Faith Restored [a post 3x04 ficlet]
When Kara calls her best friend, Lena answers on the second ring.
"Kara?" Lena's voice is sleepy, and only then does Kara realize the hour. It's late, far later than she realized. Her thoughts are chaotic, embroiled by her chat with Coville, and her body is exhausted, despite her time under the yellow sun lamps. "Is everything all right?"
Any answer Kara can offer will give her away, she knows. She chooses to dodge it entirely. "Make-up girls night?"
Lena doesn't hesitate, so maybe the dodge gives her away too. "Is pajamas okay?" she asks through a yawn.
Fifteen minutes later Lena arrives and wraps Kara in the warmest, firmest hug she could ever ask for.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Kara didn't call Lena with the intent to share anything about Coville or the cult, but it comes spilling out of her anyway. Words are supposed to be her strength, but telling this story is disjointed and stilted as she dodges pronouns and does her best not to give her secret away.
Lena listens to it all, letting Kara take her time to maneuver through all the information, and finish with the doubts that had been spinning in her mind since she met Coville.
"I mean, what if he's right?" she asks finally. "What if Supergirl is different from who she was when she saved that plane?"
They've eschewed the wine of girls night due to the hour, and are each nursing a glass of water instead. Lena, halfway through a sip, blinks at Kara. "So what if she is?"
"Well, first of all, how much credence can you give a man who was saved by Supergirl and promptly used the experience to prop himself as a religious leader? Whatever he thinks he sees is probably bullshit, but even if he happened to guess some sort of truth, who would possibly expect her to be the same person?"
Kara avoids Lena's insightful glance by staring into her glass. "What do you mean?"
"When Supergirl was branded by Cat Grant, she was very much still a girl. Ages aside, she was still in the process of finding herself, coming into her own power and identity. And now, two years later, she knows what it actually means to be a hero, to make hard choices."
Lena’s words hammer against Kara’s chest, somehow knocking on all the doubts that have been niggling at her since meeting Coville as Kara Danvers. "And that's not a bad thing?" she asks.
"Not for us. For her, I'm sure it's been a difficult journey, but she's still doing what she set out to do. The reasons for doing it might have changed, but that's none of our business."
Kara tilts her head, a wry smile on her lips. "You have a lot of faith in her."
Lena gives a little shrug, lips lifting in a small smile. "Maybe faith isn't the right word tonight, given the subject, but yes, I trust her. I like to think it's mutual."
Clenching her jaw, Kara struggles to say nothing. Because, Rao, yes the feeling is mutual. Kara trusts Lena with all her heart.
"Look," Lena continues, reaching over to set her glass on the coffee table. "I know better than anyone the way being saved by Supergirl can make it feel that your life has intrinsic value. And maybe I could appreciate a group that made it their life mission to pay it forward in the spirit of Supergirl, through philanthropy, charity, community service, what have you... but instead they perverted her faith into something they could control to suit their own purposes. Coville was only worried about upping his follower count, and was a fucking idiot in the process."
"By his logic, anyone saved by Supergirl was 'chosen'?"
Lena rolled her eyes. "Then by that criteria everyone in the city was ‘chosen’ when she thwarted the Daxamite invasion, and he would’ve murdered hundreds of those ‘specially chosen’ at the arena. His logic is flawed, but again, what would you expect?"
Oh... Kara hadn't thought of it that way.
"The bottom line is, an asshole had a midlife crisis and came out the other side of it worshipping a young woman, but instead of supplicating himself in her honor, he decided she needed to be rescued-- by him." Lena's eyebrow arches in derision. "He's a garden-variety misogynist exploiting the hope and goodwill imparted by Supergirl's presence in the city. Anything he said is garbage and Supergirl should treat it as such."
Lena sounds so sure, so certain, that Kara can feel her doubts melting away. She relaxes bonelessly against the couch cushions, relief spreading over her. Lena studies her, and when she speaks next, her voice is so, so gentle.
"Thanks for calling me tonight."
Kara lifts her head to regard Lena strangely. "I woke you up!"
"Yes, and I'm glad you did!" Lena laughs. "I enjoyed girls' night, but I really like it when it's just us."
She smiles like she says that sort of thing all the time, but the blush in her cheeks and the little flip in Kara's stomach proves otherwise.
"Me too," Kara confesses. She reaches out and takes Lena's hand. "I've missed this."
Lena's eyes widen, just a fraction. Then her smile edges wider too, and Kara's heart starts to pound.
"You can call me anytime," Lena promises. "I know you and Supergirl are friends, and it can be hard to see a friend struggling and feel like you can't do anything to help."
Kara meets her eye sheepishly, but there's no judgement in Lena's gaze. Just warmth and understanding.
"But as hard as it is to watch," Lena continues, "sometimes time is the only way to get through it. Supergirl has the weight of two worlds on her shoulders... I think she's more than earned the right to drift a while, if that's what she needs."
Kara squeezes Lena's hand. She can't thank her, not properly. Not as Supergirl, when it's Supergirl finding solace in her words. So instead they sit, until deep night falls and Lena almost dozes against the cushions. Kara shakes their hands to rouse her.
Later that night, just as Kara starts to drift off to sleep, a prayer to Rao silent on her lips, she hears Lena step into her bedroom. Kara flips the light back on to find Lena standing uncomfortably inside the doorway, arms wrapped tightly around herself.
“Lena?” Squinting her eyes exaggeratedly, Kara fumbles to shove her glasses back on her face. “What's wrong?”
“You said he was reciting dogma.”
“The cult leader, Coville. You said he was reciting Kryptonian dogma, and that he could manipulate the betahedron using the original interface.”
Kara nods, sitting upright. “Yeah. Supergirl said he had a repository of information that landed with the betahedron.”
Lena's gaze darkens ominously. “It took Lex five years to crack their language. Five. But somehow a run-of-the-mill attorney from National City masters it in less than two?”
Kara eyes her. “What are you thinking?”
“That he had help, and that we need to know where from. And you said Coville was disbarred and lost almost everything in a nasty divorce settlement… how was he able to purchase an artifact like the betahedron?”
Kara blinked. Neither she nor Alex nor J'onn had considered the implications of that. “I'll look into it tomorrow.”
Lena nods decisively. “Come see me first thing before you do anything. I want you working with Olsen on this. He's teamed with Clark Kent on several investigative pieces back in Metropolis. His experience will be invaluable.”
“And Coville doesn't get any more ink. He's not the news anymore and I'm not going to let CatCo be his soapbox. Our story now is whoever is backing him.”
Lena pauses when she notices the grin that’s grown on Kara's face. “What?”
“Nothing,” Kara assured her. “It's just that for a second there you sounded like Cat Grant.”
At that, Lena's smile returns in the form of a saucy smirk. “Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Miss Danvers."
She saunters out of the room, returning to her makeshift bed on the couch. Within minutes, she’s asleep. Kara listens to her heart beat, and lets the warmth of her compassion wash over her. It's a warmth that feels at home in her heart when she softly whispers the last of Rao's prayer, and almost without thought, she offers another thanks.
