oh I desperately want to know more of your thoughts about iCarly šš
alright, ask and you shall receive! letās get into it.
so, first, a correction to my last post. in it, I said that we donāt know when Spencer dated Audrey. but in fact, we do!
I checked my notes again, and in s04e05 (iDo), Carly and the gang try to convince a woman to marry her fiance instead of chasing after Spencer (god, what a weird show), and while listing Spencerās negative qualities, Carly says, "Oh! And he hasn't had a steady girlfriend since high school!"
Spencer is 29 years old here. heās been going on dates regularly throughout the show, and yet he hasnāt had a serious girlfriend since he dated Audrey in high school.
Iām not saying that this is a bad thing - you donāt need a relationship to be happy or to have a good life - but Spencerās given up the majority (if not all) of his adult life to take care of Carly, and a relationship is obviously something that he wants.
but Iām not here to talk about Spencer being sad at the lack of a girlfriend - no, Iām here to talk about what Spencer says right after Carly makes the above comment. and what he says is, āWell, not a steady girlfriend per se...ā
do you see what Iām getting at here?
Spencer isnāt straight. thatās what Iām getting at.
now, Iām not saying that Spencer is canonically queer - this was a nickelodeon show from 2007; thereās no way they would have made it canon. but this show has a hell of a lot of subtext, and I think itās time we break down some of it.
letās go back to season 1.
in s01e05 (iWanna Stay With Spencer), one of Spencerās sculptures malfunctions and almost seriously injures Carly. their granddad shows up and yells at Spencer for his carelessness, and this is where we start to see that underneath his goofy chaos, Spencer really is a responsible adult, and Carlyās safety and happiness is always his biggest priority.
I mention this episode for a lot of reasons, but firstly, holy shit - we actually get confirmation here that Spencer has been taking care of Carly for at least six years already! itās shown that he held onto her inhaler just in case, and Carly says the last time she had an asthma attack, she was 7. Spencerās no newbie at this whole parenting gig - heās been doing it at least since he was 20!
besides that, I think this episode shows an important but subtle change in Spencerās character - now, heās increasingly aware that if he steps out of line, if he makes too many mistakes, Carly will be taken away from him. and he cannot let that happen.
in my opinion, this is where Spencer decides that heās not going to tell Carly about the fact that heās queer.
this would explain some of his awkwardness in 01e24 (iWin a Date). in this episode, Spencer joins an online dating service (because 2007 was a different time, and Tinder wasnāt around yet).
he sits down to record a video for his profile - shirt buttoned all the way up, hair slicked down, looking nervous and vulnerable - and he looks into the camera, introduces himself, and then says, āI enjoy people...ā
that is...maybe the best description anyone could ever give of Spencerās sexuality. I think about this scene all the time.
but what Spencer didnāt know here is that Carly was listening to him. he thought he was alone, and the second that he realized that Carly was there, he froze up and stopped talking. because he didnāt want her to know that heās not straight.
god, it kills me.
I could go on for actual hours about this - about how Spencer must have felt, being solely responsible for his younger sister, wanting her to grow up with love and acceptance, but knowing that there are some things that he just canāt talk about without risking the life heās built for them - but I will not, because I will cry.
instead, letās go back to Audrey.
in the finale, this is how Spencer explains who Audrey is: āThe most important girlfriend Iāve ever had - the only girl Iāve ever really been in love with.ā
you see that wording? look at it. āThe only girl Iāve ever really been in love with.ā just like in iDo, when he said, āWell, not a steady girlfriend...ā
I think those phrases are very telling. so is the part in s02e16 (iDate a Bad Boy) when Carly asks how old Spencer was when he started kissing girls. she could have asked, āHow old were you when you had your first kiss?ā - that would have sounded normal, but no - she said, āHow old were you when you started kissing girls?ā
Spencerās not straight, and Carly knows it, and they can never talk about it.
and itās not that Spencerās trying to be subtle about his personality - heās a confident, quirky guy whoās passionate about art, loves to cook (and is great at it!), and wears weird socks. He doesnāt care what anyone thinks about him rollerblading in the hallway, or saving up tickets to win a stuffed dolphin at the arcade, or doing cosplay - but when Carly walks in on his book club meeting, he gets nervous.
and maybe he was planning on telling Carly - maybe he thought that when she was old enough and there was no threat of their granddad taking her away, he could have that conversation with her.
...and then their dad showed up, and took Carly to Italy.
welp.
