Explaining Cats
There are so many things about Cats that are basically impossible to explain with a straight face. Like, just identifying characters can be like:
Thatās Mistoffelees. He has a song, so I donāt really need to explain him, but you should know that if someone mentions a character called Quaxo, they probably mean him. Maybe. There are Mistos that arenāt Quaxo and Quaxos that arenāt Misto, but most of the are both.Ā
Thatās Asparagus. No, not Gus. Yeah, Gus is short for Asparagus, but this Asparagus probably isnāt that Asparagus. To avoid confusion, some people call him Peter.
The :D cat is probably called George. He might be named Admetus, but that mightāve just been an error on the old website. A lot of people think heās a dog.
Carbuckety and Pouncival are the same, except when theyāre not. Bill Bailey and Tumblebrutus are the same, except when theyāre not. Jemima and Sillabub are the same, except when theyāre not. Admetus and Plato are the same, except when theyāre not or one of them is actually George.Ā
Pouncival is also George sometimes. George was Jonathan this one time, and I think he was Bill Bailey at least once. This character design is named Admetus, Bill Bailey, Jonathan, Pouncival, and/or George.
And almost none of these characters will ever be directly referred to by their names!
Also, these are the kittens. No, theyāre not children, at least not usually, but they are baby. There is a difference between being a child and being baby. Misto is baby but heās not even a kitten. Well, heās adultish. Kittens are sort of adults too, but theyāre like baby adults. Misto is a baby adult but not a kitten. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are also not kittens, probably, but theyāre kind of baby sometimes.
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are assumed to be twins, but no one really knows and they might actually be fucking.
The girl kittens are Jemima/Sillabub, Victoria, Electra, and Etcetera. No really, thatās her name.
Outside of naming characters, thereās always:
The Jellicles are Jellicles because thatās what they call themselves. Jellicle means Jellicle which means Jellicle.
Yes, everyone is really horny, and yes, itās supposed to be that way.Ā
āBuried nine wivesā is an old-fashioned way of sayingĀ āoutlivedā, because the song lyrics are poems written in the 30s. The wordĀ āgayā is used to meanĀ ācheeryā instead ofĀ āgayā at some point. Also, racism.
So, a bunch of people are onstage, pretending to be cats. But, those cats are pretending to be pirates, and those cat pirates are singing a ballad about a parrot in a bar for long enough for it to basically be itās own number. Also, racism.
And, the answer to everything:
We donāt know exactly why this is happening but hereās like 12 different headcanons and 2 contradictory answers from two different actors in two different productions 30 years apart.


















