hi! qastion. for everyone. if your OC smokes in some capacity, what do they smoke. how do they smoke it. like are they more into cigarettes or cigars or like. blunts. bongs. whats the situation i'm nosy again
For @stabknives <3
Xiang smokes. Benefits of not being human— don’t have to worry about LAME cancer. Sue me it’s hot too. Fire. Etc. Usually smokes cigarettes but has smoked cigars too. Usually after pilfering from somebody else lmfao.
Vietnam has a HUGE and long cultural history with tabacco and smoking… Henry smokes while Klos does so occasionally. I have the specific cigarette brands/notes for those used by vietcong veterans etc but that’s another level of brain rot… maybe link later
Law smokes. It’s one of his ‘hobbies’ that’s really just another self destructive habit. Only cigarettes for him this is NOT for enjoyment he is smoking crappy cigs.
Chan Hap doesn’t smoke, super health conscious. #healthy breakfast
Lou doesn’t smoke. His smoke breaks are just him staring off into space disassociating
Guerra smoked but quit in Vietnam for the simple fact that he could trade cigarettes for rations and eating > smoking. Forced withdrawal was not pretty but wasn’t like he was doing great before either lmfao. Has tried weed at Least once and has dealt in it before. In another world he could’ve been Martha’s drug dealer lmfao.
Lau isn’t unfamiliar with smoking, thinking his dad was a smoker and besides smoking more normalized in the 50s-60s + espec in more working class areas. He personally doesn’t smoke though. The smell is familiar but he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like weed since it messes/can mess with cognitive functioning/he likes to be aware.
Lorne has done everything at least once. Sigh. He smokes if it’s to get closer to victims, smoke breaks etc. do NOT share a blunt with this guy 99% chance he spiked the weed or added something else to the mix. Anyway. Spiking drinks and foods like through edibles is fun for him
Agatha’s dad smoked and some of her brothers did too. Her mom always chastised them and Agatha favored her mom so took her side ofc lol. She does not think smoking is cool. It just makes her think of her cringe fail brothers etc. is too scared to try weed without anyone she trusts nearby 😔 and then never gets the chance to because. Well. She guts herself lmfao
Lorraine tried weed when she moved to LA but prefers edibles to get high. She doesn’t like the smell of cigarettes or weed. Some thoughts about connection to her childhood in Louisiana might elaborate later
Martha smoked weed pretty regularly. Hippie culture. Lorne probably spiked it at least once when um. Hunting her. more vulnerable than you know. Gaslights her if asked if something else was in it.
Matthew and Gordon both smoke. Intricate rituals you know. Gordon smokes cigars, nice ones, in his office but he smokes cigarettes too (also high quality ones) and enjoys both! Matthew is the classic picture of a cook leaving the kitchen for a smoke break. He’s a stress/contemplative smoker. He stops smoking as much when he starts working at the firm because the smell lingers inside. Even when/if he quits completely he still carries a lighter with him because Gordon somehow always forgets his ✋🙄
Had a snippet of China and Vietnam smoking together but shame demons refuse to let me post it so
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Set between Childhood arc and Bad Timing arc. No fun comments here Chan Hap just makes me emotional man :(( baby...
Overall: God damn it. It's the way that even now that he's older, in many ways Chan Hap is still that little kid looking up to Lou with feelings too big to express/that he doesn't yet understand. And he internalizes this role still in terms of power dynamics and roles. He has similar issues with projecting onto Lou/the Lou in his head like Law but all these thoughts and feelings have a much more, almost defeated/accepting tone. He doesn't have the same issues as Law pushing back against his feelings; he's built them into his character. He is the one who loves Lou. That's all. Throws up and dies.
First and second line: Lou has always been more reserved which means Chan Hap was just even more fascinated/enraptured. It's like those little kids who always gravitate to the older cousin who is indifferent lol. But the soft almost worship-like tone these lines take :(
Third line: This feeling of seeing Lou hurt but being unable to do anything but be there/feeling helpless... Chan Hap wants to help similar to Law but he always feels like his help is lacking. It's that internalized thought process from when he was younger since obviously he couldn't help Lou with how young he was compared to him but that insecurity has followed him to adulthood.
Fourth line: Law might have had church but Chan Hap had Lou. :)) anyway.
First line and second line: Definitely just referring to everything post Childhood arc. Everything collapsing in such a short span of time, no closure... and of course his future being laced/poisoned by the military industrial complex :) especially so when he begins to have doubts with the military but still has to serve/face that future
Third and fourth line: Refers to hearses of course... heartbreak also being a type of death. And how both death and heartbreak are common/known in the military. But with the line 'I was in the back seat'-- something about Chan Hap's heartbreak and internal strife not being visible or seen by others/not allowed to show that grief (homophobia win). It's all about the isolation of grief compounded by the nature of his feelings and relationship to Lou.
I also see the fourth line as Chan Hap not realizing what he's experiencing is heartbreak until later. He was riding in this car with this ache he lacked a name for for Lou, similar to his feelings when he was younger (his crush). So he took it in stride/assumed it was normal-- 'just minding my own'. But it's only now that he's driving away/overseas he realizes what the car he was riding was all along. Not an escape but just further grief and fracturing, both distance from his home, from Lou, but also his conflicted morals the longer he stays in the military and sees more behind the scenes dirty laundry etc.
First, second, and third line: "through the glass" -> I see this as Chan Hap's POV from inside the big black car/hearse. Crows here represent death and decay-- decay of relationships and ties back home, the fear of losing his connection to Lou, all of that good stuff :) but Chan Hap holding that goal in his fist of returning to Hong Kong... like rain the crows will wash away and give Chan Hap a clean slate/field to start over
Fourth and fifth line: This is Chan Hap's little voice in the back of his head/doubt-- if heartbreak will really be the only type of love he'll ever know or experience :(( But also how this is only a possibility which makes him even more determined to return and find Lou
First and second line: Pun here-- dancer and rag (ragtime, a type of music). You again see this unfavorable comparison of himself to Lou (similar to the pedestal Law puts Lou on but phrased more accepting/as if it was the natural state of things/the only way Chan Hap could ever see him and Lou).
There's this idea of Chan Hap being in the background compared to Lou-- the music to his dancer, which is an interesting contrast to the first verse comparing the other to a phonograph. (of course phonograph being a tool to play music/use and fine-tune sound... Chan Hap feeling like he's his best self with Lou :(( ) 'The song in my head, well, was all that I had' -> that song being Chan Hap's love and affection/devotion and paralleling Law, that image in his head of the two of them. This feeling of never having had Lou, only in his dreams (the first verse of 'you were a miracle, I was just holding your space)... :(
Third line: Chan Hap and Lou's pen pal era </3 when Chan Hap is overseas... despite this communication (leading to Chan Hap being more grounded with Lou as a person/in reality compared to Law) Chan Hap still being unable to express his feelings... the fragile hope that Lou also feels some way about Chan Hap... 'do you miss me? do you want me to come back? would you welcome me if i did return?'. But it would wreck Chan Hap if Lou said no. All the letters Chan Hap writes but doesn't send :) just being his journal practically.
Fourth line: The idea the military is supposed to be protecting the country vs. the realities of U.S. Imperialism :^) besides, the only country/loyalty Chan Hap really had was for Lou but he couldn't even keep that... the 'we' not referring only to Chan Hap and Lou but to all three of them-- Law, Lou, and Chan Hap. Despite the little oasis of friendship and love and connection they had, it ended up being ripped apart in the end. Chan Hap feeling like its a failure on his end/he shoulders some responsible for them breaking up (or maybe.. here me out Chan Hap.. you were 15. a kid :( he's not listening he has his airpods in </3)
First line: Hm.. had an idea/thought of the boys getting to go to an amusement park in Hong Kong <3 just reminiscing. But also 'go 'round and 'round' -> referring to a merry-go-around but also how childhood feels like it doesn't/won't end + also the hope that what goes around comes around/Chan Hap can return to that place, if not that time.
Second line: How all three boys lacked a real home/fail to even understand the concept. Home not as somewhere safe but where things ended/dreams died (sunset) and some clowns (those who didn't understand them, especially the case/feeling with Chan Hap. That teenage isolation/urge/need to find some community </3).
Side notes: This memory of the carnival/fair being a core one/treasured by Chan Hap; home just being them three and the sunset behind them. But also the way Chan Hap's memories of Hong Kong are slowly flattened the longer he is away/fading memories of what a warm cup of milk tea tasted like etc :( until home is just the little scraps in his mind and Lou's letters/Lou
First and second line: Even though Lou isn't anything special he is to Chan Hap. To Chan Hap he is the 'plain Jane', especially after he returned to Hong Kong, because he no longer knows who he is. He is washed out. But Lou still shines to Chan Hap (and the slight issues he still has of an image of Lou in his head etc etc :) ) The second line just being literal; Chan Hap now being a wanderer, but also "covered in rain" -> even though he's back he still has some of that heartbreak and grief following/trailing him.
Third, fourth, and fifth line: Chan Hap's insecurity that he wasn't as pivotal or even worth-mentioning or recalling in Lou's memories :(( and hoping that even now having returned lost, aimless (plain Jane) Lou would allow Chan Hap to be part of his story again (and ideally in a healed version <3 make it their story.. ofc that isn't what happens </3 so). Although there is a little talking down here by Chan Hap there is a hint of acceptance of his own fragile nature ("Just me and all of my plain Jane glory) again he's so close to healing ahhh OTL
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A: It doesn’t hit immediately/how severe that injury is. It’s the way kids sometimes don’t realize the long term consequences of their actions.. I mean keep in mind Chan Hap is 15 here vs Law Gin Ying being 17
Also. He doesn’t know anything about the piano competition because in the finale of this arc the reader at least realizes how all these boys have so many issues they just did not share out loud or communicate to anyone, even each other despite (or because) of their closeness
He didn’t mean to. It wasn’t with malicious intent. But the thing is the events after happen so fast for Chan Hap he doesn’t have time to regret or make amends. I mean he gets expelled and then moves to America!!!! There’s. It’s bad timing (name drop lol). There’s no time for reconciliation. Because obviously Law Gin Ying gets rushed to the hospital right after. So yeah. In fact that’s the last time they see each other— when Chan Hap breaks his hand…
All three’s thoughts on each other during the Childhood Arc
Law POV:
Lou my best friend who I care for and am protective over and have no weird feelings about. At all. Stfu abt it. And about how what I feel for him is different from everyone else. If I don’t analyze this it doesn’t exist.
Chan Hap annoying kid who is a bad influence on Lou and is too immature. Lou seems to see him as some sort of little brother but he’s more trouble than he’s worth. I tolerate him for Lou but I can’t stand him.
Lou POV:
Law… I can’t offer much in return so I don’t know why he hangs around. I guess we’re friends. He’s someone close to me. I trust him. I can’t offer anything back. This relationship is a burden.
Chan Hap is a kid who gets into scraps and is immature. But I’m still fond of him. I can take care of him in small ways. This I can do.
Chan Hap POV:
I admire Lou so much and he’s so cool but I also don’t understand him at all. He always looks so empty but he’s soft when he cares for me. It makes me feel weird when Law is always with him. I want to be with him all the time.
Law is cocky and overbearing and always tries to shoo me off. I hate him! He’s such a party pooper and suck up.
Naming What You Want is split into three arcs. I’ve mostly been talking about and covering the first arc, Childhood (1975-1978).
The second arc, Bad Timing, starts in 1987. The name is a reference both to geopolitical events and personal events of all the characters. For Lou— the Chinese and British government have just agreed to demolish the Walled City leaving his potential future reeling. For Chan Hap— he’s just come back from America after an overseas tour disillusioned w the US imperialist dream but unsure what to do next. Also the US has the finacial crisis/stock market crash later in the year. Law— his father is thinking of sending him over to the US to help with Triad and gang activists there especially in the light of all the anti corruption campaigns of the 70-80s leaving the Triad weakened in some areas.
It’s such a mess which is only natural after the first arc, Childhood, ends so abruptly and chaotically. And it’s going to be loads of fun! 🥰 I have no idea what the characters are going to do now though. I’m talking through the story now with a friend and finding connections as I go .. timeline stuff yk.
