#lemonginger

"I need you, remember?”.

Did I really say that out loud? 

Armitage shivered from disdain, hating himself for sounding so desperate. He wasn’t, and by any means this was not the signal he wanted to give the headstrong girl. Who knows what that overexcited mind of hers was thinking now. If she even begins to think she has power over me and tries to stab me in the back… 

Only now, he started to realise there was some truth behind these poorly chosen words. He was completely dependent on Miko to make his risky plan succeed. He felt vulnerable, having to place his faith in her hands. He was supposed to be guiding her with his tactics, hopefully coercing her into doing the right thing and making sure the mission ended successfully. But right now, with the connection cut off, she was out there all by herself and he felt lost, the lack of control eating away the last piece of trust he harboured for a positive outcome. Stars, he hadn’t been feeling confident enough with the plan and her possible lack of abilities in the first place, and this was the consequence. A new level of distress, right on top of his other concerns.

It was already about half an hour ago, when the direct line with her earpiece commlink had fallen away. She had signed him that she was just about to enter the designated building by then, so no doubt the place was shielding off all type of communication.

That left Hux without any means to know what was going on, and he felt empty and way too nervous to his liking. 

Hux started checking the perimeter sensors now, making sure no one was spotting his shuttle with the naked eye. They could mess with clearance codes, but anyone who took visual confirmation of the shuttle would know that they weren't exactly a cargo vessel. Something that should automatically sound the proximity alarm, but you can never be too certain, he sourly thought, aware of how the stress was eating him and making him do irrelevant things.

He sat down in the cockpit’s seat again and brought his hands together, the fingers locking when he rested his forehead on them. He didn’t know what to think, he wasn’t used to just… waiting. How long was she going to take? Every minute that passed made him wonder if things weren't going to work out as planned, or even worse, she was selling him out. Maybe something happened to her, out there in the streets, and he could be waiting here for nothing.

He tried to think about something else, but the only other thing apart from Miko he could focus on, was his anger and spite towards Ren. 

Ren… Resentment was all that he had left. That, and the knowledge that the unguided projectile with a lightsaber and the other officers had always tried to put him aside. That they were out there, wrecking the First Order. But they underestimated him. He would prove that he has what it takes to lead the Order. They will see.

The proximity alarm bleeped, and he only noticed by now that Miko’s location sensor had become active again. He made a mental note that he shouldn’t dwell too much on Ren and the misery he brought to his life and the Order. The self declared lord of the Dark Side shouldn't be plaguing his mind, now or ever, he wasn't worth the attention. 

He swiftly stood up, ready to check on the girl; he was dying to know what happened and if she in fact obtained the coördinates to the Resistance’s base. 

Actually, that feisty girl has proven to be an adequate distraction from these dark thoughts, he realised once again while watching the sensors bleep and pressing the command to lower the ramp. Seems like he should appreciate her company after all. If only not to overthink his sightless situation and drown in his depressing theories. 

Miko was coming into view of the cockpit’s transparisteel viewport, and Hux paused his movement. 

This was different. 

Once, when he was still a Lieutenant and reluctantly assigned to drill newcomers by Brendol, he instructed cadets on their first shooting lessons. He took the job seriously, but the mandatory physical contact was something he had liked to avoid as much as possible. Having his father oversee his progress didn’t really help. The latter thought he could never do any good and ever since Sloane had bestowed the group of commandants' cadets from Arkanis on him, and made it clear the commandant had to convey his teaching techniques to him, tensions were… high.

Nonetheless, he made sure the new cadets were on the top rankings within the then already distributed First Order training curriculum, and tutoring these classes became a routine job.

This time, however, he felt that every little contact filled him with static electricity, although he was absolutely certain that was scientifically impossible. It made him lighter in his touch, doubtful, but also slightly longing to explore the strange responses their physical connection was making. He was slowly becoming aware that he was lingering just a bit too long on her hands, her arm, her shoulder, but he could not let go just yet. Seeing goosebumps form on her lower arm and the fact that he knew he was causing them, made him want to see which other effects he could have on her.

He gulped, all of a sudden conscious that the mysterious effect was starting to become bidirectional. His head felt light,  caused by little sparks popping up in his brain, and his face felt like it was burning. Contradictory, goosebumps formed underneath his clothes. He became aware of how the fabric was rubbing his skin and he couldn't stop thinking about how it would be if it were her warm hands instead.

Hux took a sharp breath and tried to concentrate on the task at hand, forcing his eyebrows into a harsh furrow as much as possible in an effort to hide any other evidence apparent on his features. 

“Remember this position. The stance of your arm will catch up the recoil. Now, try to aim and shoot,” he said sternly, hoping she didn’t hear the slight raspiness of his voice.

The blush on his cheeks refused to subside though, as did the thoughts of exploring her exposed skin some more. So he hastily decided to create some distance between them, before he would do something he might regret. 

Once he regained his wits somewhat, he slowly went to stand behind Miko, trying to march with a steady thread. He hoped she wouldn’t turn around to check on him, because he suspected she could easily notice the result of his state of mind now. 

Stars , this wasn’t the first time she made him lose his cool like this. He hated it, how she threw him off balance, made him feel out of control. 

Miko positioned the blaster as instructed and took a shot. The result wasn’t good, but definitely better than the previous feeble attempt. 

Looking at her stance, there was still some work to do. "Spread your legs a bit more" he added, very much aware that the instruction could be misinterpreted, given the light tremor intruding his spoken words. To his relief, she didn’t say anything about it. Now that he thought about it,  she hadn't looked his way nor spoken for a while now. He wasn’t going to complain about that, thank the stars , but it was curious in comparison to her usual manners. 

“Again, watch your left arm. Compensate.” he instructed, still aware that his voice didn't sound as determined as it usually did. The distance he created slowly made him able to focus again, though. At least enough, so he wouldn't blurt out ridiculous things. Or worse, do something he might regret. 

Again, again, again, he had to repeat for another 10 minutes, and she still wasn’t able to hit the target - and he still wasn’t able to let the unprofessional thoughts dissipate. The only thing he could do for now, was keep them at bay. 

He sighed, thinking about her lack of precision. When a recruit performed this badly, he usually sent them away for maintenance personnel training or something similar. Sanitising duty if he was extra annoyed.

But now, he had to persevere, if only for his own good. On top of that, his mind was still betraying him. It was as if it was sending him little doses of impure ideas, while having to watch her bring up her arms to aim the blaster, the pose exposing her curves more than usual. He repeatedly dictated her to correct her stance, resulting in her pivoting her feet with her usual energetic attitude. The accompanying harsh movements made her butt move in ways he couldn’t divert his gaze from, once he caught sight of it. Every little thing he noticed about her was making the shooting lessons even more of a challenge. But at least, the distance made it possible to subdue those thoughts enough to proceed with the exercise.

After another round of disheartening attempts, Miko hung down her shoulders and let out a frustrated moan, the raw noise bringing Armitage right back to his problematic thoughtlines, but this time much worse. He couldn’t stop the rather lewd visualisation that the sound forcibly pushed into his head. He could feel his blood boiling, his cheeks furiously glowing, fingers tingling as if they've been deprived of blood circulation all the while and oh by the galaxy his pants were becoming tighter…

Of all times, she turned around to face him now, as if she knew what he was going through after that groan of hers. In a haze of panic, Hux swiftly turned on his heels, towards the door, trying to hide the blush and other evidence in the less well lighted area of the loading bridge. 

‘Short break’, he almost whispered, before he left the small hangar space.

Armitage fled to his quarters, for the second time locking the door, leaning onto it. He was acutely aware of the déjà vu, and he knew back then the urge, the want, only increased after he had opened the door. Whenever she got close to him, it was as if his body had a mind on its own. Before, he was able to control himself, but what happened in the hangar was absolutely ludicrous. He needed to get her out of his system, so he could actually instruct her without thinking about trailing his hands over not only her hands and arms, but also her back, trace the muscles there that pull her shoulders back as a response to his fingers, map the bones of her clavicle, watch her throat gulp when he passes there with his thumb, then dipping down slowly, cupping and squeezing her breasts, seeing her shudder under his touch running downwards, working his fingers under the hem of her pants, pulling her closer by her belt and…

Fuck. It was no use.

He was again standing there, up against the door, like a stupid horny lowlife, with a rock hard boner he could hang his greatcoat on. He felt foolish and worthless, not being able to keep his subconscious needs where they should remain: subconscious. He’s a frigging officer of the First Order, he was able to withstand much more triggers than this, mentally taking note that he was taking over her horrible swearing habits as well. Seeing someone act so freely, without any emotional boundaries, was stirring up things deep inside him he couldn't bring to words yet. It was tearing down his carefully built up walls and he wasn’t sure what to think about it. 

But the dick was a serious issue. He still had to finish the training, to give their mission any chance of succeeding.

Frack.  

He snapped open the neck clasp of his uniform and pulled the clothing open with a speed which could damage the material, but right now he couldn’t care less. He clipped open his belt, making sure the thing didn’t clatter on the floor and alarm her. For all he knew, she was standing right behind the door he was leaning onto. Oh by the maker … he shouldn’t have thought about that, an almost painful throb shooting through his cock, which made him lower his pants with a bit more care than the uncharacteristically frenzy he performed on his vest. 

He took himself in his hand, shut his eyelids and debated whether or not he should do this. It’s been a while, he usually pulls so many all-nighters, making him pass out on his blue sofa or in best case in his bed with the datapad on his lap. 

But, by closing his eyes, his wretched imagination took over, taking him back to the hangar and the sounds she let out, suddenly turning into something much more explicit in his imaginary ears. Stars, he hated the fact that he couldn’t control his thoughts from flowing freely, but it was no use - he couldn’t stop the images from popping up. 

A fraction of a second later, he heard the same indecent noise but the scenery was replaced with the one in which she was only in one of his towels. When she was looking for something to wear, a few days ago, bowing down. His towels, his shirt, his… he wanted her to be his to claim… 

He suddenly was standing mere inches from her flushed face, their breath’s mangling when she righted herselves and slowly leaned into him. He started peeling off the plush piece of fabric in his fabricated dream while he automatically started pumping himself, not aware of his ridiculous stance and the cold durasteel on his back. He was so far gone he wouldn’t notice a star exploding. 

Hux didn’t think he still had a few brain cells left for producing imaginary scenarios like this, since he had tried to ignore them for so long. 

But by taking the plunge, they made him dive so deep into his subconsciousness he wasn’t even aware of what was up or down and by the gods of the galaxy he was yearning, yearning for a soft touch, to make her feel good and just feel something in return, feel worthy and content, for once in his life. To be in control of her pleasure, to make her whimper under his touch when he slowly traced her arms and shoulder, like he did in the hangar, her plump breasts, her buttcheeks, every detail of her skin. Just take in the effects he could have on her and feed on them. Greedily take the nape of her neck in his hands and pull her closer to taste her, pulling her legs up and press-

He shuddered, quickly imagining being buried deep down in her, the pressing of his hands on her hips and her neck leaving bruises, and pulling her impossibly closer on his spilling cock.

He opened his eyelids, the light of the room playing tricks on his retina because he squeezed his eyes close too hard. He only then realised his hands were sticky from his cum, coming down from a height he hadn’t been on for a very long time. 

Actually, if he thought about it, he couldn’t have imagined it was ever like this. This…intense… real. Soft? His usual sexual fantasies were definitely not this emotionally loaded and soft. And took a while longer to reach its climax. This was ridiculously improvised.

Now that he was more or less thinking clearly, it made him feel sick.

He was still trying to catch his breath, pondering on why she was doing this to him. How was he going to be able to withstand these urges he never had to keep under control before?

Hux heard some rambling in the wardroom, snapping him out the leftovers of his trance. How long was he standing here against the door? She might start asking questions if I don't get my act together now . He stumbled to the sink, washed up quickly, hastily put on his clothes - hissing when he raked the bacta patch while pulling his pants up - and combed his hair. Then, he double checked his appearance in the mirror, wanting to make sure there was no evidence left of his previous state of distress. 

He took a deep breath, put his head up high and took long strikes to the door. This time, he wouldn’t allow himself to get distracted.

He just entered the wardroom and noticed Miko walking towards the cockpit, datapad and some rubbish in both hands. 

What is she up to? Again?  

Armitage followed her wake, both annoyed by her sudden and unauthorised action and curious what got into her head this time. When he arrived, that droid and she were doing something at the comm unit and didn't look at him entering. 

"All set and done. You should be able to connect to my commlink now!” She exclaimed with a smile, signalling him that she did notice his arrival.

"The new identification code they provided us with is also installed. Your ship should be listed as a cargo vessel right now." She happily mentioned, after she placed her hands on her hips.

Hux sighed, glad a practical conversation might make him forget about what he just wanted to do to her, and replied: "Let's hope no one wants to actually check it out, because one glance from an enthusiastic republican will get us into trouble." Miko quickly turned her head towards him. “We should’ve painted the ship in a happy colour, you’re right. Like, bright orange.” she whispered in a secretive way. 

He cocked his eyebrow, not sure what to do with her comment. 

”Kidding Hux, I don’t have a death wish. Although I don’t know if death at your hands would be worse than whatever we’re facing next.” she said smilingly, turning back to the controls. 

Hux gulped and decided not to react to that comment. He was content to hear she didn’t underestimate him, but he did just think about fucking her with his hands on her neck and now… he decided the weapons controls needed to be checked. 

Any distraction would do.

After a short pause, she righted her back and said to him: “I'm done here. Up for round 2?” 

He harshly turned his attention to her, slightly confused and already sweating under his collar, the sentence having a completely different meaning in his ears. Before he could actually register what she was really talking about, she exclaimed “I’ll be in the hangar” and turned around with a slightly bubbly attitude. 

He sighed again and followed her wake, keeping enough distance. He wasn’t going to get tricked by his hormones twice.

The training session went on for another 30 standard minutes. Hux kept his distance and was able to find back his instructor mode, and even keep any unwanted distractions to a minimum. They kept going, until she was able to automatically pull, aim and shoot. Actually hitting a target was beneath any standards, but for the approaching rendezvous, just having the movement in her physical memory would have to suffice. 

The proximity alarm went off, signalling their arrival. The duo stopped their activities. Miko holstered the blaster, put PC on her back, and followed in Hux’ shadow towards the cockpit.

Miko’s mind was racing.  The tranquillity and purpose she had found a few minutes ago, had been efficiently eaten away by her unwanted travel companion. That outburst all too vividly reminded her again of how dangerous, maybe violent, he might become. 

When she left the cockpit, she had opted to sit on the bench in the wardroom, her knees pressed up to her chest and her head facing the closed cockpit entrance. That's where she was now, trying to get the time pass more quickly, while making sure Hux couldn't come near her without her noticing. 

One of her datapads lay on the table to her left, the little droid charging right next to it, so she took it, in an attempt to distract herself and clear her head. 

Her fingers started tapping the screen with a seasoned swiftness, accessing PC’S processing unit. Inspiration hit her, driven by what had happened in the cockpit, and she started to program a new procedure into the little droid's core.

She looked at the cockpit’s door for a second, doubt apparent on her features. 

She was currently making sure that PC would record everything that happened around her, just in case. Both on Taris' planetside as around the creepy ex-general. 

The droid could wirelessly connect to her built-in data chip and to her datapad, which could then save the holo onto a remote location, safely tucked away.  It wouldn't protect herself at the moment itself, but at least she would have some evidence, should she ever need it. The last thing she wanted to be, was entirely defenseless. 

She sighed. The trip to Taris was short compared to their first one together, now that their hyperdrive and the nav component was fixed. But, given how quickly the atmosphere had turned as cold as deep space, she already wished it was over. The grumpy ginger's mood was as bad as the Kessel storms and she wondered how she ever saw something in him. Who knew she could've gotten so caught up in physical needs? And why? Stress? Subconscious desires? Whatever she felt back then, she definitely didn't feel it right now. 

Now, she was wondering if she could even bring up the courage to spend the next journey with someone as detestable as him.

“What are you doing?” she suddenly heard from behind her back. 

She jolted up from her crouched position and turned her head. Hux had sneaked up from behind her and had scared her to death. Or maybe she just thought he sneaked up on her, since she missed the sound of the door because she was still in deep thoughts about him and whatever dark plans he might have. 

She let out a breath, trying to calm down, and tried to ban the idea that he was being sneaky on purpose. 

'N-nothing special' she blurted out, aware of the slight tremble in her voice.

'I wanted to check on you to make sure you weren't up to something you might regret' he added, almost whispering. 

O-kay… he is most definitely creepy, she reconsidered, pressing the datapad close to her chest and mentally taking note she shouldn't ban the idea after all. 

The stone cold atmosphere he had just created, made her forget that he was more or less insulting her, again. It only slowly seeped through that, from his point of view, seeing someone so focused on a datapad, when they had agreed that no communication channels should be used, might've looked suspicious. Still, whatever the reason was, there were better ways to relay the message.

Miko didn't immediately know how to respond and sat still, watching him step to the pantry and wondering what his plans were. To her surprise though, he opened a cabinet to take or make something to drink. 

Oddly, he did have the decency to fetch something for her as well. Even more odd, it was the taste she preferred, given the limited choice aboard the shuttle. She stared at the mintea bottle in silence while it travelled her way. Hux sat the bottle in front of her, then turned around. She watched his back when he went to prepare his. It only took him a few seconds, so she had to avert her eyes once he turned towards her direction. 

Miko started to wonder if the rather worrisome comment he had whispered her way was actually meant to be a conversation starter, seeing how he was trying to act casually and looking to sit somewhere on the bench as well.

Intrigued by this opportunity for a talk, she put her datapad sideways. She focused on the bottle in front of her, still having the urge to be cautious around him and avoiding eye contact. 

After a small pause, he placed his cup on the table and took a spot to her right. It was subtle, but she could see him adjust his posture. Probably, he was looking for a more comfortable way to sit, because of the shot wound in his leg, she wondered. 

When he stirred in the cup he had chosen, the smell of caf and another sharp spice filled the room. He slowly took a sip, not looking at Miko’s general direction. 

Miko was utterly confused and - probably for the first time ever - didn't know what to say or do at all. He had the power to swing her mood to every corner of the emotional spectrum in mere seconds. She slowly became aware of that, and she didn’t like it. 

Still unsure about what to do, she mimicked his movements and took a nip from the scented water. She didn’t even register the taste.

After a short but rather uneasy silence, Hux opened his mouth:  

'I might have interpreted your remark about my teeth incorrectly, I was in deep thoughts, reevaluating our options and best strategy. I was reminded about the subsequent incidents on the Steadfast and felt rather… uneasy... I probably have misjudged the purpose of your comment. ' 

Miko blinked her eyes twice before she let out a relieved breath. Was that an apology? That’s…unexpected . 

She dared to look his way. His tone was even and could easily have been mistaken as confident, but the way he applied pressure on the cup told her it took him some effort to admit his error. The hardly noticeable body language made her feel a bit more at ease, it was as seeing him struggle with something made her feel like she wasn't alone in this crazy situation. 

She felt her mood brighten, feeling more on common ground with him, and found her usual wittiness back.

‘Don’t worry about it’, she replied with an overly cheerful tone. Although just a moment ago she was definitely bothered by his demeanour, seeing this new development apparently made her stupidly hopeful. 

‘I shouldn’t have responded so crudely as well. We’re both out of our comfort zones. Seems like we need to find a way to adjust to each other.’ she added, an innocent smile forming on her face. 

She eyed him sideways and he nodded without looking at her. 

He took another sip, so she concluded he decided the conversation was already over. She huffed silently and turned her attention to PC again, to check if the update was successfully implemented.

Her mind started wandering and replaying the conversation. This was probably as good as it was going to get. It's not that she was hoping for a normal conversation, anyway. After everything she saw from him, she was highly doubting that was even possible. 

The little droid bleeped, and the both of them looked up.

 'All fixed', Miko exclaimed, breaking the silence. 

Armitage gave her a quizzical look, which made her realise she didn't answer his initial question.

 'I gave PC a little update on his backup system, nothing special . ' she explained and pulled up her shoulders. 'I don't want to lose him if something bad happens,' she murmured. She wasn’t going to tell him what kind of upgrade it really was.

She saw the ex-general shift his weight uncomfortably, probably as a response to her clarification and the mention of what could happen to them soon.  She paused and tried to gauge his current train of thoughts. Was this about what could happen if they arrive at Taris? Or at the resistance base? 

Curiosity got the upper hand over caution. She at least wanted to know why he was risking his life - and by extension her life - for.

She took a breath and quietly asked: 'Why did you do it  - betray the First Order?' 

He let out an annoyed sigh in response.

'Why would I tell you that?' he answered with a hint of arrogance. 

She closed her eyes and reminded herself that she still shouldn’t expect a normal conversation with this asshole. Oh, he could easily anger her, but not this time. Or at least, that’s what she was hoping for.

'You’re going to have to have a solid story once we arrive at the resistance base. You might as well give it a try with me?' She said, using a different tactic and trying to sound encouraging. She tried to make eye contact, wanting him to open up to her for at least a little bit, for both their sakes. 

He looked her dead in the eye, but remained silent for a few seconds. Kriff , involuntary, his piercing gaze was slowly taking her back two days ago, to the incident and the shower, and making her breathe erratically. She tried to subdue the effect and hoped he didn’t catch the change in her body language.

She was about to give up on their staring contest, to stop the memories and fantasies from pulling her into a state of slight panic, when he finally looked down and hesitantly spoke. 

Miko wasn’t sure if she imagined a slight tremble of his lower lip, right before he started talking: 

"I…I’m not sure where to start." He admitted softly.

Oh.

"...Start where the first things went wrong?" She quietly enquired. 

He still didn't look up and hesitantly nodded. 

He sighed, obviously trying to think of a good way to begin this conversation. Miko suddenly became aware of the shift in the atmosphere, the air became thick and loaded with suspense. The man before her was digging into his memory and bringing up things he'd rather would like to keep hidden, she could tell from his demeanour alone. She contemplated if asking the question was even a good idea; seeing him become so… unstable… reminded her too much of that time he lunged at her. She subconsciously put some extra distance between both of them.

As if someone opened a water valve, Hux thoughts were formed into words and were spilled out. 

"I was in control, at the top of my game, and seeing a clear future for the galaxy.  Order, peace, prosperity under the First Order 's flag." 

His brows were heavily frowned. 

Miko tried to keep a straight face and not comment on that statement already. It didn't really surprise her that this was his view on the universe. What a whole different perspective than mine , she mused. She tried to ignore the itch she got from his words and reminded herself that he would be out of her life in a few days, worst case. No need to throw another argument, just because of different values and norms. 

He continued: "We had a good strategic plan, both in the short term and long term. I had to endure Ren as a competitor, but that was doable. And, in a way, he was a rather welcome respite. It was easy to make him lose face before Snoke. But I’m getting distracted.  The moment word arrived that that cursed old Jedi was still around, and there was a clue to his location, chaos broke loose. It was as if every single event just was planned against everything the Order stands for." 

He paused and stared at the cockpit's durasteel door.

"The whole Jedi-hunting offensive escalated into an irrational chase, regrettably distracting supreme leader Snoke and driving Ren even more insane and unmanageable. " 

He waved his hand through his hair, freeing the strands from the leftover gel. 

"I don't have proof, but I highly suspect it was Ren and not the jedi girl that killed Snoke. He illegitimately seized power, and by doing so he created a chism in the chain of command." 

Hux absently rubbed his throat, but the gesture didn't go unnoticed by Miko. She could almost feel the mix of spite and ire, but underneath that thin layer she could distinguish that something unsettling happened there, something that ran deeper than the competition he just had described. 

After a pause, Armitage continued: "He started a chain reaction, by following his obsessions he got lost in them and didn't want to hear that his actions were not in the best interest of our powerful Order. Other officers complained to me, but every single time I took action, he slammed the door right in my face. He took my advice as critique, not that that was different than before, but now he was the illegitimate fragging Supreme Leader and he still couldn't distance himself from his ego. I've always been better at making management and strategic decisions. He was supposed to remain the deterrent for any kind of rebellion.  He wasn’t supposed to lead us." 

He was clenching his fists now, and Miko could swear she could hear the heightened pace of his heartbeat. 

She had asked him for some context, and she didn't really know what to expect. But this was certainly more intense than what she could have guessed. 

He didn't look at her through,  and she wondered if he was even still aware of her presence. It was as if he was contemplating his situation and just saying it aloud, as if she wasn’t there.

He swung his head to one side and let out an exasperated sigh, before he continued: "And when that wretched message was broadcasted from the late Emperor, Pryde and his reserve troops appeared from the unknown regions,  much stronger than anticipated.  Their numbers… I am still flabbergasted at how he could manage to gather so many men. I highly doubt they were trained for something more than cannon fodder, they couldn't all have followed basic training,  but I'm getting distracted again. " 

He paused and gave her a sharp look.

"The fact is that right then, Ren saw an opportunity to demote me. Not in rank, but in practice. Putting more responsibilities in Pryde's hands, and eventually in the other generals. He wasn’t even subtle about it.

 And the decisions he made… I couldn't keep supporting them but each time I expressed my concern, it backfired."

He sighed and waved his hand absentmindedly. 

"I guess it was in one of these discussions that I started to realise I didn't recognize the Order and what it stood for anymore. Without Snoke or anyone from the original high command, without me being able to have a steady hand on the decision organ… the Order was drifting apart."

He bowed his head and frantically rubbed his hair a few times before he froze for a minute. He didn’t look up and continued. 

"And… then I made a huge gamble. If I wanted a stable future for the Order, I had to make Ren and his acolytes disappear. The emperor 's message was the obvious choice.  I had to lure Ren and his knights away, or at least let him lose enough face to be able to seize power as supreme leader myself. Putting pressure on him by involving the resistance and that jedi girl was going to drive him even more unreasonable, that's what I anticipated. But… I knew he or someone else might find out. Spreading this information could only come from somewhere high up the ranks, and I already lost favour. I just hoped I had time to frame someone else. Preferably Pryde. " 

His voice turned soft now, almost like a whisper: "But, ironically, he was the one who put the puzzle pieces together. You know what happened after that." 

Miko gulped and nodded. She remembered Pryde and could’ve guessed both generals were a close match when it came to being power hungry backstabbing psychopaths. But hearing him explain what drove him to abandon the Worst Order - well, not the Order, but the command structure - told her he wasn't only a damn well versed manipulative strategist but also genuinely worried about losing his home and ideals. Guessing he was a rather young general, the First Order was most likely where he grew up and grew into. He was losing the only life he'd probably known and the future he'd hoped for. Although her idea about the Worst Order didn't change from this elaboration - on the contrary - she did feel sorry for him. And that should probably unsettle her more than it actually did.

This was one of the hardest conversations Hux had had in a while. For the first time saying out loud that he had betrayed what he once stood for, made it all the more real. Looking for the right words, finding out how to tell her, and himself, was difficult at first.

 But once the sentences had started to form, they just flew from his brain like they were ready to burst. 

He couldn’t remember if he ever had been so earnest with someone. Even with Sloane, he used to be more cautious once he grasped the concepts of lobbying, negotiation and manipulation. This exposition felt like a confession; dangerous and relieving at the same time. Now, though, he realised that he was just staring at her and fiddling his fingers and showing a part of him he’d rather not show to anyone. Or see for himself.

He realised what a pathetic impotent mess he must look like, and wondered why she didn’t comment on that. She could humiliate him, throw in another argument, but she just… listened. Looked his way with an apprehensive gaze. It confused him, why she didn’t make use of this weak moment. Somehow, the fact that she was trying to understand him, was hitting his defences harder than humiliation could.

"I- think you might want to leave out some parts, but you sound pretty convincing", she instead whispered, while she continued looking at him with big eyes. She peered at him, trying to find something he wasn’t sure of, but the intenseness unsettled him. He quickly nodded and looked down, staring into his cup and trying to ignore the cold sweat that appeared out of nowhere. 

Stars , it was as if her gaze had almost trapped him, the way the amber eyes bore through his own retina and looked right into his forsaken soul. 

Humiliation would’ve been so much better.

He at least knew how to handle that.

He tried to focus on the caf in his hands, studying the vibrating ripples in the liquid. Wait…why was he shaking? He didn’t dare to look up again, unsure about what was happening to him. He tried to concentrate on his breathing, in hopes of making the tremble disappear. What was this? Was he angry at her, just for looking at him? No, this wasn’t anger… it was something di-

"When will we arrive at Taris?" Miko suddenly asked him, in a welcome effort to break the awkward silence. Her question brought him back to reality, and the trembling abruptly stopped. He didn’t right his head, though, it was too soon for that.

"ETA is 3 hours, so we should discuss strategy." He softly answered, taking the hint and glad to change the subject. 

She remained silent, so he risked looking up.

Miko looked at him with a smug smile. 

Did I say something crazy? He thought sceptically, but deep down he was also glad to fall into their recently developed routine of not always friendly bantering. 

She took out her datapad, performed some commands and started reading: "apparently, the coordinates lead to a highly populated area. From the available info, the meeting point is situated just next to a marketplace." 

Hux looked at her with a slightly threatening face, mixed with a hunch of panic. Why was I glad again? She's going to be the death of me.  

She caught sight of his distress and immediately responded: "relax, Hux, I retrieved this intell when we were at Utapau Four. I used Tagge's company network, put up a proxy, did a local copy and removed the crumbs afterwards. There's no way they can trace anything back towards us." 

He leaned back into the backrest of the bench, while recuperating from a minor panic attack and trying to maintain a blank face. She was young and maybe a bit naive, but at least she thought things through. The fact that she wanted to go to the meeting spot prepared, was surprising and strangely comforting to him. 

"Taris used to be the centre of the galaxy, thousands of years ago. The population could've been compared with Coruscant this age. Its population has dwindled though, and a lot of the cities were destroyed in several wars. The jedi war, the rebel alliance. The empire had to give up its rule on the planet and since then it's been New Republic territory. I should be wary of thugs and cons and take the necessary precautions,” Hux mentioned matter-of-factly.  

"What do you mean, "I"? I'm going with you, you know!” Miko responded, slightly raising her voice and eyeing him.

She took PC from the bench and placed him on her shoulder with a rather forceful action. After that, she stood straight, turned around and walked to the door with a steady thread.

What?  

"What are you doing?" Hux demanded with a hissing tone, before she got out of his sight. 

"Getting ready to gear up, of course. Isn't that obvious?" She huffed in his general direction. 

He stood up, felt his blood pressure rise, and clenched his fists. "You should stay here. These kinds of places can be dangerous. Let me do the transfer." He responded while slowly raising his voice and pointing to the deck. 

Miko turned his direction, crossed her arms and cocked her head. "You? What do you think they'll do if they see your face? Remember how my father reacted. You won't have the chance to do any talking. And… and you'll blow your cover!" She half shouted at him, before she continued her path.

Hux cursed inwardly. She was right. But he didn't want to let her go. She might get caught as well. He wouldn't be too surprised if that bastard Pryde might've sent out a warrant for her. And if they find her, surely he'll be compromised. She lacked experience and from what he'd seen from her, that foul mouth could get her into some real trouble. Including the type of trouble leading back to him.

But on the other hand, she did have a point. Going with her was an invalid option. Even if he had some kind of disguise, to get to the intel they needed, he would have to take serious risks. Much more compared to sending her and her loud mouth out there alone. If he could avoid those risks, he normally would, without thinking twice. But why has he thought of getting himself in the line of fire, before her, now? This didn't make any sense.

Maybe, it was because if something happened to her, he would be stranded here. All chances were on her succeeding. Or that's what he was trying to make himself believe.  Why was he so nervous?

He quickly went after Miko, passed her with large steps and stood still right before her,  blocking her path so she had to halt her movements. She looked upwards to him, an troubled expression on her face. Stars, those eyes again. Nobody has looked at him like that before. Straight eye contact, without disgust or fear. He gulped but quickly found back the words he was going to relay on her.

“Make sure I can trace your location and contact you without it getting noticed. I'm going to follow every step and action you're taking.” he commanded.

“Don't you trust me?” she replied, looking annoyed by his directive tone. 

Only now he realised he might’ve stepped up a bit too close to her; he could feel her angry breath and he wondered why he was staring at her lips right now. 

The droid on her shoulder turned its head,  mimicking her annoyance, but he didn’t register it. He did try to come up with a quick response:

 “I don't trust anyone. And no, I want to make sure you'll be safe. I need you, remember?“ he countered, his tone directive but his eyes still for some reason glued to her lips. They opened up in a small 'o', momentarily making him forget what he just said. Until his own words dawned upon him.

That sounded disturbingly awkward, he realised while slowly raising his gaze to look up into her eyes. And the way she looked back at him right now, confused and wide eyed, her mouth slowly closing, made it very clear that she misunderstood it just the same. He was slightly aware of how his heart was throbbing in his throat, how dry his mouth suddenly felt, and he desperately tried to ignore the confusing feeling. Oh by the stars in the galaxy… He had to break this pause before it got even more awkward.

He averted his head for a split second, looking to the hyperspace stripes through the viewport, trying to kriffing calm down. He then placed his hands behind his back, trying to find back his reasoning and returning his steel focus on her and what he still wanted to relay to her. He needed to focus on the upcoming mission, not on her lips.

“Look, if you see anything suspicious, report it to me. And if you feel unsure, retreat. Don't do anything rash. Playing the hero usually renders those people dead." He said. "Carry a blaster.” he quickly added with a stern voice. Getting back into his directive role helped to subdue the burning he could sense on his cheeks. 

“You know I can't and won't shoot .” she replied, crossing her arms with a bit of effort, since both of them hadn't moved and they were still standing at a few centimetres distance from each other.

Sigh, how can she be so stubborn about not killing anyone? Hux wondered with reluctance.

 “You're going to have to kill someone sooner or later, Miko.” He bluntly stated, looking down on her.  

“Maybe in a world shaped by the First Order, mister ex-general. But that's not the world I prefer to be in. So I'm not planning on carrying a blaster with me.” she boldly replied and looked sideways with her arms still crossed, the swing of her body movement making her left elbow touch his stomach. 

Armitage became acutely aware of how uncommon and awkward and dangerous this conversation was becoming. How both of them refused to yield, both in the conversation and physically, and he hated that he felt so bothered by her close presence. He never was keen on someone entering his personal space, but this was different. Luckily, though, he was annoyed enough to ignore the unsettling effect the lack of distance was having on him.

And annoyed he was: “You don't know what you're walking into, this is no playground! You should at least take something with you! Worst case; set it to stun. For your own sake.” He threw at her, realising how she was getting on his nerves again and wondering if this conversation had any purpose at all.

She was looking pretty worked up as well now, he could notice from this up close; the blush on her cheeks was more pronounced than usual. But when he mentioned the stun function, she paused, took a deep breath and looked to the ground. 

“Okay, I can live with that. I think. Not that I'll be able to kriffing hit someone with it anyway.” she mumbled after a small pause, while she was staring at his boots with a defiant glare.

He held his breath for a split second. “I’ll give you a crash course. Let me fetch some blasters and let's meet up in the cargo bay,” he stated, slightly surprised and relieved with her decision. He hoped he could at least maximise his chances a bit by preparing her for possible conflict.

Miko stood still in the middle of the loading bridge. The available crates from the small hangar were positioned at the other end of the room, on which Hux had placed a few empty canisters. PC was impatiently patrolling the walls behind her, reflecting her restlessness and keeping an eye on her and Hux from the distance.

The latter had just given her some kind of weapon. She didn’t like the feeling; it weighed so heavy, as did the power that came with it. She didn’t want this responsibility, convinced that it could only make matters worse. But if things were going to get heated up out there, she didn’t want to lose her life either. Especially not when she was doing this for this Worst Order criminal.

Armitage was now pacing around in the hangar with a steady tread. He started reciting a text he probably had said so many times before: 

‘This is the SE-44C, it’s one of my personal choices. It’s a lightweight blaster but still sturdy, and hasn’t got a lot of recoil. It’s easier to hide and carry with you than the standard trooper’s F-11D. It’s less obvious and this customised version isn’t white like the regulars, so it won’t draw attention.'

He walked towards her, back straight and head up, took the weapon on its barrel and coerced her to turn it sideways. The left flank was visible now and Miko noticed the different buttons and indents. 

“This is the safety pal." Hux pointed out and continued. "You remove it this way. Never forget to put it on when you put it back in your holster. This one’s for the power. This is stun, this is full power. Try the mechanisms,’ he instructed and gave control back to her. She nodded and tried to concentrate on memorising the functions. Changing the settings wasn’t hard, but she suspected this was only the easy part of the course.

Hux walked away to the back, the heels of his boots making a clicking sound that resonated through the hangar. He then stopped and turned to stand behind her, paused to take a breath and put his hands behind his back. 

‘Try to aim.’ he commanded. 

Miko unexpectedly felt a strange chill climb up her spine. An involuntary shiver she was unable to stop.

Where did it originate from? She started to wonder. Out of her stubbornness towards him? She really didn’t like getting orders like that, that was for certain. The whole authoritative strut had already almost made her eyes roll.

But, he was also standing really close to her and just out of her sight, and she somehow suddenly became aware of both their breathing. It was as if her senses were promptly heightened, because she was quite sure that hearing his breath should be impossible even from this close. 

Not only that, the way he just spoke out loud… the overbearing speech combined with the rolling r and the slight crack in his voice…  it was signalling those strange electric chills to her, a mirror of the ones she already experienced a few days ago. 

Nothing good could come from those.

Miko gulped, looked at the crates and canisters again and tried to regain focus. She pulled up the blaster like she saw the troopers do, that time they were attempting to escape the Steadfast . But in all honesty, she had no idea what she was doing. 

She heard Hux sigh from behind, letting her know he was still close by and still out of sight. And not content with this first feeble attempt.

Oh, I must really look like a total failure in his eyes already . The thought stung, she didn't want to let him down after he conceded in letting her go to the rendezvous point, and even making an effort to train her.

Realisation struck that somewhere deeply tucked away, she did want to get his appraisal and meet with his expectations, at least for a little bit. She hated the idea that she was looking for some form of validation from him, and she couldn't place why she wanted it in the first place. 

Did she agree to these shooting lessons, just to be able to get out of the ship for a while? Or…

Looking more inward, she wondered if this wasn’t about something else than just being able to visit Taris. 

Her self-secure demeanour has always only been a front and deep down, she knew that. Since the Steadfast up till now, that front had saved her from more trouble. But more than sometimes, she had been insecure and scared as kriffing hell . Getting some reassurance, even from Hux, would at least make her feel a bit better. Some positive feedback might actually help, to make her believe that she had some control over her integrity and what was going to happen.

Frack , she hoped her little weak moments hadn't shown yet. This Worst Order scum seemed to be able to make cracks in her shield and he definitely should not have all these troublesome effects on her. She wished he would never catch onto this subconscious need for praise and her other misplaced feelings. But the way he had treated her before, still made her indecisive about whether he was perceptive about others or not. How much of the little worrisome signals did he catch onto already?

Hux walked from her back to her side, taking the blaster in his right hand from above, while she was still holding it. When he tried to pull up the weapon, the tip of his gloves brushed her phalanges. Her mind went blank for a moment, before she realised he coerced her to heighten the weapon's position. After she silently complied, he took her hands and adjusted them finger by finger, each pull making her lose focus and even making her feel a bit dizzy. 

The placement of her arm and at last her shoulder needed a correction too, his gloved hands expertly starting to execute the job and her feet involuntarily becoming more and more unstable. 

The ex-general didn’t give her a break though, and continued to adjust her posture through a very effective grip on her shoulder with his right hand, while pointing his left hand’s index and middle finger at the dip of her back, straight on the knuckles of her spine. Gah, she could feel her skin flush and blinked her eyes in an effort to get out of the spell he placed her in.

After that, he let go, and she finally was able to breathe again. Miko abruptly felt very self conscious, once the initial shock response to his fingers had died out. 

It took only a moment for him to concentrate on her hands and arms again, coercing her forearm up by putting his right hand under it, then continuing his path towards her upper arm. 

In another effort to subdue the reverberations her body was having on his touch, Miko tried to breathe evenly and think clearly. Maybe, she needed to focus on what was actually happening and not on what she was feeling, she thought, while directing her gaze to his right hand. The whole point of standing here was to learn how to shoot, so she should pay attention to that and stop getting distracted. 

From what she understood, he had been supervising training of those horrible first order troopers in the past, and what she observed now was a man who had done this kind of readjusting several times before. He was doing a routine job, correcting the way her fingers gripped the weapon, how she had to place her elbow a bit more to the outside. 

But to her, this wasn’t routine at all. 

Both learning how to hold a blaster and a man touching her like this. Oh dank.

Becoming lightheaded again but still mesmerised by his gestures, she was now looking at the way his hands moved from her elbow over her upper arm, adding light pressure at the base. His touch was rather soft, she absently noticed, which she didn’t expect after the last time they had made actual physical contact. 

Now that she thought back to that encounter, those gloved hands making contact with the skin of her arms made her shiver again, and involuntarily made her wonder how they would feel on other parts of her body. 

Goosebumps appeared on the visible parts of her lower arm and she promptly remembered how she thought he would be, from that time in the shower. Now though, she realised her assumptions were probably wrong, seeing how his fingers raked over her elbow right at this moment. Soft, but with purpose. Succeeding in making her change her stance with just the slightest pressure. 

The strange chill she got before returned, but way worse. 

She gulped when she realised that she would’ve liked such physical contact even more. Oh kriffing mynocs , why did she allow those fantasies in the shower? 

And why the frack was she reliving them now? How in the galaxy was she going to act normal around him now?

“Remember this position. The stance of your arm will catch up the recoil. Now, try to aim and shoot.” Hux said, and she quickly jerked her head up, feeling caught, and fairly certain that she had an obvious blush on her face.

Although it wasn’t her intention to look at him - she wouldn’t dare to do so this moment - her startling aligned her face with his. He seemed to be fully concentrating on her stance, a deep frown sporting his face and his eyes turned downwards. From up close, she could spot the smallest freckles… and a curious flush on his cheeks. 

Oh.

Armitage was looking to the everlasting hyperspace clouds, as if he was paying attention to it for the first time in his life. If Miko wanted to start a conversation - which she certainly didn’t - his intense gaze would've stopped her from doing so. She wondered what he was thinking, looking so serious and focussed on the void ahead.

This time however, she mused, the silence didn’t feel loaded and somehow had turned into something comforting. They had an actual plan and could focus on the upcoming mission. Everything was more or less under control. 

Miko felt like she finally had the time to study her companion. From the seat she was in, she noticed he was frowning deeply, and she could guess by that serious stern look on his face, he was thinking about the current bantha poodo he was in. 

She sat back in the co-pilot 's chair while keeping an eye on his side profile. She knew by now he had done some horrible things - based on her father's reaction - although she didn't know the exact details. 

Thinking back to the way he introduced himself to her with so much flair, his previous position within the military must’ve meant everything to him. The First Order was probably the only life he knew. And she doubted one could become a general by playing along nicely, so he probably has done and sacrificed a lot to get in that seat. 

Still, he betrayed all that. For what?

Her mind wandered back to the time he miraculously woke up beneath her, onboard the Steadfast . She really was convinced he was dead at the time. She could remember the shock she felt, when she unceremoniously had fallen down on his limp body. But the memory was blurred by the storm of emotions and adrenaline she went through that moment. 

Did I really somehow… revive him, like he said? How could that be even frigging possible?  

The girl looked at her hands and slowly turned them around, trying to see if something happened if she tensed the muscles in her fingers. 

Of course, it was to no avail, making her wonder if he was just making things up for some obscure reason. But why would he do that? 

Nothing made sense these past days . The chaos, violence, the unexpected get-away, everything was wearing her down.

She slowly looked back to the ex-general and noticed how his jaw was slightly moving. 

Was he grinding his teeth… again ? 

At this moment, she was absolutely positive this man was full of frustrations and looking at the bags under his bloodshot eyes and his pale skin, the stress was eating him slowly but surely. 

She closed her eyes. If she was not going to stop paying attention to him, she was going to start getting worked up as well, and that wouldn’t help them any further. 

After a short pause, Miko felt relatively at ease again and decided to follow Hux’ gaze, so she started staring at the hyperspace clouds as well. They were somehow enchanting, the slight rotation of the ship making the clouds swirl and giving the space outside a dreamy aura. 

Honestly, right now, this all felt like a bad dream. She had always wanted to leave Utapau Four behind, and she used to fantasise about steering her own ship, drifting through hyperspace, from system to system. Seeing the most beautiful parts of the galaxy. Looking for a place with more purpose to land. 

She once wished for adventure, but now, the sting of hastily having to say goodbye to her father, maybe for good, was reminding her that she wasn't living her dream. This was all too real and absolutely not how she wanted to leave her home behind. 

She felt the urge to cry slowly rising from her chest, but she refused to give in to those feelings, especially around that pompous manipulative asshole. She gulped and kept her head down, trying to find tranquillity once again.

Only a few seconds later, she noticed a small but very irritating noise originating from the left. She looked back at Hux, who was now grinding his teeth so loud she could hear it from her seat and it was not helping her current emotional state.

Kriff.

‘Could you please stop doing that?? It’s not good for both your teeth and my headache’, she said, grumbling, only then realising she was again talking before thinking things through. 

This frigging bastard had almost choked me to death, if it wasn’t for PC , she hastily reminded herself, cold sweat appearing on her backside.

But the next thought that entered her worked up mind, were those glassy eyes again. Almost instantly she felt her cheeks go red, betrayed by her own thoughts, so she swiftly diverted her attention to the other side of the shuttle and gulped. She sincerely hoped he wouldn't turn around and see the blush under the dim light.

Unfortunately, Hux decided to redirect his energy from destroying his teeth to destroying any hope for a normal conversation, and he slowly faced her. 

‘Just who do you think you’re talking to?’ he replied with a low voice, giving her a dangerous look, as if she had done something extremely rude. Her body already involuntarily responded to his words and made her turn her attention back to him, momentarily forgetting the blush and trying to process his rude comment.  

Was this the tone he normally used when a subordinate had messed up pretty bad? she absently considered, trying to find a way to explain that this reply was somehow socially acceptable in Worst Order context. 

But, despite trying to negate the brusqueness in what he just said, she could not get rid of the feeling that he was intimidating her, that was for sure. And, combined with the reason she had been blushing before, he was tearing her apart with these most confusing thoughts.

Right now, under his persistent, piercing gaze, she felt like she couldn’t breathe easily, feeling mixed emotions of anger, inadequacy from her part (and for what? He didn't have anything to expect from her), getting slightly terrified and some other burning feeling from her abdomen. One that matched well with her pink cheeks.

She abruptly closed her mouth and looked away with a defying glance. There was no good verbal response she could come up with, especially since she felt like he turned her into a mess so easily. 

This was a conversation she wouldn’t take any further, because it was going to end in the both of them shouting again, and maybe worse. 

The next few seconds, her discomfort only escalated further into distress. Miko felt like she was walking on thin ice, scared to accidentally provoke him. Not that she was convinced there were any actual triggers, but the thought of his hands around her throat tended to do that to her. So, she decided she didn’t want to stay in the same room with him any more and left the cockpit without a word.

Armitage watched Miko’s back when she retreated from the cockpit. He made notice of her posture, which wasn't reflecting her usual defiance. Unlike their other unfortunate encounters, she looked a bit resigned but mainly confused, most likely too emotionally disturbed to be thinking clearly. Her face looked a bit worked up, too.

Thinking back on what he just said to her, he may have been overreacting due to his train of thoughts. She didn't actually say something offensive, although it was much more straightforward than any other conversation he has had in the past years. 

Taking into account that she already looked off, he hoped she wasn’t going to do anything stupid because of his response.

Given her mood though, he opted not to go after her, and wait in the cockpit a little longer. The atmosphere was already loaded enough and he wasn't looking forward to more energy consuming drama or useless fights. 

He automatically turned his attention back to the hyperspace void in front of him and picked up where his thoughts were left, before her intermission. 

The stress started eating at him again. He wasn’t used to having time for anything, and now he sat there, waiting, counting the hours before he was to be delivered to the enemy, at his own suggestion, no less. 

Was he going to be able to break Ren? How much more did he need to give up so he could remove that idiot, who knocked him from his ambitious trajectory? Is it all going to be worth it and what's going to be left of the First Order in the end? Will there be a chance for him to start over and get in charge again?

There had to be, it was the only life he knew. He had been there, only a little five year old boy, when the Order rose from the ashes of the Empire. So many sacrifices, harsh decisions and risks were taken to become what they were. He personally had pushed himself to the limits, over the limits, sometimes to the brink of insanity, to achieve greatness for the First Order. 

His mind wandered further,  thinking back about the choices he made, the career path he chose and pushed himself forward for.  The way he crawled up to the chain of command.

Yes, corruption was within their ranks. He wasn’t clean of those tactics either, but that’s part of the game. He learned those tricks from his father. 

Armitage grimaced at the thought of the latter, and how he made sure the younger Hux understood his teachings. 

There’s no way one could keep his hands clean in achieving leadership. But at least, he knew how the giant war machine worked, something Ren lacked. They all underestimated him, they didn't understand how far he was willing to go and up till now that had always worked in his advantage. 

The empire had shown that a strong hand was imperative to attain peace, but it was too flawed. And with insane emotionally unstable idiots like Ren at the top, the First Order was risking the same end. Something had to be done.

But, after literally leaking the Emperor's message to the resistance and letting high ranked resistance members escape, will he ever be able to seize command? Maybe he did go too far, this time? 

 He didn’t have many allies left. Phasma perished as did Snoke. Lower officers like Mitaka could prove to be loyal to him, given Ren’s outbursts on the personnel. But in high command, he was losing popularity because of Starkiller and the Fulminatrix.

And then there was that huge factor he hadn’t taken into account properly. 

Pryde. 

He knew of the sick prick and his reserve forces, but none of the acting officers of the First Order out in the outer rim were aware of how Pryde had strengthened their numbers so fast. The so-called allegiant-general had become a powerful and influential player. Suddenly, the tables had turned and both Pryde and Ren almost succeeded in removing him from the board of command.

Then came Palpatine 's message, and it was as if it announced Hux's demise. Pryde convinced his loyal allegiant officers that going after the message would bring them significant strategic advantages, while Ren was not open for reason.  Hux was automatically on the other end of the bargain, and thus enemy number one within the Order's upper ranks. 

How convenient for both. 

He felt his palms grow sticky beneath his leather gloves. He could try to come up with alternative tactics, go over the scenarios over and over again, but he already knew in the back of his mind that there was no better option than the way too risky plan he had picked now.

His jaw felt stiff and was starting to hurt from the constant pressure, the sting bringing him back to the present. He sighed deeply and rubbed his nasal bone.

On second thought, getting into some drama or a fight with Miko suddenly feels much more appealing than drowning in these thoughtlines , he scoffed.