#casturbation

Gets brainworms about it. Keeps noticing Cas’s life movements of sliding his fingers down the back of his cell phone before picking it up, licking cream off the stirrer, handling the leather shoulder bag full of case notes that sam hands off to him with care and affection and going crazy thinking about how he might have done all that to the impala. Asks 1 (one) burning question of why several days later at a diner while sam is in the bathroom and then castiel keeps going on about how he goes about it (kissing first, he is Making Love) and how the leather feels and how cared for and safe he feels inside her. It started when he was ‘human’, he came to understand her as a place of safety (and vulnerability) no matter the elements, and he slept in her once and started kissing her and “our relationship progressed from there”

“relationship – wh- she’s just a car!”

“[cas frown] you really think so?”

“I- no, obviously, she’s- urgh, whatever!! Why don’t you do that freaky shit to your own ride?”

“Dean. Be serious,” He sounds like Dean had just compared a supermodel to a slug. Although - knowing Cas’s certified freak status, he might be more into the latter. No amount of hysterical thought jumping can save him from hearing: “While the Lincoln has its strengths, you must agree that Baby far eclipses it in erotic potential. The leather alone-”

“Oh god shut up shut up shut up!”

He sees motion activate several other nights and has to jerk off about it, hard, almost painful in self punishment for getting infected with Cas’s freak shit. Eventually he decides to confront Cas again. Or maybe fuck him. He’s not sure. He gets to the door of the rocking impala, flashlight at the ready, swings it wide and comes across Eileen’s shocked face and naked body, where she’d been rutting into the edge of the seat.

“I can explain,” She says immediately, after Dean claps a hand over his eyes and groans in horror. “Dean, listen, I’m not usually like this, it’s just, the leather…”

“JUST WASH HER OFF AND STOP EXPLAINING.”

Dean declares the next morning that he will be keeping all sets of impala keys on his person from now on. Sam is nonplussed and complains about it: “What the hell? Why? It’s the family car.”

“I don’t know, Sam, maybe someone in this room would like to bring Sam in on what’s been happening in the family car.”

Thank you for the prompt! Here you have the silly, smutty, little something I came up with

“Dean, I think my vessel is malfunctioning,” Castiel says into the phone.“What? What’s going on?” Dean asks, agitated. He knew it was a bad idea letting Cas go on a single hunt in his state. His grace has been drained and he’s not really human yet, but he doesn’t have all his angelic mojo either. Dean shouldn’t have let him go, he should have insisted on him staying in the bunker.“My penis is erect.”Dean blinks into his coffee mug. He thought he was awake but he must be still dreaming because there’s no way in hell Castiel has just said what Dean heard.“I know it is its natural function, but I am not sexually aroused. I just woke up and it was erect. I don’t think it’s supposed to do that without sexual stimulation.”Dean huffs out a laugh. He’s still mortified, but at the same time, he’s relieved. At least Cas isn’t actually hurt.“It’s just a morning wood, Cas. It happens.”“Has it happen to you?” Cas asks with doubt in his voice and Dean doesn’t need to see him to know he’s squinting.“Yeah, Cas. Many times. It’s nothing to worry about.”“But what do I do about it?”Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. When did his life become this particular shade of absurd?“It will pass. You can take a cold shower to make it quicker.”“That doesn’t sound pleasant,” Cas answers. He’s been such a princess ever since he started to have more human sensations. He hates cold and his nose is really sensitive so he sniffs everything and he will groan and moan when he has to sleep on a hard mattress or under scratchy blankets. Just the thought of Cas’ grumpy face makes Dean smile.“Well, you can also-” Dean stops himself. He can’t say that. No, he’s not going to say that to his angelic best friend.“I can what, Dean? Is there a more pleasant way to get rid of it?”Dean feels the heat rising into his cheeks. He’s desperately trying not to imagine Cas with a boner.“You can… touch it? Make yourself, uh, release?”“You mean masturbate?”

Cas wants to try masturbating, Dean talks him through it over the phone

Sometimes, when in the business of killing monsters, and occasionally having monsters kill you back, the safest place to go was where monsters didn’t think to go.

This was why Sam, Dean, and Castiel were hiding out at Rufus’ cabin, and had no intention of leaving for at least two... maybe six days.

There wasn’t a lot to do in Rufus’ cabin, besides watch TV, but the TV was broken. There was a rickety old bunk bed in the mustiest corner of the room, and a big old couch in the middle that still sported Dean’s ass print from when he had a broken leg. Sam kept the fire stoked with logs from the nearby barn, and Dean kept pizza on the table.

Castiel, however, sat on the couch, ankles crossed with his legs stretched out, reading the third of the five men’s fashion magazines Dean had brought back along with the aforementioned pizza.

Castiel glanced up from his magazine as Dean emerged from the tiny bathroom, fully clothed but scrubbing his hair dry with a towel. Castiel had been waiting to speak, and now Dean was here, he announced: “I think,” he began, “I’d like to try masturbating.”

Dean froze mid-step, foot in the air.

Sam looked up from his TV-tinkering.

“This magazine says that it can improve a low mood, and I have been feeling somewhat down since I lost my wings.” Castiel pondered the featured article again, examining the headline ‘Top 10 Reasons Why Jerking Off is Good For You’. “The only thing is, I’m not fully convinced I know how.”

Dean’s breath stuttered. He glanced to his brother, then slipped his damp towel off his shoulders, tossed it on the back of a dining chair, then strode towards the door. “Well, I’m going out. You got this, Sammy, right?”

“What?” Sam yelped. “No?!”

“Yeeah, you do,” Dean said, in the tone of a big brother encouraging a younger brother to do a particularly difficult section of schoolwork. “You’re practically an expert.”

“Um? No? Dean, Dean—! Heyheyhey, wait— Wait—!”

Dean put on his leather jacket and strode out in unlaced boots, door slamming behind him.

Sam made a quiet sound of dismay, standing up beside the TV, screwdriver blade in hand.

“Are you an expert?” Castiel asked, eyebrows raised.

Sam turned to Castiel with a plain, half-strained smile. “You know, I’m really not the best person to ask about this— Maybe you could look it up, you know, on... Google.”

>:)

Let’s say they both have all the time in the world:

Dean is very familiar with himself. He knows what he likes and he takes his time getting to all his favourite parts, slowly building himself up to the brink in a way that he knows works for him. Slow and sure and in control. Comfortable and habitual.

Cas is still learning himself, so his solo sessions are more exploratory, trying new things, seeing what he likes and doesn’t like. He’s a little more frantic, a little more wild in the eyes, everything that’s happening in his body is still a little too new and overwhelming.

After A Storm by @museaway

Wordcount: 10,482

Rating: M

Summary: Despite Zeke’s threats, Dean doesn't tell Cas to leave the bunker. He revels in their burgeoning relationship, content to end his day with Cas asleep on his shoulder, even if they'll always sleep in separate rooms. Cas is it for him. But when Cas begins to experience physical urges he can't control, he asks Dean for a hand—metaphorically, and later, literally.

We’re all here because we love Supernatural, but I think we can all agree that sometimes it hurt us. For me, S9 is the most painful. And so it’s little surprise that I absolutely adore this S9 fix-it in which Dean doesn’t kick Cas out of the Bunker, and they slowly fall into each other’s orbits in progressively intimate ways. We’re in Dean’s head for the course of the fic, and the way he worries about and takes care of newly-human Cas is so heartwrenching and sweet. And Cas, slowly adjusting to humanity, puts so much faith and trust in Dean in return. It’s a gorgeously balanced partnership between them, the kind of thing that makes you want to just whisper to yourself “it’s so soft.”