#yizhan

DD: Has anything changed? Zhou Peng: After having a child, I’m still me. Nothing has changed. Later on, for you, when it comes to starting a family, people will probably be quite concerned about what your state or situation will be like. DD: mn. 😐

Turtles are discussing this conversation from different angles, but the main questions seem to be:

What does Zhou Peng know about/mean by DD's 'life situation'?

What does DD's reaction mean?

Why was this exchange included in the show?

Question 1 - DD's 'situation'

People are speculating about what he he is referring to as DD's 'situation', and what he may or may not know about DD's relationship. Is he talking about the challenges for DD of being a parent as a famous person, or is he referring to the struggle of being a high profile queer parent in China?

As always, it's impossible to know what he meant, but I feel it's unlikely he's speaking with no knowledge of DD's situation.

It's unlikely that DD would spend any significant amount of time with a group of people without them knowing his relationship status. It would be difficult to hide when spending time in such close quarters, especially while having to report back regularly to his partner about what's going on.

It's clear from the recent LRLG (and LRLG, while unverified, is widely believed by turtles to be real) that GG wants regular updates, particularly if something happens while he's away.

This is very normal between married people. It's natural to keep your partner updated. Even without LRLG, we know enough from the BTS that GG and DD are very attached to each other. When DD was away from set for a few days GG would whine and whine.

If we believe they're really in a relationship (and not all turtles do, which is fine), we have to accept that GG and DD would definitely need to stay in close contact during trips like this. Especially when DD is engaging in dangerous activity like rock climbing.

It's inevitable that he would check in with GG regularly to fill him in on what's been going on. It's inevitable that he would be pressed/grilled by GG at times, about what's happening when DD looks rough/exhausted, or is injured or had a setback, or if plans/routes change, etc. We know GG and DD look out for each other.

So I think it's unlikely that his ETU crew wouldn't know about GG. In fact, it's likely that personal things like this - and really, anything that could potentially impact his career - would be discussed prior to leaving, and covered by an NDA.

So, regardless of what Zhou Peng meant by that statement, I think it would likely have been informed by a fuller understanding of DD's 'situation' than is openly discussed here.

Question 2 - DD's reaction

People are reading DD's reaction in various ways. Some interpret him as being sad, while others just see him as tight-lipped and wary. Others are eating this as candy (based on the fact that he didn't shut it down and say that he's not in a relationship right now). Most read his expression as zipping his lips because he does not want to lie.

It's impossible to know what DD is thinking as he flattens his mouth and stays silent. He could be feeling a lot of different things, or he could have mixed feelings.

There are many different angles on this topic that could be flashing through his mind. His career, his relationship, his queerness, societal or familial expectations, what he's seen from friends or colleagues who've had kids, any discussions he's had with people close to him, any logistics he might have already explored for having a family, what he might want his family to look like, what he might want to teach his kids, whether he'll be a good parent...

He could also simply not want to dig too deep into the topic with Zhou Peng because he doesn't want to invite speculation or heterosexual relationship rumors.

Of course, as turtles we're going to inevitably have CPN and think about it from the angle of his relationship with GG.

A simple turtle perspective on this is that - while it's a topic that matters to him - he doesn't want to lie and claim to be single or to have not thought about it yet. He wants to honor his relationship with GG and any plans that they've made or discussions they've had about this topic, by not saying anything that might appear to deny anything about all of that.

There might also be a bit of superstition (or vicarious GG superstition) and not wanting to deny anything about the future existence of a family he wants to one day have.

But for my part, I think he simply isn't at liberty to openly discuss this topic when he's being filmed, so doesn't. It's really that simple.

Question 3 - why include this?

DD doesn't discuss things like this very often, and is a very private person - more so than ever before, really. (And good for him!) So why include a discussion that's so personal, and not directly related to climbing or to his career? Why include a discussion that puts DD on the spot a bit, and that he can't fully open up about?

Well, the series isn't over yet. It's possible we'll get more on this topic, and in fact a lot of turtles are wondering if the issue will be discussed further in the next episode.

Regardless, a lot of people are wondering why DD approved the inclusion of this if it is a sticky conversation. Some feel that it has been included because the topic matters so much to him. Others seem to think that DD wants people to speculate about him and GG, that he wants people to see his reticence and realize there's more to his private life than he openly shares.

I think that the motive is totally unknowable, although I understand the curiosity from turtles on this. There are other possible reasons than have been widely discussed by turtles (who after all, are focused on GGDD).

We see the show's title, "Exploring the Unknown" and the meaning seems obvious. It's about DD going out into unknown territory, exploring and adventuring. But I think it has the deeper meaning of also exploring DD himself. Both from DD's perspective of digging into himself and seeing what he's made of, and from the viewer's perspective of getting to see more of him - his thoughts, feelings, character - than we've ever seen before.

Whether they set out to name it that way for that reason, I think the exploration has taken on that broader meaning, at least for me.

So of course these types of topics are going to come up. Big life topics like career, ambition, personal growth, self-actualization - and parenthood.

Family is such a central topic - particularly in Asia, where family values are very strong IMHO - that it would feel weird if it were never once discussed in a show that centers so personally around DD.

We know family matters a lot to DD, and he has said in the past that he wants kids. I don't think there's a good reason why this topic would be avoided, or would end up on the cutting room floor.

Will GG and DD have kids?

I suspect they will one day, if circumstances allow. They both seem to like kids, and DD has said in the past that he wants kids.

This conversation can be frustrating for me sometimes, because a lot of turtles act like it's impossible for GG and DD to have kids, and therefore treat any discussion of them having kids as tragic and heartbreaking, or as inevitably leading to them breaking up and marrying women.

As far as I'm concerned the discussion is not 'tragic and heartbreaking', and DD is not about to burst into tears. It's just a private topic that he can't speak openly about. Silence is not automatically grief, it's just silence.

And there's a bit of... I won't call it homophobia necessarily, but ignorance of gay lives at play here. Gay men don't need to marry women if they want to have children - not even in China. They also don't need to spend their lives in hopeless yearning. There are options available.

I covered this topic fairly thoroughly a while back, you can find that post here.

Gay men in China are having children through surrogacy (which GG and DD can definitely afford), so while having children would be challenging, it's not something that's off the table for them.