#chaoticwrites

Traffic was the worst.

Returning from a work trip this late at night was more for your own mental health than necessity, you had to disconnect from work and escaping the hotel early was the best way to do it. But this was just plain awful, you had jumped onto a back road to avoid this exact scenario, it seemed you weren't the only one who wanted to avoid the holiday traffic on the highway.

The night air was filled with cicada and cricket song, the puff and rumble of cars and trucks, and the low cacophony of everyone's music melding into one sound. You huffed lightly behind the silver sedan in front of you, watching as a tiny hand emerged from the window to make a shadow puppet on the back of the 18 wheeler ahead and smiled.

The kid was probably even more bored than you were if they were resorting to shadow puppets.

Casually you reached out and matched her little dog face with a snake, since you wanted to avoid using both hands, and the shrill laugh of delight from ahead cut through the boredom as a larger -masculine- hand formed an even larger canine puppet that was protecting the smaller one.

In the glow of your headlights you smiled as the girl turned around in her seat to wave at you, the gesture returned outside of the window so she wasn't blinded trying to see through the lights, and you almost rejoiced when the traffic began to move. You shifted to the right to make a turn onto a different back road and noticed the silver car slowing just a hair.

As you turned off the road you glanced in time to see a man, a handsome man, wave at you along with his teenage daughter. You returned the gesture and focused back on the road, glad for the night being dark enough to hide the warmth on your face. You weren't one to call yourself desperate but the attention of a handsome man making you fluster this bad, a man with a daughter -and likely a wife- on top of it, should not have gotten you this bad.

“Ugh, I just need to get this out of my system.”

♡♡♡♡

Being set up for a blind date was not what he meant when he told Miracle Guy he wanted to be paid back for covering his patrol, the blond hero had taken Marcus’ advice and finally agreed to go to couple’s counseling to repair his struggling marriage. But this? Being set up with one of Heather's friends?

It was a damn shame but Marcus had hoped to run into someone else meandering around the city. But life wasn't some romance novel, and New York was a big state, he doubted he'd ever see that woman again.

Who was she? He could only believe she was kind, fun loving, if she decided to play -even briefly- with Missy. It had already been a week and his urge to see if his dash cam picked up that woman's license plate number had not disappeared at all.

He fiddled with the bouquet of flowers he brought with him, choosing one was tricky since he didn't want to being roses or carnations, it was a bit traditionalist but Marcus hadn't wanted to appear rude to his surprise date either. He picked mums and hoped she liked them, to avoid flowers with a romantic meaning.

The event was casual, an outdoor art exhibit, so he opted for a pair of black jeans with a gray plaid short sleeve, choosing to brush his hair back instead of slicking it to the sides like he did for work, and Marcus was glad he went for the glasses instead of contacts. A blend of super hero Moreno and causal dad Marcus.

“Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the flats I keep in my car. Heather didn't tell me I'd be walking around.”

He turned toward his date and froze, her shy smile was tinged with embarrassment, and then her eyes widened slightly. His mouth moved before he could stop it, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, and so did she.

“It's you!”

Your soul mark was a rain cloud shaped tattoo on your inner left wrist, hollow with little stars and mushrooms inside the cloud and small raindrops dotted down your arm turned into a little pool right before the bend of your elbow. By now there were plenty of self-proclaimed ‘experts’ who said you would meet your soulmate on a rainy night, that each raindrop was a day you would be near them but never actually talk to them.

Those ‘experts’ basically told you what you already knew and tried to charge you money for it, the mushrooms were a bit of a throw -you did have to give one guy creative credit when he said there’d be a fungi fueled apocalypse and that you’d meet your soulmate after it happened- but ultimately it wasn’t actual help.

All your friends around your home town had been quick to drag you out on nights it rained because of your mark, to bars or the movies or whatever public space they could think of, places where you would see or encounter people. They would try to get you to wear short sleeve and sleeveless shirts under your jacket for the chance that your match would notice, and while you were happy they were so invested in your happiness it was exhausting.

Moving away from your home city had been a bid for freedom in more ways than one, no longer under pressure to meet your person and no longer the only unmatched person in the group, the new acquaintances you had made through your new office were very much more your speed in regards to your marks and soulmate meetings in general. Escaping the corporate rat race for a private tech firm had been the best move you made, even if you’d end up fulfilling your duties on site at whatever contract location you had been assigned to and not around your other tech associates.

The general philosophy was: When you met them was when you met them, rushing to find them was only going to lead to unnecessary disappointment.

Which was why you were currently spending today’s rainy evening in a secluded bookshop with a lovely ambiance, the smell of paper and the soft sound of pages turning paired with the soft lighting gave it a magical feel. It was one of the only 24/7 bookstores you ever heard of, the owner Kathleen and her partner Louise were one of the cutest soulmate pairs you had met. You felt safe and warm, cozy as the pavement outside shimmered from the glow of the streetlights, and more importantly alone.

You were finally given an assignment at work so you’d promised to keep in touch with Bryn and the others at the office despite your assignment and then decided you needed some time alone.

Currently hidden in the corner of the shelves well out of sight, scouring the spines to track down the book on a research topic -the key differences between bacteria, fungi, and viruses- which you knew they had, you realized belatedly it was on the shelves above you and exhaled before grabbing one of the stools that were kept folded between the wooden bookshelves for people that were gravitationally challenged like you were.

Anyone that called you short could get stuffed.

Plus, the book wasn’t exactly on like a higher shelf near the middle, it was up there, and your exhale of irritation was soft as you scaled the stool to peruse the upper shelves. Humming in victory when you managed to find it, pulling the stout volume from between its neighbors and placing it into the tote style shopping bag over your shoulder, and when you tucked the stool away you began to meander to look for something to read for fun too.

There was someone at the register, all you could see was their broad back, the blue dress shirt was pulled pretty tightly and tapered into a fairly narrow waist; a cute little butt in black slacks and the brown belt to match his leather shoes, but you averted your eyes quickly when Louise caught you looking. Hurrying to hide behind the shelves because there was no way in hell you could come out of hiding until he was gone now, no doubt Louise had tattled since he loved to meddle.

Finding two fiction novels, one high fantasy and the other sci-fi, you decided that you had spent enough time and that he should be gone after what felt like ages. The door had opened and closed a few times, all you needed to do was get your books and go home. Rounding the corner with far more confidence than you felt you very nearly stopped dead in your tracks, the man was sitting in the reading area with his book open, and now you could see the cute patchy beard peppered with grays just like his dark curls.

He was fucking hot.

You hated that his eyes shot up to the sound of your books falling out of your hands, thankfully he hadn’t caught you staring because the second you fumbled the books you’d already diverted your attention -mostly- to try and catch them. Overwhelmed by the humiliation risk, since you were used to being surrounded by people on nights like this not easy to be singled out, your eyes began to water slightly.

“Hey are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?”

Those massive hands of his held all of your chosen books so easily in one of them, his brown eyes were soulful and soft, and his lower lip had the cutest little divot that you wanted to kiss.

“Oh, uh, ‘m just awkward and clumsy. Kind of, a uh, volatile combination for things like this.” Your awkward laugh tacked onto the end faded, taking your books from him as you both stood up, and you imagined that this was when he excused himself to get away from you. Instead of walking away from you he steadied your elbows and smiled, it made the hair on your arms stand up and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“I think you just need to get lost in a good book, let me buy you a tea since it’s still raining out there. I’m Benjamin Morales, but everyone just calls me Ben.”

You relented and sat with him at his table after introducing yourself and giving him your drink order, staring at the book he had open on the table with a soft smile. Constellations and Cosmos was a book you had a copy of on your shelf at home, a sort of ‘dummy’s guide to the universe’ style book, and you realized he had tests sitting on the table.

“You’re a teacher?”

“Yeah, I work at St. Lawrence High School, it’s hard sometimes but the kids are good even if they use a lot of lingo that I don’t always understand.”

He laughed when you nodded, your nieces and nephews did that and it was a struggle to keep up, you at least could ask them to translate it into “Millennial” for you though.

“I told my nieces and nephews to make an official translation guide, that they’d get rich really quickly off of it.”

“They would! That’s a genius idea, I’d buy the first copy.”

Both of you shared a laugh and you couldn’t help but glance at his arms, the long sleeve shirt hid what you were looking for unfortunately and there was no way you were going to ask him to roll his sleeves up. But you felt a very… intense feeling about him; like he was magnetic to a degree that was almost distracting.

“So, St. Lawrence? I, uh, start there in two days. Not as a teacher but, like, I’ll be a part of the tech team. PR, internet security, that sort of thing.”

“That’s excellent, they want me to do a seminar on appropriate use of devices and I could use someone to help me figure it out.”

You couldn’t stop the way your brows furrowed at his clear discomfort.

“You mean like not using the school wi-fi or computers to try and access porn or download potential viruses and malware?”

He hummed and grabbed his phone, pulling something up, and you blinked at the sudden shiny video of him on TikTok. You hated that you memorized the creator’s name, it wasn’t fair to him, but the video was honestly pretty decent for it being mashed up clips of moments when he was in class.

“Yes, but also these. They’ve been making thousands of these fancam videos, they’re everywhere! So, basically, the school wants to blanket ban all of it, they’re making a rule not to film the staff since they’ve just added more camera coverage to the entire building.”

“You can report the existing fancams to TikTok, that you’re in them without your consent, they’ll get taken down.”

He looked at you like you’d hung the moon.

“That doesn’t mean they’ll all just stop making them but I can help you at least try and clean up how many there are.”

“You have no idea how much I appreciate that.”

“Of course, Ben, let me help you.”

Spending time over tea reporting fancams of a cute teacher you’d be working with soon wasn’t what you imagined happening tonight but you wouldn’t complain, not when you had great company and a guy that you thought was genuinely sweet. Someone who, even if he wasn’t your soulmate, you could be happy with if he was single too.

“Did you hear?! Everyone saw Mr. Ben and Ms. Jenny out together at the mall, there’s no way they aren’t soulmates.”

It was inescapable, inevitable even, hearing it day in and day out.

“I heard Mr. Ben and Ms. Jenny are planning on getting married and having a honeymoon in Columbia.”

Rumors in a high school were very normal but recently these had been getting on your nerves, it wasn’t even the students’ fault or anyone’s really, just your own brain being dumb and making up things that clearly weren’t there. Ben had greeted you happily when you’d reported for your first day, going around and introducing yourself to the rest of the staff since your first order of business was to match faces to names as best you could.

Ben had given up reorganizing his classroom to follow you around and help you feel welcome with the other teachers, including the aforementioned Ms. Jenny, and you’d been forced to watch him tease the other woman about the posters on her walls that she’d been forced to put up over the fancam thing. As you’d expected the student body had been a mess after the first day seminar where the new rule against recording staff was announced, which meant that instead of making fancams they were now just doing what kids always did and playing the year-long telephone game.

Two weeks into the year and already you’d heard that the two were secretly married, getting married, or dating along with where they planned to go for their honeymoon. Honestly you wanted to ask them if they were paying for some of these events because traveling to all of these places on a teacher’s salary? In this economy? Absolutely not.

Kieran snorted softly beside you, the pair of you were walking around getting photos to put up on the school website for the “welcome back” article, his eyes on the pack of girls that had just disappeared into the girls room and delivered the latest rumor for the rumor mill of Mr. Ben and Ms. Jenny.

“What?” His eyes rolled skyward before he stopped to snap a photo of the main office, the bullet proof glass windows that still allowed the secretaries to look out were new along with the mechanical locks, but you understood the reasoning. All of the classrooms had tighter security features in this day and age, it was… depressing.

“I can’t believe we used to act this way too, kids are definitely creative.” He snapped a photo of the closed door of the Earth Sciences classroom, angling his body enough to get Luis and his students in the frame.

“What the rumors? I mean, Ben and Jenny do flirt a lot.” As you lifted your own camera, crouching just a bit to get a better shot of Jiho pulling her whisk out of the bowl and just the top of the student’s heads, you could hear Kieran stifle another soft laugh.

“You and I flirt a lot too, don’t mean we’re a thing.” He had a point and you rolled your shoulders in a shrug, snapping your photo right as Jiho turned her whisk to showcase the shine of the glossy batter as it ribboned off the utensil. Kieran went to go upstairs next, pointing to Ben’s open door, and you felt your face warm as the man walked right past it so you’d have to get the picture inside. Ben was animated as ever with his lectures and you crouched lower and snapped a few photos to get a good angle of the students taking notes.

Most of them were staring at him dreamily so you had tried to hide as much of that as you could, all it would take was one parent not liking the way the image looked and trying to report him for something stupid, it was why you went out of your way to keep faces out of your shots.

When your shoe squeaked loudly while you were getting up you were greeted by a surprised Ben who sheepishly closed his classroom door, it was a rule that some of the teachers struggled with still, and Kieran puckered his lips and made kissy faces at you when you rejoined him. Your nose wrinkled and you shoved him lightly, earning another laugh, before the two of you got back to work.

The cameras were always on and always being monitored now, after all, and while you were both on the cyber side of the security team the trained security officers hired to monitor the cameras weren’t afraid to be pricks whenever they felt like it.

“That’s why you don’t like it, you have a crush. You should tell him, the actual chances of meeting your soulmate are really low odds.”

Kieran glanced at your arm again, he’d seen your soul mark already, and you knew that he had a point; his soulmate was passed already, his tattoo nothing more than scar tissue now, and he’d spent a long-time turning people down because he’d wanted to meet the one.

“Well, I would need to know if he at least likes me back enough to give me a chance, it doesn’t help that he flirts with Jenny all the time.” You took pictures of the banners and posters about the school’s updated security measures, and hated that you were so twisted up over this. You should just do the adult thing, you knew, and invite him out somewhere. You were a modern woman and more than capable of asking a man out on a date, but something told you that Ben was… he’d be all encompassing.

The magnetic feeling you got when you were around him told you enough, that he’d be impossible to let go of, you were afraid of when affection would become love; that it would change you into someone possessive and toxic because you would never want to have a reason to walk away. You saw it in your family plenty of times, aunts and uncles turning aggressively jealous, your own parents were a brand of toxic that left a sour note in your life and you were terrified you’d inherited that behavior.

Dating and marrying outside of your soulmate was difficult, because what were you supposed to do if your someone met The One other than be happy for them?

Kieran patted your back gently and followed you down the next hall, changing the conversation for your sake.

“You going to the football game tonight?”

Ben’s voice interrupted your quiet, the school webpage backend code currently up on your monitor as you worked to change up a few of the links for the newsletter page, everyone else was already gone since the first football game of the season was a big deal here. Ben was leaning on the door way with his coat on already, signifying he was headed out, and you shrugged in response. You had almost gone to invite him yourself when you’d spotted him and Jenny talking about saving each other a seat on the bleachers, choosing to just walk away instead of look like an idiot when it was obvious that was a date plan.

“I don’t really know, probably not, reliving my own marching band days isn’t really something I’m keen on doing.” You hadn’t meant to confess that much but just outright saying no felt like a coward move, a chair was pulled out beside yours and Ben sat down with an amused look on his face that made your own face warm up.

“Marching band? You? Wait let me guess, you played… tuba?”

“Nope.”

Your keys clacked away as you modified the first of five links, pasting in the paragraph of text you’d written to go with the new link.

“Trumpet?”

“Nah-uh.”

He hummed loudly, contemplating, and you nearly choked when he took your right hand to look at it carefully. Running his fingertips over your skin softly, inspecting your palm like it told all your secrets.

“Saxophone?”

“Strike three, Ben, you’re out.”

If he caught the airiness in your tone he didn’t make a notice of it, you were almost breathless from the way he was still just gliding his fingertips along your skin. When he brushed the sleeve of your cardigan, near your soul mark, you flinched slightly and it was enough for him to let go. He must’ve seen the very top curve of the cloud on your skin, his lips parting to ask, and you pulled your arm away to finish up what you were doing.

“I played clarinet, saxophone wasn’t so far off.”

Ben huffed softly at your very obvious intent to avoid talking about what he’d gotten a peek of but he indulged this time.

“That means you’re good with your hands, huh?” He smirked and you knew he meant that double entendre, making your entire body ignite under the way his dark eyes met yours. It was intense and you felt like the oxygen in the room had thinned out or something, but as you finished and saved the new data for the website you glanced at him again.

You got up and smirked, grabbing you jacket and bag, before reaching out and ruffling his curls gently.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Ben’s face erupted into a flush and he didn’t follow you out, too busy gaping at your back, a thrill of victory rippled through you for being the one to fluster him this time. Especially with his date with Jenny soon, the fact that he even flirted with you while planning a date actually made you wonder if she knew that he was doing this behind her back. As you got into your car you made a snap decision to show up to the game, if only to tell Jenny that Ben was flirting behind her back.

It wasn’t actually cheating, you hadn’t kissed him or anything, but you didn’t know if you were the first or if she might consider flirting as cheating. You tossed together a quick light meal, it was nostalgic as hell but you kind of wanted a concession stand dinner, and picked a warmer outfit for the weather. September wasn’t too chilly at night but you didn’t want to wear a heavy jacket, it would be more comfortable to just layer up.

The bleachers were packed with parents and teachers already, the football team was stretching and getting ready as the other school’s marching band got ready for the opening field show, and you spotted Kieran and Jackie waving at you. Striding up to where they were sitting, plopping down beside Jackie, you ignored the way she leaned into her soulmate Anna’s side and pointed out two of the players as students that had tried to buy their way onto the front of the school newsletter.

“Surprised you came out, didn’t think you liked high school football.”

“I was a marching band kid, lots of memories.”

As the other team started playing, a marching band adaptation of movie soundtrack hits with their choreography being something relating to the corresponding movie, you couldn’t help but feel wistful for a minute. A smile settled on your face, just being out here in the crisp September air again, smelling concession stand hot chocolate and hot dogs, brought you back to your teen years.

“Oh? Any good memories?”

Kieran looked genuinely curious and you hummed lightly.

“Well, we did competition marching band, so I got to attend statewide contests; I hated trying to get changed on the bus, we had to wear long johns under our clothes so that we could stay warm and not end up showing too much. But I think the best memory was getting a first kiss under the bleachers from my crush, a cheerleader, but it didn’t work out obviously; she found her soulmate during Festival Disney in our Junior year. I avoided dating, after that, because I just… I got scared of the idea that I’d fall hard and then they’d meet their person.”

“Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I was that person who found my soulmate while I was with someone else. We’re sort of friends, it’s a hard situation.” Anna offered a pained smile at their confession, making you nod, and you could tell Jackie felt guilty and imagined it was because the ex was either in the area or worked at the school as a teacher.

“That why you’re afraid to fess up to Ben?” Jackie leaned on her hand and you huffed softly.

“Yea, that and I’m pretty sure Jenny wouldn’t like me poaching her boyfriend.”

Anna’s eyes widened but before she could say anything you heard your name, spotting Ben and Jenny waving along with a few other teachers following them up.

“You made it, excellent, feels good to be back right?” Ben’s sunny smile looked somehow more vibrant under the intense lighting, this early in the year it wasn’t too dark yet but it would be soon, and you hated that Kieran had to nudge you to snap you out of your little trance. Nodding frantically, to avoid looking like an idiot, it was all you could do to not leave when Jenny sat down and Ben claimed the seat beside her.

Larry, Micah, Luis, and Jiho sat somewhere around you so that the staff was mostly together; parents began piling in as the school marching band walked under the bleachers to get to their seats on the other side, and the announcers began to get things rolling. One of Anna’s senior sopranos performed the National Anthem, leading to thunderous applause, and you let yourself sink into the game rather than focusing on the fact that Ben could turn his head to look at you at any time.

Passing out praise to the band members for their halftime show, while heading to the stand to get yourself a hot chocolate and something to eat, you felt the hand slide into yours and blinked as Ben stepped up beside you.

“Sorry, didn’t want to lose you in the crowd.” His hand was warm in yours, your heartbeat starting to thunder slightly, and you noticed the way several students whipped their heads around to look at the two of you.

“How’re you going to do this when our hands are full?”

“Actually, before we go back I was hoping I could talk to you, privately?” When you nodded he led you away from the stand, just off the side but mostly out of sight by anyone since there was freezer truck for the extra food. You felt that stirring in your heart, being alone like this, and hoped you didn’t look like you were going to pass out.

“So, uh, what’s up Ben?”

He squared his shoulders and squeezed your hand, looking a little lost, before finally he seemed to just work up all the nerves he had.

“I really, really, like you and was hoping that maybe since this can’t be a first date you’d let me take you out? The bookshop café is pretty nice?”

He was asking you out, on a date, while he was… on a date? You weren’t used to getting things about people like him wrong, he’d seemed so genuinely kind, it was almost a slap in the face if you had to be honest with yourself.

“Your girlfriend won’t mind? I’m not a unicorn that’s willing to do a three way.”

That had to be it, he and Jenny wanted a third so they’d decided to try and convince you to be that person, you’d been baited on dating apps hundreds of times by a possible night out with someone only to find out there was a partner involved. Ben’s shocked face, entirely confused, was almost believable.

“Girlfriend? What are you talking about, I’m single.”

“So you didn’t invite Jenny to the game on a date, promising to save her a seat like the dutiful boyfriend you are? I hear the kids talk, Ben, you’re always with her even though you flirt with me and it’s really not cool. I don’t want to be the butt of a joke, okay? I won’t tell anyone about this I just-“

“Jenny isn’t my girlfriend.” His voice dropped into a low pitch, there was frustration on his face but not aimed at you -how you could tell you didn’t know, you just could- and Ben sighed so loudly that you almost expected students to show up with cameras any second. The fancams hadn’t stopped but they had slowed down, especially with you and Ben reporting them whenever you came across any, you’d been in a couple of them too.

Feeling vulnerable, defensive, you crossed your arms and waited for his explanation.

“I’m serious, her soulmate Breanna couldn’t make it tonight since she works til midnight, Jenny is my best friend but there’s nothing romantic between us. I’ve been with her asking advice to try and ask you out, actually, because you never- sometimes you flirt back but then you’ll ice me out.”

He looked just as vulnerable as you felt, grabbing his phone and showing you Jenny’s social media with Breanna and even letting you see their text history, it was literally him asking about advice on flowers and if he should get a restaurant reservation or just wing it.

“Ben-“

“I know it’s hard to date someone that isn’t your soulmate but can we try? Please?”

Before you could chicken out you were ripping off your flannel, ignoring his ‘hey woah’ as you rolled up the sleeve of your undershirt, and showed him the very obvious mark.

“Can’t you see, Ben? This isn’t a cute little soul mark that I can throw make up on and hide, this will always be here staring at me and you, other people couldn’t do it before and I’m so tired of being hurt. This mark always reminded people that someone else was out there-“

“Me. I’m right here.”

His four words stopped your tirade entirely as he rolled up the sleeve of his shirt, his matching mark staring back at you, making your entire body ignite like fireworks were going off under your skin. You felt the tears forming in your eyes, disbelief and relief and excitement, and Ben reached up to wipe them away; you couldn’t help but touch his mark, skating your fingers along the black lines, and his breath caught slightly at the contact. He tipped his head down toward yours and you closed the gap, gripping the jersey he’d worn tightly to hold him still as his arms wound around your body and pulled you closer.

You would have continued, you would have let him do whatever he wanted to you, if it weren’t for the throat clearing of a senior staff member who had come out to get more stuff from the cold truck. Ramon, the librarian, rolled his eyes and pointed to the parking lot.

“Hurry up, nobody noticed yet, before you two end up with even more fancams showing up on TokTok or whatever it is.”

Hiding your face in Ben’s chest, his own giggles above you making you laugh too, it was easy to grab your flannel and head for the parking lot. Now that the fuse had been lit you couldn’t stop it, wanting his hands on you this very second. Ben pressed you against your car, shamelessly caging you against the driver’s side door and you let him, one leg hiking up to pull him closer and his hands grabbing your ass to make you grind against him.

“Gonna- gonna have to stop before I fuck you against your car, sweetheart.”

“Yours or mine?”

His groan as you began mouthing at the long line of his neck made you double your efforts to find all his soft spots and Ben’s hand kneaded your ass in retaliation.

“My apartment isn’t soundproofed but I don’t care-“

“Mine, not ready to give your neighbors an audio show just yet. My house is pretty set back from the road and I have distance from the neighbors.”

Ben captured your mouth again and you felt the tears on his cheeks when you moved your hands to hold his face.

“I’m so happy that we found each other, sweetheart.”

“Me too, Ben, me too.”

He pulled away to get his car, entirely reluctant on both of your parts, but you knew the rumors would start if you had to bring him back on a Saturday to pick the vehicle up. Call it selfish but you wanted a little more time without the entire student body knowing about you and Ben, even if the truth would eventually get out. The drive to your place felt long, with you constantly checking the rearview to make sure Ben was still there, and as you pulled into your driveway the garage door opened and you parked on the left side like always.

Ben hesitated but pulled into the right when you pointed, the door closing behind his car, and he whistled when he shut and locked the car door.

“Fancy.”

“Former fortune five-hundred IT slave, more like, this was bought with my severance pay.” It had been a relief to get out and move to the smaller tech company, being contracted to work at the school was a bonus, and you had played it smart with your check to make sure you could cover yourself when needed. House bought out in full, car bought in cash, and a good chunk still left for home emergencies if they popped up.

Ben’s smile was fond, even with the heat burning in his eyes, and he cupped your cheeks to kiss you again.

“Should I apologize that my teacher’s salary is shit?”

“No, I know you teach because you’re passionate about it. That is far sexier to me than you making a lot of money.”

Ben chuckled and you led him out of the garage, giving him a tour of your place first, and you had to bite your lip because he recognized every art print on your walls and had given details about them that you didn’t know. It was so damn attractive how passionate he was about things and by the time you made it to your bedroom the stolen chaste kisses, the light touches, and the way he whispered facts about your art in your ear had you ready to get on your knees for this man.

“I didn’t know you knew that much about classic art, Ben.”

“Thought about being an art teacher, took classes about Art History in college, but I changed my mind and went for science instead.”

He hesitated in the doorway to your bedroom and cleared his throat gently.

“If you want me to stop, at any time, tell me. I mean it, if you aren’t enthusiastic or you just don’t feel it that won’t chase me off. I just want to learn more about you and be with you.” If you’d had any reservations before they were gone, you sat down on your bed and dropped the flannel to the floor without a care for where it landed.

“I am enthusiastically consenting to you getting naked and fucking me into this mattress, Ben.”

His eyes raked across your form, he’d left his leather jacket downstairs on the coat stand so he pulled his jersey over his head and tossed it aside leaving him in the white undershirt and his jeans. Stilling your grab for your placket and kissing you before getting down on his knees between your spread legs, pulling your socks off first and nuzzling the denim hugging your legs as his hands caressed the outside of your thighs and moved inward.

“Take your shirt off for me, sweetheart, slowly.”

Ben’s voice was liquid honey and you grabbed the back of your shirt collar, tugging at the back of the fabric and moving a little slower than usual so that your skin and bra were the show he wanted. The sound of his throaty groan made you feel sexy, even with the extra rolls you had that you often poked at in the mirror on your bad days, Ben surged up so fast that his knees cracked but neither of you paid it any mind as his legs pushed your thighs open so he could kiss you and his hand fumbled with the shirt trapping your arms.

The fabric hit the floor after a moment of struggling, his mouth never leaving yours, and he cupped the curve of your breasts in his hands before his thumbs swirled over your nipples and you arched into him. Ben let out a soft sound as your hands went right to his hair, sliding back to grab at his shirt, and he let you pull the white fabric off him fully. You were distracted by the sight of your shared soul mark on his skin, capturing his arm to kiss the mark, and his eyes fluttered closed before he let himself just press you into the mattress.

The weight of him over you, the feeling of the slight swell to his soft tummy, the way the curve of his nose felt against yours and his lips skating along your skin made gooseflesh erupt along your skin. You were leaking with how bad you wanted him, you could feel how wet you were, and every nerve ending felt like it was alive with sensation as he breathed you in.

“I want to do this slow; I really do, sweetheart.”

“You can have me any way you want me, Ben.”

He whimpered, whimpered, at your reply before dragging his mouth down your body; down your neck and across your collar bones, cataloguing every single spot that made you writhe for him, and when he mouthed at your nipples under the fabric of your bra your back arched into his mouth and your hips pressed into his body as his hands held your waist.

“Ben- fuck!”

Having his teeth pinch lightly through the fabric, the sharp sensation soothed by the wet of his tongue as he dampened the fabric, you couldn’t control the way your hips jumped or your mouth. You weren’t above begging for what you wanted, the fact that this was your soulmate only compounded the sensations, the desire to just be as close to him as physically possible was overwhelming to a near painful degree.

“Please- please Ben I need-“

“Tell me, sweetheart, tell me what you need.”

“I’m- I’m so wet, Ben, please I need you to make me come.”

His groan was musical and his hands tugged your jeans down your legs, spotting the way the fabric of your underwear was so messy that the crease of your thighs and the insides of your thighs were slick with your desire.

“Sweetheart.” Incredulous and awestruck, the word was a throaty rasp as he dragged his finger along the fabric covering you, and when you whimpered his name Ben pulled the fabric down your legs and pressed one finger against your entrance.

“I’ve got two condoms in my wallet, I’m clean though and I have my physical from last week on my phone, it’s been a while since I’ve dated.”

“Clean too, it’s been a while for me, I’m on birth control so you don’t have to use the condoms if you don’t want to.”

He stared at you, as if he were debating, and you had to admit you were surprised that he did in fact grab one of his condoms. When he caught your eyes following his hands as he emptied his pockets onto your night table, phone and keys joining his wallet, Ben winked and waved the condom with a hum.

“Statistically speaking the percentage is an almost guarantee that I won’t get you pregnant, but I’m not going to risk it. If you want, we can discuss a vasectomy for me sometime until we know for sure what the future looks like, if you wanted to go off birth control I mean.”

Him standing there, offering to get a vasectomy, holding a condom in his hand with your soul mark branded on his skin was probably the hottest thing you’d ever had happen in your life.

“Put that condom on and fuck me, Ben.”

Watching the way his eyes widened before he nodded, not looking away as you took your bra off, Ben grabbed a towel from your master bathroom when you went to get settled on the bed fully before he was stripping off his pants and boxer briefs in one go. You both had wanted to go slow but the sight of him, hard and leaking, made you practically gush; he had even grabbed you a damn towel and that consideration had you reaching for him as soon as the condom was on.

Ben smiled fondly but it melted to a look of bliss when he leaned down to kiss you and you grabbed a handful of his cute little butt to grind against him, dragging the length of him through your wetness, his mouth parting against yours before he shifted his knees just slightly and rocked against you with the intent for friction. You moaned when he brushed your clit, his body pressing tighter to drag along that spot, and Ben angled your face into the kiss while you lifted your legs to angle your hips.

“Feel so fucking good like this, sweetheart I’m not going to last-“

“Me either, please Ben don’t make me wait.”

It was slow, the way he pressed into you, the thickness of him was a burning stretch but you wanted it.

“Next time I’m going to make you come on my fingers, on my tongue, at least twice before I fill you up; gotta- gotta make sure it feels good for you.”

“It does- Ben it does feel good.”

He pressed his forehead against your shoulder as his hips slotted to yours, bending his knees and pushing your legs wider, and you stared up at him as he pulled himself upright to watch where he filled you with each thrust. Holding your arms in a backward hold so both of you could see your matched soul mark on the other’s skin.

The drag of him, the heft of him gliding against you with each in and out motion was drawing small gasps and sharp whines out of you as he whispered your name like a damn prayer; like he couldn’t get enough, like he couldn’t believe you were real. Ben dropped down to get closer to you, thrusts becoming a harsh grind of his hips as he kissed you deep, and the way his body was rubbing against your clit with each motion had you beginning to feel yourself fall.

“Ben-Ben~”

Your cry of his name was cut off into a loud moan as you came, hard, around him; the velvet clutch of your body trying to keep him inside of you as he worked you through your orgasm, his motions become a sharp humping motion.

“Fill me up Ben.”

He cried out your name loudly, it was so sexy to hear him the raspy call of your name as his hips stuttered, and you both just laid there for a moment breathing; the weight of him was comforting, the feel of his mouth against your neck made you turn your head, and he captured you mouth in a lazy kiss. You let him roll you over, so you were on top of him, and he nuzzled your forearm where your soul mark pulsed like a heartbeat.

The hooded eyes and natural pout of his lips made you lean down to kiss him, earning a soft smile, and you nuzzled your nose to his gently.

“Now will you say yes to a date?”

“I’ll say yes to all of the dates, Ben, if it’s you.”

His smile was soft, shy, and tender as he cupped your cheek and hummed.

“Even if its dorky science dates or museum days?”

“Absolutely. As long as you don’t mind botanical gardens and nature walks, or classes on things like pottery and cooking.”

“Sweetheart, I promise you that I’m a teacher but I’m a very attentive student.”

The tone absolutely implied his mind went elsewhere but you didn’t care, smirking fondly at his own raunchy smile, and you traced the shell of his ear with one of your fingers.

“I’ll have to make sure I help you study, got some things you don’t know yet that’ll be on the quiz.”

He laughed, and you laughed too, at the cheesy remarks.

“I think we should not do that, at least not until I retire, I cannot pop a boner in class because someone says quiz.”

He was still inside of you, still holding you close after just making you have an earth shattering orgasm, and now you two were cracking jokes. He was perfect for you.

“Well, we can’t have that at all. Just means we’ll have to come up with other sexy innuendos.”

“Or I can just tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve met and that I’ve had a crush since the bookshop.”

“I too started crushing on you at the bookshop.”

“I know, Louise told me you were staring at my butt.”

“It’s a cute butt.”

He rolled you to your side, on the towel still, so he could pull out to get cleaned up and you watched his back with a smile. Wolf whistling and earning a fondly exasperated look over his shoulder, your arm held in a way that let him see the mark so clearly on your skin, and Ben returned after cleaning himself and you up to pull you against him under the covers.

“Can I stay the weekend?”

“Not going to grab clothes?”

“Will I need them?”

“No, not really.”

All Fics Taglist: @haylzcyon @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @tauralmie @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry @all-the-way-down-here

Somehow you weren’t surprised to find that your living room was upended, the couch and loveseat shoved as far back as they could be while Dieter held his body in a wobbly tree pose, and you took a long moment to just watch him from the entry hall of your apartment. His usual “athletic attire” of baggy sleep pants and a tee shirt were traded out for gym shorts and a tank top, they were definitely new since you didn’t recognize them, and you admired the way the purple fabric looked against his skin as Dieter struggled to keep his balance.

The television volume was low enough that he should have heard you come in, meaning he was either aware and just not paying attention or Dieter had truly gotten absorbed into the yoga program, so you went about unpacking your empty lunch containers to be washed and get yourself out of the now dry sweaty clothes you’d been wearing all day. Slipping into the shower, wanting to clean off the dried sweat and be able to relax, you couldn’t help but sigh as you let the hot water beat against your skin and work to relax your sore muscles.

Lingering in the shower, even after you were clean, you couldn’t help but hum as you stretched your own limbs to work out as much of the lingering discomfort as you could. Lugging around boxes upon boxes of heavy parts at work, since it was an inventory counting day, had left your arms feeling like noodles and your legs burned from the ache of all the lifting and walking you’d done.

Out of all the celebrities you’d ever met on a movie set Dieter was the only one who looked at you the same way he looked at every other person, he had asked if you wanted to have sex with him and despite your refusal he’d been kind. That kindness had sparked a horrendous crush; one that you’d never expected anything to come out of since he was an Oscar winner and had a history dating celebrities and fucking underwear models.

Someone like you was not even close to being on his radar, but you’d somehow managed to become his friend over the course of shooting and now Dieter spent a lot of time crashing at your place rather than his home in Beverly Hills, and all the proximity was doing was making it hard to deny that you truly had feelings for him. One of your hands skated up to circle your nipple and the other slid down to run along your folds in a teasing way, you’d seen him in a wide variety of comfortable loungewear before but something about his purple shorts and white tank-top did it for you.

“F-fuck.” The word slipped out before you could bite your lip, imagining that it was Dieter’s careful touch instead of yours, and when you circled your clit with a breathy exhale you knew that you’d have to rush when you heard the drag of the furniture through the door. You worked your body with precision, letting your mind wander to the idea of Dieter coming into the bathroom unannounced and joining you, so when you did manage to finally come it was on the edge of unsatisfying but still took enough of the tension off.

It was just in time as a knock sounded on the door.

“Gonna use all the hot water in there?”

“Piss off, it’s my apartment.”

Your reply earned a laugh and you snorted softly as you turned everything off and got out, after a quick rinse of course, and throwing on your loungewear before daring to exit the bathroom. Dieter studied you as you stepped out into the living room, which he’d put back to rights for you, and as you grabbed one of your books from your reading stack he headed for the bathroom next.

One of the best things about your apartment was the double casement window you’d turned into a reading nook, building a thickly padded bench with shelves for books beneath and between two taller bookshelves that framed the window which you could lean against and LED lights were fastened into the front of the shelves and softened by a shaded resin cover so that you always had light to read if you needed it.

While your window did open to your balcony the outdoor space was not protected that well from the elements, so on rainy days you could still enjoy the fresh air without risking getting drenched by cracking your casement windows open just a little.

You were pretty far into your book when Dieter nudged you and gestured to your breakfast bar -which was where you ate since you didn’t need a dining table- where he had set up dinner. The mess piled by your sink made you glance at him; he didn’t like cooking so the fact that he had made dinner was enough to have you wondering if you’d done something or he’d gotten some big role. Dieter had gone for vegan tacos, his distrust of wireless technology had spiraled into an almost comedic distrust of heavily processed foods.

“Thank you for making dinner.” Dieter blinked and hurried to swallow the mouthful of food he’d taken, you couldn’t help but wince given that he’d hardly even chewed it.

“If I’d left it to you then something tells me we’d end up getting take-out.” The jab was playful so you didn’t take offense to it, mostly because he was right, and you couldn’t help but nudge him before beginning to eat. The pair of you watched some YouTube videos from his iPad together as you ate, laughing over professionals critiquing life hack videos related to their field, and you even mentioned a few of your embarrassing stories about needing to learn to fix things when you first moved out.

By the time you were both cleaning up the dishes your ribs hurt from laughing, your cheeks ached from smiling, and Dieter was red in the face. It was so easy to be around him, even with his occasional drug use the man had never hurt you or scared you, and especially moments like these you knew why you’d developed a crush on him. It didn’t help that he liked to lounge around shirtless in a bathrobe and shorts, like he was doing now, for some reason his arms were the parts of himself he wasn’t entirely keen on showing.

Dieter dried off the last pot and put it away, wiping your counter down with a Clorox wipe, and you couldn’t help but notice that he had a new tattoo on his hand that you didn’t recognize.

“Dee?”

It was four little spines with a date in the middle and bands making a circle between the spines, he followed your gaze and finally looked up at you.

“I uh, that’s when I decided to go clean.” He showed you the NA Google search result and your eyes misted over before you could stop yourself.

“That was six weeks ago- I’m so proud of you Dee.” His lips lifted into a smile and the hug he gave you as you squeezed him tightly made your skin tingle, you’d always believed he could –and would- be able to beat his addiction with the right motivation and drive. You wanted to ask why, what happened that he decided enough was enough, but you also didn’t want to keep talking about it since you could tell he was uncomfortable thinking about his goal to get better.

The inconsistent yoga times made sense now, he’d started about six weeks ago, it was a way for him to do something else whenever he got the urge to use.

“Thanks, I- I appreciate you more than you know.” His voice caught and you stepped back to look up at him, wondering if something was wrong, but the expression on his face was all softness. He leaned down and kissed you, before you could ask him if he was okay, and the touch of his lips on yours sent chills from the back of your neck down to your toes.

When you leaned closer, when you let yourself surrender to the affection that you’d only dreamed of, was when Dieter pulled you closer and kissed you like he wouldn’t be able to breathe otherwise. It was intense, desperate, and you were swept up in his mouth on yours. Hands burrowed into hair and his curls were soft between your fingers as he gripped you tight enough that it felt like he was trying to embed the ghost of his fingerprints into your skin.

The smell of the Clorox solution from the open container was jarring when he knocked it over in his attempt to drag you out of the kitchen, the liquid spilling onto the tile floor and soaking into your socks, and Dieter made an annoyed grumble into your mouth before he hurried to tidy up his mess and make sure you didn’t slip. The pair of you burst into giggles as he finally helped slide you out of the kitchen onto the carpeted living room floor, your socks quickly removed and feet wiped down with a paper towel, and you took pleasure watching him grab your mop and just run the solution over your floor instead of fighting it.

“You should wash your feet, so the chemicals don’t irritate your skin.” Dieter’s concern made you smile, shucking your socks into your hamper, and you took the time to brush your teeth as well as freshen up. Even if nothing but kissing happened –unlikely- you were buzzing with anxiety and dealing with all your stupid insecurities trying to rear their ugly heads. You made it two steps into your bedroom before Dieter’s hands were grabbing at your hips and dragging you back against him as he slotted his mouth against the side of your neck.

You spun in his hold and Dieter pulled back a moment to study your face, his eyes wide and his expression vulnerable, and you offered him your softest smile. You knew he was really insecure, under all his Hollywood bluster, so you didn’t push him for an answer and instead waited for him to either speak or return to what he was doing. Dieter’s expression melted to something serene and his next kiss was slower, deeper, and stoked the earlier arousal that you’d tried to get rid of in the shower.

Each slow step backward was taken as one unit, his grip was firm but no longer riding the edge between pleasure and pain, and Dieter spun so his back hit the mattress first. You grinned down at him as you moved up onto your hands and knees over him, feeling his hands slide along the outside of your hips and around the curve of your ass, and Dieter moaned when you dipped your head to lick into the little hollow between his collar bones before sinking your teeth into his pectoral and sucking a mark into the soft muscle.

He wheezed your name when you teased one nipple with the tip of your finger, hips jumping below you, and when you met his eyes again Dieter’s cheeks were tinted with color and his pupils were blown wide in the dim light of your room. You winked at him, ignoring his little breathy whimper of a reply, and dragged your tongue against the dusky skin before drawing it into your mouth fully and taking a good bit of delight at his throaty curse as his hands squeezed your ass and pulled to try and guide you down onto him.

“No, Dee, let me take care of you.” He whimpered again and you licked your lips as you took in his bare chest, delighting in how his breathing went erratic as you dragged your fingertips down the soft skin. You had told him many times that you appreciated his softness, that he wasn’t busting his ass to try and fit some ridiculous physical standard, and being able to admire him this close was making your mouth water.

This alone was making you wet, having him here at your mercy definitely helped, but being free to admire and touch and kiss the things he was insecure about to prove to him that he was perfect just made it better. Your body clenched at the idea of grinding against his treasure trail, of wrapping your thighs around that soft area and smearing yourself all over him, but you didn’t want to overwhelm him either. You dragged your mouth along the soft skin of his tummy, hands pressing into it to feel the softness of it; dragging the tip of your nose up his happy trail before rounding his naval and sucking a mark into his skin. You loved feeling it under your hands, pressing your cheek into it and nuzzling, just everything about how real he was and how damn good he looked with his cute tummy made you feral for him.

Dieter’s hips jumped again when you began leaving marks all over it, tracing your fingers along the skin, just indulging in showing him how beautiful and sexy this was to you.

“You- you really like my tummy, huh?”

“I love it, Dee.”

Your firm answer made his lips lift into a tentative smile and you couldn’t help but decide he needed to know how much you cared for him, loved him, as he was now. You dragged off your sleep pants and panties in one go, kicking them aside as you tugged your sleep shirt off too, and Dieter moaned at the sight of you standing there in front of him.

“Going to be a good boy and take off your pants?” Your teasing remark made him choke on his own breath before he hurried to get naked, your eyes landing on the four shining silver bars that were decorating the underside of his cock, and your brain definitely shorted out momentarily at the sight. Dieter reached for you and you motioned for him to get on the bed proper, his head hitting the pillows, but you leaned down and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose first.

“I’m going to take care of you, Dee.”

“I know you are, cariño.”

You climbed up on the bed but turned your back to him as you moved to straddle his waist, the wet glide of your pussy against the softness below you made you moan and Dieter’s hands gripped your outer thighs.

“F-fuck, you’re going to ride my tummy? Christ above-“ His already wrecked words turned to a wheezy exhale when you used one hand to brace yourself on his thigh and the other to play with his cock while rolling your hips and grinding down on him. One good lick to your hand, so you could moisten the skin, led you cupping his cock firmly enough to feel good but not to become uncomfortable around his piercings. Dieter’s cock jumped at the touch, throbbing in your hand, and his fingers dug even tighter into your skin as the man uttered curses in Spanish and English beneath you.

He tightened his core and your breathy exhale of pleasure became a long moan, the arousal from earlier combined with having him below you like this was making you throb with the desire to sink down on his cock, and Dieter’s muscles tightened further as his balls pulled up and he spilled all over your hand and onto his abdomen and where you were grinding against him.

“You sound like- fuck you sound like sin. Been wanting this for so long, can’t believe I spilled that soon-“ His frustration at himself disappeared when you shimmed back enough to drop your head down and lick up the cum on his cock after you cleaned your hand, dragging your tongue through the wiry hair to catch every last bit, and his grip on your thighs shifted to drag you back just a little bit more.

“Can I taste you, cariño?” You looked over your shoulder at him with your lower lip trapped in your teeth.

“Are you- I know some men don’t like to-“

“I want to, and if anyone you were with before didn’t they’re idiots.”

You relented with a nod and all you felt was his hot breath before his tongue dragged through your folds; he was absolutely sloppy with the way he smeared your slick and his saliva together on your skin and his tongue dipped into you, your breathy moan made him answer it with a raspy sound of his own while you immediately dropped your head to continue peppering his tummy with kisses and bites. The imprint of your teeth in his skin made your pussy clench, the hickeys sucked into the skin were like a mark, and the possessive need to make sure he had something visible was nearly overwhelming.

Dieter’s lips circled your clit as he sucked, not hard enough to hurt but it was enough to start riding the edge, and as you grabbed his cock to lick up the side of his shaft and play with his piercings the man put his tongue into you as his thumb pressed against your clit and you rocked down against his face with a whine. The crack of skin on skin made you moan in surprise but the spank only made your face feel hot when Dieter practically purred into your pussy before he made sure to rub the skin he’d hit and then do the same on the other side.

You pressed your face into his tummy when he nipped, just lightly enough to not hurt, at your outer lips and Dieter circled your clit with his thumb in a rhythm that began making your muscles clench and your limbs tremble. You could only breathe his name into his skin, his tongue fucking into you in time with his thumb on your clit, and Dieter lapped at you as your orgasm made you press your hips down as close as you could to his face and hand.

He helped you come down slowly, regaining your breath and you yelped when he pushed you forward while sliding back so that your face landed on your sheets while he pressed against your calves to keep you in place.

“Look at you, cariño. Look how you’re fucking soaking for me; you get so fucking wet when you come.” He smeared his fingers through your folds before letting you up so you could turn to face him, the mess on his hand slicking up his cock, and Dieter offered a lazy smile as you kissed him. It was the taste of you on his mouth, the feeling of his curls in your hands as you ran your fingers through it, keeping you grounded as he looked up at you like you’d hung the moon in the sky.

“Before we do anything else, I want you to know that I- I really like you and I want to go on dates with you and support you and be your boyfriend if you’ll have me.” Dieter’s voice was soft and your heart skipped before you nodded with tears starting to blur your vision.

“Nothing would make me happier, Dee.” He grinned against your mouth and you both smiled into the kiss as he pulled and rolled so that he could hover over you instead. Dieter’s mouth stayed on yours as he rubbed the underside of his cock against you, the piercings were odd but not uncomfortable, and as he began pressing into you it was impossible not to moan into his mouth. He hooked one of your legs over his forearm so open you up more, being careful not to move too fast, and the sheer girth of him made you squirm a little as the stretch created a pleasant burn.

He pumped himself back and then pressed into you more, mindful of your expressions, and the balls on the ends of his barbells rubbed along your inner walls with each motion.

“That’s it, nice and slow, just breathe cariño.” Dieter’s encouragement was whispered against your neck, his face pressed into the skin, and you couldn’t help but bring your mouth to his shoulder and begin leaving signs of you there too. He moaned when you began sucking a mark into his skin there and you whimpered when his hips finally slotted fully against yours, the pair of you pausing to just breathe as you adjusted to the feeling of him filling you.

Dieter nuzzled his nose against yours and your mouth slotted together, it was just so easy with him; he wasn’t pushing for more, he was listening to you and knowing he wanted to be with you made this feel so much more special. The kisses weren’t frenzied but they weren’t chaste either, his mouth moving with yours as you twirled his hair on your fingers, and as the stretch around lost the edge of pain you tested the waters by rolling your hips gently and sighing into his mouth.

“You feel so good, Dieter. F-fuck, please move-“ You felt the way he planted one hand on the mattress, the one your leg was hitched up around, and the other took one of your hands and squeezed tightly as he drew back slow. You could feel every inch and every part of his piercings as he rolled his hips forward, your other leg lifting to hook around his thigh, and Dieter’s mouth met yours as he began to fuck you.

The drag of his pierced cock was different, a good different, and he moaned when you used your leverage on his arm and thigh to raise your hips off the bed and grind against him with each thrust. The hand holding yours let go so he could wrap that arm around your lower back, helping hold your lower body off the bed and pressing your bodies together so you could feel him. The softness of his tummy against yours, the feel of his cock dragging through your pussy, all of it was so good and his teeth sank into your lower lip before he soothed that with his tongue while you whimpered his name.

And he wasn’t silent either.

“Fuck, cariño your pussy is like Heaven.”

“You’re so tight, so fucking warm; I can feel your muscles fluttering around me.”

“Look at you, I fucking love looking at you. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

“Wanna do so many things to you, wanna show you off, wanna fuck you in a limo on the way to a premiere-“

That particular fantasy made your face feel hot and you choked on your own saliva at the idea of going to some red carpet event with his cum leaking down your leg. Dieter noticed and you clenched around him when he growled at you, at the fact that you liked that particular fantasy, and your best friend –now boyfriend- shifted the angle of your body in a way that made you see stars as he ground his hips against yours.

“Fuck- Dieter I’m-“

“I can feel it, I know you’re close, give me a good one cariño.”

He sank his teeth into your neck and you were done, muscles locking down against his harsh thrusts and the piercings only added to the feeling, the hand in his hair gripped tight and Dieter wheezed as his hips jerked and he spilled into you, the pair of you practically writhing together as you both rode out the aftershocks. Every part of your body was tingling, from your scalp to your toes, and Dieter rubbed his nose against yours as he let your leg down gently and then tugged you so you were lying on your side facing him.

His soft cock slipped out of you, the combined drip of your slick and his spend began to dribble out of your body and Dieter kissed you before disappearing to fetch a warm damp washcloth to clean you up. You reached for him after he was done, and the cloth was back in the bathroom, and he smiled as he slid back onto the bed so you could tangle your legs with his and trace patterns on his tummy as you nuzzled his cheek with your nose.

“That was amazing, though I don’t know how I feel that you didn’t tell me about your piercings.” Dieter chuckled and turned his head so he could kiss you fully as he let his thumb brush against your lower lip while cupping your cheek.

“Can’t tell you why it’s not public knowledge, thought by now someone would’ve spilled the secret for money.”

“You’re a good guy, Dee, they probably respect you too much to do that.”

“Maybe, you always see the good in me cariño.”

“One of us has to.”

He kissed you again and you basked in the knowledge that this wasn’t going to be the only time you had him like this, the knowledge that he wanted you, and when he pulled you closer to his body you went willingly as you played with the scruff of his beard.

“It won’t be easy, since I’m famous.”

“I don’t care if it’s hard, Dieter, I want you and everything that comes with it.”

“Then you have me, I’m yours.”

All Fics Taglist: @hardc0rehaylz @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @musings-of-a-rose

“I’m sorry.”

Echoing, repeating, inside your head like a specter that wouldn’t leave you alone; the two words held none of the emotions they should have, the tone was blank and empty and had been delivered that way. Even now you could still see his stupid face looking anything but sorry, those green eyes lacking any empathy for what he’d done to you, and it hurt worse as all the ugly little thoughts you’d kept at bay were buzzing like a swarm of pests surrounding you.

You aren’t good looking enough, why would he choose Kaleigh otherwise?

You aren’t smart enough, you would have gotten that promotion sooner if you were, right?

You spend too much time working rather than being a good partner, he wouldn’t have to find affection somewhere else if you tried harder would he?

Each thought cut deeper and deeper, the aching in your chest bleeding out and making you feel cold, your legs pulled close to your chest and your face buried in your knees to hide the tears spilling over your cheeks. Around you the airport was bustling and loud but you couldn’t hear it, the endless number of conversations and bubbly pop music were muted by the grief and the voices of your own inner demons screaming at you. 

Someone touched you, the hand on your elbow gentle, but you hadn’t been ready for it; head snapping up to look, worried you’d missed your flight or something. Instead, there were gentle brown eyes, a soft smile fading into a look of concern, and the stranger pulled his hand back; his lips moved but you still couldn’t hear him over the roaring of your inner demons, now mocking you for bringing a stranger into your pity party.

He tried again and this time you paid attention, you forced yourself to focus on the here and now, you pushed those inner demons back knowing it would just make the intrusive thoughts worse later.

“Are you on the DCA flight? I can make sure you don’t miss it.”

“What?”

Good going, dummy, way to sound like a moron in front of this guy.

“If you- if you need to stay like that, I can make sure you don’t miss the boarding call. I don’t expect you to open up to a complete stranger, but I don’t want you to miss your flight because of the hurt.” Part of you, the pride that you still had left, bristled at how quickly he’s seen you and figured you out; wanting to deny the assist on principle that you were just fine without someone jumping in. That you didn’t need a fucking knight in shining armor or some shit, no matter how distraught you seemed to be.

He's just being kind.

This stranger was giving you more courtesy that your ex had in, well, probably a long time. He was giving you the chance to hurt without the worry that it would cause problems getting home, and you needed that more than you knew.

“Please?” Your voice was rough from the screaming fit just hours before, when Ryan had the audacity to ask you to give him half of your own savings -thank the fucking powers that be you had not combined finances yet- so he could buy an engagement ring for Kaleigh. His rushed proposal to you had been done with a cheap ring from a little crane game he’d won on your anniversary trip, it was cute and you’d been happy with it because it’d been a sweet proposal and just fit the two of you so well; now though it stung, thinking about the fact that he wanted to give Kaleigh the hallmark proposal and happy family.

A nod was all you needed to return to burying your face in your knees, to muffle your soft wheezy sobs in the plush fabric of your scarf -it was going to be cold in DC and you weren’t going to be the idiot unprepared for the weather- and just letting the emotions go. But this stranger didn’t just support you by promising the bare minimal help, he went and got a fresh bottle of water for you when you’d finished yours and even went and got you a small snack from one of the nearby vending machines when you’d told him you hadn’t eaten since at least two days before.

This man had put more care and attention into you in the span of two hours than Ryan had in two years.

Fuck you’re pathetic if a stranger is better to you than your ex was.

Marcus Pike, as he introduced himself eventually, was a genuinely good man and you had to admit you were kind of jealous of this Teresa person that was apparently flying out to DC in a week to follow him. He’d gotten a text from her that she was working on a case or something, that she’d call in an hour or two if she could, and that led to him telling you about her. But the jealousy you thought you’d feel that he was getting everything he wanted and you weren’t just… wasn’t there. If anyone deserved a happy marriage it was this good-hearted, sweet, man beside you who saw a stranger in pain and stepped up.

“So, uh, are you from DC or the surrounding area?” He was trying to make conversation no doubt, you hummed as you chewed on the bite of the meal you’d ended up buying now that your appetite was returning, and a part of you was at war with giving him such personal information when you’d only just met him today. But you didn’t have some of the same bad vibes that you usually got with creeps or pushy men; you had a feeling if you refused to answer he’d actually respect that.

“Surrounding area, though my promotion does come with a change of office to DC. I’m in Baltimore currently but I’ll be looking for a place in DC as soon as I get back since it’s an hour commute not counting the traffic. The week I got off was supposed to be for me to begin the process of finding residency closer to work, I had use-or-lose time that would’ve been lost as soon as I started at the new role so it just made sense to take it when I got the affirmative that I’d be promoted.” Marcus was nodding in understanding at your logic, you hadn’t expected to actually get approved for any houses or places but just being able to take your time touring the options had been the idea.

Marcus grabbed his phone and handed it to you after opening a browser window, the condo was a nice place and the cost was actually pretty decent for the size.

“I was initially looking here, since they’re one-bedroom places, but with Teresa coming along I decided to spring for a two-bedroom so we could have an office room.” You sent yourself the share link, already liking that it had designated parking and security cameras around the building, but what sold it was the fact that the interior wasn’t the modern aesthetic with sleek square edged and monochrome colors. The appliances were a lovely shade of royal blue, the furniture that came with the place was vintage and fun looking, and if that was Marcus’ taste it was just one more way he was nothing like any man you’d met.

“Thank you, I’ll check this place out.” You had a few more days left of time at least, since handling things with your ex had been done quickly once you knew what was actually going on, and since he was planning on staying here in Austin you’d even decided to take the L and mail his things back to him so he didn’t have to fly back and you could avoid him accusing you of purposefully withholding his belongings. That meant time to wander around DC and get an idea of where you might want to live, though this place was looking pretty alright.

For the first time in a while you didn’t even feel scared that a stranger would know where you potentially lived, the warning bells were absent and you didn’t know if that was because Marcus was just that good or because he was good at hiding it, and you decided to let yourself believe in him being a good person.

There were so many other things you had to stress about and this was something you didn’t want to add to the list.

As the boarding call started, after you and Marcus spent time talking about favorite books and films, he let you on ahead of him and waved from his seat near the front of the cabin as you moved toward the back. The curse of booking a late ticket, of course, and after setting your phone to airplane mode you decided to take the nap you knew you needed.

Marcus bid you farewell at the exit terminal in DCA while he was getting his phone turned back on, since you didn’t have to go through baggage claim there was no added wait, and you were off and in a cab toward the hotel you’d booked last minute in the city so that you could just stay and explore living spaces before heading back to your place in Baltimore.

The condo was finally furnished, it looked like your space, and all of the boxes of Ryan’s stuff had long since been shipped off and confirmed to arrive at Austin. Breaking the lease on your old place had been costly -his parents chose to cover the cost after the truth came out- but you were free, free of someone who saw you as a piggy bank and free to move on with your career and live the life you wanted to live. You wiped the sweat off your brow and decided to head down the road to the nearby diner, a bite to eat that you didn’t have to cook sounded great, and you had a few hours before your best friends would be here to help put your knickknacks and art up.

It had been months since you got back, months since you’d started at work in your new position, and even if finding the time to hunt for a place in DC was limited to weekends and unexpected breaks in your work weeks you’d managed to finally tour a bunch of apartments and condos in the area. In the end you’d settled on the place Marcus had shown you after getting the in-person tour.

Now as you faced the brisk fall weather your mood was much higher, you were living a fair distance from work that public transport and even just walking would be fine too, and now you were going to get some good classic food. Warm and soft lighting made you relax as you entered the eatery, it was a seat yourself joint and you were ready to take a seat at the bar when you spotted a familiar face in one of the booths, waving when he looked up from his phone screen; Marcus’ smile was blunted since your first meeting and you glanced at the bar a moment and walked over to greet him instead.

“Hey stranger, fancy seeing you here. Want company?” Not wanting to assume anything you couldn’t help but grin when his smile did shift to something warmer and more welcoming.

“Only if you want to.” You slid into the seat with a smile after he gave you the okay. “How have you been, since getting back to Baltimore?”

“Better, it’s still- there’s still plenty of hurt but I’m in a better place all around; especially now that I know the whole truth. I just finally finished unpacking and organizing my place here in DC, so I figured I’d celebrate. How about you? How’s the East Coast treating you?” Since he was alone and lacking a band on his left ring finger you avoided the topic of the woman he’d said was coming out here, he’d been so excited about his engagement and with how sweet he was you had expected his fiancée to be just as enthusiastic.

Marcus’ shoulders dropped a little and you didn’t even think before reaching out to take the hand he had on the table, offering a sympathy-filled smile, and his eyes dropped from your face to your connected hands before he let that smile fall away.

“East Coast as a whole is okay, but Teresa ended up breaking the engagement to be with the guy that she was in love with before me. I knew it wasn’t- I knew that as long as she was around Jane that she would choose him; we’d only been together a few months before I proposed, I didn’t want to lose my chance with her just by being transferred so I’d called in a few favors to get her a position here and hoped that being away from the guy that wasn’t returning her feelings would let her move on. With me.”

You knew he’d moved fast; he’d told you that, but you had seen shorter dating periods turn into long and happy marriages before. What upset you was that Marcus had put his heart, his hope, into someone that just wasn’t in a place to be that person for him and wasn’t willing to just tell him that.

“You saw what the two of you could be and wanted to try for that, Marcus, and that’s perfectly okay. You gave Teresa every chance to tell you ‘no’ and she didn’t take it for whatever reason, if she wasn’t able to commit to you entirely then she shouldn’t have accepted your proposal. If she wasn’t able to communicate with you, to try to move on from the other guy, then she should have said something. It takes two people to make a relationship work and it sounds to me like she wasn’t trying as hard as you were.”

When you looked up from your hands it was to a man with shiny eyes and tears threatening to fall, a man who had been hurt and needed someone who could at least understand the hurt, and you didn’t say anything when he used a napkin to dab his eyes gently. If anyone understood what he was feeling right now it was you, after all, given that the situations weren’t the same but there were some strong parallels. Him allowing himself to cry? To feel? You liked that about him, a lot.

“When Ryan proposed it was a rushed thing too, it was on our anniversary and he won a little plastic ring out of a crane game instead of the little charm bracelet he’d been trying for. He looked at it, looked at me, and then got down and proposed right there; almost made me think he meant to try for it for that reason and since our relationship had always been easy and never focused on the materialistic things, I loved it and it was sort of on brand. But he pulled away, after that, wasn’t involved in any of the planning unless I specifically asked for his opinion. I thought it was cold feet, or that he was just nervous because he didn’t know if his parents were able to make it to the wedding on the day we chose, but it turns out his childhood friend Kaleigh was newly single and he’d always loved her.”

Saying the story out loud made the anger lessen, now that you could see the signs clearer, even if the hurt was still there. How Ryan had always talked about Kaleigh’s clothes style, compared your hairstyles on special occasions to hers, and just being very attentive to her social media to the point that you knew more about Kaleigh than his own sister before you’d ended up opening a group chat with Hannah. A part of you also felt like you’d dodged a bullet, learning before you were married, because it meant that not only had it festered enough to do more hurt later but you had a lot more to lose in a divorce situation compared to Ryan.

His grip tightened, making you look up, and Marcus’ expression was one of understanding. Even without saying the words he knew that you were offering him support, that you knew his pain and would be the person he could open up to about it, and if it weren’t for your meals being delivered you were sure the two of you would have been able to just sit in comfortable silence.

“Ah, pancakes guy? Breakfast for dinner is something I haven’t done in a while.” You took a bite of your meal and Marcus shrugged, putting a good bit of syrup -the authentic maple syrup not the gloopy pancake syrup- onto the hubcap sized pancake along with a large dollop of butter. Your talk lightened to things in the area to do for fun, things in Baltimore to do for fun, hobbies you had currently and things you wanted to try and get into.

Marcus was genuinely a good person and creative as hell, watching him sketch you on a napkin in only a few minutes had left your face warming at the detail he managed to get into the little image. Only after you’d gone through a few refills, talked until you were sure your voice was going to be shot, and spent nearly an hour more than you planned there with him did the two of you decide to leave. Marcus paid for your meal -his insistence- and followed you back to yours where you brewed some coffee for him and let him lean in the doorway of your kitchen as the two of you talked about movies that you enjoyed.

By the time you both sat down on your couch, on opposite sides with you pulling your legs close, a small part of you was loath to let him leave. Marcus had proven before that he was attentive and kind with a big heart and knowing he was going to therapy -he’d glossed over it but you didn’t mind since he trusted you enough to even mention it in the first place- all it proved was that he wanted to heal and be better. You liked him, and even though your heart hurt, you were terrified of the idea of losing him because you wanted to take more time for yourself, but you didn’t want to push him into anything by rushing since he was going through the same heartbreak you were. 

“So, uh, you never said what you did for work. What brought you from Texas to DC? Politician?” Dropping the thoughts before they could ruin your night, choosing to needle him just a little, you watched the way Marcus’ nose wrinkled instantly. You knew he wasn’t but you were sure he’d be a good one, the kind of guy to push for what was right without forcing his lifestyle on others, and the idea of him putting any of those crusty old raisins in office in their place was a fun one.

“Nah, I’m not old enough or conservative enough to be a Texan politician. FBI actually, art crimes. I’m on the team of people that investigate when museums get robbed of art work or statues, sometimes we end up tracking things internationally depending on the thief. We also have to inspect and identify if things that pop up are authentic or if they’re fakes.” His explanation was delivered in an even voice and he showed you his badge while he was at it, your throat tightened and you felt the gooseflesh on your arms as the image of him apprehending a thief made your heart beat a little faster.

As if he couldn’t be more attractive, he had to be an FBI agent too?!

“That’s really incredible, I can’t imagine it was easy either. Did you have to get a degree in classic art before going to whatever FBI training is?”

Marcus laughed softly.

“I went to Quantico first, actually, my father was always set that as his firstborn son I’d be police or military or some role with authority. He could handle the FBI but it wasn’t until I was out of Quantico serving as a low-level agent that I pursued my Art Degree and transferred to Art Crimes as my hands-on credit hours. He still hasn’t forgiven me.”

“His loss, that is an amazing career to pursue Marcus.” You didn’t miss the way his smile brightened or how he hung off every word as you told him about your own career, how you’d not only gotten your promotion but quickly earned a pay raise on top of the raise that came with the new position, and you honestly couldn’t be happier now that you’d escaped “Hallmark Rom-Com” territory with your love life. After being able to focus solely on your career you’d managed to get into a much better place for yourself financially, which if you were being honest, helped bring you to a better place emotionally too.

Marcus stayed until he absolutely couldn’t and even then you made plans to meet up again on the weekend since he knew of a place that did drive-in movies, old black and whites and you hated that when you closed the door your heart was skipping and you couldn’t stop the way you did a corny little victory dance. It wasn’t a date, he hadn’t explicitly said it, but it was a start.

It was a date, the first of many, and Marcus was a breath of fresh air in the best way. He was kind, supportive, understanding, and an attentive lover. The whole ass package and somehow fate had put him in your path, not that you were complaining in any way, and this year was your first holiday together. You had plenty of fall-time dates last year trading apple cider and pumpkin kisses, snuggling up in the library together to just read or going to snuggle in his car at the drive-in theater, and there had been countless times you’d stumbled into the door of one of your houses where clothing ended up on the floor and sometimes you didn’t even make it to a bed.

You didn’t regret it, him, at all; a number of people tried to slow you down, since it hadn’t been so long after your break-up with Ryan before you and Marcus began dating, but their tunes changed when they actually met him and saw you two with one another. The main reason you hadn’t spent the holiday together as a couple yet was that Marcus had plans already with his family out of the country last year and you weren’t quite willing to intrude on that, even though you were sure about him, you didn’t want to crash a family vacation.

This year was yours, he’d promised, but that wasn’t looking like it would happen. Part of you couldn’t help but sigh as you looked at the calendar again, Marcus had to go to Austin for an undercover op and couldn’t even call you, he only had an approximation for when he’d be able to either call or come home. Since he was a Christmas guy you had used your key to his place and decorated his condo for the holiday for him, even getting out his fake tree and doing the entire set up, sneaking a few things of your own traditions around the main room before deciding it was done.

But all the tinsel and candles -LED since you weren’t exactly staying here to watch them- and décor couldn’t erase how it was lacking one Marcus Pike to fill the space with his sunny smile and warm affection. Even if you couldn’t celebrate the whole season with him, at the very least Christmas was enough for you if he could make it home, and as the days were crossed off your calendar it was looking less and less likely. Your own condo was significantly sparse on décor, trying to lighten your mood by making Marcus’ place look like a Christmas dream hadn’t really worked out the way you planned and his continued absence stole your spirit.

A chime from your phone made you huff softly and answer, if only to disrupt the cheerful ringtone, you knew it wasn’t Marcus since he had a custom ringtone set.

“Hey sharpshooter.”

Ryan’s parents had given you the title when you’d beat his entire family at the little shooting game at their town faire on your first visit, it was bittersweet hearing it again.

“Hi Drew, happy holidays.”

“Happy holidays, kid, just wanted to let you know that Nadine and I are proud as hell of you and that we miss you. I know it’s probably weird, your ex-fiancé’s parents calling to wish you happy holidays but you were family to us.”

“I don’t blame you or Nadine for what happened, but thank you for calling. Tell her I said hello and happy holidays, Drew.”

“Will do, sharpshooter, we wanted to pack up and send you some honey from the bee farm if you’re interested as a gift.”

“That would be a wonderful present, thank you.”

Even if you didn’t use it you could always re-gift it and pass business along.

“Good, you still have that drop box?”

“Yep! That’s perfect, Drew.”

“Wasn’t going to ask for your new address, figured in the New Year you’d want to move on for good.”

“I appreciate that, more than you know, but I’m glad I got to say a proper goodbye this time.”

“Me too, kid. Don’t settle for anyone that doesn’t respect you, you deserve the world.”

“I haven’t, Drew.”

“Even better.”

You knew when a conversation with Drew was over, when the sentences turned to one or two words, and despite this being one of the shortest conversations you had with the man you appreciated it all the same because now you could move on knowing that everyone from that point in your life was okay. You honestly felt lighter and almost jumped when you heard your door opening, knowing you’d locked it behind you, and your eyes widened when Marcus rounded the corner of the entry with a large grin on his face.

“Marcus!”

Your wail of his name drowned out the rapid tattoo of your footsteps as you hurried to hug him, to prove that he was really here, and he caught you in a tight hold and just held you close. His cologne was different, the facial hair was different, and the lingering scent of dry Texas air was different, and yet the feel of his arms around you and the warmth he seemed to just give off constantly was the same.

“I missed you so much, I’m so sorry I couldn’t call or contact you-“

“Don’t apologize, I know it was for your job, you were safer that way and it was required. You’re home, that’s what matters.”

“God, I love you, I love you so much, I booked the first flight home I could and spent extra hours in the office just to make sure I could come back and stay here.” 

Marcus didn’t argue at all when you dragged him through your apartment, mouth practically fused to yours as you worked to get him out of his clothes and into the shower, your own clothes joining his on the floor as you joined him under the stream of hot water. He proved how much he missed you, whispering praise and love into your wet skin, the slick glide of your bodies and heavy breathing laced with promises and traded affections between each throaty cry of his name were things you would remember for the rest of your life. He was insatiable for you, just as you were for him, and the shower round turned to soaking your sheets after stumbling out of the shower and away from your poor attempt at getting him clean.

He was all lips and tongue and hands, no inch of you was left untouched or unloved, and Marcus went as far as holding the back of your neck as he filled you just so he could make sure he could watch your face as he made you fall apart over and over again. His kisses were deep and intense, encompassing you entirely even as his hips rocked so slow and deep against yours, it was toe-curling and spine arching and yet you couldn’t get enough.

When you both were spent, wanting to just make out and talk and cuddle, Marcus migrated you to the couch after getting you both into comfier clothes where he nestled into the corner of your L shaped sofa and let you lay on him with his legs on either side of you, turning on some low background noise in the form of classic Christmas movies, and you couldn’t begin to care as Rudolph and Hermey met Yukon Cornelius since Marcus was here with you at last.

“I need to go decorate my condo; did you want to come help? You could just stay at mine until the holidays are over?”

A slow smile spread across your face when you realized that he hadn’t been home yet, he’d come to see you first, and you nodded before getting up to pack a bag to bring with you. Marcus helped of course, you even let him choose some of the casual stuff to pack, and other than stopping for a simple take-out dinner the ride was filled with him telling you about the sting operation. He’d posed as an art teacher to expose someone on the staff from not only stealing student’s work but for having some of the better talents recreate pieces that had gone missing and passing them off as legitimate.

You couldn’t be happier that he had pretty thick curtains so you couldn’t see the glow of the battery powered candles through them, asking him about his method of befriending the perpetrator to distract him as you let him handle the luggage so you could open the door, and Marcus’ face went slack when he stepped into the condo to see it fully decorated already.

“I- you- you decorated my condo?”

“Wanted you to come home to one less thing to do, it was a good way to help fight how much I missed you for a little while.”

Marcus’ slack expression warmed before he was tugging you onto the plush carpet, the net of Christmas lights you’d attached to his ceiling using command hooks twinkled like stars as Marcus kissed you deeply under them, and you couldn’t resist flipping him onto his back so he was looking up at the lights while you tugged off your hastily donned clothes again. Your bodies were dewy with sweat and the lights were reflecting off his skin and twinkling in his eyes, his lips dropped open as you held him in place so that you could give him nothing but pleasure, and Marcus’ hands gripped your hips to help move you as he watched you.

Even with his feet planted he let you lead, let you control the pace, and by the time you were shuddering and tensed up as you crested that high Marcus was seeking his own completion and guiding you with his hands until he was spent and shaking under you. He pulled you down and just laid with you under the Christmas lights that you’d put up, the warm condo -thank you automatic thermostats- was a little chilly but not enough to make you feel the need to get up just yet.

“I plan to do a lot more to you under these lights.” Marcus’ eyes were dark with mischief and desire as he made that promise and you were more than eager to let him see it through.

Waking up with Marcus’ warm body pressed close to yours kept you drowsy and comfortable, eyes heavy still even as you glanced at the clock, and while you didn’t have to get up early today there was definitely a motive involved doing so. For the past week or so Marcus had been sneaking out of bed before you to make you breakfast.

‘I like taking care of you, besides you’ll agree to move in sooner if the promise of breakfast and as many orgasms you want is on the table right?’

He was a caretaker, a giver, you knew that about him but so were you and he was starting to make you feel like you weren’t giving him enough. It was a conversation to have, sure, but that would come later. He barely stirred when you slipped out of bed, didn’t make a peep when you tugged on one of his shirts and a pair of underwear, and his kitchen was warm and quiet as you raided the fridge to start cooking right away.

He hadn’t seen you smuggle his gifts home, since you both had still worked up until the holiday, and the wrapped presents were carefully tucked under the tree as the coffee pot percolated and the pan you needed warmed up. Hiding them from him had been embarrassingly easy, for a man that was an FBI agent he seemed to have forgotten that his coffee table had hidden storage because you’d even set a little bit of a trap so you would know if he got into his gifts.

Breakfast was nearly complete when you heard the sleepy call of your name from the bedroom.

“I’m in the kitchen, Marcus.”

You’d thrown on an elf hat for some Christmas humor, hearing your boyfriend hum appreciatively as he walked into the kitchen, and he grabbed your hips as he came up behind you.

“Did Santa leave me one of his helpers for Christmas?”

A small chuckle escaped you as you nodded, watching him pour himself a mug of coffee, and his eyes drifted to the tree over the breakfast bar countertop. You felt the weight of his stare at the boxes in plain sight and resisted the urge to laugh, just barely, and while he didn’t say anything he did pinch your butt and set the table for breakfast.

Only after you sat down did you notice that he had added boxes to the stack and you rolled your eyes at the smug look on his face.

“What time are you going to call your parents?”

“Well, they’re home in Austin since I’m here and Nina is with her girlfriend’s family in Maine. So I figured around three since we’re an hour ahead. Gives them time to get up and have lunch, just relax a bit, you know?” 

“Alright, gives me plenty of time to clean up. And get pants on.”

The pair of you laughed, eating while conversing about any last-minute plans that either of you might want to do, and you only asked to watch White Christmas since that was a tradition in your family. Where it started you didn’t know but that had become the Christmas tradition, regardless of any other celebrations it was the only “Christmas-y” thing and this year Marcus was going to be there for the movie stream to meet your family too.

After dishes were cleaned up Marcus joined you in the living room and handed you one of your gifts, taking one of his to rest in front of him. You almost laughed because he picked the biggest of the boxes for each of you. The Razor Crest model in your hands was amazing, you would have to assemble it but that was a good rainy-day project, and Marcus looked thrilled when he began going through the canvas prints you had purchased for him to put up. Some of them were multi-panel pieces while others were single canvas pieces, but all of them were from the students he’d taught for his undercover op.

Your next gift was a new, beefy, set of over-the-ear headphones. These had noise cancellation or you could use the ambient mode to still hear things around you, you had only briefly mentioned these to him so for him to remember? You didn’t bother to mute your delighted cheer. Marcus grinned and then fell silent at the scrapbook you’d put in a pretty gift box; you’d only made and set removable labels for the pages with activities you wanted to do together. Things like going to certain museums or traveling to other cities, all optional but just things you thought were fun and cute.

There was even a page dedicated to the city of Casablanca, it made Marcus wipe the pooling tears out of his eyes.

“You- you want to do all this? With me?”

The unspoken words broke your heart. 

You see a future with me?

“Absolutely, I do, Marcus -as long as we do it together, we could change up every little thing on those pages. That’s just ideas and possibilities, we can always pick others.”

His last gift was the smallest of the boxes, and the most expensive, so when he opened it to a Cartier box you watched his eyes go wide before he was so lightly touching the face of the watch you’d chosen for him. It was vintage with a round face and black leather band, the exact one he’d been looking at when you’d gone on a date to a silent auction, and you’d been hiding it for months even before he left for the undercover op. Marcus made a little sound of disbelief and you couldn’t help but grin at him, earning a kiss so good your toes curled and you were ready to ignore the last gift of the night.

But Marcus sat you back down and handed you the box, looking so sure of himself, and when you opened it carefully you frowned at the small cardboard box that was apparently empty. Looking up and freezing at the sight of your boyfriend on one knee, your chest tightened up and the mix of joy and the small bubbling doubts after last time made your eyes water.

“Before you say anything, even if the answer is a ‘not right now’ that’s perfectly fine and it won’t hurt my feelings. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, whether we’re married or not, I just want you to have something to show you that I’m serious about you. You walked into my life needing help and then returned that same genuine kindness months later, you have never treated me like I’m too much and you’ve been so patient with me. I know I spent a lot of our relationship gone, which is why you do not have to say yes to this, but I want to marry you and I hope that someday you might want the same.”

“Marcus I can’t lie and say I’m not anxious about this, I am, but you know the reason why and have been patient with me through my healing process. I love you too, and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to be by your side and explore the world with you one day at a time. I know we can be amazing together, even with you gone you’ve never given me a reason to doubt you, and I would prefer a longer engagement but I’d be willing to sign the papers tomorrow since it’s you..” He slipped the band on your finger and kissed you, promising you as much time as you needed, and you said a silent prayer to whatever higher power was listening to thank them for allowing this man to cross your path when you needed him the most.

After wrapping paper clean up, fawning over gifts, and very pleasurable thank you’s were exchanged he tucked you against his side on the couch and flipped on Netflix so you could continue catching him up on the shows he’d missed while he was working and glancing at your new ring with hope and love warming your heart.

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Something was wrong with you.

For the past week you’d begun waking up overheated, sheets stained from sweat and messy drenched underwear, and you’d wondered if you were having some really good dreams that you just weren’t remembering but never had it been a week straight consistently. The only saving grace was that your new traveling companions, Mando and Grogu, were in the crew bunks while you had your soundproofed Captain’s quarters.

You couldn’t begin to imagine the quick death you’d be given for potentially “corrupting” the child.

Taking on the armored bounty hunter and his green pollywog as a crew hadn’t been in your plans but he had promised good pay and Peli was able to modify the star fighter port on your ship to fit his N-1 without an issue. A scrapper and a bounty hunter, the pair of you were definitely something and as much as his quiet demeanor had been kind of off-putting at the start you’d gotten to know his body language pretty well.

The kid was cute too, so that was always a plus.

You let out the softest sound of annoyance before getting up, taking the coldest shower you could since you were set to land today and drop off some of the higher value scrap stored in the hull. It would have been nice to be able to take care of yourself but that just wasn’t in the cards, instead you willed that ache away as best you could under the ice cold spray. A fresh two-piece flightsuit was thrown on over your compression leggings and thermal top –it wasn’t exactly warm in space, even with environmental controls- and after tugging on your boots you made your way toward the bridge.

You noticed Mando and Grogu sitting in the lounge area, the pollywog was playing with that little metal ball you saw him with constantly while the armored hunter was looking over your spare datapad with electronic schematics in it. His old ship was pre-Empire so he struggled with some of the repairs on yours, his way of chipping in was to handle minor fixes for you since he’d paid to install a mobile carbonite unit, so he’d been determined to learn what he could.

But watching him sit up straighter, the way his shoulders practically jumped, made you pause. His helmet turned slowly toward you and it almost came across as a bashful gesture.

“Mando? You okay there?” His shoulders drooped as he nodded and you decided to ignore his weird behavior, since there was no chance in the Maker that he’d ever actually tell you what was wrong with him. Instead you hit the bridge and double checked the coordinates and autopilot settings, your astromech was in the process of repairs and waiting for you back at the Guild headquarters so everything was manual for now, and Mando was lucky that he could do the calculations in his head after nearly destroying Belt.

You sat down in your seat and smiled when you heard Mando’s heavy steps take the gunners chair, he’d deferred to your flying after a particularly nasty dogfight you’d won while soaring through an asteroid field. With you in the pilot’s seat and him in the gunner chair no other scrappers or smugglers had been able to bully Lady Luck away from a haul again. Added to the repairs and modifications Mando helped fund, after you were introduced to the stubborn and charming –in her own way- Peli Motto, your light freighter was a bounty hunter and scrapper’s dream.

Neither of you spoke as you navigated through the energy barricades, landing in your designated dock at the spaceport, and you waved to a few of the usual attendants after opening the cargo doors so they could begin unloading. Jaxom waved at you and an amused smile crossed the Toydarian’s face as Mando walked just behind you, very close to your back, but your eyes landed on the numerous Jawa convoys that were here to buy up what they could.

The little scavengers weren’t unusual here but they were known to try and steal right out of fresh drops, luckily for you the loading and unloading crews weren’t amateurs.

“Welcome back, Miss Fortune, I already see several high credit items being unloaded as we speak and am quite eager to see what you might’ve brought home.” You shrugged Jaxom’s arm off your shoulder and playfully punched the Guild Coordinator in the arm. His flirting wasn’t anything serious but you still discouraged it where you could, you did not want to give him the idea that you’d ever accept his company.

“Hands to yourself Jax, I know where them mitts of yours have been.”

“You wound me, but I suppose you’re right, I keep telling you not to assume the Hutts aren’t good lovers.”

“Yuck, no fuckin’ way you disgusting slug licker. Is Belt repaired yet?” You nearly buckled at the sudden touch of Mando’s gloved hand on your lower back as he moved beside you, the heat that shot through your body almost made you fall into him, and your everything responded enthusiastically to the contact. Jaxom looked between the two of you and his hands rose in a placating gesture before he stepped aside to go count up your haul, leaving you to head into the workshop where Belt greeted you with a cheerful chime.

The entire walk you had Mando’s hand on you, the heat of it practically radiating through his glove, and as much as you wanted to him ask why he was doing that your tongue had felt like it was swollen and you were almost wondering if anyone could see the effect it had on you.

Belt chimed and the BB-2 unit rolled over toward you with a cheerful little cry, you crouched down and immediately hugged him close. With Mando’s hand off your back there was just enough of a sharpness that returned to you, something was definitely wrong but you couldn’t run a health scan quite yet.

“Belt, look at you, lookin’ real good now. Mando promised not to try and shoot you again, okay? So if he tries anything let me know right away.” The droid hummed and its head shifted to look up into the dark visor, then back to you, before Belt chirped and whistled in agreement. You couldn’t help but smile when Grogu whined and reached for the droid, he’d devloped a quick attachment after all, but it was even cuter as Mando set the child on Belt’s dome head and the droid rolled after the armored hunter with Grogu on him.

You bit your cheek to avoid laughing and waved to Grogu, heading for the cantina for a drink and to meet with Jaxom for your pay as Belt followed Mando back onto Lady Luck. The fact that getting distance from Mando made that strange heat burning under your skin dissipate a little didn’t really clock you as strange, even though it should have, and Jaxom watched the door as you walked in as if waiting for the bounty hunter to follow.

After being grilled about when you’d started sleeping with the tin can –which you hadn’t, even if you wanted to- Jaxom finally paid you and sent you on your way. Mando had two bounties on planets nearby so once refueling was done you were set to leave, your steps were light and you were ready to just lock yourself back in your room for some relief when you stepped into the hull and were nearly bowled over by the sharp spicy musk that practically permeated everything. Your knees trembled and you did go down, after the hull doors closed at least, while you struggled to breathe past the thick air.

Heavy footsteps made you look up and Mando uttered a soft curse, scooping you up with one arm as the other rested just below your ass like a seat as he pressed you against his body and hurried toward your cabin.

“Mando?”

You had a thousand and one questions but your tongue refused to work, everything was starting to feel fuzzy, and Mando continued to utter curses as he set you into your bunk and disappeared. The thick air seemed to follow him, your room suddenly felt too small and your skin was too hot, hurriedly you began to fumble with your flight suit to just get it off. It was like you couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, everything was too tight and your clothes felt itchy and uncomfortable.

“Easy, hey, wait-“

Mando’s return was quiet and the door closed behind him, his hands stilling your movements, and that helmet was practically burning through you.

“You’re okay, it’s not- it’s me, this is my fault.”

“What is it?”

Your voice was hoarse as if you’d been screaming, you felt so thirsty, and Mando took your wrists in one hand before he made you drink from the canteen on his belt.

“My… my species releases pheromones, but they’re not- they become solid for up to an hour on contact with certain atmospheric gasses. Gasses very highly concentrated on this planet. I had to- the kid and the droid are in the bridge and they know not to come out, once we get into the air the pheromones will break down and get recycled out.” He sounded bashful, terrified even, as he explained it to you. The idea that he wasn’t human had occurred to you but not enough to make you linger on it for too long, he looked plenty human and didn’t have lekku popping out of his helmet or horn indents like a Zabrak would need, so learning he was actually not human was only a touch of a surprise.

Mando’s gloved thumb brushed your lower lip, the buttery smooth material catching on your dry skin and you felt that heat return, calling to him. Your soft whimper led to him pressing just a touch harder to your lips, his head tilting just slightly and you clenched your thighs at the gesture because the heat was back. You fel tlike you were burning from the inside but now you knew, it wasn’t the kind of fever you’d suspected.

“So- so y’like turn me on by your pheromones?”

“Only if- only if you’re interested too. It’s- it only takes if you’re also interested in me, somehow it recognizes the biochemical signs of attraction and lust in other species. Otherwise you’d just be sneezing until my mating season ends.”

“Mating- like… like kids?”

“Yes.”

“Not exactly looking to have kids yet, if at all, Mando. It’s why I’ve got an implant.”

“I do too, an implant I mean and I know it works, but my body still thinks- it’s biological to ensure the species continues.”

Your head still felt fuzzy but it wasn’t as bad as before and you found yourself staring into that dark visor wondering, his explanation implied that he could tell you were at least interested in him but not if it went the other way or if you just were the only one in a certain area that was even present to react.

“Does it- why are Belt and Grogu confined to the bridge?” You abandoned your first train of thought, not sure if you wanted to find out that he didn’t want you, instead you focused on the other things going on.

“I don’t want either one of them to suffer any adverse effects, Belt’s internal systems create heat and it might cause the solidified pheromones to gunk up inside his system and the kid is- well we don’t know his species at all. I also- I didn’t want them to hear if… if you wanted help.” The way he grew quiet, nervous, was like lightning down your spine; he was still pinning your arms in place but not in a way that felt threatening.

He wanted you, which honestly just blew you away because he’d never made a sign before, but something was making him hold back.

“Why- why do you sound scared? Are we going to struggle with this if I want you to stay?”

Mando swallowed thickly, so loud you could hear it through the vocoder, and finally he exhaled a heavy breath.

“I only know about this because, well, back when I was at the covert there was another Mandalorian I unintentionally… he reacted to my pheromones.”

“He? Does your species-“

“Sequential hermaphroditism, bidirectional. Depending on the genetic identification of the potential partner my species will… our genitals will change. I have a working set of reproductive organs that are both male and female, but being born male my usual state of being is male and it’s what I identify as.” You blinked and the influx of new information made you struggle against his hands, the hunter letting you go and flinching when you captured one of his hands in yours as you sat up.

“Talk to me, Mando, what happened.”

“He found out- he found out about me and what I was and rejected me. Publicly, at that, before choosing to fight me. Paz was- he was always larger, more strength in close combat than me, and had the Armorer not intervened he may have been able to overpower me and remove my helmet.” The fact that someone who -if what Mando had told you was completely accurate- had some attraction to Mando was even willing to go that far, to beat the brakes off him, infuriated you. He was scared of being rejected, again, and you squeezed his hand in yours.

The gesture made the air grow thick again, your vision blurring a little, but you situated yourself right in his lap after pushing him to sit on your bed.

“I’m not rejecting you, Mando, I want this. You. But only if you want it too-“

His helmet pressed into your forehead, interrupting you with the gesture, the slur of your voice fading into a whine as those large hands of his moved to hold your hips in place and stop you from grinding into his lap.

“You don’t know how long I have wanted this, mesh’la. But you- you deserve-“

“Don’t you fucking start with that, I don’t care what you think I deserve. It’s about what I want you karking idiot.” To emphasize your statement you tapped your forehead against his helmet and tugged on his cowl, looking right where you were sure his eyes were behind that dark visor. Everything was heightened, the feeling of his hands on you and the sharp need that was burning between your legs, you could see the flecks of soft fuzz in the air, and your tongue tasted sweet as he growled behind that bucket of his.

Clearly your insistence that you wanted him was making him release more of those pheromones.

“I’m going to wreck this needy little cunt, I’m going to be the only one able to fuck you the way you need.” There was threat, promise, and desire all wrapped into that one statement and you tugged harder at his cowl to reveal the tanned skin hidden underneath; he moaned long and loud as you gave into your immediate desire to sink your teeth into that newly revealed skin and leave a sign of your claim. You pulled back just enough to tell him to do something, anything, because your skin felt like it was on fire.

“Mando-“

“Din, my name is Din Djarin, and I’m going to have you screaming it.”

“We’ll see about-“

Your challenge excited him, obviously, if the sudden tearing of fabric was an indicator. The chill of air between your legs made you jolt and pull away from his neck, which also gave Din the advantage he needed to shove you off his lap, and before you could even try to pin him down the hunter was on the move. You backed up as your pride screamed to give him a challenge, a chase, but those damn pheromones made your knees weak.

He captured you in his arms with a low chuckle before dragging you back toward him and you yelped when he spun you around so suddenly, his gloved hand dragging through your wet folds as he shoved your upper body over the pull-out table in your room. You keened at the sensation of his gloved fingers on your skin, trying to struggle but his grip on your wrists was firm as he held them against your lower back, and he used his free hand to hold your legs and maneuver his shoulders between them leaving you fully exposed to him as he crouched behind you.

“That’s it, mesh’la, look at you dripping for me. Don’t try to look.” His warning made you shiver but the hiss of pneumatic pressure releasing followed by the hot breath of air on your exposed cunt was enough to make you keen. You hadn’t realized he’d ripped through the multiple layers you were wearing, the fact that he was strong enough to do so only made you throb, and the clatter of metal was the only warning you got before he began truly devouring you.

It took no time for you to realize his tongue was textured, and not like a human, but not in a way that was painful; it was strange but it felt good, really good as he licked through your folds and stopped to circle your clit. The long, wide, stroke made you moan shamelessly into the tabletop as your floor muscles tried to tighten and relax all at once between the impending orgasm and your body’s desire to take more of him. Every slurp, every suckle, and every touch of his mouth was a rocketing you closer and closer to a dazzling end; it had been cycles since a partner had made you orgasm in bed and your chest heaved as you tried to rock back even a little against his face.

Every breath you took was thick, the air spicy and musky, and your head was spinning in the best way as more and more wetness your body made was lapped up like a massiff with a meiluroon. It was to the point that you couldn’t even close your mouth, his name was a prayer and a plea on your lips as you squirmed with your cheek pressed into the flat surface.

The rasp of facial hair, the low moans of delight from Din vibrating against your body, and the feeling of his leather clad fingers pressing into the skin of your ass with his thumb holding you open wider for him was overwhelming and yet not enough. Your body tightened when his thumb dragged down, his grip on your wrists tightening, and as he used his thumb to circle your clit with that buttery soft leather it was like explosions under your skin.

Everything tightened up and you wailed his name as your orgasm slammed through you, writhing against the sensation as he continued to drink you down, and you were so sensitive that he quickly pushed you into a second orgasm that left you drooling a little from the intensity. Between the hazy pheromones and the endorphins now flooding your system you were pliant as he let your hands go, helmet returned to his head, and Din chuckled softly behind you before you heard the unmistakable sound of his bandolier being set aside.

Din didn’t take off much, you caught a glimpse of his fauld and tasset on the floor, before you heard the zipper sound as he freed himself from his flight suit; he kept you on the table, this time taking your hands and holding them both above your head, and you whimpered when you felt the slick glide of him between your thighs. How you had assumed he’d have a human cock, since he’d proven to be very alien outside of a generally human skin tone and frame, was beyond you so feeling the extra ridges and not quite human shape along his shaft as he slicked himself up with your body left you shivering.

The heat was back and your body was practically leaking at this point, you needed him to fuck you more than you needed to breathe, your tongue felt thick and swollen but you didn’t care how slurred and lust drunk you sounded.

“Din, please Din ‘m so wet- need your cock. Please-“

“That’s it, mesh’la, sound so fucking pretty begging for me.”

Your pleas turned into a sharp inhale and a deep moan from somewhere in your chest as Din’s cock finally pressed between your lips and into your body, it felt so good that your eyes rolled back and a full body shiver made you tense up around him, all while your body stretched deliciously for him. You couldn’t exactly picture what his dick looked like based off the feel but it was alien, he was throbbing inside of you, and that dull heat roared to life as you began trying to squirm.

“Please fuck me- shit, Din please-!”

Your eyes clenched shut as you fought, attempting to get some sort of friction, and Din snarled behind you as he pressed more weight onto your hands and thrust down into your body so deep it felt like he was punching through you. At his base he felt bulbous, the squelch of sound that accompanied him pulling himself back echoed in the room from how wet you were, and the head of him was flatter with a flare to it that kept him from pulling out of you entirely before he was filling you again.

That roaring heat was consuming, your skin hot under the layers of clothes you were both still wearing, and each time he filled you Din’s raspy moans and breathy exhales echoed through his vocoder along with a string of filth. Your own attempts at speech were reduced to pitiful whines or long moans, your fingers flexing as Din held you where he wanted you.

“Maker you’re so fucking tight, so fucking wet-“

The slap of skin on skin was only made more noticeable by the slick noises when he filled you deep and your coordination was all fucked up because of the pheromones so all you could do was lay there and writhe against him.

“Your little cunt was made for me, mesh’la.”

“Y-yes Din, s’yours-!”

You agreement made him release your hands and pull you up, one large hand now spread across the center of your collar as his other arm was banded across your waist since your legs were useless at this point, and even now you fumbled to try and get leverage somewhere. You brought one of your hands up to grip his cowl as your other hand fumbled along the outer seam of your body to feel the shape of him.

Your breath jumped when you felt one of the ridges you’d touched flex and you threw your head back when that part of him slipped out of you and up along your seam, the end of it was also flat but at an angle with a divot of some kind and Din shuddered as you touched the tip of it before he captured your free hand and held it flat against your own chest.

“Let me- I’ll cum too soon if you do that.”

You wailed when that appendage found your clit, the divot resting against your swollen bud, and you could have sworn it was sucking with the sudden and overwhelming sensation that made every muscle in your body tighten up as stars exploded behind your eyelids. You’d never come so hard, every part of your body was tingling like it had fallen asleep from the tips of your toes to your scalp, and the wet splatter of your release on the floor made Din snarl as he continued to fuck up into you.

“Din- ‘s too much I can’t-“

“One more, one fucking more, then I’m going to fill this little cunt. I know you can do it.”

Your body was powerless to resist, and the fact that he was fucking you while standing up with your legs basically reduced to wet noodles was enough to make your cunt spam one last time before Din was humping you as he rode out his own release. Your legs were weak when he began to loosen his grip, making you grab his cowl and arm for support, and Din walked you the few steps over to your bunk before he pulled you against him and used his cloak like a blanket to cover where the two of you were still joined.

“Sleep, mesh’la, rest. I’ll be here.”

You wondered if the pheromones could also cause you to sleep, or if he’d just fucked you out so good that you were exhausted, but your eyelids drooped and as you did slip into dreamland you heard him whispering something in a language you didn’t understand and you smiled knowing that he’d be here when you woke up.

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“Are you ready for the best vacation of your life?” Keegan was chattering away happily as the two of you headed for your boarding gate, carry-on bags rolling after the both of you as you power-walked toward your destination. You had wanted to be here at least half an hour ago but Keegan had procrastinated, he was against sitting in the airport for extended periods -which was why your tickets were a straight flight rather than having any layovers- and now the two of you were at risk of missing your boarding call.

“If we even get to go on vacation, sure!” Your false cheer was met with a playful eye roll, you made it to the gate right as they were doing a second to last boarding call and after getting in line you exhaled lightly before looking over your seat after scanning your boarding pass on your cell. Keegan’s seat wasn’t near yours, since he had insisted on booking the tickets separately, but it was fine anyway since he was the type to sleep on a plane while you preferred to read or to write.

As you found your seat, an aisle seat, you hoisted your carry on up into the overhead compartment; but you did struggle with rearranging the other bags up there, since people hadn’t even tried to do so. A warm presence at your back made you stiffen as a set of rough hands began to help moving the other bags, yours finally sliding in so that the compartment could still close, and you sat down so that the other people trying to get by you could do so.

The person who helped you was the one in the aisle seat beside yours, you peeked a glance at them between the now moving passengers, and a part of you was floored at the sight of this broad man and his dark curls. He wasn’t looking at you but that was okay, taking the chance to admire his profile while going unnoticed, but as the last person walked by he turned his head and locked gazes with you.

“Oh! Uh- thank you, for just now.” Being caught made you fluster a little under his intense expression, your face warmed and you tugged the sleeve of your hoodie over your hands to hide the way you were playing with the fabric. His lips curled into a smirk, not a smile, as he nodded once before turning his attention forward as the cabin crew began calling for focus so they could do the safety demonstration. Flying was something you hated, never failing to have your anxiety spike during take off and any turbulence and even landing, so you paid very close attention to the safety demonstration.

By the time the plane began to taxi along the runway you were gripping the armrest tightly, glad that the seats beside you had wound up empty, and as soon as you were in the sky you grabbed your trusty spiral notebook from where it was tucked inside your hoodie and your pen. It was a large notebook with several dividers already in the pages, meant to be a three subject book, but for you that was just three different stories at once and you’d even gotten fancy with some of the scrap booking items you’d bought to customize the dividers.

You’d tucked your notebook away after being hunched over for far too long, flexing your fingers to fight the light cramps because of how long they’d been gripping the pen, and realized that most of the other passengers were either asleep or talking in low voices. The man beside you was out cold, neck on full display with his head tipped back and his leather jacket draped over his lap, and your tongue darted out unconsciously to wet your lips as you took in more now that he wasn’t awake to catch you. He looked relaxed, now that he was resting, and the curls that looked like he’d run his hands through his hair were devastatingly alluring.

The light began to fade gradually as night started to set in, leaving you to yawn lightly and slip into a gentle doze the darker it got, and you only woke up when the plane jostled enough to rouse you. The man beside you looked just as delirious, the overhead intercom requesting anyone return to their seats and buckle in, but your eyes widened as you happened to catch a glimpse out of the window to the left. There was just rock, far too close for comfort, and every screen that was on went static before cutting out right as a massive grinding noise echoed through the plane as the left wing was ripped off.

Every safety demonstration you’d ever seen left your brain as the sudden fear took over, your hands shaking while you fumbled with the oxygen mask when it dropped down. The man across from you was there suddenly, tightening and adjusting the mask before he got back in his seat to fix his own, you felt stupid for turning your head to look at him as tears blurred your vision but you had no idea if you were going to survive. At the last second you turned your head forward, closing your eyes, and the jarring impact came after what felt like an eternity.

The impact was deafening and you had a brief second of consciousness before debris from the impact began to go flying, the very solid pain blooming in your head and knocking you out cold.

You felt like you were going to be sick, the oxygen mask hanging half off your face as you blinked against the blurriness, and there was a high-pitched ringing in your ears. It hurt to lift your head but you could still feel your lower body, blinking against the dim light of the broken cabin, and for a second you thought you were imagining the sight of people cutting at the safety belts until you watched one man pick up a younger boy and carry him off. There was no way in hell you were imagining it but they weren’t a rescue group, they were almost entirely nude and looked like they’d been bathing in blood.

When one of the men looked up and locked gazes with you a chilling smile bloomed across his face, he stopped fussing with the restraints in his hands to start walking toward you, and he was saying something but you couldn’t hear him. As his bloody hand cupped your jaw more tears bloomed in your eyes, hating how he craned your neck up and crying out in pain as your body protested the motion, but the man suddenly reeled back in alarm and let your head fall again.

The stranger from beside you was up on his feet, using a tray from one of the seats as a weapon and making the bloody stranger back off, leaving you to fumble with your own seat belt as you realized it wasn’t safe here. Large hands stilled yours, undoing the buckles and straps, but he shook his head when you moved to get up. Instead he popped open the overhead compartment and grabbed what looked like a small orange axe from his bag, he said something -not that you could hear him, or read his lips- before walking down the slope of the plane and checking on anyone that hadn’t been taken out of their seats.

You grabbed one of the discarded pieces of glass from the broken windows, after wrapping the bottom of it in a spare shirt that had fallen out of the overhead during the crash, and moved to wedge yourself between the seats with your back to the wall of the plane; even with the dim morning light you were struggling to see anything and your hands were shaking worse as the realization that you still couldn’t hear set in. A large form lumbered by your hiding place, another one of the strange men, and either he didn’t see you or was just ignoring you as he unbuckled the little boy’s father. The realization that the other man had possibly been hurt, or just left you here, was enough to make your hands shake even harder.

Another one of the locals -you assumed- stopped and looked down at you, appraising you, and when he tried to reach for you the glass became a weapon; if you made a sound you didn’t know, hoping you were shrieking like a hellcat as you lashed out and the man sneered when the jagged edge of the glass ripped into his arm. He tried again and this time you used your legs to propel you up, shaking hands hurting as you stabbed at the man over and over again, and he didn’t get back up when he fell.

Your legs were shaking, your whole body hurt, but you didn’t stay; turning to look to your right where the back end of the plane -and Keegan- should have been only to see that the entire back of the plane was just… gone. Unsteady steps carried you out of the cabin to look around, a forest and no sign of anything close to civilization in sight. The other strange people were lumbering through the woods with bodies draped over their shoulders, you couldn’t tell if the people were dead or not, but since nobody had noticed you all you could guess was that they didn’t expect you to live long. Blood stained your hoodie, making you feel sick again after what you’d just done, but you looked around for any sight of the other survivor only to come up missing. Keegan was missing, presumably dead, and you had no idea when a potential rescue would even arrive.

You barely managed to drag yourself through the trees, not trying to go too far, and stumbled onto what looked like an abandoned den hidden behind the roots of a tree. Or maybe it wasn’t abandoned, you didn’t know, but staying out in the open was a worse idea and you pulled your hood up before sliding into the space and dropping your weapon. Every part of you hurt, you wanted to cry, but it wasn’t happening; your body felt numb and sore and cold as you laid there; heart racing but feeling so damn tired that you blinked and your consciousness drifted out again.

When you woke up again it was freezing, dark, and you knew that hours had passed with the way your stomach protested your lack of food; a glow from the body of the plane made you stop moving, watching as more people were dragged away from your hiding place, and while the ringing was gone everything sounded so muffled that you were sure your hearing was as good as gone. Something moved right beside you, making you turn fast, but a large hand covered your mouth; you could barely make out the stranger from the airplane, his axe set beside him, and now there was a scar cutting through his left eye. His mouth moved, he was definitely talking to you, and you offered him an apologetic look before pointing to your ears and shaking your head.

Gently he turned your head, a very small penlight clicked on, and you knew he was investigating your ears for visible signs of damage. The small light was turned off and you realized, after a moment, that your carry-on bag had been brought over here along with a few others that the man had likely gone through already. He handed you a bag of unopened beef jerky and you shivered as you accepted it, chewing slow from how sore you were, and letting your eyes droop as the realization set in that something was really wrong here.

The man reached out again and this time he was using a damp cloth to clean your hands, the cuts from the glass weren’t deep and they’d started to scab over already, but there was approval in his dark eyes before he used an anti-bacterial and wrapped your palms in gauze. It was obvious he had training in survival technique since he’d packed the small orange axe, you wondered if he was meant to be with the group that planned to hike the intense mountain trail while you and Keegan were planning to stay on a beach at the nearby resort on at the original flight destination.

Your hoodie was slipped off you, the fabric was damp and you realized it must have rained while you’d been unconscious for the second time, and the man was so gentle after inspecting your arms and torso for injuries. Checking your ribs, making sure to move slow and deliberately so you could see every little thing he did, and when he helped pull your arms through the sleeves of the thicker coat your eyes began to water as the truth set in that you were stuck here until someone realized the plane never made it if they hadn’t already. The strange man looked alarmed by the sight of your tears, hands hovering awkwardly, but when you began to smother your face to try and keep quiet -since you had no metric of how loud you even were right now- he pulled you into his arms and pressed your face into the side of his neck.

He smelled like dirt and sweat and something musky; it wasn’t a good smell, at all, he reeked. But in that moment it was a reminder that you weren’t facing this alone for now. He wasn’t at all comforting, his grip on the back of your neck was too tight and your knees ached from resting on the cold wet ground but he was there and he wasn’t some sort of blood bathed psychopath, and in that moment you didn’t care about anything outside this small space you were hiding in.

You weren’t sure how much time had actually passed by the time the man moved you to sit down again, picking up his axe and holding his hand out to advise you to stay, and you did as he basically ordered you to do since you wouldn’t be of use to him anyway. Not only were you lacking in any sort of survival skills but you were dealing with damaged hearing, all you were right now was a liability and the fact that he was even offering you any sort of help was more than enough to earn your gratitude and obedience for now.

He came back with a notepad and pens, his messy scrawl on the paper highlighted only be the dim glow of the penlight, and you took it from him when he held the pad out to you.

My name is Pero Tovar. It is not safe to stay here too much longer, we must find better shelter.

“Alright, I can’t hear you but I can still talk. Just- I’m going to do my best not to be too big of a liability I promise.”

His head dipped in a nod, you’d tried to keep your voice low and had no idea how loud you’d been but it must’ve been an okay volume since he hadn’t silenced you, instead Pero offered you his arm after he dumped the contents of your carry-on into his duffel bag. You followed after him and prayed you were quiet enough, Pero set a fairly harsh pace but you refused to whine or complain when he had helped you instead of abandoning you.

He was holding the axe in one hand, making you hold a weighty flashlight, and you let him lead you at the brutal pace for what felt like hours as the trees finally thinned out until you both reached what seemed like a meadow of some kind. Pero gestured for you to crouch down, hunkering down near the base of a tree right on the edge of the forest, and you nearly screamed when he turned abruptly and the axe was swung in the same motion; blood sprayed onto your shoulder and back where the blade had cut through someone’s throat and Pero grabbed your wrist and pulled.

Your brisk walk became a full sprint, wading through the moving stream with Pero urging you on by tugging on your wrist, and when he finally slowed down you were wheezing for breath. The people hadn’t followed you beyond the water, at least, but that wasn’t a good sign either; you looked down the line of your pants for leeches and saw a few clinging to the light denim, explaining the reluctance of the nearly naked people from traversing the water.

“Pero. There are leeches in the water.” You were digging through your bag, finding the little toiletries beg you kept and using the tweezers to dislodge the fuckers from your pants, and Pero moved closer when you gestured to him so that you could get the ones off his cargo pants too. You’d have to strip out of your pants to check your calves, since your jeans were tight on the thighs and you’d only gone about half-way up your thighs in depth, but you needed to get to safety first.

Pero offered you his hand and you let him cart you back up, even if your body was protesting the very sudden activity, and you watched him begin to set up a ring of stones after using a stick to start tilling at the grass. You realized he was making an area for a fire and kept close but moved to find potential kindling. It was sort of dry so you lucked out on a good handful of dry sticks that weren’t too far away from him, which Pero looked pleased to see, and once he got a fire going Pero simply tugged his pants off after setting the duffel bag down. You might have been embarrassed in the past but this was survival so you slipped out of your wet jeans and socks too, finding only one leech clinging to the man’s leg and none on yours.

It was a little odd to be crouched down with no pants on, right up close to this man’s bare leg -and under any other circumstance you’d be this close for other reasons, dude was definitely hot- but you simply got the leech off him and found your mini-first aid kit as your pants dried by the fire. He was quiet as you cleaned his face with the sanitized wipe, used the antibacterial on the cut that nearly had blinded him in one eye, and then used some antibacterial where the leech had been for added measure, and it took two butterfly bandages to keep the cut on his face closed but you were relieved to see he wasn’t going to lose the eye.

Pero set down a rough textured blanket and sat beside you, handing you a mini-sized water bottle from his bag, and you didn’t take take more than a sip yet.

“What are we going to do, Pero?” He grabbed the notepad from his bag again and scribbled down one word.

Survive

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His blurry vision made it nearly impossible to climb the stairs of the apartment building, hood pulled over his head as low as it would hang to hide the marks and swelling from curious neighbors, and his steps were clumsy as he reached his landing; to the point that his knee buckled when he stepped on it wrong, making him stagger and very nearly ram his face into one of the thick metal doors.

Instead, his hands slapped onto the surface flat, to catch himself, and Pero very nearly screamed a curse to any God that might be listening when he realized it wasn’t even his door. It took every bit of grace to not fall on his ass when he reeled back a step, then two, before he hurried to try and get into his own space before she came seeking the source of the noise.

His keys slipped right out of his shaking hands though, landing with a thud on the hideous dark green carpet, and the door behind him slid open.

“Hello- oh! Pero, you’re back very early tonight.” His jaw tightened, teeth clenched to avoid making her face the brunt of his self-inflicted anger, and he used his door as a balance to bend down and get his keys off the ground. He just knew that if he looked at her it would be over, she’d see the hideous discoloration on his skin and the swelling indicative of his job.

His very illegal job, at that.

He had some regrets for not taking Oberyn up on his offer for a ride to the man’s private physician to sleep off his injuries where he’d be asked less questions. But Pero didn’t trust strangers easy, he had been hurt more for less, and wanted to recover somewhere he felt safe. She made a noise of concern when he nearly buckled getting back up and Pero’s heart lurched at the sight of something, someone’s hand, in his peripheral.

Instinct won over self-control, snatching her hand before she could touch him and immediately letting go before he did something he would regret for the rest of his life, and instead of backing off she pressed on like he hadn’t just proven that he could do serious damage to her based on his reaction time alone.

Pero flinched at the softness in her voice as she whispered his name, trying -and failing- to get his key into the damn door from how badly blurred his vision was.

When he finally turned his head to look at her the sympathy in her expression left him unable to fight it, the way she held her hand out to his, she looked so damn pretty in her flour covered apron with a smudge of it sitting high on her cheekbone and on her nose, and he slipped his keys into her hand and watched her open the door to his place with ease.

“Can I- do you have a first aid kit? Pero?”

He didn’t deserve her kindness, her care, he was only good at breaking things like her. Something soft and delicate, gentle in a way he could never hope to be, was destined for destruction and ruin in his hands.

“Sí.”

But God did he want to just be around her for a little bit longer.

She followed him inside and Pero wondered what she thought of his sparse apartment, the couch was a ratty old thing he’d gotten off the curb and instead of a dining table he had his gym equipment in that space for when he wanted to weight train at home. He had two barstools that didn’t match at the counter between the kitchen and living room, both of which came from places he’d gotten kicked out of, and the best thing in his whole place was the lumpy full-size bed tucked away in the bedroom.

But she didn’t say anything about it, sitting him on the couch and returning with the white box; it needed to be restocked soon, he had less gauze and antiseptic than he thought, and his head hung a little in shame at the fact that she could see just how often he had to resort to using this kit of his.

Pero wondered if she was starting to finally wise up and have some fear of him or his life.

He would never forget his first day in this place, taking out his trash from the few boxes he had with him, when he’d found her being hassled by two men from another building that happened to share the dumpster. They hadn’t been so brave at his arrival, when he’d tossed his things into the recycling bin and put himself between her and the bastards with a threatening silence, and finding out she lived right next to him had been a happy coincidence on her part since he could escort her to her door without having to go too far out of his way.

Even now he insisted she let him be the one to take her trash out to the dumpster, regardless of how “uptown” this place was, and in return she would give him pastries and savory breads. The experiments, she’d confessed almost conspiratorially when she’d made a chorizo cheese braid, and he wasn’t going to tell her that he struggled not to just eat everything in one sitting.

“You should really restock this thing, if you’re going to keep coming back all beat up.”

His eyes lifted to her face, the almost sheepish look she wore was so fucking pretty, and Pero’s brain finally caught up with what she’d said.

“You have seen me like this before?”

He watched her bite her lower lip in a guilty fashion, wanting to stop her and press his thumb into that plush skin instead.

“Mhm, I had a loaf of bread for you and heard you come in so I planned to give it to you before you went to bed but- you were in pretty bad shape when I looked through the peephole and you seemed… dangerous. I was worried but also, well-“ she stopped herself before sighing and Pero had a feeling he knew what she would say next. “I was scared. What if whoever hurt you ended up coming into the building after you? I thought you were attacked, or mugged, until the second or third time I saw you all bruised up. At that time, I hadn’t wanted to keep you in the open, just in case you were followed.”

“You haven’t told anyone, have you?”

He watched her head shoot up, eyes round in shock, hands immediately raising as she shook her head rapidly; as if the more rapid and wild her motions were, the more sincere she could come across. Pero was ignoring the fact that she’d worried about him that first incident, that she had wanted to protect him, he just couldn’t handle that right now.

“Of course I didn’t, Pero, I wouldn’t- I don’t know what you do and I wasn’t going to make any assumptions of you when you’ve been so kind to me.”

His heart ached at her confession, at her belief that his pride was kindness, but he couldn’t find it in him to correct her. Pero wanted her to think good of him, he wanted to try not to ruin her the way he did everything else that was soft and gentle, and he captured her hands in his as lightly as he could.

“Gracias, I will re-stock when the bruising isn’t as noticeable.”

“I could- I could go and get what you need, that way you have it on hand.”

Pero was about to argue, to fight her on this choice, but stopped himself from doing so at the determination in her expression. He didn’t get it at all, she should be fucking scared of him or worried he would hurt her.

“Why do you want to help me?”

“You’re kind to me, Pero, you protected me when nobody else did. I appreciate you and I want- I don’t like seeing you hurt and now knowing how much of this stuff you go through? I don’t know what you do and it’s not really my business but you don’t have to deal with it alone, okay?”

Those earnest eyes, wide and sweet, lips pulled down in a slight pout… he was lost to her gentle care as he nodded once and leaned his forehead down to rest against hers. He could let himself be her friend, her protector, and that would be enough. The soft press of her fingers smearing antiseptic on the very slight cuts, the ones that wouldn’t need bandages, was featherlight and so different to what he was used to.

All while she chattered about her day, about the customers at the bakery who insisted on leaving tips or the man that came in once a day and would ask her on a date each time despite her refusing constantly, and Pero hoped she didn’t notice the way his jaw clenched so he didn’t say something stupid.

His resolve about being her friend was shattering as quickly as he decided it, wanting to go to her work like an overprotective boyfriend to assess the competition. He couldn’t no matter how much he fucking wanted to.

When the last cut was cleaned, after she used one of his spare washcloths to get the blood and sweat from his face, Pero finally looked at her only to feel exposed and vulnerable at the open kindness in her eyes. He reached up and brushed away the flour smear from her nose, to distract himself, and her confusion turned into a giggle that made his heart clench.

He wanted to know if her lips were as soft as they looked, to find out if the smell of vanilla that lingered around her was a result of her baking or if she always smelled that way, but he couldn’t allow himself to find out. She deserved better than a man that could hardly read and earned his money in an illegal fighting circuit.

“Pero?” He felt his chest squeeze again, he’d been leaning up closer to her mouth as he stared at her this whole time, and he intended to back off until her breath was so close that it puffed against his lips. “Are you going to stare at me or kiss me?” His brain hadn’t quite caught up with the question but his body had, lips slanting to seal against hers, and he was right that they were so soft and sweet like the treats she made at home.

It was the first breath of air after being underwater too long, it was the spring sunshine breaking through winter’s lingering chill, it was water after walking through a desert for days. It was too much but not enough and Pero continued to ignore all the things telling him this was a bad idea, ignored all his worries and doubts, because he was right to believe that he couldn’t stop.

Now that she’d opened that door he was all but plowing through the threshold, pulling her against him to straddle his lap -she tried to fight him on that but he didn’t give her the chance because he wanted her to be as close to him as possible- as he tilted his head to slide his tongue past the seam of her lips; she yielded to him, a breathy little sound escaping her as her lips parted willingly and her tongue brushed against his.

He pulled back like he’d been struck to look at her, take in the expression of affection on her face, and even though it was a bad idea he was a greedy man.

“You want this? You want me?”

“I’ve been trying to flirt with you for weeks now, I don’t just give away things to everyone.”

The petulant look on her face made him smirk before his head tilted.

“I thought those were experiments?”

Watching her cheeks puff up as she was caught in her little white lie made him chuckle, until it really dawned on him that she’d made all those delicious little breads and pastries for him, and Pero cupped her face in his hands as if she were something fragile. He was trembling with restraint and the ache in his muscles, in the swelling on his face, began to truly set in with each little bit of time that passed.

“Thank you, I am sorry for not noticing sooner.”

“You can make it up to me by coming to mine whenever you’re coming home like this, I’ll keep my first aid kit more than stocked up.”

He wanted to argue but Pero was feeling too exposed and needed reprieve from the overwhelming softness she was practically pushing on him right now.

“Are you going to dress up like a nurse too?”

The lewd suggestion made her fluster and Pero was about to apologize, not wanting to push too far too soon, but she interrupted him with a tug on his stretched shirt collar.

“Maybe I will, if it means you’ll actually sit still and let me take care of you. If you- if you like that sort of thing I mean.”

It was his turn to fluster, his mind creating the image of her in the skintight mini-dress costume, and Pero captured her mouth in another kiss to silence the conversation before he could lose all semblance of self-control. His brain stopped him though, cutting through the desire with the blaring sirens of the implication of her words, the way she was trying to get off his lap.

He grabbed her waist, the skin and curves yielding to his hold, settling her back and bringing one hand back to hold her chin in place.

“You are beautiful, I know it’s hard for you to believe that with how many people try to tell you otherwise but it is true.” Pero could hardly care where her skin overlapped, where her clothes bunched or hung loose or even hugged tightly, none of that mattered to him and watching her eyes well up made him determined to prove to her that she was gorgeous and perfect and the one he wanted.

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Your condition wasn’t improving, even with the heavy dose of antibiotics you were taking daily, and after day two the team had lost contact with William and the others. Each day you waited there were more and more gunshots by the security forces, taking down cannibals -it had finally been confirmed after a team had scouted out one of the villages that these people were actually killing and eating other humans- and in the worst case it was one of those monsters. Even now your eyelids felt heavy and your limbs felt sore, like you were trying to move with weights holding you down, and the medics were perplexed by the sudden turn your health had taken.

Crying was pretty normal for you now, between your worry for Pero and the fear that you weren’t going to make it through this, and thankfully nobody seemed to think less of you for the depression you’d fallen into over the last week. It felt weird, you’d been… fine with the thought of dying before this when it was just you and Pero; that had been the most likely outcome, especially when you first got sick. But now? Now you were scared of going to sleep and just not waking up, it made you jolt awake nearly every hour after trying to sleep with a scream dying in your throat before you could even make a sound.

Gunshots ripped you out of your half-dazed state this time, louder and closer than they’d ever been, and the tent flap opened as a cannibal covered in blood walked through with a jagged knife in his hand that had to have come from one of the soldiers. His eyes landed on you and there wasn’t even a chance in hell at your defending yourself, your arm felt like lead and even rolling your head to look at him made you hurt. The chilling smile on his face had tears forming in your eyes, blurring your vision and making your lashes stick together, the gunfire was still going but you couldn’t even work up the power to make a sound for help.

Pain flooded every synapse in your body when that blade was stabbed down, right through the joint of your elbow, and that was when you screamed. Especially when, upon wrenching the blade free, the jagged edge of the back ripped through worse due to its serration. You flailed, the pain and adrenaline strengthening you enough to roll away from this and stumble off the bed, your feet barely supporting you as you tried to find a weapon or something. The IV lines were ripped out of your skin, the drip lines starting to spill fluid in your frantic need to escape, and you barely managed to stay upright when your vision blurred.

The cannibal laughed, a chilling sound with all the screaming and gunfire going on around you, and you hurled an instrument tray at him as a distraction before running out of the tent on stumbling feet. Bodies blocked your path as you searched for a place to hide, to find safety and shelter, and you nearly shrieked when your foot gave out and you began to tumble down a low incline. The pain of landing on river stones almost made you scream, instead you dragged yourself under the dirt overhang and laid there as all the fight escaped you at the touch of the freezing liquid, and you tried to keep quiet when you heard the footsteps above you.

For whatever reason they didn’t look for you, didn’t look under the edge of the dirt, and eventually the gunfire died down leaving nothing but silence from where you’d found yourself. Cold and shivering, pain in your arm and body, and unable to even work up the strength to move; left there in the few millimeters of water and on that cold stone waiting for death.

Maybe it was a day, maybe it wasn’t even half that, but eventually someone screaming your name broke through the dark that had lured you in like a siren song; you couldn’t move at all, couldn’t talk past the shivering, and you blinked away the blurriness as William’s face filled your vision. He picked you up, and this time you did wail as the pain in your arm turned fire hot, but he didn’t stop moving at all. William was moving fast and running hard, each step jostling you painfully and making you whimper, but you couldn’t even find the strength to fight against the discomfort.

Large, hot, hands cupped your face and Pero looked terrified; you couldn’t hear what he was saying and when you blinked again you were sure some stretch of time had passed because you were held down with something and definitely not in the woods. You didn’t realize it was inside a helicopter -and you wouldn’t know that until much later- but hours of time were lost to falling unconscious, up until you were finally admitted to the nearest hospital.

Keegan’s recovery was going smoothly, the haunted look in his eyes was still there and likely would be for a long time, but Pero had been relieved to find the other man alive. Your best friend was marked with scars from his own ordeal, meeting another survivor Eric who had been looking for his son, and Eric had been transferred to a local prison as his son was being turned over for observation by William and Lin’s unit after what he’d confessed to have done to the first rescue plane. Pero sat beside Keegan, both men silent as they waited, and after a long moment Keegan finally broke that tense emptiness.

“Have they told you anything yet?”

“No, not yet, I’ve only just agreed to go back. Haven’t been able to find out how she’s been.” He had wanted to get out, to run from this world of things that shouldn’t be real, but that forest proved there was more in the world that he didn’t know existed and that running from it once had cursed him forever.

“Doctors said she’s been woken up from her medical coma, now that they’ve finally gotten all traces of the infection out, she’s been asking about you.” Pero had been inconsolable for the past week, torn between angry pacing outside your hospital room and crying in his own, terrified that he’d failed you and that you weren’t going to make it through. Keegan had been forced to make a choice for you, as the military had not wanted to bring your family into what happened until they had a proper cover story and knew if you were going to comply to a request of discretion or not, but that choice had saved your life.

A nurse stepped out of the room and looked at both men, the look on her face was tense, but she did nod and gesture to the door; Keegan looked surprised when Pero stayed seated but then grateful before he walked into the room. Even through the closed door Pero heard your shriek of surprise and joy, heard the soft sobs as you no doubt cried that your friend had survived, and he was truly glad to have that peace of mind for you. It was less than an hour before Keegan came out, looking just as red-eyed and exhausted as Pero felt, but the cathartic crying from knowing you’d both survived had clearly helped lighten the man’s emotional load.

Pero clapped him on the shoulder, pulling him into a tight hug, and Keegan’s returning hug was just as tight as the other man broke down into soft tears again.

“Thank you, Pero, for keeping her safe. Thank you for protecting my best friend.”

“I would do it all over again, every time.”

Pero faced the door, chest tight, before walking in after Keegan departed; you were sitting up in bed, looking significantly better than when you’d first been brought here, and he watched the way your eyes widened before you were reaching for him. He ignored the guilt that slammed through him at the sight of the bandages on your left elbow covering the healing injury, the limb nearly unable to be saved if not for Keegan, and he captured your face in his hands to press his forehead to yours while you gripped the loose fabric of his henley and sobbed at the sight of him.

“You’re okay, I thought- I thought you and William and the others didn’t make it when they lost contact-“

“No, bonita, no. We found an underground lab, where they were studying those things and our radio was destroyed. I am glad that you held on long enough for us to get you here, to get you help.” He felt his own eyes water with relief, he was not proud of how he’d reacted when he returned to the camp to find it in shambles and only William managing to track you down and find you had been enough to quell his howling rage and desire to kill every single cannibal left in those woods.

“They- there’s nerve damage. Permanent nerve damage, so the doctors suggested a compression sleeve and a medicinal card for pain management, I can’t- there’s a lot I won’t be able to do now. I have no idea how I’m going to afford my bills if I can’t work, if I even have a job still.” Pero glanced at your arm again, it was in a splint to ensure that you kept it in a position that would allow it to heal, and he knew that the next part of the conversation was going to be the hardest. He sat back on the side of the bed, taking your good hand in his and just allowing himself to be relieved that you were okay.

“Your- all your medical expenses will be paid for entirely, bonita, that is something I can promise you. But the rest is a bit more complex of a situation.”

“They want to buy my silence, don’t they? They’ll pay for all my expenses if I sign that litany of NDAs you talked about before.”

“Sí, that just about sums it up. If you don’t they will paint you as a madwoman and ruin you, just like they did to Ballard when he refused to stay silent out the tao tei.” He knew you’d recognize the name, Ballard had gone public with his experience and been painted as a raving lunatic since there was no evidence anywhere to support his claims. Shamed, embarrassed, and mocked to the point that he’d taken his own life to avoid the public fallout of trying to put the government on the spot. The story of the man’s suicide had been plastered all over tabloids and conspiracy theory articles everywhere.

“I’m joining the task force again, to work with William and Lin, I tried to run from whatever magic or mutant nonsense is happening in the world once already and it clearly wasn’t done with me. I just- even if you refuse to sign those forms I will handle all your expenses myself.” Your good hand squeezed his, eyes shooting wide in alarm, and you looked away as your eyes grew misty. He hated knowing that he was making you cry, already you’d be going through extensive therapy just to try and bounce back from the mental damage this event caused, now he was compounding that emotionally.

“Keegan is too, he’s leaving to start his training tomorrow now that I’ve come out of my coma, they’ve been stalling so that he could say goodbye while he got cleared medically and… and emotionally.” There was still a lot of trauma for everyone that had made it out, and it would certainly linger, but Pero honestly wasn’t at all surprised to learn that Keegan couldn’t go back to a normal life after this. He had struggled for years to try and remind himself that not only was he alive but that it was all over, he’d barely just begun feeling like maybe he could move on at last before this happened.

“If I could go back and stop it all from happening I would-“

“I wouldn’t.”

He stopped the second you interrupted him, his eyes studying the determined and firm expression that you wore.

“I wouldn’t stop it, Pero. What I- what we had to endure was awful, but I’d rather know the truth than live in ignorance, and we have each other now. Even if nothing becomes of the interest we have for one another-“

“Bonita, I have every intention of pursuing you romantically, I will always be your friend but I would like to be more than that too if you’ll allow me the chance. You are far braver than you think of yourself, more resilient than anyone else in your situation would have been, I would love to get to know you better outside of all of that.” He watched the way your determined expression shifted to something softer, fond, the way your eyes began to water a little.

“I can’t wait.”

Sometimes you forgot that you’d been on an IV at the hospital, had access to instant painkillers that made it bearable, because the bad pain days had become a challenge.

“I don’t know why you keep doing this for me, it’s hard.” Pero didn’t answer your morose statement, the pain in your arm had been debilitating today to the point that you couldn’t even do anything but lay on the bed crying, and you watched him fold your laundry as you waited for your edible to kick in and offer you some form of relief. Your good arm reached out and Pero caught your hand, leaning down to press a kiss to your fingertips and nuzzle his cheek into your palm.

“It is not hard, Bonita, and I do this because I love you. I understand that there will be bad days mixed in with the good, I am not some… selfish boy unable to do extra chores when my girlfriend is suffering.”

“But you already split housework with me and take over whenever I’m having a bad mental day too-“

“Sí, because I love you. You have done the same for me, and during the times I am away you do everything on your own, don’t think I don’t notice that I have yet to come home to the house being left messy. I know that when I am away you push yourself through the pain to work and clean, Bonita, so please let me do this for you.” His expression was gentle and adoring, those dark eyes of his shining with affection so deep that you felt like you were drowning in his love; tears began to swim in your eyes and Pero shoved the pile of clothes back into the hamper with his other hand before climbing into the bed and pulling you so that you were half draped over his chest and his other hand could hold the back of your head.

“I’m sorry you have to clean up after me all the time-“

“I do not and you know this, we’ll have to ensure you have a small stash of edibles by the bed for days that you cannot get up at all from how bad your pain is, that’s all. You’re only this distressed over it because this is the second day in a row that you’ve woken up with this pain level, I will call the doctor and get see what they recommend.”

But with those bad days came good ones, when you woke up feeling okay and being able to do whatever you needed to get done, and on those days you struggled with keeping your tasks minimal because you knew that it would be far too easy to push yourself just a bit too much.

“I can do it!” Your voice was chipper and light as you took the bag from Keegan and blew a raspberry at his offended call of your name, scampering up the steps into his apartment before he could try and take the craft goods back and hand them off to Jackie or Leah who were already overburdened with bags. You began organizing what had already been brought up, you couldn’t exactly join this year’s ‘crochet seven days away’ project so instead you were hanging out as moral support, in the past you had ended up doing more with fetching snacks and drinks or making sure nobody ran out of material anyway so it wasn’t like it’d be too different.

The project for this year was a massive blanket and with three people working on nonstop you were wondering just how much progress would be made, the challenge was to make as big of whatever it was you’d picked as possible, and you weren’t missing this year just because of what happened. You’d packed your clothes and some edibles to tide you over, all three of your compression sleeves, and Pero knew where you were at and promised to stop by if you needed him for anything.

“So, uh, not to be grim but- have you considered what the doctor’s suggested?” Keegan glanced sharply at Jackie while Leah winced where she was pulling out and sorting the material by color.

“Yes and no, I have good days too and it’s not like amputating the damaged part of my arm is going to fix everything. Yes the nerve pain will be gone for the most part but I’d have the waiting period and physical therapy for any prosthetic to consider too. Plus… I’d be agreeing to get my arm taken off.” You glanced at your colorful sleeve cover, Keegan and the girls had made long glove style arm warmers that you could use to hide your compression sleeve, this one was the first of the bunch and made with a sunset gradient of colors and snap closures.

“You know I’m not pressuring you right? I just want you to feel comfortable in your own skin, girl. I’m glad you’re doing okay and that you’re going to therapy, that you are taking care of yourself and that Pero is taking care of you, and this is your choice. We’ll all support you no matter what you pick.” Jackie’s smile was warm and you nodded since you knew she hadn’t meant it badly, she’d been through this scenario before with a cousin that had lost a portion of his leg and foot to diabetes when he refused to get himself any type of help, that all she wanted to do was offer you a space to vent about how you felt with your choices.

You couldn’t tell them the whole truth of what happened, and neither could Keegan, but your friends didn’t need to know the whole truth to understand your conflict.

Some days you felt the most normal, the pain tolerable enough that you didn’t need to self-medicate but wanting to stay home and relax, these days were among Pero’s favorite since it always involved movies or TV shows watched together or even just reading something aloud while he laid with his head in your lap.

“Alright, you win. There are fan writers out there who can provide a more compelling story than some of the fiction novels that I have read.” Pero had challenged your love of fanfiction, after catching you reading an update on your phone when you thought he was asleep -you’d lost a boyfriend over a particularly smut-filled fanfic he’d found by going through your browser history (a high key "what the fuck")- so fessing up to Pero had been really nerve-wracking. But instead of meeting you with mocking behavior he’d been curious, asking why you enjoyed it and what your favorites were.

“I am a man who watches porn, Bonita, treating you reading sex scenes in writing as worse is stupid.” Pero’s comment back then had earned him a smile and a kiss that left your toes curling when he took control of it, the fact that he was just so good about your reading proved that you had truly found a great man.

“Should I leave a review about how much you loved Stranger at my Gate? How you identified so well with the main character?” He hummed and nodded, dictating the review that you tapped out on your phone, and you read it back to him before submitting it. Pero looked up at you for a moment as you navigated out of the fic to the main pairing page, setting your phone aside to look down at him, and he turned his head to press a kiss to the inside of your left elbow where your scars shimmered in the low lighting of the living room. You smiled and leaned down to kiss him, making Pero lean up into it, and he shifted to turn around so he could drape himself on you.

Laying down like a content cat with his full weight pressing you into the sofa, his head resting so his ear was right over your heart. It was moments like this, when the light was low and it was calm, that you both just took the time to breathe and remember that you were alive and okay now.

There were also days you spent together that were a much different flavor of being together.

He was devouring you, his broad shoulders wedging your legs open, one of his hands was gripping at your hip while the other held yours; his mouth opened wider and your back arched off the bed, the grip you had on his hair tightening as his tongue swirled to collect more of your wetness. Pero called himself a messy eater and he was no different when it was his mouth between your legs, smearing his face with saliva and slick as he dropped his chin to circle your entrance and the curve of his nose nudged your swollen clit.

“P-pero-!” You had lost count how many times he had made you come already, you had woken up wet and needy from a dream that slipped away like a phantom, and your beloved boyfriend had been happy to rise to the task of sating you. Hips hips rutted against the mattress, delaying his own release to make you sink into the mattress from love drunk exhaustion, and you tugged at his hair as your body ached to feel him.

Those dark eyes swam with delight and he came willingly, dragging his skin along yours, his messy mouth slotting to your own as you felt the heft of him drag along your slit before he sheathed himself with a slow thrust; it was easy with how wet you were, his saliva and your wet release making him sigh with pleasure into your very lungs as you breathed him in.

In the beginning he’d been gentler, unwilling to add to the pain that you already experienced, but time together -years together now- helped him heal with you and his rough thrust jolted your body as you grabbed at his back and curled your legs around his hips and thighs. Pero let out a throaty sound against the side of your neck when he dragged his mouth along your skin, the wet sounds of his hips meeting yours joining the symphony of heavy breaths and soft moans, and as he shifted his knees just a touch to angle your hips your sighs became soft mewls.

“Come for me, Bonita, soak me.” Pero braced himself on one arm so he could grab your chin, angle your head to mouth at the soft spot right below your ear, and even if you wanted to deny yourself he’d made you soft and sensitive and pliant; the clutch of you mingling with your own gasp of his name and Pero’s hips stuttered as he filled you with him. Your breaths were hot and your sweat slicked bodies were close, and you just clung to him as Pero rolled onto his side and just held you.

Days apart were always harder but the reunions made them worth it.

Jamil handed you a stack of files and you set them down at your desk, a stable job had been your only demand for signing the litany of NDAs upon getting out of the hospital, and the government had employed you to work in the same line of covert operations that Pero did just from the safety of a desk. Pero and his team had been gone for a week now, not the shortest amount of time but nowhere near the longest, and you were doing okay for now. There had been a bad pain day just yesterday, making work difficult but you’d fought through it to avoid the mocking stares of the others, and you could practically feel the weight of those looks on your compression sleeve.

It was no secret what happened to you, the former department leader had all but dressed you down in front of everyone when you’d called out due to a bad pain day, basically telling everyone that you weren’t allowed to act like some princess and skip work by faking any pain. He hadn’t lasted long after that, you hadn’t intended to get him fired but the man made one mistake by calling Lin -who was his boss- to tell her that he wanted you gone. Pero had made quite the show of walking into the room behind his friends, the day after, decked out in his tactical gear and the man had been not only fired but also subjected to lawsuits out the ass for violating HR policies by talking about your experience and disability to others without your consent.

Now the entire office was terrified of you, hated you and excluded you from everything with the fear that they would be next, except for Jamil. You were far from blind to the fact that his kindness stemmed from a desire to be left alone, him being okay with you made everyone else leave him be, but you were okay with that because he made it a little more tolerable during the workday. His favorite thing was to tell you god awful puns and dad jokes, one an hour, just to make you laugh.

You went home to an empty house and went through the motions of showering, not bothering to pick up your work clothes off the floor today after getting changed, and dropped down onto the bed. Bad pain days always left you feeling out of sorts, reaching out to the bedside table and grabbing one of the edibles from the little organizer case that Pero put together for you, and you drifted off to sleep as the pain dulled and your mind drifted through the haze of semi-consciousness into the arms of Morpheus.

What disrupted your sleep was the weight of the blankets covering you, the bed shifting under someone’s weight, and your half-open gaze spotted Pero’s form slide into bed before he pulled you into his body as he whispered words of love into the crown of your head. But his spicy body wash and the warmth of him fresh out of the shower lulled you back into a deeper rest now that he was here, now that he was home.

It was a hard life being on this side of the truth, nightmares you would never escape plaguing your sleep sometimes, but you were okay and you would continue to be okay. Together.

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