#chanda hahn

Joss

AKA why I hate men ✨

There are very few men in Thalia's life who genuinely care about her as a person. Most of the men, especially love interests like Joss and Fenri, only care about whatever benefit they can get from Thalia.

Joss in TIB is caring, but it stems from whatever sense of responsibility he feels over her from rescuing her from the river with Darren. In TIB he's inconsiderate of her boundaries as he tries to be closer to her and attempts to make assumptions and decisions for her without discussion, such as when he:

Touches her without permission multiple times despite her obvious truama

Takes ahold of her hand during the resetting of her leg and forces her to allow him to take her pain

Sees her practicing archery on Faraway and removes her from him

Forces himself into her room to act as her guard

Pulls her to the side and kisses her without permission

He makes it very obvious in TIB that he feels as if Thalia *owes him* a romantic relationship.

In TSW he is increasingly more inconsiderate towards Thalia and her feelings, acting as dense as a fucking rock at times when she's obviously uncomfortable. He forces her to hide her feelings and remain uncomfortable by weaponizing guilt and being dismissive ("this is for my sister" "think about my parents" "this engagement is only for show... for my sister.")

TL;DR Joss feels entitled to a relationship with Thalia for rescueing her, he's inconsiderate of her emotions, he uses his relationship for personal gain.

I wrote a lot but in my defense I really hate Joss lmao

Fenri

Fenri's crimes against Thalia are incredibly obvious, and Thalia even points out herself that his anger towards her calling for the Kragh Aru rather than becoming his lifemate is a matter of pride to him. That he sees himself as strong, smart, and worthy to be the next clan leader. He claims he has feelings for Thalia, but they must be rather shallow if he verbally assaults her the way he does. And he kisses her without permission as well! Thalia!!! Stop letting men get away with doing that to you!!!

During the first half of TSW his attitude towards his relationship with Thalia is entitled, similar to Joss. Unlike Joss he's openly antagonistic whenever he feels as if things between them aren't going his way or that she insults his pride in some way.

TL;DR Fenri feels entitled to a relationship with Thalia for maintaining her secret, he's inconsiderate of her emotions, he attempts to use a relationship for personal gain.

Kael

Kael, you beautiful asshole of a man. He's redeemable because he actually does care for Thalia beyond whatever benefit can be gained from a relationship with her. Which... There is no benefit for him, besides staying alive and maintaining his honor as a SwordBrother. Thalia is nothing if not an inconvenience for him.

Unfortunately Kael viewing her as nothing but an inconvenience is where his issues come in: He's an asshole towards her, through and through. He berates her, mocks her, taunts her, insults her, invades her personal space, attempts to take her life at one point? is rude, refuses any sort of open and nonconfrontational dialogue with her, and literally does everything he can to make her hate him. All on purpose, he feels as if it's better for the both of them if they hate each other. In TIB I think he actually does tell Thalia that he hates her...

In TSW Kael is more expressive of his emotions, but refuses to be clear about them. He begins to show actual care for her, again without any benefit for himself. The threat of losing her is a genuine fear for her wellbeing rather than his own. He's winning points I'll give him that.

TL;DR Kael is an asshole towards Thalia but his genuine care for her is what redeems him.

Misc others (up to 3/4 into TSW)

The Adepts, Bearen, Bvork, Rayneld, the Septori: All deny Thalia autonomy in some way, physically threaten her, or physically abuse her.

(in the case of the Adepts: think the one guy who wanted to experiment on her (the literal thing that traumatized her) and the one dude who pulled the fake knife stunt on her without warning when demonstrating the paint knife (not a cool thing to do to someone who's been in life threatening situations multiple times).

TL;DR on why I hate men: I'm a lesbian and all of these guys are nothing but inconsiderate and/or assholes towards Thalia over the course of their ✨romantic plotlines✨

Faraway and Wolf are the only men in this series who is valid and worthy of love and adoration 🧡

“But what if I fail?”

“Oh, darling, but what if you succeed?”