  Might be a stretch.”  She teased back, getting into the car and starting the engine.  Pulling her phone from her jeans pocket, she handed it over to him.  “Think you can manage getting us a room that allows dogs, somewhere nice.  Not like Ritz-Carlton nice, but just… nice.”  She suggested as she put the car in drive, heading out of the neighborhood.  Looking over at the dog, she brought her hand against his head, softly brushing against his fur.  “Sorry, buddy.”  She offered, hating her part in all that had happened, but glad they were walking out of there as a family.

 John “I can try…” he stated as she handed him the phone, though the two had probably very different ideas of nice but not too nice. His idea of decent just might have been no cockroaches but water stains. They came from different walks of life but…he could at least try as he took her phone. Rubbing at his eyes to make sense of what he was doing as she took to Scrappy. Still shaking in John’s lap as his free arm circled him for a sense of security.

 Spence “You’ll do great,” she assured, offering up a true smile as she navigated the streets towards an area that she felt might have something to offer.  Her hand stayed at Scrappy, every move against him slow and careful, feeling the little guy tremble in John’s lap.  Finally thinking that maybe he just needed John, she withdrew her hand, reaching into the center console to reveal a pack of cigarettes, lighting it and taking a drag before offering it to John to share the smoke as the customarily did, waiting for final directions once he found a place.

 John Taking the cigarette she offered gratefully, holding it to his lips for a few moments. A greedy drag before he was handing it back. Focusing on the task at hand as he found a place. Reviews looked good, wouldn’t have to sell a kidney. No water stains or blood marks, pet friendly. It would have to work as he clicked for the directions to be loaded. A moment later, the voice of the GPS giving her the go ahead for the few turns to the place. Handing her back the cigarette in the process.

 Spence As John took his drag, she lowered her window a bit, preparing for the ash that would return to her hand.  Resting the phone at her thigh, she didn’t bother to check where John had selected for them.  Trusting him with the task completely.  As the cigarette returned to her hand, she took a long drag from it before bringing it to the slightly opened window.  Following the directions as she stole an extra drag before passing it back to him.  “How’s the head feel?”  She asked, glancing over towards him as the GPS talked her through the route.

 John “Like I smacked it into a wall.” he confessed groggily, as he had. Closing his eyes as he leaned his head back. The tension between the two still somewhat hidden but knowing they’d have to talk about /it/ soon. The exchange of words, of sentiments. He had thought he’d been alright having hidden it well enough or at least not directly said it the last time they had been intimate. There was he was thinking that would be the hardest spot to not say anything. Boy, he had he been wrong.

 Spence “Well… you kinda did.”  She commented honestly, resting her hand at his thigh, allowing him the rest of that cigarette.  A light squeeze of her hand, taking a deep breath as she tried to release the guilt of it all.  Making the last two turns to the tune of the GPS navigation, she parked the car only a few minutes from their original location, yet far enough behind to at least attempt to forget about the mess.  “I’ll get us checked in and then I’ll come back to help with Scrappy and the bag…”  She stated as she opened the driver’s side door, then paused to lean over and press a kiss to his cheek.  “I’ll be back.”

 John Finishing that cigarette as she didn’t seem too worried about it, opening his eyes as they pulled into the spot. Hearing her remind him that this had been the case. He nodded. Feeling her at his cheek as he flicked the cigarette out of the window. Watching her as he reached down to pet Scrappy who was finally settling into his lap in somewhat comfort. Ready for a nap both of them were.

 Spence A few minutes passed and Spencer was back at the car, hotel room key in her hand.  “We’re all set.”  She stated as she pulled open his door.  “I’ll take him and the bag.  You just get you.” Rounding the back of the car, she took the bag from the trunk, locking the car from the remote as she returned to John’s side of the car to help with the dog, if he would let her do so.  “I need a shower, a beer, and the bed.”  She stated honestly, knowing their wash cloth job had been enough, but not necessarily enough to get into stark white hotel sheets.

 John “You can’t expect me to walk into a place lettin’ you hold both the bag and the dog…” he reminded her, it just didn’t look right. He should have had the bag and the dog. Letting her hold him as he pulled himself from the car considering it had not gone so well last time. Hearing her statement, he nodded slowly. Pulling his feet from the bottom of the car as he closed the door behind him. Reaching for Scrappy again.

 Spence She had to smile as he told her how it was.  John was coming back and would be back in control in no time and she could go back to what she liked best.  Her time up to the plate coming to an end.  She held the dog for the moment as John got out of the car, resisting the urge to reach to help him.  Handing him back the pup, she nodded her head.  “You’re right.”  She offered, tucking the car keys into the bag as she waited for him to lead the way into the hotel, staying a step behind, just for her own peace of mind.  “Second floor.  209.”  She stated, giving him as much direction as she had so that he could lead on.

 John “How ‘bout that.” he remarked bluntly as she mentioned that he was right, glancing back towards her as she fell back. Wanting him to lead. Catching on soon enough as she gave him the location, sighing slightly. Of course it was the second floor. Entering the hotel, he held open the door for her to slip within. Hand keeping at it from above her head. Letting it fall behind her as he located the elevator to the side of the small lobby.

 Spence “How /about/ that.”  She repeated, a smirk firmly to her lips as John held the door for her.  She had to smile at that one, stepping within and towards the elevator, now positioning herself more beside him, confident in him now.  Her hand slipping into his, now out of closeness and habit more than for stability.  She pressed the elevator call button, turning to look up towards him with a softer, more genuine, smile.  “You wanna hear it again?  I’ll let you have it just one more time today.  So choose wisely when you want to hear it again.”  She teased as the doors finally opened.

 John “Oh, will you?” he asked as she told him like it was, knowing he could hear it as many times as he wanted to through her if he really wanted to and she knew it. Watching the doors open as he reached out, free arm barring the door as he allowed her in first. Slipping in a moment later. Managing to remember floor 2 as he hit the appropriate button. Leaning back against the railing. Still happy to get any minute of relief he could as he glanced down towards Scrappy inspecting his surroundings.

 Spence Stepping within the elevator, it was with a nod of her own head, a smirk to her lips.  She watched as he pressed the button for the appropriate floor, taking her place at the railing beside him.  “Yup.  Just one more.  So you might want to keep it in your pocket or something.”  She suggested, slipping her badge from around her neck, figuring they were in the clear now, tucking it into the bag at her shoulder.  As the elevator stopped, she slipped the key into his hand, allowing him all of the control now that she was more confident in him every step of the way.  She was impressed with his resilience.  “Could save it for tomorrow even.”  She offered, stepping out of the elevator, tapping her leg for Scrappy to follow along.

 John Letting him on the ground once they stepped out of the elevator, handing her his leash as he seemed more content in what she was doing. Taking that moment to reach for the bag. Going back to the way things should have been. To say the man was resilient was an understatement. He was bull-headed and could power his way through most things despite how physical. He was back on his bike after weeks of the accident that had him getting bone shards shaved down within his leg and knee. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel pain, he was merely used to it as they found the right door. Reaching down with the key in hand to unlock it.

 Spence Feeling the leash within her hand, she already had the bag slipping from her shoulder, knowing how this was going to go.  He was right.  This felt natural.  She watched as he unlocked the door to the room, taking the opportunity to squat down before Scrappy, his face in both of her hands.  “What do you think?  A vacation with daddy?  Yeah.  A new place to sniff out and hide.  We can tell daddy your new name is Axel…”  She offered, cutting her eyes up at John, revisiting an old problem.  “No?  Okay… it’s not.  Scrappy it is.”  She smirked up to John as she rose back to her full height.

 John “Be happy his name ain’t what Judas’ dog is named…Spanky.” he stated honestly, though the French bulldog pulled off the name way better than Scrappy could have ever considering he’d be huge and way less compact one day. Opening the door, he held it open. The room plenty big for them without being of suite capacity. “You just haven’t seen enough ‘Scooby Doo’ in your day to understand.”

 Spence “Yeah… you James’ sure know how to pick names…” She teased as she slipped through the held door, bending down just beyond to unhook the leash and let the pup go free.  She started to reach for the bag, instead leaving John to it as she made her way to the desk in the corner of the room, placing her gun against the surface to add her badge to momentarily.  “It’s okay.  I’ll survive.”  She assured as she pulled off her shoes almost immediately.  “Shower, beer, bed.”  She repeated to him, arching her brow as if to invite him to do the same.

 John Slipping the bag onto the bed, closing the door behind them as his hand found the threshold of the hall. Taking a little relief as she was already off on something else. Light eyes meeting here and wondering if that was an invitation or a demand. Eyes glancing over towards Scrappy who was busy sniffing around the room.

 Spence His questioning eyes spoke volumes as she reached her hand out towards him.  “Would you like to join me for a shower, then a beer, and then bed?”  Her intentions stated plainly now as she held out her hand for him to either take or pass on.  Either way, the shower was calling her name.  She took slow steps backwards towards the bathroom door, hand remaining outstretched for him to steal if and when he wanted to.

 John “Do I want to? No. Do I get to feeling like I have to?” Eyes drifted to the white bedding, knowing she had done a good job of cleaning him up but not that good. He reached out for her hand. Taking the hint soon enough as they slipped into the bathroom. Eyes finding the tiny bars of hotel soap already. Hand reaching up to pull off his hat. Feeling the blood clotted over the back of his hair, contrasting the color directly.

 Spence “You don’t have to…” she corrected.  She could make the sheets disappear and could more than foot the bill for them after the take that day, but she did think it would be in both of their best interest.  “It’ll feel good.”  She assured, nodding her head as they entered the bathroom, her hand still holding his.  Once within the bathroom, she released his hand to start the water in the shower, turning to look back at him, the stained hair on his head proof of all that had happened.  As the water warmed to temp, she did not reach to assist him, knowing he needed to do it all for himself, instead working at the button on her own pants.

 John Watching her let him at his own independence. He started with the easiest task. His jeans, unbuttoning them. He let them fall before reaching for his shirt. Carefully hooking it from his head away from the bandage. Wondering if this would stand the rest of the water but ready to find out.

 Spence Undressing in unison with him, she stepped close to him, leaning past him to reach to the plastic cup at the countertop.  Holding it up with a smile at her lips.  “You do realize this means I get liberties here.”  She reminded him, using that last bit of control that she’d maintain, tiling the cup back and forth in front of him.  “Ready?”  She asked, her hand reaching for his again, threading her fingers through his this time, clearly enjoying this bit a bit too much.

 John “Liberties, huh?” The man asked, only able to wonder what those entailed as he watched her. Feeling her fingers through his as he gave her a nod. “I’m ready.” He confirmed, a step towards the shower. Letting her at it first.

 Spence Stepping within the shower at the far end, where the water wouldn’t directly hit the top of his head.  Her hand tugging him willingly with her.  “Yes.  Liberties.”  She confirmed, giving up the space for him to join her in the garden style tub.  The water hitting her back, she looked up at him, bringing the cup behind her back with her free hand, filling it with water.  “The water can’t hit your head, so that’s what I’m here for.”  She offered up a smile, nodding her head before realizing what that sounded like.  “Not to hit your head.  To get you wet.”

 John Hearing her mention hitting him, his brows drawing before she could tell him anything else. “Jesus christ, you already want to beat me.” He remarked dryly as he watched her with her handy dandy cup. Seeming to have this all figured up as he glanced over to the far shower wall idly and then back to her. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what you meant…”

 Spence “Last I checked…” She paused with that, letting that thought dissipate from her mind as it was anything but appropriate and would have her wanting something that was simply not an option for the man at this time.  Possibly standing as the first night of their married life they would have to forgo those marital perks he once mentioned.  The thought alone had her smile fading.  Turning swiftly to disguise this, she watched the cup as it filled to the brim.  Turning back to him, she reached up, gently pouring the water over his head, not allowing the stream to hit directly to his wound.

 John Waiting for her to finish that thought, his brows lifted. Still not hearing or getting it, her smile quickly vanishing. Saying nothing as he leaned his head forward, feeling the cool of the water pass over his head as he glanced down towards her. Attentive light eyes sweeping over her. “Last you checked…” he prompted as his arms crossed over his stomach.

 Spence “I can’t tell you,” she whispered, doing all in her power to keep this situation to what it was.  Getting the both of them cleaned up.  Putting the last of the immediate mess behind them so that perhaps they could find a way to relax together and get through everything that had happened that night.  “I’ll tell you… tomorrow, or the next day, when you’re back in tip top shape again.”  She offered, filling the cup again, repeating the process to get his hair wet enough for her to attempt some soap to clean it without getting too close to his wound.

 John “What do you mean you can’t tell me?” he asked, a little amazed by that suggestion as he closed his eyes, gravity pulling the water to the front of his head as his hands found the back of his neck. Working some of the blood up and around the bandage to unclot his hair from around the bandaging. Fingers passing down the back of his neck. Unknowingly cleaning some of the residual trails from his light skin.

 Spence “I mean…” she began, though paused.  She wondered if it was possible to say it without pushing limitations that were already present in her mind with the state of the two of them.  Resisting was not a strong point for either of them when it came to the other, yet Spencer felt in this situation, she must.  “Okay, what I was going to say…” With the cup behind her back again, getting the last cup full that she thought it would take to be ready to attempt some soap, if he would allow it.  “I said my goal was to get you wet.  You said you were sure that I meant that, and not hitting you.  I was going to say, last I checked, you never minded me getting you wet or you getting me wet for that matter…”

 John “Ah…” he hummed, immediately feeling a bit stupid for making her tell him when he thought it had been something serious and not a mere jest. “Got ya.” the man returned as he let his hand slip over the top of his head, straightening his neck and meeting her eyes. Pressing his forehead slowly to hers.

 Spence As he leaned to her, pressing his forehead against hers, she took in a slow breath, close proximity not boding well for what she was attempting to accomplish there.  With the cup still behind her back, now overflowing against her back, she let her eyes fall closed.  A whisper of his name at her lips, one he would easily recognize.  “We have to get you clean…” she reminded reluctantly, a slight bite at her lower lip as she attempted to keep her mind on the task at hand.

 John “How the fuck you even find me remotely attractive right now fuckin’ amazes me.” the man confessed, hearing her reminder. He nodded. Willing to try to behave if it meant that much to her. It clearly seemed to as he pressed his lips to her forehead. Letting his lips momentarily linger there before he was straightening up for the soap down process.

 Spence “Because.  We fight, we fuck.  This is the first time a fight has resulted in the inability to fuck.  You’re naked in front of me, wet.  I’m naked, in front of you, also wet…” She attempted to explain how she was attracted to him at the moment without saying what she really wanted to say in the moment.  “Your wife thinks you’re hot.  Deal with it.”  She stated with a bit of a playful grin, bringing the cup over his head for the last time, easing the liquid from within once more.  Placing the cup on the edge of the oversized tub, she reached for the miniature shampoo bottle.  Dispensing a quarter sized amount into her small hand, realizing she couldn’t properly do this without being able to truly see what she was dealing with.  “You’ll have to kneel…”

 John “Yeah, and I’m covered in dried blood and I’ve been sweating profusely and…” explaining that he still didn’t understand this turn of events, rolling his eyes with a familiar grunt at the mention of him being hot. Watching her reach for the shampoo before hearing her terms. Having to smirk subtly as they both know him kneeling would put him in a very compromising position. “You sure?”

 Spence She saw two ways of this working.  Either her standing on the edge of the tub or him kneeling before her, knowing her standing on the edge with wet feet wasn’t the best of plans as neither of them needed any further injury tonight.  She took a deep breath as he pointed out to her what she failed to realize at first.  She slowly nodded her head, that bite evident and proof of her uncertainty.  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

 John “Alright.” his arms pulled from his lower stomach, glancing down. Attempting to figure out the best way to do this as he lowered himself to one knee in front of her and then the other. Finding himself on both knees as he glanced up towards her for the go-ahead, dipping his head back down as he looked at the bottom of the tub.

 Spence She was pretty sure she’d ever seen the man on his knees before her, causing her to take a deep breath, glancing up to the ceiling to refocus herself again.  “Fuck…” she whispered, barely audible as she lowered her head to take in the sight again.  The bite at her lip only growing stronger, surely to break skin if she was to keep this up.  She brought her hands together to form a lather before she was moving in closer to him, fingertips gently working through his hair against his scalp.  “This is okay?”  She asked, attempting to not hurt him, yet knowing this position was anything /but/ okay for her.

 John Hearing her statement, it wasn’t funny but it was. Struggling not to laugh. His eyes still to the bottom of the tub as he felt her hands at his head and his scalp, hearing her question. Humming his approval. “Yeah.” he confessed as he exhaled a slow breath. Attempting not to laugh but feeling it in his chest as he gave up a soft snort.

 Spence Picking up on that snort, she wasn’t sure what he was finding so comical.  She finished lathering the back of his hair, needing to get the front, yet it would require another shift she just wasn’t sure if she could handle.  “Alright… lift your head… up.”  Her words were paused between, her difficulty evident at her lips as she removed her hands, waiting for that readjustment, though hoping maybe he’d refuse all at the same time.

 John Hearing her statement, his head slowly lifted. Glancing up towards her as his brows rose to meet her eyes. Knowing she was ready to work at his hairline though it would be interesting to see her pull this one off. Still subtly smirking as his eyes shifted over hers.

 Spence As her eyes met his, she released that bite of her lower lip, making way for a deep breath.  He looked as if he was enjoying this far too much, doubting her ability to continue through.  For only a moment did she consider leaning down, pressing her lips to his, but her will was stronger than that and she resolved to stand before him, lowering her hands to his hairline, eyes set on his as she felt more and more drawn to him by the second.

 John Watching her, impressed by her will power as his eyes slowly slipped down towards the far shower wall. Not messing with her any further as she worked over his hairline and he slowly closed his eyes to keep any wayward strands of the shampoo to make his life anymore miserable.

 Spence Her will to continue was limited, but she was fighting it something fierce.  Once she was satisfied with the state of his hair, she reached past him for the cup again, closing her eyes as she did so, having brought herself far too close to him in that moment.  “Sorry,” she offered as she stood back upright, bringing the cup behind her back again to fill it with water.  A sigh at her lips as she brought the cup back around, shielding his eyes with her free hand, rinsing away the soap, as well as her determination.  Dropping the cup to the tub floor, she brought both hands to his face, drawing her lips to his, pressing her lips against him feverishly, evident of all she had been holding back.

 John Feeling her rinsing the soap away, his eyes only opening as she dropped the cup. Hearing it. Just as he opened his eyes, she was already in front of him. Lips pressing to his, humming into her kiss as his hands found the sides of her neck. Feeling the feverish tone of her lips imploring his as he returned each kiss against her mouth.

 Spence An inner war within her body, fighting to stay at his lips and to pull away all at the same time.  Her frustration was apparent in the hum at her own lips, her head tilting slightly further, deepening the kiss in a manner she knew not to.  He was going to have to stop her, as she had lost her battle of willpower against herself, giving in to the man before her on his knees.  One hand slipping carefully behind his neck, the slightest bit of pressure beneath small fingertips.

 John Tasting her hum to his lips as she tilted her head, intensifying the kiss. If she was looking for him to be good cop here, she was looking in all the wrong places as his hand slipped down the side of her neck. Over one of her shoulders before it was down her back. Feeling the moisture against the warmth of her skin as his other hand remained to her neck.

 Spence The feeling of his hand venturing the landscape of her flesh, the temptation to kneel before him strong, yet the current position still afforded the opportunity to break this kiss and return to that which she had initially set out to do.  The draw was too strong though and she could not bring herself to break from him.  His hand at her back had her stepping a bit closer, yet any closer and she’d lose the ability there at his lips.  The day had worn on the both of them, bringing out a desire for closeness as it always did.  Breaking the kiss in a show of strength, it only lasted but a moment before she was there at his lips again, this time giving up on returning to the task at hand, beginning to lower herself before him.

 John Feeling her break the kiss, eyes meeting her briefly before she was back to his. Feeling her lowering to his level and making the process a whole lot easier as his arm slowly slipped around her midsection as it became available to him. Not sure whether she wanted to follow through or if they even could but he wasn’t giving it any more thought than he absolutely had to. He just wanted to be close to her.

 Spence Using her hold against him and the grasp at her own waist, she lowered before him, on her own bent knee.  The new angle allowing her to wrap both arms around his neck, drawing her body completely against his, finding the closeness she desired.  Her kiss remained firm at his lips, each one intensifying, though she was building with each pass, a momentum that would make difficult to stop.  “I’m sorry for today,” she offered in the momentary hiatus from his lips before she was right back at his lips, unable to stay broken from him for long.  

 John Pulling her closer into him even when it did not seem humanly possible as her lips left his, nodding by the time her lips returned to his. He didn’t even want to think about it. He didn’t want to try to understand right now. The sight of her doing that to herself had brought him to something a little too dark within himself than he could access and stay entirely sane. He wasn’t sure whether he should have apologized for his own actions, part of him felt they were expected. The other part remembering he didn’t have much of a say in it as the emotions had taken over.

 Spence Almost missing the nod of his head entirely, her arms tightening around his neck, aiding the strength in that kiss until she drew back, deep breaths at her lips.  Lowering her head, her forehead resting against his shoulder, she drew in long breaths as she attempted to bring herself back to a reality in which did not include the ability to be so close to him.  She couldn’t stop herself if she was to continue.  Stopping this much was nearly impossible.  She felt remorse, as if her actions there had been selfish, not thinking about what was best for him, yet she could feel the draw back to his lips again.  “Tell me that we can’t.”  She requested, needing to hear a firm decision that they couldn’t so that she could carry on with what she was supposed to be doing, for if even the slightest bit of him thought they could, she was done for.

 John Feeling her draw at his lips and speaking, her head at his shoulder as he leaned in. Idly kissing the top of her head as she spoke about him telling her what could or could not be done here. His fingers tracing up the outline of her bare skin. “Why the fuck would I tell you that?” he asked honestly, as you’d never hear that statement out of his mouth at this point. It merely wasn’t in his language. “You do realize, one day, when I’m on my deathbed…Imma’ still want to fuck you on it, right?” he asked, granted, he wasn’t exactly at the top of his game in the moment but with a little help from his partner, he was sure they could manage just fine.

 Spence His words had her grinning against his shoulder.  His sentiment was hers, stolen from her thoughts, as she wanted nothing more than that man.  She didn’t want to hurt him, yet she wanted him, badly.  “I’d totally fuck you on your death bed.”  She agreed, a thought she hoped was at least fifty years away, though even then she’d be asking for one more day.  The highs and lows were part of them, they couldn’t escape it.  Two people with as much passion as they held were bound to have their issues along the way, but the highs always made up for those lows.  Lifting her head from his shoulder, her eyes meeting his with a smile in place against her lips.  “How?”  She asked, a common question from her lips, as this would be no different.  Her reign of control was over and now, more than ever, he had to tell her what he could handle.

 John Hearing her confirm before she was asking how they could pull it off. Admittedly, he wasn’t as athletic as he normally felt so it would be no marathons for the man. “Welp, you are gonna’ do all the work. It’s just a matter of where.” he admitted, already feeling the lustful pull with just the idea of it as his hand rested against her hip. Lips finding the side of her neck.

 Spence Nodding her head, she was up for pulling the weight, as long as there was no risk of injury to his head in the process.  Her eyes darted to his, a softer look in her eyes as her features reflected a seriousness there behind her hues.  “Then we don’t fuck.”  She stated plainly, pausing a moment as she simply focused in on his light hues.  Dampening her lips, she released them, bringing a hand to rest at the side of his face, thumb brushing against his flesh.

 John Lifting his head as he felt her against the side of his face, meeting her eyes. Momentarily confused before he thought he was catching on. They’d do things differently now. He nodded his head. They weren’t even drinking, it was impressive considering that was usually an essential to their behavior with one another. “Whatever you wanna’ do.”

 Spence A nod of her head, she pressed her lips to his in a much softer manner than she had gone at him previously, holding that kiss for only a fleeting moment before she was rising to her feet, reaching down for the cup she dropped.  Her mind was set on a different pace entirely, to which she felt this shower could actually aide.  She filled the cup, using it to rinse his hair again, her hand at his face still, a gentle stroke of her fingertips as his hair was finally soap free.  She placed the cup down on the ledge, reaching for his hand to help him to stand so that she could wash the rest of his body, no further words coming forth from her lips, allowing her actions to speak for themselves.

 John Watching her stand to finish him up, he stood as she willed it. Feeling her guiding him up where he stood after a moment. Feeling her beginning the washing process, playfully handing his hands at the side of his head. “Feel like I’m gettin’ searched at the airport.” he teased dryly as he acted the part.

 Spence “Hmm… okay.  Well…” she thought out loud as she reached for the soap bar, lathering it within her hands before she was offering it to him, attempting to set a tone here.  “Maybe this’ll help.”  She offered, relinquishing the bar to him, should he wish to do the same for her.  The pink tinted water flowing past their feet as they erased all that they could from the night’s events.

 John Feeling her offering him the soap, he took it. Warming it between his hands for a thick lather as his hands found her sides. Passing up her hips. Careful over the spot of her most recent affliction as his hands passed down her stomach. Eyes meeting hers as he did so.

 Spence Her own hands venturing to his chest, her eyes following the movement of her hands against his flesh as she kept her touch tender, her expression soft.  As she reached his shoulders, her hands smoothing over the curve of his build, her eyes drifted up to find his there looking down at her, forcing her to give up a soft smile.  The gentlest bite of her lip as she brought her hands down the curve of his shoulder to find the length of his arms, sparing no flesh from the soap dispensed by her small hands.

 John Feeling her over his shoulders and arms, his fingers working down to her hips and the sides of her thighs before he was back up. Following her sides before his arms pulled over her forearms and up to her shoulders. Meeting her eyes as she bit at her lip, doing the same to his own just to give her a taste of her own medicine.

 Spence The bite of his own lip had a longing look instantly displayed through her eyes as a formerly gentle bite at her own lip grew to something more intense.  Bringing her hands back up the underside of his arms, she followed the path of his flesh to his torso, deciding to play just as dirty as he was.  Her hand at his thigh, gliding across the skin to his inner thigh, drawing upward until she had found his piece within a soapy hand.  Never letting her eyes fall from his, though a slight smirk could be found behind her own bitten lip.

 John Feeling her wandering over him, sucking in a quick breath as she located his anatomy that nearly twitched in response. Hissing softly. “You really want to play this?” He asked coyly, as they both knew he could inflict some damage.

 Spence The smirk at her lips broadened, releasing her captured lip in the process.  Soft movements at his hardening cock went without ceasing as she drug her thumb over the tip in each tender gesture.  “It’s my job to make sure every inch of you is clean…”  She spoke in that raspy tone of hers, paired with a shrug of her shoulders.  “Can’t have you dirty in white sheets…” She reminded, as if she were innocent of all charges.

 John “With you around, I’m always going to be dirty in any sheets.” He reminded her, playing her own game as his hands swept down her back. Gripping her ass, hearing the tone of her voice that had his tongue trailing over his bottom lip. Finding her absolutely appetizing in that moment.

 Spence The grip at her ass had her staggering forward that step to press into him, her upper lip lifting in a smile that showed he had caught her off guard with that maneuver, having anticipated a much different retribution, though this one was far safer for her at least.  Relentlessly stroking him, she offered another shrug of her shoulders, playing it off super casual as she brought her other hand to his hip, slipping down to his ass, taking a handful for herself.  “Am I supposed to take pity on you for the fact that your wife likes you best horizontal?”  She asked, lifted brows suggesting she showed no pity for him.  Using her hand against his ass, she released her grip, exchanging it for a motion that would disperse soap against his flesh, having a feeling neither of them were going to actually make it out of this shower, despite their best efforts.

 John “Maybe I like my wife best horizontal myself.” He teased as his hand tightened at her ass as he felt her at his own and to his piece. Growling softly at her as his teeth found the side of her neck. Rapidly hardening as she stroked him.

 Spence Taking a slight step back, her hand finding his hip at the new distance, her reach not enough to withstand as she dipped down.  “No teeth.  No lips.”  She smirked, looking up to him, having a feeling she could far outlast him on this one.  “We’re not making out, John.  We’re… getting clean.  Remember?”  She reminded him, that devious smirk in place the entire time.  Finally releasing his piece, she dipped down before him, eyes cut up towards him the entire time as she let her hands trail up and down his thighs and calves, cleaning each inch of him while he was stuck with just the view, intentionally torturing the man, though anticipating his show of control that always came forth at some point.

 John “Right. Because this is innocent huh?” He asked as he met her eyes, feeling her at his thighs. His hands gripping back at her ass as he drew her back to him. Knowing she wouldn’t deny him that much as he forced her into his chest.

 Spence Her ploy to sneak away denied, feeling him bring her right back where he wanted her to be.  Her chest to his, her chin lifted to take in his eyes, she gasped at the sudden movement.  “Thought you weren’t up to par…” she reminded him, secretly thrilled that he was a little more on his game than maybe either of them gave him credit for minutes earlier.  Her only defense being the soapy hands, she brought her hands to either side of his face, smearing soap against his face, coming dangerously close to his lips.  “Gotta have a clean face.”  She explained, a laugh at her lips, potentially the first true laugh of the day for her.

 John “I’m not.” He remarked, retaining his ability to surprise her as his fingers clutched under her ass. Feeling her soapy hands to his face a moment later, catching her laugh. She looked a little cute for him to yell at in that moment. “You going to deep condition my goatee while you are at it?”

 Spence His question brought a hard bite to her lower lip as her mind was straight in the gutter at this point in time.  “Depends.”  She began, her laugh giving way to a sultry cut of her eyes with a tiny lift of her chin.  Cutting her eyes down her own body then quickly back up to him.  “Does it need deep conditioning?”

 John Meeting her eyes and the lift of her chin, he nudged his nose to hers. “It might.” He added, knowing exactly what she was getting at with that look in her eyes. “You going to help me with that?”

 Spence Nudging her nose back to his, she gave a slight shake of her head.  “You don’t need my help with that.  Washing your hair, maybe.  That?  How am I going to help you with that exactly?”  She asked, deciding to push the limits a bit.  Bringing her hand behind her into the stream of water steady hitting her back, she rinsed the soap from her hand before bringing it to her pubic bone.  “Could always… do it myself.”  She teased.

 John Watching her move for her pubic bone, he reached down. Hand finding hers. “You better behave, woman. You’ve put me through enough today.” He teasingly reminded her as he kept her hand within his before reaching for the other. Not willing to let it happen.

 Spence Already considering moving her other hand below, she felt him capture it as well.  Not that she was complaining, as being restrained by this man sent a rush through her that was unexplainable.  “Behave?  I was behaving.  You asked me for help, so I was… going to get it started?”  She offered as a plausible excuse for her defiance of something she already knew well where he stood with it.  Tugging backwards, she brought him with her towards the water, attempting to get the both of them rinsed off.  “How did you want me to help if not to start for you?”  She asked, eyes seeking out his, a suggestive look in her eye.  “Maybe you should tell me how to help… better yet, show me.”

 John “I don’t need any help.” He confirmed, voice stern at the mere suggestion as she pulled him towards the water. Meeting her eyes upon her question and suggestion. His hands finding her hips as he guided her to face away from him. Slightly edging forward to press her to the shower wall. Letting her feel his cock against her from behind as his hips grinded forward. Giving her just that.

 Spence The wall he had been eyeing for the duration of the shower was now met in a close up form as she was turned around, falsely thinking he was assisting in progress to get out of the shower, feeling him come up behind her, pressing her body to the wall.  Both hands met the tile as she turned to look over her shoulder, the feeling of his cock against her ass setting her off her playful game as her features reflected his new tone, one she was much familiar with.  Toying with the idea of arguing him, she knew better in this moment as she had given him enough hell this day.  She would behave herself, at least for the most part.  The cut of her eyes displayed the longing she felt for him in that moment, the part of her lips the same as she pushed her ass back against him.

 John Feeling her grinding into him, his lips finding the back of his shoulder. “I think we should play a game I like this time…” he confessed, another kiss to her as his teeth grazed her skin. Letting her hear his suggestion. “This is the closest you’ll get to any contact with pleasure until you can get me onto my back and riding me.” He declared. Hand slipping over her stomach. Stopping just under her navel.

 Spence Her longing lips denied for his taste of her shoulder had her eyes falling shut.  He wanted her dead, this she was sure of now.  As he pitched his game to her, she released a held breath.  That didn’t sound that bad.  She lowered her hands from the wall, attempting to turn around before him.  “I can get you on your back in thirty seconds.”  She stated firmly, assured of herself.  Not that she’d want to resort to taking him down by force, as she had reminded him of her capability earlier that day, though she was rather sure he’d go willingly.

 John “Yeah? We’ll see how bad you want it.” He stated as he allowed her to turn around, his hand finding the side of her face. Firmly planting a kiss to her lips. Disobeying the previous suggestion of not making out. Not able to help himself when it came to her as his free hand found her hip.

 Spence Not expecting the kiss, as she wasn’t sure what the rules of his game really were, apparently kissing was allowed.  Not a bad deal at all, she thought.  She could survive on kissing, for a while.  Both of her hands taking to his mid-section, she pushed back against him, forcing the two under the stream of water once more, though never letting their lips part.  Allowing the water to rinse away the soap, she dropped one hand to wrap around his cock, his game saying nothing about him getting pleasure before she was riding him.  Pulling back slightly from his lips, she played back.  “How bad do /you/ want it?”

 John Groaning softly to her lips as her hand found him, hearing her as she pulled back. Her question making him raise a brow. “You got the answer to that question right in your hand.” He coyly reminded her, hands finding her hips. Gripping at her. “But just in case you need reminding…”

 Spence Teasing him at this point would purely be cruel, though the thought was there.  He had taken something intimate and turned it into something else entirely.  Something that had her saying to hell with his injury, he’d be alright.  The turmoil within her, the struggle of right from wrong in that moment was pure hell for her.  Sharp movements of her wrist did not remotely resemble those which she had offered before as she drew her free hand back, cutting off the water entirely.  “Remind me…” she pushed slightly as she drew the shower curtain back, still maintaining the jerking motion at his piece.

 John Though it seemed intense, he knew the two were more than capable of switching gears. Taking things down or kicking them up depending. It was merely their way. Watching her turn off the shower signaling the end of this event as her hand found him once again. Teeth finding his bottom lip. “I want you more than anything else in this world.” He offered up, not a complete lie either.

 Spence Lifting to her toes, an attempt to steal that lip, a failed effort without some form of assistance.  She took a step to the side, getting brave now as she lifted one foot to the ledge of the tub, one hand finding his shoulder for support as she gave herself a slight height advantage, biting at his lower lip, tugging it outward for her own capture.  Drawing her arm around his neck, she pressed her lips fully to his, staking her own claim on that lip as she lowered her feet to the floor outside of the tub, her arm allowing her to tug his lips along with her.

 John Watching her spider-money like actions carefully, feeling her at his lower lip as she tugged at it. Pressing his lips back to hers as his hands found her hips. Feeling her lower herself to her feet before he felt her tug at his arm. Giving way to get out of the tub and follow after her without hesitation. Knowing good things were in store for him outside of the tub.

 Spence A reach of her arm, out to the side, stealing a towel from the rack above the toilet, she brought it down, dropping it to the floor so they could dry their feet on it at least.  Another reach of her hand and she was grabbing for another towel, attempting to somewhat dry them off while not willing to let go of that kiss.  Only releasing her hold around his neck to transfer that towel to the other hand to continue her mission so that the bed wouldn’t be soaked by the time they were finished.  A steady backwards step out of the bathroom, praying not to run into any walls in the process, fully intending on getting her withheld pleasure from him, just as he had stated to her.

 John Amazed at her grasp during the kiss of her surroundings, allowing her to back him out of the bathroom. Not many options once they got out of the bathroom either. Either to the door or the bedroom. His hand finding the side of her face. Eyes briefly opening just to assure they were in the right spot before he felt the back of his knees to the bed.

 Spence Trusting John to guide them, never opening her eyes nor thinking of it, she felt the resistance there as the back of his knees met the edge of the bed.  A smile instantly taking her lips within the kiss as she dropped the towel at their feet, both hands finding his chest, pushing slightly against him though she wanted to press much harder than that.  The push affording her lips to break free, eyes flashing up to his, a smirk replacing her smile.  “So what were those terms again?  No pleasure until…” she offered with a playful tone.

 John Feeling her at his chest as their lips broke, still not giving. Staying straight up as he heard her question, not giving in that easy. “Until you get me on my back and…” holding back that last punch of the suggestion, playing coy. “and what was that last part, you remember?” he asked, squeezing over her hips.

 Spence Her hands incessantly attempting to push him back to make good on that which she knew to be the order of this moment, though his frame proved stronger than her, and she was too afraid to hurt him to press harder.  A nod was paired with that smile at her lips.  “I do…” she assured, the bite to her lower lip returning.  “Lay down and tell me what you want…” She offered, the flirtation in her voice on level high, prepared to drop to her knees for convincing if necessary.

 John His hands were instantly drawn to her ass again, not able to get his fill of that grip he had on her once again. Watching her bite her lip as he heard her offer. “Lay down and give in so easy, hm?” he asked, a tempting offer yet still not quite giving.

 Spence The grip at her ass made it to where no dropping down would be easily occurring, though she imagined if she had his cock in her mouth, he would agree to most anything.  He was making it hard on her, forcing her hand in her opinion.  She drew her hand from his chest to rest against her stomach, eyes darting from her hand to his eyes once more.  “I think you should lay down.”

 John “I think you should be careful with that hand.” he stated honestly, finally sitting down but not leaning back as his hands remained against her ass. Lips pressing to her stomach, teeth finding her fingers as he nipped at her. Nudging her hand away from her stomach. Wanting nothing to do with it.

 Spence The move of him sitting had her instantly moving in, but kept at the distance with his hands.  His lips to her stomach had her closing her eyes with a sigh.  Her hand nipped at, prompting her to move it from his way, nudged away.  Bringing that hand gently against the back of his neck, encouraging his lips against her flesh, she had to take a deep breath at the warmth of his touch.  “John…” she whispered, lips finding the top of his head.  “I think you should lay down now…”  

 John Hearing his name falling organically from her lips and the suggestion, his hands finally unlatching from her ass to pass down the back of her thighs. Her suggestion bringing him to press a firmer kiss to her stomach, tracing down her navel. Lowering to her pubic bone but not growing any further. He was very serious about his previous promise to her about where she’d find her pleasure.

 Spence The path of his lips had her melting before him, losing her ability to attempt control in her voice at all.  He had all of the control, as per usual, and truthfully, she’d have it no other way.  Only he could make her feel this way, falling apart at his very touch.  A sigh could be heard falling from her lips, her stomach tightening as he passed below.  “Please,” she offered.  He was too close to that which she so desired.  Teasing her, which she recognized, yet leaving her in the position to beg, as he so often did.  

 John Feeling of the muscle of her abdomen tightening under his lips, his eyes slipping up. Smirking softly at her as he reached up. A playful smack to her ass before he was pulling himself back on the bed. Propping his head up, laying down with his hands tucked casually under his neck. “Careful what you ask for.”

 Spence The smack against her ass had a slight jolt, as she was not braced for it after their momentum had slowed, resembling something more intimate between the two.  The fast and slow, push and pull between them had her head spinning.  As he laid back, his position so chill, she could only wonder if he was feeling the intense heat in the room, nearly forming a sweat against her skin at just the slightest of touches.  As his words came forth, she lifted herself to the bed, damp flesh coming over his.  Resting just at his thighs, she offered up a grin.  “And just why should I be careful what I ask for?”  She asked, her hand taking to his cock, stroking upwards as she kept her eyes to his.  “You have more games, Mr. James?”  She asked, daring him from her own position of dominance atop him.

 John Regardless of any level of intimacy, the man could never help himself from gripping or smacking her ass. It was past his willpower as he felt her shift over him. Feeling her hand at his cock as she stroked him. Taking in a deep breath as he heard her question, shaking his head as his hands found the sides of her thighs. “No.” He answered simply, head lifting to kiss her chest.

 Spence The feeling of his hands at her thighs, the shake of his head, and that ever present deep breath at the contact had her smile only taking hold.  She loved being able to have this effect on him, a little silent reward for her and only her to enjoy.  As he lifted to press his lips against her flesh, she brought one hand to the back of his neck, encouraging his mostly bad behavior as she lifted to her knees, willing to position herself over his piece.  Her hand remaining at his shaft, she brought just the tip to her opening, hovering over him.  “I like games.”  She confessed, allowing her body to drop slightly, giving the smallest feeling of tightness, intentionally playing one of her own.  “I like your games.”  She added, slipping just a bit lower.  “I like pleasing you.”  She whispered honestly, as it was truly her favorite thing, even if she did step out of line with him from time to time to keep him on his toes.  He had awakened a side of her she never knew existed, a side that only existed for him, desperately needing him to guide her exploration of it at every turn.

 John His lips to her chest quickly detoured at her willing. Mouth finding one of her pert nipples as his hands stayed at her thighs, feeling her locate over him as his tongue brushed over her flesh. Feeling her guiding him within her little bits at a time, her teasing noted as he gave up a soft growl. Lips unlatching from her. “And you do it so good.” He remarked as she mentioned pleasing him.

 Spence The feeling of him taking her nipple within his mouth had her nearly unable to continue the slow teasing she was offering.  Her back arching, her body begging for more, forgetting she had control over just such a thing at the offered distraction of his lips.  As he broke free, confirming for her that she did it well for him, she could only smile, as it truly brought her great joy to do so.  “You make it easy,” she commented honestly, as he did.  He so often took control, showing her exactly what he wanted, making the guessing game of it gone completely, giving her a near guide on how to properly please him, to which she was mostly eager to do so at the drop of a hat.  In that effort, she drew in a slow breath, quickly dropping her lower body against his, taking his full length within her walls in an instant.  A gasp at her own lips as the act created a chain reaction throughout her own body, withdrawing her hand from his piece at the same time, gripping her fingertips against the back of his upper arm.  A moment of pause there before she shifted her hips against him.  

 John Leaning up slightly on his forearms, feeling her slipping down his length. A low groan as his teeth found his bottom lip, feeling her against his arm as his hands found her hips. Feeling her rocking against him as he took in the warmth of her slick walls. “See? You are plenty wet. Didn’t even have to touch you. Might have to do it more often.” He teased, though they both knew their normal kind of foreplay was something both of them enjoyed.

 Spence “Only because you teased the fuck out of me in that shower and about two minutes ago.  Credit still goes to you, John.”  She stated honestly, as it didn’t take much to initiate a dampness from him.  In truth, sometimes it was just a look and she felt it.  But he didn’t have to know all of that.  Her hands drifting to his lower abdomen, she rocked her hips forward then back, unable to sustain speaking with the depth of movement within her.  One hand meeting his at her thigh, dragging it before her own body, gripping there for a hold to pull against.  The deal was pleasure once he was on his back and she was riding him, which she was fully intending to ride for as long as her small frame could handle the depth achieved by such an act.

 John “I’ll take it.” He returned as she offered him credit, feeling the rock of her hips and the movement of her hands. Letting her pull at his hand to form an anchor for her. Hearing her fall quiet which was always a good sign for them as his teeth found his bottom lip. His free hand smoothing down her side. Giving up a low growl from the depth of his chest.

 Spence The view of him taking his lower lip sent her into a desperation to have it for herself, her grip at his hand increasing, her pull clearly different than before.  No longer was this hand being used for a source to pull against.  It was now clearly her attempt at drawing him up to her, to sit beneath her, to give her the closeness and access to that lip.  His wandering hand lost as her focus was to that lip.  “C’mere,” she pleaded, a one worded request, as nothing more than that could pass her lips as she continued to shift her hips against him, each drawing out heavier breaths from his wife as she officially found the pleasure he promised her, taking her a brief moment to adjust to him, a look in her eyes that would be more than familiar to him by this point.

 John Feeling the pull of her hand and her request, he pulled up onto his forearms. Giving her a taste of the obedience she gave him, knowing how rewarding it could be in these moments as he leaned up for her, feeling the shift of her hips as he met her eyes. His free hand finding the side of her face as he leaned up into a sitting position.

 Spence As he quickly adhered to her request, she was almost surprised it didn’t come with some remark or light refusal.  His hand taking the side of her face, as if he already knew what she was after, she released that hold at his hand, bringing both of her hands to the back of his neck, a new anchor for her, yet with the added perk of closeness, not to mention the availability of his lips there for her taking.  Though that hand at the side of her face had her slightly distracted from her original intent, leaning her head to the side to press into his palm a moment before she was closing the gap between their lips, taking to that lower lip that she had decided was hers for the taking, understanding fully why her own lower lip habit had the man doing the same half the time.  Shifting her hips steady against him, she paused for the kiss, allowing herself to fully display desire there against his lips.  A long moment there before she resumed a new motion, lifting up his length only to impale herself once more with steady lowerings against him, taking in deep breaths through his lungs within that kiss with each motion downwards.

 John He inhaled deeply to her lips, fingertips finding the back of her head as he felt the motion of her body changing from that rocking motion. Not even getting used to that, much less this one. His free hand still at her hip, passing down her outer thigh as he remained slightly leaned up on his elbows. Still allowing him access to his hands as he hummed to her lips.

 Spence Each rise and fall of her hips became less and less calculated as she simply reacted to that which was burning within her.  Every moment pressing a little harder, a little faster.  She was incapable of slowing that pace atop him, only encouraged by his firm hand and the hum at her lips.  She was not one for control in this arena, yet he seemed to be giving it to her left and right that night, be it out of necessity or some pleasure, she would adhere accordingly.  Withdrawing her lips from his, her teeth taking to his lower lip, the thing that had her drawing him up to her in the first place, her eyes opening to find his as she wore a look of determination at her features.  This lip was hers.  

 John Feeling the pull of his lip to her teeth, staking her claims that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to respect from how good she felt already. Meeting her eyes as she withdrew from it. Fingers pressing to the back of her neck before his forehead was pressing to hers. Allowing them that bit of ever revolving intimacy they seemed to be finding all over the place anymore.

 Spence Intimacy instigated by him left her drawing in a slow breath, doing all that she could to keep that pace at the adjoining of their hips.  Her eyes attempted to read his, pleading with him to tell her what he wanted there.  Before any answer, be it verbal or interpreted could be made, her body was naturally slowing.  Her breathing pattern matching that of his, the two becoming one form in the moment as such a simple act sent a chain reaction throughout her frame.  The mere action of his forehead to hers had her stealing her own lower lip between her clenched teeth, out of his sight at least for the moment, as he had stunned her completely.  

 John Watching her bite her bottom lip as she slowed, not mourning it as she still felt intensely good to the man. Seizing the moment as his hand slipped from the back of her neck, tilting her head back to access her bare throat. His lips pressed to the column of her as his tongue traced slowly down to the valley of her chest. Taking advantage as his lips coated her skin.

 Spence The move of his hand had her chin lifting, already knowing that what would follow would set her on fire for him.  The chosen path he took had the whine at her lips, instantly reacting as she leaned into the touch.  Both of her hands wrapping around his upper arms, small fingertips grasping to his flesh as she continued to rise and fall against him, adding a slight shift of her hips after every fall, combining the first and second motions together, which was almost enough to push her over the edge.  “Fuck…” she issued her complaint, though one he would recognize and know not to make any corrections due to.  The sounds of sheer pleasure radiating through the hotel room, surely having Scrappy hiding off somewhere away from the nightly occurrence.  “John…” she whispered, one hand finding the back of his neck, careful not to go for the back of his head, though that would be her typical place to hold onto him in a moment like this.

 John Feeling her clutched to the back of his neck, his tongue slipped down her chest. Tasting her clean flesh as his hand slipped down for her hips. Grasping her firmly. Hearing his name on her lips having his lips smoothing over her breasts, his free hand moving from her chin. The back of his fingers tracing the same path down her throat that his lips had. The rocking of her hips causing his breath to hitch. Able to feel the push of her slick walls all through him.

 Spence It was almost as if he knew just what to do to have her entire body racing for the finish line.  The glide of his hand, the grip at her hip, the brush of his lips, all working together against and for her all at the same time.  The motion of her hips remaining as constant as possible, she could not hold back from slightly increasing as she felt herself tensing, her release imminent.  One hand at the back of his neck, the other to the back of his upper arm, her grip increased along with the pace.  A slight tremble felt there at her thighs, the clenching tightness of her inner walls drawing around him.  Holding back, she held to that edge for as long as she possibly could.  “J—“  The beginnings of his name, though she could not complete even that as the tension gave way to pulsating walls around his thick cock buried deep within her.  The motion she had increased coming to an almost halt as she gave in fully to the release, nails replacing fingertips against him, pressing firmly into damp flesh.

 John Feeling her cumming, no feeling could ever surpass that of which he got from knowing he could do this to her. The intensity of it, feeling her tremble on top of him as she embedded her nails into his skin. A welcomed notion as his lips pressed to the center of her chest. Feeling her heart thudding wildly there as his hand at her hip found her ass. Her paused motions still not stopping him from touching her as he wanted to. Pressing another firm kiss to her lips before he was tracing up the side of her neck to her ear. Teeth at her lobe.

 Spence Finding it nearly impossible to continue any motion at her hips, it was that hand at her ass that would prompt her to keep pushing, even if the action was ever so slight in the moment, it was still there.  His lips took to hers almost mid-gasp, though she welcomed them there before they were gone again.  The entire moment leaving her in control, yet unable to predict what would come next from the man who was supposed to be not up to par.  As he gripped her ear lobe within his teeth, her heated breath fell upon his ear.  “Goddamn you,” she accused, arms coming to wrap around his neck, drawing their bodies even closer together.  Not allowing herself a full pause, the contractions of her walls weakened, yet did not cease.  Uneven breaths against his neck as she lowered her head to press her lips to the curve.

 John Hearing her damn him, as if he was not already damned, he smirked softly to himself as he felt her at his neck. “Amen.” He muttered, hand landing sharply at her ass as he pressed his flat palm back into her flesh. Feeling the contractions of her walls against him as his free hand passed over her shoulder and upper arm.

 Spence The smack to her ass had her clinging tighter to him.  Even in a soft moment, he could still catch her by surprise, knowing that ass was his for the smacking anytime he saw fit.  “Could just hop off of ya now…” she teased, daring to press the limits a bit now that she got hers, trying to spark something in him, yet not sure that she completely wanted to do that all at the same time.  “The game was good though.  I must say.  You were right on that one.”  She teased with a light graze of her teeth against his shoulder.

 John “Yeah? I guess you could.” He remarked as she mentioned hopping off of him, not sure she had the nerve but willing to play along as she gave her approval. Nodding softly as he felt her at his shoulder. Hand still at her ass as his other hand hooked the back of her thigh. “This is the part where I have to go make you a sandwich, right?”

 Spence Shocked at the idea that he would actually let her off of him, if not for the fact that he had yet to get off himself, but the fact that she was rather certain he had never withdrawn from her before after only one orgasm.  “I mean… it’d be a long walk to go get me a sandwich considering neither of us considered bringing food… and I don’t know… I can still walk, so we ain’t done yet.”  She confirmed, a sinister grin to her lips as she pressed a kiss at the side of his neck.  “Unless you’re done with me…” she offered, already having a feeling on that one.

 John Whole heartedly joking with her as he wasn’t letting the woman go quite yet, he heard her response about the proverbial sandwich. Nodding his head. Hearing her suggestion about being done with him. “Done with you? When have I ever been done with you?” He asked, reminding her of their joint task here and who she was dealing with as his hand against her thigh drew her towards him allowing some friction.

 Spence That move of her body had her feeling his depth post-release, a place that was increasingly more sensitive and he knew it well.  A whine fell against his shoulder as she took the gesture to resume the motion of her hips, a slow rhythm there, allowing him the control since his hand seemed to have that under control.  “Yeah, I don’t know.  I hope you’ll never be?”  She asked, an honest statement with a questioning raise of her voice as to not take things to too emotional of a place on him.  A slow lifting of her hips, she dared him, pretending she might slip off him entirely.  “Pizza though?  Hmm… tempting.”

 John “I think we’ll be alright.” He suggested, his tone knowing they would be alright as he felt her pulling from him. An action that only had him pushing harder to her before he remembered the grip of her hand, slipping down to the back of her knee where she found her lift. Seeking to unbalance her and send her straight back down him. His thumb pressing playfully into the pressure point to the side of her knee.

 Spence His ploy worked just as he plotted, sending her frame down against him in a quick motion that had her instantly crying out.  Forced into falling against him, she was caught by surprise at this action, shocked all at the same time that she never saw it coming.  “Okaaaay,” she whined, both hands moving to his wrists, attempting to take this ability away from him.  “That was mean.  Cruel.  And I loved it.”  She confessed, pressing her lips to his as she rocked her hips against his, gripping tightly to those wrists of his.

 John “Mmm…” humming, quite pleased with himself and the feeling of her forced down his piece, he felt her at his wrists. Not giving any as he remained gripped to her. Not having to use his grip for mean or cruel if she merely worked with him but knowing she got off on those things. She only encouraged his bad behavior in the best of ways.

 Spence Just because he wasn’t budging at his hold on her didn’t mean she wasn’t steady attempting to tug his hands back from her.  She withdrew her kiss from his lips, a pout evident on her features, though she didn’t show the same signs of pouting in the rocking of her hips.  “Let me have your hands.”  She requested, a soft tone to her lips, trying to persuade him with a false innocence, as if she was up to absolutely nothing.  “I want to hold your hands.”  She lied, that slight bite to her lower lip indicating just so.

 John Feeling her point to his lips and her request, he shook his head at her. Knowing better. “I will give you a hand.” He offered, singular. Lifting his hand from her ass, the other still tight to the back of her thigh as it found her own hand just to see what she would do with that as his own lips sought out her bottom tier.

 Spence His offer of one hand did nothing for her.  She wanted them both.  The one hand offered from her ass, one remaining to the back of her thigh, she smirked as his lips took to her lower.  A hum there as she took that hand in hers, bending at the elbow to lean back, stealing her lips away from him, using her own body with the force of gravity to attempt leaning back as she eyed him.  “I wanted both hands.”  She stated, keeping the roll to her hips, a new angle with new stimulation for them both as she put all trust in him to keep her at this position, as a release of that hand would have her on her back.

 John Hearing her statement as she leaned back, barely computing as she rolled her hips against him. The intense sere of pleasure, she had him right where she wanted him and probably didn’t even realize as his hands balanced her evenly. Leaning in where his lips pressed to her chest once again. Getting most use of the position.

 Spence Feeling him there at her chest again, she almost lost her own grip at his hand, fully relying on his hand to keep her there in place.  “Don’t let me fall,” she instantly begged, making no attempt to lift from this position as the fact was, he was reaching places within her that had her body twitching with each movement she made.  This position would be one that wouldn’t last long, there was no way her frame could handle it, with this known, it was almost as if she pressed harder, rolling her hips more drastically to draw the full effect for them both as it would be short lived.  Drawing her other hand to the bed behind her, she pressed against it, needing to give herself more support in the moment, just out of fear that her other hand would soon slip.

 John His hands slipped under her back, forearms barring and protecting her weight there at her statement. Giving her a nod, inhaling sharply as she rolled her hips harder into his own. Watching her and merely waiting for her body to give before he’d take over for her.

 Spence His hands moving beneath her, a show of trust as he found a way to ensure she would not fall, she leaned back against his grasp, affording the angle to change ever so slightly, a place that had her trembling with each roll of her hips.  Leaning her head back, she succumbed to the full motion.  Lifting her hand from the bed, she relinquished all trust to John, bringing her hand to rest at his own thigh, matched by her hand on the other side.  The longer she was in this position, the weaker she became, though she’d not ever admit it out loud, determined to continue on.  Various whimpers at her lips, the toll taken on her vocal chords as even her whimper now held a strong rasp.  

 John Feeling the weakness of her body, trusting him entirely as he heard the whimper of her voice. Not risking moving just yet and ruining something for her. Even he was able to feel the angle of penetration allowing him to smoothly glide against her furthest and most difficult to access of walls. His teeth finding his bottom lip. Thoroughly enjoying the look and sight of her.

 Spence She was completely at his mercy at this point, as she had lost all ability to fight anything.  There was no daring word on her tongue.  She had put herself in this position, yet damned herself all at the same time.  The simple lifting of her hands from his thighs to grasp at his forearms took vast amounts of effort and determination.  All of her energy focused in on continuing the motion of her hips.  Drawing both of her legs to wrap around his waist, finding a way yet to get closer, allow him deeper, though this would put most of the control back in his capable hands.  Her breathing frantic, her body trembling in his very hands.  His name there at her lips, over and over, yet in such a low and raspy tone it was barely audible.

 John Catching her breathing rising. His own hitching naturally from the sheer intensity of that position. His hands pressed to her back, feeling each rock of her hips allow him impossibly deep within her. Feeling her at his forearms as he maintained her balance. Her vice grip around his waist well noted as he listened to the tone of his own name somehow managing to be likable when delivered from her own lips.

 Spence Desperately close, yet refusing to give in to the feeling, she drew the muscles in her abdomen tightly together, pulling herself upwards in a swift motion.  Her hands still at his forearms, her upper body now pressed to his as she curled around him, stilling that movement at her hips as she attempted to back down from the release that was coming on far too fast for her liking.  Unable to sustain it a second longer, she did the only thing she could which was to return to him.  Heavy breaths drawn in, clear to just how close she had come, unable to speak though it didn’t mean attempts were not made, mostly coming forth as singular sounds.  Her body trembled in his hold, hating that she had given up on the position, yet the spinning in her head said she could go on no longer.

 John Feeling her pulling onto him and a moment away from release, feeling his own edging closer as his hands shifted to her hips. Shifting his own weight suddenly as he turned them over. Shifting her onto her back as he slipped on top of her. His hands reaching down. Guiding her legs high around his hips, guiding them even higher to gain forbidden access to her as his hips took swiftly to the pace she had set while trying to hold out on him.

 Spence Only a fleeting moment of reprieve before her weakened body was turned on its back with him over her, not expecting the guiding at her legs around his hips, followed by the move to lift them higher.  She was simply too exhausted to have done it herself, yet somehow he knew this, taking every bit of control back in his hands, where it rightfully belonged.  The pace was immediately resumed, as was her quick rush back to the verge of release she had just began to ease down from.  “Fuck!”  She cried beneath him, a cry of absolute pleasure as it raced throughout her small frame, her hands gripping tightly at the comforter beneath her.

 John Hearing the rebuttal of her one word, he smirked to himself as his lips lingered to her cheek. His pace increasing, assisting her in her own pleasures and his own as well as he could feel his orgasm resonating in the pit of his stomach. Spreading as he pushed harder into her, his hands still at her sides. Feeling each rough and quickened pump he enabled her with through his hands. Breath hitching as he prepared for that complete euphoria.

 Spence Their pace ever changing, not quite taking on the true look or feel of a glorified fuck until this moment as he neared his release, as she returned to a place she had backed down from.  The hitch in his breath was so familiar, yet she could barely sense it as each thrust into her had another expletive attached, his name thrown in between as confusion set in, no longer able to make any sense of anything.  The quivering of her body beneath him, each jolt higher on the bed stopped by that of his hands at her hips.  The bed jerking forward to meet the wall beneath the mounted headboard, surely causing quite the ruckus to the neighboring room, yet she made no effort to silence the intensified cries brought forth by his every move.  A turn of her head had her pressing her lips to his, nips at his lips between, still steady trying to hold off, yet the clenching of her core muscles would prove she could not.  

 John He pressed his lips back to hers though barely able to manage a neat form as he felt her occasional nip to him. Still pushing into her, his back teeth clenching. Determined to hold out for her, needing her to release for him to do the same yet with each push into her, it was becoming more difficult. His breath hitching once again as he pressed deep within her. Hips rolling in circles between her thighs in a last ditch effort to pull off what he knew always got her there.

 Spence An expertise on her body and how to get it to react the way he wanted, three months of knowledge afforded John the ability to take her from so close and resisting to completely at his will.  Within seconds of the added motion, the clenched hands at the comforter were brought to his upper arms.  She lifted her upper body slightly, meeting his shoulder with her lips.  Teeth unshielded, nails digging at his flesh, her body quaked beneath him, reacting in nearly every form possible.  As she drug her nails against his upper arms, the feeling came rushing through, unable to be restrained in any fashion.  Her inner walls clenched tightly around his thick cock buried within her, that which he drew from her rushing forth to coat him once again.  The gasps for air at her lips, though she did not release her bite from his shoulder, a mark sure to develop there and at his upper arms at the will of her nails scraping at the upper layer of skin.  

 John Not a moment after feeling her deep release, the collapse of her slick walls around him and the mere way she reacted to that release had him doing the same. One more deep thrust into her before his face buried itself at her neck. Giving up a deep groan as the man unloaded the plentiful thick of his seed within her. The burn of her teeth and nails to his skin only making it better for him.

 Spence Her grasp at him remaining firm, strength drawn from somewhere deep within, she held fast to him as she felt him lean into her, a familiar feeling and sound as he drew close to her, releasing within her pulsating walls.  Helping him in the moment by taking movement from him, allowing herself to bring him through his release as she came down from her own, assuring she took in all that he offered her of what she considered her earnings.  Slowly, she eased off her nails, her hand coming to rest at the back of his neck, holding him close to her as she backed down from the intense pace he had set.

 John His hips has stilled entirely as she took it up, allowing him to continue cumming within her even once he had considered himself finished. His hand tightening at her hip as he felt her finally slowing. The feeling of her at the back of his neck as he fought for his breath past that rigid and intense orgasm. Not yet moving from her neck as he took in her scent and comfort until he was ready to lift from her.

 Spence Making no effort to draw her legs from around him, she simply stayed as he had placed her as her efforts came to a slow stop.  A hand slipping to the side of his face as she drew in breath against his shoulder, attempting to regain full composure once more.  After a few moments, she turned her head to the side, pressing a kiss at his temple, holding it there for several seconds before she returned to his shoulder again, her free hand at his upper arm, thumb lightly caressing the area she had minutes before been clawing at.  “You okay?”  She asked, suddenly burdened with all that had transpired at their apartment that night and how she probably should not have baited him into this position, yet she couldn’t regret it too much if he was alright.

 John Feeling her at his bicep as his hands found the bed underneath of them. Pushing up where he met her eyes at the question. Nodding after his head had left her neck. “Yeah, I’m good.” he stated simply, a brush of his fingers through his hair until he was rolling onto his side at her own side. “and how about yourself?” he asked casually, as if nothing had happened between them just a moment before.

 Spence She watched as he moved his hand through his hair, a place she herself had avoided though so tempting throughout the entire occurrence.  “I’m fine,” she replied, though her body ached in places she didn’t know she had.  Every night with them some sort of adventure it seemed, never able to predict from one moment to the next.  “Kinda bored.  We should fuck.”  She teased as she turned to her side, eyes scanning down his body as if to be suggestive.

 John “Maybe in a few minutes…I just had a girl and lemme tell you…” lifts a tired brow, clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Fuckin’ phenomenal.” he teased as he met her eyes, fingers slipping under her chin. Tilting her back up to look at him. “Keep your eyes where I can see ‘em, woman.” he instructed, again, playfully. Lips pressing gently to hers.

 Spence Her own brows lifting as he said he just had a girl.  She knew it was her, that was of no question, but the jealousy rose up within her anyways.  Some playful.  Some not.  As he lifted her chin, she brought her eyes to his before she was met with a soft kiss.  Staying there at his lips, she moved in close to him, drawing slightly back from the kiss to speak against his lips.  “Any girl that comes within two feet is dead.”  She stated, leaving it up for speculation as to how much was playful and how much was serious.

 John “Yeah?” he asked, hearing her statement to his lips as his fingers remained under her chin. Pressing another slow and lose kiss to her lips, almost teasingly. Not giving her a whole lot to hang onto. “Well, let’s hope that don’t happen. Hm?”

 Spence Her hand coming to rest against his face, drawing into the kiss, though the teasing was noted.  “Better do better than hope.  I didn’t get to what I’d do to you…” she hinted, a smirk to her lips.  Drawing her leg to cross over his thigh, still coming close to him, venturing to cross lines, though perhaps not very smoothly.  “I never meant to fall in love with you.”  She confessed, eyes searching for if she should continue or not.  “You’re the greatest surprise of my life, Johnny James.”  She stated, actually using the name she so frequently avoided.

 John “Lorena Bobbit comes to mind…” he teased when she mentioned what would become of him as he felt her over his thigh, his hand slipping down to guide her leg further over him as he heard her statement that brought his brow to raise though listening. Eyes flickering between hers. “Ohhh, Johnny James. That’s different.” he teased before his tongue swept his bottom lip. “Do you regret it?” he asked, speaking of her falling in love with him.

 Spence The shot of her eyes would confirm his suspicions on what would become of him if she caught wind of a woman anywhere close enough to possibly accidentally view his dick, much less be on it.  Leaving that in the past for now, now that other things were on the table.  She gave a light shake of her head instantly when asked if she regretted it, though her eyes were directed to his lip in that moment.  “I don’t.”  She offered in a whisper.  “Though don’t get used to that –ny on your name.  It tastes funny.”

 John “I’ll give you something else that tastes funny in a minute.” he teased, knuckle playfully nudging her jawline as his free hand swept down the back of her leg. Remaining on his side to keep the pressure from the back of his head as his eyes swept the room. “Where did the dog get off to?”

 Spence With the direction of the conversation going in the direction it had, she wouldn’t attempt to pick it back up any time soon.  The nudge at her jaw had a dramatic turn of her head as if he had actually hit her, though her laugh was there at her lips.  “Such promises.  Thought you were worn out by some skank.”  She reminded him of his own joke earlier.  “He’s probably hiding.  I think he thinks you hurt me.  And you know he pretty much thinks I’m the sweetest thing.  He’s probably off praying his mom will be alright.”  She teased, hand finding the side of his face, attempting to keep his eyes to her.  “I’d offer to go find him, but… I probably can’t walk, so.”

 John “No skanks.” he offered in response, brushing his fingers to that spot he had nudged. Hearing her explanation of where Scrappy had gotten off to as he hummed. “Poor dog…” he grumbled as he allowed one arm to fall off of the edge of the bed. Snapping his fingers and giving up a whistle in attempt to lure him out from wherever he had chosen to hide.

 Spence Leaning back slightly, allowing John the room to go find the dog if he wanted to, she considered pulling the same act off the other side of the bed, just to see who the dog loved more, but she decided against it, simply allowing John the bond with the dog that had started out as just his, though now Spencer thought of as hers as well.  “Poor dog is right.  His dad nails his mom every night and mom makes scary sounds.”  She added, a laugh there at her lips.  “It’s okay Scrappy.  Daddy’s done.”  She teasingly called out, as if the dog would understand that, slipping off the side of the bed, out of John’s now weakened hold since he seemed to be after the dog instead of her.  Pulling from the bag she had packed a pair of John’s boxers and a t-shirt, she brought them to the side of the bed, putting them on herself instead of offering them to him.  “What do you think?  Super hot or super not?”  She asked, posing for him in his own clothes, a laugh there at her lips, sex hair topping off the look as she went for continuing playful with him, though she really had tried to get serious to no avail.

 John Leaning up slowly to rest his back onto the headboard as he watched her, thinking he was being handed is clothes but not quite. Watching her dress as she mentioned his opinion. Catching her pose as he gave up a slow smirk. “Never thought I’d be excited to see what’s under these.” he teased, a playful pull of his own boxers at her leg downwards.

 Spence Stepping back out of his grasp, she shook her head.  “No!  You already had some!”  She teased, pulling the boxers back into place.  “These are my new pajamas.”  She teased, turning for him, lifting the back of the t-shirt slightly to give a glance at the ass before she was climbing into the bed beside him.  “That way your hands can’t be roaming in our sleep anymore.”  She teased, as if she didn’t like it.  “Where’s my sandwich?”  A laugh at her lips as she sat criss cross in front of him, her hand taking his into hers, pulling it into her lap.  “You have any regrets?”  She asked, a loaded question, though he should know what she meant by it.

 John “and I’ll have more before the night is through.” he reminded her as she pulled the boxers back up, shaking his head at her explanation. As if that would truly stop him as he knew what was underneath. “No sandwich for you. I’d offer you a poptart out of the vending machine though.” nods knowingly before hearing her question, a hand reaching down to scoop up the Grey pup running across the floor. Pulling him into the bed. “No point in having regrets even if I wanted to have them.“

 Spence She eyed him at his reminder that he’d be getting more.  She could play that he wouldn’t, yet she knew if he wanted it, she’d be providing it.  “I don’t want a damn poptart.”  She stated with a laugh, shaking her head at his offer.  “That is not a sandwich.”  As the dog was brought up, she reached out with her free hand to scratch at the back of his ear.  “Okay…”  The wheels in her mind were now spinning, clearly overthinking.  “So I say we raid the mini bar if you aren’t hooking me up with a sammich.”

 John Resting him on the bed beside him, petting his back as he heard her mention the mini bar. He was finally beginning to piece things together with her. What they both did. Drink to distract themselves from overwhelming emotions. “Have at it…” he offered simply, merely sitting back and observing.

 Spence She started to get up, but paused, looking over at him.  “No mini bar for you?”  She asked, taking a deep breath.  A tilt of her head to the side as she tugged at that hand she had a hold on.  “None for you then none for me.”  She reasoned, having already done enough drinking alone that day.  Her demeanor went from playful to serious as she looked towards him from the short distance that separated him.  A bite to her lower lip as she attempted to put her thoughts in order.  “Alright.  I’ll just cut to it then.”  She began, her words slow and calculated, as she really wasn’t sure how to just ask, but she wasn’t finding any way to ease to it.  “Earlier, at home, you said something and I’m not really sure if you meant it or if you meant to say it or if you were just blacking out and had no clue what you were saying…”

 John Watching her from that bit of distance which seemed like a lightyear considering their norm, hearing the seriousness of her tone as his brows briefly rose at the concept of blacking out. He obviously knew what she was talking about. Lips slightly tightening at the concept as if he had just forgotten. “Yeah, I know…” he stated simply, through a foggy memory yet that event stood out in the front.

 Spence With the confirmation that he did in fact know what he had said to her, it was enough for her.  She wouldn’t push the issue.  She didn’t need to hear it a million times a day to survive.  She just wanted to be sure it was meant and not just a moment of absentmindedly saying something without true meaning.  She nodded her head as a small smile graced her lips.  “Alright.”  She stated softly, moving in a bit closer as the distance was simply too vast, now sitting thigh to thigh with her hand holding to his.  “I was just… overthinking.”  She confessed.

 John Watching that small smile, he couldn’t help but wonder if that meant something. Anything. This development had come as a surprise to both of them, least of all him. Still, she didn’t seem particularly happy about it as she sat beside him. His back leaned to the heard board, glancing down where Scrappy was circling a particularly lucrative patch of sheets and blankets. "Yeah…”

 Spencer As he leaned back, she couldn’t help but wonder if she shouldn’t have breached the subject, yet it didn’t change the hold she had on his hand.  She wasn’t sure if she should say more or leave it where it was, knowing it was so fragile of a thing to hold possession of from one another, yet something that should also be enjoyed at the same time.  Loving each other didn’t mean it was going to be any easier.  It just meant it would be even more worth fighting for.  She stayed where she was for several long moments before she was making the move to straddle over the naked man wearing his own clothing.  His eyes were directed to the dog, yet a touch of her free hand would encourage him to look at her.  “So tell me again?”  She requested, a certain smile at her lips insinuating that she’d have a true response to it this time that wouldn’t be out of fear on a bathroom floor holding her bleeding husband.

 John Feeling her slip over top of him and regain the normal shreds of character he had grown to understand of her. Hearing her question and the smile at her lips. A moment of hesitation before he spoke. “I’m never going to be that guy, Spence. I told you but…I can’t be…"screaming it from the rooftops, it was the mark of weakness. He wasn’t sure whether she was connecting the dots between the anxiety attack and the confession but the bandage on the back of his head said exactly what she was after.

 Spencer
A sentiment offered to her before, yet denied from her now had her simply nodding her head.  “Yeah…” she whispered, the smile slowly fading to a look of more seriousness.  She had come to realize her love for him quite some time before, harboring it silently for a while before letting him in on it.  She couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever be able to say it to her again after the bathroom floor of their apartment.  Him saying it then had given such high hopes to her for a time that the two could actually look into each other’s eyes and just say it.  But him saying what he said now told her she might need to let go of that idea.  “I understand.”  She simply offered, her teeth taking her lower lip, gnawing out of nervousness as she had the first night they shared as a married couple before the alcohol began flowing.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered as she released his hand, leaning down against his chest, knowing she wouldn’t be hearing it, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t feel it.  John "For fucks sake, I fuckin’ love you but please stop making me go here. It ain’t good for me.” He blurted out all together as he felt her at his chest. Did she realize him blatantly showing her anything but ownership would make her a target? He had many enemies and would create many more. For as long as she was around him, she was not safe. Not from them or the demons that roosted in his own head.

 Spencer As she came to rest against his chest, his outburst was both heard through his lips and felt through her ear against his chest.  She tilted her chin upwards to catch the glimpse of his face, her hand finding its way there against the side, urging him to look down to her.  “I love you too, John.”  She stated at first, wanting nothing more than the opportunity to share the sentiment, but then there was all the other things that surrounded how he told her, as if it was terrible that he did.  “It’s not good for you to say that you love me?”  She asked, clearly confused on how it could possibly be a bad thing.  She saw it is miraculous that the two could be thrown into a marriage to cover up a crime and then to find such trust and love that had grown all on its own, taking them both by surprise.  How there was anything bad in them finding something true was beyond her.

 John “No…” he stated at her question, reading the confusion on her eyes. In these moments, the woman could be so naive to the happenings of this world. “Guys like me. They don’t love. It’s all a private matter. You’ve already heard plenty about all that shit. The road pussy, the hang-arounds, old ladies and the rest…that is ‘cause loving someone is a weakness and showing you love someone is bad for business and bad for you. Only the dumb guys come in thinkin’ they can flaunt that shit all over M.C.’s.” He explained as he watched her. “I have enemies. Lots of 'em. If I show you off like a piece of convenient pussy then that’s all anyone would think about it. They won’t gun for you knowing to get you would weaken me. Loving me and me loving you is literally bad for the health of both of us.”

 Spencer As much as she didn’t want to accept the way things were, she had been slowly coming around to it over the course of their marriage, but finally it all made sense to her in what he said.  He couldn’t defend her to his mother, or anyone for that matter.  He couldn’t show that he loved her, for in his love for her was the need to protect her at the same time.  She nodded her head, understanding finally how this was supposed to work.  She had to look like a convenience, yet the entire time, for the sake of their cover at first, and then for the real emotions that had grown there, she had treated this like a real marriage with real feelings attached.  Quickly, she brought her lips to his, a silent understanding met through a tender kiss at his lips.  As she slowly sealed that kiss against his lips, drawing back ever so slightly, she met his eyes again.  “I’m not scared.”  She promised, preferring to be gunned for in honesty than to hide in a lie.  She loved him and she didn’t know any other way to be.  If it meant she’d take a bullet or die, in her mind, it would be a death to be proud of.  “But we’re alone here.”  She assured him, in her mind making it safe for such words to be expressed together.  

 John Pressing his lips back to hers as she seemed to finally understand that they were not out of the woods and would never be. He heard her mention not being scared, he shook his head. “Not yet. In the beginning, nothing seems so bad…give it time.” He told her honestly as he met her eyes. “And I get that but take it for what it is.” The man stated, he wasn’t the type. He didn’t like the word nor the emotion or anything that came with it. She had gotten more out of than most. Even years of on and off again work with his ex had not rendered such results.

 Spencer Exhaling a held breath, it was a hard pill to swallow for her.  She thought that night, though hellacious as it had been, had stood as a break through that had been building between the two of them for some time.  She didn’t expect sky writing or a blimp.  She understood now why they couldn’t portray love on the outside, though it would pose as difficult for her, but she couldn’t understand why he seemed to hate the idea of loving her so much in private.  She didn’t know if this meant she was to hide her own sentiment to him, though it was very much so in her nature to feel it and to feel it deeply.  To express it.  If those moments had to be within the privacy of their own home or for now a hotel room, then she would attempt it.  But to have it on the table earlier and then feel as if it was taken off the table now, it was difficult for the product of a loving marriage to understand.  Instead, she nodded her head, lowering her face to rest against his chest again as she silently attempted to work this out within her mind, though she’d never fully be able to grasp it.

 John Watching her go quiet, he almost felt for the woman. She wanted someone who was whole and could manage these things and thought she had found in him but had been horribly mistaken. He had never been that man. She deserved a better hand than what she had been dealt. Perhaps another cop or a lawyer or someone of notable worth. Instead? She got a grungy biker who was an 8th grade drop out amongst other notable accolades. Silently, he pressed his lips to her forehead. Closing his eyes.

 Spencer Feeling that kiss at her forehead, the slightest smile took her features.  It was in those gestures that had told her long ago that it was safe to fall for the man.  Forehead kisses meant something entirely different in her mind than any other kiss.  “Am I allowed to say it to you?”  She asked, quickly following with an addition to her question.  “In private, I mean…”  This question standing to say that while she was going to attempt to conform to what he needed from her, not to make herself or him a target in public, she needed the freedom to express herself with him, at least in private.  She couldn’t live a life where she couldn’t speak freely of her emotions, knowing what it was when those words stopped.  When life became mundane.  When the sentiment was no longer exchanged out of forgetfulness.  She never wanted John to forget how she felt for him and never wanted to allow the words to fade from her vocabulary either, finding a certain grounding within the phrase, a reassurance that as much as she needed to hear it herself, she also needed to be able to offer it.

 John “You do what you want…as long as it doesn’t turn into something that gets you pissed at me that I’m not so forthcoming.” He stressed, at least a lot more lax when they weren’t put to the task of being actors. Though he’d still have a little voice in his head laughing when a woman of her station suggested loving him and mocking set in.

 Spencer Processing his words was always a task to be had.  She couldn’t quite manage what they meant half the time, having to venture out into things that she was unsure of constantly.  She didn’t know how to do this.  She had thought for a time that he didn’t love her.  Then she thought he did.  Then she’d convince herself otherwise.  Now, having the words spoken to her twice in one night, she had no idea how long she’d have to hold on to the knowledge, reminding herself that he did love her, even if the sentiment wasn’t exchanged.  The only thing she could compare it to didn’t turn out so well, so she’d be in a state of constantly reminding herself to somehow not put so much value in the words, though they held the most value with her.  “Alright,” she agreed quietly, her tone reflecting agreement and almost contentment with what he had offered her.  “Maybe we have… a code.  Something that’s just for us?  Then we know what it means, but it doesn’t sound like that.  Others would be unaware of it, and we’d have that… feeling?”  She offered, actually attempting to meet him halfway on this.

 John “Okay…” he hummed at the mention of a code word. Something that would be more for her ultimately. Johnny wasn’t one who ran on sentiment, needless to say. If he did? He’d be dead by as a child in that warped upbringing which was his own. Yet, if it helped her, he’d try. “What do you have in mind?”

 Spencer His willingness to potentially go along with a crazy idea spoke volumes to her, having her lifting back to the sitting position atop him, her hands seeking out one of his.  “Well, it could be A word or a few words… something that wouldn’t sound strange to anyone else.”  She paused to think on that for a moment, not really knowing where to go with it, but drawing at straws for an idea.  “I don’t know, but it would have to be casual, something you’d already say or I’d already say, but we’d just attach a new meaning to it.”

 John “Alright.” He confirmed, understanding her grasp as he reached for his hand. Giving hers an idle squeeze as he glanced down towards Scrappy whose eyes were just barely open. “What if we used him? And say something like, I don’t know. 'I think Scrappy needs to go out. Change it if needed for past tense…”

 Spencer “Scrappy means love.  That how you’re gonna sell me to stop calling him Axel?”  She asked teasing him.  It could work.  Unless Scrappy actually did need to go out.  Poor dog would need to pee and she’d be all love struck.  “Could always use the word fuck.  We say it enough, no one would be the wiser.  Then it would be like an I love you every twenty-four seconds.”  She teased, her mood seeming to lighten as this thought process went on.  “Jawn and Ass.”  She suggested, words that would fly both ways ordinarily anyways.  “What about yeah… just yeah?  It’s simple enough to be a loaded word, drawn out if need be?”

 John “You’re just mad that you didn’t come up with it first.” He accused, listening to her rattling off a few suggestions. Snorting at the mention of ass as that one would definitely get him in trouble. “You tell me what you wanna’ do, Detective. I’m just the dumb felon here.” He concluded dryly as his eyes followed hers.

 Spencer “Johnnn…” she whined, a pout developing at her lips.  She didn’t like him calling himself dumb one bit.  The man was anything but dumb in her eyes and he’d never sell her on the idea of it.  “It has to be something you’d be comfortable with.  We can figure it out later…”  She offered, a shrug of her shoulders to join the statement.  She didn’t want it to feel hard.  Everything else was hard enough.  She didn’t want finding a way to say they loved each other to be hard too.  “Now you owe me a kiss.”  She stated, her hand playing with his fingers as she was now so often doing.  “A good one at that.”  She urged, returning to her pout formerly in progress.

 John “All of it is comfortable. Just pick one. I don’t care what it is.” He explained, feeling her at his fingers and her statement. He raised an eyebrow at her statement. “Are you suggestin’ that all my kisses ain’t good?” He asked, catching her in that one as his nose nudged hers at the sight of her pout.

 Spencer Maintaining that pout with him was difficult, but she had a little thing called determination running through her tiny frame.  “You pick.”  She argued, feeling that nudge at her nose.  “I’m suggesting that I want you to pull out all the stops on this one.  Best. Kiss. Ever.  Sweep me off my feet and make me want to… yeahhh.”  She offered, trying out one of the words for size.  

 John “Yeah?” He asked, hearing her seeming to have chosen her word. Going for simplicity as her terms negotiated through his head. Those were big shoes to fill. “But that’s hard 'cause kisses are subjective. You might like one over the other depending on the moment.” He reminded her.

 Spencer “Yeah…” she confirmed, thinking it was probably simple enough, yet not tossing out the others yet, as they would make their own appearances as she sifted through to try them all on.  “Well, John James of South Philly… how well do you know your wife?”  She asked, posing a valid question as she tested him while sitting on top of him.  “This moment, right now, what kind of kiss would make your wife think Scrappy needs to go out?”

 John “A vacuum kiss. Just gotta’ pull the air from her.” He teased as those were never pleasant but he could taunt her with the possibility as she tried out the other phrase. “Alright, alright.” He hummed, suggesting he was settling to the challenge as he watched her. Ready to see what he could do. Fingers slipping under her chin as he leaned in. Lips tenderly brushing over hers, not connecting to her. Letting her anticipate him before all at once, his lips were enveloping her full bottom lip between his own lips.

 Spencer His suggestion of a vacuum kiss was met with a tilt of her head and the return of that pout.  As he succumbed to her arrangement, she felt his fingers beneath her chin, always a favorite of the woman’s.  The moment of feeling his breath on her lips had her leaning in for the kiss, yet restraining herself all at the same time, fighting to give him the freedom to take this kiss in his own path, not to be guided in the slightest by her.  As he closed the slight gap, taking her lower lip within his grasp, she fought the urge to move her hands, still wanting this to be his.  She held firm for only a moment before her upper lip was engaging against his, continuing the restraint of her own hands that desperately wanted to be at his face and neck.  A hum at her lips offered the assurance of satisfaction, though she wasn’t cutting him loose from the challenge quite yet.

 John His fingertips traced down the column of her throat, feeling her holding herself back before she was at his top lip. His head slightly tilting as his lips relinquished the hold at her only to replace it with a slow tug of his teeth. Rejoining with her lips a moment later only for his tongue to sweep the part of her lips. His free hand slipping down her side.

 Spencer Resisting any further was now officially a lost cause.  The right combination of tricks had her right where she had asked to be, proving that he knew his wife as well as she had hoped he did.  The feeling of his hand trailing down her side had her lifting her hands to either side of his face, one slipping behind his neck as she drew herself closer, actively engaging him fully, a reward that he would recognize as a win for him in her little game.  Parting her lips to his, she allowed him the sought out entry, forgoing her normal route of taking the invitation to herself, giving that to him this time.  All the while assuring herself that she’d win next time.

 John Feeling her grow closer yet still giving him the space to further his cause, her parting lips allowing his tongue to gain access to her. Smoothing over her tongue. Humming gently at her taste as his hand stopped at the curve of her hip. Giving her a firm and territorial squeeze.

 Spencer The tilt of her own head matching his, her tongue met by his, immediately drawing any resisting out of her.  A kiss such as this had her body reacting in a way that she had asked for without exactly meaning to.  She had wanted the sensation of love, yet instead she got the sensation of desire based in love.  The squeeze at her hip having her shifting slightly against him, quickly losing herself in the kiss offered by the man at her own challenging.  Passing the threshold of his own mouth, her tongue taking to his taste as he sampled hers, both hands releasing from his flesh, replaced with the brushing of her arms to their place, wrapped around him as she still drew closer while keeping his kiss in motion as set forth by him.

 John Feeling her arms around his neck, still slightly leaning into her kiss to better meet her lips. His thumb brushing over the bone of her hip underneath of her flesh, a particularly sensual patch of skin he often imagined would be especially pressing with a bit of possessive black ink embedded into it. His tongue smoothing over hers before it withdrew. Refusing his lips back to hers the way he had initially.

 Spencer The possessive stroke of his thumb against her hip had her leaning into the kiss more intently by the minute, driven by the stimulation of her flesh just behind the fabric of his own clothes she adorned.  As he withdrew from the confines of her own mouth, she did the same, allowing him to constantly lead this kiss to its conclusion, or at least what she imagined was the conclusion.  When he resumed the meshing of his lips to hers from before, she lowered her head slightly, breaking the kiss as she was on the verge of pushing for a round two that he may or may not be able to handle, all things considered.  As she broke free of the lock that had her on shaky ground, she simply whispered the first thing that came to her mind, solidifying the word she would be using, not that he’d have to follow suit with it, but the one that came most natural to her in that moment.  “Yeahh…” she whispered through the quiet raspy tone as she lifted her eyes to his with a small nod of her head.

 John Feeling her break the kiss, his lips found the corner of her lips down to her chin. Hearing her speak which drew his attention up to her. Not only admitting defeat but getting the phrase it’s place. “Good…” he stated simply in conclusion that he had passed her test. “You know what I was just thinkin’?” He asked rhetorically, thumb still at her hip.

 Spencer His question caught her by surprise as she was still somewhere else entirely and how he could have possibly been thinking during the process of the kiss he just delivered to her was beyond her.  “Hmm?”  She asked, still clearly not entirely there, though entertaining whatever it was this man had on his mind, though hers was still very distracted by the feeling of his thumb at her hip.  “That you want your clothes back?”  She managed, though she was claiming them and he wasn’t getting them.  “Okay, what were you thinking while you were kissing me?  I’d be careful here.”  She warned teasing him as she came back from the state he had taken her to, easing down quite nicely, which was quite a feat in itself.

 John “Yeah, Imma need my shorts or something soon because I want to go hit that soda machine in the lobby but that was not what I was thinking…I could just stroll out their butt naked. Wouldn’t bother me none.” He reminded her, still wasn’t what he was thinking as she warned him, shaking his head as he reached down and guided up her shirt. Waistband of his own boxers on hers pushed down a few inches. “You should get something for me. Right here. Too good of a spot to not have a little ink on…” he confessed, eyes meeting hers.

 Spencer The idea of him walking to the vending vestibule had her shaking her head.  He would go stark naked, though she’d never allow it.  There were more clothes in the bag as far as she was concerned.  This pair of boxers and t-shirt were now officially stolen.  As he guided the shirt up slightly, then lowered the waistband of the boxers, she wasn’t sure where he was going, but soon enough, his thoughts came forth.  She held a slight look of surprise, with the upturn of one corner of her mouth, eventually urging on to the other.  Her eyes glanced down, only to lift back to his again with raised brows.  “And if you could put anything there, what would it be?”  She asked, actually entertaining this idea.

 John “I’m not sure…just…something.” he clarified, showing he wasn’t too far ahead in this thought process but he got it out there. “Be lucky I don’t make you do what my brother did…:” he teased  as his brows lifted, his own older brother wearing the name of his on-and-off girlfriend in large letters across his collarbone next to a lipstick tattoo of the same nature. “Don’t have to be big. Just a little something.” He decided, thumb brushing over that area.

 Spencer Nodding her head, she agreed to what he was asking.  “You want to brand your wife.”  She stated with a playful grin, fingertips tracing against the ink there at his own chest.  “How about this.  You brand me, I brand you.”  She countered, thinking the idea of it sounded intensely territorial and possessive, which they were, and yet romantic in some strange way all at the same time.  “I cannot even believe that I’m agreeing to this…” she paused, shaking her head at herself.  “You kiss me like that, you could probably ask me for a kidney and I’d give it to you.”  An honest statement as he had truly picked just the right time to proposition her for something of this nature that never before would she have entertained.

 John “I do.” He stated at the mention of branding her, he was unashamed. Plus, it did all the more for that image. It wasn’t uncommon for old ladies to wear their status in ink. Feeling her at his chest as she made her counter offer. The mention of her kidney brought him to shake his head. “I don’t need that. Yet.”

 Spencer “You name the time and place and find someone that isn’t going to be asking questions about the scars and I’m there.”  She assured.  John had been the only one to ever see the scars on her skin and she wasn’t all about letting someone else in on the weakest part of herself.  “But… I’m only doing it if you go down on me in the process.” She teased, knowing the feat alone would be quite impossible for her to hold still during, though the idea of it had her eyes lifting and the smirk returning to her lips.  “Can you imagine though?  Think about it.  I’d end up with the most fucked up tat ever.”  

 John “Don’t challenge me.” He reminded her as he never needed much incentive, shaking his head at the mention of scars. They were a private danger and people had much worse than what she was rocking. “We’ll figure something out though…a mutual agreement to satisfy both parties.”

 Spencer His statement to not be challenged had her cutting her eyes at him.  Was it actually possible to attempt such a thing?  Could she go through with it?  Would he allow someone to see her face in a moment like that?  Too many questions and far too tempting, she decided.  She offered a nod as she brought her hand to rest over that one at her hip.  “In the meantime, you need to sleep.”  She stated with a nod of her head, though it would take an act of Congress to get her off of him at this point.  

 John “You need to fuckin’ sleep.” was his rebuttal quickly as he clutched at her hip still, thumb smoothing into her skin once again to feel the underlying strength of her structure. “You’re the one talkin’ crazy.” he reminded her, only a few moments off of trying to sabotage her own tattoo as he laid flat against the bed once again. “Better figure out what you want there, copjawn…before I do it for you.”

 Spencer His statement of her needing to sleep was met with the shake of her head.  She wasn’t sleeping.  Not until he was.  And then maybe she’d sleep.  But the fact was, too much had happened that day.  There was no way she’d be winding down any time soon.  “You’re going to do it for me?”  She asked, her hand returning against his chest, ready to offer the same thing.  “You brand me.  I brand you.  I told you this.  So you put whatever you want wherever you want on me and I’ll do the same to you.”  She stated with a convincing nod of her head.  “Hell, we can go now for all I care.”  She offered, clearly not in her right mind, but going with it since she had said it.  

 John “Ohhh, this is a package deal, is it?” he asked, raising a brow as if he hadn’t intended on this being what she suggested it to be. His hand slipped down the side of her thigh. Finally giving up on that particular patch of skin he had probably rubbed raw by now. Shaking his head at her offer. “You ain’t ready for all of that right now.”

 Spencer “Yes.” She returned, as it was the deal.  Give and take.  Her nod was only backing up her words.  “I’m not ready?”  She asked, cocking her head slightly to the side as she looked down upon him, still dressed in his t-shirt and boxers.  “I mean, I guess I’d have to change, and you’d need some clothes on… yeah.  I like these.  So maybe another day when I don’t have a full evening of sporting your clothes to pull off.”  She teased, feeling that hand against her thigh, finally leaning down against his chest, pressing her lips against his shoulder.  “So what do I need to be ready anyways?  I just have to decide what… and where… I want you branded, right?”

 John “You ain’t ready.” he repeated, the day had been too emotionally deep for her and he could see the exhaustion in her eyes even if she attempted to do otherwise. It wouldn’t be right for him to capitalize on that and he wouldn’t. Hearing her mention liking his clothes, he gave a nod before she was at his shoulder. Hearing her question. “You should at least tell me where you want somethin’ considering I told you…“

 Spencer He was probably right, but she wasn’t saying so.  Her lips continued to trail against his shoulder, moving towards his neck in a very slow fashion.  “Hmm…” she hummed against his flesh, as if she were thinking, yet the smirk against his skin would say otherwise.  “I don’t know… I mean, I’d have to think about that one.  Long.  And Hard.”  She stated with a grin to her lips, telling him in that very moment where she’d brand him without actually saying so.

 John “You ain’t puttin’ a tattoo on my cock.” he quickly spat out as his eyes narrowed at the ceiling considering he couldn’t look at her while she was at his neck. “Nice try though.” he returned honestly as he shook his head at her, hand slipping over her knee before back up the side of her leg.

 Spencer “Hey!  You never said there were boundaries to this!”  She laughed there at his neck, tilting her head slightly upwards to nip at the lower edge of his ear.  “Friend of mine in Dallas, her guy did it.  Has her name down the length and her name’s not as short as mine.”  She stated honestly, tongue tracing the edge she had only moments before nipped at.  “I’d get your wedding band tattooed in place.”  She teased, still not quite being serious about any of this.

 John “I wouldn’t be so proud of that. Your friend’s man sounds like a fucking pussy.” he pointed out honestly, feeling her nipping at his ear as he heard her follow up statement. “You better be nice…you’ll get all kinds of ideas goin’ in my head. You are at my mercy too, y’know…” he reminded has as his hand slipped back up her side.

 Spencer “Yeah… and you already told me where you’d do it.  You changing your mind?”  She asked, her hand moving to his, fingers spreading his apart, attempting to grip that wandering hand of his.  “I’m always at your mercy, and… I like it.”  She confessed, though this would be something permanent, something painful, something that was a true show of commitment between the two.  “You’re asking the girl with no tats to choose what and where she’d tat you… you realize I have no idea.  I think the ring thing though, not half bad.”  She stated, still making an attempt at that hand.

 John “No, I did tell you. I’m just sayin’, you could clue me in.” feeling her at his hand as he heard her mention the fact that she did not have no tattoos on her. Sounding more like she was changing her mind than he was. Nodding lowly, not going to press her on it any further. “Alright, we’ll see.” he stated simply as she gripped his hand. Giving hers a gentle squeeze in return.

 Spencer Finally sitting up from where she had been at his shoulder and neck, looking down on him, trying not to be sentimental as fuck, but she just couldn’t stop it.  “Here.”  She stated as she brought her free hand to rest against his chest, below River’s name.  “I’d put something here.  As close to your heart as I could, just below that sweet boy.”  She stated honestly, finally giving him a true place she’d put a tattoo on him, though the ring thing wasn’t totally out within her mind either.  Against his chest would be her first choice, all jokes aside.  “Should’ve let me tease instead,” she whispered, knowing this was dripping in sappiness, something that she tried to shy away from when possible, as she didn’t know that John really wanted to hear it.

 John Feeling her against his chest and where his son’s name was already tattooed against his muscular build, he watched her. Listening to her mention that he should have let her tease. “Oh, stop.” he stated as he tilted his head at her. “we are little past the point of sappiness considerin’ we are talkin’ about tattoos.” he reminded her honestly as he made a note of the mentioned area.

 Spencer “True,” she nodded, as he was probably right.  They had gone from faking a marriage to falling for one another in their own time to permanently marking one another.  Strides that were hard to even see during the process, but the proof was all around them at this point.  “Can always do the dick one next time.”  She teased, her half-smile painted against her face with the slight scrunch of her nose, a playful tone of voice housing the words.

 John “No tattoos on my dick.” he stated, the edge of finality to his voice as he watched her. “Imma’ need a clear canvas for my future porn career.” he added with a diligent nod, seemingly having thought over this. “For ‘Here Cums Johnny Volumes 1 through 29.’”

 Spencer “John!”  She exclaimed, her hand releasing his as she stood up on the bed over him, promptly plopping down on the bed beside him, arms crossing, head shaking.  The act of Congress to get her to move had finally occurred.  “Porn career, eh?  That your plan for after I die?”  She asked, glaring in his direction, finding no bit of that comical.  “You do that and I’ll go get a stripping job.”  She offered, knowing how he felt about anyone seeing her in anything less than a turtleneck and jeans.

 John Watching her quickly getting up and pulling the brat act, he had to laugh. Shaking his head at the suggestion of after she dies. “who says I’m gonna’ wait til’ then?” he followed up as his arms scooped her up. Pulling her back onto the bed as he slipped ontop of her. “You’re too fuckin’ hot for a stripclub. Save the jobs for the girls with hep c and 3 teeth…” he requested as he pressed a soft kiss to her chest.

 Spencer Already about to move off the bed when he mentioned not waiting until she was dead to start his porn career, she was captured and pulled to her back, trapped beneath him.  His compliment was not enough to pull her from her brat routine.  “You want to be a porn star.”  She accused, a dramatic pout at her lips, feeling him kissing at her flesh within the low dip of his shirt that was too big for her.  “Only fuck me.”  She whispered, her hands coming to either side of his face, attempting to draw his attention to her face.  “Promise me.  No porn career while I’m alive or dead.  Only. Me.”

 John “Porn ‘star’? Nah, that’s like Ron Jeremy and shit like that…” he stated before he felt her at his face, meeting her eyes at her statement. He nodded at the mention of only fucking her. “Well and often.” he seemed to promise in return, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

 Spencer His lips at hers were met with a hum, liking the sound of his promise.  He could draw out the possessive streak in her in a moment’s notice, just as she could within him.  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kept his lips to her own for a moment before she was suddenly turning her head out of the kiss, maintaining brat status for a moment longer.  “Well and often and only me.”  She repeated, adding his terms to hers as she cut her eyes in his direction.  “Or the next audition you hold, don’t be surprised if I’m on the list under a new name.  Watch your head spin.  Just how long do you think it would take for you to get up there, tackle me, and drag me off to find some clothes?”  She teased, the smile slipping through her former brat pose.

 John Feeling he turn out of his kiss, hearing her threat. Meeting her smile but hardly returning it as he tilted her head back to face him so he could access her lips again. Pressing his lips firmly back to hers before returning back up to speak. “I don’t do strippers.”

 Spencer The turn of her head back to his, at his hand no less, had a knowing smirk to her features.  The kiss to her lips all too short, though making quite the statement.  She gave a slight nod of her head as he stated what was what.  “You do cops.”  She reminded him, stealing his lips for her own.  “Correction:  You do A cop.”  Returning to his lips once more, each kiss intensifying in strength.  “Well, and often.”  With the last statement, she didn’t return to his lips, instead offering him that smile at her lips paired with a lift of her eyes and a nod of her head, as if she had it all figured out.  “And you like it.”

 John Hearing her change the plural of cops to singular, he had to smirk as she knew he would catch that. Pressing his lips back to hers as she stole his line as he met her eyes. The confidence that was so rarely there suddenly upon her features which was nothing less than a good thing since they were only playing around. “Mmm…” he hummed, teeth finding his bottom lip thoughtfully. “I think that much is a given.”

 Spencer Watching as he stole his lower lip with the grip of his teeth, she lifted her finger to drag the purchase forward, not allowing him to keep that in front of her, not when she was looking anyways.  “You’re picking up my habits,” she accused, stealing that lip with her own bite, tugging back against him lightly cutting her eyes to his.  Releasing the bite at his lip, she replaced the bite with her lips fully pressed to his, her hand slipping to the back of his neck, careful not to move up into his hair out of fear of irritating the wound from earlier.

 John Hearing her statement, he shook his head. Saying nothing but knowing he did it just to get a rise out of her and showing her how difficult it was to watch all the time as he felt her finger at his lip before her own teeth and her lips. Feeling her against his neck and his hairline as he gave in a gentle breath. “Give you a taste of your own medicine.”

 Spencer “I don’t like my own medicine,” she stated honestly, a bit of the brat side showing through as she drew a pout at her own lower lip, considering drawing it in, but refraining in light of his show a moment before.  “I’d rather taste something else,” she teased with a raised brow for emphasis as she let her eyes fall to his lips and back up to his eyes again.  “Unless… you’re tired and need that sleep I told you that you needed…?”  

 John Hearing her statement, he tilted his head slightly. Still careful to keep the weight off of the cut. “You really are going to kill me today; you know that? Third time is the charm.” he remarked, the first incident of the day counter as she knew his willpower was weak to none when it came to her.

 Spencer A slow nod of her head with that smile in place was her agreement to trying to kill him.  “I’ll go easy on ya?”  She offered, though this meant she’d be parting with his shirt and boxers that she had grown so fond of.  “Or, I could wake you up at five when I get up… let you sleep a few hours, recharge…”  She offered, a compromise that showed she really didn’t want to kill him, though the idea of exhausting him before they went to sleep didn’t sound all that bad in her mind either.

 John Snorting at the notion of her going easy on him about anything, much less this. Clearly finding it quite funny as he heard her other option. “I’ll let you decide this one.” he offered as his hand found the side of her leg once again. “Since you are feelin’ so brave and all today anyway.“

 Spencer “Wanderin’ hands ain’t gonna help save ya, John.”  She stated, her southerner showing as she felt that hand against her leg, drawing her leg up slightly at his touch.  “I have been mighty brave today, but so has someone else in this room,” she mentioned at the notion of the strides made in their relationship that day.  “Brave is hot.”  The smile at her lips and the cut of her eyes nothing less than seductive at this point.  “Kiss me.”  A request from her lips.  She had taken all control in their last go round.  This time, she wanted the man she knew and loved.

 John “Neither is talking to me like that.” he reminded her, catching brief flares of how she had spoken to him. Hearing her mention him bring brave, he shook his head. This confession, feelings shit had never made him feel weaker. This was not bravery in his mind as he heard her statement. Not really needing to be told to do so as he leaned in, hesitating, just so she knew he wasn’t doing it because she told him to. Giving it a few painful seconds, each slow forward not quite making contact until he was pressing his lips deeply to hers.

 Spencer She had been rather bold with him that night.  It didn’t go without notice that he had permitted it and it would not be something that would be overly permitted on a regular basis.  She’d been pushing boundaries left and right, finding that she liked when he exuded his control on her.  He’d created a monster when it came to her, showing her just how painfully amazing it could be to try him in certain aspects, yet this time, he would have his submissive wife who lived to please him in this manner, as she truly did.  The pause as he leaned towards her had her lifting slightly to meet his lips, only to have him standing at pauses, slight progression, yet not giving her what she wanted right away.  In that moment, he set a tone, perhaps without even realizing it.  She was put in her place that quickly, resting her head back as she waited for what he would come to offer her.  As his lips met hers with such depth, she made no effort to get them there any faster, allowing him to take to her lips as he saw fit.  Reacting to his lips at her own, she returned his kiss with the same intensity he offered, tightening that hold of her arms around his neck.

 John Feeling her arms tighten around his neck, his hand slipping up her leg and underneath of the cut of her shirt. Slipping up her side before his palm smoothed over her stomach. Careful of the most recent cut there as he kept under her shirt. Hand pressing over her chest and shamelessly getting himself to 2nd base somewhat quickly. Seeming to agree to her terms of another round wordlessly with just those actions alone as his tongue smoothed over the part of her lips.

 Spencer His wandering hands were dangerous, this would prove no different as he wasted no time finding his way beneath the fabric of his own shirt that she proudly paraded about in not that long before, now already anticipating its removal.  Making no attempt to stop him, truly embodying the idea that her body was completely his in every manner, a fact of guilt at the same time for what she had done to his possession earlier that evening.  The urge to draw her fingers within his hair restrained, though her hold only tightened.  Feeling him at the part of her lips, she smiled, keeping her teeth tightly closed a moment, unable to resist the urge to tease him a bit before her own tongue was passing through that threshold to meet and smooth over his own, a tilt of her head to afford the two greater access.  Her lips fused tightly to his, as if to drink from one another as they so often did, only this time out of sheer desire for the man.

 John Feeling her lips finally part for him as his tongue pushed over hers, feeling her do the same to his own a moment before as he took a deep breath through the kiss. His hand slowly slipping down to the bottom of her shirt where his other hand found the other side to pull the shirt up. Finally moving his lips from her as he was pulling it off of her. “Poor Scrappy…” was all he was able to make out as he tossed the shirt onto the floor. Resealing his lips to hers.

 Spencer As she got that first taste of him, it would last but a moment before he was breaking their kiss to remove his shirt from her body.  Hearing his words, she opened her mouth to speak, but before she could manage a single word his lips were right back at her own.  His kiss was met with a hum at his lips as she drew her leg around his mid-section, her hand taking to his upper arm, finding its way to his bare ass, gripping his flesh tight within her hand, drawing upward as she used this grip to feel him through the thin fabric of his boxers that she wore.  The rekindling of the kiss had her already parting her lips, an invitation for him as she breathed through his lungs.

 John The grip of her ass had him rolling his hips towards her. Feeling the fabric of his own boxers to his bare flesh which was an interesting moment to say the least. His tongue smoothing over hers as his free hand finding the side of her face. Reaching down where he was pulling down at her boxers.

 Spencer The feel of his hand to the side of her face along with the feel of his tongue over hers had her agreeing to absolutely anything he wanted.  Though she had stated before that these clothes were now hers and she’d be donning them the rest of the night, she made quick work of lifting her lower body to allow him to remove the fabric as her hand was remaining firmly against his ass, gripping into his flesh.  The path of her tongue over his was deep, searching over every inch of him as she so often did, unable to get enough of his taste within her.  A taste that was so familiar, yet something she craved from him.  Her hand reaching down to press at the opposite hip, assisting him in removing his own boxers from her body, though steadily pushing her hips upwards into him, needing to feel that pressure against her.

 John Getting those boxers down just as he promised he would, feeling her hips lift as she pushed to him. His own hips grinding forward naturally to hers along with that grip pushing him further against her. His lips slowly breaking from hers as he flashed her a quick smirk. "told you I’d get under these.” He reminded her as he worked them down her legs.

 Spencer Assisting him by drawing her legs up, one at a time, to allow the fabric to be removed from her, she was met with that smirk on his lips as he reminded her of that which she knew.  “I’m letting you under them,” she reminded him back, taking a nip at his lower lip in the process, intentionally propping one ankle against his shoulder as the shorts were removed.  “I’m getting them back after,” she whispered a moment later, letting him know that she wasn’t done donning his clothes for the evening, but merely taking a break from them for the mutual benefit before them.  Finally releasing that grasp at his ass, she drug her nails against his flesh from his ass up his back as far as she could manage, her eyes set on his as she intentionally bit her lower lip looking up at him.

 John “You can have that pair anyway. The elastic is gettin’ all worn out. Wonder whose fault that is…” he asked rhetorically, eyes narrowing on her as his hands found her bare sides. Finally getting her bare again under him before he felt the path of her nails. Teeth gritting as he felt her all the way up his shoulders, giving up a low growl before he spotted that bottom lip. Fingers reaching to draw it out as she so often did to his.

 Spencer “Yours.”  She accused as to whose fault it was that the boxers were worn out.  If he’d just strip when he got home from work, they wouldn’t be worn out.  “Stealing my tricks…?”  She asked as her lip was stolen from the hold she had upon it.  That growl prompting her to drag her nails back down his back to grip into his ass again.  “You want rough?”  She asked, then releasing the tension in her fingers to allow the pads of her fingers to pass softly against the skin she had moments before disrupted.  “Or soft?”  She offered, her eyes slipping from his to take in his lips, only to adjust back up to his eyes as she brought her fingertips gently back down his back again, willing to give him whatever he wanted in that moment.

 John Both hearing and feeling her question, the scratch nearly drawing his breath to hitch giving her exactly what answer she needed as that never needed a question. “What do you think?” He asked curiously as he tilted his head. “You should know who you married well enough by now.”

 Spencer Spencer already knew which way he’d prefer it, though the idea of breaking up the rough with a little bit of soft to make the rougher feel that much more intense seemed to be working with the hitch in his breath so evident.  “Hmm… I don’t know.  I think I want soft.”  She stated, a playful smirk at her lips, giving her away in that moment.  Her fingertips returned against his flesh softly before she was leaning up, her teeth taking hold of his shoulder as her nails dug into his back, drawing down to his sides.  “Or maybe rough,” she added, suddenly releasing her hands from him, returning them to the bed beside him, her head relaxing back against the pillows once more as she looked quite proud of herself.  “I want to see that beast,” she whispered, giving him full control from that moment forth with her loaded request.

 John Feeling her nails digging into him, by now leaving her thin lines in his skin. Never able to quite know what he was going to get out of her as she was quite comfortable with him now and occasionally needed to be shown who was boss as she submitted her hands to him. “Yeah? You don’t want to use your hands?” He asked, brow lifting as he could quite literally make that wish a reality for her. “Damn shame we don’t have your cuffs, we will have to improvise.” He decided as he slipped off of her all together to find something to bind her hairs.

 Spencer “I didn’t…” she began, but he was already up and off of her, in search of something to use as cuffs.  “They’re in the c…” she started to remind him, though immediately closed her mouth as soon as the statement left her mouth, remembering her role here that she had chosen to take.  Her eyes followed him as she propped herself upwards on bent elbows.  The bite at her lower lip to silence herself, though if he looked in that direction, she’d promised herself she’d release it before he caught her.  “Johhhn,” she nearly sang out, taking in the view of his full body selfishly, tilting her head to the side as she resisted the urge to get herself into trouble.  “I need you now,” she complained, her eyes reflecting the desperation there in her voice as she attempted to lure him back to the bed.

 John Hearing her sing his name, he found his shirt. Twisting it as thin as it would go as he eyed her, hearing her mention needing him. “Should have thought about that before you started playin’ with me.” He reminded her, approaching the bed where his hands found her wrists. Guiding her to lay flat where his lips found just above her navel, allowing his tongue to slowly trail up in one patient movement from her stomach up the valley of her chest to her collarbone.

 Spencer There was something about him when he looked like this, taking on this position, which sparked a fire within her.  She’d push, just far enough, before she’d back down completely, bent into submission, loving every last minute of it.  As he brought his hands to her wrists, she laid back without much choice, feeling his tongue against her flesh.  As he moved upward, she lowered her view to watch him, instantly increasing the stimulation by her view of him as she felt him, yet was unable to touch him as for the restraint of his hands at her wrists.  “I like playing with you,” she whispered her confession, though she was rather certain he was on a mission to stop her games for the night at least.  

 John “I noticed…but that’s alright. I can play with you harder.” He seemed to promise, releasing one of her hands to slip the rolled up shirt around her wrist. Grabbing the other, slipping her hands together where he tied the shirt around her wrists. A hard knot. Giving it a pull to assure she wasn’t going anywhere before he pushed her pinned arms above her head.

 Spencer Feeling him release one of her hands, she started to bring it to his skin before it was met with the shirt, bound to her other wrist.  “Inventive,” she stated, feeling him pinning her hands above her head.  Lifting her head up slightly, she found she could only lift to a certain point, yet couldn’t quite make it to contact with his lips.  “Going to hold my hands there the entire time?”  She asked, dampening the pouts of her lips against themselves.  She had told him she needed him, but now that need was going further with him being so close, restraining her, his promising threats.  She was about in overload and he had barely touched her at this point.  

 John “I just might.” He stated at her question as he leaned back over her as he had been, slipping between her legs as he dragged one of them over his hip. Meeting her eyes, only able to be mildly amused as he felt the tension in her body under him when he had done so little. Leaning in, his lips found the column of her throat as his other hand tilted her head back.

 Spencer Already her palms were twitching to feel his flesh beneath them.  As his free hand tilted her head back, she offered no resistance, feeling his lips against her throat.  Her body slightly lifting beneath him at the strength of that leg he had wrapped around him.  A hum at her lips as she drug her lower lip between clenched teeth at that warm brush of his lips against her skin.  “Maybe you should,” she encouraged him, her eyes falling shut as she surrendered to his touch, making no effort to interrupt it.

 John “If I do…it won’t be because you want me to. It’ll be because I want to.” He clarified for her as he had arrived to her jawline. Pressing his lips over her jaw before he found the corner of her mouth. Not quite giving in as he grinded his hips forward. His piece was hard by now as he teased over her. Feeling the moisture leaking from her in that mere proximity.

 Spencer “I’m going to die,” she assured as she felt him there at the corner of her mouth, the hardened pressure at her waiting entrance.  There was something about being with him like this, at his will, there for his pleasure that did it to her every single time.  Though she had been more vocal this time, pushing limits, pushing him, it was all gone now as she was completely at his mercy, broken by his actions into submission.  A natural attempt to turn her head to meet his lips was restrained by the hand that held her head where he had wanted it.  He had managed to fully restrain her without her handcuffs, sending her senses on fire for him.  “Please,” she begged, her lips hungrily awaiting his touch.

 John Hearing her state bluntly that it was all over for her, he shook his head. Lips finding her ear as he nipped at her shell. Voice confessing lowly. “You wish I would let you off that easy.” He teased as he sent his lips back down the side of her neck, still avoiding her lips as he pressed his hips forward. Nearly entering her that time with no help at all but not quite there as his hips went lax between her legs once again. “Please what?”

 Spencer The incessant teasing was met with sighs at her lips.  The feeling of his teeth against her ear, only to then be his lips to her neck, his hips finding that perfect alignment to enter her, she was pushing up against him before he relaxed between her thighs.  Her body temperature rising several degrees with each action, she was being tortured, she was sure of it, begging for him to do something with each sigh.  “Please fuck me.” She finally managed, though it had not been the initial request that would leave her mouth.  Originally, she wanted but a kiss.  But now, because of his own actions, she wanted so much more, evident in the dampness he surely felt against his piece.  A small movement of her wrists, needing to have her hands against him, yet his hand to her restrained wrists did not permit it, a torment of its own.  “John,” she complained, her voice low and raspy, only intensifying by the moment as she reacted to his every teasing touch.

 John Hearing her answer his question, exactly what he had been going for yet it always sounded so much better on her lips than what he imagined. It always did. There was something in the tone of her voice that he could not anticipate. Hearing her complaint, his eyes met hers. Raising a brow as if he did not know what he was doing. “Yeah?” He asked in return, curious of the reaction he’d get as his free hand slipped down and teased the head of his cock more firmly over her.

 Spencer She couldn’t even make comment or return the yeah, though hers would have held a double meaning at this point in time.  The feeling of his cock there at her entrance, teasing at her, building the anticipation to new heights, she squirmed beneath his weight, needing just the smallest shift to impale herself, yet it was beyond her control.  With his hand having vacated holding her head in place, she lifted her head upwards, only to still not be able to capture his lips, leaning back in frustration.  “Fuck, John.”  She complained, her entire body now reacting against her control to his teasing.  “It’s so fucking hot in here,” she complained, turning her head to the side, the only part of her own body she seemed to have full control over.  “I fucking need you.”  Every phrase left her lips with the urgency of the one before intensifying each time.  She knew he was getting what he wanted there, yet there was no possible way for her to pretend he wasn’t getting to her, as every part of her was most literally screaming out for him.

 John Hearing her complaints, her begging. Thinking he might have finally pushed this woman of his to the edge by the time he gave. Glancing down briefly as he guided his cock within her. Watching as he lured the initial few inches of his cock within her. Waiting a moment through the contractions of her body before he roughly forced his hips forward. Pushing the rest of his length into her slick walls, knowing she was more than wet enough for the act as he had firsthand knowledge of this. Giving up a low groan as he did so.

 Spencer Her pleadings had finally amounted to action on John’s part that would satisfy the desire that had welled up within her at his doing.  As he offered her those first few inches, her body was lifting already, meeting him there, begging for all of him, to which she received a small moment later in a forceful thrust forward.  The cry at her lips out of sheer pleasure, not discomfort, as she never felt the need to restrain herself vocally with him.  Her leg around his body tightening as her hands tugged against his hold, a streak of pleasure shooting through her at his hold.  Her walls quickly adjusting to his size, more easily done in this act, as it was not the first time that night she had taken his vast size within her.  A thank you singed her tongue, yet she held it within, finally releasing the tight hold of her leg around his hip, allowing for a rise and fall that she would initiate, though highly restricted.

 John Initially, the sound of her could have been mistaken for something worse but he knew that sound by now. Not to mention the feeling of her leg tightening around him telling him that she felt nothing but pleasure from the act. Feeling the contractions of her walls before she was lifting her own hips from the bed. Impatient and not quite able to wait. He had to shake his head. “Ankle restraints will be next on the list.” He told her lowly yet it wasn’t a complete lie as his hand left her restraint hands, trusting that make-shift bondage to hold her as that hand found her hip. Hips withdrawing as did his piece before he was slamming roughly back into her.

 Spencer His threat was well received as she did not buck against it, as she imaged he would anticipate.  The idea of him restraining her in any way was welcomed, as thus far, she had never been sorry.  As his hand released her own above her head, she committed to the cause to prove that she could behave herself beneath him.  Holding her own hands in place where he left them, refusing to disappoint him in this moment, showing him that she could be trusted to submit, she felt his hand at her hip.  The absence of his piece within her had a gasp at her lips, though she was immediately filled with him once more, her small frame jolting beneath him.  “Promise?”  She asked, showing that she liked the idea offered, though she couldn’t behave enough to keep the bite from her lower lip as she tightened her leg at his hip, drawing her body up to meet his as he slammed within her again.

 John “Promise.” He answered dryly, he’d make it a point to press her for a trip to recover such items. Feeling her body pressing into his as she lifted, making a pace of those deep and hard thrusts. Giving her a few seconds to recover between each before it was back at it. Dedicated to the cause of making walking a living hell for her for at least the next day.

 Spencer His promise was well received, as she would hold him to it.  Nothing was out of bounds for her with him, nor should it ever be thought that it would be.  Their trust in this venue had been explored at every interaction, only growing each time.  With the pause between thrusts, she would take a deep breath, holding it there before he was filling her again.  Each growing deeper within, making contact with the depths within, causing the cry from her lips to emit with each new depth.  Reacting to each with her own matching action, she maintained her hands above her head, though now threaded her fingers together, clenching her hands in her own restraint.  Easily feeling bruises forming at her inner thighs with each forceful lunge he made, the need to touch his skin increasing with each moment.  “I want to touch you,” she confessed in a moment of weakness, her eyes searching his, permission requested though prepared for it to be denied, making no attempt to cross lines drawn by him without expressed permission from him to do so, though she knew once she got said permission, she’d not be able to behave herself properly as she rendered little control over her actions with him buried within her.

 John Knowing without a doubt that he would not be satisfied until he was marking her on some level. Maybe able to show her that he did just fine leaving her with battle scars, she didn’t need to create any of her own. Meeting her eyes at her confession, teeth finding his bottom lip. Finding another rough thrust before he was speaking. “You going to be good if I let you have your hands back?” He asked, raising a brow. She knew what that meant. Playing by his rules, no teasing. It might have seemed lenient but even this action brought with it its own form of specific rules.

 Spencer His question was loaded.  She had gotten herself into trouble in the first place by playing soft and rough with him, though now, she didn’t want to play.  She wanted to feed into the rough that he set forth as the pace.  If she was to agree to the terms, it would be with the understanding that he would leave this bed with fresh marks upon his flesh as well as she simply could not restrain herself.  “I’m going to be very, very bad with them.”  She promised, a light just behind her eyes as she nodded her head, promising to match his strength if he would allow her to do so.

 John Meeting her eyes at her promise, hoping by now she knew the terms and how bad punishment would be 2nd time around as his hips stalled. Reaching up where he untied her wrists and tossed the shirt. “Let’s see it then.” He seemed to challenge as his lips found hers.

 Spencer As the shirt was released from around her wrists, she paused, not immediately bringing her hands to touch him, though it had been her request, instead giving herself that moment of pause to make the definitive decision not to play with him.  As his lips finally met hers, it was then that she would make that first contact, her hands taking either side of his face, aiding in the pressure of a kiss that she had longed for too long for.  As the kiss lingered on, she brought one hand to his upper shoulder, her touch seemingly soft before her nails were at his flesh, inching slowly down, inflicting as much pain upon him in that moment as she possibly could.

 John Feeling her nails embedded into his flesh, his breath hitching in both pain and immense pleasure as he lips lifted from hers just to allow that breath. Reacting quickly to it as his hand found her hip. Sharply pushing his hips forward and right back against her just as he had been a moment before unleashing those hands of hers.

 Spencer The feeling of his lips leaving hers would normally be met with some form of dismay, but for the reaction to her nails on his flesh, it was well worth it.  Her eyes flashed open to watch him as his hand gripped at her hip once more, a move that she knew would soon be followed just as it was with the jolt of his body forward, sinking deep within her again.  This time she was not without retribution, able to stop the dragging motion of her nails to sink them in against his upper arm as her other hand found his other arm, doing just the same as she held that deep hold at his flesh.  With nowhere to ease her body down to, instead, she lifted, intensifying the depth as a slight tremble met her body beneath him.  Releasing that hold at his upper arms, her hands found his chest, pushing back against him slightly, as if to give her room, yet she was surely up to no good.

 John Feeling her at his arms before at his chest, pushing against him though he wasn’t sure what she was after. Not giving as his hips angled forward once again even as she did this. The burn of her nails radiating pleasantly through him, not regretting letting her hands go for a minute though time would still tell whether he’d come to regret that decision.

 Spencer The push at his chest afforded her no favors as he stayed at the course, not allowing her prodding to budge him in the slightest.  The next drive had her hands weakened, resting at his chest as she slipped the leg from around him, keeping it bent so that her foot could rest against the bed, giving her leverage to fully push up against him, a reaction of her incessant need for more depth, even if it did come paired with a cry at her lips.  Both hands falling to his sides, making their way to his back, a place she would show no mercy with her nails against his flesh with each thrust he drove into her.  A place she had toyed with, and gotten herself restrained, this time she would not have the ability to play as the pleasure-filled pain of his depth radiated through her, the same desire to inflict ran through her veins as her nails came to rest against his flesh, in waiting, threatening with the slightest amount of pressure at the tips.

 John Feeling her hands weaken, he’d her on top when he was good and ready. Feeling her hands at his sides and back. Those nails of hers on standby as he felt the push of her hips up under him. Rocking into her where his hips circled once he has sheathed within her. Driving at an angle to stimulate the depths of her.

 Spencer The circular motion of his hips had her at a weakness that he was all too aware of.  “John… fuck…” she complained, having no ability once that motion had begun.  She was done for every single time and he damn well knew it.  Her nails dug deep within his flesh as she felt her muscles begin to tighten, the first sign of rushing towards a release that she was not ready for.  The continual whine there at her lips as she leaned forward, her lips to his shoulder as she gripped into him with the hold at his back, clinging to him, though it did not ease the rotation of his hips.  “Damn you,” she whined, her teeth finding his flesh, biting down at him just as hard as her jaw would allow, unable to withstand this stroke within her depths.

 John Hearing her damn him and her teeth find his skin, breath catching once again from that mere action as he refused to stop rotating his hips against her. Knowing he had her close and feeling the tremors of her from within as his hand slipped up. Brushing through her hair, pulling against it. Not hard enough to pull her head but just to provide her with the shred of pain induced pleasure that was scorching through him.

 Spencer His refusal to come off of the rotation of his hips was expected.  He was relentless when she was close, yet she never could quite play it off as not being close when she was.  She was transparent to him in most every way, especially in matters of the flesh.  The sweeping of her hair reminded her of something softer between them, yet the tug there shot sensations of pain through her in the most pleasure filled manner possible.  It was enough to drag her teeth from his flesh for the gasp at her lips at just how much it heightened the sensation of the edge she was now surging past.  Her walls tensing tightly only to give into the pulsating that would with it bring her release against his cock buried deep within her.  Her hold on him increasing tenfold as she surrendered to the feeling rushing over her at that godforsaken stroke of his.

 John Feeling her walls seeming to collapse around him as she came for him. Still striking the furthest depths of her walls to assure she was cumming for him as his fingers remained in her hair. Luring her head back where his lips found her neck. Leaving possessive bite marks and hickies in his wake.

 Spencer The tightening of his hand within her hair had her lifting her chin at the prompting as he continued at that stroke that pushed her over every time.  As the inner contracting walls slowed, but did not completely cease, she felt his teeth and lips at her neck, surely marking at her flesh in areas that would not be so easy to hide as they had always been before, yet she held no willpower to stop him.  The sensation working to keep her in the heightened state a bit longer than usual before she was stilling beneath him, her thighs aching as she attempted to again push upwards against him, each maneuver proof that she would not be walking any time soon.  Her breath erratic, struggling to regain her composure from her own release as she searched within her for strength to get him to the same place he had taken her to.

 John His hips finally slowed and stalled as he felt her weakening underneath of him. Proud to be able to bring her to that point as his hips were stalling all together between her legs. Lifting up on his knees where he spotted the already darkening spots to her neck. Her need to hide them not even remotely on his mind as he reached up. Wiping a thick of sweat from his brow. “You alive in there?” He teased, fingers prodding her side.

 Spencer “Yeah…” she whispered in response to his question, a nod there of her head as she opened her eyes to meet his, finding him to be what seemed so far away.  “You left,” she accused, her hands moving to find his thighs, slowly sitting up so that she could better reach to touch him, though it amounted to her resting her head against his chest, taking in those slow deep breaths that would have her soon returning to him fully.  “You okay?”  She asked, knowing they were walking a fine line of him overexerting himself at this point, given the gash upon his head from just a few hours before.  Her small hand slipped over from his thigh, taking his piece in her grasp, stroking lightly against him.

 John “Never better.” He promised, a bit out of breath but still alright as he felt her against his chest, arms slipping around her as he felt her at his cock. Breathing out a deep breath. So sensitive to her at this point. “You want on top?” He asked, having noted her ignored push at his chest.

 Spencer Keeping her hand against his cock, a firm hold, yet lax enough that she could pass him through her palm to properly stimulate him clear base to tip.  His question had her puzzled for a moment, but then she recalled the push to his chest that would have him thinking that.  “Actually, was going for something else at that moment,” she confessed, though there was no way she could handle that at this point in time.  She drew up to her own knees, kneeling before him kneeling before her.  Her hand remaining at his piece as her free hand came to rest against the side of his face, drawing his lips to her own.  Her kiss was soft, as were all of her actions at this point.  Enough to keep him aroused without pushing him over the edge.  Speaking against his lips, she whispered, “The question is, do /you/ want me on top?”  A reminder to him that he was in charge of this.  She had submitted fully for the entire duration and it was truly his call as to what it was that he wanted most.  His wish was of the highest priority to her as she looked a lot more like his wife and a lot less like the woman he’d been dealing with the past twenty-four hours.

 John “Now you have to tell me…” he reminded her as she confessed to going for something else. Feeling her slipping up to kneel against him. His hands passing down the backs of her thighs as his lips pressed back to hers. Feeling that stimulation leaving him without that throbbing absence. Hearing her question, he hummed at the thought. “Maybe after you tell me what you had in mind.”

 Spencer “I needed… a little room,” she confessed, as at that point, their bodies were mostly in contact, preventing her from making an alteration, though in hindsight, it probably wasn’t her place to do so, yet the mood had struck her in that moment, wanting to give him more depth and having just the way to do so.  Having sex and talking about sex were two different things for her.  Being able to just say what she was attempting, it sounded so much different in her mind now than it had when she was pushing for it before in the heat of things.  She stole his lips again, drawing his confidence to say what she knew he wanted to hear from her, that which she was attempting.  “Was trying… to give you more…” she confessed, pausing before she would be so bold as to say what she had in mind then.  “I was going to bring one leg up around your neck.”  She stated in that low whisper, full of rasp, as she confessed the full truth.  “For depth,” she finished, as if he needed her to tell him what it would have provided, though he seemed to always do just fine getting his length firmly inside of her.  

 John Smirking as her true confession came out, a far draw from the furrow of his brows she was causing before. “And I missed that. Goddammit.” He hummed as his hands passed up her sides. “Thought you were just pushing at me. You do that sometimes.” He confessed, as his mouth found hers once again. “Maybe next time I’ll be lucky enough to take the hint. Until next time…decisions, decisions.”

 Spencer “I do?”  She asked as he accused her of pushing at him sometimes.  She wasn’t sure what she was doing half the time when he was inside of her as she truly lost all control over her body when he was at his finest.  Ceasing that stroking motion at his piece as to force him into making a decision as the stimulation came to a halt.  She brought her arms up around his neck, meeting his lips there again as he offered them, finding an almost endless kiss that only broke momentarily for the exchange of words, right back at it again.  “Tell me what you want, or better yet, show me,” she pleaded, nipping at his lower lip, giving him the incentive to make a decision.  She’d done her fair share of crying out due to him and that godforsaken stroke.  It was now about getting him to do the same.

 John “Deal…on your stomach.” He stated without hesitation as she tossed it back to him. Not wanting to lose control of her. Very much wanting to retain it as his hands found her hips. The necessarily push of pressure to guide her over. “Not that I don’t like lookin’ at this beautiful face of yours or anything…” he paused, a kiss at her cheek. Just sometimes the mood called for something that allowed his primal urges and domineering instincts to take over completely.

 Spencer With his request so quick to come forth, she had a nod at her head as she turned, feeling his hands there guiding her, just as she had asked for.  There was something about relinquishing all control to him that felt like relief to her, yet allowed him the freedom to express every ounce of masculinity he possessed.  As his kiss met her cheek, she glanced over her shoulder, giving him a knowing smile.  She never took any offense when he put her to her stomach, knowing that would be where he would find the greatest force.  In the act of turning over, she knew this was now officially her funeral.  She lost her hands and her lips in this, left at his complete mercy, no cuffs needed, in a position that would have her craving the closeness the moment they were through.  With a bite there at her lower lip, she lowered her forehead against the bedding, her hands already reaching over her head to shield her head from the headboard, preparing as she knew just how strong he could be.

 John Watching her turn over for him, his hand quickly and firmly finding her ass. Smacking his palm of her ass as she was seeming to get comfortable. His lips finding the back of her shoulder as he pressed his knees between her legs. Hand finding his cock as he properly positioned himself to the back of her. Having no real ambition or game plan here but letting her anticipate it anyway.

 Spencer The smack at her ass was anticipated.  She was braced for it, yet the yelp at her lips would still come forth as she didn’t know exactly when to expect his large palm to make that contact where her flesh would redden at his touch, her knees easily separating for him to take that position behind her.  Feeling him at her entrance, she was unknowingly pressing back for that contact, her body reacting to the proximity, even if he wasn’t pushing forward yet.  The feel of his lips at her shoulder had her arching her back, a whine at her lips as she prepared for that sudden thrust he had hit her with before, though unknowing if he would take the same route from the new angle.

 John Guiding his cock within her, giving up a low growl as he pressed his head to the back of her shoulder. Pressing her forehead to her as he guided his length deep within her. Giving up a low groan at the feeling if being back within her again as his hips circled. Just a brief reminder of what he was capable of.

 Spencer Proving she should anticipate to know nothing from him when it came to this, he guided within her at a pace she was not expecting.  She felt his forehead at her shoulder, bringing her to lean her own head to the side, pressing her cheek to the top of his head as he took this slower approach.  She both heard and felt his groan against her flesh, rumbling through her, as he began that fucking circular motion again that would have her pushing back against him.  A whine at her lips as he went straight for the thing that would have her coming unglued again in no time.  “John…” she complained, her hand reaching back to grip at his thigh, her nails finding their way against his flesh again.  

 John Hearing her complaint as he felt her at his thigh, he had to smirk lowly at how well this always worked. His head lifting as his lips found the bruised side of her neck, not telling her how bad it was. She’d find out herself having left her own marks on his back and shoulders as he allowed her a break as his hips rocked before returning to a stable and building thrust pattern.

 Spencer A mental note to ban that rotation of his hips made.  As he shifted the thrust to something more sustainable for her, she was both pleased and relieved all at the same time.  Her nails released their hold at his thigh, feeling his lips at her neck, far more sensitive than usual, though she just imagined her entire body was at this point in time.  Each rock of his hips was met with an equal rock of her own, creating a motion between the two of them that would prove to be mutually beneficial, as most everything they ever entered into was.  Their scent had previously filled the room, now only to increase as they returned to one another, the sound of their bodies lingering in the general vicinity.  Drawing her hand upward, she pressed both palms against the headboard of the bed, mounted against the wall, that edge at the bottom of the wood posing far too dangerous.  Her fingers curled beneath it, shielding potential impact as his thrusts built.  Her lips craving his, she satisfied with a severe bite at her lower lip, damage threatened with each push of her hips backwards.  The depth of this angle always bringing her to tremble beneath him, working with and against him all at the same time.  His name finding its way to her lips on multiple occasions, mixed with the sounds of her whines muffled by the bedding just beneath her face.  

 John Spotting what her hands were covering as he rocked forward, reaching up and using his own hand to help her. Figuring he could at least help her with this much as he rocked harder into her. That angled thrust bringing him to euphoria. Hearing her muffled sounds as his free hand remained at her hip. Teeth finding his own bottom lip as his body filled the arch of her back.

 Spencer The stronger thrust forward had her stiffening her arms at the headboard, only to find his hand there just above hers, feeling his hand at her hip, assurances that her head would come nowhere near that rough edge at the lower edge of the headboard.  The thought alone of how he would protect her proving the sentiments shared previously, shown in his own way.  She released one hand from the headboard, bringing it to rest at the side of his face as he was now close enough to touch as he filled the curve of her body with his own, the two fitting together in ways that were remarkable.  Her hand slipped from the side of his face, beneath her own body, finding his hand at her opposite hip as she crossed her arm across her mid-section, linking her fingers there with his, dragging his arm across her body as she lifted her upper body against him, attempting to shift him upwards and bring her with him, if he would lift them both and allow her to ride him from the reversed angle, though unable to pull it off on her own.

 John Keeping his hand to that corner to free up her own hands, feeling her slip under him. Thinking for a moment that she was venturing to touch herself but glad to feel she was just at his arm. Allowing her to do what she was after and lift up. Leaning up himself as he gave her what she was after. His arm tightening around her as his hand slipped down. Finding the spot he thought she’d be trying to touch herself as his fingers teased over the bud of her clit.

 Spencer Her knees now at the bedding with his just behind, her calves pressed closely to his own.  She felt the tension in his arm around her, allowing him to maintain control as she wished.  What she didn’t expect was his free hand to find passage to her clit.  That immediate touch had her gasping, as her goal here had been his benefit, only to find he had one for her in return.  She brought one arm up behind her to wrap around his neck, turning her head to find his lips with her own as she attempted to block out that stimulation he was providing, needing to put all of her remaining energy into the rise and fall she would offer him, using all of her strength to lift upwards, allowing gravity to assist in the deeper penetration of her fall.  Her whines were now echoed through his mouth where she was straining to meet his lips, her body completely dependent and reliant on his hold.

 John He felt the dedication in each push of her hips backwards and it was strongly appreciated. Yet, he couldn’t be expected to cum without getting her there himself. It might have been for her benefit or it might have even been selfish since his own orgasms were 10 fold when she was cumming within him. Still, he wasn’t going down without a fight while he felt his own climax resonating and knowing she would be uncovering it in no time with those steady rocks of her hips. Feeling her at his neck before his lips were pressing back to hers. Tasting each moan.

 Spencer The overextended stretch of her body to maintain that kiss at his lips had her losing the ability to block out the action of his hand against her.  Her whines were quickly converting to moans, her fingertips exchanged for nails at the back of his neck where she held onto him as tightly as she could, though her abdomen trembled beneath his forearm.  Losing her strength, she was keeping that rock of her hips against him as strongly as she could, though succumbing to every other form of stimulation offered.  “Fuck, I’m gonna…” she warned, almost permission requested, though she had never needed it before, fully encompassing the position of submission in this moment.  “May I?” she asked, the first time the words would ever pass her lips, nearly begging him to tell her to cum for him as she gripped at the metaphoric edge that would have her completely weak in his arms within seconds unless he wanted her to hold off, a torture she wasn’t sure she could withstand.

 John Hearing her ask permission, it made him smirk softly. Very much liking her asking permission, liking the thought behind it and the way it left her lips as he felt her at his his lips. Taking a slow moment to answer just to let her wait it out before his lips found her ear. Nodding his head. “You may…” he stated, the hitch of his own breath telling her that he was going to cum himself with her as his free arm around her assured she remained pressing to him as his free hand teased against her clit from between her legs at the pace of her rocking body.

 Spencer In the moments he made her wait for that answer, she felt as if they lasted an eternity, but asking for permission meant being willing to wait until she was granted such, which she did, as torturing as it was for those seconds of pause at his lips.  The manner in which he gave her permission sending chills throughout her body as she shifted her own rise and fall to be replaced with a true grind against him, rotating her own hips to create that which he did for her a million times before.  The hold of his arm across her mid-section giving the feeling of intense closeness as she could feel his breath at the curve of her neck as his other hand continually teased at her.  The tremble of her stomach echoed throughout the rest of her body as everything within her was tense, holding out until his words permitted that release that would come almost instantaneously after.  The urge to lunge forward was kept at bay with the hold around his neck, instead leaning back into him as she curled her hips in those circular motions whist her inner walls contracted tightly around him, sending forth the warm rush of fluids to surround and make way down the length of his cock buried deep within her.  Her breathing mimicking those pulses within her, her chest rising and falling in unison as his name fell from her lips, her face pressing to the side of his.

 John Feeling her face pressing into the side of his own as she came, the warmth of her eclipsing around him. Even if he wanted to hold off, it would prove to be an impossible task as he gave his own hips a short pump forward. Unable to help himself as she grinds to him and he sent the warmth of his cum deep within her. Giving up a low growl as he did so, emptying within her without hesitation or delay as he always did. Winded as he turned his head. Meeting her own lips briefly before the need for oxygen would eclipse them both.

 Spencer Her lips met his for a fleeting moment, a show of needing that moment though her lungs were still gasping for air.  She’d gladly give up that breath if only to brush her lips to his for another moment longer.  Though each circle of her hips had her taking in another deep breath, she continued that rhythm, needing to be sure she had seen him all the way through as he always did for her.  Once she was sure, she slowed the pace to a complete stop, though she made no effort to pull from him as the close proximity was just too good to be given up.  As her hips stilled, her body fell weak against his chest, leaning back against him, depending on his hold as she had throughout.  “Fuck…” she offered as the only word she could seem to make sense of in that moment as it truly expressed everything she felt within.

 John Hearing her simple word that stood for an entire statement, always notching that one up as a good job when he could get that out of her as both of his arms tightened around her. Supporting her weight back to him as he exhaled a slow breath. Finding his own breathing pattern in a few moments time as his chest moved to her back. Exhaling a low breath before he leaned his chin to her shoulder.

 Spencer With his other arm coming around her, she knew he’d not let her fall over, though if left to her own devices, she surely would have.  As his chin came to her shoulder, she slipped her hand from behind his neck, finally coming to rest at the side of his face.  “I love you,” she whispered, knowing they had agreed upon a code word, but unable to hold the sentiment from him in the moment, not expecting him to return it, but the word coming through before she could even attempt to stop it.  As her eyes closed, she slowly lifted, allowing his piece to slip from within her, a motion that would have a gasp at her lips at the sudden emptiness.  

 John Hearing her statement, he nodded. Acknowledging it, hearing it. She already knew his opinions on this but the nod had to count for something as he watched her. Arms loosening around her, smirking softly at that gasp as she slipped off of him. Allowing his arms to pull from her so she could get comfortable away from him.

 Spencer Feeling the nod of his head, she understood and appreciated what he did there for her.  As his arms loosened around her, she eased forward a bit, only to turn around to face him.  Her hands instantly taking to either side of his face, her lips pressing to his softly as she slipped her arms around his neck.  The last thing she wanted was to be away from him in that moment, given their positions not affording the closeness she craved, yet always worth it.  Tugging against the back of his neck, she made the effort to lean back, attempting to bring him with her, though not willing to break her lips free of his quite yet.

 John Leaning into her to help her back onto the bed, feeling her meet the bed underneath of her as he leaned into the side of her. Still able to crane over to meet her lips as his hand idly smoothed over her stomach. Merely keeping in contact with her as his lips slowly left hers. Finding the corner of her lips and down her jawline as he found the side of her neck.

 Spencer Laid back on the bed to feel him to the side of her, she simply didn’t have it in her to curl into him as she usually would have.  Allowing him to engage in whatever manner he wanted within the moment, she felt his lips slipping from hers.  His hand slipping over her abdomen, she kept her eyes closed, just enjoying his touch until the moment his lips made contact with the side of her neck.  The slightest touch had her flinching beneath his lips.  “How bad is it?”  She asked, already able to tell to some degree from the tenderness beneath just the touch of his lips.  

 John Hearing her question, it took him a moment to figure out what she was talking about before he realized. Her neck. Pulling his face from her neck, he watched her for a moment before glancing over the bruises. “On a scale of 1 to 10?” he asked, reexamining the marks, narrowing his eyes before back at her. “Maybe a 7 and a half? 8? Maybe?”

 Spencer “Probably a good thing I’m off tomorrow then?”  She asked with a tired grin as she finally made that turn into him, her hand finding his chest, quite amazed at just what had transpired between them, even if it should come as no surprise by this point.  “So on a scale of 1-10, just how tired are you?”  She asked, knowing the evening had been hell, though glad it had ended on such a note with the two of them where they belonged, together, even if it wasn’t in their apartment, but clearly having a reason for asking the question.

 John “Going to take more than a day for those to clear up. Better take some iron otherwise…You got enough teeth marks in you right now to identify my dental records.” Laying onto his side as he let his arm slip over her waist. Feeling her pushing into him, hearing her question. Giving up a groan upon the question as he knew what that meant when she asked yet he wasn’t sure exactly what she was after. “9 and a half.” he reasoned as his eyes were already closing. “Why?”

 Spencer She gave up a laugh at his statement of identifying him with dental records upon her neck.  She could only imagine just how bad it was based on that statement alone.  Feeling him draw into her, she slipped her hand from his chest to the back of his upper arm, her lips stealing a pass at his as his eyes closed.  “No reason,” she whispered as her hand slipped from his arm to wipe the sweat away at his temple.  He had more than earned the sleep and she wouldn’t be disturbing that.  “Sleep,” she offered, pressing another kiss to his lips before she was resting her head against his upper arm beneath her.

 John Hearing her answer, he grunted under his breath. Knowing that to be a lie but not quite having the energy to argue with her. The need to sleep crept up fast and in a matter of moments of peace, he was drifting off. Falling asleep there against his side with the pillow stuffed under his head. Finally using the bed for what it was intended to be used for.

 Spencer Almost always falling asleep before him, this would serve as potentially the first time she could just simply lay there and watch him sleep.  It was like a different beast entirely.  She’d slept beside him a million times, yet not ever really taken the moment to just enjoy looking at the man beside her.  As he drifted off, she stayed awake for a long while, just watching him before she was managing to pull a blanket up over the both of them, which was Scrappy’s okay to hop back up onto the bed.  As he joined them, Spence finally fell asleep in the midst of just taking in the view of her husband asleep at her side.

 John Drifting off and not disturbed in the least as she moved or the movement of the dog inevitably trying to wedge a canal between them for him to sleep and share the body warmth. Only seeming to fall to sleep deeper in that moment as he slept off his exhaustion. Not only the events there in the hotel but the time before and even the day he had at the club.

I rinsed my face before going back into my bedroom. I had just woken up and Honey was laying in my bed watching TV.

"Can I talk to you?" She had her head sitting on the palm of her hand, her long fingernails touching her lips.

"What's up?" I sat next to her, checking the notifications on my phone.

"I wanna know what happened to us."

I wrinkled my eyebrows and looked at her, "Us?"

"Yes. We were so good together when I first started working for you. You were so affectionate towards me. What happened?"

"Things change."

"I miss that."

"Oh, really?"

"Yea.. I actually felt appreciated during those days. Now you just.... use me. Just like you use Luna."

"I don't use Luna," I continued to scroll.

"So you admit to using me..?"

I quickly turned my face to hers, "Honey. I don't use either of you. Okay? I told you what we were from the beginning. Friends with benefits."

"Yea.. are you friends with benefits with Selena?"

"Why is that so important to you?"

"Cause.. I wanna know how close she is to the man I care for."

"I don't know what me and her are."

"But you guys are... something?"

"Yea. But there's something I want to tell you," I sighed.

"What is it?" She began to play with her fingers.

"I think we should chill out for a while. You're catching too much feelings and I don't know if I can deal with that. Maybe you should try fucking a new nigga."

Her face was in a frown that looked like she was ready to burst into tears at any second, "But why? Drake, at one point you cared for me. Why is me caring for you big deal?"

"It's too much, Honey."

"You know what? Stop," her voice got stern, "Because you give me this same ass speech once a month and you come back when you need your god damned dick sucked."

I laughed dryly, "You know what? You're right. And that's because you smother me with that feelings shit. You know that's not what I want."

"It used to be what you wanted, Aubrey!"

"Don't fuckin' call me Aubrey," I narrowed my eyes at her, "Clearly, I stopped wanting that over a year ago. And you don't get it, Honey. I just want sex, okay sweetheart? I don't love you. I don't need you, nor do I want you. And you are correct. I do come back when I want my dick sucked. Cause you're the only stupid bitch to do it."

Her eyes glared at me before I felt the sting of her hand across my face. "Fuck you."

She tried to get up, but I tightly grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down.

I gripped her arm, dragging her to where my lips met her ear, "Are you fuckin' crazy?"

She tried to wiggle her arm free, but my grip was stronger than she thought. She winced in pain, "You just like to treat every female like shit because your girl left you for a bitch. Shows how much of a man you are, doesn't it?"

I don't know what took over me, but I ended up pulling her to the floor, "Kneel. Now," my lips were between my teeth.

All that bravery she had was now gone. She did as she was told. Her eyes were looking down at the ground, "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I don't give a fuck. Take your bra off."

She followed direction. And well.

I looked at her, and I could feel myself stiffening up, "Pull my sweats down a little, and take it out."

Her acrylic nails felt cool on my skin as she pulled my sweats down. She pulled my length out of the hole of my boxers. Her hands stroked softly, causing my length to harden and heighten.

"Kiss the tip a few times, not too much."

I didn't really care about any of this. I just wanted her to remember who's in charge here. And from the way she's not getting out of character, she definitely knows. I don't even care to get a nut off of this. I just wanted her to know.

She did as I told her to do.

"Now put it all in your mouth. All of it."

She held onto my shaft, pushing myself into her mouth. She then placed her hands on my sides, as she went all the way down.

I smirked, "You are not to move till I tell you to."

She gagged on me, making my smirk grow larger.

"Now do you taste how much of a man I am, bitch?"

She tried her hardest to nod.

"Good. Now get off of me."

She lifted her head from off of me, followed by coughs. She wiped her lips.

I put my length back into my boxers and back into my sweats.

She got up and quietly started to get dressed. No words were spoken as I was texting, having a conversion with Selena, and she was fixing her hair.

She grabbed her bag, "Am I fired?" She said lowly.

"No." I didn't look at her.

She left my room, and let herself out of my house. I soon went after her, to lock the doors.

-

Selena:

I was at my mother's house, roller setting her hair for her.

She picked up the comb and took out all the hair that was tangled in it.

"Selena, do you see this?"

I secured this roller with two pins, "Yes, ma," I grabbed the comb from her to part another section in her hair, "And it's normal to have hair come out when you comb it. You lose 100 strands a day."

"Bullshit, Selena, this is more than a hundred strands. Everytime I touch my damn head two strands fall out."

"But you still have a beautiful head of hair. Okay?"

"Yea, yea. I was thinking of just letting my hair go all grey."

"You should. It would look beautiful."

"Or should I just go all black like you?"

"Well. I mean if that's what you want. I personally like the grey."

I saw her smile in the mirror, "You're such a sweet girl... tell me why you haven't found a boyfriend yet."

I smiled, "Remember my boss I was telling you about?"

"The one who was doing the nasties with your coworker?"

I giggled, "Yes... him."

She frowned a little, "You're not with him are you?"

"We have a little thing going on."

"Is he still with that coworker?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Well you better not give him any cuca till he gets rid of her and he asks you out."

"He asked me out to lunch like last week. He paid for everything, he's really sweet ma."

She gasped, "And you didn't tell me about this?!"

I giggled, "He kissed me."

I felt like a 14 year old girl telling her mom about her first date. I didn't tell my mom everything. I knew she wouldn't approve of everything me and him did.

She raised an eyebrow, "He's probably been licking up every girl's cuca in town and he kissed you?"

I laughed loudly, finishing up my last roller. My conversations with her were always funny. She never held anything back because I was her daughter. She told me the straight truth.

"Mom, I doubt he does that with anybody," I tried to refrain from laughing. But he did it to me, I thought.

"And how are you so sure?"

"Cause guys like him worry about their own pleasure. Not the girl's."

She turned around, this time raising both her eyebrows, "In that case you don't need him. You don't need a man who's not gonna enjoy making you feel good."

I wish I could tell her the truth, cause he loved to make me feel good. But for some reason he treated me better than other girls. At least that's what it seemed like to me.

"You're right, ma," I said simply to try and end the conversation.

I walked to the dryer and turned it on as she went under it.

"Selena, can you give me my magazine from the kitchen counter?"

"Okay, hold on," I walked to the kitchen to get the magazines.

After I got them, I gave them to her then sat down on the couch, in the living room. I was texting Wynter and Drake.

Me and Wynter became pretty cool friends. We texted each other all the time and even though I didn't tell her much about me private life, she trusted me knowing certain details of hers.

Wynter: Girl, I'm super stressed.

Selena: What's going on?

Wynter: My period is late 😒😒

Selena: Omg. Really? So you think you're...?

Wynter: Yes... the thing is I was on the birth control shot. I forgot to take my second dose of it, and.. yea.

Selena: Did you tell your fiance?

Wynter: No... I'm thinking of so many ways to tell him and it's stressful.

Selena: Tell him when you guys are in bed together... when you guys are being affectionate and stuff.

Wynter has showed me a photo of her fiance before. His name was Chris. He had light brown, tan skin, covered in tattoos, and a nose piercing. Not the type of man I'd marry, but to each his own, I guess.

Wynter: That's a good idea but what if he doesn't want it? Girl, that will crush me.

Selena: Well, he did propose to you. Meaning he's planning to marry you, meaning I'm sure he'd want a family with you. You guys never discussed having a family?

Wynter: Well, not really.

Selena: It's nice to take a chance. You could take a test before you tell him, if you want to be sure.

Wynter: No, I want us to look at the results together.

Selena: Well, then there you go 😊

Wynter: Okay, girl I'm gonna talk to you later. He just came home.

Selena: See you tonight.

I was wondering why Drake didn't text me back when his name popped up in my texts. I smiled.

Drake: Sorry about the late reply. I was busy.

Selena: It's okay. How are you feeling today?

Drake: Fine... why?

Selena: Just want to make sure you're feeling okay. That's all.

Drake: 😘 I'm just waiting on you to buy your wedding dress so it can be official.

Selena: lmao stop it.

Drake: why?

Selena: Cause you don't mean it.

Drake: One day I might.

Selena: Do you tell all your girls that?

Drake: You're the only girl I talk to.

I raised an eyebrow.

Selena: ..Honey???

Drake: Who?

Selena: Lmfao stop playing. I'm being serious right now.

Drake: I stopped messing around with Honey. Like I let her know I didn't want to fuck with her anymore.

I smiled. Did he leave her for me?

Selena: Did she quit?

I was hoping she did.

Drake: Na. We'll still be seeing her tonight.

Selena: Well. I can't wait to see you tonight, btw.

Drake: Come see me in my office before you go to your locker room, okay?

Selena: Okay, papi.

Drake: Papi? I like that.

Selena: Do you really?

Drake: I do.

Selena: Well I have to do my hair and then after that, finish my mom's hair. So I'll see you at 8:30 maybe?

Drake: I'll be looking forward to it.

I smiled at the text and put my phone down. I walked into the bathroom and took my curly hair out of the high ponytail it was in, as I got ready to wash it.

I tucked my freshly straightened hair behind my ear, as I walked into the club. I knocked on his office door, and Ryan opened the door. Everybody was inside. I was shocked he invited me to come in while people were around.

He was sitting in his seat behind his desk, while his friends were sitting in several extra seats. He motioned me to come to him.

I walked awkwardly to him, not really knowing how to act around his friends.

He pulled me down to his lap, and kissed my cheek, "I just wanted to see you before you got to work."

I smiled at how affectionate he was around his friends, while my thumb grazed his facial hair. I noticed that became a habit, "I wanted to see you too. But I have to get to the locker room to do my makeup."

His eyebrows raised, "Ohhhh, so you're dismissing me in my office?"

I laughed at his humor and pecked his cheek, not knowing whether or not he'd allow me to kiss his lips. I got up and affectionately squeezed his arm before walking out. And I knew he was watching me.

When I walked out, Honey walked past me and lightly bumped me.

I thought about if I should grab her back by her hair and beat her ass, or if I should be fair and let her know I wanted to beat her ass beforehand. Then I remembered, I don't compete and fight over men. And if I did, clearly I already won.

The club was full tonight, and it was probably the most lively it's been in a long time.

All of the dancers had men surrounding them, dancing with them. Even me.

As my eyes wandered, I noticed Drake looking at me. The look in his face was disapproving, but I didn't immediately stop. For some reason, I felt bolder. So I winked at him while a random man wrapped his arms around me.

Drake didn't look one bit happy. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I knew I wasn't going to let him get in the way of my doing what he pays me to do.

-

It's Saturday night around 7:34 p.m and I'm having the night off, and I love it.

I turned my shower on, and took my clothes off. I heard the vibration of my phone on the sink, and when I go to look at it, it was the man that makes me melt.

"Hello?"

"What's up, what are you doing?" His voice sounded happy, I could hear his T.V in the background.

"I'm actually about to step into the shower," I looked in the mirror at my naked body.

"I like the sound of that. You want to go out tonight? Around 10?"

"10? Isn't that kind of late?"

"Not really. I like to go out to dinner when places are close to empty, though."

"Well... that makes sense. Are you picking me up?"

"Of course I am, I'll see you?"

"Yes, you will," I smiled.

The conversation ended and I decided not to take a shower but to take a soothing bubble bath.

I turned the shower off, and turned on the bathtub faucet.

When I was finished with my bath, my skin felt like silk. And it felt even softer as I massaged body oil into it. I closed my eyes as I rubbed oil onto my chest, and I ran my hands down my breasts.

I bit my lip, liking the feeling.

Before I knew it I was laying on my bed, massaging my own breasts and playing with my nipples. Drake popped into my head, and I didn't know if he'd like this. I didn't know if he'd approve.

I sat up and looked at the shopping bag from the store Drake took me to. I walked over to it and took the red piece of lingerie out.

I put it onto myself, and checked myself out in my body mirror. It accentuated my waist perfectly, and my breasts sat perfectly in it, as the bust line was accentuated with a lace trim.

The slip stopped right below my butt, as the bottom was trimmed with lace too.

Drake was right, it definitely did boost up how sexy I felt about myself.

I walked back to my bed and laid down again. Drake was on my mind, and I had to do something about it. I noticed that I was rubbing on my inner thigh, as I looked up at the mirror over my ceiling.

I look even better laying down, I thought. I slightly raised the slip and I rubbed on my pink rosebud.

I bit on my lip, and imagined Drake touching me. I wasn't very experienced with masturbation, so I did what made me feel the best.

My middle finger rubbed on my rosebud in a quick circular motion, as I imagined Drake's lips on my nipples, sucking for dear life.

I imagined holding on to those arms that turn me on so much, and I... I imagined myself riding him. I didn't know why I did, but that image turned me on the most.

I imagined how he would look while I bounced on him. The sexy things he'd say. And the more I thought of these things, the faster and harder my middle finger went at it.

Soon, my back arched automatically and I felt myself experience an erotic release I've never done by myself.

I didn't hold in my moans, as I moaned his name.

When the feeling subsided, I did as Drake would've made me do.

I softly pushed two fingers inside myself, feeling my warmth. And when I pulled them out, I inserted them into my mouth.

I reached for my phone that was across the bed. I went to my call log and clicked in Drake's contact, dialing him.

He answered, "Hello?"

I took my fingers out of my mouth, "I don't think we should go out right tonight."

"Why?"

Chapter 12

Saturday, June 13 (5:34 pm)

“Mama!! Does this look okay?” Kath yelled out as she stared at herself in the mirror for the tenth time in the past half hour. She picked at the non-existent lint on her black joggers and straightened her white crop top for the tenth time.

“Yes Kath! Let’s go. We still have to beat the traffic and pick up the tickets.” 

“Ok, ma. Let me just get my purse.” Grabbing her small purse, Kath smiled as she saw her 2 year old niece wearing a t-shirt that had ‘#1 Fan’ written on the front along with a yellow tutu. Kath bent down to pick up her niece who was smiling ear to ear.

“Are you excited baby? Let’s go!” Kath said as she walked towards the front door towards the van.