#chapternotes

Do opposites attract? In this case, they very much do.

Anne is such a force of nature and a breath of fresh air to Matthew. An introvert who prefers to listen rather than talk, he really does fit her needs and she fits his. Anne has finally found someone who allows her the space, without repercussion, to freely speak her mind. Matthew’s natural patience and genuine interest in her thoughts come through so clearly in Montgomery’s words. Who knew how much this little girl would bring such joy to Matthew’s quiet life? And who knew how much his quiet presence and love would give Anne the grounding comfort she needs to thrive?

We also get a glimpse into the brother-and-sister dynamic between Matthew and Marilla. Maybe even a little good cop, bad cop. There’s a deference to Marilla when it comes to decision-making, but we know later that when Matthew will speak up, and when he does, the impact is taken very seriously.

I can hear Anne’s stream of consciousness so loudly and clearly as I read. It’s so natural that I sometimes want to tell her to pause and take a breath.

“Which would you rather be if you had the choice — divinely beautiful or dazzlingly clever or angelically good?” I’ve never thought of that question before, but I guess I’d choose to be dazzlingly clever. How about you?

I love Anne’s idea and habit of naming things she finds beautiful, imaginative names. It’s such a simple yet powerful idea. Why not give a beautiful name to something that resonates with us? At the very least, it makes it easier to remember in the future. And it's not boring!

Avonlea is just as I remembered it, a small rural community, but the description this time really hit home how isolated it was: “A little triangular peninsula… with water on two sides of it.” I was comforted by the coziness of it when I was a child. Reading it now, I notice something I never thought about back then. It feels both comforting and equally claustrophobic, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone. I can imagine that in a small community, that is both a comfort because you may want the attention and care, and a weight for the exact same reasons.

Mrs. Rachel Lynde is the first person we meet, and even though I think she’s definitely nosy, I never got the sense she was mean-spirited. She just notices things and has an excellent memory, like a walking news bulletin.

What struck me this time around was how Matthew and Marilla seemed to stay at the edges of Avonlea's community. Matthew is shy and keeps to himself, and while Marilla is friends with the locals, she does her own thing and keeps them at arm’s length. She’s not interested in gossip and has her own mind.

So in this James POV chapter, you get to see the Marauders when they are extremely hungover - or in Remus' case, still drunk XD 

To be honest, I never cared about Jily until I started writing this fic. I already knew their whole life story and the plot wasn't new and exciting, so to speak. But once I started to think about it more, I realized I really like their story - he acts like a general asshole, she hates him, he shapes up, she dates him. 

But that being said, I knew I had to show James' change. So in the beginning, he acts irresponsibly even though he's Head Boy ... but then Lily threatens to expel him and he's like, oh shit, I need to actually take this position seriously. Time to grow up a little bit! 

And then there's still drunk Remus. Oh god, I had so much fun making him look like a fool - because let's face it, he's such a stickler for the rules and it's funny to see him live a little. I cut a lot of his mishaps out because it ended up making the chapter super long but I wanted to show that he drank because he was upset - something he does later with Marianne and also when Tonks is pregnant. 

:)

I am on a roll here! I am also extremely bored XD 

Ahem. Right.

This might be my favorite chapter of the entire story (although chapter 21 certainly gives it a run for its money). I knew from the beginning that I wanted to mirror the clothes, music, cultural trends, etc from the 70s to make things authentic ... so that's the origin of this scene. I wanted to show what people were wearing, smoking, drinking and listening to back in those days. And let's face it, you know the Marauders threw some bomb parties back in their Hogwarts prime. 

But the main point of this chapter is to introduce the Sirius/Gemma dynamic. I know some people say that Sirius wasn't a player, but even though I respect that interpretation, I don't agree. If he was so detached from his family, part of me thinks he would be detached from his lovers as well because it's much easier to zip up your pants and walk away than it is to go through a relationship and have your heart broken. 

And that's why he and Gemma sleep together after just meeting each other ... because he pursues it like any other fling, but this time he can't walk away because he finds Gemma so fascinating. Originally, I was going to quote Eric Clapton's song "Cocaine" and not explicitly say that Gemma snorted something, but make her bounce off the walls and be a source of boundless energy. I know I've gotten some reviews saying she's a badass, but she's really not. She's a carefree, whimsical girl who happens to smoke a lot of pot and swear and I thought that having her be extremely hyper would highlight her playful nature ... but I didn't want to break any site rules, so I decided to make her a bit more guarded and only happy around certain people. But as you can tell from the bit where they are dancing down the hallway when there's no music playing, Sirius breaks down those barriers quite easily!

More behind the scenes notes, wahoo! 

Right, so this chapter introduces a lot of minor canon characters when Sirius is going over the guest list - Marlene McKinnon (Remus' Winter Ball date), Dorcas Meadows (her drinking partner), Lizzie Richardson (the biggest gossip in school), Geoffrey Wood (Gryffindor Keeper), William Upton, Johnathan Boot and Timothy McLaughlin (Ravenclaw Quidditch team) and of course, Rose Smythe (Sirius' old fling). I wanted to have a core group of "unassociated" characters that I could manipulate into whatever I wanted, so that scene was my introduction to most of them. 

Then we have the Remus/Marianne (Remianne? Marius?) plot for the rest of the chapter. 

I knew I wanted Remus to love someone secretly for a long period of time and deny himself any happiness because he thinks he always has to distance himself from any deep personal relationship because of his illness. That's why he completely lies to Marianne when he talks to her - he doesn't want to have her find out his secret but he also knows that he'd be utterly depressed without her in his life. I tried to model their relationship after Remus/Tonks because I want his behavior to be similar ... although, he's going to be much for naive and carefree with Marianne because he's still young/it's before the Potters die. 

I purposely chose Leonardo Dicaprio as his play by too - even though I'm starting to turn into an Andrew Garfield Remus fangirl, Leo can act an angsty brooding heartthrob role so perfectly! 

Wooo, chapter notes, here we go!!

Ahem. Ok, let's begin. 

I honestly never liked James or Lily before I started writing this fic. I think it's because I've seen a lot of recycled plot lines and cliches over the years. So then I thought, ok Carly, think outside the box here ... what if James fell flat on his face during the first Prefect's meeting? And just failed miserably. That would surely catch the attention of Lily Evans! And low and behold, it did :D

As for Sirius ... his relationship with Gemma spawned this story. I originally wanted Wide Awake to be just about them, but I realized that I love Remus way too much and he would have to have his own back story/romance ... so BOOM! Everyone's involved now. One big happy soap opera!

And my version of Remus was very influenced by Snape's Worst Memory. I know that he turns hard and rigid by the time PoA comes around, but this was the 70's, man. Yes, he was a Prefect, but I still think he had a little spunk in him! So that's why he's "Mastermind Moony" XD 

Peter ... oh Peter. So when I planned out every couple's romantic trajectories, I knew that I wanted characters to cheat - I mean, everything can't turn out all lovey dovey and perfect, now can it? And plus, everyone already hates Peter, so I gave him a dominatrix Slytherin to play with and added a little bit of Peter Campbell and my ex-boyfriend (like Aeryn, I know what it's like to date a dick. So while we are now sort of friends now and he will most likely never read this story, I'm getting my ultimate revenge by immortalizing him in fan fiction, muahaha!). If you don't hate Peter by the end of this story, please let me know, because that means I haven't done my job right. 

Btw, did you catch the foreshadowing in his POV? 

“Oh James,” Aeryn pouted as she snuggled into Peter’s shoulder, “I’ve known that for the past year! It’s like I’m sharing him with another woman!”