12.26.16 

Here we go! Ending the year with so much goals smashed and sights accomplished. Thank you 2016 for treating me so nicely, I hope for many more memories like yours. 

2015 was a harsh one. Although that bright smile was carried throughout the whole thing I had slowly lost something I couldn’t ever imagine Id be so lucky to have. He was Charming, humble. He taught me many many lessons, most importantly how to challenge my self. 

After many similar situations I had scarred and shy’d from crowds, then eventually my closest friends. I started getting comfortable with being on my own. Straight out of high school setting myself up to leave, no clue at all of what I spun through. I had to just go, only for minute, to be alone. I didn’t realize how alone I would be. Moving from an island in the middle of the sea. I had no actual connection with the place at all, so here I had found myself lost. I continued through with out commitment and met a few memorable thoughts; then I met the mistake that prevents me to let anyone in. 

My Family found me when I needed em most. Embarrassed; I wasn’t myself. So I came back, feeling even more alone then ever. Spent time with people I love truly. Smiled. Moved through n through. Lived the lie of bliss. My mind, my own prison. Then there he was. Just sitting there eating on the couch of our living room. 

Instant. Still, yet in motion. And though it was only a second my memory just sits with the image of you and your ever observant, sunburned brown eyes. Who are you? Why are you here? Such a seriously short time we had spent together. “Hi” “Hello” And you’re already who I wish to wake up to every morning… Then you were.  His eyes spoke to me, there was never a need for words. He had shaped my most therapeutic memories. Loving all the ways he surrounded me. The way he would look at me before I fixed myself presentable. How  he’d say “catch you later” after bagging his lunch, like he hadn’t already caught me. How hard he worked after working hard. How the second step gave us eye contact, or the way he shivered as my fingertips traced along his silky bronze collarbone. Still, yet in motion.

The way we drifted allowed me to practice my first challenge. One that I’m proud, as well as torn to make known a little early is accomplished. Of that I’m sure. Few of my own challenges between then n now have allowed me to open up a bit more with others. But its your challenges, some I’m sure your still working on, taught me that its OK to lock some pieces away. Its what makes you, you. Your lessons are the reason I had such a fun year. It allowed me to let go and be free and be happy. Mahalo.