#chali

One thing she hasn’t entirely fixed, though, is how to get that AI that runs around the human wings- Church, they call him- to be able to beam into their side. She’d be wary, but she’s grown to like him. She supposes not all artificial intelligence are like the Geth, and the humans love him as if he was one of them, anyhow.

And, she supposes, them spending time together probably contributes to that too. But she swears she’s smart enough to keep it from going too far.

She wanders in to a room she knows Church likes one midmorning during their down-time- some kind of media room, she thinks.

“Church!”

There’s some sort of movie playing, actually- Tali sees something about a human man and woman looking at each other over dinner. It shuts off rapidly, and the AI materializes.

“Heeey, Tali! I, uh, fancy seeing you here. You need somethin’?”

“Well...first I’d like to know what that was.”

“Not important! Uh, what was it you needed?”

“I wanted to see if the holographic projectors would allow you to contact us on the Neema if someone needs us, but now I think I’m going to turn your vid back on.”

“Nope! Don’t need to do that! Really you don’t!”

Tali grabs the remote anyway. Church disappears in a heartbeat, and cuts power to the room.

Tali folds her arms.

“Alright, smart-ass. I’m going to figure out what you get up to in here in your spare time.”

The power is out, so Church, of course, doesn’t respond.

--

Tali tries to investigate Church’s search history, but to not much avail- it’s hard to counter-hack an artificial intelligence, after all. She’s spent much time dealing with the Geth, and it’s much like that, but with the opponent being slightly less skilled.

That doesn’t make it much easier.

“You know I’m going to figure out what you’re doing, right?”

Nothing.

Tali folds her arms. “If you’re going to act like that, I’m going to think what you’ve been doing in your spare time is way more risque than it really is.”

Church finally beams in, and he doesn’t need a face to express an annoyed frown. “It’s not porn, Tali.”

“Then tell me what it is.”

“...nah.” Church shrugs and winks out.

“Bosh’tet!” Tali snaps, before returning to her technology. She should have known better than to fall in with an artificial intelligence, let alone a human one. They’re nothing but trouble, especially this one.

In the wires of the base, Church laughs to himself at his own exit and then zips away to deal with something much less embarrassing.

--

Tali’s skipping through scenes of one of the only films they have downloaded (Chorus has no access to the extranet, and it gets old quite fast.) The human troopers have their human movies, which Tali hasn’t paid much attention to since they’re typically either sexual or annoying.

Church materializes on her shoulder. “What’s that?”

Tali almost jumps. Almost. She’s used to a little rat in the walls. “Did you lose the ability to knock when you became incorporeal, or were you just always so rude?”

“Ah, the UNSC never figured out how to invent silly things like doors, knocking’s for losers. Whatcha watchin?”

“We had four movies on the Neema when we were pulled into orbit,” Tali says, rolling her eye under her helmet. “Blasto saves Christmas, Bloody Mary, and Fleet and Flotilla, and only one of those is not hard to watch repeatedly.”

“Is it Bloody Mary?”

Tali snorts. “Shut up, Church.”

“So what’s that tolerable one about?”

“It’s a romance film.”

“Huh.” Church squints at the screen. “Sounds boring.”

“For a human level VI, you sound like you have no taste.”

“Maybe I do.” Church sounds like he’d be sticking out his tongue- if he had a face.

“Then go away if you find it so boring.”

“Nah, I’m gonna watch.”

“Sounds like someone likes romantic drama, even if he doesn’t want to admit it!”

“Do not, I’m just bored and it’s better than hanging out with Tucker.”

“Tucker wouldn’t know romance if it hit him in the helmet.”

Church snickers. “Yeah, of course not.”

--

It’s late at night when Tali is heading back towards the Neema’s wing from a meeting with the generals. She passes by the media room where she found Church about a week ago. He’s sitting in front of the screens that she’s pretty sure are meant to be for military business only, but everyone stopped paying attention to that a long time ago.

Plastered on the screen is a human movie. Tali doesn’t recognize it off the top of her head- it must be very old. She knows that Church contains knowledge much older than anyone else here- not just about technology and life but about movies.

“Church?”

“Tali! Hey, uh, fancy- fancy seeing you here.” The movie pauses. Tali tilts her head at it.

“What movie is this?”

“Haven’t seen anything from Earth before?”

“Not much. Most extranet media that reaches the flotilla is intergalactic, not ancient.”

“Ugh, don’t make me feel old. Tell that to everyone else so they feel old. In fact, tell Grif, so that he’ll lie on the floor and dissociate for an hour, that’ll be hilarious. Or Simmons. They have the best reactions.”

“Artificial mind time works much differently than organic. You may be old, your friends may not.” Tali shrugs. “I, for one, think you are old. Mentally, at the very least.”

“Alright, thanks for being a dick. You gonna sit down or what?”

“What’s the movie?”

“It’s an old earth movie called Atonement. Romantic drama.”

“I knew it!” Tali exclaims. “That’s what you were watching when I went to test your holographic interface, wasn’t it?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“What is it about?”

“World war two, forbidden love, all that jazz. Wanna watch?”

Tali laughs softly, and sits on one of the empty crates that work as chairs. “Is this what you do since you don’t sleep?”

“Whatever non-trashy movies I can dig up. Okay, maybe a little trashy. People had taste on Chorus once. I think everyone here with taste died.”

“And you’re here to save the masses from badly produced romantic comedies, drama, and the like?”

“You said it, not me.”

“What have I missed?”

“That chick and the main dude are in love, but it’s old-ass times, so her sister ratted them out for fucking, and now they’re both in deep shit.”

“An eloquent summary.”

“I do my best.”

“Alright, show me your earth movie. And after this, you will have to show me more of them. I can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me.”