#ceo dr

✉ Your email clears itself overnight. No digital clutter, no mystery CCs and no chain of emails that have zero to do with you.

✉ Meetings never overlap. Every meeting has a clear agenda, a hard stop, and ends early most if not all the time.

✉ Focus time is respected. You're not expected to brainstorm, answer emails, run reports, and fix the printer at the same time.

✉ Your mic, webcam, Wi-Fi, and lighting always cooperate. You’ve never once had to say, “can you hear me now?” unless of course you don't want to be in the meeting, and are faking connectivity issues(you do you)

✉ When you’re off the clock, you’re off the clock. Emails, DMs, and pings dissolve like sugar in hot tea.

✉ You never get a “need this by EOD” email at 4:45 PM on a Friday. Those emails are erased by a Scrub Daddy and a spritz of Dawn Powerwash before they're even typed.

✉ Your home office is consistently peaceful. No background symphony of barking dogs, stomping neighbors, or leaf blowers during calls. A cuddly cat might appear with healing purrs when you need it.

✉ Even in your oldest hoodie, you somehow look sharp and engaged on Zoom. No ring light required.

✉ Clients honor your contract and respect your time. No ghosting and no last minute “quick favors.”

✉ Your invoices get paid on time. No chasing, no excuses, no “circling back with finance.”

✉ Consultants and freelancers have health coverage, PTO, and retirement plans that make full-time employees jealous.

✉ No one ever utters “that meeting could have been an email” because it was an email. People actually respect each other's time.

✉ You always have the choice to work from home or in-office, no one side-eyes you either way. Your employer is always willing to provide whatever accommodations you may require.

✉ In-office? There’s fresh food, quality coffee, ergonomic chairs, and zero passive-aggressive fridge notes.

✉ Your health insurance is comprehensive, extends to your family, and doesn’t require deciphering a PDF from 2007.

✉ Vacation time, paid leaves, maternity, paternity, every other leaves you can think off is generous and actually encouraged.

✉ Retirement plans beat inflation and give you peace of mind that lasts long after your last paycheck.

✉ Your manager advocates for you, gives clear feedback, and doesn’t believe in micromanaging, 11 PM emails or going on tangents about 'back in my day' that literally nobody asked for.

✉ Your teammates are competent, kind, and actually enjoyable to work with. No weird Slack drama and NO office politics.

✉ You have peaceful mealtimes like a functional adult. No interruptions and NO twitching every time you hear a buzz that wasn't even from your phone..

more

Just scripted the opposite of whatever BS I used to face at my old jobs. Look how bitter I sound, is it me or is it the capitalism🥲