#catchingfeels

Jey hadn’t slept.

He’d spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, a half-smoked blunt resting in the ashtray and a thousand thoughts fighting for space in his head. No matter how many times he blinked or rolled over or reached for his phone, it always came back to the same thing.

A son.

He hadn’t said it out loud yet. He barely knew how to wrap his mind around it, let alone speak it with his chest. He was going to be a father. Whether he was ready or not.

And he wasn’t.

He didn’t grow up dreaming about being somebody’s dad. But he had one. A good one. A solid, no-bullshit kind of man who showed up even when he was tired, even when he was mad. Jey knew what that looked like. He just wasn’t sure he had it in him.

He’d seen the other side of it too. There were too many boys raised by women who were exhausted, bitter, or broken. Boys who grew up into men who didn’t know how to feel. Who never learned how to say “I’m sorry” or “I’m scared” or “I love you.”

He didn’t want that for his son.

But he also didn’t want to lie and pretend like he was ready.

His phone buzzed once beside him. It wasn’t her.

When his brother knocked on the door that morning, Jey was still in the same clothes from the night before. Hoodie, sweats, no socks.

“She’s pregnant? Like… with child?” Jimmy asked, stepping into the room like he hadn’t just walked into his brother’s mid-life crisis.

Jey didn’t even lift his head. “Man, what else does pregnant mean?”

Jimmy dropped onto the edge of the bed, staring like he needed to see it to believe it.

“I’m just saying. You? You never even had a scare. And now you telling me somebody five months along? You must’ve been in that shit raw as hell.”

Jey let out a dry laugh and shook his head. “Couple times, yeah. I wasn’t thinking straight. It was… different with her.”

Jimmy raised a brow. “Different how?”

Jey hesitated. How could he explain it without sounding soft? He told himself it was just sex, but it hadn’t felt like just sex. Not when they were texting all day. Not when they fell asleep on FaceTime. Not when she looked at him like she saw more than what he let people see.

“I don’t know,” he muttered. “We vibed. Talked. Laughed. I liked being around her. Shit just got… deeper than it was supposed to.”

“And you dipped.”

“I ain’t dip,” Jey snapped. “I backed off. I could tell she was catching feelings. I ain’t want to lead her on.”

“So instead, you ghosted her after acting like y’all was together? Then left her to be pregnant and confused? That’s even worse.”

Jey dragged his hand down his face, already tired of the guilt he was trying to dodge. “I know, bro. I wasn’t ready for this. I’m still not.”

“You twenty-six, not sixteen. This ain’t a game,” Jimmy said, voice serious now. “Life don’t wait for nobody to be ready.”

“I get that, but I still got shit I wanna do. I’m not even in a space to be somebody’s boyfriend. Let alone a father.”

“But you are. That baby coming regardless.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds. The weight of it all settling into the room.

“How far along is she?” Jimmy finally asked.

“Five months.”

“Damn. So you missed half the pregnancy.” He paused. “You know the gender?”

“A boy.” Jey’s voice dropped just above a whisper.

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “A boy? Damn, Uce. A son? You beat me. I really thought I was gon’ have the first one.”

Jey cracked a small smile. “You still got time. I wouldn’t recommend doing it this way though.”

Jimmy laughed but quickly sobered. “You told Mom and Pops yet?”

“Nah… Ma gon’ cry and throw a baby shower before she even meets the girl. Pops, though… He don’t play that baby mama drama shit. He’s old-school.”

“For sure, you just gotta step up. All you can do now is handle it like a man.”

Jey nodded slowly. “I went to see her last night. She let me in. We talked.”

“And?”

“She hurt,” Jey admitted. “She said it straight—she thought what we had meant something. She didn’t say it like she was mad, either. She was just… tired. I saw it in her face. It hit different.”

Jimmy studied him. “You still like her?”

Jey hesitated.“Yeah. But I don’t think that matters anymore.”

“Maybe it does. Maybe it don’t. But what matters is that little boy. You can’t flake on him ‘cause you confused. Figure it out.”

Jey nodded again. “I’m gonna try. For him.”

-

Kaliyah

The living room was quiet, except for the hum of the TV she forgot to turn off.

Kaliyah sat on the couch, legs tucked under her, one hand resting on her stomach like it was second nature now. Her phone sat face down on the coffee table.

No calls. No texts.

Jey said he wanted to figure it out but she knew better than to trust a man off his first apology.

Earlier this week, he’d promised to step up. Said he’d be better. Be there. But today, at her five-month appointment, all she got was a text five minutes before walking into the doctor’s office.

“Can’t make it. Something came up.”

She’d stared at that message so long the receptionist had to call her name twice.

To say she was disappointed would be an understatement but deep down, she wasn’t surprised.

What scared her wasn’t just doing it alone. It was that maybe, this baby would grow up feeling unloved just like she did.

Growing up in the system, Kaliyah never had anyone stick around. She was passed around from house to house until she stopped unpacking her things. Love always came with conditions. With rules. With expiration dates.

Except for Sabrina.

Sabrina had been her constant. And Kaliyah was grateful for her. But Sabrina wasn’t the same as building a real family. A partner. A safe place.

She thought she was finally getting close to that with Jey.

But she should’ve known better.

She pressed her hand against her belly. Her son kicked back, strong. That same little flutter she felt the first time they placed the monitor on her belly today. Alone.

The nurse smiled and said, “Looks like he’s going to be a strong one.”

She had smiled back, but it was hollow.

She blinked up at the ceiling and sighed.

She wanted happily ever after. Instead, she was stuck in reality.

After a moment, she reached for her phone and tapped Sabrina’s name.

It rang twice.

“Hey mama, how was the appointment?” Sabrina answered, cheerful as always.

Kaliyah didn’t speak right away. Her throat burned from holding it all in.

“…He didn’t come.”

“Wait—Jey?”

“Yeah. Said something came up. Texted me right before I walked in.” Kaliyah wiped the tear the trickled down her face.

“Oh, hell no.” Sabrina’s voice dropped. “You’re five months pregnant and this man couldn’t even show up?”

“I know,” Kaliyah whispered. “I shouldn’t be surprised. I told myself not to expect anything, but…”

“But you hoped.”

“Yeah.”

Sabrina let out a sigh. “I’m coming over.”

“No, it’s okay. I just… I needed to get it out. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, Kay. And you don’t have to be. This shit is heavy. You’re growing a whole person, carrying all this alone. The least he could do is show up.”

Kaliyah blinked fast, trying to stop the tears that kept slipping anyway. “I’m just tired. Tired of feeling like I’m not enough. Like I’m doing something wrong.”

“You’re not,” Sabrina said fiercely. “You keep lowering the bar just so he can step over it. And you’re the one paying for it.”

Kaliyah didn’t say anything.

“Listen,” Sabrina continued, softer now. “You got me. And your baby got me too. When he gets here, we’re making sure he’s loved whether Jey gets it together or not.”

Kaliyah let out a shaky breath, finally letting herself lean back against the couch.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t thank me. Just promise you’ll feel this. Don’t bottle it up. Cry. Scream. Eat ice cream and drag him in your notes app. Whatever you gotta do.”

Kaliyah laughed through her tears. “I already wrote two fake texts cussing him out. But it’s really not worth it. I’m just gonna focus on my baby.”

“That’s my girl.”

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