#ccatt

Armitage was looking to the everlasting hyperspace clouds, as if he was paying attention to it for the first time in his life. If Miko wanted to start a conversation - which she certainly didn’t - his intense gaze would've stopped her from doing so. She wondered what he was thinking, looking so serious and focussed on the void ahead.

This time however, she mused, the silence didn’t feel loaded and somehow had turned into something comforting. They had an actual plan and could focus on the upcoming mission. Everything was more or less under control. 

Miko felt like she finally had the time to study her companion. From the seat she was in, she noticed he was frowning deeply, and she could guess by that serious stern look on his face, he was thinking about the current bantha poodo he was in. 

She sat back in the co-pilot 's chair while keeping an eye on his side profile. She knew by now he had done some horrible things - based on her father's reaction - although she didn't know the exact details. 

Thinking back to the way he introduced himself to her with so much flair, his previous position within the military must’ve meant everything to him. The First Order was probably the only life he knew. And she doubted one could become a general by playing along nicely, so he probably has done and sacrificed a lot to get in that seat. 

Still, he betrayed all that. For what?

Her mind wandered back to the time he miraculously woke up beneath her, onboard the Steadfast . She really was convinced he was dead at the time. She could remember the shock she felt, when she unceremoniously had fallen down on his limp body. But the memory was blurred by the storm of emotions and adrenaline she went through that moment. 

Did I really somehow… revive him, like he said? How could that be even frigging possible?  

The girl looked at her hands and slowly turned them around, trying to see if something happened if she tensed the muscles in her fingers. 

Of course, it was to no avail, making her wonder if he was just making things up for some obscure reason. But why would he do that? 

Nothing made sense these past days . The chaos, violence, the unexpected get-away, everything was wearing her down.

She slowly looked back to the ex-general and noticed how his jaw was slightly moving. 

Was he grinding his teeth… again ? 

At this moment, she was absolutely positive this man was full of frustrations and looking at the bags under his bloodshot eyes and his pale skin, the stress was eating him slowly but surely. 

She closed her eyes. If she was not going to stop paying attention to him, she was going to start getting worked up as well, and that wouldn’t help them any further. 

After a short pause, Miko felt relatively at ease again and decided to follow Hux’ gaze, so she started staring at the hyperspace clouds as well. They were somehow enchanting, the slight rotation of the ship making the clouds swirl and giving the space outside a dreamy aura. 

Honestly, right now, this all felt like a bad dream. She had always wanted to leave Utapau Four behind, and she used to fantasise about steering her own ship, drifting through hyperspace, from system to system. Seeing the most beautiful parts of the galaxy. Looking for a place with more purpose to land. 

She once wished for adventure, but now, the sting of hastily having to say goodbye to her father, maybe for good, was reminding her that she wasn't living her dream. This was all too real and absolutely not how she wanted to leave her home behind. 

She felt the urge to cry slowly rising from her chest, but she refused to give in to those feelings, especially around that pompous manipulative asshole. She gulped and kept her head down, trying to find tranquillity once again.

Only a few seconds later, she noticed a small but very irritating noise originating from the left. She looked back at Hux, who was now grinding his teeth so loud she could hear it from her seat and it was not helping her current emotional state.

Kriff.

‘Could you please stop doing that?? It’s not good for both your teeth and my headache’, she said, grumbling, only then realising she was again talking before thinking things through. 

This frigging bastard had almost choked me to death, if it wasn’t for PC , she hastily reminded herself, cold sweat appearing on her backside.

But the next thought that entered her worked up mind, were those glassy eyes again. Almost instantly she felt her cheeks go red, betrayed by her own thoughts, so she swiftly diverted her attention to the other side of the shuttle and gulped. She sincerely hoped he wouldn't turn around and see the blush under the dim light.

Unfortunately, Hux decided to redirect his energy from destroying his teeth to destroying any hope for a normal conversation, and he slowly faced her. 

‘Just who do you think you’re talking to?’ he replied with a low voice, giving her a dangerous look, as if she had done something extremely rude. Her body already involuntarily responded to his words and made her turn her attention back to him, momentarily forgetting the blush and trying to process his rude comment.  

Was this the tone he normally used when a subordinate had messed up pretty bad? she absently considered, trying to find a way to explain that this reply was somehow socially acceptable in Worst Order context. 

But, despite trying to negate the brusqueness in what he just said, she could not get rid of the feeling that he was intimidating her, that was for sure. And, combined with the reason she had been blushing before, he was tearing her apart with these most confusing thoughts.

Right now, under his persistent, piercing gaze, she felt like she couldn’t breathe easily, feeling mixed emotions of anger, inadequacy from her part (and for what? He didn't have anything to expect from her), getting slightly terrified and some other burning feeling from her abdomen. One that matched well with her pink cheeks.

She abruptly closed her mouth and looked away with a defying glance. There was no good verbal response she could come up with, especially since she felt like he turned her into a mess so easily. 

This was a conversation she wouldn’t take any further, because it was going to end in the both of them shouting again, and maybe worse. 

The next few seconds, her discomfort only escalated further into distress. Miko felt like she was walking on thin ice, scared to accidentally provoke him. Not that she was convinced there were any actual triggers, but the thought of his hands around her throat tended to do that to her. So, she decided she didn’t want to stay in the same room with him any more and left the cockpit without a word.

Armitage watched Miko’s back when she retreated from the cockpit. He made notice of her posture, which wasn't reflecting her usual defiance. Unlike their other unfortunate encounters, she looked a bit resigned but mainly confused, most likely too emotionally disturbed to be thinking clearly. Her face looked a bit worked up, too.

Thinking back on what he just said to her, he may have been overreacting due to his train of thoughts. She didn't actually say something offensive, although it was much more straightforward than any other conversation he has had in the past years. 

Taking into account that she already looked off, he hoped she wasn’t going to do anything stupid because of his response.

Given her mood though, he opted not to go after her, and wait in the cockpit a little longer. The atmosphere was already loaded enough and he wasn't looking forward to more energy consuming drama or useless fights. 

He automatically turned his attention back to the hyperspace void in front of him and picked up where his thoughts were left, before her intermission. 

The stress started eating at him again. He wasn’t used to having time for anything, and now he sat there, waiting, counting the hours before he was to be delivered to the enemy, at his own suggestion, no less. 

Was he going to be able to break Ren? How much more did he need to give up so he could remove that idiot, who knocked him from his ambitious trajectory? Is it all going to be worth it and what's going to be left of the First Order in the end? Will there be a chance for him to start over and get in charge again?

There had to be, it was the only life he knew. He had been there, only a little five year old boy, when the Order rose from the ashes of the Empire. So many sacrifices, harsh decisions and risks were taken to become what they were. He personally had pushed himself to the limits, over the limits, sometimes to the brink of insanity, to achieve greatness for the First Order. 

His mind wandered further,  thinking back about the choices he made, the career path he chose and pushed himself forward for.  The way he crawled up to the chain of command.

Yes, corruption was within their ranks. He wasn’t clean of those tactics either, but that’s part of the game. He learned those tricks from his father. 

Armitage grimaced at the thought of the latter, and how he made sure the younger Hux understood his teachings. 

There’s no way one could keep his hands clean in achieving leadership. But at least, he knew how the giant war machine worked, something Ren lacked. They all underestimated him, they didn't understand how far he was willing to go and up till now that had always worked in his advantage. 

The empire had shown that a strong hand was imperative to attain peace, but it was too flawed. And with insane emotionally unstable idiots like Ren at the top, the First Order was risking the same end. Something had to be done.

But, after literally leaking the Emperor's message to the resistance and letting high ranked resistance members escape, will he ever be able to seize command? Maybe he did go too far, this time? 

 He didn’t have many allies left. Phasma perished as did Snoke. Lower officers like Mitaka could prove to be loyal to him, given Ren’s outbursts on the personnel. But in high command, he was losing popularity because of Starkiller and the Fulminatrix.

And then there was that huge factor he hadn’t taken into account properly. 

Pryde. 

He knew of the sick prick and his reserve forces, but none of the acting officers of the First Order out in the outer rim were aware of how Pryde had strengthened their numbers so fast. The so-called allegiant-general had become a powerful and influential player. Suddenly, the tables had turned and both Pryde and Ren almost succeeded in removing him from the board of command.

Then came Palpatine 's message, and it was as if it announced Hux's demise. Pryde convinced his loyal allegiant officers that going after the message would bring them significant strategic advantages, while Ren was not open for reason.  Hux was automatically on the other end of the bargain, and thus enemy number one within the Order's upper ranks. 

How convenient for both. 

He felt his palms grow sticky beneath his leather gloves. He could try to come up with alternative tactics, go over the scenarios over and over again, but he already knew in the back of his mind that there was no better option than the way too risky plan he had picked now.

His jaw felt stiff and was starting to hurt from the constant pressure, the sting bringing him back to the present. He sighed deeply and rubbed his nasal bone.

On second thought, getting into some drama or a fight with Miko suddenly feels much more appealing than drowning in these thoughtlines , he scoffed.