#catullus 13

Bradley, Mark. 2014. Smell and the Ancient Senses. Routledge: 82.

a rhymed translation 

Salvete Omnes,

I'm feeling somewhat sassy today, and also somewhat bored. So I'm inviting a friend over to dinner--via a poem.

Cenabis bene, mi Fabulle, apud me paucis, si tibi di favent, diebus, si tecum attuleris bonam atque magnam cenam, non sine candida puella et vino et sale et omnibus cachinnis. Haec si, inquam, attuleris, venuste noster, cenabis bene; nam tui Catulli plenus sacculus est aranearum. Sed contra accipies meros amores, seu quid suavius elegantiusve est: nam unguentum dabo, quod meae puellae donarunt Veneres Cupidinesque; quod tu cum olfacies, deos rogabis totum ut te faciant, Fabulle, nasum.

You'll dine well at my house, my frater Fabullus

(yes, you can even stuff your face)

In a few days, if fate is kind and you're not busy

And if you bring with you a splendid three-course meal

(Appetizers, a main course, and most importantly dessert)

Not without a splendid damsel

And wine (or champagne), and sass, and as many jokes as possible

As long as they're not knock-knock jokes.

If you bring these, I say, comrade,

you will dine magnificently--for Catullus's

bank account is full of zeroes.Y

But as a repayment you'll get my appreciation and respect

Or whatever is awesomer and more fantastic:

For I'll give you some scented candles,

Which Cupid and Venus sent to my girl for Valentine's Day

And when you smell them, you will wish upon a shooting star

That you, my dear Fabullus, can be all nose.

Curate ut valeatis,