#chan full

-

You were always a quiet child. You weren't around other kids a lot, so starting school was a bit scary to your five year old mind. The other kids were quick to become friends, but you were too scared to approach them. Nobody even spared a glance in your direction, all of them thinking you were just a weird quiet girl. That was until recess.

A boy your age approached you with a big smile on his lips. "Hello!"

You eyed him, surprised that someone was actually talking to you. The only person that tried to talk to you so far was your teacher, and now him. "Hi.."

"I'm Chan!"

This boy was so full of energy, and he was so kind. You smiled at him, standing up to shake his hand. "I'm y/n."

"You and I should be friends." He concluded. You gave him a confused look, but you couldn't help the little smile that appeared on your lips.

"Why?"

"Because you're sitting alone, and everyone should have friends." He informed you with a know it all tone. "Now come on y/n. Let's go play on the swing set!"

You were after him within seconds, chasing him to the swing set where you'd push one another until it was time to go back inside. Lee Chan was your first friend, and you were glad to have met him.

-

"Okay!"

Eleven years later and you found yourself as a second year in high school. You were at a party, a part of a circle that was playing truth or dare. It was something Chan pulled you into, and you weren't complaining. You were having a great time.

Years after meeting Chan, he was able to pull you out of your shy state and now you could hold a conversation with just about anyone. You made friends rather easily, and it was nice to have some shared friends with your best friend.

"Changbin." Chaeyoung called out, pointing over at the aspiring musician. "Truth or dare."

He thought for a moment. "Truth."

"Lame!" Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. "Okay, if you had to date anyone in the circle, who would it be?"

This time, he didn't hesitate. "Jung Wooyoung!"

Wooyung cheered, making the rest of you laugh. They reached across the circle to dap each other before returning to their seats.

Gahyun snickered at them. "Okay, who's next Yeonjun?"

His eyes scanned the circle before they landed on you. "Y/n."

You felt your nerves beginning to act up. So far, Wooyoung had to run down the road naked, Gahyun had to explain the first time she had sex. Either way they’d embarrass you, but the liquor coursing through your body eased your mind. It couldn’t be that bad, right?

“Uh.. truth?”

“No!” Gahyun whined. “That’s so boring. do dare.”

“You chose truth.”

Gahyun scoffed. “Only because I know Wooyoung would’ve made me run outside naked.”

“That’s fair.” You shrugged. Your eyes glanced at Chan. He nodded encouragingly. “Fine. Dare.”

Changbin gave you a smirk and you instantly regretted your decision. There was no backing out of it now. “I dare you to kiss Yeonjun.”

Your wide eyes snapped over to Yeonjun, who was staring over at Changbin with a confused look on his face. You felt Chan stiffen from beside you, probably because he knew you hadn’t had your first kiss yet.

“Uh..” You stood up, your eyes on the ground. “If he’s cool with it I guess.”

It wasn’t a terrible dare. She could’ve gotten a worse one, but she didn’t mind this one a bit.

Yeonjun stood up too. The two of you met in the middle of the circle. “Are you cool with this?”

“It’s just a kiss.” You shrugged once more, trying to play it off as no big deal. However, you were freaking out on the inside. Yeonjun was definitely attractive, and he was wanted by most girls in school. You were one of those girls. You dreamt of dating him. You’ve dreamt of kissing him, but it was really about to happen.

Yeonjun placed his fingers on your chin, lifting your head so you’d look at him. “You sure?”

It was almost as if he knew about this being your first kiss, but there was no way he could. You only told Chan about it, and Chan would never spill your deepest darkest secrets to anyone. Yeonjun was just being a gentlemen.

You nodded, and the two of you met in the middle to kiss one another. His free arm snuck around your waist to pull you closer as the cheers filled your ears. You wondered if he could feel your heart trying to beat out of your chest.

Chan watched silently while the others cheered for the two of you. He couldn’t explain it, but seeing you so close to someone else made his chest tighten. He didn’t like the way Yeonjun was holding you flush against him while your lips danced together.

Why was he suddenly feeling these things? You were his best friend. He should be happy that you were getting to experience your first kiss. But here he was, fighting the urge to pull the two of you apart and take you home.

What seemed like an eternity later, the two of you pulls apart.m, both a blushing mess. You stepped back over to sit beside him, covering your face in his arm. Chan wasn’t aware of his feelings at the time, but he was sure something was going on with him.

-

“I can’t believe him!” You exclaimed, throwing your phone across the room. Chan’s eyes widened as you threw yourself into him. Your arms went around his waist as you cried into his chest. The only thing he could do was hold you, rubbing your back in a comforting manner.

“What happened?”

You had just gotten to his apartment in a rage. He barely had time to read the break up text from Juyeon. You two had been dating for around two years now, and Chan thought things were going good between you and him. Turns out he may have been wrong.

"Two years!' You scoffed. "He waited two years to tell me he wasn't ready for commitment. It's not like I was expecting him to get down on one knee, but the asshole could at least keep his dick in his pants."

This caught Chan's attention. "He cheated on you?"

"With Hana!"

"Why would he?"

You loosened your hold around his waist, sitting up sightly to stare at him in the eyes. "He thought I was sleeping with you."

"W-" Chan sputtered out. "Why the fuck would he think that?"

You gave him a look, and he quickly understood. It wouldn't be the first time a guy dumbed you because they thought you were a little too friendly with Chan. You didn't care, because he was all you needed in the end. He came before any other guy out there.

"I'm sorry."

He wouldn’t lie to himself. Part of him was relieved he broke up with you. He wished it would’ve been under better circumstances, but he never liked Juyeon. He was a well known player around campus. He wasn’t good for you.

Chan was well aware of his feelings for you, and he tried to stop them. There was just no denying them anymore. Not when you held him in such a way.

You looked at him and blinked. "Why are you sorry? He's the one that cheated on me."

"And he's an idiot for doing so." Chan brought you back in for another hug. He enjoyed the embrace while he could, because he knew he wouldn't get the chance for much longer.

He wanted to tell you how he felt, but every time he got the courage to some guy asked you out, and you being too kind to ignore them you always said yes.

You were beginning to think you were looking for the wrong guy. At this point, you weren't going to find anyone who wasn't threatened by Chan. The way you were always attached to his side whenever you went out with him, or the way you weren't afraid to sleep beside him drew them away.

If only they knew about the way your heart raced when he pulled you closer at night, or the way he left you breathless by doing the simple things like bringing you flowers on a bad day. It reminded you of a conversation Seoho and you had a while back.

"It's like you're dating Chan and not your actual boyfriend."

You spared a glance in your coworkers direction. He was too busy making an iced latte to see your confused face. "How so?"

"Well for one, Chan's the one that always walks you home." He started.

"It's on his way from his night class."

Seoho gance you a look that called you stupid. "And his apartment is a good twenty minute walk from yours. Besides, walking the girl home is supposed to be the boyfriends job."

"Is that your only argument?" You challenged. Seoho was always ready to talk about how he liked Chan more than Juyeon, and you always listened to what he had to say. It was quite amusing.

"He brings you flowers on a bad day."

"His mom owns a flower shop."

"He's always worried about your well being."

"He's my friend? Shouldn't he?"

"No I mean he's worried worried. Like that time he found out you hadn't eaten and he walked all the way across town to get you food. When was the last time Juyeon did that?"

You sighed, knowing he was right. "Never."

"I'm not telling you that you should dump Juyeon, but you seriously need to stop and take a look around you. You have something good, and it could be better if only you paid attention to it."

"I think you're thinking into it too much."

"You know what I think? I think you do like Chan in that sense. I think you're too scared to try anything with him because you don't want to lose the good friendship you have going on."

No. absolutely not.

"That's why you always have a boyfriend to distract you from your feelings for him. You know Chan's always going to be there for you, that's why you're not worried about the fact that Juyeon is out at a club right now instead of picking you up from work. But he'll always be here."

The door dinged, and Seoho motioned towards it with his head. Chan walked in the cafe, giving the two of you a bright smile.

Oh god.

Seoho's words were making more and more sense as the days passed by. You couldn't believe you tried to push these feelings away, especially if he might feel the same as you.

You could vividly remember when these feelings started, but you were with Juyeon so you would've felt bad about doing anything about it. Now you'd just have to wait and see if they're still there after a few months of being single. Not for your sake, but for his. You didn't want him to think he was some sort of rebound.

"Y/n?" Chan was waving his hand in front of your face, bringing you out of your might. "You still with me?"

You blinked, turning your eyes back to him. "Yeah. Sorry, I kinda dosed off."

"You want to order some food and watch some movies?"

Your heart fluttered at the idea of spending the night with him. You nodded and he pulled his phone out to order the food while you scrolled through Netflix to pick a movie.

-

A couple weeks after you finally understood your feelings for your best friend, you could slowly feel yourself acting different around him. You started worrying more about your appearance around him, and you tried to be more feminine. It didn’t take him long to notice.

A knock on your door pulled you from the marathon of Hello My Twenties. You got off the couch and opened the door, revealing a disheveled looking Chan.

"Are you alright?" He asked, walking into your apartment.

You followed him back into the living area with a confused look on your face. "Yeah, why?"

"You're acting different." He claimed. He turned to face you, his worried eyes boring into yours. "Is your break up with Juyeon affecting you this badly?"

"What? No." You shook your head in disagreement. "It's not that. I'm just confused about things right now."

"You couldn't at least text me to let me know you were okay? I've been worried about you?" Running his hand through his dark hair, he let out a relieved sigh.

You furrowed your eyebrows at his words. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" He asked, stuttering slightly. "I always worry about you're my.."

He trailed off, unsure if he should actually tell you how he feels or not.

"You're what?" You urged. He stayed silent, making you purse your lips. “Is this why everything thinks you’re my boyfriend?”

He finally lifted his eyes to look at you. "What do you mean?"

"Seoho, Mingyu, Jihyo… think we're dating." You told him. You could feel your heart picking up in speed as you took a step closer to him. “Everywhere we go, people think we’re a couple. All my friends think you have feelings for me."

Chan took a deep breath. It was now or never. "And if I say that I do?"

You swore your heart stopped for a second. Your eyes widened, not expecting him to say that. He actually felt the same way as you? What kind of rom-com were you living?

"I mean, it's obvious. That's why all your boyfriends ended things, right? They knew I have feelings for you, and they knew I could treat you better."

You smiled at him, and his hopes of you feeling the same were high. "Why haven't you said anything before now?"

He shrugged. He put his hands in his pockets. "I haven't found the right timing."

"Channie." You mumbled before closing the gap between you. You grabbed his hand first before you pulled him close to you. Standing on your tip toes, you placed you lips against his in a sweet kiss. Almost instantly, he reciprocated and placed his hands around your waist to pull you flush against him. Your hands were on the back of his neck, pulling him down as much as you could to deepen the kiss.

Kissing Chan wasn’t like kissing your other boyfriends. You could feel the passion and love he felt for you, and you wondered why you had waited so long to accept these feelings.

You two broke apart to breathe. He placed his forehead against yours, rubbing your noses together. "So?"

"So what?"

"Do you feel the same?"

You scoffed. "You think I would've kissed you if I didn't?"

"I wanna hear it, love."

The pet name mixed with his breath fanning your face sent a shiver down your spine. "I really, really like you Channie. More than I should."