Fanfic: If I Ain't Got You: Chapter Twenty-Two
“I’ve been thinking,” She paused, “I don’t want to ruin your mood and I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything…”
I placed the tub of mascara on the counter, “What is it? Spit it out Paige.”
She sighed and sat down beside the counter and placed her hand on her forehead, like she always did when she was beyond worried. I took a seat next to her and stared at her with bewildered eyes, “What is it? Are you okay?”
She looked up at me, “I think you should ask Niall.”
I gave her a puzzled look, “Ask Niall what?”
“Since you won’t say anything to him, just be casual and bring up kids. Just to see what his opinion is and whatever the result is, base it off the abortion.”
I shook my head, “I can’t just be like ‘oh hey Niall what do you think about kids?’ like I’m too young for this and-”
“No being fifteen is young. Being a teenager and being pregnant is hard, but look how happy some of those girls are. They gave up everything to make sure their child way happy, with sex comes some kind of responsibility and I don’t know, I guess I’m trying to say is that I’m going to be so disappointed with you if you get an abortion.” She interrupted.
I didn’t say anything; I couldn’t say anything because when I looked over to avoid contact with Paige, I made eye contact with Eleanor. She was standing with the door open and she hesitated, “I um… uh the chef guy wanted to know if he could add some spices to the seafood.”
I swallowed, “I’ll uh go over there and see how things are going.” I stood up and Eleanor slid back, allowing me to pass through. I inhaled deeply and began to walk down the hall when she grabbed my hand, “Hi, I know we’re not really acquainted with each other, but if you’re pregnant,” She stuttered, “Sorry for eavesdropping, but if you’re gonna have a baby, congratulations!” She smiled, “Niall will be such a great father and I’m sure you will be a wonderful mother.” She hugged me, “Some of us take granted the fact we can reproduce.”
Eleanor sighed, “I can’t so, I can’t have children and it’s really marvelous that soon there will be a little baby running around and if you’re thinking of other options, don’t do it. Just think about how beautiful that kid will be.” She touched my stomach, “Soon he’ll be kicking inside of you and you’ll be really glad you decided not to abort.”
My lips quivered and a tear fell from my eye, “I can’t have this baby Eleanor, you don’t understand.”
She nodded, “I understand, I’m a girlfriend too, but it’s a lot better to tell him then make a sudden decision. It’s his kid too, don’t you think he deserves to know?”
I took a deep, shaky breath and nodded, “Yeah but-”
She shook her head, “Just think about it. Promise.”
I agreed, “I’m Esmeralda by the way.”
“I know your name,” She smiled, “You’re really gorgeous!”
I blushed and she led me to the dinning room.
Dinner was calm and soothing, but a little nerve wrecking. Niall was being such a sweetheart and I couldn’t handle the seafood. The smell and taste had become nauseating. Niall placed his hand into mine and squeezed it lightly when I rested my head on my hand, propping my elbow on the table. I sighed and forced a smile; my stomach wasn’t calming down. I drank my ice tea and sat back, listening to Eleanor speak about how we should all go and do something fun tomorrow.
Suddenly Niall scooted forward and cleared his throat, “I’m not going to be able to come, sorry guys.”
Harry laughed, “He’s got something to do!”
Niall shot him a glare and Harry stopped laughing. I licked my lips and sipped the rest of my ice tea. I stood up from my chair, “That was amazing seafood!” I exclaimed, all eyes on me, “I feel terrible for doing this, since I am the host, but I just have an extremely painful headache right now and I think I’m gonna head on off to bed.”
Eleanor stood up from the table, “Do you have any Advil? I’ll get you a glass of water.” She headed over to the kitchen without my response.
Niall touched my wrist, “Babe you all right?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been a fan of seafood.”
His eyebrows furrowed, “Then why did we eat seafood?”
“You said you wanted to have seafood, remember?” I said, recalling that a couple of days ago he said he was getting tired of eating chicken.
“Yeah but if you don’t like it, you should have said something.”
I groaned. Drew came into my head. How I acted like a diva because I watched him eat shrimp on our date, the way I acted, so angry with him because the smell was so overpowering. I had forced myself to eat the fish we had eaten for dinner and now my body was going to reject it all. I pressed my lips together, feeling the salmon rise in my throat. Niall caught on with my facial expression before I did and rushed me over to the kitchen.
I hurled right into his shirt before we even made it, the chunks of processed food falling right onto the polished wooden floorboards. I shut my eyes, holding my stomach and sniffled. Niall’s eyes were huge and disgusted with the vomit on his body. Eleanor grabbed me and held my head over the sink, “You’re okay Es, just let it out.” She whispered kindly.
I tried to relax my body so it wouldn’t be as painful. I heaved the rest of my meal into the dispenser, Eleanor gently rubbing my back. I heard footsteps run into the kitchen and I knew then that everyone was now standing inside the kitchen. I hovered over the sink for a couple of minutes and cleaned my face with a towel Eleanor handed me. Harry was wiping down Niall and Zayn was staring at me. I inhaled deeply and walked out of the kitchen.
Eleanor was too kind; she was such a helpful person. She led me to my room and started a warm bath. I slipped out of my dress and headed for the tub. I bumped into Niall and he pushed me from him, “Don’t get close, I’m still a little dirty.”
I nodded embarrassed and walked to the bathroom. I soaked my body into the water. Eleanor gave me a warm smile and she left the room. I sighed and covered my face with my hands, trying not to cry. I was such a mess, throwing up all over the place. I groaned, this was Niall’s night, his night to be happy about their performance today, but I had to ruin it by throwing up all over his nice suit.
I heard the door open and a shuffle of footsteps, I sat up and found myself looking at Niall, who was now stripping down. He stepped into the bath and sat behind me, kissing my neck. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around my body, “I love you.” He whispered.
I laughed, “Did throwing up on you finally signal it?”
“Most definitely, I was actually waiting for you to vomit all over me! It really just triggers the emotion!” He teased.
I stared at his hands, “I’m sorry about that.”
“No I am, I should have known you don’t like seafood.”
“I never told you.” I said. We sat in silence, with only the swaying water and fizzling bubbles. His hands rested right on top of my tummy. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, “Do you like kids?” I asked suddenly.
“I love kids, they’re cute and funny. Babies are the best, they’re so innocent, so precious.” My guts churned, “How come?” He asked.
“I don’t know just wondering.”
“It might be weird if I say this, I don’t know, but I think we’d have cute kids.” He giggled, “She could have blue eyes and brown hair like yours.”
I smiled, “She’d have a good father.”
I turned to face Niall, my naked body slipping right into position with his. He gazed into my eyes I looked at his intensely. I licked my lips as his hands fell to my hips, “Lets make some babies then.” I smirked.
Niall stroked the side of my face; I laid my head on his chest. He hummed a tune, a finger twirling with my hair. My eyes were slowly drooping, Niall was tired too I could hear it in his voice. I sighed and allowed myself to sleep.
“The itsy bitsy spider, climbed up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out! Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again!” The blue-eyed toddler sang to me, taking the sucker to her mouth, holding onto my finger with her entire hand. She was beautiful I told myself; she was more than anything I could have ever imagined. Her hair was brown and wavy, skin pale.
I watched her as I sat down on the grass, she ran around in a playground, giggling, “Mommy! Mommy! Look at what I can do!” She slid down a slide and squealed. I smiled at her as she ran back to me. I suddenly felt a pair of hands grip onto my waist, “We made a beautiful baby girl.” The Irish accent whispered.
I grinned, “Niall she’s gorgeous!”
I hugged the little girl with all my might, “Sophie, how much do you love me?” Zayn asked, suddenly appearing next to us.
“Daddy!” The child screamed.
My heart raced and I rubbed my eyes, the blue-eyed toddler suddenly had brown eyes, her hair was a darker shade of brown and her skin was tan. She looked just like Zayn. I grew frantic and took the toddler from Zayn, “Sophie?” I said desperately.
“My name’s not Sophie Mommy!” She said, “I’m Lauren!”
Zayn hooked his arm around my neck, “Remember our steamy night on your bed, we were making our baby.”
I screamed at the top of my lungs, my hand flew to my chest. My heart was racing my head was sweaty. I sat up, staring into the dark room. Niall jolted and immediately wrapped his arms around me, “Esme! What’s wrong?”
I inhaled deeply and shook my head, “Just a bad dream.”
“A nightmare?” I heard him laugh, “My baby had a nightmare!” He tickled.
I cringed at the sound of the word baby and threw off the covers. Niall groaned, “Es I was only kidding!”
I turned the lights on in my closet and got rid of my pajamas and slipped into a thin nightgown. I walked back and laid on top of the sheets, after turning the AC up. Niall kissed my cheek, “I was joking.”
He took my hand into his, “Come to dinner with me tomorrow.”
I sighed, “I don’t think I’d like to be publicly humiliated if I throw up on you.”
“I promise it won’t be seafood. Just you and me, I want some alone time.”
“I know that.” He kissed my collarbone, “But we haven’t been on a date, it almost makes me feel like we’re married.”
“And would that be such a bad thing?” I asked, giving him a bit of an attitude. It was late at night, actually it was three in the morning and I had just had the worst nightmare of my entire life and talking with Niall would usually make me feel better, but all I felt was guilt, complete and total utter guilt.
“I just don’t think we go out as much.” He cleared his throat.
I sighed, “We don’t go out because of all these people following us, following you.”
“Those people are fans and the come in this bundle of fame, deal with it.” He snapped, rolling over.
It was nice, the whole public fame thing, but it wasn’t so much fun when you couldn’t even go to the grocery store without someone following you. Alan was beginning to have Scott follow me around wherever I went and I wanted my own privacy again. Especially with all these One Direction fans, they were constantly following Niall around and it felt good, but it was also a bit dangerous. I was always afraid of being trampled like I had been in the pharmacy a couple months ago.
I didn’t say anything to Niall; he gripped onto the pillow and tried to fall back asleep. I held my stomach; maybe our lifestyle was too hectic for a baby. I didn’t want to be afraid for my child every time we went out. I buried my head into my pillow and shut my eyes, a bit frightened that the nightmare would return into my thoughts.
I looked through the racks of clothes at a small boutique not too far from my building. I needed a girl’s day out with Eleanor, Paige and Kelsey. I missed Lacey; she flew back to California for vacation with Dylan they were both getting pretty serious. I sipped on my mocha frap while I held out a red dress. I felt bad for arguing with Niall last night, so I decided I would go out with him tonight wearing a brand new dress.
“I think that’s cute!” Eleanor exclaimed, holding a couple blouses of her own. I ran my tongue over my teeth and thought about what I could wear with the dress. I placed it back on the rack and continued to look.
“How about something taupe?” Eleanor suggested, handing me a light brown polka dot dress.
I held it out in front of me, “I’ll try it on.”
I headed over to the dressing rooms and slipped out of my clothes, placing the Starbucks on the side. I stared at my stomach in the mirror; it was so hard for me to believe I was pregnant. The word just could not process in my head and I wasn’t too sure being pregnant was such a bad idea. I pulled the dress over my body and posed around. It was a strapless pleated tube dress, it fitted and comfortable. I had the perfect heels and accessories for the dress.
Changing back into my clothes I purchased the dress and waited around for Eleanor to finish shopping. Paige had bought a thin cardigan and Kelsey got a small bag. Lazily flipping through the racks, I heard my phone ring.
“Hello?” I said without bothering to look at the caller ID.
“We need to talk.” Zayn spoke.
I took a deep breath, “I can’t. I’m going out to dinner with Niall tonight.”
“Is there anyway I can see you before?” He asked.
I shook my head, “No Zayn. If this is about the baby-”
He interrupted, “I’ll just talk to you tomorrow, I have to go.”
I stuttered, “Uh oh-kay.”
He hung up and Eleanor flashed a smile, “Ready to go?”
I nodded, “You guys hungry, I could really go for an avocado sandwich right now!”
We walked right around the corner into a bakery. I ordered my food and sat in front of Eleanor, who was mixing her tea.
“So what are you gonna do with the baby?” Paige asked.
Eleanor shot me a glance, “I uh, I don’t know.”
Kelsey adjusted herself next to me, “Just imagine, a cute little baby that looks just like you and Niall.”
“That baby will be so loved!” Paige added.
“I mean your child is growing inside of you. You may not feel it, but that baby is going to love you and need you so much.” Eleanor sipped on her tea.
I sighed touching my tummy. There was a being growing inside of me, something I made, with my genes. I never thought I would love it, her or him, but they were right, “I’ll keep it.”
The girls squealed, “Yay!”
Eleanor scooted in, “Oh my god and we can throw you a baby shower and buy you diapers and cute little outfits.”
“And toys and blankets!” Kelsey smiled.
I laughed, “You guys should be the ones having kids, not me.”
Kelsey groaned, “If only I could find someone who could put up with my shit, then I’d start popping out kids left and right.”
We burst into laughter, “I am just so happy you’re not aborting. Thank god.”
“It just takes sometime, you’ll love your baby.” Eleanor grinned.
It felt like a relief, but then my problems rushed back in, because I had no idea how I’d be telling Niall I was pregnant. I guess tonight was going to be a good night to tell him the news and he’d probably understand all my sickness. After eating lunch, we went home and the girls helped me get ready for my date tonight.
“You look stunning.” Harry whispered into my ear, “Niall is one lucky guy.”
“Thanks Harry.” I said, kissing him on the cheek.
Harry had escorted me to a ballroom. There was a small stage where live music was being played and everyone around us was looking very elegant. I had my hair curled and parts were pinned back, I wore my dress and Niall’s bracelet on my wrist. Harry led me to my seat, which was right in front of the stage. I was a little confused why Niall hadn’t just taken me here, but I didn’t argue.
I felt as if I was placed in an old movie, there was a dance floor and a grand chandelier on the ceiling. I sat at a round table with candles and champagne. Harry pushed my seat in and disappeared. The chair in front of me was still empty and a waiter had come by to pour some wine in my glass, placing a basket of bread on the side. I thanked him and he nodded at me, walking away. The ballroom was very chatty, couples were talking all around us, when suddenly the lights dimmed and the place grew very quiet.
The players on the stage had moved and the curtains flew open. A blonde haired man sat on a chair, his back facing the crowd. A familiar tune began to play, an old song, but not from an old artist. Somebody to love by Justin Bieber started and the man had stood up from the chair, joined by four other guys began to dance. I laughed as I noticed it was Niall and he began to sing.
“I don’t need a whole lot, but for you I admit I, rather give you the world, or we can share mine. I know that I won’t be the first one, given you all this attention
but baby listen,” I had the biggest smile stretched across my face and so did he. Niall sang on the stage with the crowd clapping along to his four-minute performance and as the song began to end, he walked towards me, slowly.
“I’m sure Justin Bieber hasn’t always been your favorite, but whenever you smile, I smile,” The drums began to play, along with a guitar, “Oh yeah mmm…your lips, my biggest weakness,” He pecked my lips, “Shouldn’t have let you know, I’m always gonna do what the say, if you need me, I’ll come running, from a thousand miles away…” Niall dropped to one knee and I bit my lip, “Esmeralda, I know we’ve only been together for a short amount of time, but almost losing you made me realize how crazy in love I am with you.”
He took my hand into his, “Es, baby, you didn’t leave me even though you had every right to go and baby I’ve been around the world and I ain’t seen myself another girl like you,” He took a small box from his pocket, “This ring here represents my heart and there’s just one thing I need from you…”
“Say I do,” The four guys sang behind Niall, “Yeah because, I can see us holding hands, walking on the beach our toes in the sand, I can see us on the country side, sitting on the grass laying side by side,” Niall grinned and joined the boys, “You could be my baby, let me make you my lady, girl you amaze me, ain’t gotta do nothing crazy. See all, I want you do is be my love.”
The music stopped and Niall slipped the ring on my finger, “Marry me Es. What’s the point of waiting anymore? Cause girl I’ve never been more sure, that baby it’s you.” Niall held my face between his palms, “I love you.”
Tear spilled down my eyes as I nodded like a frantic lunatic, “Yes oh my god yes!” I jumped into his arms and the whole room cheered. Niall twirled me around and kissed me passionately. I smiled throughout our kiss, “I love you. Oh my god, I love you.” I tightened my grip around his neck.
Niall kissed my cheeks, “I hope this wasn’t too outrageous.”
“No! No! This was great, this was so g–great!” I choked.
“I want you to be mine, Es, forever.” His eyes watered, “I don’t ever want to leave you and I hope you never leave me.”
“I won’t, I won’t.” I kissed him, “I’ll never leave you.”
Niall smiled, “Do you like the ring?”
I was so flooded with emotions I hadn’t taken much note to the ring. I held my hand up; I hadn’t realized how huge the diamond was. It was white gold band patented cushion cut Tiffany diamond surrounded by bead-set diamonds. I gazed at the ring in awe, “Babe this looks really expensive.”
“The price is nothing,” He leaned into my neck, “As long as you love it.”
“I love it, it’s so big!” I exclaimed. I stared into his eyes and smiled, “I really was not expecting this at all.”
He laughed, “I’m glad you decided to come.”
The live orchestra began to play, saxophones and violins; the music was so soothing. Niall pulled me towards the dance floor, holding me close to his body. I wasn’t sure how to tell him and I hesitated. How could I tell him I was pregnant, what if it was too much? I inhaled deeply; I’ll put it off until tomorrow I would tell Niall tomorrow. Tonight, I just wanted it to be about him and I, nobody else.
I woke up staring at my engagement ring; it all just felt so surreal. I rolled over into Niall’s arms and he yawned, “Morning babe.”
I planted a kiss on him, “You’re a lucky guy.”
He raised his eyebrows, “How so?”
“You’re gonna spend the rest of your life with such a fabulous girl like me!” I teased, “You get to wake up to this face every morning.”
He laughed, “I already do.”
I sat myself over his hips and touched the side of his face, “You give me butterflies.” He tickled my tummy and I laughed, “Niall! Stop it!” He tackled me over, swiftly he hovered over me, “How do you feel now?”
I smiled, “Like a princess.”
He kissed my cheek, “You are my princess.”
I rolled my eyes, “And you’re the frog!”
“Brush your teeth, morning breath.” He chuckled.
I squinted my eyes at him, “Put some underwear on before you head out for the kitchen and take a shower, you smell!”
He got off the bed and walked into the closet, “I think I’m gonna hit the gym.” He changed into sweatpants and into a sleeveless white shirt. He pulled sneakers over his feet and kissed my forehead. I watched him leave as I glanced back at my ring; I was going to be Mrs. Niall Horan.
After showering, I changed into a floral patterened skirts and a black tank top. I air dried my hair and applied a black flick of eyeliner. I texted Eleanor and asked if she wanted to hang out as I made my way to the kitchen. Paige was cooking some eggs and I gave her a small grin.
“Someone woke up-” I raised my hand, “Oh my GOD!” She grabbed my hand and touched the diamond, “That is huge! Oh my god, you’re getting married!” She squealed and ran around the counter, pulling me into a tight hug, “I can’t believe this! You guys are so cute together!”
“What is all the screaming about?” Kelsey asked walking to the kitchen, still dressed in her pajamas.
Paige shoved my hand in her face and Kelsey’s eyes widened, “Oh my god is that a-”
“Our little Es is gonna get married!” Paige shrieked.
“That rock is bigger then my eye, dear lord how much is that even worth?” Kelsey stared at the ring.
“I don’t know, he didn’t say.” I replied, in awe with the diamond.
“When are you getting married?” She asked.
I shrugged, “I have no idea, all I know is Niall is my fiancé and,” I paused, “I haven’t told him I’m pregnant.”
There was a sudden rapid knock at the door and I rushed over to open it. Eleanor and Louis slipped through the door; she held a Starbucks cup in her hand, the other holding Louis’ hand. She smiled and hugged me, “What was the whole frantic texting for?”
I showed her my ring, “I’m getting married!”
Eleanor practically dropped her coffee, if it weren’t for Louis’ fast reflexes, it would have hit the floor. She touched the diamond, “Louis babe, the ring is huge!” She exclaimed, “Oh my god, when? Last night?”
I nodded as we headed over to the living room, “Hi Louis.” I greeted before taking a seat on the couch, crisscross, “He performed for me, he sang Justin Bieber and Justin Timberlake, it was so amazing!”
“He proposed in front of a crowd?” Louis asked.
“Odd,” Louis hummed, “I would have thought it would have been more restricted, but anyways congratulations!”
“Don’t you feel like things are going somewhat fast?” Eleanor questioned,
I mean with the pregnancy and all? What did Niall say?”
Louis’ eyes widened, “You’re pregnant?”
I slammed my hand on my forehead, “Shit.”
“Fuck, yeah sorry.” Eleanor apologized, “Louis go find the guys or something, call Zayn ask him to accompany you.”
“No don’t call Zayn.” I said without thinking.
“How come?” Louis wondered.
“Never mind, it doesn’t matter.” I tried to cover up, “I haven’t told him, I just don’t know how he’s going to react.”
“I’ll just let you girls deal with your issues,” Louis stood from the couch, pulling his phone out, “Hey Zayn…” His voice drifted off.
“Well do it soon!” She smiled.
Kelsey sat beside me and handed me her phone, “You’re on Yahoo News, twitter, and a shitload of other websites. Everybody knows you two are getting married, talk of the town.”
I took the phone and scrolled through Yahoo. There was an entire article, with every detail of Niall’s proposal; they had even linked a video. I would have gotten a bit upset that such an intimate moment was spread with the whole world, but it was my moment with the guy I loved and at least I could look back and relive it. I headed towards the computer and spun around in the chair while I waited for it to turn on.
I logged onto my twitter and noticed that Nesme was trending worldwide. I smiled and touched my ring, “Is this real guys? Am I really sitting here with this ring on my finger?” My lips quivered, I turned to Paige and Kelsey, “Are we really sitting in a penthouse, am I seriously famous?”
I burst into tears; I had reached that moment in my life, where I couldn’t actually believe I was the person I am today. I had everything and more that any girl could ever dream of. Paige and Kelsey hugged me, “You deserve it Es you really do.”
I wiped my tears, “You guys are really nice you guys are such good friends.”
Paige laughed, “As long as we’re invited to the wedding.”
“If we’re not this thing, we call bffls, its over.” Kelsey joked.
I laughed, “Holy fuck guys. We’ve met and hung out with our favorite band for months.”
“I still run my 1D blog.” Kelsey confessed.
“Fangirls for life.” Paige whispered.
Eleanor laughed, “I run a twitter and I am constantly tweeting dirty things to Louis.”
We burst into laughter, “Are you serious?”
“I’ve got like 40k followers.”
“Surprised he hasn’t blocked you.”
“I know oh my god, I’ve got some wacky username.”
“What is it? I’ll look you up right now.”
“No! You guys’ll think I’m weird, no!” She refused.
It felt as if everything was finally going right, nothing felt wrong. I was so in love with Niall and I knew we didn’t have to say it to each other, we could just feel it. I spent the rest of the morning with the girls, we laughed and told embarrassing stories from our high school days. We got up from the living room and decided to make lunch for the boys. But there are those little mistakes that just come back to ruin it all, or at least attempt tom because as I washed the lettuce for the chicken salad, Zayn stood next to Louis, wearing a tight white polo, showing off his arm muscles.
“Can we talk?” Zayn asked.
I headed over to the hall where I was getting a roll of towels. I sat down on my knees and looked through my cabinet of utilities.
“What do we need to talk about?” I tried to act occupied.
I needed to avoid him and he wasn’t it making it easy by constantly staring at me and following me around in my apartment. I grabbed a hold of a roll and stood up.
“I love you.” He blurted.
My eyes widened at his sudden words, “What?”
“You’re always on my mind and I want to be with you so bad, but-”
I stopped him, “I’m gonna marry Niall, Zayn.”
He stood back in shock, “What?”
“Niall proposed to me, I said yes.”
“But what about the baby?”
He shook his head and placed his hands on my stomach, “No you don’t know that.”
I pulled myself from him, “I won’t leave Niall for you.”
He held his forehead with his palm, “What about me?” He stepped closer to my body, “What am I supposed to do? Watch you marry him and wait eight months to see if it’s my kid?”
“I guess so.” I whispered.
“Fuck that.” He pressed his lips onto mine, pushing me against the wall. I closed my eyes, his lips were so soft and soothing, I pulled from him and he groaned, “How can you tell me you have no feelings whatsoever?”
“This is wrong Zayn! You’re making it hard.”
“You either do or you don’t Es.” He gritted his teeth.
“Be happy for us and stop this.” I pleaded.
I didn’t need this, I just wished he would get a clue and stop making it so difficult for me. I just wanted to be happy with Niall, marry him and live the rest of our lives together without Zayn complicating it. I gave Zayn a cold stare and he shook his head, “I can’t hide my feelings for you anymore.”
He reached for my hand and his finger touched the top of my ring, he pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. Zayn slowly dropped my hand to my side, “I didn’t think I would fall in love with my best friends fiancé.”
The words lingered in the air. My heart rate was increasingly fast and taking in Zayn’s pained expression was harder then I ever imagined. He kissed my cheek and walked back down the hall, the roll of paper towel fell to the floor. I didn’t want things to be like this, Zayn and I didn’t have to be such an awkward friendship, maybe things could go back to the way they were. If only it were easy.
“Are we gonna talk about this?” Niall threw himself on top of me.
I groaned in pain, extreme pain. I really needed to tell him about the whole pregnancy thing. He rolled off me with worried eyes, “Oh my god, did I hurt you?” He asked.
I held my stomach and stood from the bed, pacing around in my room, “I’m fine.” I lied, shutting my eyes.
“Baby,” Niall took a hold of my hand and pulled me onto his lap, “I’m sorry.”
I kissed his cheek, “I’m fine, really.”
We sat just looking at each other, “What do you wanna talk about?” I asked breaking the silence.
“I would have imagined that girls would be the ones getting all worked up, but when do you wanna get married?”
I shrugged my shoulders, “Depends what kind of wedding we’ll be having.”
“A big one or a private?” He questioned.
“Like Kim Kardashian, I want it huge and lavishing!” I said sarcastically.
“Well maybe we should start off by maybe you meeting my mom? We haven’t even done that.” Niall laughed.
“We follow all the rules.”
Niall hummed and laid be down on the bed, “Like sex after marriage.” He kissed my collarbones, “Living together after marriage.”
Having kids after marriage, I wanted to say, but couldn’t.
“Are we gonna fly to Ireland?” I interrupted him.
“I was thinking about bringing her here,” He paused, “Like tomorrow.”
He sighed, “Well I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but we’re going to be announcing a world tour next week and it starts in about five months.”
I groaned, “That’s the thing about your band, you think money comes out of these fans asses like they can just drop three hundred and fifty dollars like nothing. You need to give them time to try and get the money to buy the tickets.”
“I’ll bring it up sometime, but do you want to this before or after the tour?”
Niall and I have all the time in the world to get married, it didn’t have to be so soon, “I think planning a wedding in the next couple of months will be hard.”
“You won’t have to do it alone, I’m sure my mother will help.”
“We could do it after the tour, so maybe we won’t be as rushed if we do it before.” I suggested.
“I just wanna hurry up and get married now.” He admitted.
“What’s the rush?” I smiled.
“I just want you to be mine.”
“I am yours.” I kissed his lips.
“So why don’t we get married before?”
“Niall, if you wanna get married before just tell me.”
Then the thought hit me, I didn’t want to be pregnant while in a wedding dress, “Ok we’ll get married before the tour.”
He smiled, “So you don’t mind if my mom comes tomorrow?”
“I have to clean!” I screamed jumping off the bed, running into the closet. I started picking up things off the floor and throwing them into the laundry dispenser, “Your mom can’t think I’m a dirty person!”
Niall chuckled, “She won’t mind.”
I ignored him and changed into shorts and a tank top, I needed to make sure my apartment was sparkling clean. I picked up Niall’s shoes and placed them on the rack and started folding some of his jeans when I felt his hand touch mine, “Well if I knew you clean with booty shorts on I would have you clean every day.” He teased, “Es we can call room service in the morning, my mom’s flight won’t be in until night.”
I sighed and turned to face him, “Are we really getting married?”
He nodded, “You said yes.”
I jumped into his arms, “I love you.”
“I love you more.” He squinted.
He stared into my eyes and I slipped my tongue between his lips, his hands running up my torso. I threw my head back as he worked on planting kisses along my collarbone. I grinned; I’d be having sex with Niall whenever I wanted, for the rest of my life. Cool.
end notes: gaw aren't they such a cute couple? yessss they are but what about zayn? poor zayn. poor, poor zayn. i'm going to LA so there might and might not be an update on Wednesday
