#cat socialization

kia ora!

you're in for a long journey depending on how feral this cat is. For a moment, I want to distinguish between 'feral' and 'stray'. A stray cat is a pet cat that's gotten lost. They generally associate people with food and have a pretty solid socialization background. It might be a bit buried under some trauma and distrust, but it's still there.

In contrast, a feral cat is a cat that was born in the wild and has either no or severely limited human socialization. Adult ferals might never tame down--- it really depends on their genetics and how much social interaction they had with people when they were young. Once a cat's socialization window closes, that's generally it; it won't open again.

Your new cat might never be social. He might never want pets. He might be a little house spirit that you only occasionally see once in a while.

But you also might get lucky. I just don't want to give false hope or anything.

I'm not sure what kind of cat treats are available in Aotearoa. If you can get your hands on them, churu is your best bet. If you can't get churu, get yourself some meat-flavored baby food (make sure it doesn't have garlic or onions in it). Smear some on a plate and go hang out with the cat.

Literally just sit on the floor with him. he might not eat the food and that's ok. The goal isn't to really get him to eat it in your presence. It's just to teach him that your presence = REALLY delicious food. Just sit quietly with him for a few minutes. It's best to keep the first interactions brief, to avoid causing him too much stress.

If he starts hissing, for example, bail in five minutes. You don't want him to be upset. As he becomes more used to you, you can increase the time. Eventually, he'll start eating off the plate. When that starts happening, move the plate closer to you. It's fine to be slow; everything is happening at the cat's pace.

When he's comfortable enough to eat like right next to you, you can try offering the churu directly from the tube (or a spoonful of baby food). While he's eating, you can try to pet him--- again, stop if he's distressed or upset. I don't recommend trying to pet the top of the head. Instead, go for the shoulder. It doesn't have to be a lot. Just a little bit.

If he's not interested in food one day, you can try to introduce a toy instead. I usually use a wand toy because it allows for plenty of distance between me and the potentially feral cat.

This will take time. It can take months. Or even years. Hell, I can still barely touch some of my semi-feral cats. Typically, it takes a few months. It took Sebastian about six months.

Can we please stop making cats agoraphobic and socially anxious to the point of flight/freeze/fight (in that order.) It is dangerous for your cat if (when) it DOES get out, and guarantees that any sort of vet visit or moving or just having company over (whenever the pandemic ends—please be responsible) will be much more traumatic than it has to be.

Train your cat to wear a harness—your cat may never “walk” on it in the same way a dog does (they may just lead you around the yard but that’s okay, they’re getting enrichment), but it gives you an extra layer of security for transitions vs trusting you can keep hold of a panicking cat. Especially while traveling or doing vet visits. This WILL require patience (months worth), but it is worth it.

Take your cat on car rides. That’s it. Just get them used to the vehicle, same as you would a dog. Park the car someplace shady and let them explore the interior. Make it Less Scary.

Carry your cat. Yes, you read that right. Actually learn how to hold your cat and get your cat hand-tame. Again, this is so that your cat already trusts you when you are in a situation where it has to be held—but many cats will come to tolerate it as a brief form of affection or even enjoy it because it’s More Time With Hooman! or a better height advantage (cats enjoy high places.)

If you can afford it, get a pet stroller or pet backpack. (This is also where that harness training pays off ‘cause if they already tolerate or even like their harness, then these devices become useable—they all have a short chord that clips on to restrain for obvious reasons.) Get your cat used to seeing the SKY and PEOPLE in a safe way that lets you keep them safe and secure.

There are far too many cats who either ignore or actually like strangers and don’t panic at The Sky (regardless of your feelings about outdoor/indoor-outdoor cats and shop cats and even cats that have people who hosted company often) for Indoor ONLY!! cats’ social anxiety and agoraphobia to be normal.

I see it a lot, many times when it comes to adopting cats.

“Well the girl cat is an alpha so I can’t adopt another cat.” 

Or

“My one cat is the alpha so they beat up the other cats.”

And I just wanted to say,

I understand what you mean, but please stop using the term alpha.

That term came from a dated canine training theory, so I’ll link y’all a few articles, since I’m not actually a canine behaviorist. 

https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/behavior/debunking-the-alpha-dog-theory/

http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2007250,00.html

https://www.animalhealthfoundation.net/blog/2017/10/the-myth-of-the-alpha-dog/

Essentially this theory cropped up as a behavior modification “technique” (heavy use of the quotation marks there), when some wolves were observed in what was assumed to be a pack exhibiting pack behavior. The observation and theory was later debunked in wolves, for several reasons (lack of sample size, relation of wolves to each other), but also the very important addition that dogs are not wolves.

So I’m gonna kinda drop a truth load on y’all.

If dogs are not wolves, cats are definitely not wolves.

I know. It’s shocking. But I’ve checked. Trust me. 

That is to say, felines behaving in an aggressive manner towards other cats is absolutely still -a thing-, but identifying it as “alpha” behavior is 1) incorrect and 2) allowing you to let a behavioral problem slide by simply by dismissing the behavior as something that just exists, when in reality it shouldn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, cats get upset at other cats. Anxiety and tension can get high for various reasons, from fighting over food resources when cats lack options of feeding, to literally “I saw a bird out the window and I can’t get it so now I’m HECKIN’ U P S E T and I WANT TO KILL IT but I CAN’T. So I guess I’ll give the other cat in the house a mean right-hook.”

There are a MILLION and a half reasons for your cats to fight, or not get along, but literally none of them are because your cat is an alpha.

In the “wild” (heavy quotes here considering Felis catus is an invasive species literally almost everywhere), cats do a LOT of stuff together. They will share food, they will communally raise kittens, they will protect what they deem as their territory, but it’s more akin to cats living in a communal building with some shared living space, but with a ton of extra rooms so you and your fellow housemates only HAVE to interact when you WANT to (like communal din-din). You know your roommate likes to read from 12-4 PM, so you stay out of the reading room during that time, because you have like three other rooms to choose from to do the thing you wanted to do. You can go use that room later when your roommate isn’t there.

So yeah, cat “territory” functions more as a time-share instead of like a hard black-and-white concept.

What happens when a new roommate comes into the house, though? Maybe that roommate doesn’t know the 12-4 reading room rule, so they barge in with something that roommate REALLY doesn’t want to deal with.

“What’s up, dude? I was thinking we could listen to some heavy metal! You like Dimmu Borgir?” “Hey, I’m reading right now. It’s my reading time. I always use the room at this time.” “Pfft, that’s boring. I want you to listen to Progenies of the Great Apocalypse. It’s my favorite.”

You can see why Reading Room Cat would be upset, right? Reading Room Cat might decide to lay down the law with a “Hey, you’re new here, you don’t make the rules for the reading room, take your heavy metal into the music room where it belongs”.

And yeah, cats can be pretty compartmental about what they allow in what area. Like play time should not happen near where they go to the bathroom, for instance. That’s weird. Cats don’t like the idea of getting through this level of Angry Birds while relieving themselves. The fact that they don’t like eating where they go is a little more obvious, but even playtime should be separate. 

This is just a single example, though. Like I said, there are MANY reasons why cats may not get along with another cat.

-They may not have the option to avoid the other cat in the house for whatever reason. They don’t have the choice to get up and away from them, they don’t have the choice to hide from them due to lack of ways around a room. Only so much we can do about that aside from knocking holes in the wall, but there is a lot we can do to help. Shelving, hides, tunnels, things like that. -One cat may want to play when the other one REALLY WOULD RATHER NOT, THANKS. -Cats may be fighting for a resource, such as food, water, or a litter box. Not having the option to get to choose where they can pee when all of the litter boxes are being used can definitely cause some inter-cat aggression. -Cats may be introduced too quickly to each other, or may be experiencing just a general issue sharing their space. It’s why I advocate for INCREDIBLY long socialization periods, and even re-introducing cats that have known each other for years should their relationships start to come into question. -One cat may be getting increased anxiety from an external source and may not have the adequate blow-off tool required. This is when increased play, puzzle feeders, and monitoring window-watching is important.

Those are only a few things, though. Things like illness, injury, sudden changes, a specific occurrence, and more can change how a cat interacts with another cat.

And yes, there are aggressive cats. There are cats that become aggressive more easily than others, and yes, those cats may live a happier and more fulfilling life without other cats in the home, or with limited interaction with other cats. They may need medication to help you figure out the best way to get them to live their best lives. There are definitely things you need to consider with cats, and some cats may just be more aggressive by nature, or by upbringing.

But it’s not because they’re an alpha.

So chose your words wisely! Try not to perpetuate a debunked theory for a different species by also tacking it onto feline-kind.

I'm not surprised. Cat behavior and development are HUGELY under-explored at the moment, at least in comparison to dog social development. What I'm saying here is purely anecdotal, but they're the anecdotes of someone who raises between 30-45 kittens each summer and has done so for the past five years now, and has done several years of observation of feral cat behavior within colony settings.

Each fear period can be loosely connected to a major event in a cat's social life. These fear periods are a learning experience for cats, when their fight-or-flight instinct is fairly high. Even a familiar thing becomes Suddenly Scary, so it's important to treat cats with particular care during these ages. A single scary event can result in a lifelong fear.

When a kitten goes through a scary event during this time, it's important that YOU, the human, don't panic. It's all normal. Don't make a big deal out of it. You don't want to force the cat back into the scary thing---- that just reinforces a cat's anxiety that the Thing is Inescapable. Instead, introduce it paired with a fun experience (ie, treats or a favorite toy). Concentrating your cat's attention on the positive helps them ignore the negative and let's them gain some confidence.

Reward your cat for interacting with the Scary thing, even if the interaction is as simple as looking at it. You want to let your cat control how much they interact (or don't) with the Scary thing.

Socialization is a lifelong process. It doesn't have a start or a stop. You can always work on fears later, so please don't ever feel like you've failed your kitten by not addressing a fear during a fear period. Just like dogs, some cats are naturally nervous and will require a little extra care and attention. This is all fine.

9-12 weeks: most kittens hit their first fear period around this time. This is approximately the first time they'd leave their nest and begin encountering other cats inside the same colony. It's also when most kittens are adopted into a new family. This fear period tends to be very short, lasting around a week.

6-9 months: approximately sexual maturity for most cats. They stop being kittens in the eyes of the adult members and begin being treated as adults. They're given significantly less leeway. This fear period tends to last longer, usually around 2-3 weeks.

This is a great question!

So, as for memories, we can’t be sure. We know that cats can grow accustomed to things that they used to be afraid of, and it’s a combination of training and using a shorter long-term memory against their fear. Certain stimuli seem to hold onto cats more than memories. So smelling a scent they associate with something negative versus where us humans just kind of remember that one time we said something really embarrassing in first grade (and I’ll never forget that...)

HOWEVER, how kittens are raised has an IMMENSE influence on how they behave as adults. If the cat is friendly, it’s a good assumption that they were well socialized with multiple humans. There are theories about parts of a cat’s personality being somewhat genetic, typically offered by the father, but that’s a theory, and something that, while interesting, isn’t something I put full stock in (not without further study). It’s not so much memories but conditioning, though.

With all that being said, regardless of a cat’s ability to integrate with other cats, you want to set them up for success. Their upbringing should make the introduction process MUCH easier and MUCH more streamlined, and less stressful for everyone involved, though. Giving cats that time apart to keep their stress levels down will help the cats accept each other more, and learn how to interact with the other. Not all cats are going to be like your cat’s siblings. Some may have liked to play rough, and a new cat may not. Granted, growing up with siblings gave the cat an idea of what social cues are normal when he DOES play too rough, and it should help.

Cats share a mysterious reputation. They walk quietly, observe everything, and communicate through subtle signals. Yet not all cats think or behave the same way. A cat raised in a loving home develops a very different mindset from one surviving outdoors without human contact. Understanding the differences between domesticated and feral cat psychology helps guardians, rescuers, veterinarians, and…