im lookin, im aiming, im tryin
no matter the hours i put in
it just doesn’t seem worth it
im tired, im injured, im sore
still, at the end of the game
im not the End Game.
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im lookin, im aiming, im tryin
no matter the hours i put in
it just doesn’t seem worth it
im tired, im injured, im sore
still, at the end of the game
im not the End Game.

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your presence is so comforting,
i want to bury my head in your chest
for your heart beat to drown out the noise in my head
and i will finally be at peace again.
with my guilt, this shame, and all the other things that make me feel underserving
and that it is okay, to be this weird part of me.
you are the sweetest of life circle me, firefly you lit my dark nights please, please don’t dim your light
calm me in this torrential storm from you, this radiating warmth cover me, hug me, hold me
you are the reason i can make peace, with this hectic city beneath our feet this silence that we share, pulls me closer, closer, and closer to you. this tension from this attraction makes me want to pour my heart out to you. and more more, and more. I want more of you.
i want to be near you I want to want you trace the veins down your arm run my fingers through yours and know how it is to be close to you freely
without barriers ignore weird stares cause you are all i see kicking everything out of focus and put the idea of “us” in perspective and i know that you know it too.
colin
you are the reason why
and i love you
i often wonder how it feels like to run my fingers through your hair to just stare mindlessly into your eyes to caress those lips that speaks the lyrics of my favourite songs
i love how soft and gentle you are, at least you are when i hear you speak, and what i imagine you to be.
you make me feel like i am lost all the time and i am just waiting for your eyes to find me in this mess that is my thoughts please, do.

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Thousands of stars, but the one that has been guiding me through life died tonight.
my lowest of low I have never felt so ugly inside and out
my thoughts are wandering going to places i have never even been and places i certainly don’t want to go
Bright eyed, charms that i really can’t resist. how can I stop myself from going back to you.
i know you see me, but as one of the many thousands of stars, that even if i dimmed tonight, you wouldn’t realise you wouldn’t know you wouldn’t care
When you look at me, and you don't see me
In tonight's dream,
I am finally the female lead
my feelings are peaking
And I can no longer endure
My final curtain call
in this drama that I wish I have never starred in.
But when I wake up,
I know nothing will change.
Just more pain and agony,
As I still long and yearn for you to finally see me for who i really am
i want to tell everyone that i am okay, because i am tired of explaining things and for people to tell me that they understand and pass judgement on the situation i am in and then move on to tell me a solution that they think it is suitable for me, except that it is not.
yet again, i still want people to talk to me. so i am going to say i am okay.