You know this is actually quite exciting for me, to be able to talk to a large group of people across a vast space not knowing if there is really anyone listening or if I am really even speaking because what does it really mean to be doing anything anyways? Ah it’s the closest thing I’ve had to a broadcast in ages.
I must admit I have been rather on edge lately. There have been some things happening in our system that have left me worried, worried for myself, for my family, for my interns. But there is no one that I am more worried about than my Carlos.
Admittedly I’m not good at being patient listeners but I do try and, as he himself once said, scientists are always fine. But that was in Nightvale, this place doesn’t work like Nightvale, so who knows if scientists are always fine here. I miss talking with him, and telling him about what we’re learning in chemistry. I miss being able to say goodnight to him and knowing he would be there in the morning.
It isn’t the same as source of course, but he’s here and I love him. I will always love him, he will always be my Carlos and I will always be his Cecil. We may not be able to hold each other anymore, nor can I hear his oaky voice ramble about science, I can’t run my fingers through his hair, I can’t go to his lab after work just to say hi because I missed him, I can’t go to the Arby’s parking lot and dance with him all night long. But I don’t need all of that, I just need him.
I hope, wherever he is and whatever has happened he is ok.
Goodnight Tumblr, Goodnight
(Cecil Palmer fictive who happens to be dating a Carlos fictive and who also really misses him and please Carlos I just need to know you’re ok that’s it, even just one small message or sign that you’re alright that’s all I need dear)
