#ch.14

    Enlightening, as well. Seeing Hinata again - with his child - has only renewed his fears and worries. And as the days have gone by, as his son changes and grows his heart feels heavy and worn. This small child, his child, is to be a vessel in the future. Knowing what it entails… he can’t bear it. Not with his son on his chest, breathing peacefully and grabbing at his clothes in his sleep.

    Not now, not ever. Thoughts of his father fill his mind and it makes him want to take the man and assure him that he did nothing wrong. He did what he had to. He had no other choice available.

    … and he has to stop thinking. Because then he realizes he also has very little alternatives and he knows he would never be able to forgive himself if Boruto ever had to take on his burden.

    No matter how much his child told him otherwise.

    He tries to come up with ways in which he could spare Boruto of his duties and many of them come down to going Beast Tamer to Beast Tamer and just obliterating each Beast. He could do it. It would destroy his body in the process but…

    And then what it even mattered if he chose to do that when he knows it still wouldn’t solve all of his problems.

    Maybe the Uchiha didn’t have it so wrong after all. 

    He scoffs, and Boruto makes a tiny noise that makes Naruto fall in love with the child all over again. He has to go back soon.

    Sooner than later, at least. His father is supposed to let him know when his presence is imperative, but he knows only one mistake can put Hinata and Boruto’s life in danger.

    And at this point their lives are more important than his.

    Sai comes in the room silent as a shadow, he lowers a tray full of food, then steals a gaze at his lord, laying next to the lady and with the young lord on his chest. Aside from Lord Naruto’s blue eyes staring back, no one else is awake in the room. He brings his hand to his clothes, brings a letter out of it and lays it on the ground. 

    He leaves as silent as he entered and Naruto can already feel his stomach twisting.

•····························•····························•

She feels the calmest she has ever felt in her life.

    And she knows it’s totally incomprehensible, their lives are all on the line, but what does that matter when Naruto is lovingly dragging his fingers down Boruto’s belly, after the child has been fed and changed and bathed?

Her body slowly heals itself and Naruto has been nothing short of perfect. 

If only the situation were different… if only they could enjoy this time with their child without the threat of an enemy lurking nearby.

Naruto locks eyes with her and she smiles. This has been a scary realization. A look at her husband, a look at her child, and she can forget about everything. For a short period of time, sure, but still.

“You feeling better?” Naruto has been so sweet, so loving, his touch has been delicate and yearning and everything she needs. 

“Yes,” she still feels somewhat weak, but nothing like the exhaustion the birth of her boy made her feel. Her pelvis hurts and she still feels stings of pains when she moves but she can move and that’s all she lets herself think about. 

Naruto stares at Boruto, he has done so a lot. As if he’s entranced by the child. 

“He’s perfect,” he whispers, and it brings a smile to Hinata. 

“He i-is.”

Naruto plays with Boruto’s hand, his little fingers between his father’s. “So perfect,” he continues. He lays there, next to his son, his head pressed beside his tiny body. “Did you read the letter?”

She nods. The food is half eaten and she munches on another piece of bread, the letter Sai brought open and laid on her lap. They knew they wouldn’t have that much time with each other. In fact, Hinata’s surprised by how much time with Naruto she’s gotten. 

“I- We k-knew about this.”

Naruto steals a glance at her then scoffs. His chest rises and Boruto moves with him. “I don’t want to go,” he whines, and this sounds so much like the time with the Beast Tamers’ meeting that Hinata can actually smile back with unabashed glee at him. “Can we just have like a year of peace?” he continues, “shit, I’ll take half a year.”

And they don’t have as much time, and maybe they’ll only get less than two weeks together, but it’s enough. At this point in time, this is enough.

“You’ll have to move soon after I go back.”

    And she’ll be ready. She gives him a confident nod, “We’ll be all right,” she says. Slow, low, like how she reads to Boruto, like she has started to talk with Naruto. Where she feels safe. 

    Naruto pats Boruto, every movement careful, “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you more-”

    “Don’t.” He doesn’t look back at her, “d-don’t say that. You did your b-best.”

    But it could have been better. He resents the moments he could have done things different. What did it matter the consequences to his damn body. His stupid body was already almost completely useless, if it meant giving his family a more secure future…

    “Be careful, please.” She speaks to the air. She can’t have his eyes on her, she can’t look him in the eyes and see that he feels different about this, that he’s ready to do things she only sees in nightmares. The moment she sees that in him, she’ll stutter again. 

    “I gotta now,” his voice rising in volume, she can feel a smile appearing on his face, “I am a father,” he teases, “and I have a beautiful wife waiting for me, won’t mess it up.”

    She presses her fingers down, “I m-mean it. Don’t…” she can feel her mouth tightening up, and then she looks at him, his eyes fixated on Boruto. “Don’t put yourself in danger, please.”

    He sits, Boruto groaning in complaint at his movement, but then Naruto brings him close to his chest. His whole arms around the baby, his body crouched around Boruto. “I won’t, I swear.”

    He’s too scared to put his baby through pain.

•····························•····························•

Hinata can walk, can move. Her body is still not in perfect shape, but she will be able to travel long distances without trouble. Sai will go with her, so will Sakura. Everything has gone great. Nobody knows his son has been born, nobody knows they’re here. 

    He still can’t find the strength to leave.

    He has been summoned now, the more he’s away, the more risk they are at of being found out. And he can’t have that, or else this whole thing goes down the rain. 

    He still-

    Boruto fuzzes and he recognizes this one. Hinata’s arms are already stretched out towards him and he stares as she slips out of her robe, bringing her chest out for Boruto to suckle.

    It’s the funniest thing to see Boruto go completely enthralled by his mother’s chest. His little hands clasping around, grabbing nothing most of the time. Naruto can understand. He, too, is enthralled by Hinata’s-

    Her gaze brings him out of his trance, “Yes?” 

    She smiles at him and her eyes crinkle. “I’ll miss you.”

    Naruto pouts. She has now gotten into speaking low and slow to stop her stutter and it only makes Naruto’s groin warm up immediately. She knows and she finds it absolutely hilarious. “I’ll miss you more and no,” he brings a finger up, the moment she opens her mouth to reply, “I don’t think you’ll miss me more than I do, missy, don’t even try.”

    She bites down her laugh and Naruto commits to memory this image. 

    It will help him down the road. He knows.

    He leaves only after getting enough of having Boruto in his arms -his baby smell ingrained on his brain-, and after kissing Hinata with no decorum inside their room. Sai is the only one who accompanies him part of the way, his stoic presence reassuring Naruto as he leaves. Their chakra signatures grow dimmer by the second. Hinata and Boruto’s shine in the distance, Naruto tries his hardest to keep his own chakra aware of them, but even theirs disappears after a while. No matter how much he tries, no matter how thin he lays his chakra, he can’t feel them. 

    And although he knew he would feel anxious. This- this is just unbearable. 

•····························•····························•

Nothing is amiss. An aburame sends his bugs to catch this new presence and the moment his chakra signature is recognized and an Inuzuka comes from the shadows. 

    “My lord!” 

    Naruto doesn’t share any info, he just asks. A full report, and neither the Inuzuka nor the Aburame that finds them shortly after falter at sharing their respective news. Chakra signatures can’t be easily faked and thankfully the Aburame and Inuzuka are masters at recognizing it. 

    Reason why Naruto had to carefully monitor his absence. Any chance of someone poking at his substitute’s chakra signature and they would have been in trouble.

His guards disappear halfway through and shortly after his father’s blonde hair comes into view. Naruto doesn’t really think about it.

Hadn’t really thought he would need some sort of consolation of any type. But the moment he sees his father all the thoughts that had filled his mind regarding Boruto and his future -his son and his future as a vessel for the Nine-Tails- come rushing down and he feels himself grow weak at the knees. 

He crashes into his father, and he has to grab at his father’s shoulder not to fall down to the ground. He feels himself out of air and the moment he breathes in he realizes he will, for sure, freak out.

He can’t do this.

He can fight a fight where his whole family and their futures are on the line. He can’t fight a fight where even if he wins his son’s life will suck ass, gods, he suffered so much with this fucking beast. “Dad,” he groans and his father brings him into his arms.

And he didn’t know he would do this. He didn’t know he would need this. But his tears fall and fall and he can’t bring his breathing back into control. 

Hinata is out there, alone, with his fucking son, alone, without him, far away and-

If he could just destroy everything. Everything. He would in a heartbeat.

Everything but his family. 

“Dad.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

But it’s not. It hasn’t been in a long ass time, and it won’t be in the future. Because his life is fucked.

But his son is out there. Hinata is out there. And they ought to have a chance, with him, without him, whatever, he will give them that.

And if he has to kill a bunch of people for that to happen.