#chapter thirty two

“I suppose we have no other business here,” Firestar said to Rookstar. “Unless you need help with something?”

Rookstar’s tail brushed along the ground lazily. “Should be good for a few days. Keep in touch. We could help you too.”

“I appreciate that.” Firestar settled a little in his chest. “And, of course, ThunderClan’s ready to help you at any time. If you want extra muscle to confront those Aulmir cats, please let us know.”

“Duly noted.”

Firestar looked at Brick. “Ready to go?”

Brick slanted his head. “We might as well. I’m eager to get out of this grass, if you’ll pardon me, Rookstar.”

“Take an escort.” Rookstar beckoned Wrenwhisker over with his tail. “Don’t need you to fall into a tunnel.”

Wrenwhisker said nothing as he walked past Firestar and Brick, leading them back out into the moorland. It troubled Firestar that he was grateful for the silence.

Walking down the long hill was a great deal easier; the main concern was following Wrenwhisker’s path. It was truly a marvel how, even knowing the tunnels were there, they were still impossible to see. If the grass didn’t cover one, it was elegantly shielded by a crest of tough, dry earth that hovered at just the right height to not be suspicious at a second or third glance.

They were about halfway down when Wrenwhisker turned his head, met Firestar’s eyes, and gestured with a jerk of his chin. Firestar glanced at Brick, who nodded, before picking up his pace and trotting up to Wrenwhisker, leaving Brick to follow at a respectful distance.

“Wanted to say ‘sorry’,” Wrenwhisker murmured as he lowered his long head to Firestar’s level. “About the Gathering.”

Every string of muscle in Firestar’s body went completely stiff. It was amazing his limbs kept moving.

“Just got worried about you, is all,” Wrenwhisker continued. “You don’t look like yourself. But I shouldn’t say that in the middle of a big crowd.”

Firestar’s ears unconsciously flattened against his head.

Wrenwhisker must have noticed, because his voice went even more quiet, and about as careful as a WindClanner could sound. “Don’t really sound like yourself, either—”

“It’s not your problem,” Firestar said sharply. “I’m fine. My only problem is finding a way to help the Aulmir cats. The rest of you don’t need to worry about that. You wouldn’t, anyway.”

Wrenwhisker, evidently, knew when to shut up. He looked forward again, mouth closed tight, and said nothing more for the entire walk. Firestar slowed down his pace so that he wouldn’t have to feel his friend’s eyes on the side of his head.

When they reached the border, Wrenwhisker stopped, waved his tail, and stood quietly until Brick and Firestar were far enough away for the stripes on his pelt to blur with distance. Brick glanced back at him, then at Firestar, but he was silent too. Thank the stars.

Crossing the neutral grounds, the stars were fleeing an advancing pale sky when they caught sight of a familiar cloud of ginger-and-white standing at the edge of the forest. Cloudnose seemed almost half asleep, but as soon as he saw them, he shook himself, jumped to his feet, and rushed over to them with his enormously fluffy tail high and curled.

“There you are!” He slowed down, his enthusiasm halted as his eyes turned to his uncle. “Eparme, are, uh, are you okay?”

Firestar clenched his teeth briefly, but answered with a calm, “I’m fine, why?”

“Just…” Cloudnose gestured weakly with a paw. “Your ears.”

His ears…?

Ah. They were still flat against his head.

Forcing them back up again, he straightened up as well as he could. “Everything’s alright. We have some news to share with ThunderClan. Let’s go home. Why were you out here alone?”

Cloudnose, like Wrenwhisker, took the cue and dropped the subject. He still walked a body-length away from his uncle as he answered. “We heard from a WindClan cat that you were helping Rookstar out with something, but you and Brick were gone for so long… we got worried, so I offered to stand at the border and wait for you.”

“Thank you,” Firestar said automatically, and nothing more. He pretended not to notice Cloudnose peering over him with a questioning look at Brick, and he refused to look at Brick to see what his response was.

It was a silent journey back to camp. Silent and painfully awkward. Firestar focused on his feet and the path he was walking, trying to find little discolored flecks of soil or any signs of moisture still sticking to the ground. It didn’t really help, but it was mildly entertaining.

They stepped through the tunnel and into camp, and it seemed like everyone was there. Several cats jumped up excitedly, and those that rose more slowly sighed in relief. Dustpelt was the first to reach them, stopping in front of Firestar with his paws together and back straight.

“Things were fine while you were gone,” he said promptly. “But you did worry the Clan a bit by not coming home sooner.”

“A ‘bit’?” Teaselfoot padded up to them with a snort. “It was all anyone was talking about! ‘Where’s Firestar?’ ‘Why hasn’t he come home by now?’ ‘What if something got him and Brick?’”

“Oh, so someone did consider me.” Brick twitched his whiskers. “How touching.”

“I told you guys they were fine,” Cinderpelt said by the stump. “The one time you choose not to listen to me…”

“Is everyone here?” Firestar asked Dustpelt.

Dustpelt nodded. “Hunting and patrolling have been taken care of tonight. We left scouting at the border for after you got home.”

“Good.” Firestar turned and trotted to the meeting stump, jumping up quickly and turning to face the Clan. He barely waited for everyone to gather around before beginning with, “Brick’s and my time was spent with Rookstar. He’s been having trouble with rogues in the Barn, just like Barley said, and…”

As he told the story, his eyes drifted over his Clanmates and their guests. Tiny Squirrel, standing next to Goldenflower with a comically far-tilted head; Barley, his paw still lifted and ears back but his eyes remaining hopeful; Brick, sitting by Mousefur and seemingly paying more attention to her reactions than what Firestar was saying. They stood out from the longhaired giants of the forest almost as badly as he did. It was vaguely comforting to not be the only weird one now.

“…So we should be ready if WindClan decides to ask for our help,” he finished. “I don’t know if they will, but be on alert anyways. I do want to check on RiverClan and ShadowClan as well in the coming nights.”

Dustpelt, standing on the side of the stump opposite Cinderpelt, spoke up. “I can go to RiverClan tomorrow night, if you’d like. You need to rest.”

Why did that elicit Firestar’s claws unsheathing and digging into the stump’s soft wood?

He gathered what little patience he had in the moment and answered, “That would be nice. Thank you.”

There was a brief silence that was just as awkward as the two that had preceded it. Firestar broke it by continuing, “We’ll check on ShadowClan after them. That’s all I needed to say. Let’s rest and wait for tomorrow.”

He jumped down with no further fanfare and the crowd split up, some cats going to what remained of the prey-pile and others sitting down to groom themselves before heading to their dens. Distantly, Firestar’s stomach growled, so he joined Brick, Mousefur, Teaselfoot, and Lizardtail at the prey-pile.

“Any moles left?” he asked, and didn’t know how to feel when the entire group barely concealed their flinches as they looked at him.

Lizardtail was the one to speak first, pawing through the pile and scooping up a rather fat mole. “Just one. I think someone saved it for you.” He batted it Firestar’s way and it slid into his feet.

“Thank you,” Firestar said. He rested a paw on the mole and looked down at it, remembering Spottedleaf and when she’d carved one open and presented its heart to him. Experimentally, he did the same, using one claw to slice down the mole’s stomach—

And immediately had to fight vomiting bile.

Things pink and dull maroon sliding out of a wound he’d caused. Neck and gut covered in blood he’d spilled.

He shoved the mole away from him, back legs giving out just as he tried to back up. He shivered violently and his chest began to ache. He belatedly realized he wasn’t breathing and forcefully inhaled and exhaled in a way that stung his lungs.

It’s not him. It’s not him. His claws sank into the sand. It’s just a mole. Just food. Nothing happened.

“Firestar?”

His head shot up. Everyone was looking at him. Even Brick’s eyes were wide and disturbed.

It was Teaselfoot who had spoken. “What’s wrong?”

Firestar swallowed air, trying to kill the nausea broiling his stomach. His voice completely failed to sound calm. “Nothing. Get your prey and some rest.”

Lizardtail, watching him through slightly narrowed eyes, turned to the others. Some sort of idea was communicated in silence, because the other three picked up their meals and quickly left the scene, their tails all puffed out.

Firestar only had a moment to feel the relief of silence and solitude before Lizardtail stepped closer to him, sat down, and with mentor-like patience, asked quietly, “How are you doing?”

Firestar tensed up all over again. He barely managed to mutter, “I wish you all would stop asking me that.”

“And we wish you’d answer honestly,” Lizardtail replied.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m—”

“It very much does.” Lizardtail had the audacity to speak sternly, even if his eyes were uneasy. “Ever since the battle, you’ve been… well, you’ve been a mess. I understand why—”

Firestar glared at him. The anger flaring in his chest was becoming entirely too familiar. “What’s the story, then? What did you all hear?”

Lizardtail did a pretty good job at hiding his flinch, but not a perfect one. “…We all know how Scourge died. And that you were the one to do it.”

Firestar could have retched. He just stared at the ground and said nothing.

“I can’t pretend that I know exactly how you’re feeling,” Lizardtail went on, “but I can get a pretty good idea from how you’ve been acting. We all can. It’s…” He took in a slow breath and leaned in closer, voice even quieter. “I don’t think you’ve noticed how everyone’s afraid of you now.”

That got his attention. Firestar looked up at him like he’d been struck. “What are you talking about? No one… who would be afraid of me?”

Lizardtail gazed off behind him. “Maybe the cats who don’t want to make you angry by saying the wrong thing, which…we don’t know what that is anymore.”

Firestar looked over his shoulder. The few cats still out were not being subtle about watching the muted conversation. They turned their attention to their pelts or meals as soon as Firestar caught their eyes, but none of them spoke.

“We’ve been treading lightly around you for over a month, Firestar,” Lizardtail continued, having the decency to stay quiet. “You look like a corpse half the time, and the other half you’ve got an air like you’re about to start screaming at whoever you’re talking to.”

Firestar stared at him, but nothing came out of his mouth.

“All you talk about is the Aulmir cats,” Lizardtail said. His eyes softened now. “But I know that’s not the full idea of what’s bothering you.”

Silence. Firestar didn’t know what to say.

When it was clear he wasn’t going to respond, Lizardtail added, in the same soothing tone he’d used for Swifttail when he was an anxious new apprentice, “I—well, all of us—really think it would help you to talk to someone about this. Anyone you want. We’d all listen.”

Firestar’s nose pointed to the ground again. He couldn’t feel the sand pooling into the spaces between his toes.

“I wish you’d stop saying that, too,” he muttered, with much more venom than he wanted to express.

Lizardtail drew back a little, sighed through his nose, and replied quietly, “Okay.” Before Firestar could say anything, he picked up a mouse and walked past his leader, offering one last look of concern before passing him and, going by the voices whispering to him, joining Mousefur and Teaselfoot.

Firestar didn’t listen to what they were saying. He stood up, not bothering to shake the sand out of his paws, and stalked over to the camp’s entrance. He barely had it in him to keep his tail level and straight instead of lashing around.

Some part of him squeaked in complaint that he wasn’t going to the warrior’s den again. The other part moved him forward until he passed through the regrowing lichen curtain and stepped into the leader’s den. The moss in here was cracked, dry and brown. He kicked the scattered remains of his nest out of his way and laid down on the hard ground with no fanfare or pacing.

That damned stone wall, staring him down, daring him to look away.

He did. He curled up tightly around himself, almost sinking his claws into his haunch so he couldn’t untangle and stretch out to face the wall again. His squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth with the effort.

But he couldn’t shut out the faces of his Clanmates, of his family, all staring at him, this time with worry and fear. Now that Lizardtail had mentioned it, their hesitation to upset him, or even speak to him, became painfully obvious.

He was aware he wasn’t fine, okay? He knew. He wasn’t stupid.

But he didn’t think he really deserved to be fine.

Who would get to be okay with everything he’d caused? Everything he did.

Stars knew how many cats he’d led to their deaths by murdering just one.

How was it fair? How could he just go back to business as usual while innumerable cats suffered, lost their children, lost their ability to HAVE any, were taken away from their homes and families, were done away with by humans if they weren’t healthy enough?

Maya closed the door to the bathroom behind Keye and Becks. After finishing breakfast, Maya and Keye had come up with a rough plan. Now Keye was helping Becks take a shower and Maya was going to deal with the wolves. Well, one wolf in particular.

She found him outside, cell phone held to his ear as he stood on the back patio. She quietly opened the french door and slipped outside and announced her presence with a soft, “Paul?”

He turned to her immediately and said into the phone, “Hold on a second,” before letting the hand holding the phone hang down at his side as he stepped toward her. She stood on tiptoe and he leaned to meet her kiss, his hand cupping the side of her face. “How’s Becks?”

“We’re figuring it out,” Maya said gently. “Who’s on the phone?” she mouthed.

“Sam. Give me just a second,” his thumb stroked across her cheek as he put the phone back to his ear, his eyes roving around Maya’s face for comfort. “Yeah,” he replied into the phone. “We’ll do a sweep tonight to make sure.” He continued. Maya’s eyes were glued to him and he leaned down to kiss her forehead before saying into the phone, “Alright, I’ll keep you posted. Yeah. Bye.” When he hung up the phone and slipped it into his pocket he used both hands to cup around Maya’s face as he leaned down to kiss her again. Maya placed her hands on his chest and leaned into it for a moment, letting the relief wash through her.

When she pulled back and he let his hand drift down to stroke her arms, and Maya let out a sigh.

“So, I’m going to ask you to do something. And I need you to say yes,” Maya said peering up at him through her lashes. She was trying to give him her most serious, pleading look. He raised an eyebrow at her and looked at her with hesitance.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “What is it?”

“Keye, Becks, and I need to leave for a little bit. Just to get her some space from the whole….Jacob imprinting thing,” Maya said firmly.

“Okay, so what do you need me to do?” Paul said, still confused. Maya faltered and then said.

“I need you to let me go with her,” Maya said.

“Of course you can go with her,” Paul said. Maya let out a breath and gripped his forearms. “This shit with Jacob is….kind of fucked up if I’m being honest. I wouldn’t want Becks to stay right now either. At least not until we figure this out.”

Maya let out a sigh of relief and leaned up to kiss him, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“What? Did you think this was going to be a fight?” Paul chuckled and wrapped his arm down around her back.

“Kind of?” Maya said, screwing her face up in a mild look of embarrassment, “I know you don’t like when we’re apart for a while and this is going to be the farthest we’ll have been away from each other since the imprint.”

“Wait...where are you going?” Paul said. Maya sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth making a hissing noise as she braced herself.

“Champagne?”

“Oh, hell yes!” Keye said reaching for the class offered by the flight attendant.

“Thank you,” Maya took the glass and looked at Becks sitting next to her in the window seat, “Becks?” At the mention of her name, Becks looked over lazily and stared at the glass for a moment before shaking her head.

“No thank you,” she said wearily before she turned to look out the window again. Maya slipped her hand into Becks’ and squeezed it.

“Jesus, Maya. Kudos for scoring a rich ass boyfriend. I was born for first class,” Keye said from her seat across the aisle as she sipped her champagne. “Is anyone else in the pack secretly loaded? I need to be more strategic about who I date.” Keye rambled. Maya rolled her eyes and smiled looking over at Becks. She had been quiet and subdued all day and Maya couldn’t blame her.

After Paul helped Maya coordinate flight and hotel details through Michael, she instructed Keye to go to Becks’ house to pick up everything she’d need after she picked up her own stuff. Maya made sure to order a car that would take them to the airport since Becks really didn’t want to be around anyone from the pack. But after Maya had tucked the groggy Becks into the town car with Keye, she walked back to the front porch where Paul was standing.

“Keep your phone on you,” Paul said a little breathless like he was already anticipating the dull ache that would grow in both of them.

“I will,” Maya said wrapping her arms up around his neck and stroking the back of his head with her hand.

“And just try to stay on the resort as much as possible. It would make me feel better,” he said leaning down to kiss on her cheek and along her jaw slowly. Maya relished in the feeling and closed her eyes for a second.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll call you everyday.” He lifted his eyes to meet hers and Maya couldn’t help but laugh a little, “You look like you’re about to have a heart attack.” Paul let out a frustrated sound and wrapped her in a tight hug, crushing her to his chest. “We’ll be fine. Treat this as a little test run for fall, yeah?” She pulled back to look up at him and was met with a painful grimace.

“Go before I keep you,” he said roughly. Maya rolled her eyes and leaned up to kiss him one more time. His grip on her was so tight she thought he would squeeze the breath right out of her. When he relinquished her, she skipped off to the car and turned to wave to him before hopping in. He gave her a curt wave and looked down at the ground. Maya’s heart only broke a little bit as they pulled away and she watched him standing in the doorway until she couldn’t see him down the drive anymore.

Now, nestled in the wide seat next to Becks and sipping champagne, Maya’s heart raced. Above her the intercom dinged.

“Good afternoon and welcome aboard 292 service to Kuaui. We appreciate you flying with us today. The remainder of our flight will run approximately 7 hours and 20 minutes. Please sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight with us on Hawaiin Airlines.”

Becks rested her head against the window and closed her eyes.

“My!” Keye said suddenly. Maya looked over at her. “There’s a whole fucking gourmet menu!” she gasped and looked over the fancy menu in front of her.

“Mmmm,” Maya said, taking another sip of champagne and letting out a little laugh.

After two movies, a prepared lunch, and a quick nap, they landed in Kuaui around 7 p.m. They grabbed their bags at baggage claim and spotted a driver who listed all three of their last names on a white card. They were taken straight to their resort, and by the time the concierge had shown them to their suite, Becks was dead on her feet. Keye steered her to her room inside of the large suite and Maya thanked the concierge. Keye came out a moment later and let out a long breath.

“Jesus christ, this place is beautiful,” she looked around the well decorated living room that housed low sprawling white couches facing a wide television. Fold away doors led out to a long balcony that overlooked the ocean. To the left was the master bedroom where Maya had deposited her bags. To the right were two other bedrooms, one faced a sprawling section of green garden. Maya popped a bottle of cold white wine chilling in an awaiting ice bucket and poured herself and Keye a glass before leading the way out onto the balcony.

They each plopped down in swinging chairs and Maya took a long sip of wine and listened to the waves pound the shore. “This is pretty fucking beautiful,” Maya murmured. She knew Paul had made sure to really spring for them but this was almost too much. Maya tucked her feet up underneath her and Keye looked over at her after a few minutes.

“So what’s our plan?” she asked. Maya closed her eyes tight. The biggest hurdle was getting Becks out of La Push and away from the pack. Away from where Jacob or Jeremy or Chief Black might find her.

“We wake her up first thing in the morning and yank her around this island and remind her that she’s still Becks, imprint or not.” Maya said firmly.

Keye nodded and Maya heard her take a few gulps of wine, “If I ever see that fucking reject…” she muttered. Maya snorted.

“Same. Knee straight to the balls,” Maya concluded, draining her wine glass and letting the warm salty summer evening air wash over her.

The next morning, Maya woke up to a few text messages from Paul. She had sent him a goodnight text before passing out last night on the giant king plush bed. She yawned and opened her messages,

Paul: Sorry I missed this. Glad you got in okay.

P: Area is clear for now.

P: Did you move my work gloves?

Maya laughed at the last one and when she leaned up in bed, she quickly hit the video call button. The line rang for two rings before Paul’s gorgeous face appeared on the screen.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he grinned. She could tell he was outside in his workshop. Maya smiled.

“Good morning. Did you find your work gloves?” she yawned again as she heard Paul shuffling around.

“No. Fuck. Are you sure you didn’t move them?” He said, glancing around his workshop again.

“Imprint’s honor,” Maya held up three fingers in mock salute.

“Alright, I’m gonna have to look again.” There was more shuffling and then he sat down in a chair outside, squinting in the late morning sun, “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” she yawned again, “Fuck, yeah this bed is wonderful, it’s just still kind of early here and I just woke up.” Paul paused for a beat and then said,

“It was weird sleeping without you in bed last night. I haven’t done that in awhile,” he looked away from the camera and then back at her. Maya smiled reassuringly,

“I miss you too,” she said softly. “Any sign of Jacob?” she said in a softer voice glancing toward the door.

Paul paused and then shook his head, “Not yet. He might have gone back to the Cullens but there’s no way to be sure just yet.”

“Okay, well keep me posted,” she said softly.

“My! You up? Breakfast’s here!” Keye called from the living room.

“I will,” Paul said.

“I gotta go, breakfast just rolled in. I love you. I’ll call you later?”

“Not if I don’t call you first,” he grinned and Maya laughed, “I love you too.”

“Bye!” she said, giving an exaggerated kiss at the camera before ending the call.

Maya wrapped herself in the robe hanging from the door and walked out into the living room to the feast that had been laid out in front of them. The bar top was filled with fresh fruit, croissants, fancy jams and creams, coffee, orange juice, pineapple juice, pancakes, oatmeal, and scrambled eggs. Becks was sitting on a barstool picking at a croissant and Maya hopped up on the chair next to her.

“Okay!” Maya said happily, clapping her hands together. Keye was drinking coffee out on the balcony and eating a bowl of pineapple. “We’ve got a ton of stuff we can do today, lay out on the beach with drinks, snorkeling, shopping, massages, manis and pedis, clubbing. What do you want to do today Becks?” Maya asked.

Becks looked a little better, the sleep having erased the dark circles under her eyes. Keye came bounding in. “Ooooh! Let’s get manis and pedis.” She looked at Becks who nodded and let a small smile come over her face.

“Great!” Maya confirmed. “We’ll start there.” She pet Becks’ hair back from her face and saw the tears well up in her eyes. “Oh Becks,” Maya said, standing to pull her into a hug. Becks devolved into sobs and Maya held her tightly, stroking her hair, “We’ll take it one step at a time, okay?”

She felt Becks nod into her shoulder. Maya shot Keye a look and they knew this might be a little harder than they bargained for.

After they finished their manicure and pedicures, they headed out to the beach and set up under a reserved cabana. Becks was starting to open up a little bit and when Maya pulled her into the water, the crashing waves pulling around them and pulling gleeful laughter from both of them, Keye made sure to take too many candid pictures of the two of them.

Maya made a mental note to send some of the pictures to Paul. She knew he’d enjoy them not only because she was wearing his favorite red bikini of hers but because the light that shone from her face as she and Becks were caught in each other’s arms with water splashing around them showed her as happy. Paul loved Maya happy.

After that, Becks was able to relax a little more and when they skipped off to go shopping late that afternoon to find some outfits for the club later that night, Maya was pleased to see that despite the ache she knew was there, Becks seemed to be holding her own.

As Becks tried on a short blue skirt at a local vendor that had set up closer to town along the beach, Maya perused the jewelry stall next door. Her eye caught on a glittering ring with a decent sized faux diamond that looked not unlike a wedding ring. Maya tried a few on her ring finger and found one that fit, admiring it in the sunlight. When the vendor approached her she paid her and pocketed the ring.

“That one for sure,” Maya said as she walked back over to Becks who was inspecting her ass in the short yellow skirt that flared out around her thighs playfully.

“I thought so too,” Becks said, giving her a wane smile. “It reminds me of the sun.” She said as she swiveled back and forth in it.

The night before they headed to an early dinner on the resort, Maya texted Paul to let him know they would be out for the night.

Paul: Text or call me when you get back to the room. I don’t care how late.

Maya shook her head with a smile. He was trying but this was a new experience for them both. They had never been so far from each other since the imprint happened and she was sure it made him nervous. She could tell he was trying to give her space to be with Becks and enjoy herself but his constant messaging gave him away that he was still very protective and the need to be near her was palpable for Maya.

When they arrived at the resort club after pregaming at dinner, Maya slipped the fake ring on her finger discreetly and held hands with Keye and Becks as they filtered easily into the club. The ring for the most part worked like a charm. Most men kept their distance from Maya and she thought it was a little annoying that something as simple as a ring and the statement it made kept them at bay.

Maya could tell Becks was letting go a little bit as she danced in and out of the arms of a few good looking men, but she excused herself to the bathroom a bunch of times. When Maya had followed her one of those times, she heard her in the farthest stall from the door trying to contain the sound of her heavy sobs. She waited in the stall next to her until Becks finally got up, flushed the toilet and walked out to the sink.

Maya followed and gave her a cheery “Hey!” to gauge her reaction, but by the time Becks had left the stall, she had gathered herself to near party going perfection again. “You good?” Maya raised her hand to smooth down some flyaways on Becks’ head. She nodded, gave her a laugh and a light, “Yeah!” before pulling her back out onto the dance floor.

Keye had disappeared behind some tall man at the bar and was making out with her next fling, while Maya, under the pulsing lights of the club was trying to quell the ache in her stomach by focusing on the music and promising herself not to check her phone right away. For the rest of the evening Becks and Maya danced close together. Maya tried to communicate silently with her eyes that everything would be okay and at one point, Becks leaned her forehead in to rest on Maya’s and they swayed for a minute in the darkened club.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” Maya said, even though she thought Becks wouldn’t be able to hear her. But somehow she had and Becks nodded, pulling back to give her a sad smile before resuming her peppy dancing.

When they returned to their suite, Maya pulled off her shoes and checked her phone. Keye scuttled into her bedroom with the dude from the bar who was also plastered and Maya could only hear a chorus of giggles and low murmuring after. Becks pulled open the fridge and grabbed out a bottle of water to drink. Maya noticed Paul had texted her again:

Paul: You look good in this.

Paul {Attachment.jpg}

He had included a picture that Keye had clearly taken that night of the three of them in the middle of the dance floor. Maya had her arm slung around Beck’s shoulder and the ring glittered in an opportunistic moment of light as the camera had captured them.

Maya smiled and typed back quickly:

Maya: Thank you, we had tons of fun but I missed you tonight. We’re back at the room now. Love you.

“Headed to bed?” Becks said as she sipped her water and watched Maya carefully. Maya quickly set her phone down and looked up at Becks with an almost apologetic look.

“Yeah, massages are in the morning. Don’t forget,” she said matter of factly coming around the counter to give Becks a kiss on the cheek.

The next morning after their massages, Maya, Becks, and Keye opted to lay out on a secluded part of the beach. Keye dipped to go for a swim and Maya, seeing a moment open, turned to look at Becks who had undone her black bikini top and was laying on her stomach.

“Becks,” Maya said softly in case she had drifted off.

“Mmm?” she responded after a moment not lifting her head.

“How are you feeling?” Maya broached. The ache her stomach had dulled somewhat but she wondered at how Becks had been fairing since they were in vastly different positions concerning their imprints. She could see Becks squeeze her already shut eyes tightly before opening them and looking at Maya carefully.

“How would you feel?” Becks started. Maya sat up and leaned back against her hands looking out over the water.

“Not good,” Maya said slowly, “I don’t know how it is for you, but Paul and I experience this growing ache when we’re apart for too long. For Paul….it becomes almost unbearable.” She looked toward Maya who was watching her carefully.

“Yeah, something like that,” she said in a strained voice.

“Becks….come on,” Maya said. Now she really knew something was wrong. Becks put an arm across her breasts as she leaned up and neatly refastened the straps. She mirrored Maya’s position and looked out toward the ocean before continuing.

“It’s like….one minute I’m fine and the next minute….I’m on fire,” she heard Becks’ voice hitch in her throat and she swallowed hard to clear it before she continued. “Everything in me wants to split apart into a thousand tiny pieces and just….find him.”

“And do what?” Maya said softly.

“And, I don't know, shake him? Ask him what’s his fucking deal? Ask him….why am I the last thing he wants?” She said this last part very quietly. Maya felt anger surge through her and she felt compelled to find Jacob now too, but she’d do more than just shake him. “Sometimes I…”

Becks choked up at this and Maya stared at her intently now.

“Sometimes I think about him...when I know I should be thinking about how much pain Jeremy is probably in,” tears were falling freely down her cheeks now, “But in every moment that I see Jeremy, I start to think about Jacob and how….and how at Paul’s party all I felt when I saw him was…”

“Relief,” Maya whispered. Becks eyes shot up to look at her.

“Yeah, and now that he just disappeared it’s like this fire is never going to go away. I hurt all of the time, My. All of the time,” she whispered barely over the sound of the waves, “And the one thing I know can fix it doesn’t even want to be near me.” Becks rubbed the tears angrily from her face now and Maya watched her, “And the real fucked up thing is that, I know I don’t want to see him. He’s clearly a fucking jerk and has his own fucked up shit he needs to work through. Running off with vampires?! Like what the fuck is that?!” She shot Maya an incredulous look, “But this imprint wants something else and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to ignore it like you were.”

“I didn’t ignore it,” Maya said gently. Becks watched her, watery eyed. “I couldn’t. At least not for long. And Paul and I are scared shitless about being apart this fall.”

“Yeah, but that’s because you love him now.”

“The imprint made it easier,” Maya said dismissively and then conceded, “But also yes, I love him so much and if we had somehow found one another independent of the imprint, I’d love him still.” Becks nodded and then after a quiet moment, she looked out over the horizon and said softly,

“That’s terrifying,” Maya let out a huff of air as she said this, “Especially if it’s meant to be with someone who doesn’t want you back.”

Maya wrapped her arm around her shoulder, “Just give it some time. We’ll figure this out,” Maya sighed and as she leaned her head on Becks’ shoulder, she could feel a knot in her stomach forming that told her she didn’t know if it would all work out. Not when it came to someone like Jacob.

The next few days passed in a similar fashion. The girls took their time getting up in the morning, and usually hustling Keye’s one night stand out of the suite before enjoying breakfast in the room, down by the beach, or at one of the local spots. They did everything the resort had to offer: sailing, snorkeling, parasailing, jet skiing, lounging on the beach, going to shows, dinners, and getting massages. They did everything they could to distance themselves from the reality of the imprint, the reality that awaited them back in La Push.

Paul had kept Maya looped in for the most part on their progress finding Jacob. He told her that he had stayed on the rez apparently, but had kept his distance. He’d even shown up at Sam and Emily’s once at his father’s request to talk things through with Sam’s pack. Paul did not elaborate on how this talk had gone but Maya got the distinct feeling from the look on Paul’s face that whatever it was, wasn’t good.

“When are you coming home?” Paul asked her one night. She was laying down by the pool under the warm lights and wrapped in her robe. It had been a full week now since they’d got there.

“Soon...I think. I don’t know. Are you feeling okay?” Maya asked. The ache had lessened for Maya which she found promising, but it seemed Paul was still feeling it. She watched him shift uncomfortably in their bed and he gave a great sigh.

“I miss you. I miss not being able to touch you whenever I want or knowing you’ll be in bed when I get back from rounds,” He rubbed his eyes.

“I know I miss you too. But at least you’ve been getting some work done at least, yeah?” she asked hopefully. Paul nodded and groaned,

“I think I’m going to start on the extension for the house when you leave this fall. Work seems to be the only thing that can preoccupy me long enough and keep me from chasing after you,” he gave her a smart smile and Maya laughed.

“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll be back soon, babe, I’m just...playing it by ear right now. For Becks. Coming back to the rez, especially if Jacob is there is going to be a lot for her.”

“I know. I just worry that the longer you guys are away…” he trailed off and yawned.

“The longer we’re away what?” she probed.

“Nothing baby, just come back when you guys are ready. I’ll take care of it,” he said sleepily.

On their tenth morning at the resort, Maya was having some coffee and breakfast out on their balcony and watching the waves. Becks had recently taken up surfing lessons in the past few days and would wake up before the sunrise and head down to the beach to practice with her instructor for a few hours. Keye was shut away in her room, sleeping off last night’s partying session with a bartender she’d met at the resort.

Paul had been unusually quiet since their phone call the other night. Maya had tried texting him a few times but had only gotten cryptic replies. Her calls went straight to voicemail and she was starting to get edgy.

Maya heard the door to their suite open and close, “How were the waves this morning?” she asked, turning in her chair to look over her shoulder. But instead of Becks, she was met with the towering figure of Paul standing by the kitchen counter, “Oh my god!” Maya couldn’t help the overwhelming rush of relief and butterflies that swept through her as she bounded out of her chair and bolted across the living room to toss herself into his open arms. He was smiling so big she thought his face would split in two.

“What are you doing here?” she breathed happily, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. When she pulled back to question him further, his lips were down upon hers in an instant. She let out a sight of pleasure as he set her on the counter so he could more easily access her mouth. He tasted like the forest, like home, and she welcomed it. His hands were running across her bikini clad body under the soft robe. She could feel him hard already between her legs and she smiled into the kiss. When his hands went to untie her bikini top, she stopped him, “Paul, Paul, slow down,” she breathed. He looked at her now, his face just inches from her, pure joy and relief coloring his face. “What are you doing here?” she said again softly, bringing a hand up to touch his face. He closed his eyes for just a second at the touch and then leaned up putting a hand on the back of his head,

“Uhhh,” he said, clearly stalling. Maya’s eyebrow arched and she folded her arms in front of her chest to try and keep the anxiety from rising in her throat.

Just then, Keye and the bartender came stumbling out of her bedroom. Paul’s head snapped toward him and he immediately stood more in front of Maya to block her from view.

“Who the fuck is this?” he asked a little too aggressively. Yikes, that jealousy came out quick, Maya thought to herself. She put a hand on his forearm to calm him. Keye rolled her eyes and came over to the kitchen counter to grab some food,

“We were just hanging out. Don’t throw a wolfy fit,” Keye shot back. Maya widened her eyes at her and then watched as Paul glared at the man who was buttoning his shirt with an awkward smile.

“You need to leave now,” Paul said in a firm voice.

“Uhh, he’s my guest, I can tell him when to leave,” Keye said, annoyed.

“Now!” Paul almost boomed. The guy gave an awkward laugh and held up his hands in surrender as he walked toward the door.

“Call me!” he said to Keye who gave him a wave. When the door clicked shut, Paul whirled on Keye.

“What the fuck, Keye?!”

“What?!” Keye shouted back, “I’m allowed to fuck whoever I want! I’m not a fucking imprint.”

“I don’t appreciate you bringing weird dudes in here while my fucking girlfriend is sleeping in the other room!” he boomed.

“Paul, chill,” Maya grabbed his hand and pulled him toward her, “We’ve been fine this whole time. Come here.” she pulled him into a hug and could feel him glaring at Keye over her shoulder. When she pulled back, she put both of her hands on his sides and said, “Now tell me, what are you doing here?”

“Yeah, I second that,” Keye said between bites. Paul’s mouth was set in a hard line as he looked over Maya’s face carefully.

“Paul?” Maya prompted.

“Jacob’s here,” he finally said. Maya’s eyes went wide in shock.

“WHAT?!” she yelled.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Keye echoed over her. Paul’s hands gripped tightly to Maya’s waist.

“Is that why you haven’t been answering the phone?” Maya said angrily. Paul gave her a stern look and she dropped her hands to cross them in front of her again. “This is fucked up, Paul.”

“He needs to see her,” Paul said, looking over her shoulder, not meeting her eyes.

“Yeah, when she’s fucking ready!” Maya said and scoffed, pushing on his chest so she could hop down from the counter.

“My!” Paul called after her as she went into the bedroom. He followed her and Maya dug in her drawers to find something to throw over her bikini, “Where are you going?”

“To find Becks and warn her. You should have told me.” Maya seethed.

“I came here to tell you,” Paul said, distressed.

“No! You came here with him to spring this on us! You could have just picked up the fucking phone, Paul,” she tried to storm past him but he grabbed her around the waist and she squealed in protest. “Let go!”

“Just wait a minute, My. Let me tell you what’s happening!” Paul pleaded as he held her tightly in his arms.

“Oh, now you want to tell me what’s happening?!” She pushed against him but he didn’t let her go.

“I needed to tell you this in person because it’s the only way it would have made sense,” Paul said cryptically and Maya groaned.

“Let me go, Paul.” her face screwed up in anger.

“My, please,” he said as she struggled in his grip again, “Stop!” When she finally managed to wriggle out of his grip, probably because he loosened his hold, she stomped toward the door.

“Keye, lets’ go,” Maya said. But just as Maya slipped on her sandals, a knock sounded at the door that made her freeze. Keye and Maya looked at one another terrified.

Paul moved past them to pull open the door and waiting on the other side was none other than Jacob Black.