anne michaels, from “skin divers” / richard sandells during kiss-in protest / coy crescent do not frown on a03 / miguel hernández, from “elegy for ramón sijé” / anne de marcken, from "it lasts forever and then it’s over,"

dosed, covered by lowswimmer | arken as songs

god, a super nice message from someone about ccdnf has made me feel so damn inspired to keep at the sequel. it had been coming along steadily, but the writing lacked something, that implicit, charged spark that provided me with the flow, the imagery, the authenticity.. that special thing that makes a piece of writing so real, tangible. it may well have been switching to kenan’s pov, getting used to that new lens, internal world. less clear. it’s certainly different from writing arda, but i suppose that gained clarity as i wrote. plus, the ending was Sad for me too. the boys — the real ones — were indeed apart competing in their respective leagues, and i suppose felt more distant to them too. i planned to write a sequel about the Summer but it didn’t happen, what with my being busy, my own summer distracting me. i guess that’s what it would have been like for the boys too, the bittersweet reality that we become occupied, make promises we can’t really keep, even if we want to. even if we really, really want to. neeeeyse, post-summer, working on it felt.. staggered, a bit forced. really damn frustrating, considering how much i wanted to write it. though, taking the time to think about how i felt writing the first fic, a careful and affectionate remembering, reminding myself of how connected i was to that world then — it has really brought me back. and my Own feelings about the summer i understand i can utilise. currently i feel Pumped up and motived to tackle the sequel but.. sik to the tir, man, so busy right now. work, socials. hopefully will be able to write uninterrupted in a few days time, a bit of solitude should do the trick.