I think you’re very cool and wonderful in terms of good qualities (there are more but I’m sleepy). I totally understand feeling shitty about job stuff though lol Feel that very hard… But you’re still young (so am I, I guess) and so much can change in even just a year. Things will work out, maybe not right away and maybe not like you expect/want, but they will.
Keep in mind, your good qualities are on your back! You may not always see the things in yourself that you admire in others but that’s only because they aren’t always somewhere obvious. They are there. I see them.