#chaoticeddie

How easy it is, to fall for a mortal.

This is not new to him, but he’s managed to maintain such a careful distance from others for so very many years. From everyone, mortal or not. Until now.

And now, it seems as though the world has started to spin around Zhongli once again, to toss him headfirst into the center of it all. To leave him surrounded by those he cannot bring himself to want to escape.

He can feel the bitter sort of smile that touches his lips - oh, what pain he’s in store for. There is a reason that he’s made a point of keeping himself apart from others for so long.

“Xiansheng?” A hand waved in front of his face, and Zhongli blinks himself back to awareness, to this vibrant reality that he cannot escape. To Childe, brow raised and hand drifting back to the table, an amused smile on his lips. “Did I lose you again?” he asks with a laugh.

Zhongli hums. No, not yet. I suspect that I will be the one to lose you, after all.

“Apologies, Childe. Lost in my thoughts, as always.” The smile that touches his own lips feels genuine, brought on by the mere sight of Childe across from him. A product of their too-regular lunch dates, though he will not call them such unless Childe indicates that he’d like them to be.

At the moment, they are simply meals shared by colleagues of the same institution, or perhaps meals shared by friends, if he dares to think so boldly.

“What this time?” Childe asks easily, takes a bite of the food now sitting in front of them. When it’d arrived, Zhongli is not entirely certain, but steam drifts up to his face, so it can’t have been here long.

There’s a notable pause, though, one that Zhongli finds hard to fill - what to say? That he’s been unexpectedly tangled up in the thoughts of his own immortality? Of Childe’s mortality?

“Something to do with those friends of yours?” Childe prompts, then, and Zhongli tips his head at the tone - not quite jealousy, he thinks, but...something unusual. Curiosity, most definitely. Zhongli hums, pokes at his food for a moment.

“In a sense,” he says finally. Childe’s gaze flicks up, then back to his food. Something twists in Zhongli’s chest, his own uncertainty at what appears to be Childe’s. “I do apologize if they set you on edge, their visit was rather unexpected.”

“On edge? Oh, no,” Childe says with a laugh, a slight force to his smile, and it makes Zhongli’s brows furrow. They are not...exceptionally close - certainly not as close as Zhongli would like - but he would hope that Childe would not hide his discomfort so quickly.

“I just wasn’t aware you even had friends.”

Zhongli’s lips part, and Childe bursts into laughter, loud and raucous. In spite of himself, a smile touches Zhongli’s lips at the teasing.

“It has been quite a while since I’d last seen them,” he admits. A very long while - though Childe could not possibly know the true magnitude of years that he implies with such a statement. “But I’m glad you had the chance to meet them.”

“So you said.” A flicker of...something in Childe’s gaze when he glances up, though Zhongli can’t quite determine what it is - maybe something positive, given the way that Childe’s lip ticks up ever so slightly at the corner. “They must be very good friends, then.”

Zhongli tips his head - friends indeed, though at one point they were something more. Would it bother Childe to know that? He’s not certain, though a sort of thrill runs through his chest at the idea - a feeling he quickly dismisses. He has no true desire to provoke feelings of jealousy, in the event that knowing of his past romantic relationships with Osial and Azhdaha might do so.

Still, the reason behind such jealousy is something Zhongli would very much like to know about.

“They are indeed good friends. I’m surprised to see them, but not displeased,” he adds, and decides better of mentioning anything more than that. Rather unexpectedly, though, Childe dips his head, pokes absently at his food.

“We could’ve rescheduled, if you wanted to spend some time catching up. It’s no trouble.” Zhongli stifles a breath of amusement - very well, perhaps he’s provoked some jealousy in spite of himself. He does not entirely mind it.

“I assure you, they can wait.” They are gods, after all, and Zhongli will indulge himself in taking as much time with Childe as he can get. “They are not the only good friends with whom I wish to spend my time,” he adds, and finds himself inordinately pleased with the way Childe’s smile spreads, the way he glances to the side for a moment before coughing out a breath of laughter.

“You flatter me,” he says, tone entirely humorous now. Zhongli lets a genuine smile touch his lips, though. He’d gladly spend hours flattering Childe, if he so desired. Or perhaps just to satisfy his own desires, to see the flush of pink on his cheeks at an unexpected compliment, the subtle surprise before he brushes Zhongli’s words off as teasing.

You’re too much, sometimes, you know that Xiansheng? Words that Zhongli hears even if Childe does not say them aloud this time. He feels that he will never quite desire to be anything less, so long as Childe continues to appreciate his presence.

“I mean it,” Zhongli says easily, perhaps a bit too easily, but Childe only huffs out another breath of laughter, lifts a bite to his mouth. “I must say,” he adds, switches topics if only to avoid overwhelming Childe with any number of other things he’d like to say. “This food is quite delicious. I’m afraid I haven’t ever been to Snezhnaya, but perhaps I should make a trip there sometime.”

This is not an entirely true statement, though he can certainly admit he hasn’t visited the frosty country in Childe’s lifetime, and that will have to do for the moment. Childe perks up at his words, though, and swallows as he points a fork in Zhongli’s direction.

“That’s a crime. That’s an actual crime, the next time you’re on sabbatical, I’ll- uh-” He stops short, though, a stunned sort of panic on his face, and Zhongli hangs rather unexpectedly onto his words.

“You’ll…” he prompts, when several seconds pass without any further input from Childe. A lovely shade of pink dusts his cheeks, then, and Zhongli tips his head. Wonders what might’ve put it there, if Zhongli had something to do with it.

“Never mind,” Childe mumbles, almost to himself, and he lifts another bite. Shakes his head at Zhongli’s inquisitive stare, offers a strange sort of smile. It does little to corral Zhongli’s curiosity.

An ancient, long-slumbering part of him awakens, surges forth at the prospect of encouraging Childe to say what he’s now holding back. Admittedly, it takes Zhongli by surprise, and he blinks for a few moments before clearing his throat.

“Well, I suppose I’m due for a sabbatical anyway. My research in Liyue can only take me so far,” he adds, warming to the idea already. “It has been too long since I last took a look at other countries’ mythologies…”

To refer to them as such brings a smile to his lips, though Childe can’t possibly know the reason behind it.

For him, the gods are little more than myth, tales passed down - and watered down - over generations until they’ve all but become fantastical bedtime stories for young children. It’s laughable, the way some of his own students dismiss the prowess of Morax as inconceivable, unrealistic. Mythological, for that is what he teaches, and the only way to ensure the history is passed down, retained in some capacity, even if it is not regarded as truth.

“Snezhnaya does have a rather different range of mythology in relation to Liyue,” Childe says, almost offhand, though his gaze remains interestingly fixed on Zhongli. Or, rather, quite fixed in short intervals, between which he stares ardently at his food.

“Does it?” Zhongli prompts, earns a hum from Childe. “I wasn’t aware a professor of marine biology was also an expert on Snezhnayan mythology.” He is quite acutely aware of his own baiting, and does not mind in the slightest.

“Ah, expert might be an exaggeration,” Childe says with a laugh, now, and Zhongli hums his own amusement. “But it’s still pretty prevalent, taught in most schools alongside history.” This, Zhongli will admit, is news to him.

“Is it? What an intriguing concept.” Would that the Qixing did not readily dismiss Liyue’s history - ‘mythology’ - quite so easily.

“I assume that’s not how it’s done in Liyue?” Childe laughs, question rhetorical in nature, and Zhongli tips his head in agreement. “Well, it’s certainly an interesting place to study, if you don’t mind the cold,” Childe adds at Zhongli’s silence.

He very much does mind the cold, but the idea has latched with barbed hooks into his chest, and it clings to him as he watches Childe take a final bite of his food.

“I think I would like to know more about Snezhnaya,” he says, and means that he would like to know more about Childe. About the country he grew up in, the culture and stories that surrounded him before his departure. The reason, too, that he’d chosen to come teach in Liyue of all places.

Childe laughs, though, and Zhongli lifts his brows.

“That easy to convince you, is it?” Zhongli only hums at this, lets an amused smile touch his lips.

“Perhaps. That said…” He very well may be playing with fire, but he is thousands upon thousands of years old. Life would get rather boring if he avoided taking some risks every now and then.

“I feel I might be entirely lost without some guidance,” he says, and fixes Childe with a pointed stare. Childe, for his part, blinks in startled confusion for a moment. And then those blue eyes widen, and Childe clears his throat.

“Well, I can certainly point out some places to begin your research,” he says, mostly to his empty plate. An unexpected flush crawls across his cheeks, and it ignites a bright flame in Zhongli’s chest. He clenches a hand tightly, forces it to remain where it is. Not to reach across the table, wrap itself around Childe’s hand.

“Hm,” he starts, and waits in silence until Childe’s gaze flicks up. “That would certainly be helpful, however…” Childe watches him now, and it is rather intoxicating, the parted lips, the way he leans in, caught on Zhongli’s words. “It might be more...practical to have someone accompany me instead.” A pause, and Childe swallows. Zhongli keeps his expression very much in check as he tips his head. “Someone more familiar with Snezhnaya and its culture. And mythology, of course.”

Childe’s mouth opens wider, like he might be about to speak, then snaps shut. Zhongli watches with amused fascination as his rather telling expression closes off, turns into something composed. Amused. Fabricated, though he cannot magically rid himself of the blush that’s settled across his cheeks.

“Well, I could perhaps put you into contact with one of my colleagues-”

“Childe.” He stops, lips parted, and his eyes flick back and forth between Zhongli’s. “Would you like to accompany me?” He thinks to perhaps add a pretense there, ‘accompany me to assist with my research, to provide invaluable information on Snezhnayan mythology,’ or some such other logical reasoning.

But he does not want to. If he allows himself a moment of brutal honesty with himself, he wants Childe. Wants more than just these lunch dates that are not dates, this careful dancing around each other. Wants to know, very much, if Childe wants these things as well.

For a few rather terrifying moments, Childe’s lips open and close not unlike those fish he studies, and Zhongli waits with his heart in his throat. Remarkable, he thinks, that he’s even found himself here - falling yet again for a mortal, a person he will more than outlive.

For someone who makes his heart race, makes him daring. Makes him want to participate in the world, to step outside of his comfort zone here in Liyue and try something new. Someone who makes him want to fall.

“And how long do you intend to take me away from my own research?” Childe says finally, and Zhongli’s heart skips a beat. That is not a rejection.

“For as long as you’d like to work with me,” Zhongli says too quickly, too easily. For as long as you’d like to be with me, he thinks to himself, and wonders what Childe thinks of the idea, truly.

Does he see Zhongli as an associate, a coworker, a friend? Someone he enjoys spending time with, but only to a certain degree? Or does he see this as something more, something filled with hope and potential and-

Childe coughs out a laugh, bright and vibrant, and Zhongli itches to reach out, to brush fingers along the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. To taste that laugh on his lips, see if it’s quite as sweet as it sounds.

“Well, Xiansheng-” A nickname that Zhongli will never tire of, and it makes his chest glow with something warm and light. “It just so happens that I’ve already applied for a sabbatical of my own, to return to visit family in Snezhnaya.” He shakes his head, then, and Zhongli’s lips part in mild surprise.

For Zhongli was not the one to bring up the idea of him taking a sabbatical to visit Snezhnaya.

“Is that so?” he asks, a thread of knowing twisted into his tone, and Childe’s lip ticks up in a smirk that says he’s quite aware of his own machinations. “Well, I can hardly pass up the opportunity to travel for my research, then, if you’ll be there to act as my guide.”

Childe’s grin widens, and Zhongli gets a distinct sense that he feels he’s won. As though Zhongli would’ve required such persuasion. As though Zhongli hasn’t won in his own right.

“Then it’s settled?” he asks, and oh, Zhongli’s heart aches for the hope in his tone. “I intend to leave at the start of next term, if you plan to align your sabbatical with mine.” He takes a sip of his drink, some sparkling thing that Zhongli never acquired a taste for.

He thinks he could, if he tasted it on Childe’s lips.

“I’ll chat with the head of department about it.” He pauses, watches Childe lean back in his chair, confidence all but oozing from him - the cat that got the canary. Again, that slumbering beast stirs in Zhongli’s chest, a feeling long forgotten and slow to wake properly. He lets his gaze settle on Childe, rest there and stay for a while.